People Whose Lives Have Been Rocked By DNA Services Like 23andMe Reveal What Happened

There’s often a dark side to having your DNA heritage tested – you might found out you’re not who you think you are. But that’s the risk, and maybe if everyone got their DNA tested, there would less racism in the world. Personally, I’m open-minded, and family isn’t only defined by blood.

gonegirlss asked: People whose families have been destroyed by 23andme and other DNA sequencing services, what went down?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

Dad got around

I’ve been searching for my father my whole life and through 23andme I just found a half-brother, finally answering the question. Our father is unfortunately passed, but we’re meeting in person in April.

A couple weeks after we found each other we were also contacted by another half-sister.


Damn good luck, but dad sure got around.



My brother got our whole family 23andMe kits for Christmas last year. Everyone did the swab and got their results back which showed how we’re all related and yada yada yada, but my results came back inconclusive. 23andMe sent me a new kit to do it again and THAT one also came back inconclusive. So the company sent me an email basically saying I can never do it again probably because I’m using a bunch of resources with no results.

Anyway now my family says I don’t have any human DNA and that I must be a lizard. They make lizard sounds when I’m around and I am ashamed.


Someone has gone to a lot of effort to block your DNA truth…

Whats ur mum been up to?


Emotionally, at this point in my life, I cannot deal with the idea that my mom cheated on my dad with a lizard.


What are the odds?

Kind of the opposite. I found out I have an older sister, apparently my dad was being a little promiscuous lol. RIP old man. And she also shares my birthday, what are the chances?!

Edit: for everyone sending me the probability, I get it lol. I just meant it’s crazy that I found out I have an estranged older sister who just so happens to share my birthday as well. Pretty crazy to me anyway.




1/365.25 forgot to factor in leap year.


When your dad isn’t your dad

I just got off the phone with my newly found bio dad. My mom died in 1980, my dad in 2012. I logged Friday in to AncestryDNA to get my results from their Black Friday sale. It said that this person in NC was my father, no doubt. Turns out it was my moms boyfriend before my dad came along. I have no idea if anyone knew. My newly found father certainly didn’t.


How was that conversation? You must be feeling a lot of feels!


I am indeed full of the feels. But I’ve had 24 hours to think about and cyber stalk the guy, I just sprung it on him at 6pm last night. I need to let him process.


This is pretty cool

I discovered that I have some of the highest known Neanderthal DNA, more than 99% users and over 4% of my total DNA. 3 tests submitted and a flight provided to a university in Australia for a testing. Was cool at first, and then not.

It bothered my wife a bit at first thanks to watching a couple documentaries.


Not trying to sound rude, but are you different physically because of your higher than normal percentage of neanderthal DNA?


It’s possible. A professor wouldn’t talk to me directly, he talked to 20 other people about my x-rays and stuff. A lot was about my chest/torso, and arms and stuff.


This can’t be easy to learn

Not me, but one of my bar regulars did the test with her older sister. Turns out not only are they not related to each other, but both of them are adopted. And, their adoptive parents are both dead. And, their entire extended family knew the whole time but no one ever told them.


Bright side, two people chose very deliberately to adopt them as they were and raise them as their own and that’s beautiful.


Malpractice much

My 75-year-old grandmother just found out her dad was not her real dad. Turns out her mom had an affair with the family doctor and never told a single soul. Not only did she find out her family doctor was her real dad (the one who birthed not only her but also all of her own children) but turns out this family doctor was sleeping with a lot his patients. She now has a bunch of new half sisters and brothers, some of them knew who their real dad was and some of them didn’t. My great grandmother was quite the secret keeper.


This just happened a lot in the past. Regardless if they are patients, it’s an ethical violation even if the relationship was consensual. The power differential makes it an abuse of his position.


A common theme, it seems

My dad turned out not to be my dad. So the basic 23andMe family surprise I guess? Also found out that my heritage can best be described as white mystery.


White mystery sounds like a bad chocolate truffle name.



When my birth mom was pregnant with me she was too ashamed to admit who my father was. She was too young to be a mom and so she gave me to my current parents when I was born.(they were 10 years older than her and already had a kid) I love my parents and couldn’t care who my birth father was but I wanted to see what I was made of.

Everyone was pretty pissed when we found out my dad was my birth dad.


That’s a hell of a twist.


Honey, we have to tell you something….

You’re… not adopted.


Mama was busy

Not destroyed, it just confirmed what we already knew that there was more than one Father between 5 siblings. At least three as it turned out.


Yup. Love my mom but my late grandmother told me she had doubts that my older brother was my dads kid. Also, there is doubts of 2 of my half siblings who my father fought legally to gain custody of when they were very young.

We’ve agreed we’d rather not know and just be our own little messed up family of 6 children who love each other and their nieces/nephews dearly.

My siblings and I choose to love each other regardless of who is biologically related to who.


When Catholic guilt has its revenge

Spouse found out his dad wasn’t his dad. His judgmental holier than thou Catholic mom had some explaining to do. He lost an immense amount of respect for her, especially when the bio dad tried to reach out to him. She is still in contact with the married man she had an affair with over 4 decades ago. He refuses to speak to him and has limited contact with her.


That’s brutal. Did his non bio dad find out too? That’s got to be terrible to find out after so many years. I hope they still have a good relationship.


Yep, he did and they still have a good relationship. My husband doesn’t discuss it with him because he doesn’t want his mothers lies to compromise the relationship he’s had for 4 decades.


Alzheimer’s is terrifying and devastating. Would you want to know if you have the gene?

My grandpa passed away from Alzheimer’s, so my family uploaded our raw DNA to another site to see if any of us have the same genes¬†that make it likely for any of the rest of us to have it as well. Luckily most of us didn’t have the gene my grandpa had, but my uncles have it. So while my immediate family knows we’ve got average chances, my poor uncles are probably dreading the future.

Edit: I used Promethease.


Yeah I’m trying to decide if I would want that information about myself or not. On the one hand, I like having information and planning. On the other hand, knowing that would probably make me sick with anxiety.


That’s the other thing, we figure if we know, then we can do whatever we can to look out for things and actively try to prevent them. I think it was good for me, because I saw high probabilities for stuff like diabetes and heart problems that I already knew ran in my family. Things like this, I can actively try to prevent. But for things like Alzheimer’s, I think living with the anxiety would be tough. Also, people are still figuring out DNA, so obviously you have to take results with a grain of salt, and it’s hard to decide if it’s worth the anxiety in case the results aren’t even accurate.


I want a new family in France

Ours was backwards. A French lady messaged my mom and said she thought they shared a father. Very believable because Papa was a proven whore. Sure enough she did a 23andMe and sure enough papa is a great big slut. Rest in peace.


Ay a new family member.


Yeap. I haven’t talked to her yet. Mostly because I barely have time to give my mom attention let alone an aunt who I’d have to use Google translate with. I do think my other full aunts are sort of upset but not my mom. My mom realizes it isn’t half aunt’s fault. She was adopted out and has 4 or 5 other siblings on her mom’s side all of them were adopted out and one of them ended up near us in america. Her bio mom really liked to fuck American soldiers apparently.

Anyways, she looks exactly like my great grandma!


Money money money money… money

Husband found cousin who informed him of the passing of his estranged father. Father had some money in bank, family fought over the money.


Who won?


They got the money even though they wanted nothing to do with him when alive. They still fought between themselves over it. So much more about this family they are piece of work. I have barely any contact with them.


When your DNA contains genetic fossils

My family wasn’t destroyed, but my Grandpa held the family record for Neanderthal DNA variants and I broke the family record by just a few. I have 1 more than my mom. I just thought I’d share.

Edit: Lots of people are asking. I have 318 variants, my mom has 317, and my grandpa has ~312.


Ever get the urge to paint a cave?


Every day.


Would you say that you relate to the Flintstones on a personal level?


Yes. sometimes I just Yabba Dabba do.


Ever feel like calling the ACLU on Geico for “so easy a caveman could do it?”


Definitely. My caveman blood starts to boil and I consider a civil lawsuit every time.


civil lawsuit

As is the caveman way.