Having a baby is an incredible event in life.
It’s also a painful, sometimes violent experience.
Actually birthing a baby is an enormous undertaking.
There is blood, and flesh and tears.
It’s a whole scene.
In the midst of the process, moms may say a thing to two that is… off-color.
Not everybody will appreciate the language.
Case in point…
Redditor AnswerTrue8371 to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for swearing at my doctor while giving birth?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (28 F[emale]) gave birth to my baby 2 weeks ago.”
“I was in labor for close to 30 hours and was incredibly exhausted.”
“My doctor was great the whole way through and I never had any issues with him.”
“Towards the end the pain was unbearable, I couldn’t have an epidural due to a heart condition and I felt like I was on the verge of passing out from the pain.”
“During an awful contraction, I said ‘Jesus f**king Christ.'”
“My doctor looked at me and said ‘Please don’t use the Lord’s name in vain.'”
“I quickly responded with ‘Go f**k yourself’”
“My doctor didn’t say much for the remainder of the birth.”
“Afterwards, my husband told me maybe I should apologize.”
“I didn’t, but now thinking back on it maybe I should have.”
“I feel pretty guilty and am considering sending an apology note to the hospital.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for what I said?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Oh Good Lord. I mean, I cannot imagine that that is the worst thing any ob-gyn heard during a birth.”
“I have an acquaintance who was a nurse in a N[eonatal] I[ntensive] C[are] U[nit] and she says it’s a pretty common occurrence for even the most… prudish/religious/whatever of women.”
“Even they will curse like a proverbial sailor, letting loose a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan (who remembers that quote?).”
“It, uh, seems a reasonable method of release when in pain.”
“Your husband needs to relax, and honestly, if your ob-gyn said this to you in the middle of labor… f**k that guy.”
“Honestly, while this may seem extreme, that’s a doctor-changing moment.”
“How concerned about your care could he possibly have been if ‘Jesus F**king Christ’ gives him pause?”
“I mean it’s not like you said to him to be careful because you want to sacrifice the baby to Satan within 10 minutes of being born.”
“NTA, by a LOT. Doc is… and your husband isn’t far behind.”
“Lord a mighty, the things people get in a twist about.”
‘FOCUS Doctor, FOCUS!” ~ SoImaRedditUserNow
“Also, let’s not forget that the whole ‘using the Lord’s name in vain’ thing wasn’t about cursing with the Lord’s name, it was about using the Lord’s name to manipulate and take advantage of others.”
‘So not only is your doc an a**, but a spiritually uneducated moron.” ~ wonder-Be
“Tangent from OP’s post…”
“When I was little, I went to a friend’s birthday party at a bowling alley.”
“When he or one of the other kids I was playing with would do a bad throw, I would say something like dang it, crud, darn, or shoot.”
“His mom reprimanded me and told me that I needed to stop saying those things.”
“So I complied because I didn’t want to get in trouble.”
“The next time, I say ‘Ahh, man!’ like a little kid might.”
“Kinda cartoonish and over-exaggerated, ya know?”
“And she reprimanded me AGAIN and said I was taking the Lord’s name in vain.”
“I didn’t know how to respond, so I just sat there quietly.”
“Then the next time someone did a bad throw, she looked at me and said, ‘Ahh, shucks!’”
“I remember thinking, ‘That was so lame. I’m not saying that.’”
“So I just walked away and played arcade instead.”
“But from her perspective, she just saw me look at her like 😐 and walk off without saying a word.” ~ shapeofidiot
“All of my friends that have given birth swore at everyone in the room, and at least 3 threatened murder towards their husbands.”
“I threatened to murder the doctor to agreeing to remove her IUD so she could ‘Deal with this s**t instead.'”
“She later admitted that was fairly irrational.”
“Women in labor say a lot of things.”
“Because you’re literally pushing an (on average) 7ish lb, 21 inches long, 13.5-inch round BABY HUMAN out of a hole that is normally extremely small (and even fully dilated, the cervical opening circumference is about 12.5 inches. Not 13.5).”
“It hurts.” ~ BabyCowGT
“Oh God. I was primal.”
“I don’t think I screamed any obscenities other than telling my husband to stop effing touching me but my friend/doula described it as ‘roaring like a lion’ when I pushed my son out.”
“It helps, way more than you think it might.”
“I’m definitely quiet, modest, don’t like to make a big fuss, generally overly considerate.”
“In labor though, I didn’t care who saw or heard what.”
“All I could focus on was what I was going through.”
“Everyone else be damned.” ~ 525600-minutes
“Not the same thing, but everyone I’ve talked to who has gone through it has been shocked about the experience.”
“I had kidney stones a few times in one year, but the first night, I thought I was legitimately dying because I had no idea what it was.”
“I crawled on the floor into the bathroom, and there’s a whole lot of too much information here that was not pleasant but definitely indicated pain was at the forefront, and it wasn’t imaginary.”
“So, I get a nice little ambulance ride because it woke up the house when I was starting to get more vocal, and then I got to the ER and was trying to not embarrass myself in front of strangers but when I’d get a nice little barb of pain I’d whimper and then finally started swearing.”
“The nurse whipped her head around and told me that language wasn’t appropriate anywhere, no matter what.”
“A few minutes later, when they were inserting a catheter, she mocked me for the said too much information issues that I wasn’t even aware of and said she must have read my age wrong.”
“I told her I hoped she has to pass kidney stones every month with the same pain threshold until she remembers me and feels that she was horrible to someone when they came into the one place you’re supposed to be able, to be honest about your health concerns and pain level so they know how to treat you.”
“They switched my nurse.” ~ sharkeatskitten
“I was giving birth to a 9lb 5ounce baby with a big head. Nurse refused to call for my epidural. She was mean.”
“Anyway, when I was at the end, I screamed every nasty word in the book and made some new ones up.”
“Everything ended well.”
“Nurse apologized to me, which didn’t help much.”
“Common occurrence.” ~ CommunicationOne6207
“I’d have done the same if I was giving birth and in unbearable pain. The doc decided it was appropriate to scold me for cursing.”
“Hell, when I was giving birth, the assistant to my doctor was getting short with me about where to put my hands, and I flipped out on her saying, ‘This is my first time giving birth. How the hell do I know what to do?!'”
“Then she stopped being up tight, and no one gave me s**t.”
“OP is NTA at all!” ~ Defiant_McPiper
“NTA. I had a completely unmedicated labor (not by choice).”
“At one point, a male doctor came in and told me that I needed to relax and stop screaming.”
“I told him to f**k off.”
“He left sharpish, and the midwives found it hilarious.”
“Apparently, that doctor was a bit of a d**k, and loads of people were scared of him.”
“When your husband and doctor push a human being out of their genitals, then they can have an opinion on what you say during labor.”
“Otherwise, they can, as you perfectly put it, go f**k themselves.” ~ anonoaw
“Same! Unmediated by choice and people, two states over prob heard me.”
“My own mother told me to hold it down. I may scare the other women in labor.”
My doc said, ‘No baby, you scream it out loud as you want, and every time you let out a scream, give me a push just as big.'”
“Worked like a charm.”
“My doc deserves a medal.” ~ LizzieHatfield
“NTA. Whatever you do don’t apologize.”
“Your doctor CHOSE THAT PROFESSION, knowing full well the kinds of stress and agony people would be under.”
“And this selfish prick knew you couldn’t even use anesthesia.”
“A Doctor’s job, ESPECIALLY during birth, is to make you comfortable.”
“This a**hole is getting paid a sh**load of money to PROVIDE A SERVICE TO YOU.”
“You are a customer. A patient.”
“If his skin is so goddamn thin that he can’t deal with you ‘Taking the Lord’s name in vain,’ then he needs to get the f**k out of Obstetrics.”
“You shouldn’t be apologizing.”
“You should be complaining.”
“Tell anyone who’ll listen that this guy is willing to stop doing his job and scold a woman 30 hours into labor because of his religious beliefs.”
“Wouldn’t you want to know that if you were picking an OB?”
“I’ve worked with plenty of doctors who are religious, and NONE OF THEM would do something this unprofessional.”
“So NTA. And now, it’s not NAH.”
“The doctor is a massive a**hole.”
“Also, bless you, OP, for telling him to go f**k himself.”
“You put him right into his place, and hopefully, he’ll learn from it.” ~ RPGenome
“Your doctor was in the wrong, full stop.”
“If he can’t handle what a person may say while in EXTREME pain, he’s in the wrong business.”
“You are NTA.” ~ Best_Tumbleweed6931
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
Labor is not an easy experience.
Doctors should be aware that there will be screaming and expletives involved.
Do what makes you feel good.
Focus on your health and healing.
And congratulations!