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All rights reserved. - Site ID: 27392425 - Markdown version: append .md to any URL - Total sections: 10 ## Site Structure - [Life](https://percolately.com/life/index.md): (8057 posts; HTML: https://percolately.com/life; RSS: https://percolately.com/feeds/life.rss) - [Animals](https://percolately.com/life/animals/index.md): (778 posts; HTML: https://percolately.com/life/animals; RSS: https://percolately.com/feeds/life/animals.rss) - [Family](https://percolately.com/life/family/index.md): (12200 posts; HTML: https://percolately.com/life/family; RSS: https://percolately.com/feeds/life/family.rss) - [Parenting](https://percolately.com/life/parenting/index.md): (3711 posts; HTML: https://percolately.com/life/parenting; RSS: https://percolately.com/feeds/life/parenting.rss) - [Food](https://percolately.com/life/food/index.md): (1708 posts; HTML: https://percolately.com/life/food; RSS: https://percolately.com/feeds/life/food.rss) - [Health & Safety](https://percolately.com/life/health-safety/index.md): (3258 posts; HTML: https://percolately.com/life/health-safety; RSS: https://percolately.com/feeds/life/health-safety.rss) - [LGBTQ](https://percolately.com/life/lgbtq/index.md): (485 posts; HTML: https://percolately.com/life/lgbtq; RSS: https://percolately.com/feeds/life/lgbtq.rss) - [Weddings](https://percolately.com/life/weddings/index.md): (986 posts; HTML: https://percolately.com/life/weddings; RSS: https://percolately.com/feeds/life/weddings.rss) - [Work](https://percolately.com/life/work/index.md): (1541 posts; HTML: https://percolately.com/life/work; RSS: https://percolately.com/feeds/life/work.rss) - [Relationships](https://percolately.com/life/relationships/index.md): (8863 posts; HTML: https://percolately.com/life/relationships; RSS: https://percolately.com/feeds/life/relationships.rss) ## Recent Content --- ### Woman Changes Password To Shared Wi-Fi After Neighbor Fails To Pay Their Share For Months **Published:** October 21, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/woman-changes-password-reddit/.md Splitting bills with other people may seem like a good idea on paper. Who doesn't love to save money? And splitting bills can save people a ton. The problem is, oftentimes, some people don't honor the payment agreement. This leads to tons of trouble. Redditor Recent_Chemical_3231 wanted to share her experience and get feedback, so she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. She asked: "AITA for changing the WiFi name and password so my neighbors can’t use it anymore?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "I am a 26-year-old F living in a complex apartment with my 29-year-old fiancé." "We’ve been living here for 3 years, and everything has been going great." "Unfortunately, our internet started constantly failing, so we had to upgrade our plan." "After the upgrade, we had to get a new password because it was required whenever you upgraded." "That’s when my 50-year-old male neighbor asked if we could start sharing the internet and split the cost." "I agreed because there were three people and there were two of us, so I thought it was fair." "For the first and second month, they paid on time. " "After that, they started paying on and off, but I didn’t really mind because the internet wasn’t that good anyway." "After about six months of having constant internet problems and basically no improvement in the connection, I decided to change providers to a better and more expensive one." "As soon as the old internet was disconnected, I received a text from my neighbour’s 20-year-old daughter..." “'Hi there! I hope all is well. This is… your next-door neighbor! I just wanted to ask if everything is okay with the WiFi. I see that it has not shown up or has been changed for quite some time now. Maybe my dad misunderstood you, and there was a mishap with the communication regarding the payment.'" "'I was wondering if we would be able to split the monthly payment again, as I am also home alone and have no way of communicating with my parents or using my phone day to day (data is quite expensive if used daily). My dad is not at home at the moment but can and will pay you as soon as he is home tomorrow, if that is alright.'" "'Thank you so much. Have a wonderful evening” "I replied... 'Hi …, I hope you’re doing well. Yes, the old WiFi wasn’t working well, so we got a new one from...'” "Since May of this year, they have only paid twice towards the new internet. It is now October." "So, on October 1st, I decided to change the WiFi name and password, which automatically disconnected their phones and devices." "About two hours later, the 50-year-old man came to my door with his wallet in his hand, asking how much they owed and whether they could pay me right then because the internet wasn’t working." "I knew exactly why the internet wasn’t working for them." "I simply replied, 'Yeah, I know. We haven’t paid it yet, so the provider shut it down. I’ll let you know how much you owe.'” "It has now been two days, and I haven’t gotten back to him." "Honestly, I don’t intend to." "If they had been honest and said, 'Look, we can’t afford it right now, but we really need the internet,' that would be one thing." "What pisses me off is that we had a verbal/written agreement, and they simply didn’t honor it." "They continued using the internet knowing that they hadn’t paid their share." The OP was left to wonder: "So now I’m wondering: AITA for changing the WiFi name and password and cutting them off?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole. "NTA for that, but YTA for how you handled it." "I'd at least have had a conversation when they missed the first payment, and then after that, you could have just said, 'Hey, sorry, it's not working out. If you want internet, you'll have to pay for it yourself,' then changed the network." ~ JackTradesMasterNone "I don't think they handled it too badly." "Yeah, a bit of a d*ck move, but once the neighbors stopped paying after month one, then two, then they find out they have no internet in October." "It's kind of safe to assume that if you stop paying for the service, that the service will end." "That's kind of how things work." "A 50-year-old man should be able to figure this out and purchase his own internet service." ~ ApprehensiveCut9809 "Hard disagree with this assessment." "Original agreement was something OP never should have agreed to, but anything that happened after months of no payment is the neighbor’s fault." "Suggesting that OP needed to handle it with more grace is wild." "The neighbor knowingly took advantage, then came crying when the consequences of their actions caught up to them." "NTA IN ANY WAY." ~ Tuna5150 "Just saying it is possible that your second internet sucked because your neighbor connecting all his household’s devices to your wifi slowed your devices down." "Maybe even your first since the neighbor approached you immediately after you changed passwords (probably locking him out)." ~ DogsNCoffeeAddict "NTA, and it is also a terrible idea to split your internet with anyone except your immediate family." "Anything that is accessed or downloaded is your legal liability." "Also, you have no way of knowing who these people are giving the internet to." "I don't feel a need to subsidize internet for neighbors." "Most phones can act as a hotspot for Wifi - my iPhone does this, and I have used it a few times when my Wifi from my ISP is out for a bit." "ETA, I think if someone has your Wifi password and access, it is much easier for them to hack your computer data." ~ Jujulabee "Are people really this passive?" "A text the day the payment is past-due: 'Sorry, you've missed the wifi payment; you are removed from permissions." "2nd failure to pay on time will void our agreement." "The bill is due when it is due." "Your neighbor is a cheapskate, and you need to stop being a doormat." "NTA, but I'm so annoyed at OP." ~ desertboots "NTA. Also, your internet might have sucked because you were sharing it." "Internet bandwidth is like a pie." "The more people you're sharing it with, the smaller you have to cut the slices." "It sounds like you have no idea what they were doing with it, or how much of it they might have been utilizing at any given time." ~ Korrin "NTA, I've been there, done that with a similar situation." "I lived in the downstairs apartment of a duplex with an ex that gave the password to the upstairs neighbor." "I didn't mind at all; she was a single mom with 3 kids." "We hardly noticed a difference in speed at first, but it would be worse at times." "My ex did talk to her, and she assured him that it was only a computer, Xbox, and her phone connected." "My ex and I ended the relationship; it was mutual on very good terms." "After he moved out, I noticed my internet slowly getting worse." "I got into the wifi router and noticed 13 devices connected, 9 of which weren't mine." "I changed the password immediately, and my internet problems stopped." "By that time, she had already turned into an awful neighbor, so I didn't feel bad in the least." ~ LittleMissRawr78 "NTA. You were beyond nice letting them use it for free for several months, and even for agreeing to split it in the first place, although I wouldn't have advised that." "The fact that they only came to you with an offer of payment after they were disconnected feels ingenious." "I honestly wonder what their reaction would have been if you had tallied the amount of the last several months, or if he was just expecting to split it again going forward for however long he decided to pay." "Some routers have the ability to hide the broadcast signal, so wifi searches from devices not connected to it simply cannot see it." "I'd see if yours has this ability. It sucks when we misjudge someone's character, more so when it is to our detriment. " "Chalk it up to a learning experience." ~ raya_sun "That is absolutely insane to even allow a neighbor that isn’t your immediate family to share your WiFi information to supply their household with a network." "Being on the same network as someone else, they have access to everything in your house." "They can see all of your appliances, TVs, printers, phones, if you have a smart door lock, your wifi cameras, anything connected to that network". "If it were anyone who knew what they were doing, they could have done some malicious stuff without you even knowing." ~ WILD__CARD "This is stupid." "If you can sign up for different providers, so can they." "Let them have their own Internet service." "You are opening yourself up to all kinds of liability by sharing service." "What if they download illegal torrents?" "What if they download C S M?" "Don’t do that to yourself. NTA" ~ IolausTelcontar "NTA. You’re not their I S P , you’re their neighbor." "They stopped paying consistently months ago, so changing the password and ending the arrangement is completely reasonable." "And honestly, you don’t even need to tell them what they owe." "You can just tell them the Wi-Fi is no longer being shared." ~ MildMeringue "NTA. They broke the agreement, and thus it is void. It's unfortunate, but an easily preventable problem had they taken the time to speak with OP." "Instead, they just stopped paying and hoped that OP would continue supporting their family." ~ Beanz4ever Reddit is with you, OP. Your neighbors can get their own internet. You were more than generous trying to help them out. --- ### Parent 'Disgusted' After Husband Won't Help Them Retrieve Non-Verbal Autistic Son From Neighbor's Pool **Published:** October 21, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/son-neighbor-pool-reddit/.md Looking after a child takes a village. Every day can be an obstacle course. They often require constant supervision. That is why an extra layer of stress can add up when loved ones refuse to help. Redditor u/latchkeytwin found herself in a dilemma regarding her husband's lack of action, so she turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback. Like AITA, the AITAH subreddit lets posters ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. She asked: "AITAH for being disgusted with my partner after he refused to go into a neighbor’s pool to retrieve our eloping autistic child?" The original poster (OP) explained: "My non-verbal autistic child wandered into a neighbor’s pool after eloping." "I called my husband for assistance because my son weighs nearly as much as I do, and I can no longer lift him." "My husband arrived, began shouting at me, and argued he was free from blame because he regularly checks the locks." "When my child would not leave the pool, my husband insisted we review security footage to identify who left the door unlatched, stating that 'whoever left it unlocked should have to go in.'” "He had already climbed over the locked gate and stood beside the water, placing him in a position to step in and grab our child right away." "Despite being there, he refused on 'principle' and demanded I enter instead." "I reviewed the footage and found my 14-year-old had left the door unlatched." "Because it was not his fault, my husband still declined to enter the water." "I had to climb over and wade fully clothed into the neighbor’s pool to retrieve my child safely." "This is the third pool elopement in a month, and I have retrieved my child each time." "The previous instance occurred three years ago, when my husband did enter the pool to retrieve our son." "He mentioned this event, claiming it is never his fault, though he was the one who found him and went in." "After returning home, my husband shouted at my 14-year-old, accusing her of ignoring her sibling’s safety." "When I said I was disgusted by his conduct and that a real man/father would have jumped in immediately regardless of who unlocked the door, he accused me of pushing 'bullsh*t.'” "Later, he sent a text offering a partial apology for blaming me at first, but he maintained his reasoning: defending why he did not go in, continuing to place blame entirely on my 14-year-old, and demanding consequences for her." "Was I wrong to expect that he should have been the one to jump into the pool right then and there, or am I being old-fashioned and sexist in thinking that it’s a man/father’s duty?" The OP was left to wonder: "AITAH" Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here... for the most part. "I used to work for a great organization (YAI) that has residential group homes that were safe spaces and run very well." "I would strongly consider something like this because it sounds like both of you are reaching your breaking point, and it's only a matter of time before something serious happens to your son." "Take a step back from the situation and think about how you would react if a friend told you they left their disabled son in their neighbor's pool to review security footage to find out whose fault it was." "You would think that was insane." "The level of stress you're both constantly in is skewing your judgment to the point that it's putting your son in danger and causing liability issues for your neighbors." ~ CleopatraCeline "This. You are not a bad parent for needing extra help outside of the home." "You didn't ask for or prepare for this." "You're doing a great job, but you need a break. It's ok to ask for help." ~ PoetMaterial3519 "👆👆👆 OP, you should highly consider this." "Your son, while unaware, continues to commit an actual crime that is putting the neighbors in a very difficult situation." "You're not really seeing this side of things because you and the rest of your family are super overconsumed and overwhelmed and tired." "As someone else pointed out, you both chose to look at security cameras instead of going to your son while he was committing a crime." "If anything, you should have been at the pool talking to your son instead of just waiting on your husband." "You should also buy an automatic latch for your safety and your neighbor's." "I'm sure they are very over this as well." ~ StandardAd239 "My thought too was it sounds like both parents are burnt out with caregiver fatigue, which I definitely don't blame them for." "Perhaps family counseling could be good for the parents and even the 14-year-old, as it sounds like this situation has put a lot of additional stress on her as well." ~ zethic "He doesn't sound like a very safe person or good father. NTA." "Personally, I would do some hard thinking about this relationship." ~ trippyhippie573 "OP, if the potential for disaster is this great, I highly recommend installing a commercial maglock/visitor access system, like the kind used by many businesses." "That way, your doors lock by default, and the key fob is the only way to access the door." "It’s a bit pricey, around $600 for a system, and you will have to get used to having your key fob attached (retractable attachment is ideal because you can just attach it to your belt/waistband), but it can be extremely effective if you have a high-risk situation in which serious harm can result from failing to lock a door." ~ Responsible-Sun2494 "Absolutely." "It shouldn’t matter who left the gate unlocked in that moment." "Their child needed help, and there was a capable parent already beside the pool who could have acted immediately." "The fact he focused on blame instead is a major reason to seriously reconsider the relationship." ~ Vieorra-Lasser3K "Before you judge the father too harshly, this is a very common response after years of caring for a severely autistic child." "The rates of anxiety and mood disorders and suicide are elevated for everyone in a household with a severely autistic member." "OP seems like they are in denial about the situation." "Using scare quotes when the neighbors called her son combative and then immediately describing combative behavior really calls the entire narrative into question." ~ Witty_Ad_898 "NTAH, I find that really bizarre that he would choose to argue with you in that moment." "Boils down to the child being too big/strong for you to engage with like that, and it’s equally his responsibility as a father." "Who left an escape route and how that can be fixed in future is immaterial to handling the immediate problem of getting the kid back onto your property." ~ OrdinarySun484 "I'm curious what the neighbors, whose pool the kid keeps getting in uninvited, think about all this." "What have they said?" "I can't imagine they're unaware, considering how many times this has happened." "If the child gets into trouble in the pool on their property, that's a massive problem for the neighbors." "Even besides the danger and liability, I'd be straight up incensed that my neighbors keep letting their kid get in my pool without my permission." "ESH for fussing over whose turn it is to fish the kid out of a pool on someone else's property." "The child needs to be safer, and you owe the neighbors a sincere apology, and not letting it happen again." ~ Inevitable_Pie9541 "ESH. You’re going to get a ton of comments telling you this man ain’t sh*t and to go see a divorce lawyer, and while that may ultimately be true, I see an overtaxed family who is doing a poor job of managing a high special needs child who is becoming more capable of eloping and not handling it well." "Your husband should have helped, but not because it’s a 'man’s job' (TF is that), but because that’s what parents do." "You clearly are capable, as you have retrieved him multiple times this month." "You guys need therapy, supports, and a better safety plan for your special needs child." ~ ste1071d OP came back to chat... "This last incident was the second time my son eloped/wandered/escaped into the neighbor’s pool." "It’s an above-ground pool, and my son is quite tall." "He was not in danger of drowning." "We do have alarms, and I literally ran behind him after getting the alert." "I almost caught him, but he is fast! " "Our son is almost a teenager, quite large for his age, and swims multiple times per week." "The last elopement before these last three was over 3 years ago." "We recently changed his medications, and we think that is contributing to the elopement behavior." "I have added more locks." "I’m concerned about trespassing and upsetting neighbors." "The first time he went into the neighbor’s pool, they called the police and reported him as autistic and 'combative' because he refused to leave the pool." "The police were actually great, but that’s not always the case." "I immediately went into the pool to get him out, but it takes two people, since he fights to stay in the pool." "The other incident, I was by myself, and I had a hard time getting him out of the pool because he actively fought me." "I am also not a good swimmer and miscalculated the depth of the pool and went under." "I was gasping for breath, panicked, but I managed to get him to the side where another adult helped me pull him out." "My husband knew this…" This is a tough situation, OP. Sorry that it seems like such a high-stress situation. Family counseling may also be a good idea. Finding ways to cope with this behavior could help the relationship. --- ### Woman Called Out For Giving Baby With Dirty Diaper Back To Its Mom Rather Than Changing It Herself **Published:** October 21, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/change-baby-diaper-reddit/.md Every now and then, we may feel inclined to pitch in, even when no one asks. Even if we'd rather not, we still go through with it because it's the right thing to do. That being said, no one should feel obligated to perform such gestures. Nor should anyone expect them either. Redditor halloweencupcake15 was recently at a family gathering. When she found herself in a sticky situation, the original poster (OP) reminded the individual that a usual duty of theirs needed fulfilling. This alert did not sit well with the person, who wondered why the OP didn't simply do it herself. Concerned they should have stepped in, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole". (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors: "AITA for bringing the baby to their mom instead of looking after it by myself?" The OP explained why she felt that changing a dirty diaper was not her responsibility: "I (20's F) was visiting my partner's family a few days ago for an early Thanksgiving celebration." "For context, we've been together about 20 months now." "He comes from a large family, and has plenty of young nieces and nephews as a result." "There were eight children under the age of three at this dinner." "We were hanging out with some of the little ones, and one of them needed to be changed." "The supplies were close to me, but I didn't think it was my responsibility to handle it - and my boyfriend was nap-trapped by a newborn, so he couldn't either." "I took the kid over to their mom ('Paige' let's call her) and told her they needed a change." "She wasn't doing anything when I brought the baby over, just talking to another relative." "Paige stared at me and was like, 'You had the stuff right beside you. You don't know to change a baby?'" "I explained that I do, I just didn't think this was my responsibility." "She told me that 'there are eight babies and toddlers running around here' and that 'everyone has to help out eventually, or nothing will ever get done'." "Paige changed her own kid, but handed them back to me immediately afterward and proceeded to give me a look for not doing it myself." "AITA for bringing the baby to their mom instead of looking after it by myself?" Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**Hole for refusing to change the baby's diaper. Everyone agreed that, considering the soiled baby was not only not hers, but not even a member of her own family, it was absurd that anyone should have expected her to change their diaper: "NTA." "That’s not your baby." "That baby isn’t even the baby of your family member, or the baby of like, your best friend or something." "Frankly I think it’d be more strange if you automatically decided it was your responsibility and changed the baby of this person you barely know without asking."- Appropriate-Value54 "NTA." "I have five kids, and while I would always appreciate someone helping out, I would never 'expect' it or make someone feel badly about not wanting to change a diaper."- Theresnoneedtopoint "NTA." "Sorry but I’m never going to change a baby unless it’s previously discussed or I’m babysitting and therefore it’s definitely my responsibility." "Imagine how this situation could’ve gone if you had changed the baby and the mom didn’t want you to?" "I would’ve done the same thing as you."- Curious_Contract2172 "Maybe it’s cultural, but I would find it extremely weird if you HAD changed the baby." "This isn’t a baby you know well or the baby of someone you are close to." "NTA, at all." 'That mom is entitled and weird."- forgetmeknotts "Absolutely NTA." 'I have had lots of babies, and I would NEVER expect someone else to change a dirty diaper." "The nerve!" "The audacity." "I would appreciate the help, but never assume someone else should take care of a full diaper."- Character_Log_5444 "NTA." "Didn't change diapers before I was a parent... still don't plan on changing diapers that aren't from my kid." "Parents are responsible for care for the kids."- LydiaStarDawg "NTA." "I don't know how much you like your boyfriend, but if all his family is this entitled, run while you still can." "I would've handed her the baby back, or put it in a chair or something and left."- Powerful-Gur-1632 "NTA." "I love being in Auntie Mode." "Baby upset or need changing?" "Back to mom or dad." "As a mom now, give me my baby to change!"- rpizzey "NTA." "Why would she expect to change a nappy when she’s right there!"- wreathand "The reaction would have been completely different if you were male." "You're NTA." "I would never assume a person I barely know would want me doing something like that." "What if their baby had sensitive skin or a rash and needed extra care?" "I would have no way of knowing, even with the right gender and lots of diaper experience."- featheredzebra "'Girl, why are you okay with a practical stranger touching your child's genitals?'" "Smh." "NTA."- WashawayWashbear "NTA." "I would have handed that baby right back and told her with that entitled attitude she wouldn't ever be getting my help." "And I love babies- I'm specifically an infant and toddler nanny; they're my specialized age group." "Why does this woman think that 'family gathering' means 'free childcare'?" "Eww." "Don't have kids if you're just going to foist their care off onto other people at every opportunity!" "Especially people you hardly know." "Wtf." "She is a huge AH." "She is trying to 'come down on you hard" immediately so you never feel like you can question the fact that she foists her kids off onto other people." "Nope. I'd tell her outright that her attitude is gross."- WildRaspberryPatch "NTA." "You weren’t there to babysit."- Katz3njamm3r "NTA." "You are helping out by watching the kids; changing them should be up to the parents."- Flimsy-Brick-9426 "NTA." "I'd be grateful for the break and happy to do the nappy change."- CuriousSeppy "NTA." "Not your baby, not your responsibility."- jinxdrain "No." "If anything, it's not appropriate." "I would never expect someone to change my baby's diaper." "NTA." "Even my own father asked if he could change my son, because he was soaked and I was napping."- LokiLadyBlue "NTA." "Seriously kids are their parents' responsibility, and it’s so annoying when people do not admit that."- Rosemary_017 "NTA." "Not your baby." "Not your poop to deal with." "Literally." "Mother is effing entitled." "Don't care that there are 500 toddlers running around." "As long as I did not birth or adopt any, they ain't mah responsibility." "Unless I am being paid for childcare duties." "Easy peasy ham and cheesy."- Excellent-Egg7461 "That exact same mother would shame you for changing without permission as well, NTA."- melancholanie "Hand it right back." "NTA at all."- Honest_Cause1477 "NTA." "She is incredibly entitled to assume you’d change a diaper." "She could check in to see if in the future you’d be comfortable doing so, but she has NO right to expect it." "She’s an AH."- Snoo58504 "NTA." "Paige is lazy and comes over so she can get other people to take care of her kids for her."- TheRoadkillRapunzel "Heck no where did you sign up for free daycare duties?" "NTA."- HelicopterFunny3240 "NTA." "I’m honestly surprised because I’ve found it way more common for parents lately to actually be upset at the thought of someone outside the family changing their child." "Obviously they know you, but you’re still kinda a stranger to the kid." "It could be a gendered thing, but if anything I’d be grateful that someone didn’t want to overstep by changing my helpless child who is going to be totally naked and vulnerable." "I’m not saying changing a baby is sexual or creepy, but you can never assume that every person you know is a safe person to leave alone with a naked and vulnerable child."- Kubuubud "NTA." "There may be eight babies and toddlers running around there, but none of them are yours." "When you have a kid, you'll be responsible for changing its diaper, just like she's responsible for changing her own kid's diaper."-SomeoneYouDontKnow70 "NTA." "Who's to say that if you HAD changed the diaper, maybe the mom would have freaked out because you don't have that deep relationship yet." "You played it safe, and we're right to do so."- Tinkertailorartist The "you were right there" logic isn't exactly unsound, depending on the circumstances. Changing a dirty diaper, however, is not one of those circumstances. If there's anything that causes alarm in this situation, it's that any parent could so comfortably dismiss their child's care and well-being onto someone they barely know. --- ### Lesbian Cuts Ties With Religious Roommate Who 'Fundamentally Disagrees' With Her Sexuality **Published:** October 21, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/cut-ties-roommate-reddit/.md We don't always have to agree with our friends on everything. Indeed, sometimes we find ourselves staying tied to certain friends despite fundamental differences of opinion. Of course, some differences are harder to overcome than others. Most often when religion and/or politics come into play. Redditor Robustburritou seemed to be getting along with her roommate. Until the original poster (OP) realized that her roommate was morally opposed to an important aspect of her life. While the OP's roommate tried to remain friends, the OP didn't see a way for that to work out. Concerned she might have been unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITAH). Unlike the similar 'Am I The A**Hole' (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Voting acronyms aren't required, and no final judgment is declared. The OP asked fellow Redditors: "AITAH for telling my homophobic roommate that I don’t want to be friends anymore?" The OP explained why she didn't think she could remain friends with her roommate: "So… I moved into my flat three weeks ago and live with this girl from South Carolina who is very Christian." "I’m from the UK and she’s moved here for uni." "This is super fine, I’m also religious, but she’s very fundamentalist, and I’m very gay." "Overall, she has been lovely, very welcoming, and we’ve been hanging out and enjoying each other's company." "HOWEVER…Every time I mentioned my gf, I noticed a slight change of energy.. something was.. off." "Every time she would come into my room and sit with me on my bed, she would look at my wall… the wall filled with pictures of me and my gf." "There was a slight weird vibe, but I thought I was overthinking it, as she was so lovely to me and treated me like anyone else." "However, I could not put up with this awkward silence anymore." "Four beers in, in my flatmate’s (let’s call him Rob) room, unable to keep my worries to myself, I said… 'diva, are you homophobic?'" "She went on to explain how God made Adam and Eve and just went on about this bible story as if it was the be-all and end-all of life." "I was obviously upset and talked about how God makes everyone in his image and that he chose us to be how we are etc." "She then described how we are supposed to procreate, and implied that gay people cannot do this and that if they did it goes against what god intended." "I wonder what she thinks about infertile people." "I just sat there in shock, and Rob also seemed very shocked and sat there in silence." "She then goes on to explain how she believes that gayness is due to a mental illness, or a childhood trauma which resulted in this." "This to me means that she believes that being gay is a consequence of a negative experience." "Which I do not agree with at all." "She told me she still wanted to be friends and that was it for the night." "Rob hugged me and reassured me that she's not used to it, and perhaps she would develop as a person during her time in Oxford and become more open-minded." "I’ve spoken to my gf about this and she’s said things like even if I don’t feel upset about what she thinks of me, if she thinks this then she’s likely racist and/or transphobic, and questioned whether or not I’d want to be friends with someone who fundamentally disagrees with a lot of my friends’ existence." "A few days go by, and she’s asking me to hang out at least once or twice every day; I have been busy, so unable to." "She has also been telling me that she misses me." "Today she messaged me asking to hang out; I responded that I was busy and couldn’t." "Then all of a sudden I got a burst of anger and disappointment and texted her explaining that I was uncomfortable being around someone who fundamentally disagrees with who I am." "She responded saying that she should be able to have an opinion, and that sexuality doesn’t make up my whole personality and that she really likes me anyway." "I felt really uncomfortable with this response." "No, my sexuality is not my whole personality, however, I am gay, I’m in love with a woman and intend to spend the rest of my life with this woman… so.. how can I be friends with someone who disagrees with my life?" "I have responded saying that basically I’m too uncomfortable to be friends with her because I’ve put up with enough homophobia in my life and don’t want to choose to deal with it." "This is really upsetting to me because I really liked her; however, morally... I just can’t be friends with her." "But, I’m wondering if I should just get over this small part of her personality because I do really like her and don’t want to be branded an 'oversensitive woke' because of my instinct to cut her out of my life." "So, AITA?" Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed The Reddit community agreed that the OP should not feel obligated to remain friends with her roommate. Everyone thought that this was not about differing views of opinions or beliefs, but that the OP's roommate seemed determined to make the OP feel "less than," which should never be tolerated: "Ahhh yes southern Baptist." "I have coworker like that." "I ignore when it gets to that convo." "Not quite possible for you." "NTA."- LahngJahn69420 "There's no way to have a healthy friendship with someone who actively hates a major part of your life." "This would ALWAYS be there." "Every interaction you have with her will be shaped by her belief that you are either immoral, or have mental issues." "Do you really want to be friends with someone like that?" "What happens when you get married to you SO, or even just move in together." "Would you invite her to the wedding?" "Would you invite her into the home you and your partner share?" "Not to mention that at some point she would likely try to 'save' you."- Spiteweasel "Ain't nobody got time for homophobes in 2026." "Save your breath and move on without her."- lurkerperson11 "NTA - she’s overly nice because that’s southern culture." "It’s not genuine kindness." "She’ll smile at you while backhandedly calling you an abomination." "No f*cking thanks." "Also, proud of you for standing up for yourself and knowing her bigotry is not your problem to fix."- n0thangchew "NTA." "Just cut her off." "You can find somewhere else to live."- Old-Bowler4150 "NTA." "You don’t have to be friends with people who make you feel invalidated." "Now, it is not your responsibility to be the ambassador for The Gays, but something to think about is that a lot of people like your roommate have the beliefs they have because they haven’t been around people different from them enough to really think of them as people instead of ideas." "That’s one reason why college-educated people tend to be more liberal leaning than those who have no college education." "Going to college exposes them to people of all kinds and humanizes them." "Right now, this Southern American bible thumper is at the beginning of her journey into 'hey, the people who are different from me are actual, real people' journey." "You don’t have to guide her along that journey, but I hope this context helps you see that there’s a decent chance she’ll respect who you are by the time y’all graduate and not worry that you’re doomed to be surrounded by ignorance and bigotry forever and always."- disembodiedstring "'You’re right. My sexuality doesn’t make up my whole personality. Unfortunately for you, being a hateful, intolerant sh*tbag makes up all of yours. Never contact me again'." "NTA."- your-mom04605 "You should ask her why it’s Southern Baptist and see how she responds." "*the answer is racism." "The schism was b/c the Southern Baptists were totally ok with slavery."- Belaerim "NTA, she is viewing your life from a steamy window with every chance to open it." "Don't let her biased view dictate your life and feelings on the situation."- G36C_cannonballer "You made the right choice." "NTA."- UnderstandingEqual84 "No you are not the AH." "You have every right to not allow people into your circle who do not understand or respect you as you are." "She said awful things about gay people, she can now live with the consequences of her words." "Best of luck to you & your girlfriend."- Colbysfan1104 Not all roommates have to be friends, even if it does make the living situation easier. However, living with someone who is not only not a friend but who looks down on you as a person might not be tenable. Sadly meaning that the OP might want to consider finding new living accommodations. --- ### College Student Asks If It's 'Needy' To Expect Boyfriend To 'Put In Effort' To Go On Proper Dates **Published:** October 20, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/needy-expect-boyfriend-reddit/.md Dating isn't for the faint of heart. Finding romance can be a lifelong journey. And when people find people, they want to hope for the best. But sometimes, not everyone is giving their best. Redditor u/Head-Spread8831wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. They asked: "AITA for being 'needy' and wanting my bf (20 M) to put in actual effort?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "I (19 F) keep going back and forth on whether I'm a needy brat or whether my standards are normal." "I'm a sophomore in college." "I met my boyfriend at the start of last year through my best friend." "He's a year ahead of me and in a religious frat (not a stereotypical one; the guys are genuinely sweet and I love them)." "We started dating in April, and it was awesome." "We knew we'd be apart for the summer, so we spent a ton of time together, basically a month of sleepovers." "We were so happy." "Some context on me, because I think it matters." "I've been in a few serious relationships, some over two years." "I'm a people pleaser and the maternal one in every friend group, the girl who takes care of everyone." "I also know I'm objectively attractive (bright blue eyes, long brown hair, the whole thing)." "I'm not trying to sound cocky; I just don't usually have to beg for attention, which is why this has been so humbling." "We're low-text, 2-3 texts a day and 2-3 hangouts a week, and I genuinely like that." "I'm not clingy." "But here's the loop we're stuck in." "This year my best friend and my boyfriend live in rooms next to each other in the frat house, so I'm over there a lot." "I walk over alone." "I hang out with him and his friends." "Later we hook up." "Then I walk home alone." "He has never walked me home." "He almost never comes to my place." "He's never hung out with me and my friends (I don't have a huge friend group, but I still make the effort)." "And we have never been on a real date." "The one time we tried, we ended up sitting next to his friends at a sports game, which is funny, but it kind of sums us up." "A couple of weeks ago, we, me, him, and one of his friends were walking to class from his house, and he walked next to his friend the entire time, not me." "I was right there." "I get it, talk to your friends, but he lives with them, and I barely get him alone." "We've been alone together maybe twice this semester." "We have never gone anywhere, only grabbed food on campus." "And when I try to cuddle at night, he turns over and says, 'stop.'" "I'm lying there like... okay, goodnight, I guess." "The part that really hurts is that at camp he promised me things wouldn't change when we got back." "I felt like I was finally seeing who I really was, and then it all faded." "Last night I told him over text that his lack of effort was becoming a problem." "He apologized (he always does) and said literally nothing has changed from our conversations, and that it's unfair for me to expect so much when we'd only seen each other 4-5 times that week." "He also said he's been in a rough place and doesn't know what else I want from him." "He said, 'I want it to be different' and 'I love you,' but also that he's not sure if the relationship is good for either of us right now and doesn't know if breaking up would be a good idea long-term." "What I want isn't much: one planned thing a week, a date or a sleepover where we watch a show, and a call at the end of the day asking how my day was." "That's it." The OP was left to wonder: "So...AITA?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole. "Sounds like you are just low-effort booty for him. Sorry." ~ dido_meditatur "Exactly. If you aren’t going on dates, you have to go to his place, and then he hangs out with his friends until it’s time for sex, he’s not your boyfriend." "You’re his booty call." "And as a boyfriend, the bare minimum you should expect is dates, walking with you, and walking you to your car/dorm." "If a guy won’t even make sure you get home safely on campus, then he’s not a good friend and absolutely not a good boyfriend." "Your looks are irrelevant. " "Every girl deserves to have a real boyfriend if that is what she wants, but that means recognizing when that’s not what the guy wants." ~ JustKindaHappenedxx "NTA... you can break up for any reason, and you have plenty of them." "He is clearly relying on friends and frat for support and only views you as a convenience." "The hot/cold is ironically keeping you stuck longer." "It’s a new year and time for you to spread your wings." ~ mutable_type "NAH. He's not an AH for not 'making more effort.'" "You're not an AH for wanting more effort." "Objectively, one real date per week is not asking a lot for a 6-year marriage, let alone a 6-month relationship." "He's not putting in more effort because he doesn't have to." "You're giving him everything he wants." "I suggest that you stop 'hanging out' at the frat." "You can do that all at once, or reduce to twice a week, and then once a week." "Try hanging out and then going home instead of hooking up (especially if he hasn't been attentive that evening)." "The point is, you need to make this about doing what you want instead of making sure he's happy." ~ 1962Michael "Sometimes things just don’t work out." "It's better to know now than to try to hang on for months more." "It could be he’s lost interest but wants to hold on to what he has." "Happens a lot." "Could be he’s bi or gay and attracted to one of his friends, but suppressing it?" "Happens a lot, too." "At this point you’re not getting your needs met, whatever the reason is." "NTA and stop threatening to break up and just do it." "You deserve someone who is a better match for you." ~ quats555 "Stop going to his place." "If he starts making an effort either to go to your place or to make dates, and reliably puts in the effort, then he's acting like your BF, and you can start going back to him if you want." "If he doesn't, he wasn't really acting like a boyfriend anyway; he was treating you like a booty call." ~ whenyajustcant "NAH, you're just not compatible." "It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, or him." "He's probably not ready for a relationship, busy with class, going through something, or self-conscious." "And you are ready for a deeper connection." "That's great." "But you won't find it with him." "It's not your problem to fix." "Time to move on. Begging for attention is beneath you." ~ zztopsboatswain "From what’s said here, NTA." "That being said, it could also be NAH." "It sounds like your boyfriend is going with what’s convenient to him: hangs out with friends and does activities that are on campus." "It was easier to give you focused attention during your sleepovers." "He may not be able or ready to put in the amount of effort you need, even if your requests are reasonable." "The big question is how you’re going to respond to his lack of effort." "If he can’t rise to the occasion and this is something you need, you’re not wrong to walk away." "If you decide you’ll hang in there and your desire for more time is more of a want than a need, it’s OK to hang in there and see where it goes." "Just… keep an eye on how that treatment is affecting you." "Please don’t let lack of effort translate to you thinking you aren’t worth the effort." "That’s a bad road to go down and gets harder to get off of." ~ Able_Pay6016 "NTA, but I don't think you guys are on the same page." "I'm reading, and it sounds like a Friends With Benefits situation." "Do both of you officially identify as boyfriend and girlfriend, or is it just unspoken and assumed?" "I'll be honest with you," "I was an as*hole in college, and I had multiple relationships like you described, and I made sure we didn't label each other as BF and GF." "At the time, I was extremely immature." "I had a serious girlfriend for 6 years from high school to UNI, and it got to the point where marriage was on the horizon, but I was scared to express my feelings; I just knew I wasn't ready for the commitment." "I ended the relationship as a result, as I wanted to experience dating others." "Then in college I did just that; I dated around, and I avoided women that were perfect matches for me because I didn't want to commit early." "After university, my lifestyle changed, and I was ready to settle down, and I happened to meet my wife, with whom I had so much in common, and after 2 years together we got married." "At your age, one thing I found when dating was that many women I dated also weren't looking for marriage on the horizon yet, and almost all of the women I dated wanted me to focus on school first and put them second." "They all wanted me to do well in school." "One woman I dated was the opposite and wanted me to drop everything for her every time, and if I said we can't see each other cause I wanted to go to a study group before midterms, she would throw a fit, and we would break up, and then I spent days having to try to get back in her good graces." "It was too much effort required." "I was a people pleaser, so I wanted her to be happy, and it did mentally drain me." ~ Ok_Fisherman8727 Reddit is with you, OP. Relationships require effort from all parties. Don't feel bad. But... he may not be the one. Good Luck. --- ### Redditor Upset After Wife Tries To Dictate What To Order At Celebratory Promotion Dinner So They Can Share **Published:** October 20, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/celebratory-promotion-dinner-reddit/.md There is a famous line from the TV show 'Friends.' Joey is out on a date with a woman, and she takes some of his French fries. It drives him insane, and he exclaims, "JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!!!" This is a familiar sentiment for many people. Redditor u/ImportantBroccoli466 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. They asked: "AITA for ordering what I want at a restaurant?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "My wife and I don't eat out all that often; when we do, it's usually for an occasion." "One of the things that invariably happens, however, is that when looking at the menu, she has the expectation that we have to agree on which main courses we order so we can share." "I don't mind sharing a bite or two, but she typically sees multiple dishes she would like, and so I am expected to order one of those and trade halfway through the meal so she can have it in addition to what she ordered." "I tend to lean more toward meat dishes, and she likes veg/fish." "This is fine, just not what I want." "So when I say 'I think I'll have steak,' she says, 'No, you should get the eggplant.'" "Queue argument, as I, for the 1000th time, remind her I'm not ordering for her." "This happened again tonight, celebrating a work promotion." "I chose prime rib, and she told me it didn't sound good." "I finally told her I didn't care if she wanted it or not; I did, and she should order what she wants. Period." The OP was left to wonder: "AITA for not agreeing to this ridiculous expectation?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole. "Well, you yourself call it ridiculous, so you already know the answer." "Talk it out with your wife." ~ Gabby_Craft "NTA. If you want to share dishes, that's fine." "But that means that both of you get to order whatever you each want, and then if the other wants to try it, fine." "It doesn't mean that you both can only order whatever you both might want. " "Your wife is selfish." "You should tell her maybe it's time she ordered something that YOU want for her dish." ~ Lazy-Restaurant-1979 "If I want prime rib and I'm told by my spouse to order eggplant - EGGPLANT?!?!?! - I might have to do the Reddit jump straight to divorce thing." "Just kidding... kind of..." "NTA, OP." ~ Glittering_Win_9677 "NTA. There’s a huge difference between sharing a bite and being forced to order a meal you don't want just so she can have two entrees." "She needs to order what she actually wants and let you enjoy your own food." ~ selizea "When I go out to eat with my family, I order a stupid amount of food because I want to try it all." "People can have a bite or two if they want, and I take it home for later." "I do not like to share food at all and never ask to have a bite of someone else’s." "I’ll give up something on my plate if I don’t like it, but that’s about it." "I raised my kid like this too - I ordered extra sides for her to try and took home leftovers because she wasn’t a big eater." "I want my own personal buffet." ~ V2BM "NTA. You're both adults." "Order what you each want." "Or at least talk before you order about whether you're getting your own dishes or sharing." ~ IzilDizzle "NTA. Next time, tell her what she wants doesn’t sound good and that she should get a second kind of meat so that you can try 2 different ones and she can have what she says." ~ lllollllllllll "NTA. You order what you want to eat." "She orders what she wants." "That's what 99% of couples do when they eat out." "You aren't required to share your meal, and she doesn't get to dictate what you order." "It's not fair to you if she picks two meals that she wants to try and you don't get to have a single item that you want." ~ Wild_Ticket1413 "NTA. Eating out should be something you both enjoy." "Ask her how she would feel if you dictated what she got to eat every time you went out." "If there are multiple items she would like to try, she can ask the server what they would recommend, or you can come back another time for her to try something different." ~ gfromk "NTA. What a ridiculous expectation every time you go out to eat." "If she wants something, then she should get that, but literally forcing you to choose something for yourself from her choices is insane." "You two need to talk about why she feels the need to control what you eat, and you aren't allowed a choice in the matter." ~ LilBoo2019TR "She’s being very selfish because that means you never get exactly what you’d like to eat." "My husband and I share food (bites) when we eat out, but we never require the other to automatically order something they'd eat." "NTA and tell her to stop acting entitled." ~ Mission_Breakfast548 "NTA. My wife and I always share food, but every time we order, we ask what the other person wants to eat." "Tell your wife to order two dishes if she wants the eggplant." ~ artoflife "NTA. Flip the script: order the prime rib and tell her to order ribs." "Perhaps that will make it clear to her how her behavior looks in reverse." ~ ModestWasp "NTA. Ugh, I hate the concept of sharing dishes." "You order what you want, and I’ll order what I want." "End of story." ~ Odd-Charity3508 "NTA, but you fu*ked up years ago by letting this happen the very first time." "Should have nipped this bud as soon as she first suggested it." ~ smish_my_oogie "My aunt used to do this when the family would go out to eat." "She wanted all nine of us to order different entrees, so she could taste around." "Always an argument with her!" ~ Sensitive_Garden3961 "You need to explain to your wife that since you don't go out to eat very often, you want to eat what you want to eat, not what she wants to eat, and you are not going to do it the way she wants to do it." "She just needs to accept that." ~ LdiJ46 "NTA. I love sharing dishes. If my partner and I agree on two dishes, we’ll share." "If I really want a pasta and he really wants a burger, we won’t share." "Sometimes I’ll ask to share, and he’ll tell me what he wants, and if it wasn’t on my radar, I’ll ask him for a bite or two." "I get where your wife is coming from because I love sharing, but it shouldn’t be a huge deal if you don’t want what she wants." ~ ExcitingFlamingo7798 "What an odd ask." "Remind your wife that she can try her second choice next time you go to this restaurant." "Heck, you could even offer to keep track of what she orders this time so she can try something else in the future. NTA." ~ fer_sure "NTA - People who dictate what others should eat are insufferable." "Unless you are on some diet that YOU decided to go on, not her deciding for you." ~ Remarkable_Dust3450 "NTA. The expectation is ridiculous." "But to mitigate it, talk about it before your next restaurant trip and let her know you will be ordering based on what you're in the mood for, not necessarily what she wants." ~ Embarrassed_Rope_281 "NTA. My husband and I will do this sometimes." "If we both think two dishes sound good, we'll each order one so we can try both." "That doesn't mean, however, that we're splitting them evenly." "We swap a bite or two, but we eat our own plates." "If this is something you've put your foot down about before and you keep reminding her that you don't want to share food, your wife is being selfish." ~ anonymoose_octopus "Just set boundaries." "I know a couple like this too, where the wife just wants to eat what she ordered, and the husband wants the best of both worlds." "For a while there she suffered through his half-meals, but after repeated conversations she got it through his head." "She orders what she wants, and if he really wants the second thing, he’ll get both for himself and take the rest home." ~ caffeinequeen24601 "NTA. You both should be ordering for your pleasure. " "She just has fomo and it's not fair that she uses you to make sure she has a lot of options, especially when none of those options are what you prefer to eat." ~ keesouth "NTA, but seriously, set a boundary; this is weird." "If she wants to try stuff or share, then occasionally go to buffets or family-style restaurants; otherwise, she can try something new whenever you go out." "Ordering multiple meals seems excessive, and expecting you to be the one to order what she wants to eat instead of you getting what you want is selfish." ~ Aggravating-Pear9760 "NTA. She needs to get over her decision paralysis and keep the other dishes in mind for the next time." "Or order all the dishes (she's paying, right???) and take home her leftovers." "Order what you want - it's YOUR meal, not hers." ~ Salt_My_Watermelon Reddit agrees with you, OP. Your wife needs to learn about food boundaries. She's a grown-up. She can eat her own meals. --- ### Bride Upset After Pregnant Sister-In-Law 'Overshadows' Her Wedding By Going Into Labor **Published:** October 20, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/pregnant-overshadowed-wedding-reddit/.md We've all experienced something beyond our control. Events that likely forced us to cancel or adjust plans we had been looking forward to. Frustrated as we may have been in the moment, we need to remind ourselves that this was no one's fault, but rather a force majeure. Unfortunately, some people can't help but hold a grudge. The daughter-in-law (DIL) of Redditor MarketingAromatic751 had a somewhat tense relationship with her daughter. An unexpected turn of events at the wedding of the original poster (OP)'s DIL didn't help. Indeed, the episode so fractured their relationship that the OP's DIL refused to attend her FIL's birthday party if the OP's daughter was attending. An ultimatum the OP had no interest in agreeing to, even telling her DIL to "get over it." Worried she may have gone too far, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors: "AITA for telling my DIL to get over her wedding being overshadowed by my daughter." The OP explained why she felt the need to put her DIL in her place: "This has been an ongoing issue." "Some background, my DIL ( I’ll call her Rebecca) and my daughter ( I’ll call her Jessie) don’t have the best relationship." "Their personality do not mesh well at all. Rebecca finds Jessie to be stuck up and Jessie finds Rebecca to be annoying." "I also think Rebecca is jealous of Jessie because there is a big money gap between them." "So they don’t like each other, but act civil in front of each other." "The issue, Rebeca and my son’s wedding was in early July. Jessie due date for giving birth was in early August." "The wedding was going fine, until Jessie‘s water broke and she needed to be rushed off to the hospital." "I went to the hospital, while my husband stayed at the wedding." "Jessie early birth completely overshadowed Rebecca/son’s wedding." "A lot of people were waiting on news about Jessie and the baby." "Especially since this is the first grandkid between the whole family." "Jessie deliver a healthy baby boy that night." "They have been arguing about it since." "Rebecca wants Jessie to apologize for overshadowing the wedding and Jessie refuses because it’s not like she planned on giving birth." "To get to the issue, my husband’s birthday is this weekend." "I called my DIL to ask about her allergies and whether the restaurant would be okay for her." "She asked if Jessie was coming, and I told her yes." "She then told me that neither she nor her husband (my son) would be there if Jessie was there." "I asked if she was serious, and she said she was." "I told her she needed to get over her wedding being overshadowed because someone went into labor." "I told her that this is ridiculous." "She called me a b*tch and told me I favor Jessie." "She is my kid that I raised and it’s not like she planned on an early birth." "I’m not going to uninvite Jessie to her dad’s birthday." "I am unsure if I should apologize. Or if I am the jerk here." Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed The Reddit community mostly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for not apologizing to Rebecca. Nearly everyone agreed that while Rebecca had every right to be frustrated, she needed to get over the fact that Jessie went into labor at her wedding, and agreed that banning Jessie from her own father's birthday party was an absurd demand: "NTA." "Did she expect your daughter to cross her legs and hold the baby in until midnight? " "Yeah, it happened." "She needs to grow up." "What does your son say about it?" "Is he a logical human?"- Winter_Childhood9186 "NTA." "She has a right to be annoyed that her wedding day didn't go according to plan, but everything else is ridiculous."- aeidon1789 "NTA." "Babies arrive when they arrive." "Daughter didn't have control of that, lol." "She called me a b*tch and told me I favor Jessie." "Uh, ya." "You favor YOUR DAUGHTER over your daughter-in-law." "That's normal!" "Is your DIL okay?" "LOL!" "One can be unhappy about a wedding day going off the rails, or one can turn events like this into an additional reason to celebrate." "DIL chose the former; that is her choice." "Requiring your daughter to apologize to her for something she had zero control over is ridiculous, lol."- IamIrene There were a few, however, who felt that Jessie could at least extend a branch, acknowledging that her birth may have taken attention away from Rebecca's wedding, and the OP shouldn't use the term "overshadowed", even though they still didn't condone Rebecca's behavior. "You also referring to it as being 'overshadowed' is part of the problem, so you telling her to 'get over being overshadowed' only escalated matters." "And yes, it's unreasonable to hold someone going into labor several weeks before they expected to against them." "It's possible to apologize for how things turned out without it being an admission of malicious intent." "There's no reason why Jessie can't say 'sorry, I didn't mean to detract from your wedding, and I'm sorry that happened. Obviously, going into labor early was not what I wanted, either'." "Boom." "Sincere 'apology' given." "Rebecca demanding an apology isn't any better." "They're both like small children." "And, as mentioned, you made things worse, as well." "ESH."- LeviathanLorb44 "ESH, I would venture a guess that this didn't come out of a vacuum." "There is clearly already a dynamic here."- TongueThruster69 Others felt there was important information that was missing, making it hard for them to make a determination: "Something doesn't seem to add up here so I'm going to say we need more INFO." "Of course you would favor your daughter over pretty much anyone, daughter-in-law included." "So it sounds like the issue might be you favor your daughter and her husband over your son and his wife." "You don't appear to like her, and neither does your daughter." "I can understand being frustrated and ultimately behaving 'badly' if you feel you constantly have to fight for your opinion to be heard, as its usually a 2 against 1 vibe." "You say Rebecca doesn't like your daughter because she finds her stuck up, and you blame this on her being jealous because of a big money gap." "On the other hand, Jessie doesn't like her because she's annoying." "Being annoying is a personality clash, being stuck up and rubbing your success/income in someone's face, objectively makes you an AH." "There's no way to know if this is Rebecca being dramatic and sensitive or if there is some truth it." "No, it is not your daughter's fault she went into labor at the wedding; I don't think she should have to apologize, but it still would have been nice to apologize for missing half the wedding." "However, depending on the dynamic, I think its less about an apology, and more about fighting to be seen/heard." "If Jessie always upstages her due to money, better clothes, better holidays, better house, better car etc, it is understandable Rebecca might have felt that her own wedding was an opportunity for her to be acknowledged, for her to be the 'centre of attention' and feel loved by her husband's family." "Again, nothing is Jessie's fault and an apology isn't required, but if she once again felt overshadowed and then once again felt her feelings were dismissed, it is easy to see why she has latched on to an apology for her wedding as a way of feeling valued." "Maybe she wants you to apologize for missing it, to show you value your son and his wife too." "She'll never have the first grandchild, and will likely see her anniversary overshadowed forever more." "It isn't hard to value someone and acknowledge their feelings, which is what i'm questioning is lacking here." "Does your son have stepchildren?" "Also, I would love to hear if your son also feels overshadowed by his sister, and that's why his wife spoke on his behalf, or if again this is just her being ridiculous." "If Rebecca is being unreasonable and everyone is lovely to her, then of course, NTA." "If this is a dynamic with more context built up over time, I'm more likely to go with ESH."- BlondeBimbo95 It does seem as if no one, including the OP, is really putting much effort into fixing Jessie and Rebecca's relationship. Nor can one really blame Rebecca for being upset that her wedding date was overshadowed. Even so, no one can plan a birth or the emotions that come with it. If Jessie could be the bigger person and apologize for the unfortunate timing, there's no reason Rebecca can't extend a branch herself. --- ### Maid Of Honor Sparks Drama After Booking Bachelorette Trip Without Consulting Bridal Party At All **Published:** October 20, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/moh-booking-trip-reddit/.md When someone is asked to be a bride-to-be's maid of honor, the distinction is, well, an honor. That said, it comes with a lot of responsibilities, which some people find daunting. Others, however, take the job in stride, and can't wait to get cracking on their duties. Sometimes, however, they forget that their primary duty is to ensure the bride is happy. Redditor Different_Stress_798 was recently alerted that her maid of honor (MOH) had planned her bachelorette trip. Nice as the gesture was, the announcement surprised the original poster (OP). It was an even bigger surprise to the rest of the OP's bridesmaids. When the OP expressed her and her bridesmaids' surprise at the trip, her MOH proved anything but understanding. Fearing she may have come off as ungrateful, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole Here" (AITAH). Unlike the similar 'Am I The A**Hole' (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Voting acronyms aren't required, and no final judgment is declared. The OP asked fellow Redditors: "My MOH planned my bachelorette without consulting with anyone else and is now mad at me I didn’t defend her. AITAH?" The OP explained why she didn't show instantaneous excitement about the bachelorette weekend her MOH had planned: "My MOH took it upon herself to plan my bachelorette trip without discussing it with any of my bridesmaids." "The place was one of the places I said I would possibly want to go, it’s a beachy island but doesn’t have tropical weather so it has cold/snowy winters, and warmer summers." "She booked it in the beginning of may which will be freezing there since it’s an island and will be spring time still." "She put it in the group chat, basically telling all my bridesmaids she booked it and here are the days, and said she paid for the Airbnb, so to send the money when they can." "One of the bridesmaids pushed back a little and said she wishes that the bridesmaids would have been communicated with for their input as well because what if those dates don’t work for someone and also the whole point of going to this place is that it’s a beachy vibe with pools and outdoor bars." "She asked if there was a way we could change the dates." "My MOH texted me separately and said 'u better check her before I do'." "She then responded in the group chat to her and said that she cleared everything with me and that it IS what I want." "Which, nothing was really cleared with me." "I was told 5 mins before it was sent in the group chat, after she had already booked it." "When she told me, I did say that the place was going to be cold, and I don’t think people are going to be able to make it if the dates weren’t discussed beforehand." "My MOH said 'damn, can’t you just say thank you and stop worrying about everyone else?! If they want to be there, they will. I planned this 8 months in advance so everyone has time to figure it out.” "My bridesmaid and MOH kind of went back and forth for a little in messages, and then I talked to my bridesmaid and she said she wasn’t trying to come off sh*tty at first; she just genuinely wished that any of it was communicated with them." "I responded privately to my MOH and said that I understand a little where she’s coming from about the communication and that I don’t think my bridesmaid was trying to come off sh*tty after speaking with her but her texts definitely seemed that way so I can understand why she got upset." "Now, my MOH is ignoring me." "I am almost 100% sure she is mad at me because I didn’t fully back her/defend her in the group chat and privately, and now I am just feeling like I am an ungrateful friend/bride." "She didn’t have to plan any of it, or put her money up front for it so I am appreciative of that, but I do wish she would’ve communicated with everyone else because everyone has lives/budgets/opinions." "AITAH?" Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community agreed that the OP should not have defended her MOH. Everyone agreed that the OP's MOH seemed to forget that a bachelorette weekend should be what the bride, not the MOH, wants, with many urging the OP to seriously consider whether she still wanted her to be her MOH: "NTA." "Is it your wedding or hers?" "Like for real."- BleepInTheBigCity "Demote her, seriously…"- Equivalent_Lemon_319 "You need to demote the MOH and take control of your own wedding." "Stop letting her speak for you." "So many of these MOH issues could be avoided if the bride would just TALK TO HER BRIDESMAIDS instead of letting some MOH-zilla control everything and make everyone miserable." "They're your friends and guests, not your ladies-in-waiting." "Get MOH out of the wedding party, she's awful."- the-mortyest-morty "NTA." "I've been involved in several bachelor parties." "Usually you try to talk to everyone first to make sure they can make it on that date." "It also helps workshop the ideas around where you're going and what you're doing." "She did none of this and just decided when and where on her own."- GlobiestRob "NTA." "You picked a sh*tty person to be your MOH." "Why did you do that?"- Lov3I5Treacherous "NTA." "You (She) can't plan a trip for people without consulting them!" "You are being put in a difficult position by your MOH, the person who is meant to have nothing in mind but what you want and shielding you from stress." "Instead, she's creating that stress." "A calm conversation might help, but it sounds like she isn't handling things well so far... does she like your bridesmaids?" "Has this surprised you or made you realize that actually this is totally in character for her to just do what she wants?"- 21stcenturycatlady "You don’t have to be that appreciative of this 'gesture'." "Just because someone did something they think was nice, you don’t owe them gratitude." "She did it all wrong and was rude to everyone, including you."- climbtheworldd "Let MOH be mad; she needs to learn from her actions lol she was way out of line."- moth-peach "NTA, who books for other people without checking if they can make it?"- Individual_You_6586 "A beachy place when the weather’s still cold?" "Why would anyone want to go there?" "And not checking dates and costs with the others is just arrogant."- FormerlyDK "NTA." "You have a super sh*tty MOH."- Professional_Run_506 "NTA." "I say this with love and respect; it is YOUR wedding, you are ALLOWED to push back on this. It doesn't matter how much she spent, she is spending it on an event that is meant to be for you specifically, to celebrate you on your special day, and then she did not consult you or the other bridesmaids on it." "Are there other places in the wedding (and in your life in general) where this MOH does things like this?" "Gestures that seem well-meaning but they make you uncomfortable, but because she was just trying to be 'nice' or 'helpful' you feel like you can't push back?"- epifauna__ "NTA." "Are you sure she isn't planning a trip she's always wanted under the guise of a bachelorette trip."- courtneyisfakeaf "God, your MOH sounds like a mean person, a bit of a bully, and exhausting." "NTA."- ParticularHappy6587 "NTA." "Is she always so self-centered?"- Prestigious_Elk353 "You really threw the bridesmaid under the bus there; your MOH is 100% in the wrong, and you are tiptoeing around trying to apologize for someone calling her out on her sh*tty behavior." "The minute she sent you that text about the bridesmaid needing be ‘checked’ you should have dealt with MOH." "How you think she has any kind of point is baffling me, is a two-person trip with her what you actually want, because that’s what you are going to get."- TequilaMockingbirds8 "Dude you need to dump her as your maid of honor." "Let her deal with the financial consequences on her own."- OtherwiseLuck8920 "All I can say is WTF is it with brides thinking a big trip for a bachelorette party is appropriate?" "I was always talking to my college roommate, and we were so happy it wasn’t a thing when she got married." "No one wants to spend that money on a trip away from home." "Just have a 4 day wedding weekend if you must - Thursday night parties with your bridesmaids and groomsmen, Friday to recover and relax, do a rehearsal if needed, Saturday wedding, and return home Sunday." "Have a family brunch without wedding party if appropriate." "And for Pete’s sake, make it an accessible location if you want people to attend." "And no expensive one-time-use dresses or silk PJs for bonding."- WoollyMammothwapo It would be one thing if the OP's MOH wanted to surprise her. Instead, it seems she just took the liberty of planning everything herself, without considering whether this would work for anyone else. Drastic as it may seem, the OP might want to consider demoting her, as this kind of behavior doesn't bode well for the wedding weekend. --- ### Guy Asks If It Was Wrong To Back Out Of Bachelor Party Due To Unsafe Landslides At Destination **Published:** October 20, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/bachelor-party-landslides-reddit/.md Relationships change over time. It's difficult to learn that not every person someone loves as a lover, a friend, or even a family member will be around forever. People evolve and find new paths. This can lead to some serious relationship adjustments. And sometimes, those adjustments don't always work. Redditor u/__quietobserver wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally, he came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. He asked: "AITA for backing out of my bachelor trip after my friends refused to change the destination?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "I’m a 30-year-old male and have been living with my GF for around 10 years." "We’re getting married this year." "I have two very close friends I’ve known for about 15 years." "We grew up together and were extremely close." "About 5 years ago, I moved to another city with my partner, so now we mostly stay in touch by phone." "When we were teenagers, we were reckless." "We smoked w**d, cigarettes, drank, had multiple relationships/affairs, and did plenty of stupid things without thinking about consequences." "Over the years, I’ve changed." "I quit w**d, now drink only occasionally, and I’m trying to quit smoking." "I’m also much more focused on my career, finances, investments, and planning for the future." "My friends still have a similar lifestyle to what we had back then." "They still party, drink, and smoke regularly." "I don’t judge them, but my priorities have changed." "This year I am getting married, and one of my friends is also getting married, so the four of us planned a bachelor trip to Sikkim." "Before booking, we all agreed that if the weather became bad or conditions became unsafe, we would change the destination." "About a week before the trip, the weather in Sikkim worsened, and there were confirmed reports of landslides." "I asked the others if we could change the destination." "They strongly disagreed." "They said our route was safe, I was overreacting, and the sources I was using were bogus." "The conversation became heated, and they basically told me I was talking nonsense." "I even offered to compensate them for the bookings so nobody would lose money by changing plans." "They still refused." "My girlfriend and family were also strongly against me going because of the weather." "My friends then told me to lie to my girlfriend and family and go anyway." "That really bothered me." "I eventually decided I wasn’t comfortable taking the risk, especially since changing the destination was something we had all previously agreed upon if conditions worsened." "So I withdrew from the trip." "Now I’m worried I may have seriously damaged a 15-year friendship, possibly even ended it." "Part of me thinks I made the responsible choice." "Another part wonders if I was being overly cautious and should have just gone along with them." "I know my friends don’t have to live the way I do, and I don’t think I’m better than them because I’ve changed." "But I do feel we’re in different stages of life now, with different ideas about risk and responsibility." "I’m honestly scared that I might end up having no friends after this; I don't have any other friends." The OP was left to wonder: "AITA for backing out of the trip?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole. "NTA for backing out to protect yourself, but what do your friends’ party habits have to do with this situation?" "You set up this scenario where you paint them as being less mature and more into partying, but the actual scenario has to do with weather and safety." "I wonder if you just don’t like these people anymore." ~ singerbeerguy "Buddy, I’ve seen some pretty graphic things on Reddit." "I don’t think you have to censor the word 'weed.'” "This alone makes me feel comfortable saying NTA." "If you’re too worried about saying a colloquial term for marijuana here, you’re both not a risk-taker and have outgrown your friend group." "Both of these things are normal, by the way." "You couldn’t pay me to go to a place at risk of landslides, especially with people who likely won’t take things seriously." "And friends who want you to lie to your partner aren’t friends at all." ~ i_heart_nutella "NTA. Does it suck to possibly end a friendship over this? Yes." "Would it suck more to be hit by a landslide?" "Also yes." ~ Mushion "NTA. Landslides and bad weather are dangerous." "You were smart to communicate your boundary/contingency before, and everyone agreed." "You are the one following through with the agreed-upon plan, not them." "On top of that, you even offered them $, and they still refused to follow the plan they agreed to after you went out of your way for them." ~ MsMantisToboggan "NTA for putting your safety first and respecting your relationship." "When we grow up, our priorities change, and we grow." "Sometimes our friendships become incompatible, and even detrimental to us." "I very much believe that you are the company you keep." "Some things to consider." ~ BadPom "NTA. I was in a similar spot once and had put money down in a trip with friends." "I had to back out because of a surgery that I didn’t know if it would or wouldn’t happen during the time we were going to go." "I told them it may, and they said it was fine." "They ended up not refunding any of my money AND filled my spot on the trip." "It was a lot of money to lose to learn who my friends actually were." ~ Boring_Material_1891 "Solid NTA." "You were upfront with your friends, told them your reasoning." "You also listened to your girlfriend and her family's concerns." "Your friends told you to outright lie to your girlfriend, asking you to put them first." "You made a choice." "Your girlfriend and her family come first." "Plus, you're also entitled to have your own opinion, which your friends did not respect." "They didn't respect your girlfriend and told you to lie to her." "Good for you for deciding where your allegiance lies and sticking to it under pressure." "If you keep this up, it bodes well for you and your new family." ~ thinlySlicedPotatos "NTA - I'm sure your loved ones would appreciate that you are alive but lost 15-year friendships rather than the risk of not being alive or maimed and being beloved by those same friends." ~ UnauthorizedCat "NTA, your friends sound like the type that if you do end up in an emergency situation, they would not handle it well." "Growing up sometimes means letting go of people who no longer fit into our life." "Have you put any effort into making friends in the new city?" "It's not healthy for anyone to rely on just your partner for all your emotional needs." ~ Red-Cloud-44 "NTA. I hate to say this, but you have already lost these 'friends.'" "Your lives have changed." "Friends will come and go." "It’s the way the world works." "If they truly were friends, they would have changed the plans so you were comfortable." ~ Buckleupbuttercup77 "NTA - you are backing out for a legitimate reason, and your friend should be more considerate of everyone else's safety." "Honestly, if you do lose this friend, it wouldn't be your fault, and it's not a friendship worth having if they are willing to risk people's safety just for a trip and are also encouraging you to lie about it." ~ amelia611 "NTA. I went on vacation during the first week of March 2020." "One of the people on the trip backed out last minute because there were reports of a new disease spreading." "They were correct." "Of course, nobody on our trip got sick, but they prioritized their own safety in the face of uncertainty, and that was their right, as it is yours." ~ Antigravity1231 "NTA, you do what works for you, but I think your main issue here is you need to find new friends." "Time to pick up a social hobby, or volunteer, or anything to put you in a more social setting where you can meet people." "These old friends don't live near you, so you can't see them on a consistent basis, and they don't sound compatible with your current lifestyle." "You don't have to drop them entirely, but you should have other close friends to rely on who have more in common with you." ~ Zealousideal_Long118 "NTA. People can change as they grow older." "You have different priorities in life now, and there is nothing wrong with that." "It may be that your friendships have changed too." "Perhaps it is time to find new friends." "Just part of life’s path." ~ SadTree6038 "NTA, it's not a bad thing that you have different risk tolerance than your friends." "The problem(s) are that they went back on the original agreement AND then encouraged you to lie to your soon-to-be wife and her family." "So they disrespected you and then encouraged you to disrespect the woman you hope to spend your life with." "These are not 'friends' I would travel with, especially not somewhere possibly dangerous." "These are friends I would meet for coffee when I go home." "You are 30, not 80; you have lots of time to make new friends." "Ones that respect and value you and your new family." ~ MsJennifer18415 "You NTA, but they also are NTA." "I've been with friends who ruin trips over trivial safety concerns, and it's a terrible time." "Everyone should be safe, but for all three to strongly disagree tells me you are overreacting a bit, and something similar has happened before." "It sounds like you used to use substances to curb your anxiety, but now without it, you cannot do that anymore." ~ Feistygrapefruit152 It's hard to stand up to friends. It doesn't mean you don't care for each other. But people do outgrow one another. --- ### Redditor Hurt After Girlfriend Purposely Excludes Them From Her Birthday Plans **Published:** October 19, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/excluded-girlfriend-birthday-reddit/.md We have all felt excluded at one point or another by someone we love, whether it was not being acknowledged in the way we were hoping or not being included in their plans. But it hurts much more when being excluded happens on purpose, and multiple times, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit. Redditor CatHairTornado regularly felt excluded from their partner's plans, who would say they weren't invited without giving them an explanation as to why. When they made surprise birthday plans for her, only for her to accuse them of guilt-tripping her into spending her birthday with them, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if it was wrong to feel hurt by her slights. They asked the sub: "Am I overreacting because I'm hurt that my partner didn't include me for her birthday?" The OP felt excluded from their partner's important life events. "My partner, on occasion, has done things where she makes plans with her friends for events without me, like Pride, and her birthday..." "And I think it's starting to get to a head." The OP made special plans for their partner's birthday. "As her birthday is Thursday, I had gotten us Italian cooking lessons, as it's her favorite kind of dish. I figured with an upcoming Dublin trip, spending an evening with her making food was cool." "She had made plans with her friend and her kid to see a movie on her birthday. I'm not invited." "When I tried to explain what I had planned, she went off at me about guilt-tripping her, when all I asked was, 'Hey, I had something planned for us... and you like surprises, so that's what I did.'" 'She doesn't feel what she's done is wrong. She was more upset about the money wasted than the fact that I don't get to spend her birthday with her." The OP wasn't sure what to think about being excluded anymore. "I'm hurt, and definitely in knives out mode. This isn't the first time she's made plans where I figured I'd be included, but turns out I'm not." "She doesn't even give an explanation, like 'girls' night' or anything like that. She just says I'm 'not invited.' I feel if she's my partner, at the very least there can be some communication..." "I could use some insight. Someone, please tell me if I'm overreacting; I'll accept that. Trauma brain due to past relationships." "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some questioned if the OP was even in a relationship or if they should end it and move on. "NOR. It's time for you to make some changes. Stop learning the same lesson over and over again." "She's shown you who she is. Believe it. Frankly, I wouldn't invest in someone who can't see or won't appreciate the effort." - gidgetcococa2 "NOR. Her actions clearly show you where you are on her list of priorities. You do what you gotta do with that information." - HopefulUnit317 "A woman wants to spend her birthday with the most important people to her. If you are not one of those, she doesn't give a d**n about you. Stop wasting your time on her." - BraveCowardCat "NOR, she is not your partner. She's someone you know and are sort of dating. Go find a real partner, and make sure this time that it's someone who likes you." - discgman "NOR. I would break up with someone who didn’t include me in their birthday plans. Sure, it’s THEIR birthday, but come on. Either she doesn’t like you, or her friends hate you, or you’re the side piece." - did_i_or_didnt_i "If I had made plans with a friend and then found out my partner had cooking classes booked for us, I would just ask my friend to go the following night. Why is it such a big deal for her?!" - butters_325 "She's not that into you. Sorry, there's a pattern of exclusion. She should be wanting to spend some special occasions with you, but she doesn't." - Prestigious-Bluejay5 "NOR. I don't think partners have to be included in every social event, with or without an explanation, but birthdays are definitely a partner-included day. Unless you agree in advance that she's doing a friends-only celebration (which would normally be on a non-birthday day), the automatic assumption is that partners are included in celebrating your birthday." "Assuming you're a queer couple, it's also strange that she would celebrate Pride without you when it's a celebration for both of you. It doesn't seem like she's really that into you." - Fun_Access_3295 "Not overreacting given the information at hand, but it might be worth considering asking if the relationship is worth it if this is a common theme?" "For sure I get not wanting to spend every waking second with your partner, but seriously? Your birthday?" "I feel like you might be happier with someone else, but that's just my take." - LapisLovely69 "You're not her partner, unfortunately. You're more like a friend in her eyes, it seems like." "Guess what?? She's a bad friend!" "You don't need someone like this in your life. Move on, find someone who actually wants to make plans and memories with you!" - Affectionate_Knee190 "That’s actually really sad. I can not imagine my partner not wanting to spend their birthday, at least in some part with me, as well as s**tting on my very sweet and thoughtful surprise." "Your girlfriend is only in love with herself, and it’s hard to see where she makes space for you in your relationship. Seems like she showed you your place." "Are you going to sit there or find yourself the sweet girlfriend you truly deserve? NOR, if anything, you’re underreacting." - AccomplishedChart873 Others agreed and encouraged the OP to enjoy that cooking class on their own. "Go to the cooking classes alone and use the acquired skills to impress your future new girlfriend!" - Southern_Let4385 "Go to the cooking class! It will be fun, and you might meet someone new there!" "NOR. I can't imagine treating my partner like this." - MartinisnMurder "I think it's super strange to not include you. I'd want to spend my time with my partner. I want them there to celebrate, try new things, experience life together." "Sometimes I want just friend time, but my partner is my number one." - Sparklesnrainbows "NOR, she doesn't like you! (PS - I would still go to the cooking class, take somebody else with you.)" - Nervous_Revenue_9331 "NOR. She'd rather spend time with her friends than you. You are not a priority to her." "You deserve better, OP. Someone that actually values you. And appreciates you." "I would be hurt if I was excluded like that. And you even had a surprise for her. That's a low blow on her end." "I'd give myself the very special birthday gift of going to that cooking class single." - Artichoke-Grand "NOR. That is a really thoughtful gift. Too bad that she can’t appreciate it. Enjoy it yourself and think about if you want a lifetime of this." "And there might just be a few single women in the class. Might want to get to know someone who shares a common interest." "Even after 46 years of marriage, I’d never come in and say I’m doing my own thing on my birthday. It doesn’t matter what you got to surprise me with; I’m going out, and you’re not invited. That’s pretty cold and callous." "But don’t miss that class. It may open your eyes to even bigger and better things." - No_Transition_8293 "Maybe meet someone new there. That cooking class could be just the thing to find someone that would like to spend time with you doing things you both might enjoy." "I sure as h**l wouldn’t be sitting home if my husband decided he was going off to celebrate with others while telling me I’m not invited. He could just take his un-invitation and shove that where the sun don’t shine." "And he can just go stay with all the others he did invite, permanently, because that behavior is a complete 'no-go' for me. You don’t want me around, fine, I’ll make myself scarce, permanently." - Shadow4summer "I knew my boyfriend would become my husband when he told me I’d always be his priority. And we’ve been married ten years. I’ve always been the priority in his life. And he’s always been the priority in mine." "Leave this woman behind, and go enjoy that cooking class. Then, don’t settle for anything less. NOR and hugs, OP." - PlaidChairStyle The subReddit was frustrated on the OP's behalf, especially since this seemed to be a regular feature in their relationship. It was a particularly low-blow that the OP had made special, unique arrangements for their partner's birthday, only for their partner to use it against them, like they were trying to trap her into birthday plans. If a person feels closed in by their partner and doesn't want to include them for anything special anymore, there's hardly a relationship to worry about. The OP would be better off going to that cooking class single and see if something more bubbles up than just a recipe. --- ### Woman Calls Out Female Friend For Saying That Taking Out The Trash Is A 'Man's Job' **Published:** October 19, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/taking-out-trash-reddit/.md Doing chores never gets any more fun with age. In fact, with age, just thinking about doing the chores can be a chore. But house chores are inevitable. In a relationship, most home chores are divided up. Each partner has their duties. This usually works out well, until it doesn't. Redditor u/One-Advantage-2199 found herself in a dilemma regarding her friend's aversion to taking out the trash, so she turned to the "Am I The A**Hole"(AITAH) subreddit for feedback. Like AITA, the AITAH subreddit lets posters ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. She asked: "AITAH for telling my friend she's acting entitled because she refuses to take out her own trash?" The original poster (OP) explained: "A couple of months ago, I (30 F) invited my friend (31F ) and her BF (30 M) over for dinner." "I was still finishing up cooking when they arrived, so I let them in and asked my boyfriend (34 M) to keep them company in the living room while I wrapped things up in the kitchen." "While cooking, I noticed my trash can was overflowing." "Since dinner only needed about 5 minutes to set, I decided to take the trash bag out quickly (we live in an apartment building and have a courtyard for trash bags)." "As I walked through the living room with the bag, my friend turned to my boyfriend and said, 'Wait, you really let her take out the trash? That's a man's job.'" "I didn't think much of it at the time and just assumed she was trying to make a joke, even though it wasn't a funny one." "Fast forward to recently." "I was visiting her place, and her trash can was completely overflowing with flies swarming around it. " "She shrugged it off, explaining that her boyfriend was out of town for a week and she refused to take out the trash herself because 'it's a man's job." "Hearing that made me remember what she said at my house." "Out of pure curiosity, I asked her, 'What if your boyfriend broke his leg?'" "To get into their apartment, you have to climb a flight of stairs." "Without missing a beat, she said, 'Oh, I would call my dad and ask him to come take out the trash.'" "Her dad doesn't even live in the same town and is retired." "When I asked what she would do if her dad happened to be on vacation at the same time, she replied, 'I would either ask another man (a friend of hers or her boyfriend's) or just let the trash overflow until my boyfriend can walk again.'" "I couldn't hide the utter shock on my face." "She is a healthy woman with no chronic pain or physical limitations that would make it impossible to lift a trash bag." "She noticed my expression and asked what was wrong." "I told her honestly: I completely understand dividing chores in a relationship, but refusing to take out your own trash just because 'it's a man's task' is acting entitled." "To be clear, I have no problem with dividing tasks." "If one partner is primarily responsible for taking out the trash, that's totally fine! " "But refusing to do it yourself when your partner isn't around and letting your house fill up with flies just because of gender roles blew my mind." The OP was left to wonder: "So, AITAH for telling her she was acting entitled?" Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here. "Was she taught this as a child?" "The length she's gone through or willing to go through." "To avoid taking out the trash is concerning." ~ Reasonable-Soup-2142 "Oh wow, I would have started laughing in her face, so you kept it together more than I would have." "I'm sorry, not only is she entitled; she's disgusting." "Any person who can let their house become overfilled with trash like that just because a man isn't around is nasty." "To become so entitled to act like this is crazy." "She's the type that couldn't change a tire, her oil, or do anything that she thinks is a 'man's' job." 'One day is going to come when she's going to have to grow up." "I would have called the boyfriend and dad right there and would have told them they need to stop enabling this behavior." "So you're a better friend than I am." ~ Particular_Dinner_18 "If my sister had called our dad to take out trash, he'd have laughed in her face, and mom would have had strong words to say about entitlement." "They would do anything for us if we couldn't do it ourselves, but they raised us both to be independent adults." ~ Adelucas "NTA. I wouldn't even say entitled." "I would say stupid." "If she is willing to let her house stink and attract bugs because, in her opinion, taking out the trash is a man's job, she is extremely stupid." ~ Recent_Section725 "NTA, that's some serious internalized misogyny going there." "But also just stupid." "That's not healthy to have all those flies in the house for an extended period of time. " "She's going to make herself sick because 'it's a man's job' (it's not, obviously)." ~ GryphyGirl "NTA. WOW!" "The entitlement, the internalized misogyny, the audacity! Damn!" "We have bear-proof garbage cans, super heavy lids, tiny little latch." "They are hard to open and easy to tip." "Everyone hauls the garbage here." "Everyone." ~ bmw5986 "Sometimes I wonder about how people were raised." "My sister and I took turns at chores." "One week I'd do trash, and she'd vacuum; the following week we'd swap." "Same with doing dishes." "One week I'd wash, and she'd dry; the next week swap around." "We were both taught how to do laundry and how to iron clothes, and when we got our own places we both knew how to cook and clean without thinking any job was gender based." ~ Adelucas "NTA, but you're a better person than me." "I would've laughed my way out of that filthy as* place." "What if your boyfriend just said I'm not going to cook or clean or help raise a child because they are all a woman's job?" "What would you say to that?" "It's sexism, whichever way you slice it." ~ TBvunza98 "NTAH." "I would honestly evaluate the relationship with this girl and most likely distance myself from her immediately cause wtf do you mean you're a 30-year-old woman and can't take a bag of trash out?" "I would continuously think about all the other disgusting sh*t she does and have to end the friendship. Gross." ~ Own-Fee-2782 "NTA, cut her off completely and immediately. " "If she asks why, tell her it's because her home is a biohazard; therefore she is a biohazard, and you can't abide her way of treating her significant other and her friends." "So filthy in the way she lives." "Toxic in the way she treats her friends." "Plus, sexist in a very weird way." "Make sure she isn't allowed in your home either." "Who knows what toxins she's dragging around with her." ~ Spa-Ordinary "I feel bad for whoever marries her." "My guess is she’s just like her mother, who probably bullies and manipulates an overly kind husband and takes advantage of him." "You are NTA." ~ aliencardboard "NTAH. It’s more than entitled behavior." "It’s unsanitary to have a full trash can with flies buzzing around it." "It makes me wonder what other odd ideas she has." ~ AggravatingToday2833 "Your friend is lacking common sense." "Nothing wrong with delegating tasks, so the household runs efficiently and one person does not become overwhelmed." "But she is c.r.a.z.y. " "If this creates an unsanitary environment, he is away, and she refuses to take the trash out." "She is mentally off." "I would guess this is not her only off moment or comment. YIKES!!!!" ~ Dreamy1900 "She's a sexist princess, which isn't a very desirable combination." "I hope her boyfriend is able to get some help with his shockingly low self-esteem." "NTA. And you didn't even make the actual criticism of her attitude until she dragged it out of you." ~ MotelTheTailor1903 "All chores are for all genders." "You would do them all by yourself if you were single and lived alone." "She is saying her dad would do it, but I think that must have never happened before, and she is just saying it is what she would try first." ~ NO_FIX_AUTOCORRECT "NTA. What other filthy habits does your friend have that you don’t know about yet?" "I would never eat food prepared in her kitchen again. Flies are filthy little creatures, and there is no way I would want food prepared in a dirty kitchen that is hosting flies." ~ IceDragonPlay "Taking out trash is 'a man's job?'" "That's not just entitled, that's absolutely ridiculous." "Dividing tasks is one thing." "But throw out this bulls*it about 'this is a man's job' and 'this is a woman's job.'" "Because that doesn't exist." "Every job can be done by a man and a woman." "At least the usual chores in a household, like washing clothes, cleaning dishes, taking out the trash, and such." "Even if a couple divides it in a way that usually the man has to take out the trash, there can be situations where that's not possible." "The man may be away for days or, like you suggested, incapable because of a broken leg." "The trash still needs to be taken out, so the other person (the woman...) sometimes needs to do it herself." "That's what normal adults do." "So, NTA." ~ Z4-Driver Reddit is with you, OP. Your friend's behavior is, at best, peculiar. How does someone just let trash pile up and attract flies? Good luck to her BF. --- ### Parent Called Out For Excluding Mother-In-Law From Lunch After Baby's Baptism **Published:** October 19, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/lunch-baby-baptism-reddit/.md Not everybody gets an invite. That is a big life lesson. Sometimes the guest list is smaller than small. And people have to learn how to adjust their feelings. Redditor u/ToadNoodles wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. They asked: "AITA for not inviting MIL to lunch?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "We recently had our baby baptized, and it was a really small, intimate thing." "My sister came down to be her godmother, and other than my M-I-L, we didn’t invite any other family or friends because extended family lives far away and visited a few weeks prior and said they couldn’t make it anyways." "My MIL lives nearby, so we invited her to the baptism." "She’s a different religion than us and has questioned our religious views in the past, so things have been a little awkward around that." "After the baptism, my sister and I wanted to grab lunch before she headed home." "She wasn’t even staying a full 24 hours, and I probably won’t see her again for another couple of years, and we talk like once a year. " "We basically just wanted some chill time together before she left." "My MIL wanted to come too, but we told her we were just going to spend some family time with my sister since we rarely see her." "We had already seen my MIL TWICE that week, and she lives close by, so we see her all the time." "Also, my sister has pretty bad social anxiety and hardly talks as is, and meals with my MIL can be really tense and awkward, which could have made the visit uncomfortable for all." "We just wanted one quick meal with my sister where we could actually talk and enjoy some time together before she left." "Now we’re being told that we excluded my MIL and that she’s all upset." The OP was left to wonder: "So... AITA?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole. "NTA. MIL has limited awareness beyond herself." ~ chippychipson "NTA... you explained, and now MIL can be upset - There is nothing you can do about it." "Please don't apologize for wanting time with just your sister." ~ marblefree "ESH - it's the timing." "It's 100% normal to eat together after a baptism." "I can understand her feeling that the celebration was continuing without her." "Why couldn't her son have lunch with her?" "It's highly unusual where I'm from to invite people to a baptism and then say, 'Thanks for coming, bye, the other ladies are going for lunch, but you can't come.'" "That would be considered rude." "However, if you had planned and communicated properly in advance, this could have been avoided." "I do understand wanting sister time, but the timing can create a feeling of exclusion." "I don't think MIL is irrational." ~ Kami_Sang "Who cares whether she's upset or not?" "You don't owe anybody to let them invite you to something you planned." "You had already included her, and as you said, you'd already seen her socially a couple of times that week." "You didn't do anything wrong whatsoever, and good for you for standing up for yourself and getting some alone time with your sister." ~ NamasteNoodle "NTA. If you explained to MIL as you did here." "I don’t see why MIL still wanted to go and be upset afterwards." "If you care, you can ask her out for an hour at a park." "Say you’ll bring sandwiches and she can bring her tea/coffee." "For a short picnic." "If she says no (as I hoped), then let her." "Let her play the victim." "That’s probably her energy to keep her life running." "Enjoy your blessed life." "Take care of your baby, husband, and yourself." "Don’t worry about what she said." ~ JudeTheBear555 "Normally there’s a little something after the baptism." "It can be punch and cookies in the church basement, but something." "Depending on parochial customs, the Godparents often host that event." "I’m used to people giving financial gifts - a nice kick-in to the child's 529 account is my usual gift." "I understand that your sister didn’t want to do that, but it’s not totally out of pocket that your MIL thought there would be something. NTA." ~ BombshellJamboree "NTA. If MIL is upset, it’s for her to deal with." "You’re not responsible for her feelings, and all you wanted was some private time with your sister." "That said, it would have been better if you didn’t discuss going to lunch right in front of her." "What she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her." ~ FormerlyDK "NTA, all things considered, I think. It would have likely been better, though, if you could have spoken more honestly with your MIL about your need to go with your sister alone." "Maybe then she would have better understood the exclusion." "I will say, though, if the 'we' you speak of included anyone other than you and your sister, then I think you did wrong in excluding your MIL, and I get her hurt feelings." ~ Realistic_Head4279 "You keep saying ‘we’ wanted some private time with your sister." "Who is ‘we?'" "Your spouse?" "It’s confusing, because on one hand, you say you want one-on-one time with your sister, and on the other hand, the word ‘we’ keeps coming up." "It’s troubling that, if ‘we’ means your spouse, their mother was excluded." ~ Cataclysmus78 "Ehhhhh." "I think it's the done thing to have some kind of reception for a baptism. " "Even if it's just a little snack thing." "I totally get your reasoning, but you and your partner should have done something with the whole group before you had the sister lunch." "YTA but not with venom... lol." ~ OkSecretary1231 "NAH. If MIL made the effort to come to the baptism, especially as it isn’t her religion, it would have been gracious to include her in the lunch and would have saved you a headache." "But it’s also fine not to do so." ~ Tiny_Shelter440 "I imagine that if you, Sister, husband, and baby all went to lunch post-baptism, it would be logical for MIL to assume she was coming with you." "I can see her feelings being bruised if she was sort of 'not invited' in the moment." "However, if you had communicated with her ahead of time that Sister was going to have to get going shortly afterwards, and lunch was a chance for her to catch up with you and Husband, AND MIL STILL had some hurt feelings." " And now she's blasting the business out for all and sundry." "Then I think she's wrong." "Genuinely, I think this was just a misstep and a sincere 'I'm sorry that us having lunch with only her was upsetting/if we misspoke or somehow conveyed that we don't enjoy your company. Sister had to head home, and we see her so rarely, we wanted to make the most of her visit as it was.'" MIL'll probably insert hurt feelings here, play it by ear." "Again, we're sorry that our miscommunication led to hurt feelings; that's definitely not what we want/wanted for such an important event." "Would you be able to join us for X event (trunk or treat/turkey trot/Christmas lights/etc.)." "This year?" "Again, play it by ear." ~ okiesotan "Why does the MIL have to be included if the spouse is?" "They see the MIL every week and presumably get plenty of time with just her." "OP's spouse also wanting to catch up with his SIL doesn't mean he's mistreating his mum." "I assume OP means they wanted her sister to be the focus of their attention." "They knew she'd feel uncomfortable with someone she didn't know, and her comfort took priority since they rarely see her." ~ ClumsyandLost "She was already told and still tried to invite herself." ~ Hairy-Tomatillo- OP came back to chat... "Based on comments, I wanted to add additional clarity..." "The night before the baptism, my MIL texted my husband if we could get lunch afterward." "He advised her we’d (me, him, and baby) be spending the last bit of time with my sister because we haven’t seen her in a long time and probably wouldn’t see her for another year or more." "We never explicitly said, 'We are getting lunch without you.'" "MIL just assumed lunch, which happened to be correct." "The lunch also wasn’t an official party or anything." "It truly was a meal to talk candidly and catch up before she left right after." Most of Reddit is with you, OP. It is a little awkward to leave someone out of an invite for a small after-event when they were part of the main event. Hopefully, this will all just blow over. Good Luck. --- ### Woman Snaps At Gym-Obsessed Coworker Who Told Her She Shouldn't Eat French Fries **Published:** October 19, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/gym-obsessed-colleague-reddit/.md Try as they might, there is no one who gets along with everyone they know. Some people get on our nerves a little more than others. Even so, finding people challenging shouldn't affect our ability to be nice to them. Barring some truly extraordinary circumstances. Redditor ne0neptune had a colleague who seemed like an outcast in her office. It wasn't long before this colleague got on the nerves of the original poster (OP) as well. Namely, owing to his constant gloating about a hobby the OP introduced him to. The OP found herself unable to keep her mouth shut, however, when this colleague shifted from gloating to making personal remarks about the OP. Having some doubts about how she handled things, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH). Unlike the similar 'Am I The A**Hole' (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Voting acronyms aren't required, and no final judgment is declared. The OP asked fellow Redditors: "AITAH For Telling My Coworker No One Cares About His Workout Routine?" The OP explained why they felt compelled to put her colleague in his place: "I (21 F) work in a small company with only a few coworkers." "One of them, let's call him Joe (27 M), is the owner's son and has always had issues." "He can't keep a job down besides in his parents' company, and he is an all-around miserable person." "I gave him a lot of chances because I felt bad for him." "Last summer, I decided to get a gym membership and thought I could invite him to join me since we leave work at the same time." "I know I like to have motivation, so I was just trying to help him out." "We stayed on a steady routine for a few months, and then he flaked out on me until he just stopped going." "I stayed consistent and eventually stopped going to the big gym since I had switched to a new apartment complex. I have been using their gym instead, so I decided to end my membership in February of this year." "Fast forward to August of 2026, he has begun to go back to the gym, and it has consumed his life." "'Hey Joe, how was your day'." "'All I can think about it going to the gym after work'." "'Hey Joe, can you grab me that box from the top shelf'." "'Ah man, don't make me reach for it. I am wayyyy to sore since I worked out in the gym'." "'Hey Joe, I got a new dog'." "'I have to lift more weights so I can lift that dog up'." "'These little comments just got under my skin because I didn't care about what he did or why he was sore'." "'I think it would bother me if anyone was gloating like this, especially since well....he doesn't exactly look like he's going to the gym either'." "I held my tongue and just put up with his constant need for praise and attention." "I wasn't going to tell a grown man good job for walking on a treadmill for twenty minutes." "He does not lift weights or do any strenuous cardio." "Even if he did, he doesn't need to bother me with all the details." "Today, I go out to eat for lunch and brought food back." "I came back from my lunch break and Joe commented that the air smelled like fries." "I just ignored him and continued walking, to which he said, 'You know, if you didn't eat like that, you'd be a lot healthier. That's why I have been going to the gym, you shouldn't have cancelled your membership'." "Finally, I snapped." "I told him that no one cares that he went to the gym every day, and if he was really happy with himself, he would just focus on his own body." "He told me I was being sensitive and not everything has to be a big deal." "I told him that I have been going to the gym for months and just because I eat out once doesn't erase my hard work." "I don't tell everyone about my gym habits because...my coworkers don't care I was in the gym for an hour last night lol!" "Maybe I was sensitive to his comment about my eating habits, but I honestly am just fed up with his constant need for praise over something that most humans do without batting an eye (exercise)." "AITAH for snapping at him?" Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community was generally in agreement that the OP had every right to clap back at Joe. Everyone agreed that if Joe had only been talking about himself, it would be one thing. But once he started making personal remarks about the OP's body, someone needed to put him in his place, even if some questioned how good an idea it was to talk that way to their boss's son: "NTA." "Once he brought up your personal habits, it became inappropriate."- Quiet-Hamster6509 "NTA, why is a man commenting on your health?" "He sounds annoying."- kombuchakowgirl "NTA." "He went from talking about his own workout to commenting on your body and eating habits." "That's where he crossed the line."- OfficialBroccoliRob "NTA….the insult he threw at you totally justified your response."- No-Firefighter-7442 “'I’d think you would have more results for how often you go to the gym'.”- ChartPuzzleheaded747 "NTA." "Really isn’t his place to comment on bodies or eating habits."- female-trb72 "NTA." "Why is he commenting on what someone else eats?" "Or on their health?" "It’s rude." "He sounds like a brat."- rwindsor7 "NTA." "People like him are exhausting."- sherbetx "NTA." "The audacity of THIS guy commenting on your body and health when he was the one who flaked on gym plans with you." "He really crossed the line there." "Also, he’s clearly miserable, and you have tried your best but now you’ve been pushed to your limits."- wherearetheavocados6 "I don't know if OP is TAH, but not smart to piss off the owner's son for something, not threats, sexism, racism, but talking too much about health and workouts when OP is the one who invited them to begin with?!"- epeeist42 "NTA." "If you can't enjoy eating what you want every now and again, life would be a lot more miserable." "He sounds miserable and wants everyone to be as miserable as he is."- MistressJacklynHyde "NTA." "But is Joe actually neurotypical?" "There might be a cognitive issue." " I have a relative on the autism spectrum who would latch onto a topic, and that's all they talked about." "Their parents worked really hard with them, and they're much improved." "Totally not okay to comment on your personal choices." "How kind of you to have invited him to the gym in the first place."- DependentReaction896 "I think YTA." "You say you gave him lots of chances because you felt bad for him." "I’m interpreting these chances as just friendly conversations." "So maybe he thought you were work friends since you two have conversations." "You are the one who introduced him to going to the gym." "You were both going to the same gym after work, so you had that in common." "You tell him about at least some things in your life; for instance, that you got a dog." "You ask him to do things for you in the office; asking him to get things down from a high shelf for you." "He probably talks to you about working out all the time because you have that in common, he wants you to see he is at least keeping up what you introduced him to, and he probably doesn’t have much else going on in his life." "You are the one who kept letting him talk about working out until suddenly it was the last straw." "Maybe communicate with him and others before you get so angry you yell at him/them." "If you don’t like him, stop interacting with him." "In the workplace, you need to be professional and respectful." "Especially if he is owner’s son." "That will blow back on you, not him." "Maybe you could apologize for blowing up at him if you haven’t already?" "You don’t want that at work." "Hang in there, you are in a tough situation, but you will be ok."- jaynor88 "The best strategy would be to talk over him and completely ignore his comments." "NTA, though." "Nothing wrong with the truth."- DynkoFromTheNorth Putting someone's hobbies or passions down for no reason is simply unkind. Equally unkind, however, is using your hobbies and passions to make demeaning remarks about someone else. Joe should consider himself lucky that the OP didn't sink to his level. --- ### Guy Snaps At Mother-In-Law For Screaming At His Wife For Eating Her Food In Fridge **Published:** October 16, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/food-in-fridge-reddit/.md Sometimes family members can be the most hurtful people. Maybe they don't know it, but that doesn't mean one needs to accept it. Berating loved ones can take its toll. And when limits are breached, it's war. Redditor u/Ok_General_7169 wanted to share their experience and get feedback, so they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. They asked: ""AITA for telling my MIL to fu*k off after she screamed at my wife over a salad? The Original Poster (OP) explained: "I’m 23 M, and my wife is 21 F." "We got married last year and moved in with my M-I-L after she offered to let us stay for $300 a month plus groceries." "At first, everything was fine. "We cleaned, did dishes, helped with her three dogs and two cats, bought groceries, and I even fixed her dishwasher and clogged sink." "After a couple of months, I started seeing the anger issues my wife had warned me about." "Her mom would explode over small things, yell at my wife, call her names, and constantly claim we didn’t help around the house." "A couple of months ago, she accused us of not paying rent even though we had." "We paid her again and told her to count the extra payment toward the next month. " "She also complained that we never offered her food, even though I regularly cooked or bought enough for everyone, including her and my 15-year-old B-I-L." "This past Sunday, my wife was getting ready for work and saw some kale salad in the fridge." "She tried asking her mom if she could have some but got no answer, so she ate less than half and put the rest back." "Her mom completely lost it." "She threw the salad bag on the floor near our room and started screaming at my wife, calling her an animal, a b*tch, and other names." "I stayed quiet at first because I usually avoid getting involved in their arguments." "Then her mom threatened to go to my wife’s workplace because my wife said she couldn’t talk to her while she was yelling." "When she saw me, she started yelling at me too, saying we needed to 'get our sh*t together.'” "That’s when I snapped." "I told her to f*ck off and said her reaction over a salad was insane." "I told her she constantly says we do nothing even though we pay rent, clean, buy groceries, help with the animals, fix things around the house, and regularly offer her food." "I also told her she’s always angry and pushing everyone away." "My wife and I left afterward because I needed to cool down." "I was shaking because I normally hate confrontation, but I felt like I finally needed to stand up for my wife and myself." "I talked to my dad afterward and decided we’re moving back into the condo I was already helping pay for." "I know telling my MIL to f*ck off wasn’t the best way to handle it, but after months of watching her scream at my wife, I reached my limit." The OP was left to wonder: "So AITA?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole. "NTA MIL is abusive." ~ isfpfish "Good for OP for standing up for his wife." "MIL needed to hear someone call her out." "She thought that she could treat you and your wife like sh*t because you're staying at her place." "Soon she'll realize that she lost her family and a good source of income." ~ IceSeeker "He didn’t really stand up for his wife, did he?" "MIL screams at his wife; he does nothing." "MIL threatens to go to his wife’s workplace; he does nothing." "MIL sees him and starts yelling at HIM; he responds." "To be clear, I’m not judging him." "He’s young, and it’s an awkward situation when you’re staying with your partner’s family; there are established dynamics that you don’t quite know how to manage." "I just don’t think he necessarily deserves praise either." ~ Local_Initiative8523 "NTA. Good on you for standing up for her." "Get out of there ASAP." "Do also consider getting your own place so you can live as adults without a parent in the same home." "I don't know if you’re planning to have kids but definitely don’t get pregnant until you have stable accommodation you can afford, that isn’t relying on anybody else’s goodwill." ~ EmotionalSouth "NAH, I'm on team 'define weird' also because 'weird' can apply to a lot of different things." "For example, there's weird as in 'getting antsy about someone new being in 'his space,' and then there's weird as in 'making borderline (?) gross comments about the benefits of finally having a woman in the house.'" "The former is something that can be worked on, while the latter is something OP should protect his wife from (even if it's 'just' comments and not actions, and even if OP's father has apologized and claims to have changed)." ~ Aethey_ "I kinda was that kid. Mom had a mean streak toward my older sisters specifically but always kinda favored me, which mostly means she left me alone as I got older." "Partially because around 14-15 years old, I had learned how to tiptoe around all her triggers and keep the peace." "It probably wasn’t very good for me to rewire my brain in that way, but c’est la vie." "I went to state college right after high school, with no money and no plan, just to get out of there." "I’m pushing 30 now, and I may still be a hot mess, but at least I’m living my own drama-free life, N C with parents." "Let the kid know he still has people." "Check in with him and take him to lunch every so often, explicitly tell him that you’ll listen to anything he wants to talk about." "It’ll help, I’d bet." "Also, for the record, NTA, a lot of times a girl’s first bully is her mom, and you were right to stand up for her." ~ Miserable_Pop_4593 "NTA. Maybe it sounds harsh, but maybe she needed to finally hear something back." "Get a taste of her own medicine." "She’s clearly got issues." "I feel bad for the 15-year-old." "I would actually invite him to come stay over whenever he’d like when you move." "I’m sure he needs a break from her." "Giving him a space where he can escape that for days at a time will benefit him." "That woman definitely needs therapy." ~ xXcriticalpipeXx "NTA, I was once in your wife's position with my own abusive parents." "My husband didn't quite understand until I had a severe asthma attack and couldn't do something my mom wanted, so she started screaming, cussing me out, and threatening me all while I struggled to breathe." "My husband rushed between us and started yelling right back, giving her a taste of her own medicine, while he scooped me up and took me to the hospital." "You protected your wife like you're supposed to." "Your MiL deserved a reality check a long time ago." "Now your wife needs to set up strong boundaries with consequences." "Your wife will probably also need therapy eventually because, from personal experience growing up in an abusive household, you get conditioned to be a people pleaser, and you bottle up your own feelings, and none of it is healthy." ~ Silaquix "NTA. You are doing the best thing by leaving." "And your stress levels will disappear!" "MIL thought she had control over you because you lived there." "It would only get worse." "I'd be going NTA with that kind of abusive monster." "Your poor wife. " "Good on you for standing up for her!" ~ Worth-Two7263 "Sounds like you hit your limit, and the abuse had taken its toll." "I personally feel like she deserved every single bit of honesty that you gave her - even if you had to raise your voice to make it clear how you and your wife felt." "'Cause that kind of loud, verbal feedback (although it may sound counterintuitive to a good relationship/atmosphere) is the only way that some people will get it into their heads how unfair they're being." "So I mean, yeah - I think that you honestly handled it decently well, even if it feels like you didn't." "Like, nobody was harmed physically; it was just an outpouring of pent-up emotion." "Abuse is not okay in any situation." "So, calling it out for what it was was a good thing that you did." "I think you should be proud of yourself for standing up for your wife, and I applaud you." "Don't second-guess yourself, OP." "I know it can be hard living with abusive people." "Been there, done that." "Get out sooner rather than later, and just remove yourself from the situation." "Best of luck." ~ anothersip "Fu*k her, what's good for goose is good for the gander." "I speak to my MIL the same way she speaks to me, and she gets upset every time." ~ Chemical_Shirt7837 OP came back with an update... "My MIL sent my wife a long message that wasn’t really an apology." "She blamed us for not helping enough around the house and said anger doesn’t justify yelling or disrespect, which felt ironic given her own behavior." "She also claimed we hadn’t paid August’s rent, despite us accidentally paying twice in July and telling her to apply the second payment to August." "My BIL told us that on Sunday, she called her ex-husband and asked him to make me leave because she was uncomfortable." "When he refused, she threatened to call the police." "I wasn’t threatening anyone or doing anything illegal—I was already packing and would have left if she had simply asked—but police involvement could create serious problems for me." It's good to hear that you're taking steps to leave. This sounds like a very unhealthy and unsafe environment. --- ### Bride Balks When Brother's Fiancée Rushes To Get Married Before Her After Being Excluded From Bachelorette Party **Published:** October 16, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/excluded-bachelorette-party-reddit/.md Sometimes the people everyone's siblings choose to marry aren't popular. Maybe they try too hard, maybe they don't try at all. This can cause a lot of friction in family ties. But sometimes certain behaviors have to be called out. Redditor u/emfayea found herself in a dilemma regarding her wedding preparations and her new S-I-L, so she turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback. Like AITA, the AITAH subreddit lets posters ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. She asked: "AITAH for not inviting my brothers fiancee to my bachelorette trip?" The original poster (OP) explained: "Hi all." "My brother got engaged in June to his fiancée, Sarah." "She's around our age." "We’re friendly but aren’t close and only do small talk." "I haven’t tried hard to be her friend, but she hasn’t either." "In May, I planned my bachelorette trip for August." "We have a large friend group that includes my brother, but Sarah isn’t really part of it, as neither of them has been around since they started dating." "Half the girls in the group were invited." "After they got engaged in June, my sister and I decided to invite Sarah since she’d soon be our sister." "We put it on the back burner because my bridal shower was in early July." "Sarah had been invited for months and RSVP’d yes." "On the day of the shower, Sarah messaged one of the girls saying she was on the way, then said she wasn’t feeling well." "I didn’t know until the girl told me, but Sarah said she’d be there by 12:30 (the shower started at 12)." "She didn’t arrive until the shower was already over, when my brother came to help tear down." "I said, 'Oh hey, how are you feeling? I heard you were sick!'” "My sister then pulled us into a photo, and Sarah awkwardly laughed and walked away." "I said 'alrighty' and got caught up saying goodbye to everyone." "They left before I saw them go." "Later that week, my brother asked me to walk their dog because neither of them would be home that morning." "I agreed, walked the dog, and sat with him for about 20 minutes." "I took a cute photo and sent it to both of them, saying he was a cutie, as you would when dog-sitting." "I then got a barrage of texts from my brother asking why I sent the photo, saying Sarah was furious, hated people being in the house, and asking why I was there." "I was put off because I didn’t know my visit was a secret from her." "I’d also been in their house many times before with them." "After this, I told my sister, and we decided not to invite Sarah because we didn’t want potential drama at the bachelorette." "None of this communication was ever directly between Sarah and me—it was either her messaging someone else or my brother relaying things to me." "The trip happened." "Two weeks before my wedding, my brother and Sarah secretly got married." "While discussing it with my brother, he told me Sarah wanted to 'beat me' to getting married because I didn’t invite her to my bachelorette and that it was common courtesy to invite her." "I explained that we had planned to invite her, but after everything that happened, we decided not to." "He argued with me." "Now, a month after that conversation, my brother is saying in our 30-person chat that it’s my fault he’s not around because I didn’t invite his wife to my bachelorette." "I finally just got mad and said, 'And she isn’t entitled to be invited, as it is my party and I can invite who I would like.'” "He said all the girls were invited, and several girls who weren’t invited chimed in that they weren’t and were fine with it." The OP was left to wonder: "So, AITAH?" Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here. "NTAH, and from the sounds of how she acts and bosses around your brother, she probably won’t be a member of the family long anyway." "She sounds insufferable." ~ Beer_Meetz_Girl "The 'wanted to beat me to getting married' comment is what really makes this weird, not the bachelorette invite." "I wouldn’t predict whether their marriage lasts, but Sarah and OP clearly weren’t close, and turning a guest-list decision into a competition is a lot." "The brother needs to stop making OP responsible for his wife’s choices." ~ Straight_Practice876 "Can you imagine telling your children the reason you eloped was that being mommy wanted to beat auntie to the altar because she was pissed she didn’t get a bachelorette invite." "That’s a truly great love story to tell your children and grandchildren. 🙄." "Not that I think the SIL and brother will tell the truth." "The truth is so embarrassing." ~ VictoryValuable9489 "NTA. Sarah sounds like a b*tch, and your brother doesn’t sound any better since it was his fault the whole dog-walking thing happened, which is what spiraled into everything else." "Maybe she shouldn’t be at the wedding either :) " ~ crazybrokeandasian "I miss the part where you responded to your brother saying, 'Well, you asked me to come and get your dog, and he lives in your house.'” "Everything will be fine." "They were just used to everybody not treating them like the as*holes that they are, and now that you did, you did everyone a favor, and good for you." "They’re really shortchanging themselves by getting married in secret." "Lol, talk about a backfire! And when you send a card and a nice gift, that will really hit home!" "Whenever you stand up for something, you risk getting your head cut off or things getting worse for you; that’s what’s best in the people that are nasty to you." "You’ll just fade out." ~ BartholomewTheSilent "NTA. Sarah isn't friendly; she's an entitled witch who is trying to start drama." "I'd be honest, tell your brother that she wasn't invited because what kind of psycho has to 'beat' someone to a wedding, tell him he's also being weird and competitive for no reason, and then block them." "Do not feed their energy, because they will absolutely continue to manufacture situations where they'll feel slighted." "If they don't show up to family events, that's on them completely." "If they do, pretend they don't exist." ~ ExcellentCold7354 "With all my love, you have to stop falling for the bait - right now." "This is a big deal, but not for the reasons that you think." "This girl is abusive, and she's slowly isolating your brother from his family." "You are the first person to be cut off over something stupid, and you will not be the last." "The one piece of advice I can give is this: Do not engage with her tantrums." "Don't ignore her either." "Be saccharine sweet, and give her all the sympathy and apologies that you can." "Never give her a single foothold to force your brother to cut you off." "If she can find any sleight, she will use it to take everyone he loves from him." "Tell your friends to stop engaging with this topic in the group chat or anywhere else." "Tell them the plan." "We love her so thoroughly that she sounds insane for making a fuss." "We treat her like a princess." "We never allow her a moment of unkindness to use against your brother." "Trust me, once he's gone, he will be so hard to find." "Adults can choose to be abused." "They can choose to allow their children to be abused, and you will be surprised at how little you can do about it." ~ Which-Month-3907 "Where was your invite to her bachelorette and their wedding???" "And OMG, wanting to marry before you, so doing it in secret?" "Were your parents and sister invited to their secret wedding?" "She sounds awful!!!" "I wonder if you'll be invited to their divorce parties? 😆." ~ NutAl "NTA. Sounds like Sarah is incredibly jealous of your brother's attention being on anyone but her." "She sounds incredibly insecure." "I wouldn't have invited her to my party either, simply because getting engaged or married doesn't entitle anyone to a close relationship with the family they just married into." "That close relationship comes because you both put in the time and effort." "She has not done that and now has poisoned that well forever." ~ bmw5986 "NTA. And sorry to say it, but this marriage is probably the end of the relationship between your brother and your family." "There's a ton of unhealthy behaviors and attitudes that will make it impossible to get along with him and his wife." ~ Altruistic_Relief189 "NTA. She was the one who started with the disinterest in making the shower." "Did she previously avoid family gatherings on your side of the family?" "Then was upset that you dog walked/sat a week later." "That is a she/him problem - he couldn't tell her he wasn't able to take care of the dog himself or tell he he had gotten anyone else to do it." "It sounds like she and your brother have turned 'not invited to one event' into a competition." "The next things will be new home, babies, etc." "But you can easily let her win the divorce first because that is a competition you don't want to enter." ~ HCIBSW "NTA. And you need to put some distance between you and your brother." "His behavior is ridiculous." "He asks you to walk the dog, then yells at you for entering his house. WTF?!" ~ Starry-Dust4444 Reddit is with you, OP. Sarah has some issues to work through. It was your party. You get to dictate the guest list. Have a great wedding. --- ### Redditor Sets Off Mom By Buying Siblings DNA Kits After Learning Mom Lied About Who Father Was **Published:** October 16, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/siblings-dna-kits-reddit/.md It's sometimes easy to read into presents we are given. Most of the time, people are simply trying to be generous and may not realize they've given us something that strikes an unpleasant chord. Other times, our concerns may be valid, and the gift may have been given with a somewhat sinister intent. Redditor Separate-Necessary-3 recently gave their three siblings three somewhat unusual gifts. The original poster (OP) gave them these gifts for a very specific reason. The OP's mother, however, took great offense to these presents, feeling they were a personal attack on her. Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors: "AITA for buying my siblings AncestryDNA kits?" The OP explained why they felt. DNA kits were a necessary gift for their siblings: "My mom says I am being an @ss for buying my siblings DNA kits this summer." "Backstory: last year I did a DNA kit and found out that the dad I had known for 38 years wasn’t my bio dad." "Even though my mom admits to sleeping with my bio dad, she swore he wasn’t my dad." "I match to 3 of his other kids." "I got my sibs DNA test so they could be sure about their dads." "Mom says I’m calling her a wh*re." "I just think we should all know where we came from." "AITA?" Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for giving their siblings DNA tests. Everyone agreed that the OP was absolutely correct in believing that their siblings deserved to know who their blood relations were, particularly as the OP's mother had not been honest with them... even if some didn't quite understand why the OP felt compelled to tell their mother, and others wondered if the OP had seriously considered any and all possible consequences: "NTA." "I'm guessing they are adults." "They can make that choice themselves."- Madameknitsalot "NTA." "Your siblings can choose to use them or not." "I hope you TOLD your siblings about the situation first, and they didn't find out via your present that they might have a different dad - that would make you the AH to them."- Sensitive_Coconut339 "NTA." "It’s not even about 'knowing where you come from', you accidentally gave doctors an incorrect family medical history for 38 years and your mom is okay with your siblings possibly continuing to do that for the rest of their lives." "People have died because of situations like this." "It is better to tell your doctors that you are missing a chunk of your family medical history than to give them incorrect information."- Icy_Soft6906 "NTA." "But also why tell your mom?" "You’re all adults and if you/your siblings want to do a test why involve your mom at all?"- Zadsta "NTA." "But y'all need therapy."- yerbivor "NTA." "You wanting answers doesn’t make her a wh*re." "Both my mom and stepmom have discovered extra siblings or true bio-parents thanks to these kits and have made some great connections." "People who want answers shouldn’t be shamed for it and definitely are NTA."- Past_Exercise6507 "NTA." "She’s projecting because she got caught." "You’re ensuring your siblings have information relevant to their parentage, which could impact their family medical history and possible future health." "She’s just worried about how this makes her look but she wasn’t very worried about that when she was fooling around so that’s her burden to bear."- shortifiable "NTA." "She had 38 years to tell you." "I had this happen to me recently..." "I found out I have 2 sisters I didn't know about." "I bought my siblings I grew up with DNA kits just to figure out things, and when they popped up as half-siblings, we knew."-grathungar "NTA I assume your siblings are adults." "They can make the choice." "But your mother has demonstrated a lack of trustworthiness with your paternity and you - and they- are entitled to honesty."-Dogmother123 "NTA." "My mum and her siblings did this after their parents had both passed." "Rather than sharing a father, they discovered 4 different fathers across the 9 children." "This helped inform them on a lot of medical stuff they never thought was in the family and answered a lot of questions about why some were so different from others."- quiet0n3 "NTA." "Your mom is just worried that more truth will come out."- Cartmansimon "NTA." "You are all adults and your mom should have said something by now." "Since she won’t tell you all the truth you are helping your siblings find it for themselves."- Sweetsmyle "NTA." "But I don't think you should insist they actually do the test or ask about the results." "Give this to them as an option but let them know you don't expect to hear anything more about it and they can toss it if they want." "You can't force folks to test their DNA."- tellypmoon "NTA necessarily, but you should obviously expect this likely to cause family drama." "As long as that’s worth it to you, test away."- MadHatter_1391 "NTA." "I think it is a wonderful gift for them and I hope they use it."- Bill___A "NTA." "This is all happening because she either lied or didn’t know who your real father was." "Only person to blame is herself." "She’s the a**hole."- celestialastrid101 "NTA." "You didn't call her a wh*re but if that's how she feels....well maybe she should have made some better decisions like not sleeping around."- minimoonprincess "NTA." "They can choose whether or not to take the test." "If they don't want to take it, the kit can go to someone else." "Check in genealogy Facebook groups or with friends."- DoIQual123 "NTA, but this is hilarious." "This is the literal version of FAFO."- mssleepyhead73 "NTA." "Your mom lied about your parent." "Your siblings need to know who their father is in case there is relevant family health information that they need." "And they would have done that on their own if you hadn't bought them the kits."- Riker_Omega_Three "Easy NTA." "Mom shouldn't have slept around and then lied about it." "She's protecting herself and her reputation." "If she thinks you're calling her a wh*re, that's just how she views herself and her past actions, and she's trying to find a scapegoat from her own thoughts."- Xlaits "You are NTA, as long as your siblings approve." "Just know that it isn't uncommon for people whose parentage is in question to be disinterested in the truth." "A member of my extended family's father was in that situation." "His mother refused to identify his father and always said she'd take the information to the grave." "She did." "I bought the family member a DNA test and he gave me access to the results." "When I narrowed down the possibilities to three men in a specific family, that family member contacted his dad to see if he was interested in the results." "He wasn't."- nofaves "NTA." "I would cut your mum off."- Extreme-Suspect399 "I mean." "She's just being incredibly defensive." "You're NTA, but her reaction makes sense considering the situation." "She doesn't want a 40-year-old secret to come out. It's kind of huge." "But you're definitely doing the right thing for all your siblings." "Crazy that your mom has lied to your family your whole lives."- tigerbackrub "Buying DNA test kits doesn't do anything to express feelings about your mom's sexual history." "It only expresses that you think your siblings deserved to have some certainty around who their dads are." "Your situation made it clear that your mom's statements about who got her pregnant can't be assumed to be accurate." "She's the one calling herself names, not you." "You are NTA." "You mentioned she has self-esteem issues." "She may also have problems with chronic feelings of shame around her past behavior." "She needs to forgive herself and move on." "Four decades later, you were just looking for factual data."- throw05282021 There were a select few, however, who felt that the OP needed to let this go, and leave whether or not their siblings wanted to take DNA tests up to them, and not force it on them by giving them tests: "I think YTA." "DNA test can change families especially if the main player is deceased." "You took a DNA test and found out your dad is not your dad." "It seems like you're hoping your other siblings will find out something similar."- Electronic_Farm_4633 Since the OP was lied to for most of his life, it's understandable why he might have felt compelled to get DNA tests. His siblings being adults, they were under no obligation to use the,/ One also hopes that, if the OP's mother has anything to hide, she will do so before the OP's siblings find out for themselves. Even so, the OP must remember that family is defined by far more than DNA. --- ### Knitter Livid After Discovering Brother's Girlfriend Donated Blanket She Made Her Without Telling Her **Published:** October 16, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/give-away-blanket-reddit/.md We're all taught to accept that it's the thought that counts. Indeed, when someone makes the effort to either buy or make us a present, we should react with gratitude, whether we want to or not. Sometimes, however, when we say "you shouldn't have" to someone who took the trouble to give us something, we might actually mean what we say. Redditor Winter-Profile recently went out of their way to get their brother's girlfriend a birthday gift. While the girlfriend seemed to like the present, the original poster (OP) later discovered she wasn't being completely genuine. Eventually confronting her about her lack of appreciation. Wondering if they were wrong for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors: "AITA for being annoyed that my brother's girlfriend donated a blanket I made her?" The OP explained why they felt the need to confront their brother's girlfriend over a recent gift: "Hi all, long-time lurker, first-time poster on this forum." "I knitted my brother's girlfriend a blanket for her birthday after she admired one I had made for myself." "I'm not a great knitter and it took me quite a long time to make, and I bought the wool myself in colors I thought she would like." "The wool was real wool and quite expensive, more than €100." "When I gave it to her she said thank you and seemed happy with it." "Anyway, over the weekend I was in a charity shop and saw the blanket there." "I texted her and asked her about it and she admitted she had donated it." "She said she wasn't really using it, that she 'found it a bit itchy' and donated it because she thought someone else might like it more." "I know technically it's her gift and she can do whatever she wants with it, but it took a lot of time to make and the wool was really quite expensive, and I am still really upset about it. It was part merino wool as well so I don't know why she's saying it was itchy!" "I also feel a bit stupid because I spent hours making this yoke for her and I thought she genuinely liked it, but it turns out she didn't even want it." "Maybe I am stupid because I kind of thought they'd someday use it in their future kids' room or something and tell them how Auntie RaRa made that blanket when we were still going out." "My brother says I'm overreacting and says he doesn't understand why I'm taking it personally." "He says she liked that I made it for her but she just didn't use the blanket enough to keep it." "I don't think he understands the effort that went into it though." "It's not like I bought some rubbish on Temu for her." "Also, if someone spends that much time and money making something especially for you, surely it means something that you couldn't be bothered to keep it?" "Obviously this is awkward because she's my brother's girlfriend and I don't want to cause problems for him or our parents, but I feel like if she was a caring person she would have cared more about something made for her." "Anyway, AITA here, or is she for disrespecting my time and money?" Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community generally agreed there were no a**holes in this situation. Some felt that the OP's frustrations were justified and felt this was a lesson not to give their brother's girlfriend any homemade presents: "NTA but you know for the future not to make her anything - I would have bought the blanket from the charity shop and had it prominently displayed in my home." "I seriously would get her a gift card for the next holiday."- marblefree While others felt that the OP had a right to be upset, their brother's girlfriend also wasn't out of line giving the blanket away: "You're absolutely allowed to feel sad that she gave the blanket away." "It's completely natural to be hurt that someone gave away a gift that you hand-crafted for them." "However, it was a gift, and once you gave it to her, it was hers to do with what she wished." "A person isn't obligated to keep a gift, even a handmade one." "NAH."- Wild_Ticket1413 "NAH." "I get it's upsetting when someone doesn't like something you've spent ages on, but that's a risk when you make a gift without asking preferences." "And she probably thought that at least this way it could go to a good home where it would be appreciated." "As for merino not being itchy, did you check that she's not allergic to wool?" "Even the finest wool makes me red and itchy so I wouldn't want that much wool in the house ideally." "And as someone who crafts, you definitely need to accept that anything you make will get get destroyed / thrown out / regifted/ lost eventually. Its just how it goes sadly."- NothingButSquids "Controversial take: NAH." "It’s just unfortunate you happened to see it." 'You’re entitled to your feelings because it DOES suck." "But she doesn’t have to love every gift and indefinitely store it." "If you were her kid maybe, but I think it’s fair if she just didn’t vibe with it." "She didn’t throw it away but tried to donate it."- ExchangeMotor425 'I am a knitter myself so I know this judgment will be hard to take." "I know that because I feel enraged for you and instinctively wanted to type NTA, but I think the real judgment is NAH." "It's clear she didn't appreciate the gift or understand how much time went into it, but at the end of the day she reacted appropriately on receiving it, and that's all one can truly expect from a giftee." "I know it's hard to swallow at times, and especially times like this, but once a gift is given it is the giftee's to do as they like with." "That includes giving it away, or even throwing it in the trash." "She seems to have wanted to find a home for it with someone who might appreciate it." "She didn't sell it or trash it." "You can't make her like or save or use it." "It sucks a lot but you've gotten a lot of important info from this, really." "First is, don't knit for this specific person again." "But I think a broader lesson you should try to take from it is that, when deciding to knit for someone, you should do a lot more than here to try to figure out if there's something they'll really want and like, unless you know their tastes very well." "I know it takes the fun out of a surprise." "But if you want to make sure someone will appreciate a handmade item, the surest way is trying to discuss what, specifically, they want beforehand." "In terms of how to go forward, it sounds like you've told her how you feel clearly, and it also sounds like she'll have to be part of your life for the foreseeable future." "So to be honest, I'd go ahead and apologize for overreacting, saying something like 'I'm sorry if my reaction about the blanket came across very strongly. It actually took me x hours to knit, and I made it with you in mind, so it was hard to see it had been given to a shop. I would have preferred to have it back myself. However, I know that the blanket was yours and it was your choice what to do with it. I hope we can move forward from this situation and continue to have a positive relationship'."-MargaretHaleThornton "As someone who knits, kind NAH here.' "Look, I craft and knit so I know what you mean." "You want to make something NICE for someone else, and you know the time, effort and cost it takes you." "It bloody hurts when the person doesn’t actually appreciate or get the effort you went through for heir gift." "But at the same time, it sounds like she didn’t ask or expect a blanket." "She may have admired it, but I’m not reading that she explicitly wanted one and then rejected it." "Plus, she may have admired yours, but sometimes it’s only through wearing something that you discover that you actually hate it." "I once made a winter hat, using two tones of expensive supposedly soft and non-itchy wool (I want to say it was alpaca, but I really don’t remember) and I ripped it off my head within 15 minutes of wearing it because I discovered that any kind of a knitted or crochet thing covering my forehead even slightly makes me go nuts." "I’d spent weeks learning that knitting technique and money on that yarn so I was pretty pissed off at myself for not being able to tough it out. And it was supposed to be non-itchy!" "So I kind of get her - she may have truly liked yours blanket AND the gift, but if she found it unbearably itchy and knows she won’t use it, the best scenario is to either give back to you or donate or regift." "It sounds like she wasn’t rude to you when she told you about it, she was just factual so I don’t think she was in the wrong." "You aren’t wrong for feeling hurt either, but she didn’t ask for you to go through all that effort and it sounds like she did appreciate it - it just didn’t work out."- NightSalut It couldn't have been a nice discovery for the OP to have discovered the blanket they knitted in a charity shop. Arguably, ignorance is bliss, and the OP never needed to know that their brother's girlfriend didn't like the blanket. Regardless, confronting their brother and his girlfriend won't change her opinion. And who knows, maybe it will find its way to someone who will treasure it the way the OP wanted it to be treasured. --- ### Man Tells Brother's Religious Girlfriend Not To Come Over If She Believes House Is Haunted **Published:** October 16, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/girlfriend-religion-ghost-reddit/.md In the United States, between one-third to about half of people surveyed believe in ghosts, with results showing roughly 33% to 53% believing in the supernatural or paranormal activity. While some believers find the idea fascinating, others find it frightening. A new owner of an old home turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after a sibling's significant other offered dire warnings about their home. TangeloOverall4010 asked: "AITA for telling someone not to come over to my 'haunted house'?" The original poster (OP) explained: "This is probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever typed." "Last year, my family moved into our forever home. It is a Victorian house around 150 years old." "Becca is a VERY imaginative child. She loves fairies, unicorns, ghosts, cryptids and all those kinds of things. She also plays pretty intense make believe games, draws vivid pictures, has an imaginary friend, the whole nine yards." "We did ask her pediatrician about it at her last yearly checkup just to be on the safe side because she's so... colorful with it, but he said there was nothing concerning and Becca seems well adjusted and happy- we agree." "Since moving, Becca insists that a ghost lives in our house as well. It's apparently a nice ghost and hasn't caused any mischief, so we said sure it can stay." "My brother's girlfriend 'Amy' (30s) is religious, and it wasn't a problem until she heard Becca talk about our 'ghost'. Then it was suddenly 'your new house has evil energy' and 'can I pray for you' and 'I don't know if I feel comfortable in your house'." "I don't want this type of talk around my child, and it's starting to feel like she's judging our parenting. Amy will not stop, despite us telling her it is quite clearly the musings of a seven-year-old who also thinks that a fairy lives in our garden." "We're having a Labor Day BBQ this evening. Amy was on another one of her tangents last week, so I texted her and my brother together saying if she's taking my 7-year-old at face value that our house is 'haunted' and it's that scary, Amy doesn't need to come to the party. We'll see her for dad's birthday at the end of the month." "That went over spectacularly, of course. Amy reacted so negatively that my brother actually started defending us, and I think their relationship might be over." "I feel badly about that, and only that, and that's why I'm asking. Should I just have ignored Amy?" "AITA?" OP later added: "Amy said that our house either had something demonic or, if Becca truly made it up, we're allowing her to believe in things that will ruin her." "The ghost seemed more like a playtime element for Becca. Her other imaginary friend she's had since age 4. They hang around when she's not 'playing', like sometimes they come to dinner, sleep in her doll beds. Haven't heard about them in a few days though, I think they're on vacation." "My wife also asked me to include this, just to drive home how insane Amy is being: Becca spends hours playing with American Girl dolls and has two historical characters." "One, I'm not sure of her name, is from the Revolutionary War and Becca loves to have her be a 'spy'. Amy said that was teaching her to be 'sneaky'." Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "NTA. She's scared of what's essentially a kid's imaginary friend." ~ FishWithLegsAndArms "NTA if she can't follow your rules in your house than she can stay home." ~ ThOncomingStorm "Exactly! She's trying to instill fear into OP's kid, so it's best she keeps her distance and OP's brother probably dodged a bullet." ~ Keira_Kissable "Yeah, the ghost and the fairy are allowed to stay because they behave themselves. If Amy can't do that, she can't come over." ~ zaffiro_in_giro "Right? And if she truly believes the house has an 'evil energy' why would she want to go to it?" ~ AgreeablePanda9805 "It could still be religious. My parents used phrases like 'secrets are lies' to convince us any thought we had in our head and didn't share was a lie, therefore a sin. Religious abuse doesn't only use explicity religious things to harm people." ~ britneys_bigtoe "But why would she want to go to a demon-possessed house anyway? She’s just there to cause trouble." "That’s just the way some people like to live—they live to create drama, where they are the center of attention. Can’t have a cute little seven-year-old getting all that and not her." ~ Shadow4summer "You’re NTA, especially since you’ve double-checked with her pediatrician. It’s pretty age appropriate and fairly common especially with only children. ~ GeekySkittle "Next time she goes off about you letting your daughter believe in things that will ruin her, you should reply, 'Ruin her? It's just a harmless little ghost. It's not something dangerous like a religion'." ~ 1pinksquirrel1scotch "Isn’t their Big Three the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost? ~ LunarBIacksmith "Good point. They switched it to 'spirit' at some point to disassociate it from the spooky ghosts, but we all know it means the same thing." ~ 1pinksquirrel1scotch "For the record, I had several imaginary playmates as a kid. One named Casper comes to mind, he was my fave. I would say I'm relatively normal, have a family and a career of almost 40 years, and I'm a productive member of society. So tell Amy she's the nutso one." ~ brneyedgrrl "OP, for what it's worth, there's a certain kind of Christian (usually on the Evangelical side of things) who believes that they're under constant 'spiritual attack' by 'demonic forces'." "Those folks believe that those forces don't attack like opps in a video game. Their methods are subtle, They weaken your spiritual defenses by tempting you with non-Christian things that appear benign like books, movies, and other media, toys, basically any things or ideas not approved by their churches." "It sounds like your brother's girlfriend subscribes to those sorts of beliefs. I think you're doing a good thing setting that boundary and keeping Amy away from your daughter. That sort of thinking teaches children to fear their own imaginations." "I have relatives who embraced similar thinking, and I'm grateful that my mother (a religious person herself) shut that crap down hard when I was Becca's age." ~ HouseOfEclipse "As someone who does believe in the paranormal, even if her 'ghost' friend is truly a ghost or not, at least she says they're nice!" ~ Little-bad-witch "Absolutely NTA. That kind of talk could take your daughter's imaginative playtime and turn it into a load of fears that she doesn't need." ~ TOASTisawesome "NTA. The American Girl doll thing is what would end it for me. Amy heard Revolutionary War spy and decided a 7-year-old is being groomed into deception. That's not religious concern, that's someone actively looking for reasons to be offended by your kid existing." ~ SugarGliderxox "Yep, you’re exactly right. At 65 I have a fear of the dark because my grandmother made sure to instill that in me. I was never afraid before she came around." ~ Shadow4summer "NTA to ask for her tangents to stop or for her just not to come over. Religious overzealous escalation by her isn’t under your control. Your brother’s relationship dissolving because of this isn’t either." ~ Horror-Giraffe7508 "I think they saved the brother from a miserable existence if the relationship actually tanks. ~ chita875andU "You don't need to entertain her religious mania or her religious persecution complex. NTA. ~ X-Himy "NTA. I'm fascinated to hear what on earth Amy said that made him consider ending the relationship. Your kid is yours to protect. And Amy was getting a bit too intense with things. ~ Sweet_Cinnabonn "I can almost guarantee this was not the one single thing to end the relationship; it probably just happened to be the last straw of many unhinged actions." ~ Quarantini "NTA, saying those things about the house is a gross misuse of religion and fear mongering." ~ Skerklderkl "Your delightful, imaginative child does not have to listen to this kind of idiocy from Amy, and her insistence on suggesting 'there is evil' in your beautiful home, simply because your child has an imagination, is obviously absurd." "NTA, and Amy can take her own vivid imagination somewhere else." "That said, children are very sensitive to their environment, and it says to me that you have created a very happy home for her, if her imaginary friend is happy and friendly." "And who knows? If her ghost is 'real' to her, that sounds like a budding novelist to me. Personally, I'd love to have fairies in my garden." ~ Any_Assumption_2023 "You're NTA. Amy is off the rails and if this keeps up (in case they're not broken up), it's time to start having some fun with her. Maybe the ghost can say she is on the wrong path and needs to (insert life change like go become a missionary)." ~ Dittoheadforever "NTA, this is parenting 101: let child explore and be creative, protect child from horrible people. Good job, parents!" ~ Sweet_Ad2074 OP's responsibility is to his daughter. Placating his brother's girlfriend isn't. --- ### Redditor Considers Separating From Husband For Not Buying Them A Birthday Present After Buying Himself An Apple Watch **Published:** October 16, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/husband-birthday-watch-reddit/.md We can all agree that the economy is tough right now, and it's hard to make ends meet and afford additional expenses, especially when we need to get a new phone or other device. But when we need to make an additional purchase, whether for someone we love or for ourselves, how we prioritize our money matters, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit. Redditor Free_Fox_9933 had been with their husband for nine years and felt like they'd always done a little bit more to honor his birthday than he had honored theirs. But when their birthday came and went with no birthday present, and no acknowledgement of the lack of a gift, right after he'd purchased himself a brand new Apple Watch, the Original Poster (OP) felt like the end of their relationship was imminent. They asked the sub: "Am I overreacting by thinking about separating after my spouse didn't buy me a birthday gift but bought himself an Apple watch?" The OP's husband did not acknowledge that he did not get them a birthday present. "My birthday was on Tuesday. Usually, my husband of nine years will greet me and give me my birthday present when we eat together at dinner." "So this year, he greeted me and proceeded to eat dinner. I ate my dinner and waited to see if maybe he would give me a present after dinner." "We finished dinner and there was no present, and no acknowledgment of no birthday present. It took me bringing it up." "So I asked, 'Have you bought me anything for my birthday?'" "His reply was, 'No, I don’t have the money to do anything for you right now.'" The OP no longer felt like a priority in their marriage. "Now, I understand that the economy sucks right now. However, he just bought himself an Apple Watch just one week prior." "So I told him that when his birthday comes at the end of the year, I’m not acknowledging it." "I also feel like during these nine years, I acknowledge his birthday a bit more than he does mine." "Every year I make him a homemade cake, spaghetti, and good ol’ midnight fun. Plus a birthday gift." "For me, it’s not so much about the gift; it’s about him not telling me that he wouldn’t be able to get me a gift." "AIO?" The OP updated their post the next day. "He called me while on lunch break. I told him that I’m not in the mood to talk, and he doesn’t understand why I can’t move past this." "I hung up. He then said a gift is coming tomorrow via text." "I’m thinking separation is imminent. All of this just to get him to understand. I just don’t have it in me anymore." The OP updated the post again when the gift arrived. "I actually got a gift today: a cheap, Amazon knockoff of an Apple Watch. It's still in the box, and he's on notice that it's either marriage counseling, or I'm out." "I did some digging, and let's just say I found out some things that led to him not having money, and none of it involves me or our household." "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some agreed with the OP that it wasn't really about the gift; it was the lack of acknowledgement. "NOR. It's not really about the lack of a gift; it's the complete lack of care." "I mean, even if he hadn't gone out and bought himself something expensive just prior to this and money was tight, surely he could have coughed up some money to get you a little trinket? After nine years together, surely he could think of at least one thing that's low cost but would make you feel appreciated?" "Legit, one year when my mum had helped me financially, 'all' I got for Christmas were Disney napkins and Star Wars band-aids." "We're talking like a $5 gift. I LOVED it, because I love Disney and I love Star Wars, and it showed my mum knew that, and while she couldn't justify giving me something big due to her prior financial help, she still wanted me to have something as we opened gifts with family." - AltruisticCableCar "Not overreacting. My ex was like that; it was like it hurt him to say happy birthday. He would also pick fights on my birthday even when I didn’t give in to the fight. Then months later, he would buy himself something and say it was for my birthday. So glad that's over." - Plenty_Ad_4935 "Girl, you have much more enormous problems than simply not getting a birthday gift. For Christ's sake, wake up." "It’s not 'just a birthday gift.' He intentionally ignored your birthday and was barely even willing to say Happy Birthday to you." "Saying he couldn't get you a gift because money is tight after he got himself a quite expensive gift a week earlier is not, in fact, over the gift itself, but where he sees you as fitting into his life." "There’s a deep negativity underlying those choices. That's not how a loving husband behaves." - LissaBryan "NOR. Your husband has excused himself for not prioritizing you. You’re right, it’s not about buying you a gift; it’s about his attitude and his seeing you as important enough to celebrate in any way." "If you explain this to him and he can’t see it or doesn’t care, your marriage is not working for you. I’m willing to bet this is more a pattern than just your birthday." - Justaroundtown "NOR. This sounds like my ex when he was cheating." "I was an afterthought; money was for him and hookup apps, meals out, gas to travel, etc. Money was always tight, but only because he was spending it on himself." - wanttoplayball "NOR. This is a signal that your relationship is dying and he’s lost feelings for you. A radical change like this truly is relationship-ending. He has someone else, or he doesn’t love you anymore." "My suggestion is to withdraw and give him a chance to miss you. He will either be jolted by how he almost lost you, or he won’t care. Either way, it will be decisive." "All the things you used to do out of love, just stop, and put all your energy into yourself. Go out with friends, spend time looking and feeling good, take up a hobby you’ve been putting off." "This will give you back your confidence and will help you recover if your marriage does end, and it also shows him what he’s missing if there is a chance to salvage." "Chasing him, or being vulnerable, is the wrong strategy when someone has gone cold and dismissive. The only response I’ve seen work is to make them miss you." - HappySummerBreeze Others pointed out that the husband should have been able to afford something small, even after the Apple purchase, for his partner of nine years or more. "I can't imagine being with someone for nine years and not knowing of small and cheap things that would at least say, 'I see you, I know you, I appreciate you, I love you.'" - No_Interview_2481 "H**l, if she makes him a cake, he could’ve made the effort to make her a really nice dinner and a cake. Or if he’s a bad baker, heck, make a nice dinner and buy a nice cake (he’ll even a Costco sheet cake cause those are often amazing). Just SOMETHING." - Revan462222 "A 'Happy Birthday' costs nothing, and he couldn’t even do that. My husband and I rarely do birthday gifts anymore; if there’s something we want, we buy it. But we still remember each other on our birthdays (and he usually takes something over I may not want to do that day, so a gift in itself)." - Shadow4summer "NOR. Reminds me of my friends who got given Pokemon cards; she has no interest in Pokemon, and the boyfriend of five years took them back and opened them and added them to his collection." - Great-Muffin4660 "My charmer didn’t wish me Happy Birthday, either. Instead, he tossed out the words, ‘I suppose we could go to the beach for fish n chips’ in a tone that meant it was the least attractive thing in the world to do and then ignored me all day." "This was the third year in a row with this charming behaviour. I had a very enjoyable peanut butter sandwich and initiated divorce." "Don’t wait as long as I did. Life should be better than this." - withcatlikegrace "Buy yourself an Apple Watch for his birthday. If he doesn't love it, ask him why he's making such a fuss." - TangerineCouch18330 The subReddit was furious on the OP's behalf because of what the lack of acknowledgment on the OP's birthday communicated about the lack of feelings and forethought the husband was keeping for the OP. If he really cared about them, he could have at least done something small to recognize their birthday, or put their birthday before the Apple Watch. --- ### New Mom Outraged After Mother-In-Law Rearranges Baby's Nursery Without Asking Her **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/mil-change-nursery-reddit/.md For some people, the most important thing they'll ever do is have and raise their children. Sometimes this is to the point that they'll be difficult for new parents to be around, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit. Redditor Time_Age_6326 had a strained relationship with her mother-in-law, especially since her young daughter was born. Not only did her mother-in-law regularly second-guess her choices, but the Original Poster (OP) was shocked and furious when her mother-in-law completely changed the nursery she decorated for her child. She asked the sub: "Am I overreacting for being furious that my mother-in-law rearranged my baby's nursery, threw out my things, and not apologizing now that my husband says I'm 'making a scene' about it?" The OP had a strained relationship with her mother-in-law (MIL). "I (30 Female) have been married to my husband Daniel (32 Male) for four years. We have a five-month-old daughter, Nora." "My MIL, Carol, lives about 40 minutes away and has been helping since Nora was born." "Last Thursday I had my first appointment away from the baby, a dentist visit I'd rescheduled twice. Carol offered to watch Nora at our house for two hours; I said yes." Carol went far beyond "helping" while the OP was out of the house. "I came home to find my nursery completely different. The crib was moved to the opposite wall, away from the window; the changing table was on the other side of the room." "Even the curtains I picked out were gone. In their place were plain white ones Carol brought from her own house. I asked where my curtains were. She said, 'In the hall closet. They were too heavy; they're a hazard. I read about it.'" "Then I noticed the little sleep sack routine I'd set up was undone. She'd swapped the sleep sack for a loose blanket 'because Nora looked cold.'" "I calmly took the blanket out of the crib and explained that we follow safe sleep guidelines from our pediatrician, which means no loose blankets." "Carol got teary and said, 'I raised three healthy children. I think I know how to keep a baby warm.'" "I said I appreciated her help, but Nora's sleep setup wasn't something to change without asking us." The OP's husband called her out and demanded she apologize to his mother. "She left in tears. Twenty minutes later, Daniel called me from work and said, 'Mom said you snapped at her and made her cry after she spent her day helping. Can you just apologize? She means well.'" "I said I didn't snap, and I'd be glad to thank her for the help, but I wasn't going to apologize for following our pediatrician's advice." "He said I was making this bigger than it needs to be and that I always assume the worst about her." "That last part hurt, because I've bitten my tongue a lot. She's commented on my cooking, my 'Instagram parenting,' and once told Nora in front of me that, 'Grandma will teach you how things are really done.'" "Tonight Daniel asked if I could 'just smooth things over' before Sunday dinner." "I said I'd be polite, but I want him to talk to her about the sleep rules, and he refused." "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some reassured the OP that she was not the person who needed to apologize. "Girl, do not apologize. Someone needs to work some sense into your clueless and spineless second child." - throwaway112766 "It sounds like you were very cordial. Rearranging your baby’s nursery, especially to the point of removing things and replacing them with her own, was egregious. And in two hours is impressive, almost like it was planned or knew you’d object." "I’m surprised your husband doesn’t feel more protective over the things YOU set up for YOUR baby that she changed without asking. It’s not just curtains; it’s nesting choices you made as a mother for your baby in your home, and they deserve more respect. The apology is owed to YOU." "I’m sure she does mean well, but the raw tears, like you were insulting her whole maternal capabilities for gently correcting wild oversteps (oversteps that actually kind of undermine you as the mother), need to stop. And your husband needs to correct it. NOR." - supergirlssister "NOR. The arrangement of the furniture. I would be livid. Clearly preplanned because she knew what she was doing would not be appreciated. I would feel so violated, and if my husband took his mother’s side, I would be popping off to stay with my parents for a few days." - thaleia10 "NOR. Are you married to my ex? My MIL did the same thing. On repeat. She was very pushy, and her idea was always better." "I would come home to my house rearranged, foods and leftovers that she didn’t like thrown away out of my fridge. My ex and his brother said, 'Just ignore it and put the stuff back where you want it after she leaves'!" "Then my ex gave her a garage door opener and door key so she could just let herself in whenever she wanted, to 'help.' She came in one day a few months after my twins were born while we were napping and started shouting, 'Hellloooo! I’m here! Where is everyone?' She woke up me and the babies. I was furious." "Did I mention that he is now my EX?" - Teacher67 "Take the child and go stay with your parents or a friend, and tell your husband that you won't be coming back until the nursery is put back the way it was before your mother changed it, and his mother no longer has a key to your home." "Tell him, 'This is my child, not your mother's. Until she understands that and accepts it, I do not trust her around our child. You are the father. Being a father comes before being a son. I know this is hard, but your mother overstepped, and you have to do something about it.'" - Riker_Omega_Three "NOR. I’d suggest that you stress to your husband that your MIL did not offer her help. Instead, she waited until you’d be gone to change your nursery to reflect what SHE wanted." "None of these changes were beneficial, and some were actually harmful to your child. Your husband’s (and your) first responsibility should be to protect your child - not to pacify an adult woman who behaved poorly." "Your MIL is completely in the wrong. The issue is that she resents that you’re standing up for yourself and your baby. You might want to push your husband hard on this. If he doesn’t recognize the true problem, marriage counseling may be the best option." - Mermaidtoo Others agreed and said the OP had a husband problem as well as a mother-in-law (MIL) problem. "Your husband has no spine. You have a husband problem. NOR." - cartiercilla "NOR. She had those curtains in the car, ready to be swapped in for the other ones when she had the chance." "The first rule of baby is to go by whatever the mama of the baby says. No sane person should interfere, no matter what kind of thing they want to do, no matter how helpful." "Now, if before you had the baby and were working on the nursery, she could have suggested curtains that she already had. But the nursery was already established. You chose the curtains, the sleep sack, the arrangement of the furniture." "Tell your husband he’s a spineless twat. His first priority is his family, not his mother. His mother is kind enough to watch the baby, but it’s not in her purview to make decisions about changing up the baby’s stuff." - Specialist-Jello7544 "As a husband, you need to have a discussion with your husband. He thinks he has to protect his mom's feelings vs protecting the mother of his child?" "It’s also HIS job to make sure his own mother knows the boundaries. What a coward. Thinks it’s a 'mom thing' making his male life difficult." - anoncot "Your husband sucks. Ask him why he is okay risking your baby’s health by going against doctor advice just because he can’t handle the mild discomfort of setting boundaries with his mother." "This is a big problem, and it will only get worse. NOR." - noeinan "NOR. I'd send your jellyfish-spined husband and his mommy links on SIDS and why safe sleep precautions are absolutely necessary." "Yes, she raised children, but she did so about 32 years ago (depending on whether he has any younger siblings). There have been many advances and new information since then that has resulted in these precautions and other safety requirements (vaccines, etc)." "He needs to husband/father up and have your back with his mommy. Good luck, OP!" - Trippedwire48 "So, if you rearranged you MIL bedroom, because you 'were being helpful,' and she got upset, would your dear husband have your back?" "She did that plus made an unsafe sleeping situation for YOUR CHILD!" "YOUR CHILD, she doesn’t get to make any decisions regarding the setup of the baby’s room IN YOUR HOME, or question you about the safety or sleeping situation FOR YOUR CHILD!" "She had HER CHILDREN, and raised them the way she chose; now it’s your turn to raise your child the way you see fit, and to decorate and arrange rooms in your home the way YOU CHOSE!" "Maybe Sunday dinner for you and baby is on the back burner until your husband removes his head from his a**; and MIL apologizes for overstepping in someone else’s home." "Good luck." - Grouchy-Storm-6758 "You have a husband problem. If he won’t back you up, then you have bigger problems." "Who goes in and rearranges someone’s nursery? If your husband won’t stand up for you, then you have no choice but to do it yourself." "Things have changed so much since MIL had babies. I’m amazed at the things new moms know now that we thought were safe 25 to 30 years ago." "If MIL can’t accept she overstepped, then she can’t be in your home unless you are there." "I would trust my daughter and DIL’s ability to do what is best for their children more than my opinion. Things have changed so much, and you young moms have access to so much more information than we did." "Stand your ground. This is a hill I would die on, and I am a MIL. I know my place, and first and foremost it’s not to do anything in my adult children’s home without them asking." - Top_Philosopher1809 While the subReddit could understand the OP's mother-in-law being enthusiastic about babies and wanting to be involved, it wasn't her place to decide how to raise her granddaughter, but to trust her adult son and daughter-in-law to make the best decisions and respect them. It might be "just" a nursery, but it spoke volumes about her lack of respect for her daughter-in-law, as well as all the ways she'd likely trying to undo the OP's parenting as her granddaughter grew up. --- ### Redditor Asks If It Was Wrong To Steal Twin Sister's Ashes From Husband To Honor Her Last Wishes **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/steal-sister-ashes-reddit/.md Some people have very specific requests for the final disposition of their bodies after they die. While it's recommended that people make those plans known to family and friends before they die, and to pay in advance if possible, there isn't a way to ensure a person's final wishes are followed. A sibling trying to honor their twin sister's final wishes turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback. DontBeAJerkOnline12 asked: "AITA for taking my sister's ashes to honor her wishes because her husband wasn't going to?" The original poster (OP) explained: "My twin sister passed away last month after a hard battle with Leukemia. She was only 32, but she knew death was coming and had made peace with it." "In preparation, she made an entire three-ring binder detailing what she wanted to happen after she passed, including what she wanted to happen to her body, what songs she wanted at her funeral, how she wanted to be remembered, everything. It was very clear, and she was firm in what she wanted until the end." "Part of what she wished was to be cremated wearing a specific dress and then wanted her ashes to be turned into jewelry for her closest loved ones to wear close to their hearts. She was very clear she wanted to be put into jewelry because she always had her favorite jewelry on (it was her style)." "Now that she is gone, however, her husband has decided he does not want to turn her ashes into jewelry, but rather, wants to put them in a cemetery with a headstone so he can have some place to visit her." "I understand he's grieving, and people grieve differently, but she was very explicit with her wishes, and now he's disrespecting her by not following them. So I took her ashes from his house, and now I feel slightly guilty." "AITA for wanting to honor her wishes?" OP later added: "I did not technically 'steal' the ashes or commit a crime. My sister had a will that explicitly stated her remains were to be shared equally among the family." "However, I was the one who signed her cremation paperwork because her husband was unavailable. Legally, I committed no crime." "I would also like to add that my twin was very claustrophobic and hated dirt. She had a legitimate fear of being buried and the only thing that brought her peace was the entire family promising she would not be buried (her husband promised as well)." "So please stop with this sexist commenting about her husband 'owning' her ashes. He does not. He never 'owned' her. No one 'owned' her, and he does not have more 'right' to her body/ashes than anyone else." "He looked her in her eyes as she was dying and PROMISED to honor her wishes. She chose to marry him, yes, but I know she would be on my side here and that's all that matters." "I truly don't understand the thought process of all of these commenters that her ashes 'belonged' to him. She was a beautiful, free-spirited, FEMINIST, BAD A** of a woman who didn't BELONG to ANYONE, let alone a man. You would find me dead with her before I let a man disrespect her whether she's alive or dead, ESPECIALLY now that she cannot speak up for herself." "I do not want to discredit my BIL's grief. I understand she chose to marry him, and while others may think she got 'stuck in a uterus' with me, we chose each other over everyone else time and time again. We were each other's biggest advocates, supporters, and enforcers." "My only point is that I feel as though I am enforcing, advocating, and supporting her one last time. Clearly, a lot of people think when you get married, the only person that matters is your spouse. My sister didn't feel that way. Clearly." "Hence why she made her wishes so clear to include everyone. I understand my BIL is grieving, but he was not honoring her wishes, and regardless of whether it was me enforcing her wishes or an outside party, they should still be enforced despite his grief." "Again, his grief, nor mine for that matter, should not outweigh her final wishes. That does not make his grief not valid." Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed The majority of Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA), but it wasn't a unanimous decision. "NTA, she wrote down what she wanted. I know it's not legally binding (unless she went through some significant legal steps), but it's the right and decent thing to do. A compromise would be to just split the ashes, but it's probably too late for a reasonable solution." ~ HylanderUS "Your sister deserves the respect and burial SHE wants. Yes, her husband is grieving, and that’s hard and a pain I can’t imagine. But what I can imagine is how I and so many others have been steamrolled over decisions over our bodies." "As long as he truly had no intention of finishing his wife’s wishes—then you did the right thing. He doesn’t get to decide what and how her body is done with—she does. Even if she’s not here anymore." ~ SpiderlandsJester "I agree with you, NTA. If he had no intention of following her wishes, he is TA for that." ~ falloutgrungemaster "Unfortunately it's not surprising that even in 2026, what a man wants with a woman's body matters more than what a woman wants to do with her own body.... Hopefully one day things will change, and it will be a surprise if it happens because bodily autonomy will be the norm." ~ Cute-Shine-1701 "A woman can't even be a pile of dust and have her body of dust respected." ~ splithoofiewoofies "I am an identical twin; my sister has been my best friend since before birth. If I died and my partner planned to go against my wishes and do the one thing I said I didn't want him to do, I would hope my sister would stop him, and I would do the same for her." "Do what your sister would have wanted, her husband is the a**hole for not following her fully laid out plans." ~ Skroto_Bagginz "YTA. She's not here anymore, so she can't know what happened to her ashes and she can't be annoyed about it. It's far more important to make the lives of those who are still alive easier." ~ Isaaker12 "Honestly, I think NTA. You shouldn’t have just taken them, but I think it’s really sad that her husband doesn’t want to honor her dying wish. I’m glad you’re doing that for her. I’d do anything for my sister, so I can see why you would too." ~ D1n0saur5 "NTA. Husband is ignoring his late wife's VERY EXPLICIT wishes. What's wrong with you people defending him‽‽ I want to be composted, and I can assure you that if there is an afterlife and my husband buries me in a coffin I will haunt him for eternity." ~ Basic_Lynx4902 "NTA. I’m a twin and claustrophobic, and I would be livid with my husband if he did that & would hope my twin sister would do the same thing you did. From one twin to another, you did the right thing." ~ lisa1234052496 "NTA. She was clear about what she wanted, and he's going against her wishes. Should you have gone about it differently and in a more legal way? Yeah. But it sounds like he wasn't going to listen." ~ TheGrumpyBadger "NTA. Yes, he's grieving, but your sister was very explicit, and I'm sorry, but you knew her for longer, and you know what she wanted. If she explicitly said she didn't want to be buried, he is being selfish." "He can buy a headstone and not need her ashes to visit it if he wants to, the fact your sister went through such detail as to what she wanted and her husband glossed over that is frankly ridiculous." "If I died and my partner disrespected my last request, I would haunt the f*ck out of them." ~ greybutmakeitgay "NAH. Grief messes with everyone's judgment. My mom's biggest regret when my dad died was not following his wishes. He wanted to be cremated; his mother wanted him buried." "It still weighs on her 22 years later. Honestly, you get so many ashes out of cremation that y'all could share. It only takes about half a cup of ashes for a diamond." ~ kyleecurtis6701 OP provided an update: "For those asking, my parents were legally my sister's next of kin and the executors of her will. The family allowed my BIL to hold on to her ashes; however, as he was her spouse and we respected their marriage, we love my BIL." "He and I had many conversations about him changing his mind in honoring my sister's wishes, and taking her ashes from his house was an emotional and impulsive decision. This also all happened earlier today, so he has no idea I have them. For those of you that are concerned for him, feeling he has lost her twice." "I will return them to his house without him knowing and continue our conversations. Hopefully he will change his mind, or we can come to an agreement. I will pray for peace and clarity if he does not change his mind, and my parents will ensure everyone is able to honor my sister in their own way." Hopefully OP and their brother-in-law can come to some sort of agreement. --- ### Teen With Germaphobia Demands Dad Replace Mattress After Sick Grandpa Got Bodily Fluids On It **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/germaphobe-replacement-mattress-reddit/.md What to do with aging parents and grandparents is a problem an increasing number of people are facing as people live longer and birth rates continue to drop. A daughter turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback over her father's plans for her grandfather. Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. Interesting_Froyo_83 asked: "AITAH expecting my parents to buy me a fresh mattress and furniture?" The original poster (OP) explained: "Recently my old grandfather (81, male) (let’s call him A cause I don’t consider him a grandfather) started living with us after he slipped and hurt his elbow at my aunt's house." "I (17, female) hate him. He does tobacco, smokes, and curses 24/7, including slurs about women, while me, my mom, sister, and aunt (his literal daughter) are in the house. A also hates staying at the hospital, so even me and my sister who don't give a f*ck about him are subjected to his terrible attitude when he’s sick and is going in and out of hospitals." "When he arrived in a wheelchair a week ago, my dad practically yanked my mattress, cupboard, and plastic table out of my room to make our living room A’s hospital ward. For now, I am sleeping on the floor with a thin mattress." "During the course of the week, A has dirtied the bed, purposefully thrown plates of food, and done other disgusting things because he hates the medical treatment going on. My dad and aunt are sick of his tantrums, but have no choice but to look after him, or else he’d die." "My dad told me today that since A is now staying at our home permanently, he is going to buy new furniture for A and will return my mattress, table, etc... this weekend. I told him flat out I don’t want those things anymore and if he’s buying new, might as well buy it for me." "I know it might seem silly, but I don’t want a mattress which god knows if it’s even cleaned well off of A’s bodily fluids and other stuff A’s been using." "My dad thinks I am ungrateful and should go to a mental hospital (I am a germaphobe and have OCD, he knows that). And also that karma would come after me for my behaviour?" "I told him, 'Why don’t you go and sleep on A’s mattress and use his belongings?' to which he said no and that I was being difficult." "I am planning for if things get worse. My mother is out of town cause she doesn’t like my grandfather and doesn’t want to deal with this, but she’s hopefully coming home next week and will probably end up siding with me and convincing my dad." "I wish A’s children would put him in a nursing home—he has retirement funds and gets a pension. It’s probably because A detests the idea of going to a nursing home or a place offering hospital-like care." "He gets triggered and throws more tantrums. My dad gets scared that what if something happens to his health when he has outbursts so they just shut up and give in to A’s demands." "AITAH telling him to buy me a new mattress, etc... because I don’t want my old stuff back?" Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not wrong to not want to take back a soiled mattress and furniture (NTA). "WTF is dad thinking? First off swiping his kid's stuff to make a makeshift ward is already wild. If anything, I'd go find something at least temporarily or give my own bed up before I'd take my kid's stuff. Absolutely NTA. Old man needs to go to a home and dad needs a kick to the head." ~ Extra_Routine_6603 "Tell dad that when his time comes you won’t be putting him up in your house if he continues to treat you this way." ~ Original_Pudding6909 "Literally everyone is the a**hole besides you. I’m so sorry, that sucks! Worse comes to worse, mattresses on Amazon are ridiculously cheap these days, so start saving up for one while you’re on the ground." ~ vibrantgh0st "Is your mother OK with your dad making long-term plans and permanently reshuffling the living room for a guy she hates? Does she know about this? It might be worth contacting her if you can." ~ andersoortigeik "Please call your mother beforehand as soon as possible and talk about the situation. It could end badly if your dad lies to her about the situation or downplays it. Just in case. ~ SpaceCofffeee "Sorry, we're not all saints who tolerate a broken-down old fart FIL who craps everywhere, stinks out our homes with tobacco, abuses everyone including those caring for him, is violent & has tantrums. You need specialist training to deal with violent dementia, and that's no 17-year-old's job nor the job for the wife of his son." ~ Dont-Blame-Me333 "A needs to be in a nursing home. The mess and the tantrums will only get worse and more violent. If your parents have no choice but to keep him with them, plan your life to be moving out asap." "Otherwise I guarantee you will very soon be "A"'s new nurse and personal mess cleaner.I wouldn't want that mattress back either. NTA. Just make an escape plan." ~ TheScottishFoxyBiker "How soon can you move out of your family's house and be on your own? This dynamic is extremely unhealthy. Obviously NTA but you need to start planning your exit strategy now." ~ LabInner262 "Also, OP should go NC immediately once she moves out. If this is how they treat their own daughter, who gave up so much for this pig, then they don't deserve to be in her life either once they force her to be independent." ~ QuestionableCompany "If your mattress isn't good enough for your father, why is it good enough for you? A mental hospital may be the best option for you, because it would get you out of the house." "Next time he threatens that, take him up on his offer. He won't do it, but if he did, the intake people would quickly realize there is a problem at home, and it probably isn't you." "My mom kicked me out when I was 17, then reported me as a runaway. It didn't take long for the Department of Children to figure out who was the problem." ~ jadedinmo "Actually, this isn't a bad idea. Call his bluff, and when he follows through, CPS will get involved, and the senior protective services will get involved too." ~ Rockie_raccoon12 "My stepfather threatened me with military school, so I started getting brochures and picking out the ones I was interested in. He dropped that so fast, and the truth was I actually wanted to go." ~ badpuppeh76 "NTA. Don’t sleep on a biohazard. Your dad is the biggest a**hole here." ~ Immer_Susse "NTA. This sounds awful, but you will be able to use those new items for years, and your grandfather will only need them for a short time. Your dad is wrong. About everything." ~ OldInitiative8325 "Get your ducks in a row for when you’re 18 and can move out. You’re not wrong, but your dad called you crazy instead of having a rational conversation with you. You weren’t much better in your delivery, but I understand you HATE this man, and he deserves the hate." "My parents tried to force a relationship with my grandparents after I turned 18, and it did not work out for them. My grandparents are similarly stuck in their ways and hateful. F*ck em." ~ Chaotic_Natbot "NTA. It's disgusting he wants you to sleep on a mattress that gramps pissed on. You get the new mattress. You were a trooper for sleeping on the thin mattress on the floor. You have a horrible father. Tell them to put Gramps in a home or with another relative." ~ Known-Ability8050 "Maybe now that aunt has pawned him off on your dad, you can go stay with her? NTA, but I won’t say they are either. Familial guilt can be deep, deep ingrained into us." "I know my mom could never live with me. It would destroy my sanity and my marriage. (She has BPD). My brother also wouldn’t take her. But I don’t know when it comes down to it, if it’s us or the streets, would we have the balls to leave her on her own?" "That’s just to try helping you see the position your dad is in. And buying the new things for his dad may be his, however unrealistic, hope that it’ll help mollify the cranky old b@$t@rd." "Your dad, though, needs to call him out on things he says that aren’t right. I had an uncle that lived with me, and I had to tell him straight up he couldn’t use racial slurs. It’s his house and he can lay down rules. Try going to your aunt's until he dies, or when you’re 18 you can do whatever you want." ~ khampang "NTA. I would sleep on the floor before I would sleep on that mattress now. I have covers on every mattress in the house, all purchased new, because the idea of sleeping on a soiled mattress is enough to keep me awake." ~ Decent-Initiative-42 OP needs to have a serious discussion with both of her parents. --- ### Woman Accused Of 'Undermining' Dad By Buying Younger Sister Pads For Her Period **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/withhold-period-products-reddit/.md During a normal menstrual cycle, bleeding typically occurs for 3 to 7 days. Anyone who is going to cohabitate with someone who menstruates should probably get over whatever hangups they have about a standard biological function. It's going to happen regardless of whether people are squeamish about it or not. A daughter turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after her father denied her teenage sister access to menstrual products as punishment. Extension-Moose-67 asked: "AITA for buying my little sister pads?" The original poster (OP) explained: "I can’t believe i’m even here, but i’m getting a lot of backlash. I (27, female) have a little sister (16) Mona." For relevance, i moved out 6 years ago and have been low/no contact with our father and my stepmom (Mona’s mom). As a result, they limit my contact with Mona, but she’s knows she can always call me if she needs me." "Now on to the issue, Mona was on her cycle and in a lot of pain and needed pads, so she asked our dad to get her some on his way home, and he refused because 'he’s a man' and all that ignorance. Mona got upset and called him dumb, and he said he was going to, but since she has an attitude, he won’t." "So she called her mom, and she also refused. Might I add i hate her but that’s a whole other story." "Our sister Claire (21) says she’s staying out of it. So Mona calls me, and I go puff her some with no hesitation, along with snacks and medicine." "Now i’m getting calls and text from my dad's side of the family saying i shouldn’t have undermined him as a parent and rewarded Mona for being disrespectful. I’m starting to second-guess myself." Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was "Any functioning adult who thinks denying a child menstrual products is an appropriate punishment needs their head examined and their access to children evaluated. Your father, your stepmother, and his family are all massive a**holes. NTA, OP." ~ MohawMais "Pads are not a reward. They are a necessity. A teenage girl whose family won't get her pads is being neglected. You did the right thing. All of the other adults in this story are making terrible choices. NTA." ~ 14linesonnet "Neglected, she was on her period and in pain and didn't even get pads, let alone medicine for the pain? That's abuse in my book. Like you say, pads are a necessity, it's good this kid has OP to help her." ~ LisaCabot "This! So much this! She was outright neglected by both parents and her other sister. Pads aren't a treat for being polite, not having them is unsanitary. They are a necessity. If she had bled through on something, was the father gonna yell at her, tell her she should have waited to have her period until she had what she n needed?" ~ catsknowtoomuch "Maybe if she had bled on her parent’s bed sheets they’d have gotten a clue." ~ logical-sanity "I mean, good chance he is one of those men who think it can just be held in until a more convenient time." ~ LittlehouseonTHELAND "That’s not just neglect, that’s denying someone necessities." ~ Eccentric_Genius "You’re 100% right that it’s abuse. Menstrual health is considered a fundamental human right. If a mandated reporter found out about this, they’d call CPS." ~ ll98105 "Since he thinks they aren't a necessity, it is time to play along with that. Free bleed all over his couch until he starts advocating for them being a necessity. Don't forget to buy a skirt first, wouldn't want to ruin your clothes." ~ zangetsuthefirst "No, seriously, because that's not a comfort item. It's a necessity in the same way having clothes on your back is. I think it's abusive to make it conditional like that, to maintain a certain attitude (mind you, she wasn't even wrong) over getting period products like pads. Shame on everyone in the family besides OP." ~ PhilosophyUnique9491 "Exactly. You wouldn't take away your child's toilet paper as a punishment. And what exactly is mom or dad going to do when she gets blood on their furniture?" "Sister is right. Her parents are f*cking morons. OP if they do this again, call CPS." ~ MermaiderMissy "I’m male. Any REAL man would have gone out of his way to provide such things as needed. He has a male appendage, and is one as well." ~ Correct_Advantage_20 "Exactly! My husband has never hesitated once in picking up necessities for me or our daughters! My girls had no qualms about asking dad to pick up some for them before he came home when he worked at the store." ~ cgodwin1976 "My husband regularly picks this stuff up for me and if he's not sure what I need, he will gasp ask someone for help. It's usually accompanied by some form of treat and pain relief, just in case." ~ Medical_Syllabub_148 "Right?? My dad would pick up pads when any of us needed them and that was nearly 50 years ago when some men (like this dad) would have actually teased him." ~ CoffeeKat66 "Since dad obviously thinks pads are a reward, I would buy him some for Father’s Day, Christmas and his anniversary. Problem solved, right?" ~ Silent-System4382 "I agree, that's like denying medication to someone who is sick. The fake macho BS is ridiculous. I bought my daughter feminine products whenever she needed them and I'm no different than most dads." ~ Emotional-Tree-8935 "Terrible choices? They're Terrible people. OP, they are awful. That's really ridiculous! Thank you for being the one your sister can count on! NTA, but they are!" ~ CommercialExotic2038 "Obviously NTA. Menstrual products aren’t a reward or a privilege, they’re a basic f*cking need. Your dad and stepmother suck. Thanks for being there for your sister." ~ Socksgonewrong "NTA one bit. Ask your dad's side of the family would they rather a child sit in pain soaked in her own blood because a grown man is so immature that he cannot deal with period products because they're icky?" "Refusing to get her basic hygiene products is flat out abusive, plain and simple. How does his side of the family even know about this? Did he vent to them that he refused to buy pads for his daughter and they all just like, agreed with him?" ~ Hermiona1 "I couldn't ever imagine a scenario where a family member would tell me they refused to buy sanitary products for their daughter because she was acting entitled, so her sister had to get the stuff, and my immediate thought being 'I need to go berate the sister RIGHT NOW, the father is in the right' and not 'you're actually an awful parent, I'm now going to lay into YOU for an hour about why'." ~ serpentmoonabz "Op should say something along the lines of, 'Oh and you think, MONA was disrespectful, let me tell you a few paragraphs about what a terrible, childish father YOU are so you can see what real disrespect looks like'.” ~ myssi24 "You were being a good sister... A good HUMAN. What was the alternative? She bleed all over their furniture?" ~ elsarah "Your dad is an a**. Your sister needed personal items and you got them for her. I understand why you are low contact with him and his wife." ~ Sweaty_Technician_90 "Undermined him? What kind of sick f*ck are we talking about here, who thinks period products aren't a requirement?! Is she just supposed to bleed on/through everything? NTA." ~ m00nbeamer "NTA. You can't 'undermine him as a parent' when he's barely acting like a parent at all. What was she supposed to do? Bleed onto the furniture and ruin upholstery and her clothes?" "The only response his family should get is 'Sanitary items are not a reward. They are necessities. Maybe if he provided those necessities and did his job as a parent, he wouldn't feel undermined'." ~ Panaccolade "Let's review. Your kid sister was in need of medical supplies. Her dad refused to get them because he's too manly, but oh, he was only kidding and was totally going to get them, except she sassed him, so now he won't. Sure dad, sure." "Her mom refused to get them because....? Your other sister refused to get them because she knew your dad would be mad at her for 'undermining' him. So you bought them." "What the heck is wrong with the women in your family? I'm used to men being idiotic about periods, but why didn't her mom have her back? And is your dad so abusive that your other sister is scared of angering him? NTA." ~ Sweet_Baby_Grogu "NTA. Don't question your kindness. You did the right thing. Can't say that for the other adults in her life. Thanks for being there for your sister." ~ Quicherbichen1 OP decided providing menstrual products to her sister was more important than whatever lesson her father was trying to teach by denying her access to them. Why anyone opposes that is baffling. --- ### Grieving Parent Calls Out Sister-In-Law For Buying Her Reborn Baby Doll Made To Look Like Dead Son **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/reborn-doll-gift-reddit/.md For those unfamiliar, a reborn doll is a handcrafted art doll that is meticulously painted and weighted to look and feel just like a real human infant, often using photos of a child. They can be purchased as a nostalgic keepsake for a child who is grown up or as a memorial for a deceased child. While some grieving parents find them comforting, some people find the dolls unnerving. A grieving mother turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after being gifted a reborn doll. Justhearmeoutokaypls asked: "AITA for telling my sister-in-law (SIL) that the reborn baby she gave me was disturbing and inappropriate?" The original poster (OP) explained: "I recently lost one of my twins, he was 6 months old. I don’t really want to go into the details, but it has been extremely difficult for me and my husband. It hasn’t even been two months, so I’m still very much grieving." "Before this happened, my SIL and I were actually really close. She loved my boys and was always around them, so I know she loved my son who passed away. I am not questioning that." "Yesterday my husband’s mom had a small birthday party at her house. It was basically just immediate family, kids, grandkids, etc..." "At the party, my SIL stood up and started talking about how we should hold our children close because you never know when the last time you’ll get to hold them will be. In the middle of the speech, she handed me a reborn baby doll…" "The doll looked almost exactly like my baby. I mean REALLY looked like him. It wasn’t a random baby doll, that sh*t was made to resemble him, and my SIL even had one of the toenails painted because I used to paint one of their toenails to tell them apart… like what‽" "She handed me the doll and basically said, 'So you can have both your babies.' My flabbers were gasted. I took the doll in the moment because I didn’t want to make a scene at their MOM’s birthday party, but I was extremely uncomfortable." "I pulled her aside and told her that I thought what she did was weird and distasteful and that it really upset me. I asked her why she would give me something like that when my baby had literally just died." "She got mad and started saying things like, 'You think I’m trying to be funny?' and 'You think I didn’t love my nephew?' She basically acted like I was accusing her of not caring about my son. She also said something along the lines of, 'Who do you think you are? We accepted you'." "What did that have to do with anything? You accepted me‽‽ I've never felt like an outsider before, but my son's death honestly opened my eyes." "That’s not what I was saying at all. I know she loved my son. I know she was trying to do something for me. But that doesn’t change the fact that receiving a realistic doll that looks like my dead baby, in front of my entire family, during a speech about losing children, was extremely upsetting to me." "I don't know what reaction she was expecting from this. I never took the doll home. I left it there. Now we’re not speaking." "My husband is quiet as can be on this. We've been very sad, so I'm not blaming him at all. I just get a bit overwhelmed with taking care of things myself lately." "I understand that everyone grieves differently, and maybe some people would find something like this comforting. But I personally found it disturbing and painful, especially considering how recent my son’s death was." Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "NTA. I get that reborn dolls can be therapeutic for some people. But this is a gift that needs to be talked through with the mother, not just dumped on her as a surprise. Maybe she meant well, but she *massively* overstepped." "The reborn dolls should NEVER be a gift, they should be done by the parents with both parents (and ideally a psychologist to make sure its done as a healthy coping mechanism) involved in the decision and purchase." "The only time some from outside the grieving parents should be involved is when the parents express desire for one but cant afford one, at which point the outsider can say 'let me help with that'." "SIL sounds so selfish and out of touch, not just for the doll but to bring up the situation that isnt her child AND ON SOMEONE ELSES BIRTHDAY AS WELL. She just went and made 3 things about others about herself." ~ Environmental_Art591 "Yeah, agree, they absolutely can be therapeutic when discussed in grief counseling, and with professional input and planning on how they'll be used to help the parent manage their grief." "But not from a SIL, at a celebration, out of the blue. Genuinely, what was she thinking?! It's like she saw they're used in therapy and ran with it?" ~ donkeyvoteadick "My personal guess is she wanted to be the hero who swooped in and blessed a grieving mother. Sounds like she made a big show out of it, too." "Also just realized how sh*tty the MIL must feel to have her birthday party hijacked this way." ~ Nocitae "Exactly. You can ask if someone would like one, you can’t just get one for someone." ~ SqueakWrites "I struggle to see how it is well-meaning in the context of her speech saying hold your children tight… way to rub salt in the wounds there, SIL. That’s a speech you give when the grieving parties are not there." "I’m so sorry, OP. This is an absolutely heartbreaking position to be in, and I can’t even imagine how you are feeling. To have someone be so thoughtless and insensitive at a time like this is just so horrifying, and I’m just at a loss to express how awful I feel for you. Absolutely NTA. You will be in my thoughts." ~ Normal-Tale6425 "Exactly!! These dolls are creepy to most people and not a standard way to handle grief. This would be a conversation before ordering kind of thing." "SIL felt she knew best how to comfort OP. I’m sure it was shocking and disturbing for both OP and her husband. SIL made a huge presumption and she was wrong and should apologize. NTA." ~ crackersucker2 "I bet SIL showed the doll to someone, or told them about it, and they told her not to give it to OP. They probably said something like, 'Is this a joke? Don’t be cruel.' So when OP rejected the doll, SIL got defensive and angry and went on the attack. NTA, OP. But SIL is a giant one. I’m so sorry for your loss." ~ Hari_om_tat_sat "It felt like SIL was making it more about her feelings rather than listening to OP’s feelings. ~ MrNemu "Giving a mother a doll of her dead baby…. In public…. At her mother-in-law's birthday party. SIL has tipped her hand. One weird thing is just a weird thing.. all of these together? I don’t think the gift was ever intended to have a positive impact." "That SIL was looking to wound from the start. OP, I’d keep contact with the SIL low. You did nothing wrong." "And you need to figure out where your husband is in all this and file that information away for the future. No major decisions yet, but keep watching. You need to find out if you have a SIL problem or a whole family problem." ~ Deradius "SIL is trying to make the whole thing about her. Seems like a pretty narcissistic attitude rather than empathetic. Sorry for your loss OP, I hope you can find some peace in all of this." ~ snertwith2ls "It's also weird that she throws out 'we accepted you' like it's not the basic thing you do with your siblings spouse. Like, it doesn't cost you anything; why are you treating that like a favor or something? SIL is a weirdo. Seems to me like she didn’t want to accept OP and is throwing that back at her like she did her a favour." ~ Professional-Low5390 "And then gets mad at her for not being grateful for her weird 'gift'. I wouldn't have one of those things in my house and that's only because I think they're creepy, nevermind OP's even better reasons for having nothing to do with them." ~ trowzerss "What got me was 'the who do you think you are'. Who do YOU think you are? My child's soon-to-be estranged Aunt because, like hell, would she be around my kid or me after this blow-up while I was grieving a six-month-old and raising another, presumably on top of dealing with everything else from normal postpartum changes and baby adjustments." ~ ThatDiscoSongUHate "Even if SIL was well-intentioned, she should have seen how this would be extremely upsetting and inappropriate. Have there been other times when she has done things that weren't socially acceptable? Trying to ascertain if this was meant to be healing with poor delivery or extremely cruel. People respond strangely to grief so perhaps that could be behind her actions." ~ RescuesStrayKittens "I think if it was meant to be healing, why did she react so nastily when OP objected? Sounds to me like it was performative and SIL got angry about her performance being rejected." "I just can’t imagine any decent person not being mortified and apologetic if they gave something to a grieving mother with good intentions only to find out it was painful and seen as deeply inappropriate." "Getting angry and it all resulting in not speaking is crazy and to me indicates that SiL is a bit of a sh*t/self centred at heart with a big fragile ego that matters more to her than anyone else’s feelings." ~ KittyGrewAMoustache OP and her husband are dealing with their grief and an infant who just lost their twin. They don't need their sister-in-law's baggage piled on top of that. --- ### Woman Irate After 'Misogynistic' Date 'Insults' Her In Front Of Waiter For Interrupting Him **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/misogynistic-insults-date-reddit/.md While dating is supposed to be fun and the best way to find new love, some people are just not meant to date each other. Fortunately, people can get out of dating someone, and no reason is too small or petty, members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit pointed out. Redditor Mental_Driver_6134 had been dating a guy on and off for over a year, and while things were okay, there hadn't been a particular reason to make the relationship more serious. When they went on a date, and the guy publicly insulted her for interrupting him and speaking out of turn, the Original Poster (OP) was not certain it was worth going on another date with him or continuing to string this situationship along. She asked the sub: "Am I overreacting by being angry that my date rudely talked to me and insulted me in front of a restaurant waiter?" At a restaurant, the OP's date wasn't being clear while speaking with the waiter. "I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off. We discussed the order and were in a good mood overall." "When the waiter came to take the order, he started explaining him something about his preference for a particular dish. Basically, he didn't want too much garlic in chili burnt garlic noodles." "Everything was going fine, but I saw that he was taking too much time explaining it and wasn't really getting to the main point, which was less garlic." "I chimed in and casually said, 'We just want less garlic.'" "But I couldn't even complete the sentence before he said to me in front of the waiter, 'If you're gonna cut me off like this, I'm not giving any orders, okay?!' in the rudest way possible." The moment ruined the date for the OP. "I just went quiet after that. He quickly realized that he made a mistake and tried to cover up by saying that, 'Okay , I won't shout at you next time onwards.'" "I was really p**sed off but didn't react much to avoid creating a scene." "On our way back home, he started with his explanation. He said that I tried to make him feel small by cutting him off and lacked basic etiquette and that I should have at least said, 'Can I give my opinion here?- before cutting him off." "It kept getting worse as he said that since he was the older one and 'The Man,' I should not have interrupted him and let him give the order." "The whole tone was so misogynistic." "He even mocked me for not knowing how to use chopsticks properly, which I didn't mind as basic banter, and I told him that there are forks and spoons kept here; it's not necessary to use the chopsticks (he ended up dropping his dumpling while explaining to me how to use chopsticks)." "When the noodles came, he said that we could use forks then, and I was like, 'No, why not use chopsticks here, as well? You should watch more anime, maybe,' and he then went on to brag about having been to many five-star restaurants, which implied that he knew more than me and that I lacked any 'real experience.'" The OP was over it by the end of the conversation. "I was too exhausted from this; it seemed so nonsensical that I left later and told him to maintain a distance." "Later he was saying that I'm stuck on such a small thing and that he won't shout again, but it was my mistake that I tried to cut him off (which wasn't my intention at all)." "Also, sidenote: He's like four and a half years older than me. I met him last September and on and off many times with a few months of minimal contact. These offs end with him acting as if nothing happened." "This incident was the calmest he's behaved if compared to past situations, so you can guess what the worst may have looked like." "I only gave him a chance cause he was trying to control his anger issues. But I think you can't expect a 29-year-old to fix the misogyny." "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some reassured the OP that she was right to be upset. "He was s**tty, but it was her fault; I just love that. NOR." "If she hadn’t interrupted his highness, none of this would have happened. Why can’t she just admit it?" "I’m so glad I’m long out of the dating pool. There is no bar anymore; it’s what can I get from you while I treat you like s**t. Man, the good old days of dating are long over." - Shadow4summer "NOR. The 'I'm the man' line revealed everything OP needs to know about him. He couldn't handle a simple, harmless interruption, so he tried to humiliate her in public to regain control. Taking his own dumpling dive while trying to act superior is peak karma, honestly." - virelaczi "NOR! If a 'small' man tries to put you down in public on a date, run the eff away! It doesn’t matter if it’s two dates, two months, or two YEARS!" - Delicious_Winner_819 "Not overreacting, this man is clearly insecure and controlling. Not to mention a misogynist. Instead of being on and off, just be off. It's better to be single than to be with someone who tries to make you feel less than." - curiouscuriel "'I know better than you.'" "Should tell you ALL you need to know about this 'man'. Go and find somebody who will treat you as their person... and not an object. That is what is not sitting right with you." "NOR. And bloody run!!! I wouldn't even give him the time of day after an experience like that." - pootling_1976 "My ex would constantly say, 'You're interrupting me.' I was not. He was a psycho." "This is how it went, for example:" "Him: I am ordering chicken and snow peas and white rice ." "I start to say ANYTHING (the place is on effing fire!), and he would berate me, 'You interrupted me, you ALWAYS do that, I can never speak, blah, blah blah.'" "I say, 'Lucifer (what I call him behind his back), you took a long pause. I waited, and I thought you were done.'" "Then THAT becomes a pile of s**t convo, more berating... He was so manipulative and verbally abusive; I cannot even scratch the surface here." "So, no. That date is a Lucifer, and you should never even speak to him again." - Belmontisnowhideous Others pointed out that the OP didn't have to keep dating him if this is how she felt about him. "Great news! You do not need to spend any more time with this guy." - Blue-flash "If you marry this guy, this behavior will only get worse. He doesn’t respect women, and he probably never will. I'd stop dating him now before you waste more time." - Additional-Start9455 "NOR. Don’t waste another minute of your life on an angry man. He’ll get worse, not better. Just find a guy who doesn’t need fixing." - Broad_Pomegranate141 "I mean, him being an insufferable smug jerk is not a small thing." "'I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off.' But this strikes me as an elephant in the room." "It isn't often that good, healthy relationships are on and off again. And given how profoundly rude he was, how immediately he doubled down, how condescending, etc., I can't help but think this isn't the first time he's been gross as a partner." "NOR, but really ask yourself what you're doing here. This can't be the life you hoped for, and you know he isn't going to change as well." - Traeyze "NOR. There's no way to live with this kind of man, honestly, and OP should definitely leave this guy." "A year of on and off with kind of behavior is basically a preview of the next ten." - NoEar4226 "NOR. I've broken up with guys like that by telling them they were right all along. I'm just not smart enough for him. He deserves someone on his own level..." "Hopefully he picks up the hint and does some self-reflection for his future dates (with other women)." "For what it's worth, I have two post-graduate degrees." - PomeloPepper "When someone treats you like s**t, you do NOT have to stay with them, no matter how long you've been together." "Unfortunately, my therapist had to explain this to me a short time after I started seeing her because my parents never gave me any autonomy to make my own decisions. I didn’t know that I could just leave places that I didn’t feel safe in because it wasn’t an option for me until then." "Some people do need to be given permission to do what’s best for them because of the way they were treated by their parents." "Hopefully she does leave him because he sucks, and with the way he treats her, things will likely get worse for her." - Accomplished_Dig284 We've all heard the advice to not cry over spilled milk, but clearly, this date must fuss over garlicky noodles. To the subReddit, it wasn't worth continuing to date a man who clearly had anger and control issues, especially given everything going on in society right now. The OP would be better off staying single for a while or dating someone new, preferably someone who respects their differences about noodles and chopsticks. --- ### Woman Wants To Quit Role As Dad's Airbnb Manager Since He Doesn't Reimburse For Repairs **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/airbnb-property-management-reddit/.md Airbnb began in 2007 when founders Brian Chesky and Joe Gebbia inflated three air mattresses in their San Francisco apartment to rent during a sold-out design conference in their city. From there, they launched a simple website with Nathan Blecharczyk, offering air beds and breakfast to travelers when local hotels ran out of space. As of 2026, Airbnb boasts over 9 million active listings across more than 220 countries and regions with more than 2.5 billion guest arrivals and 5.5 million hosts worldwide. Some people buy properties just to turn them into lucrative short-term rentals, but someone needs to manage those properties. A daughter roped into her parents' investment property plan turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback. Slow_Thanks_1733 asked: "WIBTA for moving out of my parents' duplex and quitting as their Airbnb manager?" The original poster (OP) explained: "A year ago, my parents (60s) decided to buy a property to rent as an Airbnb. They wanted a property in the city where I (25, female) live (over 2,000 miles away) that they could use for visits as well." "My dad found a duplex in a great neighborhood and became enamored with it. The main issue was how my parents would manage the Airbnb from afar." "They offered to rent me one of the units cheaply in exchange for running an Airbnb in the other." "They'd be the landlords, taking financial responsibility for the property. I'd be responsible for guests, cleaning, and scheduling maintenance/improvements." "For context, my family is well off, but my parents have never coddled my siblings and me. They expected us to be independent once we had jobs. I chose a career in what I love, but doesn't pay well." "I never asked my parents for money, buy they knew that I was not doing as well as my siblings, who have high-paying jobs. At the time, I was living with roommates in a lower-income neighborhood. I suspect this arrangement was a way for them to help me without just giving me money." "Initially, I was excited. Living on my own in a nice neighborhood was a dream come true. But I worried about renting from my parents. My dad has a history of letting little problems around the house become big ones." "He is stingy about maintenance, and I worried that this would be worse in a property 2,000 miles away. Plus, he refused to put anything in writing because it was 'between family'." "Despite my reservations, I decided that the pros outweighed the cons and we bought the property. I moved in and began running the Airbnb. For a few months, everything was fine." "Then the problems started. It was little things at first: one of the toilets needed a new fill valve. I fixed it for $20, but when I asked my dad to reimburse me, he said, 'It's only $20, it's not a big deal'." "Then a set of blinds had to be replaced. He again wouldn't reimburse me, saying, 'It's just blinds; it's not a serious problem.' I was upset, but I let it slide because I know they could be renting my unit for a lot more and they're doing me a favor." "Then, this week, a storm caused one of the trees in the yard to split. It was a huge safety issue. An arborist removed the tree, which cost $1,500. My dad refused to reimburse me because 'the tree wasn't over the house or driveway so it wasn't urgent'." "I was appalled. A split tree is a big liability, regardless of its location. Moreover, my dad has set a precedent of putting issues with the duplex onto me, despite originally agreeing to take financial responsibility." "I can't keep footing the bill for everything that goes wrong. If my dad can't agree with that, the only path I see is moving out and quitting the Airbnb." "My parents would either have to manage it themselves from 2,000 miles away or hire a company. I know they are doing me a favor, but it's causing strain on our relationship and my finances." "So, WIBTA for moving out and leaving them to deal with the duplex?" Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP would not be the a**hole (NTA). "NTA. Try withholding these expenses from your rent and sending copies of the receipts to your parents. If your dad complains about the lesser amount, tell him it's 'not a big deal'." "Seriously, though, have a talk with him. He needs to realize that if you leave he's going to have to hire a property manager and that's going to be a lot more expensive. Even if it means he can rent both sides for full market price in the long run it's going to cost more." ~ Stock-Cell1556 "Pretty clever of the parents to convince OP that they are doing her a favor instead of the other way around. I bet the parents even believe that's true." ~ FeuerroteZora "NTA. They don't trust your judgment as the property manager. They're going to have a rude awakening when they hire a professional. Especially one that is willing to manage short-term rentals!" ~ pubesinourteeth "You need to stop paying rent and pay when The debts are paid. But i would look ay moving out." ~ Maleficent_Pay_4154 "The fact that she's paying for repairs on a property she doesn't own is wild. Her dad can't call it a family arrangement when it benefits him and then dumps the expenses on her. I'd be looking for a way out too." ~ Mrithyunjayan07 "Next month, send reduced rent with an itemized list of what you've paid out of pocket thus far, and they cannot continue to do so. As an Airbnb, the property needs to be in good working order." "If they balk at that, contact a couple of management companies with prices of their services. It will prove to cheapo dad how much you are worth that they're not paying for. And you can bet the management company will not pay for repairs and ask to get reimbursed!" "If this doesn't convince your folks they're taking advantage of you, find another place to live. It might be the only way to prevent resentment and save your relationship with your parents." "NTA. Tell them the $1500 to haul away the downed tree is cheaper by far than a $250K lawsuit from an injured Airbnb customer." ~ Impossible-Guard-409 "Actually, OP should start deducting their costs from rent. If rent is $1,000, pay them $980 with a memo 'Rent minus $20 toilet repair.' For the tree removal, pay $100 'Rent minus $900 for part of tree removal.' Next month subtract the remaining $600. If your dad explodes over this, then move out." ~ JustKindaHappenedxx "This is the way. If $20 is no big deal, it shouldn’t be a problem for him not to get it." ~ OkeyDokey654 "That’s what I did when I rented. I sent the receipts to the landlord with the rent payment, no questions asked. He was a good guy and wonderful landlord." ~ 1zapper1 "Yes. Tell dad, 'I paid for X, Y and Z in maintenance. I will consider that my rent for the next three months.' If he balks, he's the one who decided to keep it with family. You have more leverage than you think, so make sure they know that." ~ RandomCoffeeThoughts "You shouldn't have to pay your own money to voluntarily manage someone else's property, even if it's your parents. Your dad is taking advantage of you, and if anyone rolls out the 'family take care of family' line, point out that your dad is the one failing to take care of you." "If this were me, I'd walk. You should too. Let your dad pay someone else to do what you were doing for free." ~ sapperbloggs "NTA. Either you get a clear written contract that empowers you to perform or order maintenance as you determine it is needed with structured payment terms from them AND repayment of all of the money spent so far, or they can hire themselves a management company that will demand the same thing from them. This thing where you’re responsible, but not empowered, is ridiculous." ~ KaliTheBlaze "Set aside a portion of the AirBnB proceeds for property maintenance. Or, keep track of the expenses and deduct them from your rent." ~ NieleDaKine "You are actually part of the problem. Your father wouldn't reimburse you $20, or for blinds, yet you spent $1,500 on tree removal? You say you can't keep footing the bill, so dont." ~ RainbowSherbert-2035 "In OP's defense, $20 blinds are a whole lot easier to shrug off than a $1500 tree removal, especially when you're dealing with your own parents. To find out your own father is screwing you over, whether it's expected or not, still hurts." ~ Illustrious-Network5 "NTA. But stop paying for things and arranging appointments. They can pay upfront for stuff or you don’t handle it. Honestly, I’d move out and then take them to small claims court." "Do you have text messages proving they said they’d bear the financial burdens of their own properties? If so, that's enough evidence to get your money back. Def move out. It isn’t worth it." ~ LadyHorseFace13 "NTA, but try to talk to your parents first and let them know that things can't continue the way they are going. If they own the property, they are responsible for the maintenance, which means either they pay someone to do it, or they can reimburse you by either repaying you or by letting you deduct it straight from your rent." "If your dad won't budge, then it's time to move. Also, remind your dad that failure to maintain the property will have a noticeable effect on the Airbnb side of things, up to and including them kicking the property off of the site." ~ Appropriate-Mall9781 OP thought they were getting a great deal that's turned into a headache. 'If her parents won't pay for needed repairs, OP will need to look elsewhere for a place to live. --- ### Pregnant Mom Stunned When Husband Wants To Go On Boys Trip A Month After She Gives Birth **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/boys-trip-pregnant-reddit/.md While mortality in childbirth has fallen, no birth is guaranteed to be safe for either the mother or the child. Having a reliable partner around in the weeks leading up to and after the birth is important. A wife whose husband doesn't understand that turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback. Glad_Start8410 asked: "AITA if I tell my husband he can't go on a boys weekend?" The original poster (OP) explained: "I (27, female) am currently 39 weeks pregnant. I am due on the 15th October 2026. "My husband's (45, male) friend had decided to plan a boys weekend the first weekend of November. The baby might not even be a month old and I myself would be not even a month postpartum." "I also have a 4-year-old at home and I will be going back to work the first week of November. My job at the moment can only give me a month of leave because I am a temp (whole month of October)." "WIBTA if I got upset that he wanted to go on a boys trip so soon?" Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP would not be the a**hole (NTA). "NTA—age gap strikes again." ~ BriefHorror "These older men acting like children, seeking out children to marry. That's an almost 20 year age gap." ~ nuwaanda "Yup, he locked her down with a baby when he was in his 40s and she was in her early 20s and her frontal lobe hadn’t finished developing and she didn’t have enough life experience to see how much he sucked." "Which is exactly why he went after her." "Now here she is wondering if she’s the a**hole when anyone who hasn’t been manipulated by him for years into thinking his BS is normal is like 'You’re OBVIOUSLY not'.” ~ Ashitaka1013 "Weird that a man in his 40's married to someone in their 20's is acting immature." ~ spacedman_spiff "Women his age have learned not to put up with this crap." ~ dudleymunta "I can assure you, a man like this has literally never dated a woman his age ... at least not since HE was in his early 20s. As a woman in my 50s, I have encountered far more of these men than I like to think about." "They haven't been rejected by women their own age, because they're such misogynistic Aa**holes that they'd never consider dating a woman their own age to begin with. They see women not as human beings but as accessories or prizes, and they feel entitled to the youngest, prettiest, most pliable and fertile ones they can hook." "They would tell you that women their own age are 'dried up' or 'harpies' or whatever other viciously misogynistic, hypocritical bullsh*t they can dredge up." "But they certainly don't date women their own age, not because of rejection, but because they'd have to invest in a real, meaningful relationship and be held accountable for their sh*ttiness, and they'd never do that in a million years. These are the men on dating apps who are in their 40s and will only even look at women under 30 to date." ~ Sorry_I_Guess "As a father to two, I cannot even imagine entertaining the idea, let alone asking if it's OK. ~ ThatRecruitmentGuy "NTA. Absolutely f*cking not, he shouldn't have even asked. ~ shortasiam "My partner had the most amazing career opportunity that has ever and will ever happen. Most incredible opportunity available through his work, that less than 1% of employees are offered. Unfortunately it meant my partner had to leave the country for a month, 2 days after my scheduled due date for our second child." "We deliberated and ultimately decided it was too incredible an opportunity to pass up. The compensation was huge for our family/budget, the long term benefits are amazing." "It f*cking broke his heart to leave. He sobbed more than I've ever seen him cry. I was also devastated. Luckily our youngest came a week early and so we actually got 8 days together. He arranged a meal service, a cleaning service, a night nurse, and I arranged for my family to come and stay with us while he was gone." "If any of it had been for a random boys weekend? I'd leave him. Thankfully my partner isn't that self centered or dense." ~ morbid_n_creepifying "My husband did this five years ago when our first baby was born. I told him he couldn’t go, he went, and I have never forgiven him." ~ Sarabeth61 "Your husband is almost 20 years older than you are. Yikes. Sounds like a real prince. NTA." ~ Decent-Historian-207 "Old enough to know better, yet trying to abandon his postpartum wife with a newborn, a 4-year-old, and her first week back at work. The audacity to even entertain the idea is unreal." ~ Bus_Airbus "Literally buck-f*cking-wild that he even brought this to YOU to say yes or no to. HE should’ve just looked his friend dead in the eyes like he was dumb and said 'No, obviously not, I can’t go'. NTA." ~ HuhWelliNever "NTA. That is crazy for your husband to even consider leaving you 2 weeks after the baby is born ~ Pianist-123 "What's crazy is that she's expected back to work within weeks of giving birth. What kind of a** backwards third world country would allow that?" "I'll admit to being a bit facetious here, I knew the answer. I'm baffled by how this is even possible. Like how does a woman who's got an internal open wound the size of a placenta go back to work? It is barbaric." ~ kayriss "It's crazy we won't separate puppies and kittens from their parents before 6-8 weeks but that rule doesn't apply to humans." ~ commandercoffeemug "They want all these women having babies, but provide no support system for them after birth. It makes absolutely no sense." ~ small-black-cat-290 "NTA, as a man, f*ck that dude. His friends should already be ripping him a new one for even considering it. Obviously he should have declined. But also poor form for the friends to let him attend under the circumstances. Sh*tty man has sh*tty friends, news at 11." ~ PitbullRetriever "NTA. If you end up needing a C-section you won’t even be cleared to drive by then. You may still be on heavy-duty painkillers. You can’t be left alone with a newborn on heavy medication with no transportation." ~ hananobira "Agreed, the risk of complication is way to high for the guy to be out doing unnecessary sh*t. I orbited my wife for both pregnancies and made sure she was in the clear before I resumed 'normal' life. Like what if she has a PE dude, sh*t gives me anxiety." ~ Disastrous_Tie9345 "NTA. I’m a guy and would never leave my wife in this kind of situation. You guys definitely need to have a serious talk about priorities." ~ wally_wally777 "Some men (obviously not all) just seem to think that it’s not their problem. They get a woman (or women) pregnant and keep living their own life the same way they did before, while for her, absolutely everything will change and there’s zero support from the guy to share the burden… only credit is shared." "There are literally guys who even use their parental leave to go on trips because they 'need a break' and see parental leave as an opportunity for time off instead of as the most exhausting time of their life." ~ lndlml "NTA, is your husband on crack?" ~ Ionia1618 "No, he married a woman 18 years younger than him and doesn't care about the fact that she's pregnant." ~ delinaX "The boys weekend isn't really the issue. The issue is that he looked at everything she is managing in November and his instinct was to plan time away from it. That tells you something about how he sees the division of labor in this family that probably needs a direct conversation before the baby arrives, not after." ~ randominputmatt "NTA. A boys' weekend when you're potentially only a few weeks postpartum, caring for a newborn and a 4-year-old, and returning to work is terrible timing. He should sit this one out." ~ cleanplate10 "NTA, how is this even a question? In my opinion, as a mum of two, it's borderline abusive for him to threaten it as an option...What the f*ck is he playing at?" "Although when you married someone 18 years older than you, maybe you should have questioned why he was still single and not able to find someone his own age to settle down with." ~tammybiscuits "The fact that he even wants to go should be a huge red flag for you. Stop having babies with this man; he does NOT look out for you." ~Briscogun "The reason he's with you instead of someone his own age is that someone his own age would know that he's being an a**hole without needing to ask. This is rough. NTA but woof..." ~ Zealousideal-Bug8951 "NTA, he knew the due date long in advance. His priority should be being present for you, the baby, and your 4-year-old because this is a big transition for all of you. He can go on a trip later." ~ TheHermeticLibrarian OP needs to have a discussion with her husband about his priorities. If his boys' trip matters more than her and their children, she may need to reevaluate his place in her life. --- ### College Student Tells Parents To Stop Treating Her Like 'Third Parent' For Young Brother **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/college-third-parent-reddit/.md It's true that it takes a village to raise a child and that not all of the responsibility should fall on the parents alone if they want their child to have a well-rounded upbringing. But as much fun as it might be to involve their other children in their youngest's upbringing, the expectations can quickly shift into parentification, cautioned the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITAH) subReddit. Redditor New-Role3083 was 19 and a new college student, still living at home with her parents, who expected her to take on many of the responsibilities of caring for her three-year-old brother. When those responsibilities started to impact her college work, the Original Poster (OP) tried to tell her parents that she couldn't be like a "third parent" to her brother anymore, only for them to threaten to kick her out if she didn't continue helping. She asked the sub: "Am I the a**hole for telling my parents that I don't want to be a third parent to my brother anymore?" The OP felt taken advantage of when it came to caring for her little brother. "I (19 Female) live with my parents (51 Male and 45 Female) and my little brother (3 Male)." "For the past three years, from the day he was born, I’ve constantly felt like I was the third parent." "Don’t get me wrong, at first I loved helping out with small things like grabbing clothes or making bottles; I never complained at all." The OP's parents kept adding to her responsibilities, even when she started going to college. "Yet, as of the past couple of months, things have changed to the point where I’m becoming a third parent, and it’s TIRING." "For context, both parents work from home, and I’m in college or at work for most of the week, so when I get home at around 5:00 or 7:00 PM, I’m tired and just want to get extra work done or get things ready for tomorrow." "For some reason, although, instead of being given random tasks to help out with, I’m now being given lists to do all to do with taking care of my brother, and all responsibility has now been put on me." "For example: 'Diaper change, food, bath, brush hair, snack, dress for bed, diaper change, play with him, take him to bed.'" "At first I thought it was a joke, but it turns out they’re being dead serious, and I’ve complied for months since they said if I don’t, I’ll be kicked out, and now I’m far behind on college work." The OP even tried dodging responsibilities by staying on campus, but her parents had a solution for that, too. "I wish I could try staying out later or stalling, I’ve tried it before but they have 'Life 360' on me, and the minute I’m done with college or work, they want me home as soon as possible." "The only times I can really escape are Saturdays or Sundays, but even then, I dedicate one day to studying at home since they don’t allow me to go anywhere else." "It’s haunted me the minute they discovered 'Life 360.' It feels like I can’t do anything anymore without having a phone call my way asking what I’m doing or where I’m going." "When applying to college, I asked if I could just work full time to save money, yet my mama said I’d be disappointing my bloodline and how I need to be 'the first Black woman in the family to go to college and get a bachelor's and master's degree,' and she said I can get a real job the minute I get them." The OP tried to set a boundary with her parents, but it backfired. "I told them last night that I can’t do it anymore, and I’m not a third parent, and they’re home all day, so I don’t understand why nearly all responsibility is pushed onto me when I’ve had a long day already." "When I told them this, though, they said that they’re too exhausted and that I’m ungrateful for womanly life lessons." "They said how I should be helping no matter what, and how they’re the ones doing it all day, so I’m there for the 'night shift,' while also threatening to kick me out if I don’t continue to help." "AITAH?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NTA: Not the A**hole YTA: You're the A**hole ESH: Everybody Sucks Here NAH: No A**holes Here Some urged the OP to move out of her parents' house as soon as possible. "NTA. Start saving/making plans to move out ASAP. Start studying in the school library at night as much as possible." "Don't go home until your homework is done and everything you need for school is completed for the next day. Tell them you’ve got an evening class now, and then the other evening or two you’re a TA or tutoring or something. Anything to buy that time and not be in the home." "Girlie, you’re not the a**hole. But you’re gonna have to move out." - freecarrotsticks "Talk to your college advisor or dean. Some colleges and universities have emergency funds or other resources to help students who have living situations that are incompatible with college." "I really hope that you get this worked out. Tell your parents from this 69-year-old great-grandma that they both suck." - mcdulph "NTA. This happens quite a bit. Especially to the oldest daughter. If you comply it may completely derail any college or higher education. Sometimes parents will pressure their daughter to stop working for pay or only work part time. You are effectively an unpaid nanny." "One big problem is that this is not preparing you to build an adult life. Your parents can kick you out at any time and for any reason. They have already threatened to do so." "I would do everything in my power to find a job where you can support yourself and move out. Yes, this may mean college gets put on hold. You could look for a company that offers tuition reimbursement and go to classes in the evening. I had to do that. It is not easy." "It is not fair that you have to deal with this. It is fine to occasionally help your family out, but this is beyond that. Do not let them convince you otherwise. Do not believe them if they say it is only temporary and you can go back to college 'next year.'" - Freyjas_child "NTA. Unfortunately, it sounds like your parents' plan for taking care of a baby in their late 40s was to have you do it. The 'womanly life lessons' line also makes it sound like they value your future motherhood more than they value your education." "The only way to avoid parenting your brother any further is to move out ASAP; however, if your parents are financing your education to a significant degree, I would unfortunately prepare for them to cut that off in an effort to pressure you into staying." "I would definitely reach out to resources at your school both for finding a place to stay and for figuring out a way to continue your education should the money run out." - Braneric84 "NTA, not your child, not your problem. They chose to have a baby late in life; it's not your fault they weren’t smart enough to think about how tired they'd be until after they had your brother." - TheArcticWolf19 "As much as possible, in ways that won't hurt your brother, do stuff wrong. Shirts on backwards, wrong clothes, skip the bath." "Want it done right? Parent your own child." "And womanly life lessons? F**k that s**t. The only lesson here is I've decided I won't have children and I'll move far, far away. NTA." "Chap their hides by getting a night nanny position where you get paid for this." - desertboots The OP later shared more information about her family dynamic. "Hey everyone! Thank you so much for the advice y’all have given me; I appreciate it so much." "To answer some questions, I pay rent, I pay for my own food, I paid for tuition myself, but I don’t have health insurance since my parents stopped paying it when I turned 18." "I do have somewhat of a plan to escape and never look back, but please understand that a couple of things is holding me back." "My brother is severely Autistic, my parents don’t understand Autism, and they think my brother has a sickness caused by the devil. I think if I left, they wouldn’t look after him properly the way they should." "They also raised me in a household where women are servants to men and should only look pretty and be obedient. As much as I hate the thought of it all, sometimes I feel like it’s what I’m born to do and that’s how I should be, and I know it’s so very wrong." "I don’t have a bank account; all money I have is physical, and I’ve never been taught how to have a bank account. I didn’t even know women could have bank accounts until 2023. I have my own car, which my father paid for, but I pay for gas, etc. I won’t have a car anymore the minute I get married since my father thinks only men should drive, and even me driving makes him uncomfortable." "I do hope to get away soon. I have $8,000 in cash and money in a bank account I can’t access, which will be given to whomever I marry since my father believes that the man should have all the money and the woman can only request money if needed." "They don’t know I have a job, and I always have to say it’s longer college days than they are to hide it. I know this is long but I hope this answers some of y’all’s questions." She shared in a second comment: "Side note: I have seven siblings all together, and all of them, besides from me and my youngest brother, only talk to them. I don’t know where three of my siblings have gone, and the rest of them only contact my father since they’re all male, and they believe talking to any woman is below them." "I can’t contact any family, and the only friends I have are church friends, and all of their parents are friends with mine." "People who also told me to ask around, thank you for the advice, but I have really bad anxiety when it comes to it. I know I’m in a really sticky situation, and I apologise for that. I never realised how messed up all of this was." "I’m not sure how three of my siblings managed to get away, but I was too young to understand when they did leave, but it gives me hope knowing it’s been done before and hopefully one day I’ll be able to do the same too." Fellow Redditors were even angrier on the OP's behalf because of this new information. "Forget about the money in the account for when you marry; it doesn't exist. It's time to move out, now. You know it, and everyone here has told you the same. Move out. Live your life. This will never stop, and your parents have told you so." - SoulLessGinger992 "Definitely inform child services about your concerns with your parents. They can intervene, whilst you move out. But seriously, go to a bank nearby and just open an account and put your money in; just make sure you have proof of funds because most banks will want to do due diligence checks on the source of the $8k." - Apart_Foundation1702 "I don't know where you live, but this is disgusting. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this; I wish you were living in a place where you were regarded as an equal. You are absolutely not the a**hole." "I am a mother to three sons, and I was raised kind of like you. Not as bad with the misogyny, but it was still there." "And I was parentified and had to basically raise all of my younger siblings. I didn't have a life of my own. It is unfair, and if you can leave, do so as soon as you can and find a place where you are treated properly. I'm really sorry" - Pleasant-Highway-745 "You need to call CPS. Parentification is a form of abuse, and if they are doing it to you, they will do it to your other siblings once you escape. Whatever you have to do to get out, do it. Get roommates, make sure you have all your important documents like birth certificate, driver's license, equivalent of a Social Security card. Make sure your credit is locked so only you can get access to it." "Your male siblings got away because they don’t have to care for a child. According to your family and church, that’s a woman’s job, but having a child is optional, not required." - Plastic-Ad-5171 "The reality here is that your parents are deliberately trying to sabotage your education. They will NEVER care that you are falling behind on your schoolwork, because they don't think you should be in school at all. They have already told you your role in life is to be poor, dependent, controlled, and obedient. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO AGREE WITH THIS." "I had my own bank account starting at age 18 in the year 2000, 26 years ago. Take your cash to a credit union or bank immediately. Set up direct deposit for your job's paychecks. I guarantee there is someone at your school who can help you with this." "Financial literacy, independence, and competence are one of the greatest things you can give yourself. Even if you decide in the future to become a stay-at-home wife and mother, financial understanding will always be useful, whether it is a matter of household management, or recovery after your husband abandons you for a younger woman." "Ignore the dowry. It is money your father is using to control you, and for all you know, it doesn't even really exist." - QueenMAb82 Finally, the OP shared an update. "UPDATE! Hey everyone, before I update y’all, I'd just like to thank all of you for your kind words and advice. Even though I haven’t replied to everyone, I appreciate it all so much, and I promise I’ve read through all of your comments." "I’ve spoken to my councillor as some of you suggested, and I’ve spoken to a couple of other people at college (thankfully the councillor did most of the talking for me), and I’m able to get student accommodation!" "There are a couple of places still available or have become available, and I’m moving to my new place soon." "As for what I’ve told my parents, I told them I’m going to student accommodation for practicality reasons, and at first, my mother begged me to stay, until it turned to threats, and it all got out of hand when my dad got involved, and a couple things got smashed, and there where a lot of hurtful things said and eventually, my neighbour called the cops." "Everything has died down now, though. My dad is in a holding cell until otherwise, and my mama isn’t talking to me. I think the cops are going to be involved from now on, though, since when I was being questioned, out of being overly upset, I let everything spill. I think all of the stress got to me, and I finally let everything spill." "The cops ended up taking me to my boyfriend’s house, so I had somewhere for the night to get away from it all." "Yet, for good news, I get to move out in a couple of weeks! I’m happy being with my boyfriend; he’s cheered me up a lot, and we’re currently cuddling as I’m typing this." "Even though a lot has happened, mainly bad, I can gladly say I feel a lot safer now. I’m even setting up my own bank account!" " I made sure to pack a small bag for now (I’m staying over a couple of days and made sure to bring my money), so hopefully everything will be better soon." "I’m still worried about my brother, though." The subReddit could appreciate the OP wanting to look out for her younger brother, since she felt her parents didn't properly understand him, but her life was otherwise being jeopardized as a parent that she did not want to be, while she was supposed to be studying and creating a future for herself. Hopefully with these new plans coming into fruition, she'd be able to create a life for herself where she'd be happy and healthy, and maybe she could still show support to her younger brother, but on her own terms. --- ### Parent Tells Daughter's Boyfriend He'll Need To Move Out Of Their House If He Can't Get A Job **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/job-kicked-out-reddit/.md It's no secret that the job market is currently difficult to navigate, making it harder than practically ever before to land an interview, let alone the actual job. But when a person has been jobless for several months, they have no choice but to try harder to find jobs, whether that means applying more often, following up on applications, or even applying to jobs that don't interest them, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit. Redditor Ok-Victory-1689 previously said yes to their adult daughter and her boyfriend moving in with them, since they could no longer afford their rent payment after her boyfriend lost his job. But when a substantial amount of time passed, and he still hadn't landed another job, the Original Poster (OP) told him that he either needed to try harder to find a job or he needed to move out. They asked the sub: "Am I overreacting by telling my daughter's boyfriend that he needs to get a job if he wants to carry on living in my house?" The OP was supportive of their adult daughter and her boyfriend moving in when they needed help. "I’m 64 and retired. My daughter is 29, and her boyfriend is 31." "They have been staying with me since around April after they couldn’t afford their flat anymore." "I said yes because I’ve got the room. I wasn’t going to see my daughter stuck somewhere when I’ve got a perfectly good spare bedroom sitting empty." "I haven’t charged them rent, although they buy food, and my daughter gives me some money towards the electric." The agreement was that the boyfriend would be searching for a new job to help make ends meet. "The understanding, or at least what I thought was the understanding, was that this would be for a couple of months until they were back on their feet." "My daughter works full time. Her boyfriend doesn’t. He lost his job shortly before they moved in and still hasn’t found another one." "At first I kept out of it because it wasn’t really my business, and I know jobs aren’t exactly falling out of trees at the moment." The OP was concerned that the boyfriend was being too selective in his job search. "The problem is I’m starting to think he’s being too particular about what he’ll do." "I asked him last week whether he’d tried the warehouse on the industrial estate because I’d seen they were taking people on." "He said he’d already looked at it and didn’t think he could manage doing that sort of work all day. Fair enough." "I mentioned the Tesco a few days later, and apparently retail is something he really doesn’t want to go back to." "On Sunday I asked if he’d heard anything from the jobs he’d applied for. He said no and that he’d put in two applications that week." "I probably shouldn’t have said it the way I did, but I asked what he’d been doing for the other five days." The OP's daughter was tired of the OP's feedback on the job search. "That’s where it all went wrong." "My daughter said I was constantly having little digs at him and making him feel like a guest who’d overstayed his welcome." "I said, well, he has overstayed his welcome a bit. Five months isn’t what we originally discussed." "She then brought up the fact that he’s Trans and said he’s had trouble at previous workplaces because of it. I knew about some of that, but apparently there was more to it than they’d told me." "I said I sympathised, but I couldn’t see what I was supposed to do with that information. He’s 31 years old and living in my house for nothing." "I’m not asking him to get a career sorted by next Tuesday. I’m asking him to get some sort of income coming in." "That probably wasn’t the right answer, either. Eventually, I said I’d give him another month. If he’s working by then, fine. They can carry on staying here for a while and save some money. If he’s still not working, he’ll need to make other arrangements." The OP's daughter was not happy about the new plan. "My daughter asked if that meant her, as well. I said no. She’s working, and she’s my daughter. She can stay as long as she needs to." "She thinks that’s effectively asking her to choose between me and him because he doesn’t have a good relationship with his parents and doesn’t really have anywhere else to go." "I don’t particularly want to chuck him out. He’s not a bad bloke, and we normally get on alright. He does cook sometimes, and he’s not sitting there expecting my daughter to wait on him. I just don’t think applying for a couple of jobs a week after five months unemployed is enough." "She’s barely spoken to me since Sunday, and now I’m wondering whether the one-month deadline was a bit much." "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some wholeheartedly agreed that the boyfriend at least had to try harder to find a job, even if the search wasn't fruitful right now. "While I sympathize with not being able to find a job (underemployed rn, not hearing back from any applications), he still has to try. NOR." - I-screwed-up-bad "NOR. Two applications a week is crazy. It should be at least three a day." - HellyOHaint "Last time I was unemployed, I went for 600 applications in less than a month... Minimum wage garage job 45 minute drive away... When you don't have a job, YOU LOOK FOR ONE." - Soggy-Bluebird-5210 "For real, he's refusing a massive section of jobs because he doesn't wanna. Five months is too long to stay picky when you don't have savings and are 100% financially dependent on someone else." "OP is NOR; dude needs to get off his butt." - EnterTheHellscape "Retail/customer service is not something I've ever wanted to do... but it pays my bills so I've been doing it for 20+ years." - unkn0wnname321 "Many of us take a job to have a job. Most people just take whatever they can to pay the bills. Very few dream jobs out there. I say give him a deadline." - TaosMaz "Most people are productive around six hours a day. If you’re looking for a job, you need to put in that amount of time. Look for jobs. Apply. Do the paperwork. Work on skills." "Pushing out a dozen applications that you will get rejected from rarely works, but zero effort also won’t get you a job." - allyearswift "The refusing to go back to retail or entertain other jobs is where I lose sympathy. All for pursuing something better and not staying forever, but you do what you need to cover responsibilities." - Wholead2742 Others understood the OP's ultimatum but suggested some helpful alternatives. "I was a single mom at 20 (zero help from the donor), living with my parents. I quit my retail job and applied/interviewed for full-time office jobs, but they gave me two weeks to find any job, or I had to leave. I don’t think they would’ve actually kicked me out, but I was back to waiting tables the next day while continuing to apply for full-time employment." "Maybe try telling them he has a month to find some type of job, or you will have to start charging them rent. This route keeps your daughter from picking sides, but it also puts pressure on her because she’ll be financially responsible. If they do end up paying rent, you could always set it aside in a savings account to gift back later." - Altruistic-Dot1068 "OP, NOR. When my husband lost his job a few years ago, he applied to over 200 jobs in the course of a few weeks. Unfortunately, he didn’t get a job for about eight months, but he applied everywhere that at least wasn’t the most drastic pay cut." "Your daughter's boyfriend needs to step it up and apply even if it's not work he 'wants,' because the reality is nobody likes their job, but they do it so they can afford to live. Toughen up and deal with a s**t job until you get more stable." - PuffPuff97 "NOR. The partner is not your responsibility. Your daughter is. If she can’t afford to live with a partner, then she can live with you alone." - Ok_Moment_2307 "My criticism. The deadline needs to be, '...x months til you (plural or just him) move out.' The problem with 'have a job' is if he loses it, gets laid off, and then you are right back to the beginning." "Instead, I'd say, 'You can stay here, job or not, until November 30th. On December 1st, you need to provide for yourself.'" "Personally, I would say 'you' as in plural, but then take your daughter aside. If she can carry them both (as in their own place) on one income, so be it. If she can't, tell her she can stay. But since she can not carry both of them, you will not." "I'm about your age, OP, and have kids." "Personally, as long as you are calm and factual, I wouldn't wait. Clear comms, hard boundaries. You can tell your daughter you are proud of her and how she takes care of her responsibilities. Say that as a standalone. DON'T add '...but' after it. As a separate sentence, say, 'Whether you are with him or not, he has to find a purpose and means to provide.'" "I don't have any experience personally with Trans folks, but I would recommend self-employment jobs, like housecleaning, dog walking, lawn care, anything where interaction is minimal." "Trust this: if you are good, business will come. For example, when I came home from the service, I could not work 'a real job.' As a 40-year-old man, I started my own housecleaning business, since I was a nitty-gritty person used to deadlines and inspections!" "I did not advertise because my clients did it all for me! Offer things like signing for packages, bringing trash bins up, anything." "All the best. NOR." - PizzaSlingr "NOR. I honestly think you set a healthy boundary here. It might not be what your daughter or her partner wants, but it's fair and kind. He does need to work harder and get an income, and it's not ok for him to assume you'll cover for him indefinitely." "It sucks that people can be a**holes about his identity, but that isn't an excuse for not working on his own independence." - Ksilverstar25 While the subReddit could sympathize with a tough job market, increased costs, and potential obstacles as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, they also agreed that two applications per week after already being unemployed for five months wasn't going to cut it. Much more work needed to be done to lock in some kind of income, and the boyfriend needed to be more open to the idea of getting a job that paid the bills while still giving himself time to look for that dream job. --- ### Woman Hurt After Fiancé Tells Her To Go To Birthday Dinner Alone Since She Can't Afford To Pay For Him **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/birthday-dinner-alone-budget-reddit/.md In most cultures, it's common for a person having their birthday to cover the tab for their loved ones that they want to share their celebration with. But if a person couldn't afford to do that, there's no doubt that the people who love them most would still do what they could to make sure they had a lovely birthday, even if it was small and simple, pointed out the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITAH) subReddit. Redditor Ruthsayless had gone through many expensive experiences recently, including car troubles and changes at work, making it more difficult for her to pay for extras, like celebrating her birthday. When her future husband got a major promotion and pay raise at work, the Original Poster (OP) thought he might help her pay for her birthday celebration, only for him to shut her down and say she'd have to spend the day alone. She asked the sub: "Am I the a**hole for telling my fiancé I can't afford to take him out for my birthday this year?" The OP was struggling financially after multiple setbacks throughout the year. "It's been a rough year. Car problems and hours cut at my job, so I’ve had to be really frugal." "My fiancé (36 Male) and I (29 Female) split the bills. He pays the base rent, and I pay for everything else, like the electric, phone, subscriptions, etc." "He makes a lot more than I do, 90k a year vs. my 40k a year, and that was before they cut my hours." In the meantime, the OP's fiancé was moving up in the world. "He recently got a big promotion at work, so he just got a huge pay bump." "My big 30th is coming up, and I’m afraid to sound spoiled, but I’d like to be treated to dinner or something." "In the beginning of our relationship, my man would treat me to vacations, gifts, and dinners." "I loved it, but when we got serious, I told him he doesn’t need to spoil me, and we should put the money to savings. Unfortunately, over the years, this has become a 180 into him being very stingy with gifts." "I constantly buy him clothes, video games, and dinners, but when I ask if he could spot me for McDonald’s, he gets upset and asks why I don’t have money." "He says he pays for our house, which, in all fairness, is very expensive, because we live in a very nice neighborhood." "He also admitted to me he’s in a lot of credit card debt. So I feel guilty asking to be treated." The OP was hurt when her fiancé refused to do anything for her for her birthday. "Now, for my birthday, I’m a little stressed, because I’m so broke." "Thankfully, I have a gift card for a restaurant from my last birthday that I haven’t used. I told him about it, but I said it’s only $50, so we can’t go too crazy ordering off the menu." "He got upset and said, ' Then what’s the point of going out?'" "I lost my temper and told him I can go out for my birthday by myself then. He just shrugged and said that if that’s what I want to do, fine. I just feel kinda hopeless about it and sad." "AITAH?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NTA: Not the A**hole YTA: You're the A**hole ESH: Everybody Sucks Here NAH: No A**holes Here Some skipped over the OP's "AITAH" question and urged her to stop buying her partner gifts that would not be reciprocated. "NTA, but stop buying him things! This is not likely to get better. Do you want to keep living with someone who won't even treat you to dinner on your birthday?" - MistressJacklynHyde "Absolutely STOP buying HIM things. Save your money in a separate savings account instead. And get out of there. He love-bombed you, to get you hooked, thinking he'll take care of you on special occasions." "But then, if they're toxic, they eventually show themselves. And he has shown himself." - JustMe1314 "NTA! Why are you constantly buying him clothes and video games? You need to stop. Money should go to bills and rent." "But is this how you want to live the rest of your life?" - Ginger630 "Stop spending money on him. It sounds like you're trying to buy his love. Save your money. Only spend it on housing, utilities, etc." "It doesn't take much to celebrate yourself. Even if you only have enough for an ice cream cone, that's your very special ice cream cone." "How long have you been together and how long have you been engaged? Did he get you a ring? I'd be looking VERY closely at your sunken cost fallacy, because this relationship's not worth it." - MahleahHC215 "My first question to myself while reading this was, 'Why is she buying him things?' If she’s buying him so much she can’t afford McDonald's, she is not managing her own funds well. And he has a lot of credit card debt, which isn’t good." "Before making any rash decisions, I would sit down and be very open about the financial situation. He may want to spoil you a bit but is feeling bad because he doesn’t have the money." "Some men can act like jacka**es when that happens. But when they finally come clean, and you have a better understanding, you can work together on this." - Jazzlike-Bird-3192 "I think it’s the canon event a lot of women experience where they try to be 'low maintenance' and tell a guy, 'Oh, you don’t have to spoil me and buy me gifts,' and the guy takes that and decides to just not buy any more gifts and grows resentful." "Please don’t marry this man, OP; the resentment is just going to grow." - cutesummerdress Others questioned why the OP was even with this guy if he couldn't show a little empathy during a difficult moment in her life, especially since it was happening around her birthday. "Oh honey... that's a very low bar! NTA." - QuirkySyrup55947 "'If he wanted to, he would.' NTA." - okiedokie339562 "Honey, you're not the AH. You're WITH the AH." - MyLittlePiranha "NTA. He should not expect you to treat him on your birthday. That makes no sense at all." - GrammaM "He’s making her prove she’s not a gold digger, but what he is actually doing is Financially Abusing her. She’s paying for what every woman ever did to him, and it is unsustainable and will eventually explode one day, and the longer it takes, the more damage will be inflicted. She deserves to leave now and be happy. NTA." - joedude1965 "YTA for staying with someone who doesn't like you. He wants you to pay to take him out for your birthday? Make this make sense!" - night_noche "Worse still he doesn't just expect you to take him out, he is ANNOYED you can't afford it and told you to go on your own (a milestone bday too!)?" "Partners, friends and family (adults) take the birthday person out 99% of the time; only children need to be paid for. So are you with a child or trying to have a relationship with a child?" - Charming-Anywhere974 "Girl, NTA. He makes more than twice what you do, and is this stingy/uptight about money?!" "Also, why would you be paying for your own birthday dinner? That is ridiculous! It’s not a spoiled thing to say you want to be treated for your birthday; it’s actually perfectly reasonable!" - Mrs9H9 "The fact that his income is almost double yours and he expects you to pay for your own 30th... Girl, in all seriousness and from a place of concern, this man has stopped caring about you, and it sounds like he has successfully gaslit you into believing you're the problem." "Also, when it comes to money, I do believe couples should be reasonable in splitting expenses. 50/50 is unreasonable when he makes so much more than you." "You deserve better. You deserve someone who would consider that your birthday is coming up and start putting aside money to treat you. It doesn't have to be a lavish gesture, but Jesus expecting you to pay goes far deeper than someone pinching pennies." - not_brittsuzanne "NTA, but give yourself a birthday present and find someone who’s not stingy and yet drowning in debt. It’s one thing to be frugal or poor, but quite another to be p**sed he can’t spend your money on your birthday." "I’m sure if you evaluate things you’ll find a lot of things aren’t fair and he’s to be pleased no matter the cost (emotionally and financially)." - duckysmomma "NTA. But you're not being respected. I would take myself out and never come back." "That would be the ultimate birthday gift to yourself, actually." - Apprehensive_Puff91 The subReddit was angry on the OP's behalf that she was giving to this relationship and seeing nothing in return, not even a nice birthday dinner. If the future husband made so much more than her, he really had no reason but to figure out his finances and at least be able to show his partner that he cherishes her and is looking forward to marrying her, not shame her that she can't afford to fund her own birthday during one of the most financially trying years of her life. --- ### Dog Owner Chewed Out By Boyfriend For Washing Dogs' Dirty Bowls In Dishwasher With Regular Plates **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/dog-bowl-dishwasher-reddit/.md According to the Centers for Disease Control, putting pet items, including toys, in the dishwasher with your regular dishes is acceptable, sanitary, and safe as long as you use standard detergent and a high-temperature setting to kill any germs. Some pets like reptiles carry Salmonella, and some pets, like birds or rodents, may get waste on their dishes, which can spread harmful bacteria like E. coli. So the CDC recommends running the dishwasher on its hottest or sanitizing setting to ensure it effectively destroys germs. A dog owner turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after clashing with her new boyfriend over her dogs' dishes. 8pawsaround asked: "AITA for washing dog bowls in the dishwasher?" The original poster (OP) explained: "I have 2 dogs. They each have 2 food bowls. They get a clean bowl with each meal." "After each meal, I pick up their bowls and place them in my kitchen sink. At the end of the day, I run the four dog bowls in the dishwasher alongside my own." "For additional context, the bowls are made of ceramic, and I use the high-temperature sanitizing cycle on the dishwasher." "I started dating 'Steve' a short time ago. Last weekend he came to my place, and I made him dinner." "After dinner, Steve saw me place my dogs’ dishes in the dishwasher along with our dinner dishes, and he was absolutely disgusted. He said that running the dogs’ bowls alongside my own was unsanitary and a health hazard." "According to Steve, the dog dishes should be hand washed with a separate sponge and kept out of the dishwasher." "I have never seen an issue with this because in my mind, the heat from the dishwasher kills bacteria." "Steve’s argument is that dogs have different bacteria in their mouths than us and 'mixing it' can be dangerous. He insists he won’t eat anything off any of my dishes again until I promise that I will start handwashing the dogs’ bowls separately because only 'human dishes should go in the dishwasher'." "Is this unsanitary? Thoughts?" Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors unanimously decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "NTA. The dishwasher is intended to clean things. That’s the whole point of it." ~ fomaaaaa "Saves water, too." ~ 2dogslife "Unless the bowls are specifically not dishwasher safe, nothing wrong has been done here." ~ Kristikuffs "AND it saves her from having to date Steve. Win-Win!" ~ medusasfolly "I run my cat’s bowl through the dishwasher too. Like this is normal, at least in my mind." ~ AGioiellierr "I bought an entire set of 2 dozen cute little blue ceramic dishwasher-safe plates at the dollar shop specifically to feed my grubby cats on a fresh plate every meal, and then slop everything into the dishwasher." "I refuse to handwash anything. And it means they stay out of the dang sink cause it's empty and has no dirty dishes for them to try to lick or spoons to steal.NTA." ~ ijustneedtolurk "I did the same, but not matching. They have to get a wet food 'treat' each night so they will take their pill (both cats on a steroid for IBD)." "I got tired of washing the plates every night, so bought about a dozen-ish so I could just pop them in the dishwasher each night and run it when I'm almost out." ~ Mauvaise3 "Same. I clean their bowls every couple of days, and they go in the dishwasher. I have never batted an eye. There is detergent, very hot water and everything is spotless." ~ Cudi_buddy "NTA, and this dude is big-dumb." "I put my (wood-fiber composite) cutting board in the dishwasher. That’s my 'dirty stuff' cutting board, and it’s frequently covered in raw chicken juice. If I’m trusting my dishwasher to sanitize chicken juice in the same load as my coffee filter, I can certainly trust it to clean the dog bowls." "Particularly since I spend hundreds of dollars per year ensuring that my dogs have no communicable parasites or diseases." ~ pierogi_waystation "Yeah, this dude is wrong. I once had a roommate who freaked out when I put my cat's bowl in the dishwasher. So scalding water and detergent aren't enough? Nutty." ~ Beautiful_Camel_17 "I have many cats. I’ve found that sterilization in the dishwasher cuts down on them transmitting colds, etc... between them. Yes, I put human dishes in too. It’s much more sterile than using a sponge to wash pet dishes and then using said sponge to clean knives." ~ Justsadie519 "And if you’re using the sanitize cycle, it’s cleaner than washing them in the sink." ~ ImColdandImTired "NTA. The dishwasher is literally designed to clean dishes with hot water and detergent. If ceramic dog bowls can go through it, I really don’t see why they suddenly become dangerous just because a dog ate from them first. Steve seems way more bothered by the idea than by an actual hygiene issue." ~ Proper-Pirate-5006 "If it handles raw chicken plates, dog bowls aren’t exactly a biohazard." ~ fresaduulce "Yup. I put dishes I prepped raw chicken with in the dishwasher. Never got sick. Dog bowls are not a problem." ~ MJC0961 "Yeah, I put raw meat prep in the dishwasher specifically because I trust it to clean and sanitize better than if I hand washed it." ~ Cudi_buddy "Seriously, I'd eat out of my dog's unwashed bowl before I ever ate out of an unwashed raw chicken bowl." ~ technohippie "I'll bet Steve is one of those idiots who think throwing a used tampon/pad in the garbage is unsanitary too." ~ EffectiveNo7681 "You're supposed to incinerate it upon exit - WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT LET A MAN BE AWARE OF ITS EXISTENCE. HIS FEELINGS MIGHT GET HURT." ~ ArcticAcademic "Doesn’t the dishwasher generally use hot water settings that a human couldn’t tolerate? Steve’s dumb." ~ HotThanks2630 "Steve would be horrified to know how many people let their dogs clean regular plates sometimes before they get washed." ~ CitizenCue "Every single dish gets a canine pre-wash in my house unless there was something toxic to dogs in my food." ~ gusandsadie "My old husky refused to eat from a dog bowl and in his last year I’d just feed him from one of our bowls. Most weeks he was demanding human food anyway… but he was still licking the plate with his dog bacteria mouth! I’m in camp 'get a new Steve'.” ~ Old-Memory-Lane "...but by handwashing them you'd be getting them LESS clean. Are you also supposed to have a separate sponge for just the dog bowls? NTA." ~ seventythousandbees "According to the FDA, you should be using a separate sponge if you hand wash them. As long as your dishwasher is set to sanitize, it's safe to wash them with everything else in the dishwasher, though." ~ alliejim98 "Maybe Steve can bring his own dishes and take them home after then, or have him eat off a paper plate, or maybe never have dinner with him again." ~ quirkypeabrain "Tagging on here, friend... Steve is angling to separate you from your dogs. No further discussion needed. A new Steve is in order. Pronto." ~ jamminsami "Stevie is obviously an idiot who is comfortable forcing his stupid ideas on the most minor parts of your life. This is the kind of red flag you should pay attention to." ~ Tiredofthenuts "NTA. I think Steve can either:" "A. Shut the f*ck up" "B. Purchase paper plates to use at your house if he’s going by to be so f*cking precious about saliva that was since washed off" "C. Hand wash the dog bowls himself!" ~ fuzzy-lint "You missed option D (which may should be option A) - Be single!" ~ Kitchen-Arm-3288 "Option E: OP can be with someone who loves dogs and understands dishwashers." ~ MimiPaw "Option D: Give Steve his own set of dishes that doesn't go in the dishwasher. What he doesn't know is that the dog cleans those." ~ Comfortable_Coach_35 "NTA, Steve has no idea what he's talking about." "For the record, I'm a vegetarian, and the only meat in the house is cat food. I wash the cat dishes in the dishwasher in part because then I don't have to deal with meat residue or have it touch the brushes I use to clean my pots and pans like I would if I hand washed them." "High heat at near boiling is going to kill any bacteria that didn't evolve near volcano vents. And I assume your dogs don't have any of those in their mouth." ~ SnipesCC "NTA. I do that with my cats bowls. Never really thought about it before, but I can see why someone might find it a bit yuck. It wouldn’t stop me though, I’m lazy." ~ CharieRarie "Yup, 4 cat bowls a day, at least 50% of my dishwasher is cat bowls. They all come out perfectly clean, and I'm not saving up a pile of dishes to run them separately." ~ Jerseygirl2468 "It’s funny because mentally I agree but logically… either you believe the dishwasher sanitizes items or you don’t. It’s definitely a mental hurdle I can understand but Steve is definitely wrong!" ~ spilly_talent "Yeah, is Steve also grossed out when raw meat dishes and utensils go in together? That’s what the dishwasher is for—to sanitize. I’d put my dog bowls into the dishwasher, but they aren’t dishwasher safe so hand wash it is." ~ Dramallamakuzco Well, Reddit seems clear, and they've given OP some great options, like having her dogs clean their plates going forward. Bon appetit, Steve. --- ### Mom-To-Be Sets Off Mother After Breaking Family Tradition By Refusing To Name Baby After 'Abusive' Father **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/abusive-baby-name-reddit/.md Content Warning: Domestic Abuse, Enablers, Perpetuating Abuse Many families have traditions that go back generations for naming their children, especially when it involves passing a name down from father to son. But when a name becomes a reminder of abuse, it's important to know that traditions can be broken, as reassured by the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITAH) subReddit. Redditor mary_24marvin was no longer with her abusive ex and was looking forward to having her first child as a single woman, raising a child by another man. When her mother kept insinuating that the child must be her abusive ex's, and that she should maintain the tradition of naming sons after their fathers, the Original Poster (OP) refused to entertain the suggestion or the reminder of what she'd been through. She asked the sub: "Am I the a**hole for refusing to name my child after my abusive ex-husband?" The OP stayed with her mother after getting out of a toxic relationship and also getting pregnant. "I (25 Female) used to be in an abusive relationship. Luckily, I got out safely through a divorce. I used to struggle mentally because of that, but I’ve since gotten better." "My mother is very aware of what happened, even though she found out after the abuse." "A few months ago, since my pregnancy, my mother really helped me out. I stayed with her till I found a new place, and even then, she was still there for me." "And after finding out it’s going to be a boy, we were both really happy." When it was time to start thinking about a name for the baby, the OP's mother reminded her of their family's tradition. "At some point, we started talking about potential baby names, and in our family, it is often seen as very good to name your first-born son after their father." "But that never came into question for me, not even when I was married, and I thought my mother wasn’t really part of that tradition, because she only had daughters, none of them named remotely after their father." "Then my mother suggested naming my child Will or Willy. My Ex’s name is William." "At first, I thought she was joking or forgot what my Ex’s name was, or that they are very similar or more like abbreviations. Of course, I told her that wasn’t an option because of the similarity, but it seemed like she knew but still suggested it." "She started pushing me, telling me that the similarity isn’t important, and that the names are very beautiful, and she really likes them." "At some point, I really thought maybe she really liked the name and somehow saw it as an option. But one evening we talked about my Ex, and she called him Willy without realizing it, and then I realized she used to call him Willy all the time." The OP was furious with her mother for continuing to suggest the name. "Of course, I got really angry and confronted her, because in what world do you name your child after your abuser?" "In my eyes, she doesn’t take what I went through seriously if his name even was an option for her." "What makes it even weirder is I told her he isn’t the father, so why would you choose that name?" "But I knew she didn’t believe me. I didn’t answer her calls and didn’t reply to her message, but I got a lot of messages from other family members the same family members that didn’t message me when I was going through h**l." "AITAH?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NTA: Not the A**hole YTA: You're the A**hole ESH: Everybody Sucks Here NAH: No A**holes Here Some reassured the OP that no one but her should have any say in what name she gave her baby. "So your mother loves your ex so much she wants to name another man's child by your ex? Luckily, it's your child, and you can name them as you see fit! NTA. This shouldn't even be up for discussion." - Thegoddessdevine "NTA. Your mother gets no say in what you name your child." "If YOU care about tradition, you can name the child after the child's actual biological dad, or a beloved male relative, or use your maiden surname (if it is something like Mitchell, Carter, Emerson, Jordan, Anthony, or Hunter (and so on) that also works nicely as a first name and won't constantly be mispronounced or misspelled), or look at a genealogy website and see if there is an even more distant relative with a male first name or female maiden name that YOU like." "It is 100% your choice. You do not HAVE to pick a 'traditional' name at all." "Your mother maintaining ties with your abusive ex while having the absolute gall to try to get you to name your baby after him would be enough for me to bar her from getting any more pregnancy/baby updates and from the maternity ward." "I hope your baby will be happy and healthy and that your delivery will be easy and uncomplicated." - I_love_Britpoptarts "NTA. You wouldn't be the a**hole for not taking someone's name suggestion even if there wasn't the context of the abusive relationship, but that makes it even more clear-cut." "Your baby, your decision. You pick the name." "You should definitely examine your mother's behavior, though, and consider whether she's someone you want to keep in your and your BABY's lives." - Old_Needleworker_207 "NTA... Luckily, you are the one who gets to name your son." "Keep your mom far away from that paperwork and make sure the nurses when you deliver know she isn't allowed to make changes or decide anything." - CSILalaAnn "Why are you allowing your mother any input into your baby's name?!" "Tell her, 'Sorry, Mom, but I will be choosing my baby's name, and your input is neither needed nor wanted.'" "And you need to really seriously consider how much contact and influence you want a person who excuses abuse to have with your child." "NTA." - cat-lover76 "NTA! But your mom sure is." "I have a relative that was in a similar situation. She was still trapped in the relationship when the baby was born and was pressured into naming the baby after the abuser. She finally left, but it is a constant reminder." "Her abuser used to go by the nickname 'Bill,' but after she left, he started going by 'William,' because that is the name her son only goes by, and that jerk wanted to have 'a reminder of his son he misses so much.' He even got emails and social media pages made and made sure to have everyone stop calling him Bill and call him William." "For your peace of mind, pick a name with no possible resemblance to your ex's name, and DON'T TELL ANYONE. Let everyone who mentions Willy know that it will never be his name/nickname, and if they do try to call him that, you will cut contact." "Also make sure no one can access the name submission paperwork. People have changed the name that way, and then you have to legally change it. Make sure to return anything that comes with that name if it goes that far." "When you speak with your mom, shut down any talk of that name as soon as it starts. Leave if you have to; let her know you will limit contact if she continues to ignore your boundary. Good luck." - rawanspride Others agreed and urged the OP to reconsider how much contact she had with her mother, if any at all. "Your mother should have zero say in what you name your child." "Also, your mother is not your person. She is not in your corner. Please be careful. NTA." - boundaries4546 "NTA. Please don't let your mother have anything to do with your child. She showed great disrespect by wanting you to name him after your abuser." "H**l no. If you let her in his life, she will always be calling him Willy. Block her and block those family members trying to manipulate you." - winterworld561 "NTA. Once you can get out of living with her, go VLC (Very Low Contact)." "She's being cruel and extremely offensive. Never, never, never do you name someone the same name as a 'known to you' abuser... Especially the one who abused you." "Is she upset you divorced? Wishes you had stayed with an abuser? Wants you back together? Is she in communication with your ex?" "Ask her what her obsession with your ex is. There is zero justification for her opinion. And it is just that. Same with others who are pushing you." "I'd stop talking to those people, and I wouldn't send photos, information, or an announcement to those people. I wouldn't even let them know that I've gone into labor." "Unfriend (if on FB), and if you choose to announce it on FB, you can change your privacy settings for any post (there is a way to do 'friends but not Debbie, Brad, Trish, Beth, or Kevin'; I recommend you use that if you can't block just yet)." - Kimbaaaaly "NTA. She is trying to muddy the waters of the paternity of your child. She probably cooked up this hair-brained plan with him and has been secretly on his side for years; any family or friends contacting you have probably been swayed to their side." "Go low or no contact with those supporting this crazy nonsense." - GoodWin7889 "NTA. May I make a suggestion (as I too had an abusive ex who my mother sided with) that when you are ready, write your mother a letter (or text or email). (I suggest putting it in writing; this way she can't twist it or interrupt while you're speaking.)" "Tell her that she hurt you by choosing to side with the man who chose to hurt you. Tell her that your son will not have his name, and because she is choosing your ex, you need to step back from this relationship, and she will NOT be meeting your son until YOU choose. Tell her that she is blocked everywhere, as is the family that is siding with the abuser." "Then ask her what kind of crap mother and human chooses the person who intentionally hurt her daughter over her daughter." "I'm sorry, OP. You and your baby deserve better." - Life-Wealth-3399 "How much do you trust your mother? Worst case scenario: she's in cahoots with your ex and is low-key trying to get you back with him because she thinks he's the baby's father." "Second-worst case scenario: she thinks your ex is the baby's sperm donor, and is going to 'help' him get custody after birth." "Best case scenario: your mum is a 'pick me' (with a lot of internalized misogyny thrown in) and thinks your ex is just the bee's knees! She's going to save his 'family' and prove what an excellent mother she is, to him." "Yeah, I can't spin this in any direction that makes your mum look good here." "Can you get your baby daddy to help? If not, you might be on your own. It sucks, and it's hard, but thousands of women do it, and you can, too." "Obviously NTA." - Asteroid_Sugar5206 The subReddit was disgusted on the OP's behalf that she was being pushed to use a name that reminded her of a dark past. They became so concerned that many questioned whether the OP should maintain a relationship with her mother, especially when it came to making decisions about the baby. If given any access, this seemed like the kind of mother who would make decisions for her grandchild that the OP really did not like. --- ### Woman Weirded Out After Guy She's Seeing Refuses To Explain How He Got Banned From Two Dating Apps **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/banned-dating-apps-reddit/.md As much as we want to keep a positive mindset about it, not all dating experiences are good or meant to last. And there are definitely some red flags out there, signaling it's time to let the potential relationship go, agreed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit. Redditor Nearby_Resort_4457 had been talking to a guy briefly on a dating app, when he opened up to her and told her that he had already been banned permanently on two dating apps. When he didn't offer a good explanation for why he was banned from not one, but two, dating apps, the Original Poster (OP) couldn't help but feel weird about continuing to date him. She asked the sub: "Am I overreacting for being weirded out after my date admitted he had been banned from multiple dating apps?" The OP was off to a good start dating a new guy. "I (30 Female) recently went on a date with a guy (33 Male) after matching with him on a dating app." "We had talked for a few days on the app before deciding to meet up in person." "We got along well, so when he offered to meet up again, I agreed." "On our second date, we went out for casual drinks and spent some time talking and people-watching." But then the OP's date revealed something that worried her. "Partway through, the conversation shifted to previous dating experiences." "He brought up that he had heard stories of how terrible guys can be on dating apps and asked about my experiences." "I admitted things can get weird, where some guys will message something out of left field, but I had never experienced anything truly heinous." "He then said he hadn't had a ton of luck so far on this app (seems to be the norm for a lot of men getting fewer matches than women do), to which he then admitted he had actually been reported and banned from two other dating apps." "I wasn't able to hide the look of confusion and concern on my face, and with an actual raised eyebrow, I bluntly asked if I had something I needed to be worried about." "He laughed it off and said he wasn't sure 100% what he did, and proceeded to explain what he thought had happened." "First case, he said that he went on a date and there was just nothing there, and when she went to hug him at the end of the night, he had refused. Second case, he said the date just wasn't good and that she seemed like just a terrible person, and there was no love lost there." The OP couldn't stop thinking about what could have been. "I've been weirded out a few times talking to people on dating apps, and have had a couple dates where it just didn't go anywhere. If I needed to, I just unmatched the person or would let the old chat collect dust." "He didn't need to offer up this piece of information, and when I asked for more details, he didn't try to hide and change the subject." "But the idea that he has been banned from two other apps is still living rent-free in my head. Are people actually reporting accounts if a date doesn't go well? How bad would it have to be to actually click report? Is he trying to downplay what happened to make it seem like he did nothing wrong?" "The twice is what's sticking with me, too. Once, sure, it's possible that someone felt rejected, got mad, and clicked report, and there's a zero-tolerance policy... but twice?" "I had literally never met anyone, or at the very least had someone admit to me, to being banned from an app before this. That's why my immediate reaction was to show concern and question it. My assumption was that to be banned you had to have very clearly done something wrong." "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some understood why the OP was concerned and encouraged her to be cautious. "NOR. Listen to your gut. I was on dating apps for years, and it's hard to get banned. I was even rude to a lot of men because they said sexual things right away." "The only app I got banned on was Plenty of Fish because of how it's moderated by bots. I once got banned after not even talking to anyone yet. A lot of people have complained about that. Otherwise, you need to be pretty nasty to get banned from these sites." - GollumTrees "NOR. I would be very, very cautious about this one. Personally, I wouldn’t proceed, but if you do, keep your guard up. This is unnecessary and unflattering information to share with you, which makes it strange." "I really doubt he was banned from two apps for the reasons he’s told you. It’s more likely that he’s potentially trying to get ahead of the story in case you somehow found out." "Something to note is that in the early stages of dating, abusers often test their potential victims with red flag-style stories/behaviours to see if they will ignore it or not. Ignoring red flags makes someone a better target." - peachsandwich "Getting banned from two dating apps is a pretty big red flag, and his explanation doesn’t really make sense, so I’d be keeping my guard up, too." - Fast-Gap-136 "NOR. I’ve never heard of anyone being banned without good reason. Most people just unmatch or block and move on. If he’s given you any other reason to be wary or give you a bad gut feeling, trust that." - SaltEntertainer8198 "I mean, banning from the app would require some amount of evidence, you would think. They're not just going to ban someone because another user reported them. Most likely, whatever he did will have been something on the app that breached their terms of service." - twilighttwister "Yes, he could be giving you a half truth to see how you react, testing your boundaries to see how far he can push THIS time because it gets a tiny bit easier for him each time." - Typical_XJW "NOR. He's lying; he knows it sounds like a lie, and he volunteered this information early on to see if you're the type of person to ignore red flags. Listen to your gut." - maddallena "NOR, I would also be eeked out. You don't get banned for dates not going well, so those women reported him for something that was bad enough for him to be banned. Or, it was something else entirely, like he was sending harassing messages or something." "So, I don't know, trust your gut, in my opinion. Pay attention to how he speaks about women he isn't attracted to. Is he respectful? Does he objectify women? Is there an entitlement embedded in the way he speaks about things?" "Ask him directly about his politics. Don't pull punches with this topic. Too many women realize they're with a monster once they're in a marriage or have kids to consider." - Intelligent_Fly6075 Others agreed and urged the OP to do her research before continuing to date the guy. "I get what you're saying. Just be careful. I am in a state where court case searches are free, and I looked up men before dating them. I found 2 domestic abusers and a guy convicted of multiple counts of illegal porn." - SusieQ4848 "You only get banned for harassing people, I think (or being a fake account). He must have been doing something along those lines. NOR, because he’s most likely lying about why he was banned." - CrummyTum "Search for him online. But honestly, if you’re uncomfortable, just tell him you don’t want a third date and wish him the best of luck." "My guess (and just a guess here) is that after he was rejected, he did not let go." - WhatTheActualFck1 "NOR. It might be worth checking out those 'Are We Dating the Same Guy (insert city name)' Facebook groups. They’re for more than just cheaters, but also for warning other women about creeps and abusers. They have personally helped me a ton in both directions." - CrustyLettuceLeaf "I would definitely recommend checking groups to see if this is a repeat offender, OP. You might have to sift through hundreds of posts, so search his initials, or 'John Smith' or 'John S' (for example)." "I’ve dated A LOT in my past. I went on many dates when I was single, and this date feels like a red flag to me. As someone else mentioned, abusers might try to see what they can get away with when dealing with potential marks." "There was a version of me that would’ve likely been like, 'That’s weird… those girls overreacted,' in which that version of me got burned. Nothing too awful but mostly “oh wow, this person is a pathological liar and manipulative.” "Be safe." - Ultragrrrl "NOR. He’s lying. Why would he be banned from a dating app for not hugging his date? How would the app know? And why would he be banned for not having chemistry with a person?" "He’s hiding why he was banned, and I guarantee he knows exactly why he was." - George_Is_Upset "If you keep dating them, you'll find out the real reason soon enough." "I really hope you listen to your gut. I don't think this is going anywhere good." - knight1714 The subreddit understood why the OP was concerned, especially since the guy was being sort of elusive about a possible explanation. While he may have had bad luck with a few bitterly rejected dates, it seemed more likely that something was going on that the OP needed to be aware of. --- ### Guy Berated For Refusing To Babysit Sister's Kids So He Can Go Bar-Hopping With Boyfriend **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/babysit-sisters-kids-reddit/.md Family members can often take other loved ones for granted. Not everyone can help all the time. People have their own lives. And just because some people share DNA, it doesn't mean anyone is obligated to anyone. Redditor u/Affectionate_Fee5823 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally, he came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. He asked: "AITA for preferring to go bar hopping than babysitting?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "Hi y'all, I need a bit of advice." "For context, I am a 28-year-old M. Sister 1 is 34, and sister 2 is 31." "On every family trip we've taken together, I've gone primarily to help out with the kids." "I've also watched them whenever my sisters wanted to go out of the country for mini trips." "I never used to mind babysitting, but I started a new relationship, so I’m not home most of the time." "Plus, the kids are getting older, and they can’t act out." "Three months ago, both sisters mentioned they booked an out-of-country concert trip." "Knowing how they operate, I immediately told them, 'By the way, I won't be able to babysit. It's Labor Day weekend, and since I'm in my first relationship, I'll likely be busy.'" "Sister 2 accepted this and is taking her whole crew with her." "Sister 1 stayed quiet and never gave a direct answer, so I kept bringing it up to refresh her memory." "While Sister 1 was away on a month-long trip to the D R with her family, we FaceTimed, and she told me, 'If you don't want to babysit, then buy your nieces' flight tickets.'" "I replied, 'Hey, I never said I was going to babysit. I'm busy, so that's not my problem."' "She just got back from her DR trip yesterday and is getting ready to leave for this concert trip in two days." "Out of nowhere, she told me, 'I'm going to leave the girls (ages 5 and 2) with you and Dad.'" "I looked at her and said, 'I told you I'm not here this weekend. My BF wants to take me away for the weekend' (which isn't strictly true; I'm actually just going to stay inside at his apartment and go bar hopping)." "I love my nieces, but they can be a handful, and I just don't have the capacity for it right now." "Especially since I recently quit my job, have been treated poorly by them, am mentally exhausted, and I start a new job in a week." "I just want a chill weekend before I begin working again." The OP was left to wonder: ""Am I the as**hole for not wanting to babysit? Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole. "NTA... this is the moment to put your foot down." "Do not accept any form of payment, do not be guilted, do not put that responsibility on yourself." ~ Fen_church "Also, if sister decides to show up with the girls or leaves them, tell her that you are going to call the police over child abandonment if she doesn't take them with her." ~ Dot-Slash-Dot "Whenever I read this stuff, I have to double take." "Do parents need a break?" "Sure, but grow up." "You don’t book out-of-the-country tickets without securing childcare." ~ just-peepin-at-u "My sister's dumped their kids on me constantly, saying they needed a break." "I didn't have kids, so I had the time and energy for them according to my sisters." "I finally told them I don't have kids because I don't wanna be tied down to kids, so I'm not gonna tie myself down for someone else's. It was liberating." ~ Medium_Wheel_4310 "I’ll be the first to say I’m not as busy as people with kids, and I made that choice deliberately." "I wouldn’t put up with this just because they signed up for parenthood, which doesn’t include many breaks these days." "Unfortunately, parenthood is really hard and a lot of people don’t seem to consider that before having kids, so they end up miserable later on." ~ BluejayAltruistic463 "Sister actually said if you're not gonna babysit my kids for free then buy them expensive ass plane tickets so I can take my kids with me." "Wild entitlement there." ~ Aaprobst88 "This is it right here." "My wife and I hadn't taken a true vacation without kids until, for our 15th wedding anniversary, we decided to go out of the country." "We arranged for my in laws to come visit and watched the kids before we booked any tickets cause why we can believe they would do it, they have their own lives." "When I was single in my early 20s, my mother volunteered me to watch my nephews so she and my sister could go out." "I told her that while I'm generally willing to watch them, I'm an adult now; you need to ask me to watch them, not just assume or tell me." ~ bubbynee "NTA, you said no." "No means no." "You didn’t cancel last second or promise to either." ~ Consistent_Life6154 "Your sisters chose to have children." "Those children are not an extended family project for which everyone else is required to participate." "You have every right to say NO to babysitting anytime you don't want to babysit." "NTA, and not your problem." ~ CommercialBreak2026 "NTA - no is a complete sentence." "Babysitting other people’s kids is a favor and not a responsibility." "Stand your ground and say no, and keep saying no, otherwise this sister will continue to bully you." "However, the sister who respected your boundaries, imho, is awesome." "You def help her out if it’s convenient for you." "The fact that you felt the need to constantly remind your other sister you weren’t babysitting your kids and she’s still expecting you to do it says you shouldn’t do any favors for her at all." ~ binjamins "NTA. I do believe in helping out family when you can, but they don’t get to just dictate that you are their babysitter every time they want you to be." "They made the decision to have children, and they should accept the responsibilities that come with that, including the inconvenience of paying for someone or finding some alternative child care." "Good on you for helping, and you definitely should at times, but you’re not obligated to at all times, especially if you informed them you would be unavailable." ~ Reademallj "NTA - You were very clear that you weren't available, she has had 3 months to make alternative arrangements, and it's frankly insane that your sister is trying to make her lack of planning for childcare your problem." "A lack of planning that almost certainly is due to her being confident she could just forcibly dump them on you at the last second like she's attempting to do." ~ Elivercury "No. She is taking you for granted." "She think if she keeps telling you what to do you will listen." "You are an adult." "Make it clear that if she wants help in the future she needs to ask you and accept that you are going to say no some of the time." "If she pushes, you will say no all of the time." "Her trying to get you to pay for her kids' flights is wild." "They are not your children." "She is not entitled to your time or money." "You do not exist solely to make her life easier." "Do not let her manipulate you through guilt. " "Anytime she tries, say no so she doesn't keep doing it." ~ Sufficient_Song3387 "I have been going through this..." "14 years ago I was babysitting my nieces and nephews all the time." "My new gf was like… hey, respectfully, you are not the parent." "You have to live your own life." "She was my brother and sister-in-law's best friend, and I realized I was always with the kids when they wanted to go out every weekend." "I eventually moved out and minimized the babysitting." "Fast forward, I got a divorce last year and have been spending a lot of time at my dads where the kids live with my brother, who is also divorced." "I missed spending time with them and was happy, but I also know that part of my divorce was due to the kids and family always wanting to come over since I have the house." "I didn’t really dawn on me until now." "I am in a new relationship for 7months now, and it seems like I’m the bank, the therapist, and the peacemaker." "Everyone got too comfortable with me being available." "When I started my new relationship… here came the comments." "Long story short…live your life." "I chose not to have kids, but that doesn’t mean that I am everyone’s never-ending babysitter, etc." "On our family vacation… I did me." "I was asked to watch the kids… which I did not." "Love my family, but then I lost someone partly due to this same situation." "No you are not the AH." ~ NatiMo47 "NTA. You are not their parents, and you are not required to care for them or provide for their care." "You gave them advance notice; don't get sucked in. NO is a complete sentence." ~ helsamesaresap OP came back with an update... "Hi y'all." "Thanks for all the replies; I really thought I was in the wrong here." "I'm currently reading all the comments at my partner's apartment, and she did, in fact, leave the girls with our dad." "I called him, and he said he didn't mind babysitting." "He asked if I was coming for the weekend, and I said no." "I had already told him I was going to be out." "My aunt is going over to help out, though." "I spoke to Sister 2 about the situation, and she agrees with me." "She said she is going to talk to our sister." "We went to 3 bars and 1 party last night!!!" "I needed that night out." "Thanks again!" It's great to hear that you put yourself first, OP. Your sister needs to stop relying on you. You are aloud ot have a life. Good luck with the new job. Enjoy your relationship. --- ### Redditor Sparks Drama After Asking Kid Next To Them At 'Hamilton' To Stop Singing During Show **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/kid-singing-along-reddit/.md Audience expectations differ from place to place. At concerts or sporting events, some interaction, and respectful noise, whereas at theater or ballet, silence is expected. First-time audience members at various events might not be prepared for what is expected of them. Sometimes requiring a little instruction from more experienced attendees. Redditor Upstairs-Course-2552 recently attended a ticketed event they had greatly been looking forward to. Unfortunately, an audience member sitting next to the original poster (OP) was behaving in a way that severely challenged their enjoyment. When the OP asked them to stop, they were met with anything but understanding. Wondering if they stepped out of line, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors: "AITA asking a kid to not sing at live theatre?" The OP explained why they felt compelled to offer some unsolicited parenting advice: "I saw 'Hamilton 'tonight on stage." "Touring show in Orlando." "Not a special sing-a-long version or anything." "A family of 3 sat next to me with a kid of about 10." "From the first line, the kid sang or said every word." "On occasion, the mom joined in." "I often heard them over the show." "After 30 minutes, as politely as possible, I asked the mom to please not sing and talk during the show." "The mom looked at me like I’m a monster and said she wasn’t going to ask a kid that loves the show and is super excited to see it not to sing." "I left, said something to the theatre staff, and they moved me." "My knowledge of etiquette says you stay quiet in a theatre." "AITA?" Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for asking the child to stop singing. Everyone agreed that the OP paid to hear professional actors sing, not the child, and that their parents should have taught them proper etiquette. "NTA." "You paid to hear professional actors perform, not to attend a $100+ karaoke session for an entitled mom and her kid."-Spectre_Omega "NTA." "If they want to sing along, the show is on Disney +."- stinkybinkyboo "NTA." "Mom is doing that kid no favors."- baboonontheride "NTA." "Nobody came to the theater to listen to the mom or her child sing." "It wasn't an interactive performance; they were being rude."- simplewilddog "NTA it's against theatre etiquette to sing along." "People pay to hear the performers, not the audience." "That's why sing-alongs exist." "If you want to sing, you go to the appropriate show for it."- Professional-Scar628 "NTA." "If it’s not a sing-along, then you should be quiet and respectful during the performance."- Potatobubblegum "NTA that would drive me insane." "Very glad you got yourself a new seat."- Jerseygirl2468 "NTA." "Unless the show is encouraging audience participation, then you sit down and STFU."- Owen8288 "NTA." "I’m a music teacher." "I specifically teach kids how to behave in situations like that."- Some_Store7658 "NTA." "People attend shows to hear the cast sing, not the audience." "Many shows I've been to have had to remind the attendees of this fact."- poptophazard "Only show singing along is acceptable is Rocky Horror Picture Show." "I will die on this hill." "NTA."- Umeyard "NTA." "The theatre staff should have asked them to shut up or leave." "Enough said." "Glad they moved you."- Desperate_Process_89 "NTA." "I bet everyone within earshot of them were extremely grateful you spoke up." "I hope you were moved to better seats."- crazyKatLady_555 "NTA!" "My daughter is 11, and was introduced to Hamilton at ten; she knows every freakin word." "We have had to tell her she CANNOT sing along if we see it live." "This is also the rule she had to follow when she saw 'Wicked' at age nine, despite knowing the whole score." "Those tickets are expensive. I would have gone full Karen and told an Usher." "Nobody pays that kind of money to listen to a kid next to them have Main Character Energy." "Whattheactualf*ck?"- Spicy7997 "NTA." "That mother was rude as hell, as is anyone who sings along at a professional performance that is not specifically a sing along show. " "You were right to go to the ushers when she proved to have terrible manners."- CaptainFartHole "NTA." "Ushers should have been doing something about it."- tremble_lip "NTA." "That parent has a hand in what's wrong with the world." "She thinks it revolves around her special little snowflake." "We saw one of those candlelight concerts." "It was Classic Rock on Strings." "Six-piece string ensemble." "Beautiful intimate setting, dark except for the (electric) candles." "Music was gorgeous." "Until these 2 twenty something buffoons started singing (horribly) to all the songs." "The rest of the audience was miffed; the musicians were noticeably uncomfortable." "The A-holes were finally escorted out but not without a disturbance on the way out of the theater and into the lobby." "A-holes."- chilibeana "Absolutely NTA." "Singing along is for very specific shows (Six and &Juliet have done singalong versions before) or occasionally a finale where the audience is encouraged to join in." "It’s definitely not for the show itself."- peppermintaerobubble "NTA." "You're not paying to hear the kid and her mom sing." "You approached the problem correctly - you asked them to be quiet, then elevated your complaint to the staff."- Itchy_Juice_2528 "NTA." "That family was 100% in the wrong." "You pay to hear the performers, not your neighbors."- Rare-Progress5009 "NTA." "Parent should have taught and enforced proper theatre etiquette." "Let him sing along at home to the soundtrack."- Mysterious_Wait_3451 "NTA." "Gigantic theatre nerd here, saw my first musical at 6 after begging my parents for tickets for a year." "At the show I was sat between my mom and my grandma with extremely strict instructions not to make a peep unless it was an emergency - in which case I could whisper to my mom." "I had an amazing time at that show." "So did the people around me (I hope)."- PuzzleheadedAsk4505 "NTA, when I was a kid in NYC public schools, our teacher got to take us to see Tommy and The Who." "He taught us about how we were to behave in that theater, sit in your seat, keep quiet amongst other things." "He would have pulled us outta there so quick if we had talked or sang!"- SpiralBreeze "NTA." "They should have enforced the rules with the family then kicked them out if they didn’t follow them."- bostoncrabapple "NTA." "You just live in a country increasingly filled with self-absorbed, rude people."- WinterAir4769 "NTA! " "That's absurd!" "We're all excited to see THE ACTORS SING!" "Adult or child, if they can't just silently hum along and tap their foot, they have no business in a theater that isn't a showing for children or sing-along." "That's not harsh; that's just unacceptable." "At that age it's just rude." "Both mother and child."- monkerry "NTA, kid is old enough to know theater etiquette & to understand other people paid to see the performers."- LittleCowGirl "NTA." "I get frustrated with people glimpsing their phone constantly in the movie theaters; I couldn't fathom going to an actual Broadway-style show and having someone singing along the entire time." "Sadly, sounds like they didn't learn anything and will be portraying you as the villain for the unforeseen future when they talk about the Hamilton show the child 'loves'."- EnigmaGuy "Oh HEEELLLLLL NO!" "You didn't pay to see Chucky sing." "You paid to see the actual actors sing." "No f**king way." "NTA." "In any way, shape, or form."- ParticularHappy6587 "NTA." "Every theater parent thinks their child is the next Idina Menzel." "If your child loves live performances, teach them live-performance etiquette."- Significant_Cup4521 "NTA." "That wasn’t Hamiltunes." "It was a professional performance." "Ushers should have made them leave."- Imsortofok "I personally think NTA, as you were polite about it and then just moved yourself."- marvchuk "NTA!" "Yes, it can feel 'mean' to confront people in situations like this, because there's honestly no 'nice' way to go about it...and that's because what THEY are doing is rude and obnoxious, so they need to be confronted." "So any interaction with them will seem 'confrontational'." "But like others have already said: You didn't buy tickets to listen to the AUDIENCE sing." "They need to stfu." "Honestly, there should be signs at events like this to remind the audience members that singing along is not acceptable."- Feldan_Ospreigh It's sweet and touching that the child was so excited to see Hamilton, and knew all the words to all the songs going in. Even so, while he's more than welcome to sing along in the car, he needed to leave the singing to the professionals. Something his mother should have taught him before the show started; while this might have been the first time another audience member scolded him, it won't be the last if he keeps it up. --- ### Teen Asks If It's Wrong To Eat Meat On Class Trip With Hindu Friend Who Won't Be Able To Sit Near Her **Published:** October 15, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/hindu-class-trip-reddit/.md We all have friends with different religious beliefs than we do. Most of the time, this isn't an issue, as people respect that their beliefs might differ from others. Sometimes, however, tensions arise when one friend's religious beliefs might create unexpected conflicts. Sometimes even threatening relationships. Redditor Ok_Structure4777 was looking forward to an upcoming trip they were taking with their class at school. Somewhat dampening the original poster (OP)'s excitement, however, was that one of their friends who was also going on the trip had taken some of the enjoyment out of a previous class trip. Owing to her religious beliefs. While the OP wanted to be respectful of their friend's religion, they also didn't want to miss out on certain parts of the trip. At a loss for what to do, the OP took to the subreddit "Am I The A**Hole Here" (AITAH). Unlike the similar 'Am I The A**Hole' (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Voting acronyms aren't required, and no final judgment is declared. The OP asked fellow Redditors: "Would I Be The A**Hole (WIBTAH) if I (16) had meat/eggs during a trip despite knowing my friend might not be able to touch/sit near me if I do that?" The OP explained why they were a bit wary about their upcoming school trip: "My school trip leaves next week." "Last time, I was rooming with this friend, so I couldn't eat any meat/eggs because I wouldn't be allowed to sleep in the same room as her (she's deeply religious), which I later regretted because I like eating chicken and my friends were bragging about how good it was." "This year we'll be in different rooms, so I'll be eating whatever I want, but I'm pretty sure she won't be able to touch me if I do that." "She follows a specific deity in Hinduism and I think they avoid meat because he is known for non-violence(?) but I'm not sure because I'm more or less atheist." "So WIBTAH?" Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community agreed that the OP had every right to eat chicken on the school trip if they wanted to. Everyone agreed that while the OP's friend had every right to follow her own personal religious beliefs, she should not expect everyone to cater to her: "When someone’s religion dictates what they can/can’t do, that’s fine." "When someone’s religion dictates what you can/can’t do, that’s not ok."- andmewithoutmytowel "Why does she have to touch you?" "If her religion prevents her from touching non-vegans(?) then that's a her problem, not a you problem." "You should enjoy a balanced diet that brings you joy." "NTA."- ChibbleChobble "Why does she need to touch you?" "As for the sitting near you - does she not go out in public?" "She must be in shops/venues/cafes/transport/school all the time next to people who she doesn't know what they've eaten." "NTA." "She is manipulating you." "Or attempting to." "Don't be letting that happen when you're 16, or it'll become a habit and folk will do it the rest of your life."- AuroraDF "Her religion is not your problem."- pablo_kickasso "I was raised in Hinduism." "While many Hindus are vegetarians, and therefore don’t eat meat or want it cooked in their house, I have never heard anyone espousing restrictions on what others could eat on a trip - particularly non-Hindus." "And the touching thing is batsh*t crazy." "This person is either deeply misguided or using religion as an excuse to be disturbingly controlling."- Objective-Apple7805 "NTA those or her rules for her religion that she chooses to follow." 'You never have to modify your own regular behavior for someone else’s choices." "You live your life and let her make her choices."- beepbeepboop74656 "I thought she was highly allergic or something and was like, 'Yeah, definitely TA,' but what? her religion is her business. do what you want." "NTA."- Aggressive-Ad-5983 "What the hell?" "If those are actual religious requirements, then she and her family need to tell the school, and it’s up to them to adjust." "You have just as much right to eat or not eat items." "Flip it." "What if your religion said you had to eat eggs and fried chicken?" "Would you expect her to have to follow along?" "You’re never too young to learn this …do not set yourself on fire to keep others warm." "If this person has an issue with someone eating meat and eggs, then it’s her problem to solve not yours."- WhichWitch9402 "I’m sorry, does the meat seep out of your pores or something?" "This sounds insanely controlling of your 'friend'."- Acceptable-Food-8161 "YWNBTA." "This is a friend, not a spouse." "You don’t need to touch her." "I don’t know what religion says she can’t be near people who eat chicken or eggs, but if she attends a school or goes out in public then she’s been near people who eat chicken or eggs, and she’s making up these rules for you because she enjoys trying to control your behavior." "Eat what you choose."- 7625607 "NTA what the f*ck?"- Forest_Spirit_7 "Her religion is for her to follow, you don't have to do sh*t if you don't t feel like it." "NTA."- panspal "NTA." "You should eat and drink the things you want to, your friend can eat or drink the things they want to." "I've not heard of a religion that means the person they're sharing a space with cannot consume specific foods, you need to stand up for yourself." "Also, as an aside, how much does your friend touch you that this is a major concern of yours?" "I'll hug a close friend to say hello or goodbye, but that's it!"- ZigZagIntoTheBlue "NTA." "There is no reason you couldn't have eaten that when sharing a room; it's not like you brought it into the room." "If she's that religious, she needs to room with someone of the same religion or pay more for her own room." "Enjoy the chicken!"- JerseyLC8 "NTA." "Has anyone else offered to room with his friend?" "Because I’m sorry, I think you’re the only one she has gotten to agree to this arrangement because it’s utterly ridiculous." "This is a school trip; she needs to speak with the teachers about arranging a single room or a vegan roommate if her religious beliefs are that important." "If the school refuses to accommodate her, then it’s not your problem, and you’re absolutely not the a-hole for not going along with it." "And the comment in response I saw you said, from what you know, she avoids me and refuses to sit near people who eat meat." "Have you met your parents, and how have they confirmed this religion exists?" "Have any of the teachers at your school confirmed that she has this religion?" "Cause it sounds like there’s a good chance it’s not real."- crayonnoodle "NTA." "Her religious beliefs are hers." "She doesn't get to control you because of them." "If she cannot have contact with you because of your dietary choices then this is something that she and her parents need to figure out on their own." "She really shouldn't be going on the trip or even to school then since she has contact with people who consume meat and dairy there." "Eat what you want and don't bend." "If any teacher tries to tell you you're not allowed, call your parents." "It is not your responsibility to follow her religious beliefs." "Don't be an ah about it." "Don't laugh and say you ate meat or whatever." "Talk to your parent before the trip and have them talk to the school." "This way they can sort it out beforehand." "If you live in the US, this would be a legal issue if the school tried to make you not eat meat and/or dairy because you're rooming with her." "So, keep that in mind."- Nymph-the-scribe "YANTA magine an all powerful deity that cared that someone eats meat or eggs." "Absolutely ridiculous."- O_C_Demon "It's not your religion." "Her limitations are for her to manage, not you."- Renzieface "You would not be the ah, how can your friend be on this trip if everyone around her is eating animal products?" "This doesn't make sense to me."- rammyago97 "I think someone is making up bullshit about her religion to control you." "NTA." "There is no religion that requires the follower's roommate to abstain from meat and eggs while staying in the same room but is perfectly ok with you guys being friends in the first place."- redditreader_aitafan It would be wrong if the OP flaunted eating meat in front of their friend, or worse yet tried to force them to eat it. However, it would be similarly wrong for the OP's friend to dictate what the OP could and couldn't do because of her religious beliefs. Hopefully, they can each enjoy the trip without judgment or pressure. --- ### Pregnant Parent Sets Off Sister By Using Her Middle Name For Baby To Honor Family Tradition **Published:** October 14, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/honor-family-tradition-reddit/.md Every parent tries to pick the absolute "perfect" baby name. But does the "perfect" name exist? And when a name is chosen, other family members may try to call dibs. Talk about family drama. Redditor u/darling-daffodil wanted to share her experience and get feedback, so she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. She asked: "AITA: Sister is throwing a fit about us using her middle name for our baby?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "I am pregnant with our first child; we’ve been trying for years, and it finally happened, and this will likely be our only child." "My youngest sister has already had two children she did not pass the name on to." "It is also my grandmother’s middle name, mother’s middle name, and goes back several generations in my family." "When I told her I wanted to use it, she blew up at me and told me it was HER middle name to pass on, not mine, and planned to use it with her next child." "I told her it was just a middle name and I didn’t see why we couldn’t both use it, since it is a family name and not just hers." "She said if I use it, I’m an a-hole and she won’t ever speak to me again." "I don’t want to ruin my relationship with my sister over a name, but I feel like she’s being a bit unreasonable because it is also my mother and grandmother’s middle name." "My husband is really upset because he was really attached to the name and says I shouldn’t just roll over to my sister’s demands for a kid she hasn’t even conceived yet." The OP was left to wonder: "I still likely won’t use it, but if I do am I really being an AH?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole. "NTA. It's a family middle name, even though she has it too; also, she doesn't own the name." ~ Adaya_F_Rakshasa "NTA. I gave my daughter my sister's middle name." "It was also the middle name of my great-grandmother." "I just gave it to her." "I didn’t ask her permission." "It’s a name, and your sister doesn’t own it." "It’s very common for middle names to be passed on." "Some families, all women have the same middle name." "You should name your baby that anyhow." "She doesn’t have copyright on a name." ~ bamagurl06 "All of my siblings and I gave our oldest daughters my middle name." "All of our kids gave their oldest daughters my middle name." "We’re hoping that tradition will continue through the generations since it was my mom’s middle name." ~ Emergency-Crew6564 "My great-grandparents had five boys." "All five had the same middle name." "It was actually kind of common back then because middle names weren't assigned at birth in their home country." "So, as an add-on, they paid homage to the mother's family by using her father's name, which was John." "All five boys used their middle names to name their boys; only in their case, they flipped the middle and the first." "So, five grandsons were now named John 'Olaf,' John 'Paul.'" "John 'Peter,' John 'Lars,' and John 'Anders.'" "All the boys went by their middle names." "Four of my uncles also had boys, and John was once again recycled." "The uncle that only had girls named his daughter 'Johanna,' so he kind of got into it, too." "Nobody is angry with anybody for using the name." "Nobody threw a hissy fit." "All of my John cousins plan on continuing some part of the tradition, and I used it for my son." "Johanna isn't going to name any of her kids any form of John, because her last name is... Johnson." ~ Tight_Steak_232 "NTA. Say... 'We are using the name in honor of mom and grandma. If you have another child and if you want to use it in honor of yourself, that’s lovely too. I don’t want to fall out over something so small as me using a name thousands of other people use, but if that is your choice, I will accept it. We will not be changing our decision and very much hope you will not be so destructive over us honoring Mom and Grandma.'” "And learn this lesson: do not share your names until baby is born." "You can monogram things later." "And people are less ugly when they get news of names while looking at a tiny baby who is already named." ~ Viva_Veracity1906 "NTA, most likely it never crossed your sister's mind to want to use the name until she knew someone else wanted it." "Also, I grew up with a guy friend, and everyone in his mom’s family had the same 2nd middle name." "Both boys and girls." "She’s also being very overdramatic and self-centered." "If this is what ruins your relationship, that’s on her and therapy, not you." ~ Murky_County_7353 "My mom's middle name is my grandma's first name." "My middle name is the same." "My brother used it for his daughter's middle name." "When I had a daughter, she also got the same middle name." "My daughter is too young to realize." "But my niece loves that she has the same middle name as her cousin." "My daughter also has another middle name, which is a family name on my husband's side, and his cousin had a baby a month before us and used it as her daughter's first name." "The world didn't explode." ~ Acemegan "My brother and I had our sons 5 months apart." "They both have the same middle name, which is my brother's middle name, which is our father's middle name, which was either his father's or grandfather's middle name!" "If our sister ever has a son, he will have that middle name!" "And we even have a childhood friend who, if she has a son, will also give him that middle name!" "Absolutely none of us have ever made a fuss about it; we actually think it's pretty neat." "You really shouldn't let your sister or anyone dictate what you name your child." "Do what makes you and your husband happy, and if that causes your sister to stop speaking to you, then will that relationship really be that big of a loss?" ~ redhairanddontcare "Your sister is a drama queen who throws tantrums over being told no." "Just do what you want with the name." "One of two things will happen: either she stops speaking to you, and you no longer have the stress of her nonsense drama, or she backs down because she was bluffing and hoping you'd give in but actually has no intention of letting her target audience go (the more likely option)." ~ picturewithatwist "You have to use the name." "Stop giving in to her tantrums just to keep the peace." "It is the only way she will stop." "She is used to getting her way, so she keeps doing it." "Once she learns her tantrums are ineffectual, she will hopefully stop. NTA." ~ ebenner13 "You won't be missing ANYTHING if you can get her never to speak to you again." "She sounds ridiculous!" "Name your little one what you want, and to shut her up, maybe the next time there is a family gathering, make sure to bring up the name of your soon-to-be child." "THEN, let her have a fit about it publicly, so that she can embarrass herself in front of everyone!" "Perhaps THEN she will see how silly she is being." "Good luck with your new addition! 🤗." ~ MamaDee1959 "My husband was the only grandson/great grandson to be raised by his great-grandmother." "He always wanted to use her name as a daughter’s middle." "Well, we ended up needing to do IVF; in the meantime, his uncle (only 12 years older) adopted a little girl." "They gave her the middle name." "At first, my husband was so upset and bent out of shape about it." "Especially not being her 'blood' and that grandson not being that close to her." "I, however, thought it was sweet." "If they had a bio daughter, they would’ve done the same thing." "I also never believed in bio kids being more family than adopted." "My husband eventually got over the hurt of it, and we also named our daughters' middle names that." "Instead, it’s a cute thing the girls talk about sharing now." "Use it." "Your sister is whack." ~ Affectionate-Bear740 "NTA. She doesn’t own the name, just like your mother and grandmother didn’t when they passed it down." "It’s honestly so stupid." "Not that it matters, but it’s a middle name." "Not to be remembered or asked about very often." "Congrats on the baby!!!" "Best of luck with the pregnancy!" ~ EibhlinOD "Holy cow!!!" "Tell your sister to grow the f*** up!! Yikes!!!" "It's not HER name!!" "Did she trademark it?" "Is she going to sue anyone who uses HER name without HER permission?!" "Honestly, never speaking to you again sounds pretty good to me." "Stand your ground, name your child what you want, and ignore the narcissist. NTA." ~ mama_d63 "NTA. But your main issue lies in the sentence 'I don't want to ruin my relationship with my sister.'" "She's the one ruining the relationship over some BS." "Not you." "You roll over on this; it'll only give her the confidence to keep demanding anything she wants of you, no matter how unreasonable." ~ jmc4297 "NTA. Tell her I said I hope she has nothing but boys from here on out." ~ bellonientes_530 Reddit has your back, OP. Your sister sounds unreasonable. You focus on your baby. If this is the name that feels right... you have every right to use it. Congratulations and good luck. --- ### Woman Epically Calls Out Older Woman For Coughing On Her Neck In Public **Published:** October 14, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/coughing-on-neck-reddit/.md Today, public healthcare is paramount. Post Covid, everyone seems on edge around people who cough and sneeze. Commuting in New York City can feel like an obstacle course when it comes to avoiding disease. No one wants to go to the hospital if they can avoid it. That is why some people don't appreciate being blatantly coughed on. Redditor u/Professional-Pea6803 found herself in a dilemma regarding a stranger's personal health care concerns, so she turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback. Like AITA, the AITAH subreddit lets posters ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. She asked: "AITAH for coughing in an old woman's face?" The original poster (OP) explained: "So the title sounds super wrong, but please hear me out." "I (31 F) was in line for a popular sub chain and behind me was a woman in her eighties or so. " "I wasn't really paying attention to her until I heard her cough and felt spit land on my neck. " "My hair was up in a high bun because I am a dog groomer, and I keep my hair up to avoid getting it snagged in the nail grinder when I do dogs' nails." "I wiped the back of my neck, and sure enough, it was a bit wet with spit from this lady coughing." "I thought it was a one-time thing, no big deal." "Then she coughs again, and more spit hits the back of my neck, and I think, 'Did she really just do that again?'" "I turn around and politely ask this woman, who's older than the sunrise, to cover her mouth when she coughs because it's the polite thing to do, and turn back around feeling quite annoyed." "Lo and behold, she coughs again, and it was a loud, hacking cough sound, and once again I feel spit hit the back of my neck." "I turned around and said firmly, 'Cough on my neck again, and you'll regret it.'" "I moved forward in line to be closer to the person in front of me and hoped this old-as* woman would have the decency to stop after being told twice to please cover her mouth." "She coughed again, and I swear this time was so dramatic it couldn't have been an accident." "I don't know what came over me, but I gathered as much saliva in my mouth without thinking and just turned around and coughed HARD directly into her face." "My cough was forceful enough to make her take a step back and declare that I was 'extremely rude' and decide, I guess, to go to another establishment because she just flat-out walked out of the place." "I'm not proud of what I did, but honestly, how many times can you ask someone not to cough on you?" "I told my coworkers, my husband, and a few family members and friends." "My husband and in-laws are on my side, but others have told me I'm TAH because older people can be immunocompromised, and she coughed on the back of my neck, whereas I coughed directly in her face. " "They said I could have really gotten her sick and it'd be my fault if she did." "In my honest opinion, she should have covered her mouth like a normal person." "My nephew is three, and he does just fine covering his mouth." The OP was left to wonder: "Anyways am I the AH for coughing in her face?" Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here. "NTAH!" "I live with my 84-year-old mother." "It sounds to me like the woman didn't like being called out, and it wasn't an accident after the first time." "Some elderly people are entitled and MEAN." ~ DKat1990 "NTA." "They said I could have really gotten her sick and it'd be my fault if she did." "To anyone who says this, ask them, 'At what age do we stop being responsible for ourselves?''" "Just because someone is old doesn't mean they get a pass to be a jerkface... like acting like older people are helpless pissed me off enough to call my grandma, and she wanted me to tell you..." "My grandmother is 94." "In the past 5 years, she has lost all of her friends, my grandpa (72+ years of marriage), and she lost both of her legs and is wheelchair bound... She's proud of you and thought it was hilarious." "Her words to you are, 'If the old hag is terrified of being sick, personal space would solve her idiocy.'" "She used a curse word instead of hag and had a few other curse words in it that I took out." "And as someone who is immunocompromised as well, I thought it was hilarious too!" "BUT I'm smart enough to understand that when I'm terrified of getting sick, I actually try and create a barrier of space around me rather than trying to share my germs." ~ Dull-Field2550 "NTA. You warned her." "She didn’t listen." "Doesn’t matter that she was old." "She knew what she was doing." "It’s an insult to the elderly to assume that they must automatically be too senile to know better." "She clearly did, as she verbalized herself when she called you rude and stormed out." "She knows what rudeness is and is therefore capable of getting back what she gave." As a light germophobe, the thought of someone’s spit repeatedly being hacked onto my bare neck would have turned me into the Hulk. You could have screamed, cursed, or shoved her. One cough was pretty restrained, imho. "Seems like she got a lesson she needed to learn." "Hopefully she never spews her spittle on another innocent victim." ~ bananapineapplesauce "NTA. She needed a taste of her own medicine." "I don’t know what it is with old people, but it seems like some of them regress mentally, and they have the mental capacity of a toddler." "So things like saying please and thank you, covering their mouth when sneezing and coughing, and washing their hands after using the restroom are just lost on them." "I’ve had them cough in my ear while we’re standing in line or talking over my head because I’m short." "It’s like they don’t realize how rude they’re being!" ~ UncleNedisDead "NTA. It's precisely because of people like this woman that sub shops have to have those glass protectors as you put in your order." "You tried to ignore her." "You tried to use your words." "What exactly was left, shy of leaving the place?" "You shouldn't be punished because of her grossness." ~ SnarkySheep "NTA! COVID obviously taught her nothing, and her parents never taught her manners." "In public, you cover your cough." "You could be the one immunocompromised, and she's coughing on you". "As an immunocompromised person, I see nothing wrong with this, especially after she did it on purpose." "What did she expect?" ~ softshoulder313 "NTA, and are you in Reno cause I swear you had my old landlady behind you in line." "She used to refuse to cover her mouth, and she has a constant cough, which she claims is from allergies." "It was so embarrassing to be out in public with her and have everyone look at her like, why won't you cover your damn mouth???" "I can't handle people who can't exercise common sense and common courtesy." ~ goknightsgo09 "As an autoimmune-compromised 60-plus-year-old woman who has survived breast cancer, multiple surgeries, COVID (even with vaccines, and I will continue to get them until they're no longer necessary by anyone ever), currently on two biologics and methotrexate, I applaud your actions!" "She deliberately kept coughing on you without covering her mouth, and the fact that your hand was wet when you brought it around to your own face means you were immediately exposed to any of the germs that she coughed on you!" "Sometimes the only way to teach someone a lesson is to show them how wrong they are in continuing their actions!" ~ MamaBehr33 "NTA. For me, spit is disgusting, and I will involuntarily gag if I even think of getting spit on me." "I would have thrown an absolute fit after the first time." "That is so gross." "Being old is not an excuse for disgusting behavior." ~ VariationArtistic106 "NTA- I work as reception in an Oncology office." "Most of the immuno-suppressed or compromised people that I deal with daily understand that that is a two-way street." "Also, someone who is compromised has already been warned by their specialist to wear a mask." "She was clearly not wearing a mask and therefore is more of a complication than an immunity risk." ~ BedroomEducational94 "OP, while I do think your deciding actions were immature and just as gross as the woman coughing on you, you are NTA for being pissed off about it." "For future reference, depending on local laws and the fact you asked her to cover her mouth multiple times, you could have called the police and then filed assault charges." "Intentional coughing and/or spitting on someone is illegal." ~ Sexy_Smokin_Scorpio Reddit is with you, OP. You were outraged. This woman clearly had no respect for you. You acted out of emotion. It happens. --- ### Sleep-Deprived Woman Called 'Cruel' For Wanting Anxious Cat To Stay In Heated Garage At Night So She Can Sleep **Published:** October 14, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/move-cat-garage-reddit/.md Being a heavy sleeper is often an enviable quality. Not everyone can sleep through anything. For some people, even the tiniest sound can disrupt their sleep for an entire evening. Redditor gr1nreaper was among those for whom an uninterrupted night's sleep was challenging. Something that wasn't helped by an ongoing situation the original poster (OP) was experiencing in her bedroom. When the OP offered her husband a possible solution, he dismissed her as "cruel". Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors: "AITA for wanting to move our anxious senior cat to our heated garage room at night? My husband says it's cruel." The OP explained how a recent suggestion was anything but "the cat's meow" to her husband: "I (44 F) am severely sleep-deprived, and it’s causing a massive crisis with my husband." "Our senior male cat has age-related cognitive decline and extreme anxiety." "Every night, he paces for hours, forcefully picks at his claws, and howls—often waking me up multiple times a night." "We've tried everything: standard medications failed (or had paradoxical aggressive effects), behavioral tests yielded nothing, and he bypasses automatic slow feeders instantly." "My husband sleeps through all of this, while my health is completely destroyed." "For months, I’ve begged him for help, and tried everything short of prescription sleep meds to get by." "His response?" "Since it doesn’t bother him, it’s 'my problem'." "Our house is too small to isolate the cat indoors." "However, we have a connected garage with an attached storage room." "It’s entirely safe, free of fumes, and we can easily heat it to a comfortable 70°F." "I proposed setting it up with a bed, food, water, a nightlight, and a litter box, and conditioning him to stay there only at night so I can finally sleep." "When I suggested this, my husband lashed out." "He claims putting the cat out there is cruel because the cat 'likes being with humans'." "He accused me of hating him and the pet." "Driven to absolute exhaustion from being ignored for months, I snapped and said some unkind things about the cat that I didn't mean." "My husband immediately weaponized my outburst to attack my character and deflect from the issue." "As 'proof' of working with me, he bought the cat a new bed—which changes nothing about the behavior—and calls me delusional for pointing out that an unneeded bed isn't a solution." "I feel like my health and physical well-being are being treated as disposable just to satisfy the cat's nighttime preference to wander." "AITA?" Fellow Reditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for wanting the cat to sleep in the garage. However, many agreed that it wasn't the cat the OP should expel from her bedroom, but rather her husband: "NTA." "Sounds like your cat’s quality of life has declined and is worth a convo with your vet for the humane options." "Maybe it’s a nightly anxiety med, maybe it’s something else." "On top of that, and much bigger, you’ve got a husband issue." "He’s TA." "There is a reason why sleep deprivation is a torture tactic."- Kreativecolors "Total cat lady here!" "My comment history will support this." "You offered the cat overnights in a perfectly acceptable accommodation, and your thoughtless husband would rather you suffer." "You are sleep-deprived and spoke poorly about the wrong demented animal… the cat isn’t trying to harm you, but your husband sure is." "He’s a major AH." "I have a feeling that this is hardly the only issue in your marriage where your husband is so callous towards your needs." "NTA."- LunasFavorite "NTA." "But it sounds like the cat needs to be evaluated for quality of life." "Without knowing specifics it might be time to put him down." "Putting the cat in the garage will likely make it worse." "You also need to evaluate your relationship with your husband." "Letting a situation get this bad is not normal, and it sounds abusive."- Sea-Raspberry1210 "Definitely NTA, but I am VERY concerned about your AH husband." "I am a cat lover." "Would do anything for my babies." "If one of mine started having extreme symptoms like that, we would be discussing options with the vet up to / including potential euthanasia." "The cat is obviously in distress and something must be done." "I'm not sure that putting the cat in a new area would improve much for the cat, I think it would make it worse." "Biggest issue here though in my mind is how your husband reacted to this." "I get loving your furry baby with all your heart but you also love your spouse, right?" "Why would he just be fine with you AND the car suffering?" "He sounds like a piece of work." "You're just trying to come up with solutions." "All he is doing is getting defensive." "Frankly, if my husband spoke to me that way, he and the cat could both sleep in the garage, or I would be sleeping at a friend's or family member's house." "I know that isn't an option for everyone, but he needs to have some consequences and needs to apologize." "What an AH."- ChainmaillePrincess "Massively NTA." "Do you have a relative or friend who lives nearby who wouldn't mind if you started sleeping over at night?"- Lythaera "NTA." "Your husband has obviously made his bed." "Now let him lie in it." "In the garage, beside the cat."- Xtrasloppy "I mean…moving the cat to the garage isn’t going to stop the cat from being anxious or meowing all night looking for whatever he’s looking for." "All you’re doing is putting the problem away so it doesn’t bother you." "I agree it would be cruel to separate the cat since it’s confused and seeking assurance." "How about talking to your husband about staying with the cat when it wakes you up?" "NTA but you do need to find a solution to easing your cats anxiety/confusion, even if that means having the talk with your vet after exhausting all options."- EclecticEvergreen "NTA." "He said it was your problem." "So you get to come up with a solution that works for you."- BarnacleOk6561 "Sounds like the poor lil dude has dementia." "Poor bubs." "Talk to the vet about the baby’s quality of life." "In the meantime, maybe try earplugs or noise-canceling sleep earbuds, or make the garage a cozy girl cave and retreat there for rest at night." "By the way, your husband sucks, and I suggest you upgrade to a more empathetic one." "NTA."- CanUFeelItMrKrabs "I've read through your post and responses." "It sounds like your cat isn't the only one having a QOL crisis." "The way your husband treats you is not the way you treat someone you love." "This is not normal behavior." "I suspect that as someone in the thick of it, you don't have a good perspective on this." "Ask yourself: what would you say if this was happening to a sister or aunt or your own mother?" "How would you feel?" "What advice would you give?" "NTA in any way."- invisible-bug "I’m probably going to get downvoted to hell for saying this, but after working as a vet tech for over 20 years, I feel like this is one of those times I need to say it." "His quality of life is poor, and it’s making yours poor as well." "When we consider humane euthanasia, we need to always, ALWAYS think quality over quantity." "This is not fair to either of you." "And I know well that it’s easier said than done." "Truly, I get it." "But our job as the owners is to love them, and letting them go peacefully and painlessly is a last act of love." "Moving your cat into the garage may in fact make his anxiety and cognitive decline much worse and rapidly so." "What I have always told clients is that it is always better to let them go on a good day rather than their worst day." "It’s always better a week too soon than a minute too late." "I’m so very sorry that you and your buddy are going through this." "This part is always so painful, but all the parts before it make it so very worth it." "Best of luck, OP." "NTA."- MaggieMay1519 "NTA." "Your husband is putting the cat over you."- JediLincoln14 "NTA." "But your husband is for putting your needs secondary to the cat's." "A cat should not be compromising your sleep to this point and you've suggested a totally reasonable compromise."- winecardi If the OP suggested something that put the cat in danger, the OP's husband would have a right to be angry. That wasn't the case, though; all the OP wanted was a good night's sleep. If this is too much for her husband to handle, maybe the OP should suggest he sleep in the heated garage with the cat. --- ### Guy Upset After Actress Girlfriend Didn't Warn Him About Her Full Frontal Nudity In Movie He Invited His Parents To See **Published:** October 14, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/girlfriend-warn-nudity/.md Comfort levels are unique to each person and depend on the issue at hand. Our personal comfort levels can also cloud our judgment about our friends' and family's. Sometimes, this can lead us to accidentally create an awkward situation. The girlfriend of Redditor Crypto-Carl-9 was excited to share a project she had been working on with his family. Of course, the original poster (OP) and his family were thrilled to support his girlfriend. After seeing his girlfriend's project, however, the OP felt shocked and embarrassed, telling her she should have warned him and his family. Wondering if he was being unreasonable, the OP took to the subreddit "Am I The A**hole Here" (AITAH). Unlike the similar 'Am I The A**Hole' (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Voting acronyms aren't required, and no final judgment is declared. The OP asked fellow Redditors: "AITAH for suggesting that my gf should have told me beforehand that the film she made contains nude scenes?" The OP explained why he felt his girlfriend should have warned him and his family about what they were in for: "I (30 M) have been seeing my gf (29 F) for 9 months." "We both work in television production, and we met on a TV show set about 15 months ago." "It's been going really well and over the past couple months, she has really gotten to know my family and she gets along with them very well, my sister in particular, which makes me happy." "I haven't gotten to know hers at all because they all live on a different coast." "The entire time I've known her she has been working on a super low-budget indie film, 50 minutes long, written, directed by, edited by, and starring her, shooting and editing sporadically, about a low-income woman needing to get an abortion but not being able to afford it." "Most of the film was already done when we got together, with most of the footage shot years ago, but when she finally finished it 6 months ago she refused to screen it for anyone, including me, until she could premiere it but she would talk daily about how proud she is of it (not a complaint, to be clear, I'm very proud of her also)." "I only saw little clips here and there, but obviously I was dying to see it." "Last weekend she arranged a private friends, family, and crew screening at the semi-local art house theater that seats 50 people." "It was mostly people that worked on it and some of our industry friends, and then she asked me to invite my family because she needed to fill as many seats as possible for the event organizers." "I told everyone in my immediate family, and most of them showed up to show their support (it was free; she paid to rent the theater) - my mom, my dad, my sister, and my sister's husband all came." "I was not that surprised in retrospect because she'd told them all she was making the film a million times and they all said they wanted to see it." "She talked about it frequently when around them." "I was totally unaware of and unprepared for the amount of nudity she decided to include in the film." "Not even a few minutes into the film, my stomach sank when she appeared full frontal nude in front of a mirror and the shot held for about a minute (or at least it felt that way) showing everything - rear, breasts and vulva." "There was another scene where she is topless towards the middle of the film, and then she showed between her legs again in the closing scene of the film when the character gets the procedure." "And by this I mean there is a shot of her laying nude from the waist down, vulva fully showing on camera." "I had absolutely no idea about this and I found it extremely difficult to concentrate on the rest of the film." "I am very proud of her work and the film itself is very good." "The amount of work that goes into actually making a low-budget indie almost entirely by yourself is amazing, but I really wish she had given a heads-up about the content." "Not only have our mutual friends and industry peers seen it, but now almost my whole family - including my dad - have seen my girlfriend completely naked." "All of them were very respectful and didn't say anything about the nudity afterwards but it's all I've been thinking about." "Later on I asked her why she didn't tell me about the nudity and she said firstly that it would have ruined the viewing experience as it's meant to be surprising, and secondly that she wasn't sure how I'd feel about it and didn't want me to be nervous or start an argument/ruin my excitement." "Well, she's right about that." "What I can't personally fathom is knowing full well that you appear naked in the movie and then asking your significant other (me) to invite their family, including my brother, who thankfully could not make it." "I know she is proud of the movie, and she should be, but why would you purposely invite your SO's family to see you naked?" "It might be worth pointing out that she is not traditionally an actor, has never acted in anything before, and mostly works in set decoration and props." "She only played the character in her film because she didn't have the money to pay an actress." "I was surprised because she is usually very modest and doesn't tend to show off her body." "She's the kind of person that normally wouldn't even post photos of herself wearing a bathing suit." "Obviously narrative filmmaking is what she wants to do with her career because she has been posting all about the film on her social media." "To be clear, I'm not saying she should not have included these scenes - I understand their narrative purpose in the story, none of the nudity in the film has a sexual context - but I think it would have been fair to at least tell me before I invite my family that there is not only nudity, but lots of it. If this relationship continues, I would have preferred to not have my father and brother-in-law know what my girlfriend's vagina looks like, something by which she is apparently completely unfazed." "She said later on, 'When I eventually post it online, everyone is gonna see it. It's part of the movie'." "And there wasn't anything in particular she could do to accommodate my family members." "But yes, there was; she could have at least given me a heads-up." "If they're gonna watch it online, whatever, I can't stop them, but sitting behind my parents and my BIL all looking at my gf's naked body together is not a memory I will back on fondly." "If the situation were reversed and I were inviting her mother and sisters to see a movie where I show my penis multiple times, I would have definitely at least told her as a courtesy, but evidently she does not agree, or even understand why I was so surprised." "She seems to think the necessity of the scenes within the film overrides my personal comfort boundaries." "AITAH?" Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community agreed that the OP was right to feel his girlfriend should have given him and his family some warning. Everyone agreed that not only should the OP's girlfriend have given him a heads-up, but she also should have shown some contrition for putting the OP in a position that made him uncomfortable: "NTA." "There's a reason movies have ratings, and usually content warnings." "Saying 'hey BTW there's nudity' doesn't ruin the impact of the scene, but viewers have the right to decide if they want to see it or not." "Just because it's art, doesn't make it less awkward to unexpectedly flash your no-no area to your boyfriend's entire family." "They should have had the chance to say 'No thanks, that's not something I want to see'." "Just like for any other movie."- Styx-n-String "NTA." "She should have advised you - & guests - that there was nudity (beyond 'R' from your description)." "If she was focused on filling seats, her omission may have been deliberate." "No issue w/nudity, but would appreciate a heads up."- unrepentantsoul "NTA!" "I work in theatre stage management (so with a lot of intimacy directors), and a warning is the least she could’ve given; I’m so sorry for that." "It’s not artsy or cool to jump graphic content visual on people without a warning." "Ew."- Silent_Bite_2745 "NTA." "The bigger issue is her not acknowledging that she put you in a tough spot and then failed to recognize your feelings." "In other words, there's no room for you in her world, and she will do this again and again."- Johnny-Weedseed "NTA." "Why the hell would she want to invite your family to that."- Fit-Beginning-3035 There's nothing wrong with the OP's girlfriend being comfortable showing off her body to others. However, not everyone is comfortable with nudity, be it their own or other people's. Something the OP's girlfriend might want to consider next time she recommends that anyone watch her film. Whether she knows them or not. --- ### Woman Shuts Down Her Mom's Expectation That She'll Be Full-Time Caregiver For Brothers With Disabilities **Published:** October 13, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/disabled-brothers-caretaker-reddit/.md Caring for a child who can never live independently is a big responsibility for their parents, but what happens when their parents are no longer able to care for their child? Does the responsibility immediately fall to whatever other children they have? A woman with an aversion to capitalization and a fondness for exclamation points turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback over her brothers' future care. Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. Xdustbinx asked: "AITAH for not wanting to commit to caring for brothers with disabilities?" The original poster (OP) explained: "my mum expects me (21, female) to care for my high need brothers (23, male; 24, male) when she and her husband pass on. this is all based on what i said when i was 11: 'of course i'll care for them mum!'." "my mum is 46!! i have brought up that she may not need to worry about that, since i've also read that my brothers may not outlive us, which is horrible to think about obviously! she flipped her sh*t though, she wants to believe they'll have a fulfilling life." "now, whenever i bring up future house plans (come january we'll have purchased our house), living plans and work future etc... she always 'reminds' me to think of how i'll care for my brothers at the same time. to which i have to say that im not caring for them!" "i do have family i could live with but unfortunately my partner and i are SO close to buying our own house that we're just waiting it out. she's alright so long as im steering clear of her!" "my mum has 3 other neurotypical children, but they're boys, so she doesn't expect them to care for my brothers because i'm 'naturally more naturing'. it was just my mum's dream to have 7 kids." "my brothers' thoughts are 'as long as it's not me i don't care'. it really feels like im alone in this." "it's frustrating because i don't want to care for those who don't even like me! the 23-year-old always yells and screams at me, sometimes 'threatening' to punch me—and my mum just says it's because i'm the one who never went away!" "my brothers are also well over 185cm. i love my brothers, i really do, but i can't commit to full time care. my partner takes interest because he loves learning, but is also really scared of my mum!" "i've asked her what makes her think that he'll willingly live with me and she just said neither him nor i have a choice in the matter! it's incredibly frustrating and my mum is treating me like i'm a demon for not wanting to be a full time carer for my brothers." "she's even started teaching my partner (22M) how to care for my brothers and it's just... wtf‽‽ she almost cried when i said i planned to have mine and my partner's kids raised in his home country! 'what about your brothers and me‽." "Am i the a**hole?? am i being inconsiderate because i don't want to care for men who barely like me?" "i've tried to negotiate with the fact that there are businesses who will support them, but she just believes that they'll get abused or assaulted. i've tried to tell her that just because i'm not going to be their carer, it doesn't mean i won't visit them, but she's pretty pig-headed." "i'm happy to be the contact person for whatever agency! but she doesn't want them in a home, she wants me personally to care for them." Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "NTA. You can care for them. Have them placed into group housing, and be the contact person for whatever agency you go through. Honestly, even that is more than anyone should ever expect of you." "I have a special needs son. He's 25. He is an enormous responsibility. The idea of institutionalizing him after I am unable to care for him breaks my heart, but I spend over 120 hours a week caring for him, and I cannot imagine dropping that responsibility on my kids." "Your folks do NOT know what the future may bring, and he may end up in a group home before this even becomes an issue." "You matter. Your life matters. An 11-year-old's promise is meaningless and the fact that they hold that up is ridiculous. As nice as it would be for them to feel that their son will have the care they want, it's really selfish." "This isn't about you. It's about them. There are nice places out there. They can save money and find a great place for him, or not—but it really isn't your problem." ~ awesomeluck "NTA, you aren't a home grown caretaker. She needs to figure out the plan for your siblings because your existence isn't for her to control. Live your life. Frankly it's icky because it makes it feel like she had you to be a built in caregiver, though I certainly hope that isn't the case." ~ knight_shade_realms "Move far, far away as soon as you're able to. Another continent if possible. I'm dead serious. She won't make plans for them otherwise, your brothers will ghost you, and you'll never get out from under this burden." ~ Kind-Champion-5530 "Harshly, your mom has a quarter century of history on bad decision making. She had two disabled children at the outset and then kept popping out more and more kids??? There are 6 of you?" "I have no clue why you are still living there. You are an adult and clearly your partner is emotionally supportive of you. You are being physically abused. You and your mom do not get along. Find a job even if not your dream job and rent a room somewhere." "Start working on moving out, pronto. Stop tolerating the abuse; call police if assaulted and perhaps that will generate much needed services for your brothers as well as the involvement of social workers." "Good luck as you plan out living YOUR life, not a Cinderella life at your mom's bidding. NTA." ~ MistySky1999 "NTA. What are the 3 other neurotypical siblings thoughts in this? Maybe between the four of you there can be a plan set in place. Like finding a suitable care facility and coming up with a plan to make sure its paid for." "Maybe if you can show a your mom a plan with a united front from the whole family it might help get her off your back. I'm assuming your mom is in good health so it will be alot of years before anything actually happens." ~ CowtheCatt "Just tell her that you’re her child, not her babysitter and that she needs to make plans for their future that don’t include you in them. NTA. Your mother is fearful for their future, but that doesn’t make it your responsibility. You’re a human, not her back up plan." ~ Mkhldr "I don’t know if you even need to tell her until you’re safely out and on your own. I don’t mean to be cruel but you’ve specified that you’re not doing it. They will not believe you. This has to be a show not tell thing." "Stop focusing on telling them what you’re gonna do and work on doing it. Finish your education, find what you want to do where you want to live (I’d suggest a good safe distance from your parent. I know that sounds cruel but you do not owe the your life and you certainly are not obligated to throw away your future on two people who threaten and intimidate you." "Get yourself sorted, live your life and let them figure out what they’re going to do. Just because you happened to be born a girl and said something in elementary school, doesn’t mean you’re obligated to be a caretaker and servant. I do feel for the brothers, but they bully, threaten and intimidate her. She is not equipped to care for them, she has no desire to and she has no obligation to. She told them no, that’s all there is to it." ~ acegirl1985 "I am a mother to two disabled children, and I'm going to hold your hands when I say this: you deserve better. You are not their parent, and you have been parentified since childhood with the expectation that because you are a woman, it's your job to care for others, and it is absolutely not." "There are organisations for them to get help from, and if they can't, it STILL isn't your job. Leave, cut people off who don't deserve you, and take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself." ~ NicaNocturnal "None of this is your problem. Their mother needs to make plans for them. If she fails to make plans, someone can call adult protective services and have the state take 'custody' of care." ~ Realistic-Try7845 OP is only 21. Locking her into a future commitment is unrealistic when she's only beginning her life as an adult. But maybe that's the plan. --- ### Redditor Sparks Drama By Asking Grandpa To Change His Diaper To Avoid 'Leaking' In Their Car **Published:** October 13, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/diaper-avoid-diaper-reddit/.md Growing older isn't easy. The body goes through many changes. A lot of those changes leave people in difficult situations. Navigating these situations can stir a lot of tension amongst loved ones. Redditor u/LilMissChocolatine wanted to share their experience and get feedback, so they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. They asked: "AITA for asking my grandpa to change his diaper?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "My family thinks I HATE my grandfather." "He's still very mobile and of sound mind, but he had surgery done on his private area after beating cancer that requires him to wear a diaper." "He likes to wait until it is completely full to change it." "Recently, we went on a trip 3 hours from our city; we stopped at a nice, clean place to use the restroom, and I told everybody to go." "He said, 'No, I'm going to wait until I'm leaking.'" "He constantly leaks until his diaper is full." "I texted my grandmother and told her to tell him that he needed to go to the bathroom. " "She told me, 'There's nothing I can do,' and then she got very irritated with me." "We drove further into town to go to a shop, and he screamed, 'Stop, I need to use the bathroom.' "Now, we aren't at a nice, clean place; we are at a raggedy gas station bathroom in a bad neighborhood." "When he got out of the car, I told my grandmother that he shouldn't wait until he is leaking because he's peed on my family's couch and both of his daughters' couches. " "She screamed, 'You guys talk about him behind his back?!!! Now I can't ever go to any of your houses ever again, and I dont have any friends.'" "She does." "Then she burst out crying." "She said, 'We can't tell him when to go to the bathroom because we have to let him decide until he can't anymore.'" "I told my mom what happened, and she said that I was bashing my grandpa." "My whole family thinks I hate him because I told him he needs to change his diaper before it's leaking." "He's 81." The OP was left to wonder: "So... AITA?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole. "ESH. You can’t make him do anything." "You should also realize that your poor grandmother has probably had it up to here with him, too." "She’s probably the one washing her own couches and chairs and car and bed and his clothes." "What you can do is buy a bunch of puppy pee pads and insist he sits on them, and say directly to him: 'When you decide to stop leaking, you don’t have to sit on these. Until then, I’m protecting the car/sofa/etc.'" ~ utahforever79 "A grown man who is fully aware and KNOWS that he is leaking his pi*s and sh*t all over the place is 1000% the as*hole." "And whoever is enabling his DISGUSTING behavior is as well." "Pi*s and sh*t are hazards." "He’s ruined multiple couches because he is doing this on purpose." "You should volunteer to be his nurse and clean up every one of his messes." ~ Strict-Ad597 "Ruining people's couches when you're completely sound-minded is out of line." "The family making you out to be the bad guy for setting basic boundaries is totally wild." ~ VelvetFever6551 "100% agreed." "Absolutely, unequivocally." "Relevant context: I am incontinent." "My bladder retired from duty four years ago, when I was 34." "I have a neurostimulator implanted to help AND am dependent on diapers because the neurostim is NOT 100%." "It only gives me about 60-80% control back." "I leak constantly otherwise—all the time." "And sometimes, I just void completely with no input from me whatsoever." "THAT SAID: it is entirely my responsibility to take care of my messes." "Well, that and my husband, who helps take care of me (I'm disabled)." "I take extra diapers everywhere." "Yes, they are expensive." "I hate that". "Unfortunately, it's expensive being sick." "But holy sh*t, I would be MORTIFIED if I were to soil someone's furniture and then just ignored it!!!" "And yes, the grandfather is 100% TA." "If he is of sound mind, he is the as*hole." "You, OP, are not." "Just because someone's body doesn't work properly doesn't mean it's the responsibility of everyone around to take care of the mess." "It's unpleasant, but it's life." "Society can help make things easier, but ultimately, our bodily functions are OUR OWN responsibilities!" "And urine, unlike some people seem to misunderstand, is NOT sterile." "I am prescribed a medication TO keep my urine sterile (turns it into formaldehyde) because it gets infected far too easily, what with the natural bacteria and whatnot." "It is not sterile by default." "It is a HAZARD." "I just hate it when people give disabled people a free pass to be gross or inconvenience others just because we have it hard." "I don't want to be treated like I'm incapable of being a decent human being simply because my body is broken." "Sorry for the rant." ~ AllowMe-Please "NTA - grandpa is of sound mind, and grandma is enabling him by allowing this to continue, and completely misdirecting her anger." "Grandpa needs to use the bathroom like the other 99% of people on the planet that aren’t babies or completely senile; the whole thing is disgusting." "I would refuse to be around him." ~ scrunchie_one "You are not bashing him." "God, you're the only one treating him like an adult." "He's going to give himself complications or rashes or infections sitting in a wet diaper like that all day, f*cking hell NTA." ~ ColdBrewMouse "NTA. Grandma crying that she can't visit anyone's house tells you she's embarrassed and exhausted, and she heard your comment as blame." "My nonno was the same after his surgery; what worked was his doctor telling him he'd ignore all of us but never the man in the white coat." ~ Realistic_Powers "NTA. I do think there is some kind of family dynamic going on that you are unaware of, though." "Their reactions are irrational." "You are correct that he needs to change his diaper more frequently, but you are not in charge of him." "All you could do is maybe use some preventative measures to protect the furniture." ~ kwyl "I can empathize." "The last time we did a road trip with my elderly F-I-L, he refused to use the bathroom at a rest area like everyone else because he was comfortable and didn’t feel like getting out of the car." "You guessed it, barely 10 minutes later down the highway, he yelled, 'I gotta use the bathroom!'” "It took us another 5 minutes to make it to an exit and hunt down a gas station where he could go, but by then, he’d already sh*t his pants." "NTA. Make him sit on pee pads in the car until he’s ready to take care of his own toileting; if not for his own comfort, then for the safety and comfort of those around him." ~ ErieCanalGal "NTA. That’s very unhealthy for him." "Waiting till it’s leaking means everything stays on his skin." "He could end up with skin breakdown, rashes, wounds, etc.; then that’ll just cause more problems." "Plus, he’s ruining furniture." "I get he may not want to deal with changing; it’s embarrassing and kind of humiliating." "He may not want to buy extra diapers." "But he’s a grown adult and needs to care for himself properly." ~ yukidaviji "NTA. But also grandpa can almost certainly wear a urinary sheath and bag and avoid the incontinence altogether." "Sheath is worn like a condom." "A tube from the tip runs to a bag that’s usually strapped to the calf or thigh." "Bags last for a week at a time, so they’re cheaper as well as being easier to deal with - the bag has a spout you aim at a toilet/urinal to empty." "There are specialist bowel and bladder nurses; he needs a consult with one." ~ RafRafRafRaf "It’s the best thing to push back because it’s also not healthy for him to be sitting in his own waste for hours." "He might not have fully come to terms with what he experienced or is experiencing." "Might need therapy and also for others to be firm/not enabling." "If I encounter a human infant that’s been in a soiled diaper for hours, my immediate reaction is concern." ~ flmdicaljcket OP came back with some updates... "He only leaks pee; he can go number 2 by himself." "I am going to look into seeing if he can get his diapers covered by insurance because it never occurred to me that he might not want to waste them since he pays out of pocket." "Also, he doesn't have dementia; he has seen a neurologist recently." "We've decided to call the diapers, protection to better accommodate the new change." "He wears suspenders and says it is hard to take them off and his pants and his shoes, and then put the new 'protection' on, all in a small bathroom, so he was avoiding it to remain 'comfortable.'" "We are going to look into some of the medical devices you guys suggested." "Side note: he was only leaking pee." "He didn't even say, 'I'm going to wait until I'm leaking." "He said, 'By the time I get to the bathroom, I'll be leaking.'" 'He has an old man accent." "Thanks for your responses." "I think ESH is the correct answer." "I should've given him more grace and tried to understand both of their perspective but he should be changing more frequently as well." It's great to hear that you've found some ways to navigate this situation, OP. This is not an easy topic to discuss. It sounds like it has been taking a toll on everyone. Hopefully, you can find common ground. Good luck. --- ### Mom-To-Be Snaps At Pregnant Sister-In-Law For Telling Husband She's 'Faking' Morning Pregnancy Symptoms **Published:** October 13, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/faking-morning-pregnancy-reddit/.md Pregnancy can come with a lot of side effects and complications. Pregnancy isn't always smooth sailing. Now, some pregnancies are perfect. The people who experience perfect pregnancies don't always find sympathy for the others. This can cause a lot of distress. Redditor u/Lolli6364 found herself in a dilemma regarding her pregnancy and relationship with her sister-in-law, so she turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback. Like AITA, the AITAH subreddit lets posters ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. She asked: "AITAH for calling out my SIL for insinuating that I faked my pregnancy sickness behind my back?" The original poster (OP) explained: "When I hit the third trimester, I started feeling really unwell." "My belly became bigger and heavier, making it difficult for me to walk even 500 meters." "I already had issues with low blood pressure, and pregnancy made it worse, causing me to faint from time to time." "I was also working full-time in the office throughout my entire pregnancy, so I only had two days a week to prepare the baby’s room and buy/organize everything we needed — all by myself, since my husband was not an 'expert' in this kind of stuff." "So when my S-I-L (who was also pregnant at the time and lived in another city, five hours away by car) decided she wanted to come visit us with her husband and our niece, I wasn’t particularly happy about it." "I wanted to use whatever free time I had to prepare my home and myself for the baby, and having them stay with us would mean accommodating them and spending most of my free time with them." "I asked my husband to ask them to postpone the visit, but he didn’t because he didn’t want to have a discussion with his sister (although, apparently, he has no problem having discussions with me)." "My SIL also used the argument that since we were both pregnant and due around the same time, we might not see each other for quite a long time, which was true." "In the end, they came to visit anyway." "Since my M-I-L also decided to join them, they had to rent an apartment because our flat wasn’t big enough." "My SIL and I had never argued before." "I actually thought we were on good terms… until this happened." "On the day they were coming, I had to undergo a glucose tolerance test for gestational diabetes." "It was a routine test, but a pretty nasty one: you have to drink a glass of glucose on an empty stomach and then have your blood drawn." "I actually fainted at the doctor’s office." "When I got home, I also threw up and went to bed because I was feeling terrible." "This was in the morning." "At around 10 a.m., we received a call from my MIL saying, 'Open up, we’re downstairs!'” "I was shocked because they were supposed to arrive at 3 p.m., which was the scheduled check-in time for their rental apartment." "They had decided to start their journey early without telling us." "So I was completely unprepared, still feeling awful after the test, and the house was a mess." "I told my husband, 'Oh no, look at the mess. We can’t have people over right now, and I don’t feel well enough to receive anyone.”' "He politely asked them if they could wait at a nice café near our place and called the owner of the rental apartment to see if they could arrange an early check-in." "That same evening, they came to our place for dinner, which I gladly prepared because by then I was feeling better." "The moment my SIL arrived, I noticed a very judgmental look from her, although I didn’t think much of it at the time." "Throughout the dinner, she was quite passive-aggressive." "I also received comments from my MIL that seemed to minimize what I was experiencing, such as, 'Oh, come on, it’s nothing to worry about. Low blood pressure isn’t so bad. It would be much worse if you had high blood pressure as I did.'” "The next day, they all went strolling around town." "Again, I didn’t feel like walking around because of my low blood pressure and pregnancy symptoms, so I declined the invitation." "That evening, when my husband came home, he started insinuating that my sickness couldn't be that bad, that I was exaggerating, and that I could have gone into town with them." "He also said that his sister was pregnant too and could still do everything as usual." "I felt terrible after hearing this because not only was he being completely insensitive toward my situation, but he was essentially telling me that I was lying." "On the day of their departure, I was feeling sick again and couldn't even get up and walk down the stairs to say goodbye." "I told my husband that, if they wanted to, they could come upstairs and say goodbye to me." "When they came in, once again I received that judgmental look from my SIL." "This time, however, I confronted her." "I told her..." "'Listen, I think what you told my husband about my sickness was extremely disrespectful toward me and my condition. I don't tolerate that kind of behavior, especially when it undermines my relationship with my husband. You put this idea in his head, and I think it was incredibly disrespectful of you, especially given that you are also pregnant and should understand what it feels like. So please do not ever repeat this again, because I will not tolerate this kind of behavior.'” "I said this in front of everyone." "She was shocked and immediately tried to play the victim." "She said that, to her, I didn’t actually look ill or sick, so I should have let them into our home when they arrived instead of making them wait at the café." "She also said that she was pregnant too and that, even when she felt sick, she didn’t 'make a drama' out of it." "According to her, I was making too big a deal out of my situation and should at least have made more of an effort to spend time with them since they had traveled all that way to visit us." "After the argument, I felt even worse." "I felt like I was about to faint, became extremely pale, and ultimately she squeezed out an 'I’m sorry,' which did not sound particularly sincere." "I also told my husband, in front of everyone, that if he ever questioned my honesty or sincerity again because he listened to insinuations from his sister, he was free to go and live with her." "I told him that I did not want our child to be raised in this kind of toxic dynamic." "To this day, my SIL and I are still not on good terms." "We have only seen each other twice since then, and both times involved other dramas, which I will tell you about another time." "She still plays the victim and talks badly about me behind my back, especially to my MIL." "I feel like this has also affected my MIL’s behavior toward us." "At this point, even my husband doesn’t want to go back to his hometown to visit them." "From time to time, I feel bad that his relationship with his sister and mother has deteriorated." "But, to be fair, even before all of this, they didn’t have an especially close or happy relationship." The OP was left to wonder: "So, AITAH in this situation?" Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here. "NTA, but your husband is spineless." ~ Bitter-Picture5394 "If your partner won’t stand up for you, I’d question the relationship." ~ trvllvr "Not only will he not stand up for her, but he also won't help his sick wife at all with baby setup because he's 'not an expert.'" "They're becoming parents at the same time, they're coming into this with equal levels of experience, and he's content to let her struggle through this while he does the equivalent of sticking his name on a group project he didn't contribute to." "The fact that OP thinks SIL 'putting an idea in his head' is a legitimate excuse for treating your spouse the way he's treating her shows just how accustomed she is to this man's shi*tiness." ~ seajustice "He’s also an idiot not to comprehend that different pregnancies, even for the same person, can be completely different." "My first was so easy; by the end of my second I couldn’t wait for it to be over." "In my first, I didn’t have any negative symptoms of pregnancy." "In my second, I had heartburn the entire time, coughing fits so bad my stomach muscles hurt, and I was huge and uncomfortable." "The baby pushed on the nerves along my ribs so that I was constantly feeling sharp pains there." "To this day, the nerve has some residual damage, and I can periodically feel the same pain." ~ trvllvr "NTA, kinda, but save some of that heat for your husband!" "You know, the same husband who, after watching you suffer for months, questioned your sickness after spending a few hours with his sister and Mom?" "The same husband who couldn't be bothered to clean up himself for his own family visiting?" "The same husband who didn't take your needs into account and actually ignored them entirely by letting them come in the first place?" "The one who is doing absolutely nothing while you do everything to prepare for the baby because he's maliciously incompetent?" "You are so mad at your in-laws for 'putting ideas' in a grown-a*s man's head?" "You have a husband problem, not an in-law problem." ~ Common_Tiger1526 "NTA, but your husband is the biggest problem." "He didn’t help you during your pregnancy, not even when you were sick." "He scolded you while you were sick." "I think the person you were most upset with was him." ~ BookishIntrovert99 "I have 3 kids, and each pregnancy was wholly different." "With my first, I just got on with it and was relatively okay after first trimester sickness." "My last one (born this year), I was incredibly ill, having numerous hospital stays, constant complications, had bad sciatica, and during the last 3 months had to be on strict bed rest." "My point is that each pregnancy is different, and just because your SIL was fine does not mean that your experience is exactly the same as hers; she and your MIL should, as women have realized that." "Your husband is also a jerk." "NTA, but the rest of your family are." ~ Hippopotamus_can_fly "That whole family sucks, including your husband." "He isn't an 'expert, so you have to do it???" "Also, not an expert since it's both your first child???" "I hope he changed that after you read him the riot act." "NTA for saying what needed to be said." ~ CuriousPenguinSocks "NTA, but your husband is." "Ditch him and parent alone." "He’s proven not to have your back and is more concerned about his sibling and mom's feelings than yours." ~ Upbeat_Vanilla_7285 "NTA. But I do fear your husband has misplaced his backbone." "I hope since then he's found it again." ~ Grindersgirl "NTA. I hate when women judge other women's health, whether it's periods or pregnancies." "Just because someone breezes through it doesn't mean others do." "OP, I'm really proud of how you shut everyone down, and I hope your husband realized how much he'd messed up." "Low blood pressure is awful and should not be dismissed lightly." ~ OkCaterpillar8941 Reddit is with you, OP. How dare your SIL behave this way? You deserved better from your husband. Don't let them stress you out, Stay calm and carry on. --- ### Woman Berated For Supporting Sister In Arranged Marriage Who Fell In Love With Someone Else **Published:** October 13, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/support-married-sister-reddit/.md All a child wants as they grow up is to please their parents and make them proud. That said, the world parents grew up in is vastly different from the world their children grow up in, because society and culture change with each passing year. This often results in children unexpectedly veering away from the life their parents wanted for them. The sister of Redditor Adept_Ad_8052 had always made their parents proud, living the life they always dreamed she would live. Until recently, when the original poster (OP)'s sister found herself in a situation that affected her marriage. While she found herself at odds with much of her family, the OP stood firmly by her sister's side. Wondering if she was in the wrong for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors: "AITA for supporting my married sister when she fell in love with someone else?" The OP explained why she supported her sister when the rest of their family turned their backs on her: "I'm 31 F, and my sister is 41 F." 'For context, we are Indian, where arranged marriages are a common occurrence." "My sister is a doctor, and when she was 25, my parents and family started looking for matches for her (with her consent)." 'This is how she was introduced to my BIL (now 44 M)." "They were 30 and 33 at the time, respectively." "They met a couple of times, went on a few 'dates', and agreed to get married." "My sister was under immense pressure to get married then, and this was the first guy she felt understood her and respected her, so she agreed." "5 years of arranged marriage proposals had taken a toll on her, and I know she was under pressure, but again, I was very young and didn't fully understand a lot of what she went through (for me, I was plain excited about dressing up and having a wedding in the family)." "For all intents and purposes, they had a good marriage." "They weren't madly in love or even pretended to be, but they were friends with a healthy respect for each other." ""They have two kids, 8 M and 6 F." "Last week my sister called me crying." "It turns out, over the last few months, she had a co-worker at her hospital whom she developed feelings for." "She tried to brush it away, avoid him, and stop talking to him, but it didn't help." "He was also attracted to her and apparently confessed it to her." "She was clear that NO boundaries were crossed and she didn't plan to either - but the whole thing showed her she doesn't want to stay in her marriage anymore." "She already spoke to her husband and then told the whole family and obviously sh*t hit the fan." "Her in-laws are furious and are demanding she 'correct herself and think about the kids and the future'." "Her husband is divided- on the one hand, he is understandably hurt, and on the other he feels that if she isn't planning to pursue a relationship with him (which we asked her many times and she is clear she isn't), then he feels it 'doesn't make sense to uproot everyone's lives for this'." "My parents want to support her, but I can sense they are also divided." "I wholeheartedly supported her, and then the lines were drawn." "To me, all that matters is that she says she doesn't want to continue the marriage." "She didn't cheat, she didn't plan to, and she was open and honest from the beginning." "Humans change, and sometimes that means a marriage that used to work doesn't anymore (this is my opinion for which I was called the a**hole)." "My sister is visibly depressed and isolated by everyone at the moment." "She's not looking good, not eating or sleeping well, so I invited her over to take care of her." "Everyone from her in-laws to her husband is now angry at me - saying I'm 'encouraging her in the wrong direction' and 'brainwashing her'." "That 'my fiancé should think twice' now before marrying me." "My parents are torn, but I sense they don't fully understand." "My sister is the typical 'perfect girl' all my life she has been the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect wife and the perfect mother." "She has never acted out impulsively ever and was actually the one to always give me a shoulder to cry on when I do act impulsively." "So I take it very very seriously when she does take a decision like this, because I know she didn't do it unless she absolutely cracked." "She's someone who always wants to 'keep the peace' and even when crying her main pain point was how she was 'letting everyone down'." "Barring the first 2 days when she came over, was ill, and settling in, the kids are with us at my home." "Up until my niece and nephew where in preschool, my sister was the one who was the primary caretaker as it is a norm in his family 'that young children need the mother more' my sister was absolutely hands on and her career took a backseat." "When the younger one went to first grade this year, was when she resumed more of her old work routines." "My BIL is NOT a bad parent by any means, but his job has longer hours and, in typical fashion, he likes to come home and 'relax'." "So he isn't the parent who is handling their daily schoolwork, homework, and lunches and dinners." "He's the dad who plays with them on the weekends and does the fun stuff." "That routine continues as of the immediate plans now." "They are not neglected, neither parent is shirking duty, and both kids know they are loved." "So am I the AITA?" Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for supporting her sister. Everyone agreed that the OP was the only person who was taking her sister's happiness and well-being into account, which was exactly what she needed during this difficult time: "NTA." "Get your sister out of that house asap and get her a divorce lawyer."- iknowsomethings2 "NTA." "F*ck these kinds of oppressive structures." "She’s an adult and should be allowed to make her own decisions."- howmanyhowcanamanyho "NTA." "Your sister is trapped in an inflexible societal system and has never cared about her happiness." "Why isn’t your sister, as a human being, entitled to happiness?"- LavenderPearlTea "NTA." "Literally the only thing that matters in a marriage is that both parties consent." "Your sister doesn’t want to consent to being married anymore." 'It’s as simple as that - any of your family not supporting her in that are huge AHs." "Glad you’re helping your sister." "Stay strong."- Ok_Letterhead_1008 "NTA.' "If she hasn't yet, she has to have a conversation with her kids about the situation and explain everything (age appropriately of course)." "Otherwise it's very likely that they'll only hear her in-laws' version of what happened and your sister won't look good in it."- one_odd_pancake "I've had a friend who was pressured to get married since she got her bachelor's at 20-21ish because 'this is the right time per the astrologer, your sister has to get married too, and this is the right age'." "Coming from a mother who herself is in an abusive marriage." "She was enrolled in a master's program with me under the condition that she get married the moment she graduated - and she did. I can't comment on the decision, because she agreed to it." "But don't think a person (both a man and a woman) who has been conditioned their whole life to having these milestones set in stone can actually consent to having to make a decision that will impact their whole life, but is forced upon by parents/society as a whole." "She was brainwashed when she was forced to marry a person she didn't see herself spending her life with, into a family that treats her like an achievement rather than a person." "NTA." "I hope more people extend the empathy you have for others."- GuraSaannnnnn "Indian man’s perspective:" "You’re NTA. You’re doing what’s good for your sister." "That’s what family is for. And sibling relationship is the longest one you’ll have in your life, long after your parents are gone, and you and your sister are left to deal with problems later in life." "So be proud of yourself." "And ignore the people who will not be there to deal with the fallout." "As for the husband, realize that he too is a person who was put in the exact same situation." "Except he was used to suppressing his need to find love." "He had assumed what he had with his wife was love and that is as good as it gets." "Your sister opened her eyes and can’t close them back." "But it’s not easy for him to understand right now." "He probably feels like he was just used and is being thrown away after putting in years of his life into this marriage." "Suggest marriage counseling." 'I’m sure this will be addressed and a good therapist should be able to help him realize that he too deserves to be with someone who loves him." "He may not realize that right now, but it’s better for him as well." "Life is too short to be in an empty, loveless marriage, even if they are able to show an appearance to make it work." "You need to be more than roommates with kids."- iamprasad88 It would be something if the OP's sister were intentionally trying to hurt her family. However, that is not what is happening at all. The OP's sister is finding her world shattered in ways she never expected, and what she needs most is to know her family loves her. Only the OP gives any indication of that. --- ### New Mom Refuses To Let Husband's Chain-Smoking Grandma Near Baby Without Showering First **Published:** October 13, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/chain-smoking-grandma-reddit/.md New parents are in a learn-as-they-go situation. They have to keep this new, little stranger alive. That can take a lot of work. And certain rules and boundaries may need to be put in place to keep said stranger healthy. These boundaries don't always fly with family. Redditor TisTheSeasonOfSummer found herself in a dilemma regarding the birth of her preemie baby, so she turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback. Like AITA, the AITAH subreddit lets posters ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. She asked: "AITAH for not allowing my husband’s grandma to meet her first great grand baby because she refuses to shower?" The original poster (OP) explained: "This has been drawn out longer than anyone expected, so now I think I just need some reassurance that we’re still making the right call." "Sorry for the length." "I (F25) had my first baby boy in December of 2025." "He was four weeks early, and stayed in the NICU for 9 days due to feeding and breathing issues." "All of this was anticipated, so while scary, we had time to prepare." "My husband’s grandma is a chain smoker." "She smokes in her house, in her car, and can’t go without it." "Naturally, her oxygen levels are low, and she’s now wheelchair bound and dependent on help to get around." "Context for later." "We had our parents handle the coordinating of people to come meet the baby after a couple of weeks of being home and adjusting." "We are really close with our large extended family but didn’t want the chaos of scheduling people." "One of my husband’s aunts mentioned to F-I-L that she was insulted that we didn’t invite her ourselves, and how that’s customary and they won’t come until we invite them." "I said fu*k that." "We’re not playing that game." "If they don’t want to take what they get, then I don’t care, and neither did my husband." "My husband’s other aunt is a smoker, but she hides it well for work already and said she was SOOO excited to meet him." "We told her we’d like her to shower before coming over and to just wear some new clothes." "She said she’d do anything we asked, and that our requests are completely understandable, not even considering he was a preemie." "Then we get to my husband’s grandma." "When my in-laws told her about needing to shower and change before coming to meet him, all hell broke loose." “'Well, I can’t go that long without smoking,' or 'it’s a long drive' (15 minutes), 'I don’t have the energy.'" "Meanwhile she goes on hours-long shopping trips." "She doesn’t say anything to us directly; she just doesn’t reach out to meet him." "And then all of a sudden neither of the aunts want to meet him." "They say to let them know when he can go to restaurants because they don’t want to be blamed for getting him sick." "No one reaches out, no support, or check-ins." "Clearly his grandma went to both of them." "They all decided that we’ll eventually come to our senses, and they’ll wait it out.' "Game on." "It’s my FIL’s side, and he knows how ridiculous it is, but understandably wants his mom to meet his first grandbaby." "Since she started smoking again, her health is going downhill." "He’s done a good job of not really pushing, and both M-I-L and FIL have fought hard to back us up." "But he also asks the same questions every time we see him, asking how we’re feeling about it." "We recently had to sit down with him and tell him the answer doesn’t change just because he asks it again." "Fast forward to the present." "Our baby is almost 9 months old, and they still haven’t met him." "All of us stopped receiving invites to holidays, sports games, and family trips." "His grandma is talking up the whole extended family about how my husband is breaking up his family and how it’s all for nothing and how she can’t believe he’d keep a little baby from them." "Keep in mind, my husband and I have not corresponded with them directly since December. " "All correspondence is through my in-laws only." "We are enjoying our new family and letting the drama unfold at a distance, but we get updates." "My in-laws have laid into every one of them about their stupidity." "His grandma is losing her friends because they are saying she’s being stubborn and they can’t support her selfishness." "Honestly, my husband and I both are a bit disappointed that they’ve missed out on this; it’s been such an amazing experience, but we both agree it’s their loss." "We’re not too torn up, and have been able to find some humor in the ridiculousness." "However, we can tell it’s taking a toll on FIL." "He’d never intentionally pressure, but we also never expected this to drag on this long." "The reality is, we could meet them in a public place now." "He is still little, but not a preemie anymore." "We met my husband’s other grandpa at a restaurant, and he’s a smoker." "But this grandpa never asked to hold him or be near him." "Just saw him from across the table." "But at this point, are we holding out just to make a point?" "I mean, yeah kinda." "The side that has held out to this point is spiteful." "It seemed so selfish to me to make it about them at such a transitional time in our lives with a newborn." "So now, I sure as sh*t don’t want to meet them in a public place; that feels like backing down." "This side of the family always bulldozed my FIL growing up." "And he gives in." "My husband used to be the same, can still be at times, but worked hard on his spine." "He also had asthma growing up that is believed to be due to him being babysat as a kid by his grandma, who smoked in the house growing up, so he has a vested interest in this topic in addition to it being his kid." "In the beginning it was specifically about safety." "Now our intentions are mixed." "Safety, spite, trying to prove a point." "We want to make it clear we won’t back down just because they decided to play the waiting game and didn’t respect our requests for our child." "We also would like to see some interest or effort on her part. " "Even another suggestion." "As opposed to entitlement and sitting back and waiting for us to give in." The OP was left to wonder: "So. Aita for not allowing my husbands grandma to meet her first great grand baby because she refuses to shower?" Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here. "NTA. She must be a real ballbreaker for no one to break ranks before the baby isn't a baby anymore!" ~ Outrageous-Arm1945 "NTA. I used to be a smoker; my best f*cking friend had her first baby and told me if I wanted to meet her, I needed to be smoke-free, as in showered and hair washed, fresh clothes and teeth brushed/hands washed… I said absolutely; cigarettes are not worth me not meeting my 'niece.'" "4 years smoke free now." ~ Mission_Reporter4301 "NTA. My mother-in-law smokes, and early on in my pregnancy I told my husband that I didn’t want her smoking around the baby and to have fresh clothes if she did smoke." "He had a hard time bringing it up to his mom since he didn’t want to be disrespectful, but once he did, she pulled up her sleeve and showed us her patch and said she’s working on quitting." "If this great-grandma was actually interested in being part of your baby’s life, she could do the bare minimum and take a shower." ~ honeyroastedk "My older sister played manipulation/dominance games on me all my life." "The feeling you call spite probably isn't." "For me, it was the instinct to hold my ground and be my own person." "If you cave, they've won, and none of your boundaries will ever be respected." "I think they're trying to make you bow and assert dominance and obedience. " "Frankly, they're mostly punishing themselves (and unfortunately your FIL); let them." "This may well set the tone for all future interactions. NTA!" ~ International_Salt33 "Truth to be told, chances are that grandma is beyond 75, and it's a known fact she has issues with her oxygen levels." "As such, showering is a big ask for her." "Not unreasonable, but a big thing for her." "For one, chances are that she cannot shower on her own, so she needs assistance." "Then she's too addicted to her cigarettes to not smoke for even a little while." "Don't get me wrong, I'm fully on team OP - but things aren't as easy for grandma as people seem to assume." ~ melympia "NTA... my son requested my mom shower and put on clean clothes to meet his newborn the first time, and she doesn’t smoke and showers daily." "It’s acceptable to protect your child." "My son was terribly allergic to smoke residue as a baby and toddler; it caused a speech delay because of ear infections." "I resumed smoking when he was 7." "My daughter wouldn’t let anyone who had smoked around her daughter." "I quit before she was born but had started again, and I quit again shortly before my son’s daughter was born." "My next grandchild is due in October, and I’m hoping to not be vaping by then." "Ask great-grandma to get a vape or nicotine gum so she can go a couple hours to meet her great-grandson." "If she isn’t willing to try, then she doesn’t deserve to know him, but it’s harder to not smoke when you know you can’t." "Protect your child; that’s your job." ~ Stay_Sea_Motivated "NTA, if you want to meet the baby." "It’s not unreasonable to have a shower, put on fresh, unsmokey clothes, and come to meet the baby without smoking in between." "An adult should be able to manage a couple of hours." "Chew some gum." ~ Clean_Permit_3791 "NTA. They are more interested in drama than seeing your son." ~ Sylkre Reddit has your back, OP. Your husband's family is being combative. How is a cigarette more important than the health of a baby? It's sad, but you do what you have to do. Good Luck. --- ### Guy Sparks Family Drama By Refusing To Split $10k Lottery Winnings With Sister Who Purchased Tickets For Him **Published:** October 9, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/split-lottery-winnings-reddit/.md Money changes everything! This is especially true when it's free money, and a lot of it. Money windfalls can tear apart families. Redditor u/Sex_Shop_Souvenir wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. They asked: "AITA for not giving my sister money after I won a sizable amount on a scratch off ticket?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "I (27 M) recently won $10,000 on a scratch-off. "My sister (31 F) immediately started joking that I owed her half because she was the one who stopped at the gas station and bought the tickets." "The thing is, I paid for them." "She was already going inside, so I gave her $20 and asked her to grab me a few." "When I actually won, the jokes turned into her seriously asking for money." "She thinks because she physically picked the winning ticket, she deserves part of it." "I offered to take her out for a nice dinner and give her 100 bucks, but I’m not giving her thousands of dollars." "Now she’s pissed, and our mom says I should give her at least $1,000 because I 'wouldn’t have won without her.'” The OP was left to wonder: "So AITA?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole. "NTA. You paid for the ticket, so the winnings are yours." "Handing someone a card at a register isn't an investment strategy, and dinner plus $100 is already more than generous for running a minor errand." ~ Spectre_Omega "Totally agree." "Picking up a ticket on a quick gas station run isn't a joint venture." "OP took all the financial risk, so he gets the reward. $100 and a nice dinner were already more than fair." ~ meltiozek "NTA. If you think it's worth the peace of mind, I mean, you do you." "Just ask yourself if she would've done the same thing for you if the roles were reversed." "If so, you do you." "If not, I wouldn't, but if you really just want her to shut up and it's worth it to you, give her the $1000, but never deal with anything else with her financially." "Cause it'll be the same thing all over again." "For me... NAH, bro." "Cause then by the same logic, ya might as well give the gas station attendant $1000 as well; he pulled the ticket and scanned it, so you wouldn't own it without him." "Also, ya owe your mom $1000 and $1000 to your dad, or else neither of you would've been alive at the gas station to purchase the ticket." "Ah sh*t, forgot the $1000 for the car salesman you got the car from, or else you wouldn't have been getting gas at the gas station." "Oh, don't forget the owner of the gas station for taking the time to file forms to sell the tickets; he'd deserve his cut, so that's another $1000." "If any of that sounded ridiculous, it's the same logic for you giving your sister anything." "You handed her money to buy something for you." "She could've said no, bought herself that ticket, and won it all herself." "You could've just as easily gotten it yourself, so it's not like she did anything aside from what she was already doing, aka walk into the gas station." "So the offer of $100 for free and a good dinner is pretty dope to begin with." "Hell, you could skip the dinner and give her $200, and that'd still be more than generous." "I pay DoorDash people like 25% for a sushi order, and that's like $7, and that's generous for what they did, which takes more effort than she put in, and not a single driver has asked to split the meal with me." ~ DougieBuddha "A family member gave coworkers scratchers for their birthday." "One person won like a few grand." "She asked us if she was wrong for thinking that buying lunch or a coffee was the appropriate thing to do, because she bought the ticket and the person got a major win." "A coffee or lunch was agreed to be the polite response." "Nothing more." Your sister would, at most, be right to expect a coffee or lunch. Nothing more than that." ~ DefinitelyNotAliens "OP will be taxed since it's under their name, and whatever money (if distributed) to others obviously would not be taxed." "I would do like $100 max, but even then they still had no part in winning, so honestly, eh." "Like, had this person stopped you, and it was their idea and said, 'Hey, I really think you should play right now, and you won because of their suggestion, sure, I think a few hundred would be reasonable.'" "But OP, you thought to buy them yourself and would’ve got the same tickets no matter who walked in to purchase." ~ Pineapplefish3 "NTA, it will never be enough." "The other day I read a story on Reddit about a lottery-winning couple's children not wanting to see their parents again after 'only' receiving 30 MILLION each from their winnings." "Other people winning stuff brings out a strange kind of greed in some people." ~ AccordionCrimes "NTA. If she didn’t use her own money, then she has no claim to it (I don't know about technical legal stuff, but on a moral front, this is my opinion on the matter)." "It sounds like you were together and you just had her grab them for you while you stayed outside?" "Seems silly to say you wouldn’t have won the money without her when you simply would have walked inside yourself if she wasn’t with you." ~ im-gwen-stacy "NTA, but learn a lesson from this: don't tell people you won." "Or if you do, do it later and pretend you bought another ticket." "But don't." "For some reason, a lot of people seem to think that money that you won is for sharing, while money that is given to you or that you worked for isn't." ~ Jocelyn-1973 "NTA. If you were my brother, I might have laughed and said something along the lines of, 'You jammy sod, it was me who picked them up!" But I would never have expected or demanded any of your winnings; I'd have been delighted at being taken out for a meal, never mind getting 100 bucks. Your sister is greedy and entitled, and your mother is enabling her. Congratulations, and given their attitude, keep your winnings to yourself.'" ~ Public_Reaction2129 "NTA. Welcome to the world of lottery winners." "The psychology at work here stems from the fact that nobody, including the winner, feels that they 'earned' or 'deserve' the money." "So people have even fewer qualms than normal about asking for some of it, and the winner often feels weird about declining those requests(slash demands)." "In reality, your money is your money however you (legally) obtained it, and the ethics on giving it away are the same as any other situation." ~ CoverCharacter8179 "NTA. However... she will resent you for this." "I've seen it happen; my two uncles haven't spoken to each other in 20 years because of a scratch ticket, and I think that one was a $1000 win." 'It's so dumb." "I learned early, if I do a scratch ticket, I don't tell anyone anything about it unless I plan to share it with them." "Not sure why, but gambling wins make other people lose their minds." "Like, they feel they should have won it, so of course you should split it with them." "It's kind of unhinged." "So... you're NTA for not splitting it, but not splitting it may cause a rift between you and your sister for the rest of your lives." "It sucks to be in that situation." ~ Matsu-mae "Tell your mom and sister." "You see their point." "Even though it was your money that purchased the ticket and you were the one who decided to buy the ticket, you should totally give half to the person who grabbed the ticket." "So you’d like your sister to go to the store with you and point out the person who was behind the register since they were kind enough to rip off the winning ticket, and without them you wouldn’t have won." "And then let them explain to you why he doesn’t deserve anything and keep saying, but he had to actually rip the ticket and open and close the register, so he did the most that day and let them explain why the cashier doesn’t deserve it, but your sister does until they admit that she doesn’t." "If nothing else it’ll be entertaining." ~ Electrical_Beach169 "NTA, but I totally agree with your mom." "I'd be happy to give my sibling $1000 and would think that it was our combined mojo that pulled the winner..." "It'll get taxed like fu*k, so maybe divide the tax amount by 10, take 1/10th of that out of the $1000 and give her the remainder." "It's worth it not to sow resentment at worst and/or have to hear about it forever at best." "It's just money, and as my grandma and mom say: 'I have it to give and more is coming."' "Relationship health with your sis is more important than $1000!" ~ Yarius515 "NTA. Did she offer to pay for half the tickets before she knew they were a winner?" "I doubt it." "Now that you’ve won, all of a sudden she wants to be your partner." ~ Intelcourier Reddit is with you, OP. This is your money. This may never be resolved, though. Good luck. --- ### Woman Unsure Whether To Honor Mom's Request Not To Tell Estranged Brother That Their Dad Died **Published:** October 9, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/honor-mom-request-reddit/.md Family ties can strangle. Not all family is going to be kind to one another. That truth can be hard to face. Redditor u/EdieLoveProfile wanted to share her experience and get feedback, so she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. She asked: "WIBTA if I don’t tell my brother our dad died?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "I, 47 F, have a brother, 49." "We have always been semi-close until a few years ago." "When we were younger, I got a job, moved out, and started my life." "He had a work-from-home job and, for the most part, lived off our parents." "He spent his money on his hobbies." "He met a woman who made him grow up, and he moved in with her and lived off her." "While living with her, our dad got very sick, died twice after a bad medical procedure (he was thankfully brought back), and eventually came home after being told there was nothing that could be done." "I moved in with my parents to help out." "The ONE time he came to visit, he said some really crappy things about our dad." "Although he had always been my mom’s golden child, my mom told him to leave." "In the next three years, he reached out to my dad four times (two birthdays, two Father’s Days)." "I spoke to my brother last month on my dad’s birthday and told him our dad broke his hip and was not doing well." "I explained that we were shocked when he was still with us every morning." "He tried to tell me how hard his life is, working and paying bills." "And that because of that, he is too busy to keep in touch." "Dad passed away this morning." "My mom doesn’t want him to be told because he didn’t care when Dad was sick and said vile things about him." The OP was left to wonder: "But WIBTA if I don’t tell him?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Many Redditors declared that OP WAS the A**hole. "I think he should be told. Not because he necessarily deserves the opportunity, but because it’s your dad’s death and he is still his son." "You don’t have to convince him to attend, forgive him, or comfort him afterward." "Just give him the information and let him decide what he does with it." "That way, you won’t have to wonder later whether you should have told him." ~ RepulsiveDisplay5827 "Don’t go against your mom’s wishes without her knowledge." "Talk to her first." "She’s grieving right now, but you can tell her that her son should at least know." "There’s no funeral for him to crash, so it’s just information." "But what did he say to make her throw him out?" "That’s important." "If he said he wished his dad was dead already, of course your mom would be upset." "And if he said anything about the will or his inheritance, that’s another reason she doesn’t want him told." "Even if she gets everything, it would have hurt her." "Redditors who say absolutely tell him don’t know the circumstances, so don’t tell him without telling her first; otherwise, she will have a problem with you." ~ Malibucat48 "First, my condolences on your loss." "Second, you’re NTA for feeling conflicted about telling your brother, but I think you should let him know and leave him to sit with it." "But I do have a few questions." "Did your brother and dad have a great or good relationship growing up?" "And you say you moved out and your brother stayed at home with your folks." "Were you constantly in contact with your brother during the time you were in your own?" "I ask because is there a possibility that you don’t really know the relationship that developed between your dad and brother after you left?" "Sometimes when people make such abrupt changes, or start acting with indifference, it’s because something happened." "But if you’re sure nothing happened or was said to your brother by your dad to make him act with such carelessness, then, like I said, quickly tell him and let him sit with and deal with his own regret." "Either way, send him a quick text and be done with it." "You can’t forget about your own grief either." "I wish you all peace." ~ Rose_Plum "YTA. He should know that his father is gone." "It doesn't matter what his relationship is like with you and your mother." "It also doesn't matter that he said some 'really crappy' things about your father." "People say terrible things sometimes." "Can you imagine being robbed of knowing your father passed away just because you weren't your best self in one moment?" "I do think you're being really judgmental about his reasons for not being up to show up for your father, by the way." ~ glutenisnotmyfriend "YTA; you should tell him, you are both adults and it is his dad also." "It is not clear why the bad relationship from your post." "You mention he was your mum’s golden child." "Was your dad a good dad?" "Did your parents promote a dynamic of competition between the siblings?" "We would need to know the whole picture to judge, as perhaps your brother was simply protecting his feelings." ~ Comfortable-Class576 "YWBTA, and your mom too." "Immediate family should always receive at least a text regardless." "If you guys don’t want to communicate with him, don’t call, but tell him something." "My dad and I are almost 0 contact, but I still expect to receive a text from someone when he goes. " "Just like I got one when he almost lost his leg a few years back." "He may be an a-hole, but he’s still my dad-and I’d like the opportunity to grieve him and our relationship like his other children and everyone else." ~ Particular_Fruit_585 "YWBTA." "It's still his dad." "He has the right to know he passed away." "And as bad as things are now, he will find out another way if not from you." "Obituaries are public record." "Plenty of other ways to find out someone has died, like social media, texts from local friends, etc." "And if he's listed as a beneficiary of your dad's life insurance or in the will, he WILL be told." "It's just going to make things a lot worse between you all for no real reason if you're not the one to tell him." "What he does with that information is up to him. " "If he wants to be the as*hole after that, it's all on him." ~ Sith_Lord_Onyx "I'm sorry for your loss." "You and Mom are in the throes of grief now." "Don't do bitter things that you might regret later." "I understand the temptation not to tell him, but that is stooping down to his level of morality." "You (and Mom) are much better people than that." "Give Bro a call, preferably timed for when he's not home so you can leave a message." "'Hi Bro. Your father passed two days ago. I thought you should know. Goodbye.'" "If he happens to answer, just say the above and add 'I can't talk right now.'" "And hang up." "Do not engage." "Don't pick up calls from him." "You have nothing more to say to him after all." "You asked for judgment, so I have to put something." "Of course your brother sucks, but he still deserves notification." "Soft YTA." ~ MistySky1999 OP returned to chat. "I would like to thank everyone who commented civilly." "No matter your opinion on this matter." "I have read most comments (and even those where my post was reposted), and I see where you are coming from." "I really don’t understand the people who attacked me, but that is to be expected when you post on here." "I am not going to try to defend myself, or my actions, as I know that I can’t change how others feel." "I truly hope you never are in my situation, and I am very sorry for those who have been in this situation." "I fear his response; I fear he won’t care at all." "And that would further crush me." "Some have commented that this is selfish; maybe it is." "But protecting myself at this point is important, as I am caring for my mom and everything else here." "I would like to say that I have been mulling over this issue for months." "I always talked to my dad about big things like this." "He had told me he didn’t care if/when I told those who didn’t care to visit, call, or check on him." "Some are going to say my brother DID check on him." "However, he spoke with my dad last month, and dad could barely talk." "I spoke with him afterwards and explained how bad things have gotten." "I have not heard from him since." "He never tried contacting my dad again." "I had told him that Dad had good days, too, and could talk for a couple of minutes. " "He responded, 'Ok.'" "Then told me how he is too busy to drop by, check in, or do anything." "I do love my brother, but it is very difficult to like him." "And to the people telling me it should have been me who died, I wish it was." "I would have happily given up the remainder of my life for my dad to continue his." "I wish all of you a wonderful rest of your year." "I hope you have the best holidays." So sorry for your loss, OP. This is a terrible situation. There seems to be no answer that will make everyone feel better. Try not to let the grief swallow you. --- ### Bride Balks When Future Sister-In-Law Demands Her Friends Be Invited To Small Wedding **Published:** October 9, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/wedding-guest-list-reddit/.md A wedding guest list is never as easy as anyone wants it to be. Be it owing to what the venue can accommodate, or how much the couple in question can afford, there will simply be a few people left off every wedding guest list. Hence why no one should ever ask the bride and groom if someone can be added to the guest list. Or worse, when they don't ask the bride about expanding their guest list, but rather tell them. Redditor Ill-Geologist6602 was soon to be married. While both the original poster (OP) and her fiancé wanted to keep their wedding small, the OP's future sister-in-law (FSIL) offered suggestions to add to their guest list. A gesture the OP could do nothing but laugh at. Worried her behavior was inappropriate, the OP took to the suBreddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors: "AITA for laughing at my FSIL request for our wedding?" The OP explained why she found herself laughing in her FSIL's face: "My fiancé/future husband (35 M) and I (38 F) just got engaged a few months ago and are deep into the wedding planning process." "We were over having dinner at his parents’ house this past weekend, and his sister (40 F) asked how the guest list was coming together." "We said fine, and future-husband (FH) mentioned that all of their aunts, uncles, and cousins were on the guest list." "His sister asked about Cody and Maria and their children. Cody and Maria?" "For context, Cody and Maria are friends of my FSIL and future brother-in-law ." "Their kids all go to school together and that’s how they met." "They’ve become close friends as a result." "They are also from the same Middle Eastern country as FH’s family." "FH and I have met them twice, and they’re nice people." "We just don’t have a relationship with them." "Our wedding is like 120 people (that we are paying for by ourselves), and we aren’t going to invite people we hardly know." "FH and I looked at each other and shrugged." "No, we hadn’t considered them on the guest list, sorry." "His sister was outraged." "Cody and Maria are family." "How could we possibly consider not inviting them?" "I let out a soft laugh and put my hand over my face, because this just seemed so absurd to me, which is where I might be TA." "My FSIL began to lecture me on the culture I am marrying into (which I’m American) and that in their Middle Eastern culture, close friends are family, and that our guest list should include room for at least 10-20 friends of the siblings." "She said that FH did the same thing for her wedding some 13 years ago." "FH said he invited two friends as opposed to ten, he invited people that his sister had known for decades, not people that we’ve met only two times, and the difference was that their parents and her in-laws were paying for her 300+ person wedding." "Meanwhile, their parents’ financial situation has changed so FH and I are covering the costs." "We explained that we don’t have the budget to host a wedding that large, and so we want the people closest to us for our special day, which does not include Cody and Maria." "FSIL shouted at us for disrespecting her and her husband by not inviting their closest friends, and that I’m not worthy of bearing the family surname." "My FMIL and FFIL tried to de-escalate the situation and offered to pay the difference in cost to allow for this family of 5 to be invited to the wedding." "FH and I are both foregoing inviting several friends to our wedding to make the numbers work." "This just feels like a slap in the face to bypass them for people we’ve literally met twice." "We left shortly thereafter, and my FMIL sent a message to us later asking us to apologize to FSIL for my laughing at her request, and to consider inviting Cody and Maria." "We didn’t respond." "Anyway, AITA for laughing and refusing my FSIL’s request to invite her family friends to our wedding?" Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring: "NTA." "These people are hiding behind their culture to justify acting like AHs."- Thin_Theory5388 "NTA." Sounds like a few more people shouldn't be invited."- queenofcaffeine76 "Correct me if I'm wrong, it's not even that you were laughing at the request, more so the timing of the request." "Like why would y'all have considered inviting these people before the moment they asked?" "'How could we possibly consider not inviting them?'" "Ma'am, I hadn't considered they existed till right this moment." "NTA."- pottersquash "This is your future husband’s battle with his family." "NTA, and he should take point."- Practical-Owl-9358 "As a person coming from a similar culture, I have to stress the point that your FH made: in these cultures, weddings are usually paid for by the parents." "Since this is not the case, you two are 100% responsible for the guest list." "Yeah, it was not nice to laugh, though I imagine it was more of a nervous laugh on your part and probably just fueled FSIL's already existing annoyance." 'So definitely NTA, though your future in-laws and husband should probably have separate conversations with the FSIL to de-escalate." 'If I were you, I would let them handle it as a family." 'Also, next time she says you are not worthy of the family name, may I suggest you just tell her you are keeping yours?' "Hold tight, Sis."- No-Buffalo286 "NTA." "I bet she assumed they were invited and already told them about it, so she’s putting pressure on you rather than embarrass herself by admitting she talked out of turn."- Rainierstranger "You can apologize for laughing at the request." "That could be considered pretty rude and disrespectful." "But absolutely NTA for not inviting your SIL's friends to your wedding." "Say something like this: It certainly wasn't my intention to make you feel like I wasn't taking you seriously." "However, honestly- it caught me so off guard that I genuinely thought you were joking because, to ME, it seemed so unexpected." "In my culture, the people that pay for the wedding get to make the guest list, and we just can't afford to invite even some of our own friends, let alone other people's guest lists." "I understood that my reaction wasn't appropriate, and I apologize for that." "We won't be having anyone additional at the wedding."- DCpurpleTart33 "NTA." "Apologize for laughing, say it was a nervous response." "Then explain that as you have not extended invites to several of your own close friends, you can also not invite close friends of other family members as the numbers do not work." "Do not invite Cody & Maria." "If you do, you will be catering to FSIL requests for decades to come." "Your wedding, your money, your rules."- Accomplished_Pea2556 "You are of course NTA, but depending on how much you want to keep the peace, might consider apologizing strictly for the laugh. Something like 'I'm so sorry, it had nothing to do with disrespecting your friends; you just caught me so off guard! We've already had to disinvite dear friends to make our budget work; it was a shock to realize there were more people we'll have to exclude. We're really very sorry, but the guest list is final."- Shoereader "NTA." "Your wedding, your rules."- Lonely-Clerk-2478 "NTA, your fiancé seems like he has your back." "Loveeee."- Careless_Welder_4048 "NTA." "And saying you weren’t worthy of the family name is super hurtful and mean." 'SIL owes you a direct apology."- Downtown_Ganache6727 "NTA." "I'm glad your FH stood up for you on this." "FSIL sounds like a loon."- ivylass "Do not let them use culture to manipulate you and your FH." "NTA." "Make your FH deal with this so you don’t get made into the bad guy."- festivebum "NTA." "You hardly know these people; inviting them is absurd." "Also, your future sister-in-law sounds unhinged." "FSIL shouted at us for disrespecting her and her husband by not inviting their closest friends, and that I’m not worthy of bearing the family surname."- DragonScrivner "NTA." "FSIL is entitled, though." "Guess you know who you won't have a strong relationship with in the future."- Lunar-Eclipse0204 "NTA." "I would tell FSIL, 'Sorry I laughed, but we had to cut friends of ours that we are close to and consider family; unfortunately, we can't accommodate inviting your friends (who may be family to you) who are strangers to us. Our budget will not accommodate those that we love being there, and we are not adding those that we don't even know'."- Soft_Location_9088 People tend to laugh at absurd things. And the idea that anyone thinks they can dictate things bout other people's weddings is pretty absurd. Even if the OP does end up apologizing to her FSIL for laughing, Cody and Maria better not be holding out for an invite... --- ### Cancer Patient Berated For Missing Brother's Wedding Reception Due To Fatigue Despite Attending Ceremony **Published:** October 9, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/miss-brothers-wedding-reddit/.md One reason people have weddings, rather than simply getting married at city hall, is that they want to share the moment with their nearest and dearest. Generally, those folks also make every effort to attend the wedding, no matter the challenges. Unfortunately, sometimes making a wedding just isn't possible. Some brides and grooms struggle to grasp this reality. Redditor RekallQuaid's brother recently got married. Unfortunately, just before the wedding, the original poster (OP) found himself in a vulnerable position. As a result, the OP left his brother's wedding early. A departure the OP's brother simply could not understand. Wondering if they dropped the ball, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole Here" (AITAH). Unlike the similar 'Am I The A**Hole' (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Voting acronyms aren't required, and no final judgment is declared. The OP asked fellow Redditors: "AITAH? I missed my brother’s wedding party because I had cancer and he’s mad at me." The OP explained why he couldn't stay for his brother's wedding reception: "I don’t even know what to say here, maybe I am the a**hole I don’t know, what better way to find out than to ask some random strangers." "I first want to preface this by saying my wife, my daughter, and I DID ATTEND THE ACTUAL WEDDING CEREMONY." "WE WERE THERE FOR WHAT I CONSIDER THE IMPORTANT PART." "Anyway, last month I was diagnosed with testicular cancer." "It’s been a very emotional and rocky rollercoaster of a ride - first not knowing what stage my cancer was at and whether I was going to die or not, to then having treatment, having my testicle removed, and then the recovery from that." "This coincided with my brother's wedding, which I was really looking forward to." "I had to pull out of his stag do (bachelor party) in May because I had been hospitalized in March (I had been unwell for a few weeks - I also have Cystic Fibrosis) and came down with a really nasty lung infection which I took a while to recover from." "I then started feeling really fatigued, a lot less energy and I was constantly sleeping during the day and I couldn’t put my finger on why.I was pissed off, but I told my brother once I was better I would take him out for drinks myself." "I wasn’t feeling better as fast as I had in previous years, and then I found a lump on my left testicle." "I got it checked immediately, and obviously it turned out to be cancer. I was terrified." "My mental health was all over the place, and my life was turned upside down." "I didn’t know how advanced the cancer was, I just needed to wait until I’d had the surgery and CT scans." "Thankfully the CT scans were clear, and the cancer hadn’t spread, but my surgery was only two weeks ago." "I am still feeling extremely sore; I have low energy, and my self-esteem has been battered." "The wedding was the first time I’d been out around a large group of people since I was diagnosed, and the day was just too much for me mentally, and I was feeling very overwhelmed." "The suit I was wearing was pressing really hard against my scar, and when we got back to our house to get changed for the night party, my wound was so swollen and honestly I was exhausted." "So I messaged my brother and told him I couldn’t make the party, thinking he would understand because his big brother has got cancer." "I was in pain, I was tired, and I slept for literally the rest of the day until the next morning." "He ghosted me." "A week later I had a cancer appointment, and I received the news that my cancer was likely all clear, and that I would need one dose of chemo to make sure, but other than that the doctor was happy." "I was ecstatic; I was so relieved, and I couldn’t wait to tell my family, so I called my mother to give her the good news, and then I posted in our group chat to let everyone else know. I have another brother and a sister who are both married and they replied instantly to say how happy they were for me." "My brother ghosted me again, and his new wife just put a 'thumbs up' emoji." "An hour later she posted a photo of her wedding gifts and didn’t mention anything else." "Not that I expected her to, but I thought my sister-in-law or brother would at least say 'that’s great news!'” "Nothing." "I left it a few days, and it was really niggling at me, so I messaged my brother and asked him if I had upset him in any way, considering he hadn’t responded to my news or even acknowledged that my terrifying journey was almost over." "He then sent me this long message: 'I was upset as well. On my own wedding day of all days. was looking forward to coming and it seemed like there were no arrangements or anything to get her to come to the after party'." "She’s 5 years old." "'I understand that you were sore and uncomfortable; I get that. There were other people there uncomfortable or in a bad place. Someone was there who has literally just split with her husband after 25 years together. She came to both; it’s the last thing she would have wanted to see.I would have much rather had a phone call from you to just apologize. It’s too easy over a message. You were supposed to be doing a speech for me, and you would have heard what I would have said about all 3 of you as well. Feeling that sh*t on my wedding day because my brother isn’t there sucks. I always seem to be an afterthought a lot of the time, and after you didn't come to my stag do due to not being well, it just pissed me off, not going to lie. So (my sister's name) had to be put in a position she didn’t agree to be in and have a sibling of mine say things about me at my wedding." "This is a lie." "She had her own speech planned." "People get ill and are sore etc. I’m not saying you haven’t been. There hasn’t been a case of, well, I’ve missed your stag do, so let’s go for a drink or do something together when I’m better. Not 1 suggestion of that happening so far'." "As I said earlier, I actually DID say I would take him out for drinks." "'I’m glad you got the news you have. I really am, and it is brilliant news about your cancer, and hopefully you can put it behind you and concentrate on other things. I’m just pissed off you missed my wedding day'.” "I WAS THERE!" "He’s acting as if I wasn’t there at all." "I can honestly understand him being frustrated, but to brush my cancer off as something like 'other people get sore too' has pissed me off." "I don’t even know how to respond to him at this point." "When I was in hospital in March, not one of my family members asked if I was ok." "I get it, I’ve had Cystic Fibrosis my whole life, it’s nothing new, and they’re probably used to me being in hospital and just getting on with it." "Am I the a**hole here or what? " Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for not staying for his brother's wedding reception. Everyone agreed that the OP's rest and recovery were far more important than his brother's wedding reception, and his brother needed to understand this: "Let him be mad." "NTA."- lihzee "NTA." Comparing a surgical procedure and a life or death situation to a divorce is wild."- ruptured-appi "If my sister was sick and had cancer, I would totally understand if she bailed after my ceremony." "I would want her to take care of herself, because I love her and want her to be well." "Jfc, your brother sounds like a piece of work, and if I were you, I'd consider putting some distance between the two of you." "NTA your brother sounds like a right a**hole."- ZampyZero "I had a tumor removed from my testicle." "I have a pretty good idea what you were feeling." "Your brother is clueless and selfish." "NTA."- TomorrowHot8746 First, congratulations on the cancer being clear. I also want to say NTA. "I do, however, want to suggest a possibility since you mention that you grew up with Cystic Fibrosis - at the same time mentioning that it does NOT justify his attitude or how he treated you here." "I would look up 'glass child syndrome'." "If your parents, rightfully, had to constantly take you to doctors and specialists, and as a middle child (who often feel overlooked), this might explain some of this response." "Frankly, I think his response was a bit rude, aggressive, and he was lashing out at you unnecessarily." "But this might give you some insight as to why." "*Maybe*." "Again, congrats on beating the cancer!"- AphasiacButtercup The OP's brother certainly has every right to be disappointed that the OP wasn't at his reception. However, he should also be incredibly grateful that the OP is alive and healthy, One hopes the anger of the OP"s brother subsides, and he'll come to realize how lucky he is to be able to create many more memories with him, rather than simply feeling deprived of one. --- ### Woman Sparks Drama With Fiancé By Refusing To Drop Everything To See His Mother **Published:** October 9, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/fiance-chooses-mom-reddit/.md It can be a great sign when someone has a positive relationship with their parents. But it can be the biggest red flag if they have attachment issues and no boundaries. That's especially true when it becomes clear that they'll always choose their parents over their partner, cautioned the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITAH) subReddit. Redditor Dirty_Dancer6 thought they were looking forward to getting married, but their fiancé had developed a bad habit of dropping everything to go see his mother instead of her. When he became angry that she wasn't prioritizing his mother the way he was, the Original Poster (OP) thought they might have a problem. She asked the sub: "Am I the a**hole because I said no?" The OP realized something about her fiancé when he chose his mother's lunch over hers. "This Friday at midnight, my (31 Female) fiancé’s (33 Male) family said they wanted to have lunch, but then didn’t respond to any messages or calls about the details." "Fast forward to today, which is a Sunday. They still haven’t replied to anything. We have our lunch and everything; suddenly my fiancé gets a call from his mom, saying we should come to hers in one hour because they want to have lunch now." "Obviously I say no, because you’ve given an hour's notice; it takes me more than an hour to get to her house, and we’ve already eaten." "My fiancé, however, tells her yes. He stops eating the lunch I’ve prepared to save space for his mom’s lunch and gets ready to leave, telling me I should get ready as well." The OP's fiancé was furious when their priorities did not match. "I once again say no. Had she been more considerate, I would’ve gone, but I’m not going to stop eating the food I made because she had this lunch as an afterthought." "Now my fiancé is mad at me, stormed out of our home, and didn’t even say goodbye. He did, however, as a parting thought, tell me that since I am engaged to him, I’m part of his family and should go." "This isn’t the first time this has happened, and honestly it makes me feel like I’m the other woman, and whenever his actual fiancée/wife calls, he runs off to her." "Am I the a**hole here?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NTA: Not the A**hole YTA: You're the A**hole ESH: Everybody Sucks Here NAH: No A**holes Here Some were furious on the OP's behalf about how her partner put his mother before her. "Nope, NTA. Your fiancé is, though, and this is a huge red flag." - Loud-Employ289 "STOPPED EATING THE LUNCH YOU MADE??? Oh h**l no." "That's some crazy right there. Is she the effing queen? Was this a command performance?" "NTA, and this will only get worse, OP." "I can't believe he spoke to you like that over this craziness." "Don't allow anyone to treat you like that." - SophiaIsabella4 "NTA. If it’s this bad when you are a fiancé? It will ONLY get worse if you marry him. Please think carefully about how the rest of your life would pan out if you marry into this situation." - Ozzy_Mama1972 "This has happened before, and you’re still engaged??" "What is wrong with you?? You will always be the 'other woman.' RUN!!" - Aromatic_Recipe1749 "NTA. I live very close to my in-laws. It does mean spur-of-the-moment meetups, but they are always more of a 'we're doing this sometime on this day,' or 'we're doing this now/in x time if you want to join.'" "It does both ways, and adds a little chaos, but both sides try to give a heads-up, and understand if the other already has something going on." "That's respectful and reasonable even with being unplanned. What you describe is insanity." - Dustquake "NTA. PLEASE read your post again. This wasn't the first time and it most certainly won't be the last. You ARE the other woman in this relationship. He's a mama's boy, and he'll always put her wants/needs before yours." "What will it be next, you're being intimate, and his mother calls, wants him to come over, so he stops and tells you, 'Mama said we need to go to her house to (whatever), so get dressed'?" "Imagine if you have kids and the baby is only a few days old. 'Wake them up, Mama wants to see them.' He won't gaf if it's unsafe for the baby; what mama wants, mama gets." "Don't bother having a talk with him about it. End the relationship quietly. Move out when he's not home, leave a note along with the ring telling him why it's over. Block him/them on your phone. If you're friends on sm and he tries to play the victim, put his sorry @ss on blast! You deserve so much better than this. Good luck!" - Otherwise-Wall-6950 Others encouraged the OP to consider whether this was actually a family she wanted to marry into. "NTA, think about what he said very hard, and then decide if you really want to be engaged to that family." - Longjumping-Pen-5095 "Listen carefully to what he said and how he said it. The power trip his mother is playing on you will only get worse. Good luck." - ajulesd "You marry the family. I’m going through a divorce atm. I learned waaay too much about his family over the years, and I decided I don’t like them anymore. He didn’t like that and chose them. Choose wisely, OP." - Kellbows "Ew, NTA. I highly doubt his enmeshment with his mother is gonna change. I'd think long and hard about if you wanna fight his mother for his attention for the rest of your life if you marry him." - OwnedLittleOne "OP needs to decide if she wants to be in a threesome as the second wife because that is where this is going. NTA." - myglasswasbigger "Are you sure you want to marry a man who thinks his mother is still more important than the woman he is going to marry? Also, his mom is not a considerate person, and you were right to tell both of them no. NTA." - Lookonnature "THIS IS YOUR LIFE IF YOU MARRY HIM." "Do you really want to spend the next half of your life feeling like the mistress in his relationship with his mommy?? He's 100% a mama's boy. Those ties run deep... sometimes (often) deeper than marriage." "Please really think if this is how you want your life to look like. Then think about it with kids. Then think some more. I couldn't find happiness as a runner-up." - HeyPrettyLadyMaam "NTA. Do you REALLY want to go through life feeling like the other woman? Your fiancé has not cut the Apron strings to his mom, and it shows." "As for the 'your part of his family' remark, he's part of yours as well, not to mention you and him are your own family. He owes you a HUGE apology." - HorrorElliott1999 "The OP wrote, 'since I am engaged to him, I'm part of his family.' ...Oh lordy." "Edit. Let me be clear in case someone needs it." "Marrying a man is not you entering his household like a new appliance. You're supposed to create a new family together. If his position is that you should bend to his family's ways, he is essentially viewing you as a guest to his life. This is not a good foundation. You're in trouble." - No-Albatross-7984 After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update. "Hi all, I read through all of your comments, and even though some were a little harsh, I get it." "He comes from a bad childhood, and I know for that reason he always goes above and beyond for his mom. It was always a point of strain between us, but I tried to view it as he is a traumatized individual, and it takes time for us to work through these things." "Unfortunately, I’ve come to accept that some people just never work through their traumas, no matter how much you support and encourage them to seek help." "My plans of staying elsewhere fell through, and I had to stay at our place, but I took the bedroom, and he took the couch. Because of this, we did have a conversation; at least I tried to, but it turned into him raising his voice, refusing to admit that her lack of planning was, in fact, inconsiderate, and pushing all of the blame on me." "He called me a selfish person who had no family values or obligations. This hurt me deeply, as I have been wanting to move back to my home country for years, and he is well aware of it." "It felt like the second I said anything remotely close to what he deemed an insult to his mom, he suddenly snapped, and I became enemy number one." "In that moment, I realized that I could never be with or love a person who flipped on me so quickly over something as small as me not wanting to run off to last-minute plans." "I told him I do not want to be engaged and I wouldn’t marry him. I left my ring on the table this morning when I left." "I’m still figuring things out now, but at least I’ve figured this out." As important as family is, committing to a romantic relationship means starting a family of their own. Since the OP's ex-partner was so committed to plans with his family, he clearly wasn't ready to start a family with his wife, even after he got engaged again. --- ### Redditor Upset After Boyfriend Claims He Can't Afford Birthday Gift For Her But Buys Gag Gift For Coworker **Published:** October 9, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/coworker-gag-birthday-reddit/.md While it's not always obvious how serious a relationship is and where it's going, some people declare their feelings loud and clear. When they're obviously not prioritizing their partner, their partner would be better off listening to them the first time, pointed out the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITAH) subReddit. Redditor runeechan discovered that their boyfriend used their shared Amazon account to make a fairly large purchase for himself and one of his coworkers to cheer his work friend up. But when he made poor spending choices and didn't have enough money left over after that to buy them a birthday present, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt. They asked the sub: "Am I the a**hole for getting mad at my boyfriend for buying himself and a coworker a silly gift through our shared Amazon account, and then not having money to buy me anything for my birthday?" The OP was okay at first with not receiving gifts on their birthday. "My birthday was two weeks ago. We went out to a bar with friends." "I need you to understand when I say I NEVER expect a gift for my bday. From anyone. That includes him." "I overheard him tell my friends, 'I didn’t have money to get her anything.' And that’s fine. I know money is tight." "He’s going to school and working; he’s saving money for a new car, and he’s a groomsman this year, so he just bought a suit. FINE. That’s cool. As I said, I wasn’t expecting anything." But when the OP found out the truth behind the lack of presents, they were hurt. "Fast forward to now: I see our shared Amazon account has a purchase of two billiard ball bottle openers (kinda cool) totaling $50." "I was a bit miffed because why did he buy two? Was it an accident? For his brother? $50 is a lot for bottle openers." "So I asked him. And he said he bought it for himself and a coworker." "So… yeah, I told him I was p**sed. I’m p**sed that he spent money on bulls**t when he’s supposed to be saving." "I’m p**sed that he bought himself and a coworker a gift, and I got jack on my bday? I’m p**sed that he said he ‘doesn’t have money,’ but he had money for this??" "Am I the a-hole or should I lay off him? He just wanted a treat for himself. He doesn’t buy bullshit all the time; should I respect the sanctity of Amazon purchases?" "By the way, we just went to the bar with friends. An effort was not really put in, since it was MY idea to go there." "AITAH?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NTA: Not the A**hole YTA: You're the A**hole ESH: Everybody Sucks Here NAH: No A**holes Here Some were angry that the boyfriend so obviously had not prioritized the OP. "NTA. He clearly has priorities for his money, and you aren't one of them." "He could have spent a modest amount of money for a bday gift, or heck, he could have MADE you something if the situation were that real, when clearly it is not." - kimscool86 "NTA, and you should tell him that you’re upset and why. His reaction will tell you a lot. I’d be p**sed too, but I’d also explain why and try to do it when I can more calmly (but still very directly) express myself." - gold3nhour "NTA, that was really crappy of him. I would ask why I rate lower than a coworker. Then I would ask him where this relationship is going because if he's putting more effort into a coworker than he is putting into me, that tells me he doesn't want to be with me." "This wasn't some random day, it was your birthday. Stop accepting low effort. He needs to man up and start taking his relationship seriously." - Away-Understanding34 "NTA, but just stop accepting scraps because you are doing a disservice to yourself. Stop saying it’s ok to not get you a gift. He has a whole year to prepare for your birthday, for Christmas, for Valentine's Day, for your anniversary, and whatever you celebrate." "It doesn’t have to be an expensive gift, but he absolutely should get you something. If you keep just being ok with whatever he will give you, whatever. You will be the mom on Christmas watching everyone open their gifts that you made sure everyone had while you get nothing." - Alarming_Emotion_785 "When I was in my twenties, I had a boyfriend who was very stingy with gifts. He did pay the rent and all of the bills, but that was because he didn't want me to work so I could stay home and help him with his business (basically handle all admin duties) while I did all the housework and cooking and lunch and yada yada yada." "His friend worked for, and he was always buying him lunch or sodas or what have you, no big deal; it didn't really bother me. Until he started buying him presents. Nothing big. Ball caps, lighters, beer koozies, T-shirts, stuff like that." "It wasn't the cost; it was the idea that he would go into a store, think of Steve, and buy him a present while his girlfriend was at his house managing his business, washing his damn underwear, and getting nothing." "I wish I could say that when that started happening I got smart and packed my shit and left, but I stayed way too long, and the relationship ended horribly. Please learn from my mistake." - PatieS13 "NTA at all, and investigate this friendship closely. Even if they are just friends, don't accept this half-a**ed love. OP, you rank lower than a COWORKER." - odebus "NTA. He thinks you are in the bag and he doesn't have to try anymore. Meanwhile, he actually likes his coworker and wants to do something special to make them happy." "Are there any other signs of selfishness? Have you been doing all the chores and passing it off as being nice to him?" - Music_withRocks_In Others agreed and pointed out that the boyfriend could have done something if he really wanted to. "When we didn't have money, I would make my husband his favorite meal and a cake on his birthday. OP's boyfriend could have done something." - Clean-Fisherman-4601 "A homemade meal, a cake, and a movie you actually love sounds way more thoughtful than an expensive gift bought just for the sake of giving something." "The issue was never really the $50; it was that he claimed money was too tight for her while apparently finding room in the budget for other people." - sSweet082 "We give a card, but the 'gift' is making the day about the birthday person. What they want for breakfast and dinner, no household chores, their choice of what to watch, etc. We want the other to know we're thinking of them and love them, even if we can't show them in a bigger way right now." - Capable_Froyo4433 "I crocheted my husband a scarf and made his favorite dinner for his birthday one year when we had no extra money for gifts." "NTA. He could have spent that $25.00 on you instead of a work friend and cooked for you." - mynameisnotsparta "If someone really is broke, even just a chocolate bar would make me happy because it meant they cared enough to even think about me." - Kriiisss21 "NTA. That's a s**tty thing to do." "Also, I have a hard time believing money is so tight he couldn’t get you something fun and cute for under $20. Like, he could have saved that much by not drinking at the bar that single night (which I think I would have done if necessary. But it’s pretty easy to sell some crap you don’t need on marketplace as well." - inko75 "Someone who cares and loves you doesn’t need to be told to do something special for you on your birthday. If it’s not a default for your partner to think about doing something nice for you via gift, experience, card, or anything, you should really consider setting a higher standard." "It’s not abuse, but it’s important to note that it’s inconsiderate or reflective of someone who loves you. Don’t settle; your future self will thank you. It’s not your job to raise your partner." "Happy belated birthday, and sorry you had to go through this." - whiskers-and-tacos After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update. "We talked about it. He said he canceled the order after he thought about it." "He had bought the gift for his coworker because he was going through a hard time, and he thought the gift was cool since he likes billiards and drinking." "He said that I am NOT THE AH, and he admitted it was a dumb choice and he didn’t think it through." The subreddit sympathized with the OP for not feeling appreciated or prioritized on their birthday while their boyfriend focused on his coworker's needs. It's understandable to be there for a friend during their time of need, but generally, romantic relationships come before work relationships. --- ### Redditor Threatens To Cancel Thanksgiving If In-Laws Show Up With Uninvited Guests Like Always **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/thanksgiving-uninvited-guests-reddit/.md With the holidays approaching, people are deciding where to go for various events. A Thanksgiving host turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after uninvited guests decided to invite even more people. Curious-g-2018 asked: "AITA for wanting to tell my spouse’s family that my brother-in-law (BIL) cannot bring his new girlfriend, and that I'll cancel Thanksgiving if uninvited guests show up?" The original poster (OP) explained: "My spouse and I originally invited one out-of-state brother ('Joe'), his wife, and their daughter for Thanksgiving. Shortly after, my in-laws mentioned wanting to visit." "I noted that Joe was already staying with us and our guest rooms were full, hoping they'd pick another time. I was raised in a way that holidays are not equal to open houses." "Instead, they took this as an opportunity to organize a full family reunion at our home and invited the remaining brother ('Bob') without asking us. None of my own family will be there." "My in-laws have a history of treating our home and vacations like their own, even inviting extra people without telling us. However, my primary concern is Bob (40s)." "Bob dates chaotic, high-drama women with zero boundaries and moves way too fast. At a past family gathering, he showed up unannounced with 5 extra guests (relatives of his then-girlfriend) without checking if there was enough food or space. "His parents enable him out of sympathy. Middle child, failure to launch situation." "Bob recently started dating a new girlfriend who has kids. Neither my spouse nor I have ever met her or her children." "My spouse fully agrees that they do not want strangers or high-drama people in our house, around our children, but they lack the backbone to set firm boundaries with their own family." "Because my spouse won't step up, I want to tell their family directly that while Bob is welcome, he cannot bring any guests I haven't personally met—including the new girlfriend and her kids." "Furthermore, I want to establish a firm boundary: the holiday is for close family only, and if anyone shows up with uninvited guests, the gathering is immediately over, and everyone will be asked to leave." "Their family is used to catering to Bob, and I know taking charge of this hard boundary will cause friction." "AITA for putting my foot down?" Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "I feel like your spouse needs to grow a backbone and tell this to everyone on a family group chat." ~ pudge-thefish "I agree that people should stand up to their own families, but it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen here, so I’m going to support OP in doing the dirty work that their spouse won’t do even though they should." "It’s enough that OPs already ended up with a bunch of people who invited themselves, without them thinking they are entitled to invite random others. Or even the deep meaningful relationship of the last two weeks." ~ fuss-budgeT124 "The fact that the spouse won't step up and make it clear that their home isn't a f*cking adventure playground for their relatives and whomever they feel like bringing along, is the actual problem here. This situation should be the catalyst for hard-and-fast rules moving forward. NTA." ~ drunkenbees "Not anything close to this level of difficulty, but planning things with my family can be like herding cats. My wife had a great idea for an upcoming family gathering, and even though she is really close with them, she said, 'I married into this family; you make it happen'." ~ Blackdog3377 "Spouse should start the convo, and OP can be there to firmly back them up and not let them cave. They will then have experience with their new backbone and can hold the line next time." ~ beccabebe "THIS! And your spouse is the actual problem though, not Bob! If you deliver this, you'll be the villain in their family forever, and your spouse gets to stay neutral, which is exactly why they're happy for you to do it; one message from them costs the same and lands completely differently." ~ Ternerxdd "In the apparent absence of spouse's vertebrae, I would do it myself. I'd group text that you will not be accommodating any additional guests, and reiterate that none of them will be staying in your home, so they might want to make reservations now. And then I'd plan dinner out for the holiday. Which would be the only time I'd see any of them. I might even tell each party how much their share of dinner will be per person, because you know he's showing up with his girlfriend and her kids. And if any of them ever had access to a key, I'd change the locks." ~ Ornery_Donkey_7156 "More like OP and spouse need to take a sudden vacation out of state to make their point if they don’t grow a backbone in time." ~ Select-Promotion-404 "NTA for putting your foot down, but you need to get on the same page with your spouse. If your spouse isn’t willing to get on the same page with you, I suggest cancelling the event outright." ~ Dangerous-Art-Me "This is the way, OP (you are NTA of course). Tell them, 'I'm so sorry, but this event is getting far beyond what I had in mind - not to mention what the house will hold - and I'm afraid we just won't be able to host.' Repeat as needed." "If they steamroll your spouse into letting them come anyway, your script for spouse is 'OK, enjoy the party planning, hosting and cleanup! I've got a hotel room booked and a bottle of wine with my name on it'." ~ Shoereader "THIS! It's exactly what I was getting ready to type! If your spouse caves, they're also entirely in charge of the food. How spouse decides what to buy, when to shop, how to cook it, what to cook it with, whether the guests are bringing something—that's all on spouse." "Get that hotel room and let spouse experience the consequences for not having your back and caving to family (and turn off your phone). Advice and help are for people who don't undermine you. Spouse can't fail to stand beside you, then expect you to stand by them." ~ Aunt_Kwan "NTA, inviting others to houses that aren't yours is seriously weird... I cannot blame you at all for the girlfriend—you have already showed more patience than I'd have by the fact your in-laws are inviting others. " ~ Hogwartsgryffindor "We’ve run into this several times. Even having one relative tell someone they knew they could plan on staying with us. That is as they traveled. We didn’t know them." "Found this out when I got a call from the relative asking why I wasn’t answering the door. 'Well Karl, I’m out of state right now.' My neighbors went out and talked with the couple in my driveway, told them I had no idea they were invited." "Also had a unique military event; I invited the grandparents. That was it. It was a small group situation on a base with limited access." "Both grandparents invited others. The others invited more. It was a mess. Some people see themselves as the main person of the family." ~ lifeofGuacmole "No one is taught etiquette anymore." ~ PeppermintEvilButler "This has happened to my family's Thanksgiving multiple times. Those people always bring a box, make a huge plate, and leave after getting their food. Don't even bother to socialize. I can't imagine the evil mindset." ~ Acceptable_Long_5101 "I would be less worried about Bob and more worried about a spouse that doesn’t go to bat for you." ~ Upper_Collar_5981 "NTA, but welcome to the rest of your life. Your doormat husband gets you to be the bad guy or you both get steamrolled! Fun!" ~ DrukMeMa "How about you just say no to hosting the whole thing. Your in-laws are welcome to organize something at a different venue, and you will attend, but you’re not doing that for them." ~ Naive_Pay_7066 "ESH. You also 'lack a backbone.' Instead of clearly telling the in-laws you didn't want additional guests, you beat around the bush and hoped they would get a hint... then got annoyed when they didn't. Pot, meet Kettle." ~ Spare-Shirt24 "Mhm. It’s also Thanksgiving, not just some random dinner invite. It’s definitely unusual to volunteer to host Thanksgiving but only invite some family members but not others." "It’s OP’s home, so they technically have the right to ban people from entering, but if they want to only host some people but not others, they or their spouse need to be explicit about that." "And OP needs to be prepared for her in-laws to decide to do Thanksgiving elsewhere if they can’t all celebrate together." ~ hc600 "I agree with this take. I can't stand the posts where OP acts like their life is happening to them and there's nothing they can do to stop it. Hopefully OP really will step up for themself and put their foot down about this guest list." ~ inductiononN OP needs to have some serious discussions with their spouse if they intend to set boundaries with their in-laws. If their spouse isn’t on the same page, their efforts will be in vain. --- ### Busy College Student Called 'Disgusting' For Refusing To Help With Sister's Baby Due To Work And School **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/sister-baby-responsibility-reddit/.md Are family members obligated to help care for children? While it's nice if family wants to help out, should a new parent expect them to? A busy college student turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback over her sister's impending motherhood. JinxToxic92 asked: "AITA for telling my mom I will not take care of my sister's baby?" The original poster (OP) explained: "I (female, 20) have two jobs, car, licenses, and study for two bachelor programs. I am a busy person and when I’m not doing anything, I am expected by myself to clean a two story home alone." "My sister (23) has no car, no job, no licenses, and chose to have a baby and said she thinks she’s ready. Baby daddy is 4 hrs away living with his home boys." "My family all support her, but when it comes to me making a change in my life, my ideas are not supported." "My mom comes home telling me when my sister's baby is born, sometimes I will need to help pitch in to take care of the baby." "Now I am excited to be an auntie, yes. But I won’t take care of it SOMETIMES because I have my responsibilities and free time." "Especially since when she gives birth or getting close, all the responsibilities will apparently be going to me such as cleaning house and etc... even though I already feel like they are making me do it everyday so much so to the point I’ve fallen behind on stuff including personal self care." "I told her if my sister's sitting right next to the baby, I’m not gonna help her. She has to be a good mother to it and learn." "And then if she needs help and I am present and I’m not downstairs or away across the house and she needs help or is confused about something, I will help her. I’m not going to completely ignore her." "My sister and mom and mom’s boyfriend were calling me disgusting and disrespectful and crude for it." "My mother makes the remark 'if u were in need of help or ill or maybe pregnant, your sister would help u.' Which is wrong." "When I was 16 I got into a car accident and my sister was 19. My mother asked her to watch me and put my guard rails up while she went to the cafeteria. Well, my sister didn't do what she asked, and I fell on my already broken arm because I was sleeping and rolled out of bed." "I love my sister and my mom, but my sister and mom pick favorites for each other and I’ve always been a daddy’s girl. But, sadly, my dad isn’t in the picture anymore and is currently homeless." "AITA?" Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "NTA. Plan your escape from that house. You need to physically remove yourself." ~ curious382 "Ask them where she was when she was asked to help you after your accident. And say, 'oh, that's right, she left me alone and I fell out of bed because all she cares about is herself'." "Your family is absolutely disgusting OP. I wouldn't help her even if I was right there. She made her bed, she can lie in it." ~ SacksonvilleShaguar "I'd definitely be keeping my boundaries firm. They're already expecting OP to carry responsibilities that belong to the adults having the baby, and that's not something she should just quietly accept." ~ DryPractice9639 "Don't do a damn thing OP. You work 2 jobs. Is it financially realistic for you to leave? I have a feeling you are going to be expected to watch the baby while your sister goes out like every weekend." ~ _slagathor_ "Two bachelor's programs would have stiff tuition bills. I'm taking 10 credit hours and my total bill for the semester is about $6000. OP is probably in a poor financial state to add in housing costs. If the university has dorms might be able to get a housing grant to help them gain independence from this nightmare." ~ sweetmusic_ "Tell your sister that she needs to figure out who to contact to get a child support order against the baby dad and childcare assistance so she can get a job." ~ LogicalLady2021 "That sounds like your sister's problem, not yours." ~ MissingInAction01 "Tell your mom, 'Tell you what: when the baby's father is contributing as much as you expect me to, we can revisit the distribution of labor. Until then, your energy is better spent getting the parents of this child to support it. Especially since they felt 'ready'." ~ 1pinksquirrel1scotch "NTA, nope, nope, nope. Sis is having the baby, not your problem. Sounds like your mom and mom’s bf have volunteered to help." ~ United_Pop_6442 "NTA. But it sounds like you're on track to do something with your life and are making better choices for your future. Kudos to you! In the meantime, if it were me, I would be busy all the time." "Like not even at home. Stay at a friend house sometimes, if you need a little extra rest. But don't be available to your family, or they will expect you to help." ~ Spiritual_Promise735 "Not your circus, not your monkey." ~ charliecantdance "But she's related to the clowns." ~ Otherwise-Wall-6950 "Can you afford to move out? If so, try to do so before the baby is born. Leave them to pay their own bills and clean their own house." ~ teresajs "NTA. Oh, sweetie, I kinda get the feeling that you might be the financial pin holding this circus together. If you haven't already, get a bank account they don't know about and cannot access. Have your checks direct deposited, having things like that in place makes it much easier when applying for apartments." "Everything is crazy expensive, I know, but starter and studio apartments exist in a more rational price zone usually.You are 20, you cannot take on the entire burden of supporting other adults who should be taking care of themselves. Why would you be expected to be the only one cleaning or maintaining?" "I don't know where you go to school, but often times they have student services that can help kids like you get out of unhealthy situations, and that sounds like where you may be. Hugs. I believe in you. I want *you* to believe in you, and realize you deserve better." ~ MsConstrue "NTA Your sister has no car, no job, no license.....she is FAR from 'ready' to take on parenting a child. You have got enough on your plate and your family's outlook on her situation is not realistic." "The father of the baby needs to be involved in the care. Don't let your mom and sister guilt you into doing more than you are able." ~ Aggressive_Cattle320 "My mom used to call me a daddy's girl too, and she and my sister would treat me like an intruder whenever I walked into the room they were in. It made me so angry and we are no contact now, it's been 5 years. It will only get better when you get away." ~ kendrahawk "Finish your degrees and get out of that house as quickly as you can. They will hold you back. They have no ambition and don’t support yours. Good luck." "Let sis raise her own baby and make her help clean. And. DO NOT GIVE THEM MONEY. Save and get on with your life. NTA." ~ GrumpyGranny66 "You'll probably need to make yourself less available. Study at the library instead of at home, for example. You might find yourself stuck with the baby if you're sitting in your room studying because 'she deserves some me time' to go out partying and you're just sitting there anyway." "I hope you're close to being finished with your degrees and can move away soon, you won't get much peace until you do. NTA." ~ Accomplished_Cod7613 "You didn’t make the baby; you are not responsible for taking care of the baby. Move out as soon as you can. In the meantime, spent your spare time out of the house. Study at school. NTA." ~ CrankyWife "NTA, obviously. It's perfectly fine to prioritize yourself. Focus on getting your feet under you as an independent adult. The sooner you can get out of that house, the better." "Family situations like this are much easier to evaluate and handle when you're on the outside and no longer dependent." ~ Blerg_McGlerg "NTA. Tell mom that when you HAVE a baby, you will be %100 responsible for it. Anyone else has a baby, you will CHOOSE when and what ’help’ you provide." "You may need to learn to leave occasionally and go to a library or cafe, just to make the point. NOT my baby, NOT my responsibility." ~ SunshinePrincess21 "NTA. They are trying to sabotage you. They see how hard you work, they see that you are going to find a way to be successful. They are bitter about it." "This is one of those insidious little gaslighting schemes that bitter family members do to try and keep others down that they seem to be getting far ahead of where the family wants them to be. Stop answering their dumb questions and set-ups to make you look bad. It's also time to start LYING." "If you have time that you are not working or studying, lie. Say you are in fact working, or have a class, and get out of the house.Any studying that you truly need to do, do it at the library. Because if you are at home, they will interrupt. Claim you have to out in 'lab time' this semester, or whatever excuse is applicable to what your studying." "Don't feel bad about lying! You're just trying to survive until you finish school, can get a good job, and get out of the house where they want to pull you down instead of raise you up." ~ Lighthouse_on_Mars OP might be better off moving out sooner rather than later. --- ### Woman Fed Up After Husband Keeps Using ChatGPT To Tell Her She's Doing Housework The Wrong Way **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/husband-chatgpt-nitpick-reddit/.md No one likes having everything they do criticized. Especially when they're doing someone a favor. A wife turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback after her husband weaponized AI against her. Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. Few-Claim-584 asked: "AITAH for getting mad at my husband when he backseats me by using ChatGPT?" The original poster (OP) explained: "I (30, female) am married to my husband (33, male) for about a year. I love him so much, but I hate it when he backseats me at everything I do related to the kitchen." "Today when he asked for apples, I was washing them when he decided to ask ChatGPT if I'm washing it right or wrong. He then went and told me I'm doing it wrong, and this isn't the first time he did this." "He kept doing this for everything related to kitchen/cooking. I got fed up, stopped cutting the apples, told him to do it himself if I'm so wrong to the all-mighty machine, and left." "I've been crying for about 20 minutes, and I'm not talking to him for now." "Am I in the wrong for getting mad about this, or is it justified?" OP later added: "Maybe I didn't get my message across well, but it's not that I'm crying over apples. It's the buildup." "This isn't the first time he did this when it's related to cooking/washing or doing any favors for him in the kitchen. That's why I got super upset and cried." Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP wasn't wrong to be upset (NTA). "NTA. No one wants to be picked apart while they are doing a simple task. Tell him to stop. That you are not his child who needs to be monitored and corrected. He isn't superior to you or anyone else. Tell him you will not tolerate him being disrespectful going forward." ~ Chemical-Ad6809 "If my husband use AI like this, I would be so out. He's using AI to neg you SECOND HAND. So he can pretend it's not him really saying it." ~ stryker_cast "For reals, what an absolute loser he is. Dude needs to be single." ~ Rosary_Omen "The f*cking audacity. He might as well just be following her around with with a video feed to AI and a persistent 'how is she doing it wrong' prompt. This isn't how you treat someone you love." ~ sl0play "When he does, stop what you're doing, say 'Oh, you can do it then' and walk away. Don't come back to finish it. He will learn." ~ Speedracer__17 "This is the part that needs talked about. The husband is just using ChatGPT to humiliate and mentally abuse the OP for funsies. Guess he has to get his sick kicks somehow." ~ West-Double3646 "And just do it very calmly. That way it doesn’t cause a fight and may very well start teaching him 'oh, if I do this, then she stops, doesn’t get angry, but just stops and I have to do it'. Surely he will learn!!" "I’d love a 'thank you so much for looking that up so you can take over, that’s so sweet'.. but I guess that could turn passive aggressive. And you really want to stay calm so it keeps yourself calm, and doesn’t escalate anything that really is his problem." ~ OneInternational7867 "Yes, or if you need to finish it (if you're hungry for example) just finish your own portion of whatever he is criticising (dinner, laundry, etc...)." "Bonus points if you do this calmly with a smile on your face, because no doubt he will start acting shocked that you're 'so angry at such a small thing', you can tell him you're not angry, just leaving it to the expert!" ~ incrediblepepsi "Why do you have to cut apples for him to eat them? Is he finally transitioning to solid food? If so, you are probably married to a baby. Just a heads up. NTA." ~ catmand00d00 "Your husband’s using a completely unreliable source for stupid sh*t. Let him be a dumba** and stop helping him. Also, maybe ask him why he insists in outsourcing his brain to something that actively destroys our planet, is known to be wrong, etc... Tell him you’re worried about his cognitive decline since he can’t think for himself." ~ EasyLizin "Yep. Google’s AI results told me recently that there isn’t a certain store within 10 miles of my location, when I was standing right outside the open, operating store." ~ glitterswirl "Like genAI is flat out wrong extremely often and also will agree with whoever is using it no matter what they say. It's not an authority in any way. Him using it as one makes him pathetic on top of the bullsh*t way he's treating her." ~ myfancyplants "My grandmother used to say that the first person who criticized a meal was the next meal’s cook. He needs immediate and consistent consequences for his behavior. I would stop doing what I was doing and walk away." "Or hand it to him and say it is now his job since he knows how to do it best. And I would stop cooking for him until he knocks this off." "Some men don’t seem to care that their wife is angry, but they care if they are inconvenienced. Is this a pattern? Does he frequently correct you or tell you how to do things? It may be time for couples counseling." ~ Freyjas_child "Omg. Let the child manage the kitchen himself, if he’s so f*cking opinionated. Easy fix. Go watch a movie or take a bath. Pamper yourself." "This is negging and minimizing you. It’s to put you down and make you feel small and worthless. Obviously NTA." ~ NicolinaN "I lived on a farm where we had a community agreement—do not give people unsolicited direction on how to do something unless you’re willing to just do it yourself. Since the computerized lying and hallucination machines aren’t capable of doing anything in the physical world, they’re exempt from giving direction about it." "Really, the issue is your husband keeps undermining you and he’s not even smart enough to know what the f*ck he’s talking about so he’s outsourced undermining you to a machine. And I have absolutely zero respect for anyone who uses ChatGPT in lieu of their brain for any reason, but he’s doing it just to be controlling and disrespectful of you. NTA." ~ georgiechristine "You are a better woman than I will ever be, because my very petty, very unforgiving nature would force me to follow him around constantly asking ChatGPT what he is doing wrong, and explaining him how wrong he is." "Or not even asking AI, just making stuff up on such a consistent basis that he would be the one in tears by the third day, and threatening to call the cops on me by the fifth." "Stuff like, 'Chat says your pants and shirt do not go well together. Chat says you say this word wrong. Chat says your mom loves your brother more than you. Chat says you don't have the adequate PSI in the tires of your car. Chat says this band you like objectively sucks. Chat says you sports team will loose every important game this year. Chat says you drink funny, like how you reach out with your lips for the glass is specifically something low IQ people do. Chat says your role model holds very different values from your own and would be ashamed if they knew about you. Chat says your favorite food is not healthy for man your age and you cannot have it anymore. Chat says you should probably start wearing adult diapers, without specifying why, but I think we both know why. Chat says your favorite signer is Ed Sheeran. Chat says the people you miss don't miss you back. Chat says your childhood dog ran away because he disliked you. Chat says that the smell is coming from your mouth'." ~ Lightlysingedwitch "Perhaps if you consulted chat GPT about his bedroom and performance, he'd stop doing this. It's silly that people suspend their own curiosity and thought processes, using technology as an oracle instead of a tool. ~ Duke_Newcombe "I wouldn't cry over this, but I definitely would stop doing him favors in the kitchen. If he says you do everything wrong, then he can do it all himself the "right" way or have ChatGPT do it for him. ~ MistressJacklynHyde "Same, but I think I'd also ask chat gpt during sex if he's doing it right lol. Maybe it could offer him some pointers. Or turn on weaponized incompetence mode, ask him for advice on every chore, fail it and delegate to him since he knows better apparently. A lot of possibilities there. ~ irrocau "People like this can drive you absolutely batsh*t, even if you like them in every other way." "I'm a mechanic, my neighbour asked me about his dash telling him he had a taillight out on his car, but he didn't know which one. I said 'go out, hit the brakes, and have your wife stand behind the car and tell you which is out...'." "He said 'OK, great, thanks, I'm going to ask ChatGPT first though'. I'm thinking, 'How the f*ck is ChatGPT going to tell you anything here?' Some people can't not use it for everything." ~ deebz19 OP needs to make clear to her husband that his behavior is unacceptable and won't be tolerated. --- ### Redditor Baffled After Sister Worries They'll Give Unvaccinated Niece Measles During Visit Despite Being Vaccinated **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/unvaccinated-niece-measles-reddit/.md Whether or not to vaccinate our population has become an intensely divisive topic, one in which both sides question why the other would take the risk. But since the pandemic and the rush for a cure, there has been an increased number of anti-vaxxers, likely believing they now have a tangible example for their beliefs, reasoned the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit. Redditor Current_Ask_4309 was in their early 20s and fully vaccinated, while their older sister had stopped vaccinating her youngest child after the pandemic. When they were going to be in town for a wedding and wanted to visit, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked that their sister assumed they'd give her daughter measles, despite being the vaccinated one in the family. They asked the sub: "Am I overreacting by thinking my sister is being totally unreasonable, because she's freaked out that I will give my niece the measles?" The OP and their sister disagreed about medical vaccinations. "My (early 20s) sister (early 40s) is questioning letting me stay at her house in a few weeks because I’m visiting Lancaster, PA this weekend." "She’s worried I’ll bring measles to her unvaccinated child, even though I am fully vaccinated myself. This visit is for a wedding, and her child is seven." "For context, I am in my early 20s, and my sister is in her early 40s. I live in PA, and she lives in a different state. I’m planning to visit her in a few weeks." The OP was shocked by their sister's reaction to their travel plans. "Recently, I was telling her my weekend plans to visit the Lancaster, PA area. As soon as I mentioned where I was going, she started questioning me, and I could tell her whole demeanor changed." "I was genuinely confused by her reaction because I hadn't heard much about a measles outbreak in PA (maybe I’m out of touch on this, I’ll admit)." "She is pretty conservative and made the decision to leave my youngest niece unvaccinated (yeah, I know). Her older children are vaccinated, and her seven-year-old not being vaccinated has to be related to her political beliefs, in my opinion." "When I asked what was going on, I reassured her that I am fully vaccinated against measles, so everything should be fine." "She then brought up that my niece is unvaccinated and expressed that she is convinced I am somehow going to contract and bring measles to her home during my visit three weeks from now." "One of the main reasons for her freak-out is that when she googles Lancaster, it says, 'the epicenter of the measles outbreak.'" "She is so worked up about this that she’s currently questioning whether she’ll even let me stay at her house…" The OP was certain that their sister's worries were misplaced. "Am I wrong for feeling like this reaction is completely unreasonable??" "Because of our differences in views, I try to avoid certain conversations. I choose to stay away from politics as we have VERY different views." "Quite honestly, before this whole conversation tonight, I had no idea that her youngest was unvaxxed." "The whole house seems to constantly have some kind of bug/the flu during that season. She lives in a small town with this kind of crazy mindset. For those asking, 'Hasn’t she talked to the pediatrician?!,' well, yeah, I imagine so, and those people probably told her it’s FINE TO STAY UNVAXXED, because that's the kind of town they live in!" "Also, my niece is homeschooled, but the whole family regularly attends all kinds of events and extracurricular activities, and her older children are constantly out with friends." "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some criticized the sister, pointing out that there was an obvious solution. "NOR. If only there was something she could do to give her child lifelong protection…" - AlaskanAardvark "I'd be curious to know if mom is even self-aware enough to realize that people like her are the reason she has to even worry about it." - Dead-Lazlo "NOR. The irony is kinda wild. She’s worried about exposure while choosing not to vaccinate the kid in the first place. Kind of makes me want to beat my head against a wall, my god." - CharmerGurl "I'm sure we're all wringing our hands with anxiety. What could she POSSIBLY do to protect her child?!" "And with three weeks to go before the visit, if there were something that could be done, there would be sufficient time to do it. Alas, if only!" - Expert_Slip7543 "NOR. These people don't understand herd immunity, or their responsibility of upholding it to work together as part of society. We all benefit from being part of society, and we owe a duty to keep each other safe." "They're just in it for themselves." - GraceMcClellans "I wonder how these moron parents who have had their children die because they refused to get them vaccinated can live with themselves knowing it could have all been prevented. I feel so bad for these children." - zima72 "Measles is airborne... and lives HOURS in the air. If this child is in a public space, they are much more likely to get it than from a visiting relative. Measles outbreaks are happening all over the country because of id**ts like her. Tell her so to her face and tell her it's not too late to vaccinate the child." - I_pinchyou "NOR. The measles are one of the most contagious diseases out there. It will stay in the air for up to two hours. You should be the last person she should be worried about giving her kid the measles." "If she is so freaked out, why not just vaccinate her? People are id**ts." - farmlifeismything "Let your sister know historically age five was considered a major milestone, because child mortality rates were extremely high. Surviving the first five years meant a child had a much stronger chance of reaching adulthood." "Forty to fifty percent of children died before their fifth birthday back then due to poor sanitation, malnutrition, and infectious diseases." "The dramatic rise in child survival rates was primarily driven by public health infrastructure, clean water, and modern medicine. Revolutionary medical breakthroughs targeted the infectious diseases that decimated children under five, the most important and effective being mass immunizations." "Vaccines for devastating childhood killers, including smallpox, measles, diphtheria, pertussis, and polio, eliminated major epidemics and thousands of deaths." "Any parent who doesn't vaccinate should have their children removed; they are literally putting their child's life at risk, along with the countless children and adults who either can't be vaccinated or are at risk due to a compromised immune system, cancer, chemotherapy, etc." "Your sister is an a**hole. If she doesn't want to participate in societal norms that keep the entire population safe, she should buy an island for her family and all their fellow id**ts. That way they won't compromise the health of people who actually possess functioning brain cells." "My parents were old enough to remember a time before vaccines. My uncle had measles as a child; he lived with epilepsy for the rest of his life due to the high fevers. My mom had a good friend who ended up in an iron lung due to polio." "People lined up to get vaccines; they couldn't get them fast enough! Everyone wanted them; there were no 'antivaxxers'. Sadly, our privilege in never knowing such horrors has made us far too complacent." "Show your sister videos of people who think like her, whose child passed away due to their poor decisions. They ended up regretting their ignorance... unfortunately, only once it was far too late." "NOR. If she's so 'worked up' about it, tell her to listen to her pediatrician and get her child vaccinated!!!" - KittyyyMeowww Others agreed and suspected the sister felt this way because of the pandemic. "I bet the pandemic made her go antivax." "It's so STUPID! I can even understand people questioning and having doubts about a brand new vaccine that got developed and approved in record time, but it has nothing to do with the childhood disease vaccines that we (Gen X) and my kids (Millennials) all got and actually are proven to prevent diseases for decades!" "I am old enough to know a lady who had polio as a child. She was lucky; she survived, but it somehow shortened one of her legs, and she walked with a deep limp her whole life." "It was not preventable for her, but it was for her kids (who were my age), and it's preventable for my kids and grandkids, and to not take advantage of that, in my opinion, is just irresponsible." - BeachinLife1 "During the pandemic, my mom, like all of us, tried to find some frame of reference for what was going on." "All she could compare it to was the Polio epidemic, which was one of her earliest memories and had made a huge impression on her as a very young child. I have also known a handicapped woman who became that way due to polio- she wore braces/used crutches her entire life." "As far as measles, I hope this mom vaccinates her child! I was among a large group whose vaccines did not work, and many of us got measles during our early adulthood. I have NEVER been so sick in my life & probably should have been hospitalized." - Runns_withScissors "I remember when I was getting vaccines for kindergarten and complained about it to my grandmother. That's when she talked about polio, and how that's the reason she had a limp and kept falling and breaking her hip. How she was considered lucky because she survived and didn't need an iron lung." "Then she talked about reading in the newspaper that there was a vaccine, and she dropped to her knees and thanked God, then packed up her kids and drove to the city to get it for all of them, and as the rest were born she did it the minute they were old enough." "I never complained about them again." - Different-Leather359 "NOR, but your sister is!!!" "Wow. Just. Wow. The lack of knowledge among people about basic medicine and epidemiology is just staggering." "She really should vaccinate her child. Then she wouldn't have to be concerned. I mean, I assume she’s been vaccinated, and the devil never entered her body, right?" "Does she homeschool her children? I assume the child socializes with other kids and can contract it elsewhere. It’s very virulent!" "Imagine allowing viruses and diseases kill us that we’ve actually eradicated. I’m sure all of Africa is looking at us saying, 'What is wrong with them? They could have handled their s**t easily but chose not to.'" "There’s actually a really good episode of The Pitt that deals with this too. Kid gets some horrible, easily preventable infection like this." - ChristineBorus The subreddit was deeply confused by the sister's concern, as she'd already vaccinated her older children and presumably hadn't seen any side effects. If she was so worried about her youngest contracting something, an easy solution was available at any time. --- ### New Parent Refuses To Let Their 'Staunch Anti-Vaxxer' Parents Meet Newborn Until Baby Gets Their Shots **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/baby-antivaxx-grandparents-reddit/.md There's no time in a person's life when they will be more vulnerable to illness than when they are first born. That's why it's so important for them to receive the vaccinations they need and for the people around them to be as healthy as possible. But some people insist that they should be able to be around a baby, just because they want to be, even if they're also an avid anti-vaxxer, side-eyed the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITAH) subReddit. Redditor Bernoodermooster's parents were unfortunately of this mindset and were increasingly resentful of not being able to meet their grandson because they had not been vaccinated. When other people in the Original Poster's (OP) life, like their wife's parents, were happy to help keep their baby safe, they felt guilty about their parents but knew they were doing the right thing for their baby's safety. They asked the sub: "Am I the a**hole for not letting my unvaccinated parents meet my baby?" The OP and their wife were insistent that the people around their baby be vaccinated. "Our baby is six weeks old and is set to receive his DTaP vaccine at or around week eight." "I informed my parents (who are staunch anti-vaxxers) about a week before our son was born that we would not let him come into contact with anyone who hasn't received the Tdap vaccine or booster shot within the last 10 years, until he is old enough to get that vaccine at two months." The OP's and their wife's parents reacted to this boundary very differently. "Mom and Dad were understandably upset, and still are. They did offer to wear masks if we let them meet our baby." "I don't like keeping my son from them on principle, but I don't want to remove that boundary just to make them happy at the potential cost of my son's health." "My wife and I are in agreement with this, and her family did receive the vaccines when we asked them to." "Also, my dad was hospitalized several years ago from COVID and nearly died. Apparently, he was told by his doctor that receiving the whooping cough vaccine is too risky due to the amount of scarring on his lungs." The OP's parents became increasingly resentful about not getting to meet their grandson. "The situation is getting worse, and their resentment toward me and my wife is growing." "I also work with my dad at our family business, and while he is cordial with me and hasn't complained directly to me, my mom has sent me some ugly messages." "AITAH?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NTA: Not the A**hole YTA: You're the A**hole ESH: Everybody Sucks Here NAH: No A**holes Here Some reassured the OP that babies need to be protected from vaccine-preventable diseases. "Children die from vaccine-preventable diseases. Please stand your ground and NTA." - Necessary_cat735 "My younger brother was hospitalized with pertussis. IMO you are not being punitive. Usually people have at least a mild cough, I believe." - Psychological-Dot475 "I was vaccinated as an adult when we had a local pertussis outbreak thanks to antivaxxers, and I still got it and was sick for four months. There were days I thought I was dying and almost welcomed it. Herd immunity prevented breakthrough infections for decades until the antivaxxers ruined it. I wouldn’t wish pertussis on my worst enemy, not even them, but they are my worst enemy." - blueskies8484 "I don't even need to get past the title to determine NTA." "Your child's health trumps your parents' hurt feelings." "What if you let them see your child and the child got sick because of them? How would they feel then?" "It's your child, so it's your rules. You're not keeping the baby from them; they're keeping the baby from them. They get the shot; everything's OK. So they're choosing not to get a shot. They're doing this to themselves." - Vandreeson "I am a pediatric ER doc, and I am frankly terrified by the number of people who are refusing to vaccinate their kids. Right now we have decent herd immunity, but in 10 years?" "NTA. I have treated a few kids with pertussis (only a few because, you know, vaccines) and it is miserable. Sometimes young babies cough until they turn blue." "The other thing I have learned in my career is that parental concern is important. That doesn’t mean I do whatever the parent wants, but I do take it into account. In your case, you don’t want to be worrying about your new baby! That matters, too." - Loud-Bee6673 "I know one person who has had actual doctor recommendations to not get certain vaccines, so if this was me, I’d be super apologetic but still stand my ground that we can’t wait for you to meet them once they have more protection elsewhere." "It sounds like OP’s dad had a recommendation to not get it due to repercussions of COVID, but if they’re already anti-vaccine, I don't know if I'd trust that doctor's recommendation implicitly if I didn’t believe he would get that immunization even if he could, ya know?" - witchywoman713 "I’d frame it as, 'I’m sorry you value your antivax beliefs more than meeting your grandson.'" "OP, I’m with you. I very much doubt their doctor told OP's dad to skip a vaccine that prevents a severe viral cough because of prior COVID. If they did, they found a quack to validate their prior antivax beliefs (there’s often one in town that the antivax people tell each other about), but I’ve seen so many people flat-out lie that their doctor told them not to get vaccinated." "Getting whooping cough would be so much worse for OP's dad; if he actually has that much scar tissue, getting an infection will mess with his oxygen levels even more and put him at risk of a pneumothorax. There’s nothing keeping OP’s mom from getting vaccinated. If OP’s child got whooping cough, it would be a severe issue." "They want to have their autonomy over their own health choices? Okay, they’re adults. Under that logic, as I’m sure they told their kids growing up, OP and their spouse are the only ones who get to make health choices for their minor children and have full unquestionable autonomy, too." "OP’s parents can make those antivax choices for themselves, but they don’t get to invalidate OP’s predetermined and clearly communicated requirements. The grandparents need to accept it, or they’re massive hypocrites." "Their desire to see the kid right away doesn’t in any way take priority over OP’s choice to protect their baby’s health. They’re not free from the consequences of other people’s reactions to their choices. They don’t get to set rules for their adult children’s families in any way, and sending them nasty messages says a lot about what kind of parents they were." - TheJointDoc Others who had been asked by their loved ones to get vaccinated willingly went. "NTA. Just look at the measles outbreak right now..." "We got Tdap and MMR before grand was born. No brainer, keeping the little one safe. OP's parents do not sound safe under any circumstances." - Suspicious_Name_8313 "My pregnant daughter said I needed to get updated vaccines, so I went that day. My stbx didn’t and wasn’t allowed around the baby until he did." - FlounderBetter2204 "My DIL asked me to get TDAP about three months before her due date. I was at a pharmacy getting a shot before the end of the day." "I still prepared myself to maybe have to wait until she was home from the hospital at least a few days to see my new granddaughter, and absolutely thrilled when I was invited to the hospital to see her the same day she was born. Even more thrilled to have my sweet DIL ask if I wanted to hold her." "A little respect for DILs and new parents goes a very long way." - definitelytheA "I'm not allowed to get the DTaP vaccine because I'm allergic to eggs. When my niece was born, my sister wouldn't let me come around her until she was able to be vaccinated." "The situation wasn't anyone's fault, but I understood it was necessary to protect someone I loved." "My point being, even if they truly can't be vaccinated, that doesn't change the risk to the baby, and therefore having them stay away still makes OP NTA, in my opinion." - zanylanie "NTA. They made their choice about the vaccine; you made yours about who gets close to your six-week-old. Neither choice requires the other person to be happy about it." - Mohitosan_ The subreddit welcomed the OP's boundary with open arms, happy to see the child's health and safety prioritized over someone's feelings about meeting them. As lovely as it would eventually be to meet their grandson, it was better to meet a strong, healthy grandson than a compromised one; and if they met him now, as they wanted, they would have a compromised grandson. --- ### Suspicious Redditor Wants Divorce After Husband Erases His Phone Instead Of Showing Them His Photos **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/husband-deletes-photos-reddit/.md For most people, finding out their partner is cheating on them will be an absolute, immediate deal-breaker, no other questions asked. It's almost funny, then, how far some people will go to hide their infidelity, like deleting their messages and photos, as if that will make them look less suspicious, said with an eye-roll the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit. Despite being with their husband for 19 years, Redditor lonelysqrl had become increasingly suspicious that their husband was unfaithful, so when they caught him looking at his phone a little too intensely, they decided it was time for a confrontation. But when their husband refused to let them see his phone and even wiped the phone of everything, the Original Poster (OP) was certain their husband was cheating, or worse, and immediately wanted to get a divorce. They asked the sub: "Am I overreacting, or is my husband cheating?" The OP became suspicious that their husband was cheating on them. "A few nights ago, I went to bed before my husband but couldn’t sleep, so I got up to get something to drink." "When I walked into the kitchen, my husband was on his phone. He saw me and quickly slammed his phone face down against his leg so I couldn’t see the screen." "I asked him what he was doing. He said it was nothing, that he was just looking at Instagram. Right." "A little background. We don’t have access to each other’s devices because he claims he has sensitive data on his phone and computer for work. I have no problem giving him access to my devices, but he never asked." The OP's husband refused to let them see his phone. "At this point, I‘m very suspicious and unsettled. I asked to see his phone. He said no." "Now I’m extremely suspicious. After arguing for a while, he finally relented and showed me his phone." "On it were a couple of recent messages to random women asking them out for drinks. He claimed that it was for business. Not a date. Questionable, but not completely out of the realm of possibilities." "Then I started looking through the photos on his phone. He became visibly nervous." "Nothing crazy in his photo library until I came upon a locked folder. I asked him to open it. He said no." "Now I’m livid! I asked him repeatedly to unlock the folder. He refused and managed to snatch his phone back." Then the OP's husband did the unthinkable. "I told him if he didn’t show me what was in that folder, that we would have serious problems. I even unlocked my phone and shoved it at him and said to look through it because I have nothing to hide." "He then said that if I calm down and sit, he would show me the photos in the locked folder." "He then proceeded to unlock the folder but turned the screen away from me. From the quick glance that I managed to catch, it looked like he had nudes on his phone." "I'm pissed, and I tried to reach for the phone, but he kept holding it away from me while he tapped on the screen, doing something." "I assume he was deleting the photos, but it turned out he wiped his whole entire phone!" "I told him he didn’t live here anymore after that." The OP's husband continued to insist that he wasn't cheating. "The next day, he called to profess his innocence. Said that he had random spicy photos from the internet saved on his phone and was embarrassed to show me." "I said wiping the entire phone screams that he had multiple things that were so d**ning that he had to go the nuclear route." "He insisted that he was having issues with his phone (this part I know to be true), and the customer service/warranty people told him he needed to factory reset his phone, so that was already on the forefront of his mind." "My theory is that he is cheating, and those photos either showed someone I would recognize or him in a compromising position. He still maintains he never cheated but just had sketchy photos in that folder." "Since he wiped his whole phone, I would never know. I understand everything is backed up in the cloud, but now he has time to delete whatever he wants to hide. I have zero data points to prove his guilt or innocence." The OP was insistent about getting a divorce. "I told him I wanted a divorce, but he is adamant that he was under duress and that it was a stupid move to wipe the phone, but he didn’t cheat." "He said if he could do it all over again, he would just show me. A little too late, isn’t it?" "For reference, we have been together (dating and married) for 19 years. But how can I ever trust him again after this? I feel like I’m being gaslit, but of course there is always that sliver of doubt… am I wrong? Is he telling the truth?" "Cheating is absolutely a deal breaker. He has known that since the beginning. Random nudes is still s**tty but forgivable…" "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some were intensely critical of the OP's husband and his list of excuses for his behavior. "He wiped his phone clean? Then the sensitive data most definitely wasn't for work." "He was under duress? Nah, he got caught and is trying to come up with bulls**t excuses." "He's cheating or is trying to. Divorce him! NOR." - Otherwise-Wall-6950 "Under duress, from whom? His affair partner who now said she’s going to expose him?" "Did his friends coerce him? That excuse is as good as the person who said their wife said her affair partner hypnotized her and she just couldn’t say no." "Did these women hold a gun to his head to get him on the phone or into bed? That better be the situation if my husband threw that stupid excuse out there." "Only through the thought of bodily harm or death would be the only way it would be excused. If there wasn’t, he’s out, permanently. Let all those others have him, as he’s not worth having." - Shadow4summer "Gotcha. He wiped his phone because he was under duress. I bet it felt like duress, but it was actually panic. He was panicking because he didn’t want it seen, whatever it was he erased. He's disgusting." "OP, please keep listening to yourself. The gaslighitng here is absolutely bats**t." - rydenshep "Well, 'duress' worked because he showed you who he is. He's awful. So believe him. Sorry you've basically wasted 19 years on a lying piece of s**t." "You can do better. Heck, just being alone would beat being with a lying, sneaky cheater. Leave the trash on the curb." - tyjo12 "I just want to reassure you that your reaction is perfectly normal to discovering betrayal from your spouse. Do not let him tell you that your response was over-exaggerated. You need a therapist who specializes in betrayal trauma because what’s about to follow will be so hard, but it will get better." - ittybittytitty_com Others agreed and were certain that the husband was lying and cheating. "He wiped the phone that apparently you weren't able to access because he had sensitive information on it, work-related? Oh, he had sensitive information on it, all right, enough to show that he is cheating and a lying s**thead." "You know he's lying, because simple nudes wouldn't lead to divorce; cheating would, and he knows this, hence him not wanting you to find out because he knows your deal breaker." "You don't have to have definitive proof; his actions are enough. He's gaslighting you." "Stay the course. I bet you he will feed you information drip by drip and minimise it every time, hoping that giving you small tidbits will lessen your anger and accept his explanations. It may be that he's emotionally cheating, but it's still cheating." "He knows this too; nobody wipes their apparently important phone unless he was scared of you finding stuff that would end your marriage. He chose the nuclear option when he panicked; that's not an innocent man's actions." - Longjumping-Lime4986 "I also had a partner like this, and he did the same thing. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and little by little, things got worse over years. We had five kids and were married for 17 years. Until one day, he spit it all out in an argument, as if he was proud that he had nine different affairs." "He also worked in computer security, so he claimed that it was a security issue that I couldn’t see his phone. I filed for divorce so fast, it is now been six years, and he still has people thinking that I deserted the family. No one, no one, knows that he was guilty as a motherf**ker. God knows how long he did that s**t in our marriage." "But I gave him the benefit of the doubt for far too long. I thought about divorce when I was 41; I’m now 47. I feel like the older I get, the less patience I have, or tolerance, for stupid bulls**t like this." "I would be gone if I were this poster. I don’t care how many years I have with you, manipulating me is not OK, and making me feel like I am crazy or imagining things is even worse." "If I could do it all over again, I would’ve never given him the benefit of the doubt, and I would’ve trusted my gut from the get-go." - EducationalNerve9550 "OP girl, he is already dating or trying to date multiple women. That is enough in itself." "Wiping his phone? There is no way back." "Nothing for you here, make sure to get what you are owed and then some. You haven't got minimum fidelity for a very long time." "And you need to do a full panel for STDs." - Successful-Doubt5478 "I hope for your sake he hasn’t been dabbling in anything illegal, i.e., anything under 18, because that’s the only thing I can imagine being on his phone that would justify the absolute panic and nuclear wipe." "NOR. His reaction confirms just how incredibly damning the evidence must’ve been. If cheating really is a deal-breaker for you, consider that deal broken." - SnooGuavas4208 "NOR. I commented elsewhere that he could not have been inviting women out to business meetings at that hour because they would interpret that as sexual harassment." "But I also want to suggest you change the conversation the next time he talks to you: Why does he want to stay married to you if he doesn't even respect you enough to show you his phone and tell you the truth about what he's doing with it?" "He doesn't see you as a teammate or partner; he doesn't trust you; he doesn't feel like you deserve to know the real him, so why stay married?" "Why can't he agree to let you go so he can arrange as many late-night business meetings as he wants from now on?" - SpaceCommuter The subReddit completely agreed with the OP that their husband was being incredibly suspicious by not answering questions and wiping his phone before the OP could see it. Having an affair is bad enough, but if the husband had evidence on his phone to suggest a lengthy affair, multiple affairs, or something far worse, the OP deserved to get out of that situation as fast as possible. --- ### Woman Storms Out Of Boyfriend's Party After He Introduces Her As 'Friend' To His Buddies **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/boyfriend-friend-buddies-reddit/.md Regardless of their relationship with you, if they feel negatively about you, their feelings will eventually come out. Unfortunately, they'll sometimes be revealed in very embarrassing ways, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit. Redditor Queasy-Sugar-58 had been with her boyfriend for a year and a half, and they were seriously talking about taking the next couple of steps, including moving in together and getting engaged. When she went to a party at his apartment, where she finally got to meet his friends, the Original Poster (OP) was appalled when he only introduced her as "his friend," and she promptly left the party early, not interested in being publicly embarrassed like that. She asked the sub: "Am I overreacting for leaving my boyfriend's apartment after he introduced me as his 'friend'?" The OP thought she was in a serious relationship. "I’m a 27-year-old woman, and I’ve been seeing my boyfriend, who's 29, for about a year and a half." "We don’t share a home yet, but weekends often find us at each other’s places, and we’ve had some serious talks about getting engaged and moving in together in the future." "Last weekend, we hit up a small get-together at a friend’s apartment. I’d met most folks there before, so I thought I’d be fine; no awkwardness expected." But then the OP's boyfriend said something that made her question everything. "However, during the gathering, one of his buddies asked him how we knew each other." "With a laugh, my boyfriend replied, 'Oh, we’re friends. She’s been around for a while.'" "Everyone chuckled, and just like that, they moved on. But honestly? I was shocked." "I chose not to speak up at the party, because I didn’t want to stir the pot." "After another hour of feeling drained, I made my excuses about not feeling well and left." Later, the OP's boyfriend dismissed what he said as a joke. "As I was heading home, he called, curious about what was bothering me. I told him that hearing him call me his friend after 18 months together really stung." "He brushed it off, saying I was overreacting and insisting it was all just a joke." "He claimed he didn’t want to ruin the mood by making any big relationship announcements in front of everyone." "I pointed out that no one asked him to announce anything and that just a simple, 'She’s my girlfriend' would’ve sufficed." "Then he hit me with something that really got under my skin: 'Why does it matter what I called you? You know what we are.'" "I responded that it does matter; how someone labels their relationship to others reveals how they view it." The OP wasn't sure what to make of what happened that night. "Now, he’s miffed that I left instead of chatting with him privately at the party. He insists I embarrassed him by walking out and turned a harmless joke into a relationship dilemma." "I would have felt differently if it had been a random joke between us, but him referring to me as just a friend in front of others made me feel like he was trying to downplay our relationship intentionally. He thinks I'm making too much of it." "Was I wrong for leaving and making this into a bigger issue?" "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some were furious on the OP's behalf about the "joke" her boyfriend told. "What was the punchline? Where is the joke? The 'joke' is you still hanging around this guy while he gives you scraps. Don't accept them. Leave." - TartarSauceDippinDots "After A YEAR AND A HALF HE'S CONCERNED ABOUT NOT MAKING A 'BIG ANNOUNCEMENT'!?! What does that mean then, that he hasn't even mentioned that he's had a girlfriend for the past one and a half years?!" - Radiant-Button-7969 "NOR. That wasn't a random joke; that was him publicly denying your relationship. I'm sorry, but he clearly doesn't consider you his girlfriend and doesn't want others to think you are either." - loricomments "NOR. If he’s talking about MARRIAGE, he should be able to loudly and proudly declare you as his girlfriend to anyone and everyone. Should be bragging about you to his friends." "I see zero reason on earth for him to not say it with his chest when it matters. So for that reason, I’d be concerned as to why he actually called you a friend." - yoohoojuicepouch "NOR. You did the right thing in not talking about it at the party, and I don’t blame you for leaving when you did. He’s lucky you stayed that long." "Did he offer to go with you when you said you felt unwell? Don’t listen to his excuses or accept that you embarrassed him." "He’s the one who embarrassed you by denying your relationship, and he should feel ashamed of that. Don’t accept less than you’re worth, OP." - Historical_Kick_3294 "'He brushed it off, saying I was overreacting and insisting it was all just a joke.' It being your relationship?" "Do note that 'it is just a joke' is also pretty common gaslighting." "So was it really just a joke? And if it was, why didn't he correct himself later so that everybody clearly knew that it was a joke? Instead, he kept everyone else in the dark and kept making them believe you're just a friend of his. Why would he do that? Does he want his friends to believe that he's single for some reason?" "'Now, he’s miffed that I left instead of chatting with him privately at the party. He insists I embarrassed him by walking out and turned a harmless joke into a relationship dilemma.' Oh, now he's just not making any sense at all with this obvious DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim, Offense) attempt of his." "He's really manipulative, isn't he? After all, how could you have embarrassed him by leaving early because you weren't feeling well? How was that in any way embarrassing? His attempt to reverse it on you here falls completely flat on it's face due to how illogical it." "At this point you're not overreacting, you're underreacting. This guy is showing you so many flags in such a short period of time that it isn't even funny. Run and get an STD test done just in case; after all who knows how many other "friends" just like you he has." - Corodix Others agreed and were suspicious that the OP might be his secret side chick without her knowing. "NOR. If he's introducing you to his friends as just another friend, I'd be suspicious that he has another girlfriend (and OP's the other woman), and he doesn't want to tip his hand. He's disrespecting OP and their relationship." - wigglepie "I'm sorry this happened. It feels like he might be cheating on someone with you. NOR." - thetoxicgossiptrain "NOR. If you think back, is it possible that your bf didn't want to introduce you as his girlfriend because he might be secretly interested in someone who was also at the party?" "...Or maybe someone who knows his wife was at the party, and he wasn't expecting them, so he stumbled and called you a friend to keep your relationship covered up?" - Sherbet_Happy "NOR. This is incredibly strange. The only thing I can think of is who was there that he didn't want to know he is in a relationship?" "If I stuck around with a guy who couldn't be honest about your relationship, I would definitely insist on couples therapy. (But I wouldn't stick around. Life's too short for men who will lie about your relationship.)" - ABelleWriter "NOR. He called you a friend because he's hiding your relationship from them. Whether the reason is that he's interested in someone at the party or because his friends have met a different woman they know to be his girlfriend doesn't matter." "He's he's lying about how seriously he views the relationship." - Which-Month-3907 "He is cheating on you… He has someone else, and they know… or this was a joke to see how far you would take it…" "Either way, he is for the streets, because no man that loves, wants, and is proud to be with you would ever want to introduce you as a friend… He is trying to gaslight you and make you smaller than you deserve… MOVE ON." - theinvisiblewoman704 "Was there any PDA at the party? Did he hold your hand, did he hug you (in a boyfriend-girlfriend way, not a friend way)? IF no, then yeah, a lot of folks hit it on the head; there's someone there that he didn't want to know about you." "Either a girl he is or wants to see, or a friend that would react to YOU being his GF (because he has another one? )" "Some BIG red flags here, big. You need to know before it goes any further. Have you met any of these friends before (you said yes) and are you always 'just a friend'?" "If he's not hiding anything, and that's always a possibility, then you are about to move in with a complete id**t. Not only does he devalue you, and your relationship, but he doesn't understand when you explained it to him after AND then tried to make it about how you embarrassed him." "What about how he embarrassed you by introducing you as just a friend? There's something going on here." - Ok-Heron8017 Some urged the OP to walk away from this "friendship" before she wasted any more time. "'Hey, it’s been good getting to know you, and I’ve enjoyed our time, but I’m no longer interested in maintaining this friendship. What I originally thought was mutual goals, I now know we are on different paths. Wishing you all the best in the future.'" "Then just… block. NOR, but also maintain your self-respect." - Ready-Conflict-1887 "Just ghost him. You don’t have to break up with him because you’re just friends, not more. NOR." - Dubbiely "NOR. You can't do relationship drama if you are only his friend. (You should've told him this.) Let this boy be an immature pr**k alone. You can do better, sis!" - Former-Heart9249 "NOR! Leave him be. If he doesn’t understand where you’re coming from on this, then that shows you even more than the 'friend' statement that you two may not be right for each other." "If you two were in your early twenties or younger, maybe there is reason to explain yourself further, but he’s almost 30 and should know better after you told him how you feel, but he doubled down and said you overreacted. That’s bulls**t!" - Embarrassed-Safe7939 "NOR. He is majorly gaslighting you. I suggest you rethink your future with him unless you want to be treated poorly for the duration of the relationship. If you were my daughter, I’d tell you to break up with him right away." - Ahoytherematey561 "Girl. He embarrassed himself. It absolutely matters what he calls you. And it’s not normal to do this. Do not put up with this gaslighting bulls**t." "I’d get rid of him, to be honest. It’s only been a year, and he already doesn't care how he makes you feel? Do you want a lifetime of this kind of stupid crap?" - RoHatfield83 The subReddit was totally on the OP's side, regardless of the boyfriend's reasoning. If he was going to date her for a year and a half and even explore marriage with her, the least he could do was give her a proper introduction. Because of that, many thought that the boyfriend might have more than one relationship, perhaps even a marriage, in play, and he didn't want someone at the party discovering that he identified the OP as his long-term girlfriend, which could jeopardize his other relationship. But there was a possibility, too, that he was just that careless and oblivious, and the OP deserved better than to move in with someone like that. --- ### Woman Rejects Second Date After Guy Tries To Assign Her 'Homework' Before Their Next Meet Up **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/first-date-homework-reddit/.md Not everyone will be compatible in the dating world, and that's okay. Part of going on a first, and even second, date is figuring out if you see yourself staying with someone. Any number of reasons could arise for a relationship to not work out, from simply having too different of interests to finding out that someone is lying, side-eyed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit. Redditor Round-Worldliness192 was the last in her friend group to be single, and she was starting to feel "desperate" to find a partner. But when her latest first date not only seemed to lie during the date but also gave her homework, the Original Poster (OP) just wasn't interested, even though she really did want to find a boyfriend. She asked the sub: "Am I overreacting for rejecting a guy because he assigned me homework for our second date while we were on our first?" The OP's first date with a guy recently did not get off to a great start. "I went on a date with a guy who was otherwise OK, but there were already a few red flags." "For starters, he suggested a sports bar for the date; we found out there was over an hour and a half wait, and instead of suggesting somewhere else (I also suggested we go somewhere else), he had me stand around with him waiting for a table." The guy may not have been very honest with her, either. "There were also some inconsistencies in things he told me about his background that made me question his honesty." "It was silly. He said on his Hinge profile that he’s from Ontario (I thought Ontario, Canada, or Ontario, CA) and that he went to Berkeley for college and works in tech." "Turns out he’s from Ontario, NY, went to Berkeley College, and works in HVAC tech." "And there were some other small things, like him volunteering info about his parents being doctors but then three hours later saying his parents never went to college and own a takeout place." But then the OP was really turned off by the thought of receiving a homework assignment. "But the final straw was when he started planning our second date." "He wanted to take me to a Stranger Things-themed escape room, which is fine in itself, except he jokingly said he’s going to assign me homework beforehand: he wanted me to subscribe to Netflix and watch the first season of 'Stranger Things' before next week so I’d understand the theme before we went." "He also wanted to take me to this “upscale” restaurant before the escape room that is one step above Chipotle, which I’m not exactly excited about either. He said it’s super cool where they make the guacamole in front of you (sigh), but the guacamole is literally $12." "And, no, he did not ask if I liked any of those things. I’m a huge fan of documentaries, nonfiction, history (museums), etc. I also don’t subscribe to Netflix usually, but recently did to watch 'The Crown' and this Abe Lincoln documentary. I also like Mexican food, but he didn’t know that. He didn’t ask me questions." The OP felt conflicted about why she didn't want a second date. "I realized I was already dreading the second date and didn’t actually want to do any of this. So I told him I wasn’t interested." "Now I’m wondering… Am I overreacting for rejecting a guy partly because I didn’t want to be assigned homework to prepare for our second date? Or is this just another case of realizing you’re simply not compatible with someone?" "I'm 31, and most of my friends are married, so I’m desperate, but I feel like most dates make me feel brain dead." "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some reassured the OP that this was a pretty straightforward case of being incompatible with someone. "Just ain't compatible, Holmes, it happens. NOR." - TheBakedCheddar "NOR. Sometimes you just know you’re not compatible, and that's okay." - purpearlskook "He doesn't sound like a bad guy. I think the 'homework' thing was just him trying to connect with you on something, but rather than finding something you like, he was trying to push something he likes onto you." "Given that he's 38 and doing that, I'm assuming he's never been married, and if he has, then it didn't last long. Sounds like he needs to mature a bit and learn how to be more selfless." - psmak-4 "Who waits à hour and a half for a table at à sports bar? That’s ridiculous. I would’ve left right there." - Creative_Tone_9241 "You listed multiple things you didn't like and aren't even interested in seeing him again. That's all that matters." "Please take the time to address this desperation; it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself to want the second date because you don't want to be single anymore. That's not good." "Just because he's not a bad guy doesn't mean you have to want to see him again. You didn't even describe him as amazing, just 'otherwise okay,' and then listed multiple things you didn't like." "You shouldn't need strangers online to validate your decision to not see this guy again. Address that issue before getting into dating." - bloodmusthaveblood Others were much more concerned about the "few red flags" and "inconsistencies" that the OP mentioned. "'There were also some inconsistencies in things he told me about his background that made me question his honesty.' This seems like the most concerning part? Totally justified to walk away now." - Worried_Road4161 "The examples you gave, OP, are not 'inconsistencies.' These are bold-faced lies." "Please take a step back and stop panicking just because other people you know are getting married. When someone lies to you like this, they are not date material." - Gold-Sherbert-7550 "The lying is way more red flag territory than him making a dumb awkward joke about a subpar TV show and having s**t taste in guac!" - Cheap-Tig "My sister in Christ, that is a parade of red flags; he deliberately misled you about his background, and just straight up lied about his parents. You’re severely under-reacting to the fact he lied to you on a first date." - CombatCrayon25 "This sounds like a guy I went on a date with in college. He was nice and not pushy, but he was a pathological liar." "He didn’t talk about the same things more than once, but when he did, they weren’t quite the same, and they were also 'very impressive,' like, a bit unbelievably so for a college student in his late 30s (probably, assuming he lied about his age)." - agentpurpletie "Girl, he’s a liar. The kind that lies just to lie. Block him. NOR." - gin_and_soda Some also advised the OP to stop dating while "desperate" and to work on her mindset before going on a date, which would likely improve her prospects. "OP, NOR, but don’t date while desperate." - text_based_account "NOR. But girl, focus on addressing your desperation before settling for less than you're worth." - SomeClalMeMahm "NOR. Focus on you. No one can heal, solve, or make you whole. That's on you, and life ain't a race." - Organic-Tourist2202 "'Most of my friends are married, so I’m desperate' is a terrible mindset to be dating from. This sort of imaginary self-imposed pressure is how you end up giving controlling d-bags the time of day." "OP, this guy was testing you, checking how much you would put up with (long wait for a sub/standard place), whether you are obedient (giving you homework), etc." "He was testing boundaries, and you did the right thing, walking away." "But please do not date out of desperation. It gives men far too much power and will cloud your judgment. Marriage is not the only way to exist, and it is not a guarantee of fulfillment." - LeopoldineBel "NOR. He could have suggested watching the show together or something instead. And if you feel he isn’t honest about his life right off the bat, then trust your instincts." "You’re also 31. That’s young. Quit being desperate to fit in dumb social 'norms.' Your friends have their own lives, and so do you." - Madokakoti "Do not let 31 make you feel desperate. Choose with strength and purpose. No one tells you that it will ruin your life to settle, but it will." "Regardless: if you don’t want a partner giving you homework, then no, this is not your dude. I would take that homework, but that’s me." "If you’re standing on ceremony to be flirty (and no judgments, that is a thing), then perhaps you have a date to watch two episodes of it together and take it from there." - UrsulaMarigold The subReddit sympathized with the OP second-guessing herself, especially during a season when she felt like she needed to meet the right guy and start settling down, at least into a steady relationship. But the OP dismissed this guy as just "okay" and clearly didn't enjoy his interests, not to mention the potential lies in the stories he told on the first date. Finding a partner might be important, but a person can't suddenly drop their standards just because they're starting to feel a little older. --- ### Parent Irate When 'Basically Blind' Daughter Gets Hurt In Gym Class After Substitute Teacher Made Her Take Glasses Off **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/child-injured-glasses-gym-reddit/.md While safety measures are put into place for a reason, sometimes they decrease accessibility for certain disabilities and actually make injuries much more likely to occur. Most would view wearing glasses during a gym class as an accident waiting to happen, but they're a necessary tool for a child with impaired vision, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit. Redditor mbreteche's 11-year-old daughter was very nearsighted and dependent on her glasses to be able to see, to the point of being "basically blind" without them. When a substitute teacher forced her to take them off during gym class, which resulted in her being injured because of not being able to see well, the Original Poster (OP) was furious and wanted something to be done about the substitute teacher intervening in her health plan. They asked the sub: "Am I overreacting for being angry about my daughter being told to take her glasses off for PE (Physical Education class)?" The OP's daughter needed to have access to her glasses at all times. "My 11-year-old daughter is extremely nearsighted with a -8 prescription (minus eight), which means she is basically blind without her glasses and relies on them to see at all times." "She has a substitute PE teacher at the moment." "Earlier this week, she said she had been told to take her glasses off for PE. I was quite concerned about this and put a note in her communication book, saying she needs to wear them, as she has very limited vision without them." The substitute PE teacher did not listen to the parent's concerns. "But today I got notified that my daughter had collided with another student and has badly rolled her ankle." "Then I found out that she was made to play basketball without her glasses." "I’ve sent an angry email to the school because this is exactly what I was worried about." "The teacher’s defence for making her take them off is that they’re a safety risk, as they could fall off while running, get knocked off or broken if she collides with another child, and potentially injure her eyes or face." The OP demanded an explanation for what had happened to their daughter. "I find it extremely frustrating that the solution appears to have been to remove my daughter’s ability to see rather than to find a safe and sensible way for her to participate." "So I’ve demanded a written explanation of how this was considered a reasonable safety decision to ask a child who can barely see without her glasses to participate in PE without them, especially since I’ve already mentioned her needs specifically." "Am I overreacting and being a Karen about this? My partner seems to think so." "I’m not normally like this, but I find that the teacher and school aren’t taking my daughter’s visual impairment seriously." "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some reassured the OP that they were right to advocate for their daughter's health and safety. "NOR. Not a Karen. Fight for your girl." - MundaneAd8695 "I’m - 6 (minus six) and just felt RAGE reading this. NOR." - justpeachy14 "I'm a - 2 (minus two) and wore my glasses for every basketball game in school, every day in PE. Not a Karen! This is awful! NOR!" - Baking_Pan "Contact the school principal; it sounds like this teacher does not know what they are doing and I'm certain the principal would want to know. Taking off glasses in PE is ridiculous." "I'm a former elementary school PE teacher. NOR." - Grilled_Cheese10 "An ankle injury in your youth can f**k up your ankle for life. Glasses, however, can be replaced. NOR and not a Karen." "And to avoid this in the future, you could get her an 'athletic band' that attaches to her glasses to keep them on her face in PE." - Dry_Bowler_2837 "If OP is in the US this is almost certainly an ADA violation and contrary to section 504 and the school would be liable for any injuries due to extreme negligence particularly after this behavior by the teacher was objected to in writing." "OP should make an immediate written demand for a 504 plan (IEP) and an emergency meeting, escalate this issue to the district's 504 coordinator and can consider filing a complaint with the DoE office for civil rights for disability discrimination." "If OP's child required a doctors visit for the ankle OP could also consider consulting with a personal injury or education attorney." - Owain-X Others pointed out that a child needing glasses was no different than other disability aids that made physical education safer and more accessible to all students. "NOR. Holy s**t. Glasses became so widely available that people seem to forget that they're technically a disability aid, especially in cases like your daughters." "I'd argue that the risk to her safety was much higher without her glasses, which was, unfortunately, demonstrated by her injuries. She likely wouldn't have gotten hurt if she could, you know, see properly." "Stay on their necks. You're not a Karen; you're a parent doing right by their kid." - callmebuzzsaw "NOR. The glasses were treated like an optional accessory when they’re literally what allows her to see properly and the injury pretty much proved how unsafe that decision was." - Adept_Position_9461 "If fitted correctly, glasses shouldn’t come off during exercise anyway. I wear glasses while running and doing exercises that require bending my head forward (e.g., touch your toes). I have never had issues with my glasses falling off. This teacher and the school don't know what they're talking about." - Ilovesparky13 "This but they also make sports safety glasses that can fit right over the glasses she currently has. They’re designed to go over, have a strap to keep them tight, and the front part is shatterproof, so they protect both the eyes and the glasses. This is such a simple thing to provide for students that need them." "NOR." - Weeping_Willow_Wonka "This is not dissimilar to her not being allowed to use a mobility aid. She's blind without her glasses. She needs them. NOR." - Fine-Juggernaut8451 "This is the SAME as a Diabetic being told they need to give up the reader for their CGM (Continuous Glucose Monitor), or disconnect an insulin pump." "Or the same as telling a student with a prosthetic leg, that they have to take the leg off and hop instead, 'because they might trip and fall.'" - EmmerdoesNOTrepme "It’s an accommodation or assistive device for a DISABILITY. The fact that people don’t typically think of glasses that way doesn’t matter; especially for someone with severe vision impairment, glasses are a necessary assistive device. I think OP has a good case for denial of FAPE (a Free and Appropriate Public Education.)" - Positive-Garage3812 "Nahhh, the best bet is for that gym teacher to get a new profession. I've worn glasses most of my life and every gym class I ever attended. Just normal glasses. So did every single other child I went to school with who needed glasses." "This is a very common aid. And there's no evidence that OPs child is unable to keep their glasses on their face anyway." "No child should have to provide specialized expensive aids or be stripped of their vision. Come the f**k on." - M1ND4RO "The substitute teachers reasoning is completely backwards, as disabling a student’s vision directly causes the exact collision and injury they were foolishly trying to prevent." - Vexqlynt "Allowing someone to wear their glasses is a 'reasonable accommodation'. Use terms like this. Write a letter to the school. Have your daughter carry a similar letter in her backpack. It should say terms like 'accommodation' and 'request alternate activities.'" "Bring up Section 504 and request a meeting to draft a 504 plan that requires the school to let your child wear her glasses for all school activities. Once the plan is in place, any teacher or staff member who refuses to abid by it could find themselves in legal hot water because it becomes a violation of federal law." "NOR. Teachers at a school know this. I know this and I only worked childcare. The school's staff is being wildly unprofessional and opening themselves up to legal action. I bet their lawyers would love to hear about this. You might want to give them a call or send them an email about the situation." - Head_Somewhere4769 "Hon, I am a teacher at a - 6.5 (minus six-point-five), and it is HARD to navigate a bunch of kids when you can’t see them." "I have to change glasses during the day, and it’s a different world. I don’t know about your girl, but depth perception is really tough for me, and I would not under any circumstances play sports without my vision. I can barely get down the street without hitting anyone." "I’m not a PE teacher, but I have never heard of a kid being told to take their glasses off. Your kid’s assistive device was confiscated and she got injured because of it. Hardcore NOR." - wannabeomniglot This situation was one hundred percent a problem to the subReddit. Not only did the substitute teacher ignore the parent's concerns entirely and stick to their own plan, but their mistaken belief that wearing glasses during physical activity is unsafe injured the OP's daughter. Countless professional athletes wear glasses, and there are suitable alternatives, like assistive bands, sports-grade glasses, and goggles, that can be worn. If the teacher was so concerned about safety, taking away the child's ability to see should have been the last option. --- ### Woman Sparks Family Drama By Seeking To Sell Portion Of House She Inherited With Unstable Family Members **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/sparks-family-drama-reddit/.md Money can be a cruel bedfellow. It can be especially sinister after death. People don't play games with an inheritance. Wealth can rip families apart. Redditor u/DeluluYOYOK42 found herself in a dilemma regarding her family inheritance, so she turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback. Like AITA, the AITAH subreddit lets posters ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. She asked: "AITAH for refusing to keep my inheritance as a 'big happy family' property and wanting my share divided?" The original poster (OP) explained: "I (30 F) lost my dad when I was 5." "I have a 27 F sister, and our mom is in her 60s." "My dad’s side of the family is basically my aunt (his twin), her husband, and their children." "They have money, but they are incredibly dysfunctional." "Every single holiday, trip, or family occasion we spent with them growing up was the same: they would have massive fights with each other, often every day, and somehow my sister and I would always end up caught in the middle." "My sister especially would regularly end up crying." "As adults, we both avoid them as much as possible." "Despite my father, grandmother, and grandfather all having been doctors, my sister and I effectively inherited nothing when my father and later my grandmother died." "Two years ago my grandfather died." "This time, as adults, we were directly included in the inheritance." "We received nothing from his bank accounts because my mother and aunt told us they were basically empty." "What we did inherit were shares in four properties: one apartment in the city and three separate but adjoining summer houses by the sea." "My aunt owns 50%, and my sister and I own 25% each." "My aunt wants everything to stay jointly owned forever because apparently we are one 'big happy family.'” "In reality, my sister and I actively avoid spending time with them precisely because being together has meant arguments and drama our entire lives." "The problem is that my aunt uses the summer properties all summer, decides when we can go and which house we can stay in, and recently told me I couldn’t invite friends to a property I literally partly own." "That was my breaking point." "My husband is a lawyer, so I asked him to start looking into valuations and a possible division of the properties." "They are separate houses, so an actual division seems perfectly possible." "My aunt went ballistic." "My mother has been asking me almost daily to drop it and leave everything as it is." "My uncle initially acted reasonably, then basically said division was fine as long as my aunt got the best properties." "My sister agrees with me, although she is scared my aunt will take it out on our mother." "My husband is now getting professional valuations." "Since I refused to back down, my mother has almost stopped speaking to me." "She used to call me up to twice a day, very often because she needed some favor; now I hear from her maybe once a week." "My aunt is telling my cousins that because of me there will no longer be this mythical 'big happy family house.'” "My cousin has also made comments more than once along the lines of, 'I would have liked to inherit something too, but unfortunately I’m not in the succession.'” "Which was a pretty incredible thing to say to two people who are inheriting because their father is dead, while hers is very much alive." "My sister wanted to eat her alive." "My first thought was that if she is that eager to inherit, unfortunately there is only one way to qualify." "At this point I’m also considering contacting my grandfather’s banks myself to understand whether his accounts really were virtually empty when he died." "Given that my grandparents were both doctors with good pensions, and after three deaths my sister and I have somehow inherited essentially no money, I’m starting to feel stupid for never asking questions." The OP was left to wonder: "AITA for pushing for a legal division of the properties and considering investigating what actually happened to my grandfather’s money instead of giving in to my family and keeping everything jointly owned?" Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here. "You need to find out who the executor of the estate is; they have to provide you with the details." "And you shouldn't be inquiring directly; have your husband do it as a lawyer." "There's some dirty dealings here." ~ PolkaDotDancer "I am so proud of you for going forward in this." "People are going to say horrible things to you and try to disown you and everything bad that you can think of, but you better stick to your guns and get what's yours." "I think you are spot on that they emptied his bank accounts in those last few months/weeks." "These sound like some incredibly entitled people who are awful to deal with." "Get what's yours and then bounce and live your life happily." ~ MastodonUpper6998 "This sounds really shady." "You absolutely need to continue with the investigation." "If your mother and aunt stole the money, they wouldn't want you to know about it." "You are NTA here." "Your aunt and mother are." ~ Antique-diva "Your mum needs to have you back rather than being a doormat to your bully aunt. NTA." ~ angelicak92 "If the properties can legally be divided, I don’t see why you should keep everything jointly owned just to preserve the illusion of a 'big happy family.'” "You’re entitled to know what happened to your grandfather’s money and to have your share properly accounted for." "And your cousin making comments about wanting to inherit while her own parent is still alive is certainly something." "What’s your aunt’s problem?" "She thinks she’s entitled to use the property all summer and decide when everyone else can go, but you can’t even invite your own friends?" "She’s basically trying to maintain control over a property that you’re also entitled to." "The whole situation sounds suspicious to me." "I think you should do whatever you can to get to the bottom of it: contact the banks, gather every document and detail, and figure out exactly what happened to the money." "You need to know everything from start to finish, especially if this eventually becomes a legal matter, because having all the facts and documentation beforehand could help you a lot. NTA." ~ Specific-Sherbet-601 "You absolutely need to have the estates audited." "She sees herself as her twin's successor, so you can't blindly trust her." "Keep in mind auditing accounts and splitting properties is completely normal and average." "Declaring happy families don't do that just isn't true and is a ridiculous misdirect." "She is openly saying she owns the properties and the supposedly empty accounts." "Keep the focus on that, and that clearly professionals need to sort it out since she can't. NTA." ~ concretism "No, girl, that’s not how it works; your aunt needs to get a reality check." "She’s not just 'playing family' here; she’s potentially taking inherited property that belongs to you and your siblings and keeping it within her own control." "You’re her brother’s children, so you have a right to your share just as much as she does." "She needs to understand that." "Contact everyone involved, dig into every document and transaction, and find out exactly where everything went." "I’m pretty sure there’s more to this than what you’ve been told." ~ Specific-Sherbet-601 "You're 30, and she doesn't pay your bills." "This mentality that I will always be 'a child' is the reason I'm no contact with most of my family." "And I told my mom that if she insisted on this dynamic, then I will go no contact with her as well." "NTA." ~ Aggressive_Cup8452 "You are absolutely right, in my opinion, to proceed with legal recourse." "Your peace of mind has value, too." "Divide the estate up while it is relatively easy." "Once your aunt goes, then you will have to deal with her children." "The more heirs there are, the more complicated things get." "And yes, I would check out the bank accounts." "Since you don’t seem to have much family unity (and your relatives seem to want to take advantage of you), a little more disharmony isn’t going to make things much worse." ~ TrebleClef4 "I would honestly keep digging and find out exactly what you are owed and what was actually given to you." "I'd go as far as to investigate what your father should have left to you as well, since you and your sisters seem to be his only children." "There should have been something." "And I'm so curious as to why your mother is siding with your aunt rather than protecting you." "Do you think your aunt gave her money meant for you and your sister? NTA." ~ JustAsICanBeSoCruel "NTA - hit the red button and get a rundown of all the financials." "Your mother and your aunt are obviously hiding something about the bank accounts." "Good job your hubby is a lawyer!" "Also, I’d clearly point out to your aunt and your mother the myth of 'big happy family'; summarize that every time you’ve been in their orbit, there’s been a daily blow-up argument." "Once this is over, go no contact with your Aunt." ~ Jonathan-Welford Stand your ground, OP. Reddit is onto your Aunt. It's always good to ask questions. Sorry for all of your loss. Good Luck. --- ### Woman Instantly Regrets Asking Boyfriend To Bully Her With Brutally Honest 'Weight Loss Motivation' **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/weight-loss-motivation-reddit/.md Giving someone weight loss "advice" is tricky. Even when people ask for it, it's never easy to give. Weight is a personal and sometimes emotionally volatile subject. Oftentimes, advice can feel like shame. Redditor u/hanamaria777 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally, he came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. He asked: "AITA for giving my girlfriend the harsh weight loss motivation she asked for who is now upset that I gave it?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "My GF has been wanting to lose weight for a while." "She's not even overweight at all; she just doesn’t eat healthy or take care of herself, which I don’t mind, but it’s important to her, and I want her to be healthy." "I couldn’t care less about how she looks, and she looks completely normal." "She took up a routine for two weeks, then gave up and told me to leave it whenever I brought it up again." "I respected her wishes." "Today, she was complaining about her weight again and said she doesn’t know why she’s not losing any, and I said, 'Can I be honest?'” "Which she replied to with, 'Yes, please be harsh; I need you to be mean and bully me into this.'” "The following is what I sent her in a text message..." ”Okay, well then, if you want me to be honest, then here: you have taken no initiative even to lose weight; you quite literally just gave up after three weeks, calling every single day a cheat day.'" "'I tell you all the time to work out for at least thirty minutes, 5 or more days a week, but I am a little confused if, when you DO work out, you’re even doing anything because you can barely speed-walk for one minute to my car in the mall parking lot- but somehow you can do an effective workout 'easy,' as you say?'" "That shouldn’t be happening if you’re doing them long enough and correctly.'" "There’s no such thing as cheat meals every day; it’s all just excuses and justifications your brain makes to make you feel less bad about not doing what you said you were going to do, because honestly, you’re not even on a diet, even though you claim to be.'" "'You order fast food almost every day despite me saying that I will be cooking dinner most days."' "'You gave up on yourself but are complaining about it.'" "'And I know you’re busy with work, and so am I, but I still find an hour to go to the gym every day despite working 10 hours daily.'" "'With the amount of time I see you spend scrolling on social media and complaining about food, you could be going to the gym.'" "'I know this sounds harsh, but I am giving you exactly what you asked from me.'" "You know I love you more than anything and love you exactly how you are.'" "'I’m doing this so YOU can feel more confident and healthy.'" "She is now very upset with me and says I was being too harsh despite her asking me to 'borderline bully her' for motivation." "I am so confused right now." The OP was left to wonder: "Was I being an a**hole in that message?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Many Redditors declared that OP WAS the a**hole. "That was a character assassination; how could you read that before sending it and think it was motivational?" "You didn't say one positive thing. YTA." ~ Secret_Manager8161 "Yeah, most people only know 'discipline motivation' from coaches who were just aholes and used that as a deflection." "Harsh but fair is an art, and OP basically just used it as cover for a diatribe." "Positives and direction are essential, and OP seemingly gave neither." ~ juanzy "I agree, this was not motivating at all; he just aired out the laundry list of every single negative thing he's noticed (and apparently memorized) that she's done or not done." "She sounds like a real lazy piece of work and thinks talking about and acting are the same thing, and yes, I would get sick of listening to her, but no way he had to go down the checklist of every single thing she's tried and failed at since the dawn of time." "He could have dipped his toe into the shallow end of the pool by mentioning one or two things, but noooooo... he had to go nuclear option right off the bat." ~ jasperjonns "YTA. Next question." "Why would you, in your right mind, accept any request to be disrespectful to your girlfriend?" ~ ichigopomu "YTA... because that should have been an in-person conversation, not a text message." "Voice, tone, emotion, and compassion are all lost over text." "If you had made this a conversation, you probably would have been cut off after the third sentence, and you could then reel in the intensity a bit." "Just because someone thinks they want 'the brutal truth' doesn't mean that's what they actually want." ~ Loshi777 "I mean, what did you think was going to happen when you hit send?" "If you truly want to help her, offer criticism constructively and give some positive encouragement along with it." "For someone who says his GF isn’t carrying any extra weight and you don’t care if she diets, you sure do have a laundry list of critical observations to unload on her, though." ~ shrimpandshooflypie "YTA. You can be honest." "This is literally my field at work." "When people ask me to be honest, I don’t just go straight for the throat." "It’s a simple 'You aren’t being consistent with your diet and exercise. You need to start by changing one small thing: 15 minutes of bodyweight exercises and walking a day, and one less day of takeout, and slowly pile on the victories,' which addresses the same issues but doesn’t feel like a character assassination." "You make it sound like you 'Don’t care,' but based on the tone there’s some obvious pent-up feelings here." "So yes, you’re T A." "When someone wants your honest opinion, you don’t need to write a thesis." ~ basroil "Gonna say YTA." "'I’m doing this so YOU can feel more confident and healthy.' "I don't see how that message could possibly make anyone feel motivated or positive towards their health." "You just sent her a rant." "If someone tells you to 'bully' them... just don't. It's never needed." "You basically just took out all your frustrations with her in one message." "And the way you worded some of it comes across pretty nasty..." 'I am a little confused: if, when you DO work out, you’re even doing anything because u can barely speed-walk for one minute to my car in the mall parking lot- but somehow you can do an effective workout 'easy' as you say?'" "Was this needed?" "Could you not just have said, 'maybe you need a more effective workout, such as seeing a PT or going to some exercise classes.'" "Did you need to insult her because she doesn't 'speed walk'?" "Also... 2-3 weeks might simply not be long enough to see a weight shift." "Women get some mad fluctuations." ~ happybanana134 "YTA. 1st of all, dumb to send it in a text message, which she can read for months or the rest of her life, even instead of having b*lls to just say it to her face where she can get over it quickly." "Then you sent her a long-as* essay bashing her instead of the 2-3 sentences max that was needed." "Why the hell did you need to go on so long?" ~ Proper_Hunter_9641 "YTA because nothing you said was actually helpful or motivating." "It sounds like you heard your GF give you a pass to be cruel, and you couldn't wait to use it." "Also, 'I don't care about her looks, I just want her to be healthy' is almost always bullsh*t." "Maybe you should give yourself a dose of this brutal honesty you're so eager to serve to her." ~ Sad-Contribution2134 "Never be honestly harsh with someone you care about, even when they insist on it." "99% of the time, it will backfire on you, and you’ll end up with a foot in your mouth." ~ rainbowchid "Also, why are you doing this through text, where she can read this over and over, share it with her friends, and ruminate about it?" "YTA. Communicate like an adult." ~ MarsupialsRule OP had some updates... "Yes, I am autistic, yes I truly think she is beautiful just the way she is." "She was asking me to be mean after months of me being softly 'motivational' about it and it not working, so I thought if I was mean, maybe I was finally giving her what she needed." "No, I do not think this is low of her; I just tried to be extra rude, given it is exactly what she asked me to do." "In the past, she has gotten upset at me for not doing enough or being harsh enough when mentioning she wants to lose weight." "I have refused to say anything of this sort up until today because I do not want to hurt her." "She would constantly tell me that she needs someone to be mean to her about it, and I LITERALLY have said: 'I’m not going to be that person.'" Reddit has some issues with your choices, OP. Hard truths can still be delivered with some grace. Maybe next time try to ease her into your thoughts. Good Luck. --- ### Parent Berated By Husband For Intentionally Making Bath Water For Autistic Son Too Warm So He'll Get Out Sooner **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/autistic-son-bath-reddit/.md Childcare can be shared by parents, but often falls on only one. When the child is disabled, the care required may become all-consuming. A mother of an autistic child turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after being criticized by her husband for her care strategy. Chessicasimpson asked: "AITA for intentionally making my son’s bath water too warm?" The original poster (OP) explained: "The first thing I want to say is that I’m NOT making the water too hot. It’s not even uncomfortably hot. I’m not hurting him; I just know the exact temperature he likes, and I make it slightly warmer." "My son is 10, and has profound autism. He is the light of my life, and my reason for living. However, raising him is extremely difficult. One of his major fixations is taking baths. He will take up to 15 or more baths per day (his doctor said it’s fine)." "Even though he’s 10, he still can’t be unsupervised at any time, especially in the bath. So I have to sit with him in the bathroom every time he takes a bath. Sometimes it’s really hard for me, if I’m trying to get housework done or cook, to have to sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes with him." "But if I rush him out, he gets upset and stays upset for hours. But I noticed that if I make the water a little bit warmer than he likes, he will want to get out on his own a lot sooner. I don’t do it very often." "But today I am really sick with the flu, and I had bad body aches, I was shivering any time I left my blankets. So I made the water a little warmer, and he got out after about 7 minutes instead of 20." "For some reason, cooler doesn’t seem to work, because he loves cold water. So he’ll just stay in it even longer if I let him and turn into a fish." "When my husband came home from work and asked how everything went, I told him how sick I’d been all day, and about making his water warmer so I didn’t have to sit in there so long." "My husband was really irritated with me about it, and said it’s basically abuse to do that to a special needs child. I tried to explain that I am overwhelmed because I have no help with our son." "My husband is never the one to sit in the bathroom with him at 4:00 in the morning so everyone else can sleep without our son screaming and waking everyone up. I haven’t slept past 3:00 am in years, because that’s when our son wakes up and he can’t be alone for his own safety." "Nobody can handle watching him even for a couple hours, so the only break I ever get is when my husband or my dad takes him on long drives which he loves sometimes. But he doesn’t always want to do that, sometimes it upsets him, so even that doesn’t happen very often." "My husband still insists that’s wrong to do. I made sure to clarify that the water is not hot; it’s just slightly warmer than he likes. I’m not hurting him. Basically, getting in the tub calms him down and makes him happy, but it doesn’t matter if he’s in it for 2 minutes or 30 minutes; he will still be calmed down and happy from it, unless I rush him out." "He has to get out of his own volition, or he’ll be more upset than he was to begin with. So basically he still gets the soothing of a bath, but I cut the time I have to sit in the bathroom by half." "And I don’t do it all the time." "My husband says it’s like manipulating him, because he’s special needs and can’t figure out that I’m 'tricking him'; and it’s wrong to use his disability for my own advantage. He said his life is hard enough without 'ruining' the enjoyment he gets from a bath." "So, AITA? I’ve been feeling awful all day about it." OP later added: "It is pretty new behavior for him to criticize the way I parent him. Usually he is telling me what a good job I’m doing, and complimenting how well I handle everything. Which is why I was so concerned that maybe he was right, because he normally doesn’t say things like that." "I’m not sure where it’s coming from. I know he feels really bad for our son, and is extremely bothered by all the things he can’t do. He hates when he’s not treated the same as other kids because of his disability and inability to talk." "So I don’t know if it’s coming from a place of like, 'that only works because he’s not capable of figuring out what you’re doing, even though he’s ten and should be able to figure it out' and so it bothers him more because it’s another reminder that he is developmentally still closer to a toddler that can easily be 'tricked'." "That’s how I ended up feeling about it anyway, after our conversation, that’s how he made me feel about it. Like feeling sorry for him because he’s such a big kid but it’s still so easy to 'trick' him, and probably always will be…" Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "As an autistic person myself, NTA. And your husband needs to step up and take some of the load off of you. He can manage some of the 3am shifts so you can sleep in. It's obvious you're burned out and running on fumes. You need a break." ~ NearMissCult "From one Mom to another…I see you Hon! And,I notice that you have generally refrained from commenting on the many, many suggestions that you take some time for yourself by temporarily handling over your son’s care to either your husband, or a trained aide, a school, etc..." "I know you love him with every fiber of your being, and you have his best interests at heart, and that nobody understands him as well as you, and that he needs you. I suspect that your son is not the only person who needs you, and that you used to define yourself as other than his caregiver." "You would be giving your son his VERY best chance at a fulfilling life by reaching out for some kind of help. I know Easter Seals even does home therapy for Autism. Considering help for your son does not mean he’s a burden and should never induce guilt… how could he be, he’s your special little dude! Momma, you could never be the A. NTA." ~ Push_the_button_Max "NTA. Your husband calling a slightly warm bath 'abuse' while doing almost zero of the around-the-clock supervision for a child taking 15 baths a day is infuriatingly out of touch." ~ Spectre_Omega "Wow that pisses me off so much.'Abuse' is the worst thing one parent can accuse another parent of, and unless he walks a mile in your shoes caring after your (and his) son, he better shut his mouth without some actual issue that may be happening. Not 'slightly warmer' water." "Like is this new behaviour for him, doubting your parenting? You need help and he needs to be told that this is unacceptable. By you AND an objective therapist or something. Like....what the actual hell. ~ LiveKindly01 "Right? Just because OP might be better at calming him, doesn't make it her sole responsibility. She's probably better at calming him because she *has* to be because nobody else is doing it and there's nobody else to fall back on." "If it was dad's responsibility with nobody to rescue him, I bet he'd work it out way faster. OP needs a break and dad needs to start lifting his weight." "Also they absolutely need to try and find a day respite that works, because it's no good for the kid either if their main carer burns out. It might not be an ideal respite, and it might even be upsetting for the kid, but you still have to try." "Because it's way more distressing if there is a sudden breakdown and there are no other alternatives already arranged and nobody else who knows what the kid prefers and what his needs are." ~ trowzerss "What would be his solution to this problem if he doesn't want to do it himself? Because you can't keep helping your son have 15 baths a day forever!" ~ lydiarose_ "The problem isn't you, the problem is that this is too much for you to deal with on your own. If you are sick, your husband should be taking time off to care for you and your son, not just leaving you in the lurch." ~ everdishevelled "Sounds like your husband needs to do one of the nighttime baths in the middle of the night since it’s no big deal." ~ rjc3banco OP provided a small update: "A lot of people are saying my husband needs to take over some of the nighttime/early morning baths. I think I’m going to suggest it, and not in like a petty way, in like a seriously please take this over for me way." "Even if he doesn’t do it, I think maybe just the suggestion would maybe be enough to make him think twice about critiquing something he doesn’t want to do himself." One thing is clear: OP needs help. And they're not getting it from their husband. If he can critique her, then he can take over for her. --- ### Woman Berated For Excluding Friend From Group Gift After She Never Paid For The Last One **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/excluded-group-gift-reddit/.md Group gifts can be a great idea for milestone events. Instead of a lot of small gifts, the group can all pitch in to afford something more significant. The problem comes when people agree to pay a share of the cost, then don't. A woman turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after a friend failed to repay them for a group gift. AniTimeAniPlace asked: "AITA for leaving my friend out of a group gift after she never paid her share of the last one?" The original poster (OP) explained: "So I (28, female) am usually the one who organizes stuff in our friend group. Birthdays, trips, whatever." "In March, it was our friend Mel's 30th and I had the idea to get her concert tickets + a hotel night for her favorite band since she's been talking about seeing them forever. It came out to $480 total and there's 8 of us so $60 each. I paid upfront and made a group chat for everyone to send me there share." "Everyone paid within like a week except 'Kayla' (29, female). She said she'd send it Friday, then after her next paycheck, then she 'forgot' and would do it 'this weekend for sure'. I reminded her twice and then honestly gave up bc it felt weird to keep chasing someone over $60." "Then at Mel's party, Kayla stood up and gave this whole speech about how 'we all put our heads together' and how she just KNEW Mel would love it. Mel was crying, everyone was clapping. I just stood there holding my drink lol. I never got the $60." "Fast forward to now. Another friend, Sam, is turning 30 next month and we're doing something similar. This time I just made the group chat without Kayla in it. I didn't say anything to anyone, I just didn't add her. I figured I'm not fronting money for her again and I didn't want to make a whole thing out of it." "Well, she found out yesterday, because one of the girls mentioned the chat by accident. Kayla called me really upset and said I was excluding her on purpose and that it's embarrassing to be the only one not on the card." "I told her honestly that she never paid for Mel's gift and I didn't want to cover her again." "She said, 'It's not about the money; it's about being included,' and that I should have just told her instead of going behind her back. She also said she would 'obviously' have paid if I reminded her one more time." "One of our friends thinks I should have just added her and asked for the money upfront this time instead of making it a thing. I kind of get that, but I also feel like I already did my part." "So AITA?" Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "I mean, did she follow up by immediately paying you?" ~ Usual_Trash5197 "Right? Bet $10 she still hasn't sent a dime for the first one." ~ tyvzyntis "She had all that energy to complain about being excluded, but still couldn't send the $60 right then and there.. Says it all." ~ BrilliantAroma "NTA it sucks to be the organiser, no one understands how much effort goes in." ~ longtimewatcher "NTA it’s easy for her to say it’s not about the money when she’s the one who owes it." ~ MageVicky "NTA. Tell her that if she pays you the $60 she still owes you, then you’ll include her going forward. And, going forward, PSA in chat (for every activity/event) should say that anyone who doesn’t pay on X date shall be removed from the list /activity. Keep a running tally in the chat of who have/have not paid." ~ Smurfiette "And keep the tally visible on the group chat so everyone can see who has and hasn't paid." ~ LininOhio "I'd collect the money before paying for the gift. That way no one's fronting for everyone." ~ LilShir "NTA. This is great advice. We usually create a Google Sheet with the info and share it in the group so people can tick a box when they pay and then the organizer ticks another box when they receive the money. Also, we include in this doc the links of the things we buy to make everythifn crystal clear." ~ ohhhnonotagain "No. She still didn't offer to pay you what she owed you, did she?" ~ Chemical-Ad6809 "Has been reminded one more time (via this incident)….and still has not paid. Regardless — you’re not her personal assistant. It’s not your job to remind her. If she wants to be included, she can pay in a timely manner. Otherwise, she can organise her own gift. NTA." ~ smallishbear-duck "Tell that friend who thinks you should've added her that they can plan the next one, front everyone, and then have their friends shirk their commitments to them and force a chase. Honestly - I would've made a whole stink about it. 'This will be the cost, I will purchase once everyone has paid their part. Since last time I was left chasing Kayla for weeks and still she hasnt paid her part. I am not the IRS or a debt collector thug. I do not want to have to chase down my friends for something they should be respectful enough to do of their own accord'. If by a certain date not everyone pays, you send everyone their money back and everyone buys their own gift." ~ PhraseSuitable91 "NTA, she can pay you what she owes + Sam’s gift, and then you can add her to group chat so she can get credit. Clout chasing like this is awful especially when it comes at your expense. She owes you an apology as well." ~ CuriousTsukihime "I agree, you already did your part, and honestly, remind her one more time? Get real! NTA ~ Fast-Aside-8732 "Right, especially for someone who is approaching 30 YEARS OLD. This isn't a child, but a grown woman who is responsible for her own financial situation and ensuring ALL of her financial commitments are being met." "If she couldn't afford the 60, she should have been up front in the first place, if she can afford it, but doesnt want to pay, she should have just said. This is just pure entitled laziness on her part." ~ Environmental_Art591 "The thing that gets me is the speech. She didn't just skip paying, she stood up and took credit for a gift she had zero financial part in. That's not forgetfulness, that's someone who figured out she could grab the social reward without doing the work. You already reminded her twice and she still didn't pay. NTA." ~ BudgetBirthday9455 "There are only so many times you should be expected to bang your head on the wall to get repaid. If other friends in the group think some slack needs to be given, they can step right up and front the money for her. She chose not to repay you, and that had a consequence. You are within your rights to decide how you were comfortable handling it, and she doesn’t have to like it. NTA." ~ TravelDaze "NTA. Some people do this almost bullying thing because they know if they kick up enough of a fuss that people won't want to stand up to them. I would tell the rest of your friend group that they're more than welcome to take over for the collections next time. Like the old saying: 'fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me'." ~ canvasshoes2 "NTA. Tell her, 'Mel, You have now been reminded that one more time that would cause you to "surely" pay what you owe me. And yet you STILL haven't paid me. That makes - what? - at least SEVEN times that you have been reminded to do your part to "BE INCLUDED". I dunno. That makes me think you don't want to be included'." "Tell that one friend who has inserted their opinion on how to have handled Mel's non-payment, that you have considered their perspective and are happy to include them in resolving things so that Mel can be included and you don't have to chase her for her share." "Friend can take over fronting the money for group expenses and then collecting from everyone. Most everyone can be counted on to pay, and friend can simply 'ask Mel for the money up front'." "Friend can pay their own share PLUS Mel's share and then collect from Mel as quickly as Mel is willing and able to pay them back.If neither of those options is anything friend wants to take on, then they don't get to tell you how to handle a task they are not willing to take on." ~ swillshop "NTA because I don’t see you saying anywhere that she also sent you the money right away during that call and apologized profusely while saying she’s such a ditz and forgets stuff in like 5 minutes." ~ fsmontario "First off, not the a**hole. But I would do things differently. For a good friend, I believe in giving them a heads up and being honest about what you're doing." "Cause like, let's be honest, OP was kinda hoping for a reaction when Kayla found out she wasn't included. She wanted a gotcha moment, and got it. But a good friend I wouldn't do that to." "Maybe someone I don't really care much about, or a casual acquaintance or something from sure." ~ Zap__Dannigan "NTA. I mean now she could have taken the opportunity to finally pay you back, but I’m guessing in her little tantrum of not being included she still hasn’t." ~ Crafty_Special_7052 OP was more than patient and reminded Kayla more than once. If Kayla doesn't pay for a gift, she's not part of that gift. --- ### Woman Calls Out 'Disrespectful' Cousin For Generating Song About Late Grandma Using AI **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/generating-song-grandma-reddit/.md AI is EVERYWHERE! There is no longer a way to escape it. It isn't the future; it is the present. AI seems to be a part of everything... even grief. This doesn't go over well with everybody. Redditor Sad-Photograph-1577 found herself in a dilemma regarding her cousin's tribute to their deceased grandmother, so she turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback. Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. She asked: "AITAH for yelling at my cousin for generating an AI song about our dead grandmother?" The original poster (OP) explained: "I (20 F) went to my cousin (40 M)'s birthday party the other day, only for the food and to see my aunt." "This cousin comes from the wealthier side of my family; his aunt and uncle are college graduates and real estate owners." "Regardless, while we were eating, he went around with his phone to show people a 'song' he 'made.'" "My grandmother passed away around 10 years ago, from natural causes, after years of being paralyzed due to a stroke." "It was a tough time for everybody in the family." "He prompted a song with AI about our deceased grandmother's journey immigrating from Vietnam." "As in, pretty much all he did was go to some music-making app, type in 'Generate a song about an old Vietnamese woman's journey to America.'" "And that's it." "He then went around the room to show everyone, one by one, the thing he 'made,' with an AI-generated image of my grandma as a caricature for the image of the video." "His dad/my uncle (65 M) was hyping it up, saying it was 'incredible' and whatever else." "The lyrics were on the same tier as 'We Are Charlie Kirk,' only in Vietnamese." "I only listened to the song once." "In any case, when he came to show me, I told him I wasn't interested and tried to back off." "But he kept showing it to me." "So, I told him it was stupid and lazy." "He said, 'But I had to type in the instructions,' to which I said that isn't difficult at all, and he just dismissed me." "There were only words." "My mother said I overreacted, but I just find it very disrespectful to generate a generic AI song about the most beloved member of the family." "Especially because he said he 'wrote' it." "I have written songs with lyrics for friends before, so I suppose I have a bit of bias towards using AI to generate songs." "And using our deceased grandmother as the subject felt wrong." The OP was left to wonder: "So... AITAH?" Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors went back and forth about whether or not OP was or was not the A**hole here. "NTA, don't know why so many people are making a big deal of your ''only went for the food and to see my aunt' comment." "Sometimes you don't really vibe with a family member, and you still do things with them because of the rest of the family." "And I would probably have the same reaction to gen ai content about a grandparent." ~ JTheMostlyHuman "NTA. Ask him if he considers himself a chef when using a kiosk at McDonald's to 'design' the contents of his burger/order." ~ MythsandLaur "NTA. You didn’t go out of your way to call him out." "He came to you and wouldn’t leave you alone until you paid attention." "And it’s absolutely a dishonor to your grandmother’s memory to use AI (which STEALS bits and pieces from other peoples’ art) to slap together something he didn’t make himself." "Does he really have no great memories or sentiments that he could use?" "Nothing from the heart at all?" "And an AI generated image of her for the cover???" "The final spit in the face is that he didn’t even have a real picture of her to use." "Shows how much he really cares." "Also, it doesn’t matter what you went for." "You were invited because they wanted you there for some reason or other." "You didn’t have to show up at all." "I don’t know why people are getting stuck on this." ~ PinkySparklez "NTA. I have a real problem with generative AI being used for this slop." "It makes me sick." "There are hundreds or thousands of legitimate uses for AI, but this, and stealing other works of art, are despicable." ~ Repulsive-Box5243 "YTA. He used a commonly available tool to make a little tribute to your mutual beloved dead grandma, and you had to make a point of shi**ing on it, ostensibly because he took too much credit and it wasn't a lyrical masterpiece, but in reality probably because you have a bug up your butt about being on the 'I hate AI' train." "It would have been polite and even a little compassionate to just give him three minutes of your life, listen to the lame song, and say something like 'What a neat idea, Bruce; I'll bet Grandma would have enjoyed that.'" "It wouldn't have killed you to be kind." "After all, it was his birthday party; even though you were really only there to see someone else, you should have been planning to spend a couple of minutes with the guest of honor, anyway." ~ MotelTheTailor1903 "You need to get a grip." "Also a bit selfish of you to turn up to his birthday just to eat food and see other people. YTA." ~ New-Horizon-4127 "YTA. I'm totally on the side of f**k generative AI, but everyone grieves in their own way." "This was his birthday and, already from the beginning, you were only going there for food and then proceeded to sh*t on him for something that made him and other family members happy." "My mom recently took a bunch of photos for her birthday, and her sister put them all into AI to cartoonify them." "This made my mom happy, but I obviously was not pleased with it—especially with being an artist and graduating art school—however, it made my mom happy." "I would be the a**hole sh*tting on it because it would ruin her happiness, on her birthday no less." "I kept my mouth shut, said nothing about it, and we moved on, even after being asked about it." "This song, despite being no effort crap sh*t out by a robot, made your family happy and you proceed to call the person, on their birthday, essentially lazy and stupid." "Had you just said, 'Sorry, I can't support AI' or had you said this on any other day that wasn't his birthday (that you yourself already said you didn't want to go to, to celebrate him) then you wouldn't be the a**hole." ~ Zachary_Shadow "Nah, OP is NTA." "The cousin wouldn't leave him be; not everyone has to like something." "Sure, everyone grieves differently, but the cousin pushed, and when he got an answer he didn't like, his panties got in a bunch." "That's not on OP." "I'm on OP's side, the cousin shouldn't have claimed he made a song when it was all AI." ~ New-Novel-7948 "YTA. Honestly everyone remembers everyone in their own way." "Your cousin is 20 years older than you, which means they had much more time with their grandmother." "The fact your grandmother died 10years ago, and they still hold onto them enough to remember their grandmother, shouldn't affect you." "To them they may be preserving the memory of her they refuse to let go." "Just becaused they used a tool in a way they couldn't do previously doesn't make them the issue on your view on AI." ~ Silver_eagle_1 "YTA. Your vibes here are sh*t." "You went to someone's birthday just for free food and then sh*t on the thing they enjoyed." "Your 20 not 12." "Act like an adult." "If you don't want to celebrate someone don't go to there birthday party." "If you do go have the decency to not be an a**hole to them." ~ griffinwalsh "He should have stopped shoving his dumba*s stolen song in OPs face after being told she wasn't interested." "Dude is 40 and behaving like he's 4." ~ DobbyFreeElf35 "Everyone grieves their own way." "And what do you mean you went to someone’s birthday party to eat their food and see someone else?" "You called someone lazy and stupid at their party when you only went there for food and to see someone else?" ~ CptKUSSCryAllTheTime "Putting a prompt into a theft machine is not grieving." "It's attention seeking behavior, as shown by his insistence on OP listening to that garbage." ~ MoreThanMachines42 "Not putting in a sliver of effort and claiming authorship is beyond stupid and pathetic. NTA." "Your uncle sucks, and so does everyone who encourages him." ~ DynkoFromTheNorth "YTA. He was honoring her, what right do you have to judge?" "If she had just died... Maybe it would have been uncool for him to do it." ~ BluceBannel Reddit is having a tough time with this one, OP. You have every right to feel what you feel. Your cousin has every right to create how he "creates." Hopefully, you can find common ground. Good Luck. --- ### Redditor Abandons Fantasy Book Club They Created After New Members Force Group To Read 'Romantasy' Books **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/quit-book-club-reddit/.md Interests are an ever-changing phenomenon. Sometimes, we might be surprised to find that things that once brought us endless joy and excitement hardly cross our minds anymore. As a result, we put much less effort and energy into these hobbies and interests. Sometimes, this changes our relationships and friend dynamics. Redditor Maximum_Love101 once found a community they loved being a part of. This led the original poster (OP) to become something of a social chair. However, as the group's dynamic slowly changed, the OP's interest and investment in the community began to wane. A decision that didn't sit well with some of the OP's acquaintances. Having some doubts about how they handled things, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors: "AITA for quitting a book club?" The OP explained why they felt they needed a break from a community they helped grow: "So, I started a book club at my friendly indie bookstore." "It’s a fantasy book club, and I’ve been really all about growing it and making it a welcoming and inclusive space." "Everyone can suggest titles and we all vote on them." "I maintain a spreadsheet and the email list and I run the discord." "I’m sure I know how it sounds, but I’m cool, I swear." "About 6 months ago we got about ten or so new people, bringing our numbers up to 25, which is amazing." "The group is really sweet and supportive, we’ve done food drives and raised money." "Not a lot but it’s for various charities." "But recently I decided to take a step back." "This is because the new people really only want to read romantasy." "I do not have ANY problem with romantasy!" "It’s totally valid and absolutely a part of fantasy, I also like romance! I tend to like my romances a little sweeter and most of the romantasy that gets suggested is more 'dark shadow daddy' vibes." "The group of 10 vote as a block while the rest of the remaining group kind of vote for whatever interests them, so for 6 months we’ve read nothing but romantasy and I just…wasn’t enjoying it." "So I politely at the last meeting just said I needed to take a break, maybe I’d be back later." "I gave one of the other people the email list and spreadsheet as well as making them the mod on the discord." "2 months have gone by and the group has sort of fragmented apparently." "They stopped maintaining the discord, emailing people, and now for the third month since my absence apparently a lot of people have left." "I’m still a regular at the bookstore so I see people and one of the girls that joined was there." "She made it a point to come up to me and tell me I’m an a**hole because I left the book club because I don’t want to read romantasy, that I’m toxic because I like 'shitty male gaze fantasy' and that she hopes I’m proud of myself for ruining it." "AITA?" Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by. declaring: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for leaving their book club. Everyone agreed that the disgruntled club member the OP ran into was just resentful that the OP clearly proved themself to be the glue that held the book club together, and no one else could manage to keep it together: "NTA." "You have no obligation to continue a book club that you started for fun, regardless of the reason." "And it sounds like you weren’t rude about it either."- musthavecupcakes_19 "NTA." "How does she know why you left?" "You only said you needed to take a break, right?" "Your leaving does not necessarily have anything to do with the group falling apart." "Perhaps others didn't want to gorge on romantasy constantly either." "Regardless, you have a right to have your own life." "That woman was way out of line."- Familiar_Shock_1542 "They just seem to be mad that they couldn't keep people engaged without you lol." "The point of book clubs used to be to broaden your horizons (though there's nothing wrong with a specific kind either)." "But with a book club that big, y'all definitely probably should've set up a rotation for categories and themes." "Even if most people aren't terribly interested in a book, again, traditionally, it was common to pick books to try and learn more perspectives." "NTA."- dearbornx "NTA at all." "The whole point of book clubs is that you are meant to read books that interest the group, not a clique." "If they wanted a Romantasy-heavy book club (I’m with you on your opinion of them tbh), then they should have started their own club." "They cannot blame you for the club failing because they do not have your drive or skill to keep the club afloat." "I hope you either find a book club or start another one where romantasy is a once in a blue moon kind of thing."-DiligentChampion5765 "NTA." "But that's what ranked choice voting is for." "That and using the top three winners for the next three book picks." "Then the shadow daddy ratio is more manageable."- UpOnZeeTail "NTA." "But huge yikes at that girl that was a major a-hole move on her part." "You’re allowed to want to read whatever you want to read, just as she is." "If they wanted a romantasy-only group, they should have started their own group instead of joining your fantasy group." "Fantasy and romantasy are two separate genres!" "The way your stepped back was done tastefully and politely, they are just pissed that they don’t have an organized person running things after they came in and steamrolled your entire book club group lol."- airyem "NTA." "It's not your fault they couldn't maintain after you left." "They obviously didn't understand how much time and effort you were putting into it." "If anything this person should be more appreciative of what you did when you were around." "The new people obviously didn't communicate or keep up."- EnvironmentalKey5350 "NTA of course." "Your local library probably has a bunch of book clubs you could join, or you can go to your town's Reddit and start or join a new book club." "I'm in like, 8 book clubs." "I flit in and out based on what book they're reading that month, and if that interests me." "Life is too short to read books you don't like."- Acrobatic_Ear6773 "NTA." "You're an adult with free will." "They could all try harder, but it's easier to mooch off your hard work and blame you for their shortcomings." "Don't apologize, you've done nothing wrong."- DryWeb4417 "NTA." "Giving time to things you don't enjoy isn't being fair to yourself." "You gave it a chance to happen, and you gave it a chance to keep on living." "They are the ones that killed it, not you."- baboonontheride "NTA." "The only response to that girl is 'okay so why don't you run it?'"- Professional-Scar628 "NTA." "There is a really great book club where I live that hosts fun themed parties." 'But they read exclusively dark shadow daddy romantasy." "I would love to go!" "But the books don't appeal to me at all. I've also been part of a 'genre book club' (reading a book you choose within an assigned genre/theme vs everyone reading the same book), but a lot of people want to read 1 title, and I'm just not interested in the titles they pick. So I've taken a step back." "All that to say 1) I totally feel you on the romantasy - it's not my fave even though I love fantasy. 2) you aren't obligated to participate in an activity that doesn't appeal to you anymore. "Also, I don't know what type of fantasy you read, but I read almost exclusively female authors so that girl can stuff it with her "shitty male gaze" bullsh*t." "There is plenty of female written and driven fantasy out there that isn't romantasy."- girlwithagnome "NTA." "Maybe giving people a option of more than one book would be helpful." "The dark romance part sounded weird." "Would have left to."- PreviousZone6742 "NTA." "Why should you read books you don’t like?" "It’s not your fault that no one else could apparently handle any of the administrative aspects of the club."- amymari "NTA." "People didn't leave because you left." "They left for the same reason that you left." "Also seems like they wanted to have a club secretary for free."- morto00x Discovering that something you always look forward to has ended is always sad and frustrating. However, the OP didn't end this book club; they simply stepped away from it. Anyone angry that this book club couldn't sustain itself without the OP's help has no one to blame but themselves. --- ### Guy Tells Wife She Can't Quit Job To Be Stay-At-Home Mom Due To Her $120k Student Loans **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/wife-student-loans-reddit/.md Everyone likes to have an idea of what their future might look like, specifically when it comes to family planning. No matter how hard we try, however, no one can ever be certain what the future holds. Often, we have to pivot or make choices we'd rather not have to make. With some being unlucky enough to have others tell them what they should and shouldn't do with their lives. Redditor DiligentThought9 and his wife were about to enter an exciting new chapter. With this new chapter came many expectations from the original poster (OP)'s future in-laws. The OP was not at all in favor of these expectations, given his and his fiancée's financial situation. Wondering if he was wrong for feeling this way, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole Here" (AITAH). Unlike the similar 'Am I The A**Hole' (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Voting acronyms aren't required, and no final judgment is declared. The OP asked fellow Redditors: "AITAH for telling my fiancé she cannot be a stay at home mom in the future?" The OP explained why they were not appreciative of their in-laws' questions and suggestions regarding his and his fiancée's future planning: "I (34 M) and my fiancée (33 F) are getting married next year, and we are in agreement about having a child within 2 years." "Recently, she and her family have broached the topic of her quitting her job and staying home with the child, at least until our kid gets to school age." "I am against this." "I make between 85-95k a year pending bonuses and her salary is 53k." "Financially, we could make it on my pay alone if it wasn’t for her student loans." 'She has 120,000 dollars in private student loans." "These loans have a payment of 850 dollars every month; there is no option for forbearance like public loans or adjusting the payment for income." "This simply doesn’t fit in the budget." "My fiancé seems to understand this, but her family (mother in particular) is really pushing her being at home." "I don’t want to come across as forcing her to do something she doesn’t want to do or be accused of not putting my future child first, but to me the answer is in black and white on the spreadsheet." "AITAH?" Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community saw where the OP was coming from. Just about everyone agreed that the OP was merely thinking practically and his mother-in-law was shoving her nose where it didn't belong, with many even arguing that if the OP's in-laws are so determined for their daughter to be a stay-at-home mom, then they should pay off her student loans: "NTA," "But it is a fixable issue." "If your in-laws want your fiancé to stay home, they should just pay off her student debt."- Traditional-Trade795 "Do an experiment." "Spend the next couple of years (before kids) living off your paycheck alone." "Use her paycheck to pay off the loans early." "You’ll pay off the loans early, saving on interest, and discover if your salary can actually support the two of you (without the added expenses of a baby)." "If it doesn’t work, you’ll still have her salary as a cushion, and she’ll understand the importance of bringing in that salary." "If it does work, then you can reevaluate your parenting plan to include her being a SAHM."- Maleficent_Maize_409 "Her mom can pay off her student loans if she wants to give her opinion." "You cannot afford to pay for her student loans and have your fiancée stay home." "Her job is what covers the cost of the loans and provides a financial buffer." "Your fiancée is responsible for shutting her mom down." "NTA."- Natenat04 "Why is your fiancée allowing her mother to give input into things that should be private between the two of you?" "Does she secretly agree that she should stay home?" "Be careful this won't get better with time." "NTA."- Top-Bit85 "All that matters is what you and your fiancée decide and agree on."- SDinCH "Live off just your income NOW and have her put her WHOLE INCOME towards her student loans." "She’ll have them paid off in 3 years." 'Plan for the baby at the end of those 3 years." "you don’t want all that debt when you start a new family."- CharKrat "NTA." "Together, you don’t bring in enough income to live on only one salary." "Your single income is a struggle income." "That’s the simple fact." "She wants to take a 5-6 year break from work — assuming you only have one child — and speaking as a mom with children finally out of elementary school, there is so much that happens in the morning, during the school day, and after school that she will want to be there for." "It is incredibly hard to be a working mom and not to be present for the school day / after school activities." "She is not going to want to return to work after being a stay-at-home mom when your children are in pre-K, kindergarten, and elementary." "Babies are expensive; daycare costs are absurd (in the US), but that’s a finite time." "It is much harder for a mom to return to the workforce after taking a mommy break." "It is absolutely possible, but it’s hard." "You also need to consider retirement, the size of your home, vacation, paid activities for the kid… it adds up."- ribbitrabbit2000 "NTA." "Her mom should have been pushing her to not take out 120k in private student loans to only make 53k a year." "That’s when momma advice would have been more helpful."- Embarrassed_Hat_2904 "'You allowed her to accumulate 120k in student loan debt, so we can't afford her at home. But if you pay that off, we can afford her to be a SAHM. When can we expect the check?'"- WorkMeBaby1MoreTime "Neither of you are ready to be married or have a child if you aren’t in agreement on this." "Also, your future in-laws sound overbearing."- Holiday_Beautiful297 "$120k on student loans to make $53k?" "Ouch." "The math doesn’t work for me." "If she stays home until the kids are in school - will she even still have the job skills to get back into her field?" "If you wait to have kids, she might not give birth until her late 30s, making her early to mid 40s trying to re-enter an always changing job force." "How will she keep her skills current to match the market?" "I know someone who was in tech, dropped out to raise her kids, trying to get back in now." "She doesn’t have the same skills that are needed today." "AND If you and your girlfriend’s financial house don’t align - that’s yet another problem here." "Are you sure you are ready for marriage?"- No_Profile_3343 "NTA." "Being a SAHM is a valid choice, but it has to be a decision you and your fiancée make together, not something her mother decides for you." "$120k in private student loans plus an $850/month payment makes giving up a $53k salary a significant financial hit." "You’re not saying she can never stay home." "You’re saying the numbers don’t currently support it." "This is something you two need to agree on before getting married and having a child, including what needs to happen financially for her to become a SAHM."- Far-Swim7394 "Is your fiancée really in favor of not quitting?" "Do you trust her to have a baby and then go back to work after maternity leave?" "If this is just her MIL pushing, that is fixable." "If it is your fiancee, that is a way bigger problem."- OneMoreTimeJack "I have to wonder at her parents that would let her rack up 130k in loans to start her life and then tell her to quit work to have a child."- logical-sanity "Well, if her family convinced her it was ok to take out $120K in (private!!!!!) student loans for a career that tops out at half that, then you know how good their advice is gonna be about everything else." "You are NTA." 'Personally I'd postpone the wedding, because it sounds like her mother is gonna be a problem." "And I wouldn't be so sure that any deal you make before the wedding will hold up when the baby comes." "IMO marrying someone with this kind of debt would be a deal breaker." "That $850 a month is essentially for life the way those loans are structured-more than 25% of her income." "I've seen too many examples of someone paying for 20 years or more and the principal never gets touched; in fact, it gets bigger. be careful."- Odd-Worth7752 It's hard to imagine any parents who don't wish they could scale back their work, or stop working entirely, to pay more attention to their families. Unfortunately, for most parents, that simply isn't possible. The OP's in-laws need to take that into account, rather than pressure their child into a life she can't afford. --- ### New Dad Berated By Postpartum Wife For Drinking Beer With Friend While She Was Visiting Baby In Hospital **Published:** October 7, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/new-dad-berated-reddit/.md Childbirth is not an easy situation. It can be especially stressful when there are complications, like premature delivery. A lot of mothers struggle with postpartum after a regular birth, so a complicated birth can add an extra layer of frenzy. How partners show up can often set the tone of recovery. Redditor u/Dakanon found himself in a dilemma regarding moving into a new house and the birth of his child, so he turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback. Like AITA, the AITAH subreddit lets posters ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. He asked: "AITAH for having my best friend over after helping me move?" The original poster (OP) explained: "My wife and I had a baby on Monday, and our baby is currently in the N I C U." "Actually bought a new house while she was being admitted to the hospital, and he was premature." "Four days after giving birth, my wife was discharged." "We went to visit our baby together in the NICU and then came home that night." "The next day, five days postpartum, she went back to the NICU while I stayed behind to work on moving us into our new place." "My best friend had been helping nonstop, even moving stuff while we were in the hospital." "That day, he helped me move all day." "As a thank you, I bought him dinner and a couple of beers, and we watched a bit of football." "When my wife came home, she was upset that he was there eating, drinking beer, watching football." "From my perspective, he’d done me a huge favor, but I also understand she was five days postpartum, stressed, exhausted, and processing a lot." The OP was left to wonder: "So... AITAH?" Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors decided the OP WAS the A**hole here. "NAH. Your friend absolutely deserved dinner after helping all day, but your wife is five days postpartum with a baby in the NICU." "Coming home to beers and football probably hit very differently for her." ~ JayZan42 "Agreed. This is just a tough situation. NAH." ~ Treicule "Yeah, I also agree with NAH." "OP is just being grateful to his friend for helping them out while his wife is understandably tired and stressed with postpartum." "Just to prevent situations like this from happening again, it would be better if OP informs his wife and updates her so she won't be blindsided." ~ IceSeeker "Agreed." "NAH as long as the wife is also getting taken care of." "Moving is not easy, and it's good hubby is stepping up and getting the unpacking done, so much lifting and moving shouldn't be happening 5 days postpartum." "But perhaps a heads-up text that he and his buddy were eating dinner and having some beers after all the heavy lifting so she wouldn't be surprised when she got home." "And that a hot dinner plate was waiting for her when she got home." ~ Intelligent-Panda-33 "She’s got the usual post-birth changes to deal with, the stress of a baby in the neonatal unit, and likely a crap ton of work left to unpack and set up the house before the baby gets home (because you guys won’t have time to do it after), and who knows what else." "Plus a 4-day postpartum stay in the hospital." "Is she ok?" "Your friend definitely deserved dinner, drinks, and football. But maybe another day?" "She needs you, buddy." "Be there." ~ lobr6 "Agreed. NAH." "I’ve been in your wife’s shoes." "I lost my mind when my husband did something similar, though now I completely get it." "The postpartum period is tough." "Let her be upset, but know you’re doing your best." ~ polar810 "Yeah, I would say NTA if he just stayed back for a bit and had dinner." "Moving is hard, and they deserve some time to wind down at the end of the day, but with the baby in the NICU the first thing the wife sees when she comes home is op relaxed and having fun." "Being in and out of the hospital and worried about your newborn has got to be very mentally straining and scary, and wife probably felt like she was alone in that part of their situation in that moment." ~ Thor527 "The friend wasn't just over watching football." "Had it not been for the friend, the wife would not have had most of her home set up." "I'm sure his friend would have loved dinner, beer, football, and hanging out for the day without moving house for someone, but he showed up for friends." "You don't find that often." ~ Fast-Aside-8732 "No one sucks here." "Your friend did you a huge solid, and you treated him to thank him for it." "Your wife was insanely exhausted from a day in NICU, and was overwhelmed to see a guest she'd then have to entertain, and perhaps resentful you didn't go back to the NICU after work was done." "However, spending many days at the NICU is insanely stressful; it is ok and probably important that you just take a few hours off to relax." "So no one sucks, except the situation." "No a**holes here." ~ techjobber99 "NAH. Your friend deserves a small thanks after helping all day." "Your wife is stressed." "You didn’t do anything wrong." "Hoping your baby is home soon, happy and healthy." ~ yellohello1001 "So your wife was at the hospital with your seriously ill child, and you were drinking beer and watching football with a friend?" "Because that’s how she sees it." "He did you a huge favor and absolutely needed thanking; that was not the time to do it." "You could have asked for a rain check and taken him for some beers in a couple of weeks when things were a bit more settled." "A soft YTA for not thinking it through." ~ Physical_Dance_9606 "This is hard." "My son was in the NICU for 3.5 months." "He wasn't premature, so I'm not going to go any further than that because it's different, and I spent most of my time in The Ronald McDonald House." "But it feels like the world stops." "You just gave birth, and your body and brain just want to hold and take care of your baby, and you can't." "Not really." "You should have taken him out instead." "And come home at a reasonable time and be there for your wife." "She had your baby less than a week ago." "I understand he did you a huge solid, and you were trying to show some gratitude." "But no mom with a baby in the NICU at 5 days postpartum is going to handle walking into her home to her husband and his buddy chilling with football and beers, well." "I'm sorry your son is in the NICU." "I pray for a speedy hospital stay and for y'all to have him home soon." "I'm not going to call you an AH - it's a hard time." "But you should have gone to a sports bar." ~ Kiekles "Everyone saying you’re NTA has never had a baby in the NICU." "Everyone screws up." "Recognize your mistake, sincerely." "Apologize to your wife, and make sure she knows you mean it." "She and your new baby should be the priorities (not beer, pizza, and football with a friend who helped you move)." "You had good intentions." "It’s just that those intentions were wrong." "A true friend will know you appreciate their help and won’t be offended by a 'thank you raincheck' while your baby is in the Intensive Care Unit (that’s what 3 of the letters in the acronym stand for)." ~ Okayist-Exerciser "NAH. But not great either." "Part of the problem is that she was blind sided by him being there casually droning beers, watching the game." "You made a mistake by not notifying her in advance — something like, 'Since Joe has been helping us move non-stop for the last couple of days, would it be alright with you if I order in some food for us while we watch the game?'" ~ here_and_there_their "You are not the a**hole, but neither is she." "The only thing that I could say you might have done differently, not saying you didn't do this either... let her know the full situation prior to her walking into it." "However, being married to a redhead and having 4 kids, 2 were premature, and the youngest was almost 4 months early... give her some leniency, apologize profusely, run her a warm bubble bath, and offer a back rub with wine if appropriate." "And no touching the naughty bits for once." ~ Think_Warning_910 "I think this would be totally different if she wasn’t 5 days postpartum; when I was 5 days postpartum, all I needed was my husband's undivided attention." "The hormones are crazzyyyyy at the time, and I would honestly be upset if he wasn’t suffering with me (that sounds terrible)." "This isn’t the worst thing ever, but I definitely get where she’s coming from." ~ parrot9094 "NAH 100%." "Congratulations on the new addition to the family." "Best wishes to you and your family." ~ Manerdg "It would have been better if you warned her/gave her a heads up or better yet asked." "Yes, your buddy deserved dinner, yes you needed guy time, and yes your wife was alone, scared at the hospital. " "All true." "Please apologize." ~ UnlikelyGrapefruit38 Most of Reddit is with you, OP. But your wife is struggling with a lot. It's going to be a little stressful for a while. A new baby and a new house, all at the same time? Be kind to one another. --- ### Former Hair Stylist Mom Tells Daughter To Find New Salon After She Keeps Making Her Do $1,500 Service For Free **Published:** October 7, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/hair-stylist-mom-reddit/.md Dealing with favors for loved ones can be stressful. Often, people end up feeling taken advantage of. Then confrontations start, and then feelings are hurt. Favors aren't always a great idea. Redditor Comfortable_Oven7632 found herself in a dilemma regarding her daughter's hair, so she turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback. Like AITA, the AITAH subreddit lets posters ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. She asked: "AITAH for telling my 19 year old daughter to find another stylist?" The original poster (OP) explained: "I (42 F) have a daughter, 19." "I did hair off and on for 20 years." "My last stint was 9 years at one salon." "After being emotionally abused, bullied, and financially ruined cause they wanted to punish me when I called out." "For example, I broke and dislocated my thumb on their property, and they took me off the books for 2 weeks, so I wouldn’t be paid." "So this led to a HUGE change in my 'passion' for hair." "I hate it." "I loathe it." "Furious rage towards doing hair." "Now in A R at a huge company and happier than ever." "However, my daughter forces me to micro foil (foils with bleach in them a mm apart) her entire head, tone it, and then put in 3 rows of weft extensions." "EVERY SINGLE TIME we get into multiple big fights when I do her hair." "She says she likes how I do it." "Yet always has something to complain about." "I think she just likes that she is getting an almost $1500+ service for free!" "So the last time, over the weekend, I lost my sh*t." "I told her this will be the last time." "I refuse to be FORCED into something I absolutely hate by anyone—blood or not." The OP was left to wonder: "You tell me… am I the a**hole?" Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors were a little all over the map with their thoughts on who was the A**hole here. "NTA, assuming that she’s living in your home, tell her to knock it off, grow up, stop throwing a tantrum like a two-year-old, and have someone else do her hair or get out." "I know it’s hard, but you shouldn’t allow her to hold the household hostage with her temper tantrum." "She needs to grow up and stop doing what you hate." "Good luck, Mom." ~ appleblossom1962 "I'm sorry, but you completely lost me at 'my daughter FORCES ME.'" "I never heard anything so ridiculous in my life." "It is not physically possible for ANYONE to force ANYONE to perform hair services." "Good lord, what next, being forced to wax someone's legs or detail their car?" "STOP BEING RIDICULOUS!" "Every adult has to learn to use, and to hear AND BELIEVE the word NO." ~ Swimming-Ad620 "YTA, nobody is forcing you to do anything." "Your daughter is behaving exactly how you taught her to behave." "If you want to stop doing her hair, that’s fine… You told her you were done, so be done." "More problematic is that you are holding rage at your old employer and spraying that rage all over the place and at people who don’t deserve it- including yourself..." "1- At your daughter particularly and..." "2- At yourself by letting anything alter your passion for hair, and..." "3- At the world at large/Reddit etc." "My guess is that you’re harboring rage from other things too and lashing out at everyone who doesn’t deserve it either." "Does drama follow you or do you follow (create) it???" "One way to get out of that spiral is therapy (with a good therapist- which might take some effort to find)." "There are others, but the hard work of facing down that kind of pain is easier with guidance." "It’s not ok to keep the whole world paying for your pain when the whole world didn’t cause it." "Someone or something else did." "And you perpetuate it." "Just stop and make some choices to deal with it." ~ anneg1312 "I would seriously consider therapy." "You seem unreasonably upset over a career that you no longer have by choice." "As far as your daughter goes, if doing her hair is making you this upset, use your words like a grown-up and say no." "No one is forcing you." "You may feel guilty about not wanting to do it, but she is not making you do anything." "You’re doing it by choice." ~ MommaGuy "YTA. No one is forcing you to do anything." "You could've said no however many times ago and been done with it." "Please talk to a therapist because the amount of anger you have about doing hair is not normal and not healthy." ~ Iowa_Hawkeyes4516 "You’re exhausting." "I guarantee you’re the type who drama follows." "I say YTA only bc you’re not going to stop doing it, and it was an empty threat." "You spent 9 yrs being treated poorly, by your description, and never once during that period said 'I’m not going to continue this' and left." "You can’t martyr yourself then get mad when you’re walked over." ~ Glum-Mulberry-9430 "You need to learn to calmly enforce and then stick to boundaries." "You'd avoid hairdressing and the fights it always causes." "But on that note, maybe also work on your general conflict resolution skills, to then model that for your daughter." "This shouldn't be causing multiple huge fights, so I'm assuming you get yourselves into an argument feedback loop." "Soft YTA because this would never have become an issue if you'd nipped this in the bud as the parent." ~ finnthepokeman "Taking you off the books with a broken thumb seems like putting your H&S first." "Holding scissors without a working thumb will be hard, and the salon can’t risk further injury." "Your rage seems to be because you believe everyone is taking advantage of you, so you react to everything as if they are. You should work on this." "NTA for not doing her hair, though." ~ East_Bet_7187 "YTA (gently and with understanding) you're the adult here." "Act like one. If your kid is bratty enough to demand anything, that's on you for not teaching them a healthy respect for boundaries." "As well as the cost of hair maintenance." "That's a lot of money, and she should understand that it's a luxury, not a right." "I have the luxury of affording a haircut every three months." "But if I don't have the money?" "I reschedule for when I do." "I understand you've had an awful experience." "I used to be a dog groomer, but the experiences at some of the salons I worked at gave me so much anxiety I could no longer continue." "Now, if my friends or family ask me to groom their dogs, I set boundaries with what I'm actually comfortable doing." "You're 42; you owe it to your child to set her straight." "Have the tough conversation about WHY you struggle with hairdressing, and if she wants to be upset, that's her prerogative." "But act like an adult and treat her like one too." ~ Diligent_Clock6649 "Friend, you’re NTA, because you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, but also, maybe see a therapist because this anger you’re holding isn’t normal or healthy." "Also, you raised her; if she’s particular and prone to negativity, based on what I’m reading here, I think I can see where it came from." "Work on you and then work on her." ~ Megpyre "OP. I would not say that you are TAH." "I would say that there’s a lot of pent-up emotions that need to be worked through." "I don’t know how you respond to your daughter when she asked for this incredibly expensive hair treatment I’ve never heard of before." "How can a hair treatment cost over $1000?" "Or even $200?" "If it is not a joy for you, let your daughter know that you’re simply not able to do that." "I hope that at some point you’re able to see your joy again, but it’s probably gonna take a lot of therapy and self-compassion." "Unfortunate that you got injured on the job." "My guess is that you get paid per client, and if you have an injury like that, you’re not able to do the work." ~ pink-outdoors "How does your daughter force you to do anything?" "Are you not the adult?" "Or an adult? YTA." "Plus, this is a wild reason to be so angry." "You need therapy to try to get over such severe anger." "Or something." "It's negatively affecting your life." "You deserve to work through this and put it behind you." "It sounds unhealthy." ~ Specific_Ad2541 "YTA. You are way too angry about this." "It's something nice you could do for your daughter so she doesn't have to spend a small fortune." "Maybe she likes that her mother can do her hair?" "And there you are going into a blind rage about it." "I hope she does find someone else and never forgets you made her waste her money doing so because you couldn't be bothered." ~ immajustgooglethat "Both of you are AH." "OP, mother up, say the one-word sentence that everyone hates: 'no,' that you're not entering another conversation about it." "Walk away; stick to your guns." "She’s the a** for guilt-tripping you." ~ TeaBeginning5565 "ESH. By enabling your daughter's behavior for however long, you've created an entitled brat." "Just stop doing her hair, period." "If she throws tantrums about her, tell her to move out." ~ PetrockX Reddit had a lot to say, OP. You may want to sit your daughter down and explain what is truly bothering you. Whether or not she understands is on her. Good Luck. --- ### Guy Epically Claps Back At Aunt Who's Always Commenting That He's Gotten Fatter **Published:** October 7, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/call-aunt-fat-reddit/.md We all have friends and family members that we kid around with. However, there are only so many things the words "just kidding" can excuse. It takes very little for a joke to go too far, and some things are harder for people to find funny than others. Redditor TerribleTomatoTango had an aunt who loved to joke around with him. Unfortunately, the original poster (OP) never found his aunt's jokes very funny at all. Finally fed up, the OP felt compelled to throw his aunt's humor back at her. Interestingly, she didn't find the jokes very funny either. Wondering if he went too far, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors: "AITA for telling my aunt she's gotten fatter?" The OP explained why he resorted to making a very public remark about his aunt's weight: "I'll try to keep this short." "I really do like my aunt, but like my grandma and other relatives she always felt the need to comment my weight." "'You've gained weight, maybe take it easy with the food today', 'you lost weight, you need to eat more' - you know how it goes." "I've always felt uncomfortable because of those comments." "But that was 30 years ago." "I'm a grown man now. I'm in the best shape of my life, I've run marathons, I regularly go climbing indoors and outdoors, I lift and do strength training." "I know how to eat healthy and take care of my body." "And STILL when I invited my aunt over a few weeks back to my new home, the FIRST thing she said to me was how I lost weight and look scrawny and should eat more." "She even grabbed my sides to check my ribs!" "That really, really set me off!" "In turn I grabbed her sides, squeezed her fat rolls and told her that she's gotten fatter." "I tried to 'sell' it by being extra gentle and show her the irony, but I don't think that worked." "BTW I'm 77kg on 1,78m; she's more like 110kg on 1,55cm." "As you can imagine this somehow killed the mood." "She didn't really talk to me for the rest of the evening, and my wife later told me that I was super insensitive and couldn't say stuff like that." "Other relatives told me that as well." "But then why is it okay when she did it my whole life!?!" "AITA?" Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community was somewhat divided as to whether or not the OP was the a**hole for making a joke about his aunt's weight. Everyone agreed that the OP's aunt seemed to deserve a taste of her own medicine, and might hopefully think more carefully about her jokes going forward: "NTA." "I was ready to call you an AH based on the title." "But damn, she really stepped into it here." "Touching your ribs is really odd, and also the hypocrisy, you're always too big or too small." "Maybe you taught her a lesson here."- RhododendronWilliams "NTA." "And I don't think she's gonna be making those comments again."- Princessesierra "NTA, in context." "Folks of a certain generation are obsessed with commenting on others' weight gain/loss." "It is extremely rude, especially coupled with the fact that she physically grabbed you." "Next time you see her, have a calm talk to inform her to please not comment on your body."- RazVsLungfish "NTA." "Consequences of her actions." "Btw. if thats true she is OBESE."- Csimpattana "NTA." "It’s always been so strange to me that in society it’s considered ok to comment on a man’s appearance/weight but as soon as you do it to a woman you’re an insensitive prick?" "It’s always the older lady relatives too!" "Ugh." "Men’s mental health matters." "I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this from your aunt for so long!" "Maybe you didn’t go about it the right way but I would have snapped as well."- EasyAcanthisitta3082 "So she's spent 30 years policing your weight and crossing your physical boundaries while grabbing your or jabbing you in the sides?" "NTA." 'I'm amazed at the restraint to not call her out 30 years ago, she's long-earned a comment back." "In general it's a cruel thing to do, but someone making an effort to shake you for weight gain/loss for 3 decades has lost the benefit of the doubt." "Maybe let your wife know how long it's been going on, and tell your relatives to stop being hypocrites." "If they're fine with her doing it, they can be fine with people doing it to her."- TheGingerCynic "You can not win with people like this." "Anyone who feels it is ok to comment on another person's weight will not take it well if you direct it back to them." "They have a mental block which does not let them see that it is inappropriate." "They have an internal monologue that tells them it is ok for them to comment on others." "But if someone does it to them they feel attacked." "They cannot reconcile that the two situations are the same." "Anyway." "You are NTA and hopefully your aunt learned a lesson."- nancylyn "NTA." 'I had a great aunt that tried this with me from childhood up until she went senile." 'I heard it CONSTANTLY whenever she was in town." "I was an obese child and went into adulthood that way too." "It was hard, and I kept having miserable diet culture and negative reinforcement drilled into me." "Eventually, as an adult, I was able to make my own choices and began losing the weight on my own." 'I was getting active and doing things I enjoyed." "I felt good." "Did I eat perfectly all the time?" 'No." "I still enjoyed food in moderation and allowed myself to eat intuitively." "She visited my dad one summer, and I dropped in to see her and the family before heading to do backyard wrestling." "I had a Wawa coffee and a muffin." "She asked me if it was a 'diet muffin'." 'I said something snarky to her and met up with my wrestling buddies." "Skipped lunch because I wasn't really hungry yet and went back to my dad's house." "Fast forward, it's late afternoon." "They're making dinner." "I snatched a biscuit fresh from the oven." "'You're eating again?'"- fenrirjotun "NTA." "You gave her a taste of her own medicine."- onion2077 "NTA." "Let the big bij know whats up."- Nice_Nebula_6156 "Keep doing it." "Maybe she will finally learn to keep her hands, and her unwelcome comments, to herself." "NTA."- ProfessionalYam3119 There were a few, however, who didn't think the OP needed to sink to his aunt's level, even if they thought she deserved it: "I mean.. ESH." "But, I don’t blame you." "She spent your whole life on you about your weight; it only makes sense you’d snap." "It does make you also an a**hole, just less of one than her, and yours was very justified." "This is one of those 'both things are true' situations: yes, she asked for it, and yes, your response was extremely understandable and imo justified; however, the way you did it." "There are better ways to create and enforce boundaries." "Just because I do think you are an ahole too, I don’t think you had much choice, and I don’t blame you." "It’s okay to be the a**hole sometimes."- Kittenwho21 "Look." "If someone is being as a**hole, and then you stood to their level, then ESH." "It's that simple." "I realize not everyone agrees with this simple philosophy, and it's good that you stood up for yourself." "Sometimes we need to act like an a**hole."- jarboxing "ESH." "I’m sure the teenagers will believe you behaved just fine." "So just take heart in that the brains of 15-year-olds think it was fine."- Inconceivable76 "ESH." "Have you ever tried to talk to her about her constant verbal abuse?" "Why do so few of these stories have the words 'I tried to talk to them about this issue' ..."- Gertrude_D "ESH." "But honestly I think you’re a justified a**hole in this scenario."- hyperhurricanrana Others, however, felt the OP should have handled the situation more maturely and only made matters worse by clapping back at his aunt: "YTA." "Maybe not an a-hole but petty." "Maybe next time be the bigger adult (no pun intended) and say 'hey auntie I don’t like when you comment on my body so please don’t ok?'” "I understand this is a trigger but if you ask AITA, I say yeah."- tiosega A joke at someone's expense is only funny if that person is laughing with everyone else. Even then, someone's body is usually always off-limits. Something the OP's aunt shouldn't have had to learn until she became the butt of the joke herself... --- ### Redditor Uneasy About Giving Dad $30k To Pay Late Mortgage So He Doesn't End Up Homeless **Published:** October 7, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/let-father-homeless-reddit/.md Most parents try to lead by example. Teaching their children that certain things in life must be earned, and as they enter adulthood, they need to start leveling their expectations of how much their parents can help them. However, the older we get, there will come a point when children will need to step up and start helping their parents. Even though they may often seriously wonder if their parents are worthy of their help. Redditor tinyevilsponges grew up without getting much help from their father. Unfortunately, the original poster (OP)'s father found himself in a dire situation, turning to his children for help. Help the OP was very hesitant to offer, given their history. Wondering if they were being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit "Would I Be The A**hole" (WIBTA), where they asked fellow Redditors: "WIBTA If I let my dad become homeless?" The OP explained why they weren't losing that much sleep over the thought of their father losing his home: "My (25 Non-Binary ) dad (53 M) called me up yesterday, and the conversation was basically this." "He is broke, he hasn’t been paying his mortgage, and unless he can find someone to borrow $30,000 from, he is going to lose the house." "This isn’t much of a surprise." "He has been in as much debt as the bank will let him take on for as long as I can remember." "Apparently, after my grandpa died a few months ago, my dad thought he would receive a much bigger inheritance than he did, so he spent a lot of money he didn’t have." "Something that is important to note is that he makes around $250,000 a year and provides no financial support to his adult children." "He wouldn’t even pay the $50 a month it would have cost to put my little sister on his health insurance." "I currently make $64,000 a year." "There is no reason I should have more money than him." "He didn’t get sick." "He didn’t lose his job." "He wasn’t hit by a natural disaster." "He makes good money." "The only thing that happens to his money is that he spends it." "He has always had a spending problem." "He buys cars, motorcycles, table saws, and so on." "He has bought three different custom bikes because he wanted to get into cycling, and then left them outside to rust without using them once." "And now he wants me to cut him a check for $30,000." "I technically do have the money, but it would have to come from the down payment I’ve been saving to buy a house for myself, as well as my emergency fund." "He says he will pay me back." "I have my doubts." "He used to borrow money from me when I was a child, and while he usually did pay me back, the amount of cajoling it took makes me not want to do it again." "My wife (26 NB) says that it’s my dad and that they will support me in whatever I decide, but they seem sympathetic to his plight." "Both of my sisters (22 F and 25 F) are saying to let him figure it out, whereas my brother (28 M) says that he is our dad and that if we want to be better than him, we have to act better than him." "He also offered to cover part of the bill." "Looking at the options, there are three I can come up with:" "Give him $30,000." "This is a complete nonstarter." "I do not have $30,000 to burn on this." "That money is for my wife and me to build our future." "I can not give it away." "Cosign on an apartment for him." "His credit score is too low to sign for himself." "The fact that he hasn’t been paying his mortgage implies to me that he would not pay his rent, so this is essentially signing up to pay his rent." "Considering the fact that he makes 4x my annual income, this seems unfair." "Let him figure it out." "I think there is a good possibility that he will actually end up homeless." "I don’t have space to list all the details, but he probably deserves it. It still feels wrong." "I don’t really think there is a good option here." "I want to do the right thing, but I’m not sure what the right thing is." Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community vehemently agreed that the OP would not be the a**hole if he didn't help out his father. Everyone agreed that if the OP loaned his father the money, there was no guarantee he would get himself out of the situation he put himself in, and needed to figure out how to get out of this mess himself: "NTA." "Enabling a high earning chronic spender by draining your own homes savings will only destroy your financial future."- VexytisNTA. "Stop stop stop." "Step 100 steps back from this and tell him he should go talk to a lawyer who does foreclosures/bankruptcy/debt and explore his options." "All your options are utterly premature and bad."- pottersquash "NTA." "If he makes $250k per year he will not be homeless." "He just won’t be able to keep his current home." "Given his spending history, if you lend him this money you will never be repaid." "It’s appalling that he’s asking for money at all given your relative incomes." "Pro Tip: stop telling your Dad anything about your finances or savings."- Used_Mark_7911 "Let him figure it out." "NTA."- kbug44 "NTA." "This is an adult with a higher paying job than 90% of people." "He needs to figure his life out."- dvlbrn89 "NTA and door #3." "If he can't figure out housing on $250k, then this is a problem too big for you to try to solve too."- True-Button-6471 "NTA." "He can sells a car or motorcycle or whatever it takes." "He has the money." "He just needs to liquidate his assets to get it."- AnIcyReception "NTA." "Don't involve yourself with his finances in any way."- DotBeech "NTA." "He is making making over $20k a month!" "Do not bail him out!" "The only way he will learn his lesson is to suffer through the problems he made for himself."- NotMyAltAccountToday "He makes 250k a year, even if he loses the house he won't have to be homeless." "He'll just not be a homeowner. NTA, he will just be in the same position again in 6 months."- SubarcticFarmer "NTA." "Lmao no." "He's a leech." "Please work on this in therapy, not on reddit."- thoracicbunk "Definitely do not cosign an apartment for him." "Then you're LEGALLY obligated when he doesn't pay his rent." "If he can't pay his mortgage, he's not suddenly going to become responsible and start paying his rent when he also knows you are legally on the hook for it." "At least you can choose to give him money and have it not become a legal obligation." "That being said, I also wouldn't choose to give him money, but it kind of depends on your relationship with your dad and whether you hope to preserve it." "You haven't given a lot of information in your post about your relationship with your dad, other than that he's stingy and hasn't supported you or your siblings, which makes me think you should not give him the money." "But that could also damage your relationship with him, so that's a decision only you could make." "I don't think the choice is between $30,000 and $0." "You could, for example, offer to pay his rent for the next three months and/or a security deposit without agreeing to cosign the lease with him." "You would be well within your rights to give him nothing, I want to be clear." "NTA."- why_renaissance "NTA." "My husband makes about $150k a year and we're fine despite my income being laughable and both of us having a lot of health expenses." "Your dad is in this position because he keeps making bad choices." "Don't let his bad choices become your problem." "He could probably come up with that 30k in a few months if he stops being so damn irresponsible."- Anonymous_Sad_Person "NTA." "He can move into a residential motel."- desertboots "NTA." "Don't let him take you down with him."- itsmecinder "NTA." "This is his problem to manage." "Unusual to see it in this direction; usually in these questions it's the child asking." "He should declare bankruptcy." "The primary residence is protected from seizure, and he can reclaim the mortgage while shedding the other debts." "This is also a good lesson in keeping your financial situation private." "If you hadn't revealed to him that you have the money, he wouldn't be asking for it now."- dwasifar Most people want to repay their parent's kindness and generosity when they reach adulthood. Those who do, however, grew up with loving, kind parents. And in truth, should the OP not give their father the money, they will, in fact, be repaying their father's generosity. As they will be teaching him a lesson in financial responsibility that all parents teach their children. --- ### Guy Stunned When Neighbor Mom Files Noise Complaint On Him Despite Her Baby Crying All The Time **Published:** October 6, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/laundry-baby-noise-reddit/.md Apartment quiet hours typically run from 10:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. on weekdays and 11:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m. on weekends, though exact times depend on a renter's lease and local laws. But what constitutes noise? A tenant turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after his neighbors singled him out during a building-wide meeting. National-Honeydew657 asked: "AITA for pointing out my neighbour’s loud crying baby?" The original poster (OP) explained: "I (26, male) moved into a new flat about 6 months ago. It’s a small complex with 8 apartments." "My next-door neighbors have a baby, which I assume was born around the time I moved in. The baby cries a lot, but I’ve never complained because that’s just what babies do." "Yesterday, we had a once-a-year meeting with all the residents of the complex. The property manager gave us some updates and then asked for our questions." "Out of nowhere, my neighbors told him that my washing machine is very loud and that I use it during quiet hours. They’re right, but they never told me it bothered them. If they had, I would have simply done my laundry at a different time." "I always do my laundry on Sunday evenings. I think it is a habit I learned from my parents, because my mom would always do laundry on Sunday evenings, so we had fresh clothes for the start of the week." "I got annoyed because I do laundry once a week, while their baby cries pretty much 24/7. So I said they probably shouldn’t complain about noise, which started a heated debate." "Other residents also began complaining about the baby. One lady even questioned if they are even taking care of the baby, because her babies never cried like that, which sounded pretty nasty." "The property manager eventually ended the discussion when the baby’s mother started crying." "Nothing was really resolved there, but I now feel pretty bad about starting the whole debate. They could have told me about the washing machine before bringing it up publicly, but they’re probably just exhausted parents." "AITA for saying what I did, and should I apologize to them?" OP later added: "Some answers to repeated questions:" "I checked the lease and complex rules, and there’s no specific rule banning laundry during quiet hours. There is a general rule saying tenants should avoid making noise and disturbing others." "The washing machine isn’t broken or insanely loud, but I’d say it’s louder than average. No other neighbors ever heard it, but the couple with the baby is next to me on the same floor." "I can easily do my laundry at a different time. I was just doing it on Sunday evenings out of habit. I didn’t know it was disturbing anyone." "And yes, the walls are pretty thin." Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "Eh, nta, the nerve they have to whine about the once a week laundry machine when their kid is making noise all the time (not to blame the kid, but seriously, the audacity)." "Yeah, it would be one thing to approach privately and ask nicely to change the laundry time, but complaining about it during the meeting when you're a sound terrorist for the next few years is quite audacious." ~ LynxPuzzleheaded9336 "Yup. And like, isn't a washing machine just normal living sounds? Live and Let live. They really put OP on the spot for no reason. At least don't bring it up out of nowhere in that situation." "You can also like ask in private 'hey, we would appreciate it if you do laundry in the not quiet hours'. They would have a point if it was like vacuuming at 3 AM or something as that is loud AF, but come on, a washing machine?!" "Those things should be spoken about in private.I had a neighbour that was complaining about noises as well (us walking up the stairs...) and she was coughing extremely loudly with all the windows open at night (and refusing to go to the doctor) and talking very loudly to her very loud kid all day." "Some people really have the audacity like that and I know all about it. They really think the world revolves around them and are ignorant about themselves." ~ EggplantHuman6493 "I hear my neighbors’ washing machine, shower running, and vacuum all the time. It’s mostly just white noise, whereas a screaming baby is never pleasant. Similar, I had a neighbor for a while whose dog barked ALL day, and I’m an overnight worker. The dog and baby can’t help it, but those are definitely far worse noises." ~ doingtheunstuckk "Plus, it's an apartment complex. You just deal with noises of people living. ~ FinnishMafiaFan "NTA since when do washing machines violate quiet hours? I’ve lived in several apartment and that’s never been a thing. ~ MysteryJellybean "Do other people consider things like appliances in quiet hours in apartment living? I always just considered quiet hours to be about not having parties or playing music too loud. I wouldn't run a vacuum cleaner during quiet hours, but I honestly wouldn't think about not running a dishwasher or laundry machine. ~ jellybeantetra "I used to work in a leasing office, and we did ask tenants not to do things like laundry or vacuuming during quiet hours. In many wood construction buildings the way that the sound and vibrations carry can cause the noise to be more disturbing in a neighboring room or unit." "I honestly don't think it's unreasonable to just do laundry at a different time of day. I know OP would have preferred that the neighbors go to him directly and privately, but not everyone does. When I called on noise complaints, I had a lot of tenants ask, 'Why didn't they just come talk to me instead of tattling to the office?!' "However, I also had tenants who complained that a neighbor came to their door instead of 'going through the proper channels', and some would get really confrontational about it. It can be scary to approach someone at their door because you never know how they'll react." ~ -BigGirlPants- "NTA. I'm sorry, but using a washing machine during quiet hours should not count. Not like you're having a party. Also, she's probably miserable and sleep-deprived. Still doesn't mean you're in the wrong." "Crying babies are literally torture, but still, so sorry, not unreasonable to mention. Obviously other people had some shit to say about it too." ~ ShotPaleontologist88 "The neighbor never said anything until the meeting. Maybe OP didn''t realize how loud the machine sounded to the people beside/above/below them. They could have easily pulled them aside before or after the meeting to address the washing machine, not call them out in front of everyone for something that happens once a week when they got noise going on 24/7 (not their fault but still have some self-awareness)." ~ ShotPaleontologist88 "Quiet hours, at least in my opinion, refer to excessive noise like parties, construction work (drills, hammering), maybe a loud movie or something, etc. Washer/dryer kind of doesn't really fit into that scope of things." "But they can certainly be noisy. I lived in a place where you could hear a lot of everyday things just based on how the building was built. OP didn't know, and fixed it." "I actually don't run my laundry past 8pm for this very reason of being in a noisy building in my past." ~ supercereality "NTA. I think babies are going to cry, and no one should complain about it - and up until the meeting you didn't." "However, the nerve of someone who has a constantly crying baby to complain about someone else making a bit of noise (a washing machine once a week?) is a non-starter." ~ Jolly-Masterpiece883 "NTA, they shouldn’t have complained about you first if they weren’t willing to accept criticism themselves." ~ toogoodforn7 OP provided an update: "The father actually knocked on my door today, and we had a chat. Turns out he is a really nice guy." "He apologized for putting the whole thing out publicly and explained that there were two incidents when they had finally managed to get the baby to sleep, and then my washing machine woke it up. They got super pissed about it the second time and apparently really held onto that anger." "They waited for the meeting, wanted to make it public and expected the property manager to scold me in front of everyone. We laughed together about how irrational that sounds now." "He also explained that the baby has colic. That’s why it cries a lot, and they haven’t properly slept since the birth, so that’s why they’re so irritated. On the bright side, he mentioned it is slowly getting better, and the baby sleeps for longer periods now." "I apologized for my response and admitted it was an unnecessary reaction to being called out publicly, which I didn’t like. I also told him I’m changing my laundry schedule to Fridays, when I usually work from home, so I have the whole day to do it." Communication is almost always a better choice than sounding off publicly. --- ### Parent Of Newborn Unsure How To Ask Neighbor's Child To Stop Jumping On Trampoline Late At Night **Published:** October 6, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/stop-jumping-trampoline-reddit/.md Trying to talk to a parent about their kid's behavior can be a daunting task. A lot of parents react poorly. It's understandable for a parent to be put off by the remarks of others. But sometimes... they have to be said. Redditor u/SereiaDoSofa wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. They asked: "AITA for asking my neighbor to reduce the trampoline time of his special-needs child?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "I live in an apartment with a terrace that borders my neighbor’s backyard." "His child appears to have autism or another developmental condition (I don’t know his actual diagnosis)." "Almost every evening, from around 8 PM until 11 PM, he jumps on a trampoline and screams quite loudly." "All our bedrooms face their backyard, so we hear it clearly inside our apartment." "I have a baby, and although our PVC windows block most of the noise when closed, it’s still warm, and I don’t want to keep the windows shut every evening." "There are also two apartment buildings facing their backyard, with 10+ other apartments, and as far as I know, nobody else has complained." "I don’t want them to stop using the trampoline." "I was thinking of politely messaging the father and asking if they could reduce either the amount of time he uses it or the frequency, rather than having it happen almost every evening for several hours." The OP was left to wonder: "Would I be the a**hole for sending that message?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole. "NTA. Three hours of loud screaming every evening is a noise issue regardless of why the child is doing it." "You’re not asking them to stop using the trampoline, just asking whether they can reduce the duration or frequency." "That’s a pretty reasonable neighbourly request." ~ Mohitosan_ "I don’t think either time or frequency should be a factor here." "If their special needs child wants to jump for three hours a day, I don’t see the issue." "Where there is an issue is the timing of it happening." "It’s not reasonable for neighbors to need to deal with that noise daily up to 11 pm." ~ ImNinjaBob "NTA - Anything past 9 pm is outrageous for a child to be outside making a ton of noise." "Why can't he go out earlier?" ~ Lunar-Eclipse0204 "Guessing here, but assuming the parents aren't neglectful, this might be how they can get the kid to actually sleep at night." "It might be a solution born out of sheer sleepless desperation." "That being said, everyone else also needs to sleep too." "Possible compromise: set the kid up with an indoor rebounder or smaller trampoline with additional soundproofing on the walls." "Some kids are also able to learn how to self-regulate in other ways that reduce noise." "There could maybe be some benefits to seeking some form of therapy." "From OP's side of things, there are some things that may mask the noise, such as noise machines/media playing." "Maybe there are soundproofing options for inside the house." "If the trampoline is squeaky or unbalanced, it may be louder than necessary." "Offer to assist with WD-40?" "It sounds like a very touchy subject, but it's hopefully something that all parties can work through to find an achievable goal based on mutual empathy and neighbourly respect". "Good luck!" "OP is NTA for just wanting peace and quiet at bedtime and the ability to open windows." ~ Bertie_McGee "NTA. That's way too late to be making that much noise." "Especially when other people are needing to sleep." Guarantee the parent is sending the kid outside to get themselves some peace." "Sorry, but they need to quit making this everyone else's problem." ~ Mira_DFalco "NTA. Swinging and jumping on a trampoline are 2 completely different types of sensory input and aren't always interchangeable." "Also, different amounts of energy are being used to engage." "Jumping on a trampoline for 3 hours is probably making that kid physically exhausted to the point that he can sleep." "Lots of people with ASD need to follow routines and schedules." "It is perfectly reasonable for OP to ask the parents to have the kid stop at whatever quiet hours are on the neighbor's lease." "They need to start their bedtime routine earlier or make it shorter." "Both OP and the neighbor are in tough places where they want the best thing for their own kids, but it imposes on each other." "Hopefully, OP, you can talk to the parent, explain your perspective, and they will try to accommodate you beyond what is required in the lease." ~ cee-la "An indoor swing is not a trampoline." "That’s a big difference as far as stimulating the vestibular system goes." "But I definitely agree that OP has a right to politely broach the subject of the timing of the trampoline sessions." "Or the volume." "NTA. OP, you are being extremely kind and patient with your neighbor." "My young adult son has autism and an intellectual disability." "He’s been having sleep difficulties for the last year." "Going to bed around 4 pm and getting up between 2 am and 3 am." "It’s really difficult. We’re working on it." "Sleep has always been a much trickier thing with him compared to his neurotypical brother." ~ Eudaimonic71 "Start by checking your local noise ordinances." "Some cities/towns specify certain 'quiet hours,' while others (like mine) are wide-open in prohibiting any noise that annoys/disturbs a reasonable person at any time." "If your area's noise ordinance applies to this situation/time, you need to share that information with your neighbor." "Then, record the noise from inside your home." "Take recordings over several days." "Once you have that lined up, go talk to your neighbor." "Don't say a single word about what you suspect might be the kid's medical challenges; that would be likely to make their parents defensive." "Focus ONLY on the noise and the timing." "If they push back, you can talk about the noise ordinance (if it applies) and share your recordings." "Again, don't mention anything about the kid, and don't let them offer anything like that as an excuse; stick to the noise and the timing." "NTA for asking politely." ~ wesmorgan1 "NTA - There are indoor jumpers (a mini tramp with handles) meant exactly for this purpose (I used to do admin support at a behavioral therapy agency), as well as other indoor tools for kids who are high-sensory seeking." "I'm sure the parents also want a break from the chaos, but they need to accept that this is their reality and not torture their neighbors with 3 HOURS of evening screaming." ~ Kelly_Bellyish "Don't send a message; go and have a conversation with him." "Explain about the noise." "Tone of voice helps if you keep it calm and polite." "I'm sure there must be a workaround." "Could just say the noise wakes your baby up every time." "You are both parents, so hopefully some compromise could come from having a face-to-face conversation." "It's easy to send a message, but the sentiment and intention of that message could seriously go the wrong way." ~ LockPast6301 "Oof. NTA." "Trampolines are very popular with autistic kids (including mine) - something about vestibular input, plus it doubles as stimming." "Three hours of daily nighttime screaming as part of it, however, is just unreasonable." "I'm sure the parent is painfully aware of that, but they're probably desperate and/or worn down." "There's no perfect solution for something like this (especially in an apartment, and triply so if they have downstairs neighbors), but indoor mini trampolines, and trampoline alternatives like bounce boards, are available." "Whether that will do anything to fix the screaming, though..." ~ RishaBree "NTA. Three hours of screaming is rough." "The parents should be working on that with him." "Using the trampoline is great; the screaming is not." ~ CharieRarie "NTA, but I'd honestly, directly, call the H O A or cops about this one." "Just about every community has noise ordinances that include quiet hours." "It's going to blow back on you if the neighbor knows who complained, so just make it anonymous and let the people who are paid to deal with this kind of stuff manage it." ~ HomelyHobbit OP came back to chat... "Where we live, our neighbor's noise can still be considered a problem between 7 AM and 11 PM." "The police can ask them to stop within a set timeframe, but I don’t want to call the police straight away, so I’d rather message the father first." "I know it’s a trampoline because I can see it from my terrace." "The trampoline itself seems well-oiled; the issue is the screaming." "I’m also not randomly assuming the child has special needs." "A while ago, he threw some things onto my terrace, so I knocked on their door to return them." "His father apologized for his son’s behavior, and from the way he spoke about it, I understood that his son has special needs." "I think they are good parents and are just trying to help their child." "He’s in elementary school and may need routines to sleep, but he didn’t use the trampoline at all last winter, so it seems to be a summer thing." "My 15-month-old also needs his sleep routine, so I’m just hoping we can find a compromise that works for everyone." "Some people suggested speaking to the building manager, but their house isn’t part of our building, and I’m actually the building manager anyway, so that wouldn’t really help." This is a tough spot, OP. You're not trying to be malicious. There has to be a compromise. You can't sacrifice your own child's needs. Hopefully, this dad will understand. Good Luck. --- ### Teen Berated For 'Humiliating' Thieving Mom In Front Of Neighbor By Confronting Her About Money She Stole **Published:** October 6, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/teen-humiliates-mother-reddit/.md As children, we are told to respect our elders. And unjust as it may seem, it is important for children to speak respectfully to their parents and guardians, even when they speak sternly to us. Most of the time, they do have our best interests in mind. Sometimes, however, our emotions get the better of us, and we speak in a way we normally wouldn't. The younger we are, the more difficult it is to control our emotions. Redditor bubblcrab had a somewhat complicated relationship with her mother. Mainly because the original poster (OP) had more responsibilities than most people their age. However, after discovering that their mother broke their trust, the OP found themselves letting their mother have it. Something their neighbors happened to witness as well. Having some doubts about their behavior, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors: "AITA for losing my sh*t on my mom and humiliating her in front of our neighbor?" The OP explained why they felt compelled to confront their mother in a rather public manner: "I live with my mom. I started working last year after my dad passed away. I don’t make much but I’ve been saving everything I can for a trip to Europe.""It’s been my childhood dream so Ive cut back on things I wanted, like going out on weekends and partying." "My mom knew how hard I was working and how much this trip meant to me." "Last month I got paid extra for working overtime and decided to use that money to buy a new monitor for my PC." "Mine had had a huge vertical line on the screen for 3 months." "I could afford it without touching my savings or the money I contributed to the household." "She knew about the overtime pay so she asked to borrow some money." "She’d gotten into a car accident bc she was on her phone and rear-ended another car at a red light." "She’d already spent way too much that month on shopping and other things, and the amount she needed was more than I’d made from overtime anyway." "I explained that I couldn’t lend her the money because it already had a purpose." "I also couldn’t touch the money I used for household expenses or I’d end up in the red and have to work extra hours the following month." "I told her she could wait until the next month and pay for it herself since it wasn’t an emergency." "The situation passed." "Until last week." "I left my phone at home.next day I went grocery shopping and my Apple Pay wasn’t working." "I logged into my bank account to pay with a QR code instead and my heart f*cking dropped." "Part of my balance was missing." "I started checking my transactions while having a panic attack in the store, and I found it." "She’d transferred the exact amount we’d argued about into her own account." "She had my passwords because I’d set up my bank account with her help." "I never thought she’d do something like that." "I know I was stupid for not securing my account properly, but I genuinely trusted her." "She’s my mom." "I came home, and I found her outside and completely lost my sh*t." "I told her she had no right to take my money that I’d worked for it." "I called her an ungrateful bitch and told her I wasn’t going to help with anything beyond my agreed share of the household expenses anymore." "I’d pay half, and she could figure out the rest." "I wasn’t going to be the idiot paying for everything at 17 while she, a grown-ass woman, spent money on pointless sh*t." "Of course, she started crying, saying she’d only borrowed the money and was going to pay me back like she always did." "Idfc, she had no right to take it without my permission especially because I NEEDED THAT MONEY THAT WEEK TO BUY MY MONITOR." "I was yelling so loudly that our neighbor came outside and heard the whole thing." "She said I was trying to humiliate her in front of everyone." "Anyways I grabbed a few things, shoved them into my everyday backpack, and went to my aunt’s house." "I’ve been here ever since. she also called my aunt and started saying sh*t about what kind of daughter abandons her own mother and leaves her home alone." "AITA?" Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for confronting their mother. While some did feel that the OP overreacted, they otherwise agreed that the OP's mother deserved to be put in her place, pointing out that what she did was theft, and expressing that her teenage child shouldn't be supporting the household as much as they were in the first place: "NTA that's theft and she knew it." "If you haven't already, change your passwords."- xMissingMusic "1. Thats theft." "2. You're a minor and you shouldn't be contributing to household expenses." "Thats your mom's job." "I understand times are tough." "But she's responsible for caring for you." "Look up parentification." "NTA."- vinegargirl757 "NTA." "When it comes to a parent stealing from their own child, I will never consider a verbal crashout worthy of being called the A H." "She deserved the humiliation."- Stock_Particular6525 "NTA." "Overreaction." "Maybe, but you weren't intending to humiliate your mother in public." "You just got into in public and she felt humiliated." "Secure your bank account."- rockology_adam "NTA." "That was theft."- moot888 "NTA." "She didn't take no for an answer and tried to guilt-trip you while stealing your money." "You can help but you have no obligation." "You're not the mom."- BetternotPunk "NTA." "But don't count on seeing that money now." "If I were you I'd change ALL my passwords and move in permanently with my aunt." "Your mom is a grown adult and doesn't need her child paying her bills."- moonshadowhowl "NTA." "If she didn't want to be humiliated, she shouldn't have stolen from her child." "I'd see if you could stay with your aunt on a more permanent basis."- FatTabby "NTA this happened to me."- deerpato "1] Get her name off all your accounts and change your password." "2] You say your dad passed away; are you not getting survivor benefits? At 16, that becomes your money legally." "3] It sounds like your mom is using you to relieve her grief and financial stress, not ok! I'm a widow with kids myself and that's super f**ked up behavior!" "You shouldn't be paying any bills in your home, you're a kid still." "It might be worth discussing all this with a trusted adult and see what can be done to right this whole situation." "Even if that means moving out permanently and forcing your mom to be an adult." "I'm so sorry you're going through all this." "NTA..so much."- Over-Method-1216 "NTA." "'Saying she’d only borrowed the money and was going to pay me back'." "She asked to borrow it." "You said no." "Then she stole it." "It's not borrowing." "It's stealing, even if she planned to put it back eventually." "''What kind of daughter abandons her own mother and leaves her home alone'." "Who does she think the parent is in this relationship?" "'At 17'." "Whoa!" "She is putting way too much on you." "I get needing everyone to chip in because things are tight, but your mom has crossed over, consciously or not, into just taking advantage of you." "I'm sorry." "That really sucks." "FWIW if I found out my niece was having this kind of problem with her parents, she would absolutely be welcome with me." "We would figure it out." "If your aunt will have you, stay there."- thefanciestcat "NTA." " If you can stay with your aunt, stay there." "Your mother stole from you."- Jonathan-Welford "NTA." "Your mother seems to have misunderstood something," "It's a child you don't leave home alone, not a grown woman."- AcanthocephalaOne285 "NTA." "It doesn't matter that she is your mother, it does not matter that she 'planned to pay it back'." "What she did was legit THEFT." "She asked, you told her no and she proceeded to take it anyway because she felt entitled to your money." "What she did is a crime and frankly, you should be reporting this to your bank and disputing it with your bank, even if it means filing a police report." "Also, change any and all passwords to your accounts that she has access to." "You are still a minor in the eyes of the law, it is not your job to be paying for her mistakes, she is the adult not you."-PreferenceOld6364 There's no denying that being yelled at in public is very humiliating. That said, the OP wasn't trying to humiliate their mother, and if she'd simply left the OP's hard-earned money alone, none of this would have happened. Something the OP might want to consider while she's "home alone" is what kind of mother relies on her teenage children to support her... --- ### Redditor Refuses To Change Laundry Detergent After Neighbor Complained Smell Lingers In Shared Machine **Published:** October 6, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/change-laundry-detergent-reddit/.md Living in an apartment building that has communal rooms such as a laundry room, a fitness center, or a roof also comes with a sometimes lengthy list of rules in order to use them. To stay in the good graces of the landlord or management, most people follow those rules, whether or not they agree with them. Sometimes, other residents feel the need to lay down rules of their own, sometimes for the sake of productivity and safety, but more often for their own convenience. Other residents usually feel much less inclined to follow them. Redditor heuglywitch lived in an apartment building with a shared laundry room. During a recent round of laundry, the original poster (OP) was surprised to discover a note from another resident asking them to make a change to their laundry routine. A change the OP wasn't the least bit interested in obliging. Wondering if they were wrong for feeling this way, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole Here?" (AITAH). Unlike the similar 'Am I The A**Hole' (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Voting acronyms aren't required, and no final judgment is declared. The OP asked fellow Redditors: "Neighbor left a note about Laundry Detergent, AITAH for not wanting to switch detergents?" The OP explained why a neighbor's note left a bad smell in their nose: "Sorry this is kind of uninteresting but I just bought more laundry detergent, I need to use more natural stuff and I like my laundry to smell good so I use the brand zum in an amber scent." "I accidentally left the rest of my almost empty detergent in my shared apartment laundry room (there’s just 1 washer for context) and someone left a note on it saying:" "'Hi, just so you know, your laundry detergent leaves a scent on other people's clothes who use the machine after you. My skin is super sensitive and has a reaction to this'." "I just bought a new one (the same exact kind) it’s something I splurge on because I have sensitive skin as well and it’s the only kind I’ve tried that works good for me." "I also don’t have a lot of money to go out and buy a new one and risk it irritating my own skin." "Am I the a**hole for continuing to use the same laundry detergent?" Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community was somewhat divided. The Reddit community largely saw both sides of this conflict, with many agreeing that people shouldn't be able to dictate what their neighbors can and cannot do, but that skin sensitivities are real and the OP might want to take that into consideration to come up with a compromise or an alternative solution: "I don’t know what my judgment is, but I will say that Zum is known for having strong, unconventional scents (for laundry detergents) that linger." "Just make sure the cap is closed and take the bottle to your apartment." "If it’s possible, run your clothes through an extra rinse cycle, for your benefit, as well."- PrpleSparklyUnicrn13 "I have bad skin sensitivities to fragrances and have had to ban my husband from using the smelly laundry detergent he loves even if he just uses it on his own loads of laundry because yes, the smell does permeate the machine and gives me a skin reaction later." "Don’t know how to deal with this in a shared space, truly, but it is absolutely a thing and I sympathize with her."- winter_bluebird "NTA, but in the interest of being neighborly, if there's an 'extra rinse' option on the machine you could use that to try to mitigate it."-WheresMyMule "NAH but Zum is a terribly ineffective detergent that actually makes it harder to get your clothing clean and causes buildup in the washer." "The only thing it is effective at is making everything smell like the fragrance." "You should switch to something that will actually clean your clothes, come by r/laundry to find something that will be more effective for you."- crankylex "NTA." "Consider if you are using too much possibly?" "Most people are overdoing the soap." "Also is no one else using this machine?!"- Certain_Tangelo2329 "Use half of what they recommend per load."- Both-Statistician179 "Using Zum in a shared machine is AH territory."- notacoolkid "NAH but maybe you could try using less, the note is just a polite request to be mindful imo- not a demand that you use another detergent." "Maybe a rinse cycle in the empty washer after you’re done to get rid of residue?"- HabitualEnthusiast "NAH." "Zum is basically all scent and no soap, you should consider switching to something that works better." "Anything you wash in it will smell funky once the laundry scent wears off because it doesn't actually clean."- zerbyd "There’s a good case for not using any scented laundry products at all these days." "There is absolutely no safety testing for any fragrance ingredient and it’s disturbing how many people report harm from fragrance." "1 out of 3 people reports being harmed by other people’s fragrance in the latest surveys - and it’s almost certainly higher than that now since the last survey on it was a few years ago." "Companies lie to people and make them believe that their scented products are enjoyable and safe for everyone." "They are not."- Anxious_Section_2359 "Would an extra rinse cycle help OPs situation?"- Low-Cod-4712 "I'm going to go against the grain and say NAH." "If her skin is irritated, that sucks." "Also her laundry shouldn't smell like yours." "She's not an AH for asking.But you're right, its a shared room." "You're not an AH for using what you need." "Personally, I would way downsize the amount I use." "A lot of companies are selling concentrates, and people are measuring incorrectly." "My husband did this, and the whole house smelled like one of my favorite scents so bad I got a migraine, and now it's not my favorite scent anymore." "I also would check my favorite brand and see if maybe there's a more neutral scent, like fresh rain or a baked snickerdoodle or something." "I despise the 'amber' scents." "Just an idea."- Armadillo_of_doom "Idk." "I’m kind of on the neighbors' side; if it’s sticking in the machine, maybe try using less?" "Or if you know who it is, try and speak to them about it and come to some kind of agreement or something, cos it’s fair enough if you’re leaving enough to give them a rash, which is out of their control but in yours (as much as it sucks)." "Like yes you technically have the right to use what you want, but just personally I wouldn’t want to cause someone else skin irritation if I could help it- unless this is the only detergent you specifically can use yourself?" "Tallow and Ash does a pretty gentle sensitive but nice-smelling laundry detergent!"- First-Strawberry-398 "Kind of ta.. it's a shared washing machine." "If you use products so strong that even people washing after you have it on their clothes, that's a problem and you need to change it or get your own machine."- Freestila "Since it sounds like you haven’t opened it yet you might try returning it for one of their lighter scents or another natural brand." "Even though you only received this note from one person it’s likely you are leaving residue on everyone’s laundry."- DConstructed "NAH, I see both sides." "I get eczema so, so bad from scented detergent and it can quickly spiral out of control and make my life hell." "On the other hand, I hate being controlled and you have every right to use your detergent." "However, it does seem like you’re using way too much."- lightningbu_g "NTA." "However, you could also run the washer thru a rinse cycle after you wash to rinse out the residue you left."- Shot-Manager-5506 "Kinda a**holish." "Depends on how you move forward here for a true asshole verdict." "I had to look up 'Zum' and some of those scents would trigger my asthma or send me into a sneezing fit." "So I understand if your neighbor having a worse reaction." "Is this a free machine or is it a pay machine?" "If free -Try using less detergent til you use what you have up (most of us add too much to begin with, this may lessen the residual smell)." "Run the machine empty after you do your load, add vinegar." "I looked at the website, they make dryer balls with your amber scent, this may be the answer to keeping your scent without the detergent." "If a pay machine -Head to the laundromat til you use up the detergent." "You'll most likely be able to do larger loads at a better price." "The machines will spin better, dry faster because they are maintained better."- HCIBSW Everyone has their personal preferences when it comes to household brands and appliances. One of the main shortcomings of sharing a laundry room. If you can't help but wonder whether the OP would have gotten a note if they hadn't left their detergent out that one time, now that they have, maybe they can find a compromise. That shouldn't mean switching detergents. --- ### New Mom Called Out For 'Favoring Her Own Mom Over Mother-In-Law' As Caregiver Post-Surgery **Published:** October 5, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/mother-caregiver-surgery-reddit/.md When it comes to reassurance and comfort, people are more likely to want someone they have an established, loving relationship with. But should they give equal consideration and time to their significant other's support system? A wife turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after her husband objected to her pick8ng her mother to help her with surgery and recovery. Last_Wonder asked: "AITA for preferring my own mom to my mother-in-law (MIL)?" The original poster (OP) explained: "My (35, female) husband (42, male) and I are first time parents to a 4-month-old baby and he works long hours, so I’m with the baby alone most of the time. I had a traumatic birth and emergency c-section, so I had my mom staying with me the first few weeks postpartum as I healed." "My MIL was coming 2-3 times a week to visit the baby as well during that time. I don’t mind my MIL, she’s nice enough, but we’re not exactly close." "We have a very formal, polite relationship. I went from seeing her once every 6-8 weeks before baby to now a couple of times a week so it’s been a big jump in visits already." "While I don’t dread them, it still feels like an item to 'check off' on my list." "My husband felt it wasn’t fair that I was relying on my mom so much, but I struggled to see his point of view as it seems natural to prefer your own mom and it’s not like I was excluding his mom. I doubt his first call in an emergency would be to my mom over his." "I already spend more one-on-one time with his mother than he does." "Fast forward to now, I’m about to have minor surgery to my eye that I’m a bit scared about. I’m getting my mom to take me and to come back to our house for the next couple of days to stay with me while I heal." "I’ve made sure we’re seeing my MIL two nights in a row before my surgery so it’s 'even', but my husband is still complaining that I’m favouring my own mom by wanting her by my side and for her staying over. I don’t see the problem, but his insistence on everything being 'fair' (fair to WHO by the way?) are wearing me down and making me want to include my MIL less." "He finds my mother 'annoying' and leaves the room/house when she’s over sometimes, which makes his objections about my preference even more absurd!" "I don’t feel like I should need to sacrifice my own comfort here. It’s not like my MIL made much of an effort to get to know me pre-baby, she only started coming over (literally for the first time to our house) once the baby was born, so I think it’s fair to assume she isn't coming to see me." "If he was having surgery and for whatever reason I was unable to be there, I would never assume he'd call my mom before his own. Hence why I want my mom to take care of ME after the procedure." "AITA?" Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "NTA. My first husband insisted that his father and stepmother stay at our house instead of my mother when I gave birth, because it was his father's first grandchild and my mom already had two." "No thought to the fact that I would NEED my mom to help me recover. That marriage failed. The birth issue was the first big clue for me that my husband was a self-centered, controlling a**hole." ~ Runneymeade "My mom was a blessing after my c-section. I imagine your mom was actually helping you. And now your MIL comes over 2-3 times a week, to hold the baby." "Once a week would be too much for me. I totally understand wanting your mom there." ~ PurplePanicAC "Go over to your mom's house instead and tell hubby that he and his mommy can hang out together all they want." ~ Melia100 "NTA. This is so bizarre and ridiculous from your husband. It is completely natural to want to have your mom by your side during health issues and traumatic and stressful times. Obviously, you have a level of comfort and intimacy with your own mom over MIL that you had a surface-type relationship with." "You are already bending yourself backwards by having her stay 2 nights in a row: the need to do this in itself is ridiculous, but having your husband complain after that is just... I have no words. And of course your MIL is there to see baby, I don't even think she would want to help YOU in the way your mom is and will help YOU." "You are already sacrificing your comfort and your rest by having her visit so much. I would reduce my efforts, nothing you do relating this will be enough for him. I would try to have a calm, but firm, conversation with him and tell him that if from now on your MIL visits more than x times in y period of time, he is solely responsible for the visit and the baby." "If it has to be on days he has off work, then so be it. I am so sorry your husband is treating you this way after everything you have been through and all the issues you are dealing with." "Stand up for yourself and lean more on your mom if you have to. Best of luck for your surgery and recovery. Try to enjoy the precious moments with your bundle of joy, since raising a newborn can be a lot of stress and work! Especially with your complicated birth." ~ AlexandraG94 "NTA. Why didn't he ever complain to his mom pre-baby to get to know you and have a relationship with you? Now it's your responsibility to be the primary caretaker to a small baby and build a relationship with his mom?" "What about his mom? She doesn't have to put the effort to know you? If the baby's relationship to his mother is important to him, both he and his mother need to pull their weight." "It's not your job to manage a grandmother-grandchild relationship, especially when you're recovering from surgery. What is his relationship with your mother and does he do childcare equally with you? Since he's so keen on being fair? ~ sb0212 "NTA—tell him when he has the baby by himself, he can call his mom. He can take the baby by himself to visit his mom. Next time he’s sick, has a baby or surgery, he can call his mom. She is HIS mom. But when you need help, YOUR mom will be your first call." ~ 9smalltowngirl "NTA. It’s natural to want your support person to be someone who you feel comfortable with and are close to, which in this case is your mother." "Has your MIL even said anything to your husband about feeling left out? Or is he assuming that she feels left out? It feels like he’s trying to force a different kind of relationship between the two of you instead of letting it happen naturally." ~ tictactowbar "Hubby can have OP’s mom go to his next few prostate exams and see how comfortable he is with that. It’s OP’s medical care, she should have the support person that makes her comfortable. Fair doesn’t factor into caregiving that way." ~ HelloThere4123 "Whoever gives the best care, assistance and comfort to OP and the baby wins here. And it's OP's mom, especially since they're very close. It's not like the MiL is being deprived. Her presence is not just the same as OP's mom. The husband should realize that you can't just force closeness like that." ~ IceSeeker "He should be grateful your mom is so willing to help while you heal and find your feet. Imagine keeping score while your wife is recovering from so much physically over the last months - talk about selfish!" ~ shrimpandshooflypie "You're NTA. You recovering from surgery is not a time for bonding with your MIL. I assume he is worried that this means your mom gets more time with the baby. If this is the case, then he can organize time to take the baby to his mom. Perhaps that would be a good weekend activity for him." "If he complains, I would tell him that in this situation, being there is his job. If he isn't going to do it then you get to choose your mom. I get having to work a lot, but there is a point where work destroys home life. If he is upset about these things, he either needs to fix the work-life balance so he can be there, or not comment." ~ Both-Enthusiasm708 OP provided a short update: "My MIL is not a bad person, but she is definitely not interested in me at all. But I have no doubt she loves my baby." "I don’t know if my MIL wants to be there for my surgery. I’d imagine she would want to be there to hold the baby….but I’m actually really scared and I want my mom there for ME." "I wouldn’t ever stop their relationship because I WANT my son to be surrounded by people that love him." "And at the same time, that doesn’t mean I have to 'choose her' over my mother at any time. I will be choosing the people that choose me." "My MIL doesn’t even look at me when she gets to my house; she just straight up looks at/greets the baby. Then me." OP's mom isn’t going to be there to primarily provide childcare. She'll be caring for her own child, OP. Whoever is best qualified for that should be who does it. --- ### Woman Objects After Parents Expect Them To Donate $5k To Help Pay For Family Friend's Vet Bill **Published:** October 5, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/donate-vet-bill-reddit/.md People who are dealing with unexpected bills, especially for medical expenses, often turn to fundraising. But are people obligated to help? A woman with a difference of opinion from her parents turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback. Any-Garbage-5005 asked: "AITA by refusing to donate to my parents' friends' child’s dog's medical bills?" The original poster (OP) explained: "Wow, what a title. Anywho, I (48, female) was just asked to donate to my parents' friends' kid's dog's medical bills. The kid (46, female), we will call her Amy." "Amy was unfortunately involved in a terrible accident which left her a quadriplegic when she was a child. My parents have helped them a lot in the past with things, you know, not financially, but just being good friends over the last 40 years." "Amy‘s parents spend a lot of time bragging about their oldest son, Michael. Michael is a genius, Michael excels at everything academically, Michael is making so much money, Michael is so wealthy, Michael this, Michael that." "Amy’s parents did not know my financial situation because my parents do not brag about it like hers do. Amy‘s parents have always supported her financially while she lives independently in Los Angeles while we all live over on the East Coast." "Amy has a service dog and she did not have any pet insurance. Her dog now requires $15,000 of medical treatment. Both Amy’s parents and my parents are hounding me saying that I should contribute to this." "They 'encouraged' me to contribute 'at least $5k'. I have not seen or spoken to Amy in probably 25 years. We just have never been friends. We weren’t even friends before the accident." "My parents gave money to Amy’s parents to help with the bills and they both are upset with me that I won’t pitch in. I’m having a hard time understanding why I would be responsible here. I have three children and a terminally ill spouse." "They just see the businesses we own and feel entitled. I asked my mom why she’s making me feel bad and she said 'you love your purses and fancy clothes'." "I’m kind of baffled that they think they are entitled to my money. We have worked hard to build our businesses (we’re not billionaires). I am so confused and offended." "But I am wondering, AITA here?" Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "NTA. Not your circus, not your monkeys. Just keep saying no. Your parents can donate if they feel so strongly about it." ~ tired-as-f "NTA, no idea why you'd blow 5k on a stranger even without all your other stuff going on. The ask is frankly wild." ~ Elivercury "Seriously. Even if OP was a billionaire, $5k is a huge ask for someone they haven’t spoken to in 25 years. The entitlement from both sets of partners is wild." ~ vrelzondor "I would say to them, 'I have three children and a terminally ill spouse. This is not something I can do right now'. These people are tone deaf." ~ Ok-Inspection7155 "NTA. Tell them you will be happy to if they can donate $10 thousand for your spouse’s medical treatment." ~ Individual-Paint7897 "NTA. No one is entitled to a donation, regardless of how worthy the cause." ~ Impossible_Zebra8664 "NTA. People feel super entitled to money that is not theirs.You don’t really know her, you’re not friends. You have your own responsibilities in your life. Yeah, it sucks what happened to her, but that is not your issue." ~ Left_Set_5610 "This seems like one of those situations where your parents want you to invite all of their friends to your wedding, and you're like, what? I don't even know these people?" "These people are obviously very important to your parents, and they sound pretty invested in Amy and her plight, but it really has nothing to do with you. NTA." ~ anthropocene2000 "As a terminally ill spouse, if anyone asked my husband to pay $5k for a dog that isn’t ours and a person he hasn’t seen in 25 years would be a hard pass." "Cancer treatments are expensive, and we are never 100% sure what the year entails for medical costs (yes, I max my out-of-pocket every year), so that $5k stays with the person who earned it." "I would sit down with your parents and walk them through it. That may open their eyes to it being much bigger than just a dog." ~ PleasantClub8495 "NTA. Amy's issues have nothing to do so with you. If her parents can financially support Amy while she lives LA, which has a very high cost of living, then they most likely have enough resources to pay for her dog's vet bills." "Or their son could help pay. It makes absolutely no sense that they would expect a distant acquaintance to provide thousands of dollars. No sense." "Turn around and ask them for money instead: 'I'm so sorry to hear about Amy's dog. I'm dealing with a lot with my terminally ill spouse while also raising three children. Out medical expenses are quite high. Is there any way you could make a donation toward paying our medical debt?'." ~ teresajs "NTA seems like their favorite child Michael should pay for it with all his success and money. You have many financial needs and are in no way obliged to pay for any of this. They are so entitled." ~ GimmeAllThePBJs "Nta. Amy’s parents have been using your parents for the last 40 years and have done so much brainwashing that your parents think that since they have been a slave to them, you should be too. This should have been nipped in the bud years ago. Amy seems to already have parents, a rich brother and your parents to boot. Whom do you have to help ? Your 3 kids should come before any Amy. Cut off your parents fully if they are not there for your kids. You will find so much more peace." ~ LifeAsksAITA OP provided an update: "Thank you. I was losing my mind wondering if I was missing something. I kept asking my parents why Micheal can’t pay? Why doesn’t she have pet insurance? Why don’t you ask her other family members?" "It’s not something that even makes sense. My husband isn’t like in hospice yet, but he has brain cancer and yeah it’s not an immediate death, but the decline is torturous to watch." "Today I had probably about three too many drinks at my house watching football with my 2 sisters (46) and (50) and our twin brothers (52). Also my parents were there. My husband is currently doing inpatient recovery between treatments." "My sisters are complete pot stirrers but ALWAYS on my side. So….they brought it up because I told them about it and they were pissed. They asked our parents why Amy’s family didn’t ask them for the money for the dog and played it off like they would have loved to help them pay for it. Played dumb not knowing the requested dollar amount." "My parents sat up and my dad says that’s why they got us all together was to ask us all to pitch in. Which is honestly completely ridiculous and not believable, my dad’s decline began years ago and we didn’t see it but it’s very noticeable when he hollers out of pocket sh*t like that. I just sat there, silent for about 10 minutes as my sisters interrogated my parents about the details of this dog’s exact needs." "CUE OUR BROTHERS, they hunt. They love dogs. They think they’re experts and know everything in life—it’s actually hysterical. Our brothers start getting all offended because they didn’t ask them for advice. So they start getting into it with my parents." "By this point we have danced around the issue for too long that I snap and yell, 'THEY F*CKING CO-SIGNED ON AMY'S PARENTS' $4,999.99 VENMO REQUESTS, WHY THE F*CK WOULD THEY SEND A VENMO REQUEST IF YOU DIDN’T TELL THEM TO?” "All four of my siblings jaws dropped. Apparently I forgot to mention the Venmo request to my sisters, and my brothers knew nothing. I honestly don’t remember much of what my siblings yelled at my parents for like a half hour. My brothers have always been my protectors and my sisters my best friends, so they absolutely lost their minds on our parents." "So honestly, I just sat there and let them help me. They certainly got through to our parents how wildly inappropriate and downright offensive this all was to do to me at this time of my life. They demanded that my parents sit down with Amy’s parents to discuss this or they (my brothers) planned on visiting them later this week. I’ll keep you posted!" Then OP added another update: "The dog died. I sh*t you not, the dog is dead. She died last night. Now I am just waiting for another Venmo request to help pay for a new dog. I’ll let you know." OP isn't responsible for anyone else's family. She has her own family crisis to deal with. --- ### Graphic Designer Balks After Boyfriend Expects Them To Pay For His Sister's Editing Software Subscription **Published:** October 5, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/guilt-stepsister-subscription-reddit/.md Guilt can be a powerful motivator. Some people weaponize guilt to get what they want. Other people are susceptible to feeling guilty even when they haven't done anything wrong. A woman turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback over her feelings of guilt. Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. No-Payment-653 asked: "AITAH for not paying for a subscription for my boyfriend’s stepsister?" The original poster (OP) explained: "My boyfriend (28, male) and I have been together for almost three years. We’re mostly long-distance. His family lives in Florida, while I’m based in Asia, so I haven’t actually met them in person yet." "My boyfriend is a huge family guy and loves his siblings very much. He has six younger siblings on his mom’s side, and he’s always wanted me to be involved with his younger brothers and sisters." "It’s important to him, so it became important to me too." "About a year and a half ago, one of his stepsisters (19, female) became interested in learning graphic design, which is the field I work in (I’m an art director/designer). We started having lessons once a week, usually around 40 minutes to an hour. I genuinely enjoy our calls. She’s bright, smart, and eager to learn, and teaching her has also helped me feel closer to his siblings despite never meeting them in person." "To help her learn, I gave her access to my personal account for the design programs I use. Honestly, I was never entirely comfortable sharing my personal login and password, but the subscription costs around $60/month, and I know their family is tight on money, so I thought sharing my account was the easiest solution." "Here’s where the problem started." "A couple of months ago, my company changed how we access our design programs. When I first joined, it was a startup, so they literally sent me money every month to pay for the subscription through my personal account. Now that the company has grown and become more structured, they purchased the software directly and connected it to our company email and system." "Because of that, I cancelled my personal subscription. Naturally, my boyfriend’s stepsister lost access. She messaged me today saying she couldn’t log in anymore, and I explained what happened. She was very appreciative and said she would talk to her stepfather about getting her own subscription. Later, she came back and said it was too expensive and asked whether I could share my work account instead." "I told her I could double-check with HR on Monday, but I highly doubt I’m allowed to do that. My work email is connected to the company’s central drive and other company resources, so obviously I’m not comfortable giving someone outside the company access to it." "There’s been some back and forth about finding another way for her to access the programs, and I’ve started feeling guilty. At the same time, I don’t really feel like paying for her subscription should be my responsibility. I feel like that should fall on her parents. I suggested looking into a student discount, but she doesn’t think she qualifies because none of the siblings attend college. They were homeschooled throughout their lives." "This is where things became tense between my boyfriend and me." "He has his own frustrations with his mom and stepfather. They frequently have financial problems, and his younger siblings have lived pretty sheltered lives. He has also sent his family money here and there over the years." "Today, while we were talking about the subscription situation, I told him that I feel bad for his siblings because I think it’s unfair that they’re in this position because of choices their parents have made regarding their education and finances. He got really angry with me and said I was out of line for saying that." "I understand why that comment upset him, and I do feel guilty about it. I know it’s his family, and I probably crossed a boundary by criticizing his parents." "But the whole subscription situation is also making me uncomfortable because I’m starting to feel like there’s an expectation that I should just pay for it and make the problem go away." "I don’t feel like I’ve been unwilling to help his family. When my company gave me a work laptop, I gave my old laptop to my boyfriend. When he eventually bought himself a new one, he asked if he could give my old laptop to his siblings, and I agreed. I make time for weekly design lessons with his sister, and I’ve sent his siblings gifts for Christmas and New Year." "I genuinely care about them." "But paying for this subscription would mean committing to around $60/month for more than a year, and there’s also a cancellation fee if I end the contract early. I could technically afford it, but I know I would feel resentful paying for something because I felt pressured or guilted into doing it." "At the same time, I feel terrible for his stepsister. She wants to learn, she’s motivated, and none of this is her fault. I have a stable job, I travel, and I’ve built a comfortable setup for myself, so part of me keeps wondering whether I’m being selfish when I’m in a position where I could help her." "AITAH for not wanting to pay for her subscription?" Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not wrong to not pay $720 for software for her boyfriend’s sister (NTA). "She’s 19. She needs to get a job and then she can buy the subscription herself. If her family won’t let her for whatever reason, not your problem. NTA." ~ MaddyKet "Assuming she can't get a job for whatever reason, why is the boyfriend not offering to pay for it?" ~ londonerinberlin "That is the other obvious solution if she can't pay for it herself. If he wants it for her, he pays for it.I do question however if she's 19 with no formal education and she's not studying in higher education, how viable a career path this is for her." ~ Beth21286 "Makes me wonder how many other 'girlfriends' he’s got that are on the hook for buying things/free services. His reaction doesn’t sound like he’s very invested in the relationship; he’s just in it for a free ride." ~ Glum-Avocado-9404 "OP doesn't even say that anyone asked her to pay for the subscription. She just feels guilty because she had previously provided it and now doesn't." ~ PeacefulCW "She needs to check resources, sometimes libraries have vast catalogs of lessons and tools for learning." ~ Negative-Bottle-776 "Yeah, as long as we're not talking VERY specialized or niche applications, she very likely can find free or cheaper alternatives that she at least can make do with for the time being. And figuring out how to get that going is a useful thing to learn anyway." "Like come on, there's free open-source software like GIMP and Krita and Inkscape. Likely many more which I'm simply not aware of. They might not fully rival professional software like their Adobe Suite equivalents, but you sure can teach yourself a solid basis using those free options, especially the actual learning and understanding concepts and methods part (i.e. what's most important)." ~ IchPutzHierNurMkay "In this day and age, someone insisting they need a $60 per month subscription to a particular design software is likely on the grift. Either that, or too stupid to think of a creative solution for themselves. If the latter, then probably not cut for a job in the creative arts, if we're brutally honest." ~ ChaoticR8chel "They do not hand out adobe subscriptions at the library, sadly. But there are def free or much cheaper alternatives, they're not industry standard but if you're just learning it's fine I think." ~ kreludorian "At 19 it isn’t on a quasi-stranger overseas to bankroll her career tools, especially when OP already invested time, teaching, and even a laptop. Wanting to help ≠ being financially responsible for her." "Maybe the kinder middle ground is pointing her toward free/cheaper software while keeping boundaries firm with boyfriend and > his family." ~ Lost-Image-1367 "NTA. Do NOT talk to HR about this. The answer is 1,000% you're not allowed to share your work login for anything. ANYTHING." "The only things talking to HR will accomplish are letting you feel like you 'tried' and waving a big red flag in HR's face. They know where you are logging in from and for what you're logging in." "The only real question is are you willing to buy boyfriend’s sister a subscription or not. There really aren't other options." ~ authorinthesunset "I work in business in a related field, and I can tell you, absolutely do not ask HR and do not share your login. You can get fired and rightfully so if you give an outsider access to company systems." "It’s easy to track where logins come from, and it’s easy to pin it on you. Also, what if she accesses your work projects and messes something inadvertently up? Protect your source of income." ~ BellaFromSwitzerland "OP will get fired if she’s crazy enough to ask HR if she can share work logins and work resources like this." ~ Realistic-Try7845 "Even if HR was your best friend asking, 'Hey, can I give access to all of the business's information to the stepsister of this guy I'm dating in another country?' would get you fired. ~ Supposed_too As many pointed out, OP is already providing free classes. Their boyfriend or his stepsister can look into finding a free design program for her to use or some way to pay for her subscription. --- ### Redditor Refuses To Drop Charges Against Friend Who Stole $1.8k Worth Of Their Stuff Despite Her Mental Health Issues **Published:** October 5, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/got-friend-arrested-reddit/.md Not all friendships remain the same. Sometimes we realize we don't have as much in common, or aren't even that compatible, with people we were once inseparable from. Even if we might not consider someone a "friend" anymore, that doesn't necessarily mean we don't remain on friendly terms with them. Others, however, sadly find that some former friendships have broken beyond repair. A friend of Redditor DrD3adpool recently found herself going through a hard time. While the original poster (OP) tried to lend a helping hand, they not only found that their friend was far beyond the amount of help they could provide, but might not even have been worthy of their help. The OP's friend's family refused to accept that. Having trouble processing the situation, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole Here" (AITAH). Unlike the similar 'Am I The A**Hole' (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Voting acronyms aren't required, and no final judgment is declared. The OP asked fellow Redditors: "AITAH for getting my ex friend arrested?" The OP explained why she found herself seriously at odds with a former friend and her family: "So some backstory." "About a month ago I let a friend of mine surf my couch for a few days while she was in between living situations." "She's got some well-documented mental illness that I thought was being properly medicated before I allowed her into my home." "She was actually completely unmedicated, and after one relatively good night, she proceeded to do/say a lot of out-of-pocket stuff that ultimately led to me asking her to leave my home a few days later." "She left, but returned to my home when I wasn't there and stole close to $1800 worth of belongings from my house." "She used a neighbor and an illegally copied key to get into the building." "My neighbors caught her on their security camera going into my house and leaving with a backpack full of my belongings." "I called the police, and after an exhaustive search, she was found and arrested." "I offered her to return my belongings and I would drop the charges, she returned the backpack and claims to not have any of my other belongings as well as adamantly denying entering my house. "I proceeded to press charges and she's now being held in police custody until the trial." "Her family is LIVID, they think that I should drop the charges because I got the backpack back." "When I told them that the backpack was literally $20 out of the many expensive things she took from my home, they responded by telling me how my pressing charges is ruining her life, including but not limited to custody/visitation rights for her four children and getting accepted into a special boarding house for people who have severe mental illness." "I feel like I'm in the right for wanting to see her punished for what she did, but her family and some of my friends are saying that I shouldn't be destroying her life because of one mistake." "Am I the AH?" Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community wholeheartedly agreed that the OP did nothing wrong. Everyone agreed that, regardless of the state of her mental health, the OP's friend had no one to blame but herself for her current situation, with everyone similarly wondering where the family of the OP's friend was when she really needed her help: "NTA." "Her family is all rallying round now." "Where were they when she needed a roof over her head?"- Thrwwy747 "NTAH." "Ask the family to replace the stolen belongings as a condition of dropping charges and see what they say."- PurchaseNo4486 "NTA." "The family is simply showing that they haven't adequately addressed the mental illness." "If the girl needs to be medicated and refuses the medication, she doesn't have the capacity to care for her children." "It's simple cause and effect, and you're being held up as the straw man to sacrifice."- PyroT8 "NTA." "You are not destroying her life; she is by not taking her medication and by breaking the law." "There are consequences." "Where was all this family when she needed a place to stay?" "If one of them wants to pay you back $1,800, maybe then consider dropping the charges." - OldInitiative8325 "No." "You’re the victim." "Mental health or the lack thereof is not a free pass to commit felonies." "Also where is her family and what are they doing for her besides getting butt hurt?"- onegreatbroad "NTA." "She FA and is currently FO."- Maahes0 "NTA." "You aren’t pressing charges; the prosecutor’s office does that." "Direct her family and anyone defending her to the prosecuting attorney."- FionaFierce11 "The district attorney's office presses charges, not you." "She will be prosecuted for the crimes she committed; again, that has nothing to do with you other than the fact that you happen to be the victim." "If she robbed a complete stranger, would her family be calling that person and harassing them as well?" "If she goes to jail for her crimes, she will get the mental health care she needs." "Probably not the best available, but care nonetheless." "If she's this unstable her children don't need to be exposed to her." "Don't feel guilty about the results of someone's actions that are completely out of your control."- Lisa_Knows_Best "NTA." "Her family has been enabling her going off her meds." "Now, she is going to have real consequences for her actions."- Emotional_Fan_7011 "I suppose the family could replace the stolen items if they're so concerned." "If they're not willing to personally make things right, they have no business asking you to just take the hit on this." "NTA."- Terradactyl87 "NTA." "You are not ruining her life, she is." "But we see where she got her lack of responsibility from."- Boogity2024 "One mistake?" "Let’s count these 'mistakes' she made just in this post." "Losing custody of her kids." "Saying reprehensible shit and getting kicked out." "Making a copy of your key." "Making the decision to steal." "Going to your address with the intention of stealing." "Lying to your neighbor." "Entering your home without permission." "Add $1,200 worth of 'mistakes' right here for every single thing she touched." "X 2 for putting each of those items in the backpack she stole." "Closing that backpack and deciding to leave with your property." "Actually leaving with your property." "Deciding what to do with your property. "Taking that property and presumably hiding and/or selling it (this is a whole separate list of 'mistakes' depending on what she did with your stuff)." "Lying about stealing your stuff." "Lying about how much she stole." "Continuing to lie." "Continuing to not return your belongings." "So, can her family point to the 'one mistake' this dumpster fire of a human made?" "Maybe you can let 'one mistake' go." "What about all of the others?"- No-Carob4909 "You are NTA."- sulunod1313 "NTA." "She is dealing with the consequence of her own actions."- beonewith The OP later returned with an update, thanking everyone who took the time to comment, and clarifying some things bout their and their friend's situation: "Firstly thanks for all of the kind words and upvotes." "Despite being very much in the right for what I did, I'm a very empathetic person, and I value my friendships to a point where I have been known to put up with very scummy behavior in the name of maintaining a friendship." "My own feelings about this situation were making me feel like I was the one being insane and horrible for wanting to get my things back." "As far as the family goes, they doubled down on their feelings about me, threatening physical violence against me in front of the police while I was trying to get one of her cousins to return some of my belongings she'd given him to sell for her." "Her father, aunt, and 3 of her cousins are now also in jail for making terroristic threats." "I have a restraining order against the rest of her family, and I'm looking forward to the trial so I can hopefully start to put this whole situation behind me." "Also, I wasn't aware that 'pressing charge' was the DA etc." "I've only been involved with the legal system twice in my 42 years, so my knowledge of how all of that works is a little blind/amateur." No family ever wants to hear that a family member has been arrested. Sadly, seeing that this seems to be a trend in the OP's family, the OP neither can nor should blame themself for this unfortunate outcome. As many have said, if this friend's family had been there for her when she needed them most, this could likely have been avoided. --- ### Parent Called Out By Wife For Not Wanting To Take Teen Stepson To Their Young Son's Behavioral Health Appointment **Published:** October 2, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/parent-called-out-reddit/.md As a parent, balancing schedules can be beyond stressful! Kids have different after-school activities, sports, and appointments. It can be hard to juggle it all. Redditor u/BigMcLargeHuge1977 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. They asked: "AITA for not wanting to take my 17 year old stepson along to a doctor’s appointment for my six year old?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "My oldest stepson is 17, and lives primarily with his dad." "He comes over once or twice a week for two or sometimes three days at a time." "As an aside, I also work from home." "My stepson doesn’t attend school and usually just works with his dad mowing grass." "My stepson has had a few run-ins with law enforcement, thankfully nothing serious, just knucklehead stuff." "However, because of that history and because he doesn’t go to school when he is with us, neither my wife nor I trust him to be alone in the house." "My six-year-old has a behavioral health appointment today, and those types of appointments are pretty intimate in my view." "I knew my wife wanted my stepson to come over yesterday, so on Tuesday of this week I asked what the plan was." "She said just to have him come over and stay Wednesday and Thursday." "When I mentioned my youngest son’s appointment being today, she said she would talk to my stepson's dad about it and left it at that." "This morning I asked what the plan was for our stepson, and my wife said she just figured I could take him with me." "I tried to explain my rationale and said that I specifically asked about this on Tuesday to avoid this kind of situation, but she says I’m making too big of a deal about taking him." "Even at 6 years old, a behavioral health appointment can get into some very personal issues, and I see it as respect for my youngest son’s privacy." "If this situation were reversed (I.E., it was my oldest stepson's appointment, I wouldn’t want to take my youngest stepson along out of respect for my stepson's privacy." "My gut feeling is that it’ll also be a bad idea to leave my oldest stepson alone in the lobby for the duration of the one-hour appointment." The OP was left to wonder: "So... AITA?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole. "A 16-year-old can sit in a lobby or go for a walk." "Don't overthink this." ~ wotsname123 "A 17-year-old that they don’t trust to be alone in the house?" "Editing to add that now that I know the reason for their lack of trust (he had a weed pen), I definitely feel like it’s overreacting and the kid can be left alone for an hour." "From another comment I posted down thread: Sure, we don’t want our teenagers doing drugs, but he’s almost an adult, and he’s going to have plenty of alone time to do whatever he wants soon enough. Seems a bit much to want him to be constantly supervised." "I thought it might be something more serious (harm to self or others, stealing, running away)." ~ malibuklw "A 17-year-old who can’t be left for an hour in a lobby of a professional space is wild." "Can’t he scroll, listen to music, read a book?" "He’ll be a legal adult in less than a year; he needs some life practice and skills." ~ No_Ordinary_3964 "At 17, he can wait in the lobby while you go into the appointment with your 6-year-old." "If the 17-year-old's behavior is such that he cannot be trusted to behave himself on his own in public for 20 minutes, you have bigger problems that cannot be addressed here." ~ Diasies_inMyHair "If a 17-year-old cannot be left in a lobby for one hour, then he has more issues than just 'knucklehead stuff' with law enforcement." "So sorry that you are going through stepchild/ primary family issues. NTA." ~ Formertchr This whole post is confusing. You say he hasn’t done anything serious, 'just knucklehead stuff' - yet you won’t let him be by himself anywhere for any amount of time." "Like he can’t even sit in a waiting room on his own." "Which would lead me to believe he HAS some very serious problems." "Why is he not getting a BH appointment?" "My son is 17, and he doesn’t go to school - that’s not a reason for me not to trust him at home by himself." "I feel like you are leaving a ton of info out." ~ JazD36 "NTA. Your wife needs to take time off work to babysit their child." "If the boy doesn't go to school (why isn't the kid in school?), can't be trusted home alone, and can't be trusted in a waiting room alone for an hour, then it's your wife's responsibility to take care of him." "But seriously, if he's that untrustworthy, there are much bigger issues beyond just 'knucklehead stuff.'" ~ DrTeethPhD "Or maybe OP is overreacting, and the wife doesn’t understand why it’s such a big deal for a 17-year-old to sit in the lobby alone." "I would be confused if I were the wife because this shouldn’t even be a big deal like OP is making it out to be. "All he did was vape and got banned. Is it bad? Sure." "But that’s the only example OP gives." "Just ONE thing." "I have seen teens do wayyyyyyy worse." ~ Street_Umbreon "If a 17-year-old literally can’t sit in the car or a waiting room for 30 mins without supervision, that far transcends typical 'knucklehead l' teen stuff and the kid desperately needs therapy." "If it really is just run-of-the-mill kid stuff, you’re overthinking it and need to chill out." ~ Important_Dark3502 "NTA. Your wife dropping this on you last minute after you proactively asked for a plan on Tuesday, combined with her dismissing your valid privacy concerns, is deeply frustrating." ~ orvxyrion "NTA. This sounds like a problem for stepson's mom and dad to figure out." "If he needs constant adult supervision and you are not going to be available for an hour or two that one day, then they need to make other arrangements." ~ ZipperJJ "If your stepson is as bad as you say, why isn’t he going to behavioral therapy???" "Why are we just watching his every move but not getting him help?" "What are you going to do when he’s 18?" "Kick him out?" "I have a feeling that’s what you want." "You are waiting till he’s 18 so YOU don’t have to deal with him anymore." ~ binxybaby "NTA, but I’m telling you, get a handle on any issues he has ASAP. " "The law is going to be much tougher on him when he’s 18, and at that point you’ll have no say in whether he does develop any behavioral health problems." "I said my brother was a problem at 15-17, but my parents brushed it off, and now he’s 30, jobless, has a criminal record, has spent multiple 6+ month stays in the state mental hospital, with Korsakoff’s and schizoaffective." ~ thehipaapotamus "Can the 17-year-old sit in the lobby without supervision?" "If they can’t be trusted to not leave the office or get the police called by the receptionist, then arrange for a babysitter." "But that’s a big concern if that’s the case, since they are nearly an adult." "Honestly, it’s a concern that they can’t be trusted in the house alone for an hour or two, especially if you provide takeout or snacks; they don’t need to use the kitchen." "Most teens would just watch TV or play video games, so if they truly can’t be trusted at home at 17, I hope that you guys get him help since he’s an adult soon." ~ RecordingNo7280 "NAH. Is your son close with his stepbrother?" "I always went to my sister’s appointments, and they went to mine because my mom booked them all on the same day." "If they were discussing something really personal, the other sisters would wait in the waiting room while they talked." "Same as how sometimes the parents are asked to step out and wait somewhere else." "I see no issue with bringing him, but I don’t think you are an a**hole for feeling uneasy about it." ~ Beautiful_Bird_4092 "NTA. At 17, if the bio parents aren't going to teach him about boundaries and following rules in public, then let the court system teach him ." "It's not your job nor your responsibility to ensure he 'behaves' in the lobby of the doctor's office or anywhere else, for that matter." "I mean, he's old enough to have a job now if he isn't going to school." ~ DoNoharm5 "NTA. I have a special needs kid, too, and we have behavioral therapy appointments." "It is not appropriate for the 17-year-old to be in the appointment room." "My bigger issue is why the other parent is making the 17-year-old OP’s problem." "If the 17-year-old is such a problem, that kid’s parent needs to reexamine how they’re handling the issue." "Foisting him on the step-parent isn’t the way, especially when there’s a special needs kid getting therapy that day." ~ SomethingClever70 Reddit is with you, OP. There is so much to unpack here. It may be wise to consult some therapists on how to deal with this. Good Luck. --- ### Single Mom Refuses To Forgive $11k In Child Support Estranged Ex Still Owes After His Motorcycle Accident **Published:** October 2, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/mom-refuses-forgive-reddit/.md Parents who shirk their obligations to their kids often aren't viewed kindly. This can become a very serious bone of contention for exes. Collecting this type of money can make people crazy. Redditor u/redrobinyummmmmmmmm wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. She asked: "AITA for not forgiving $11k in child support?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "So I (41 F) have 2 kids (18 M and 21 F) with K (52 M)." "We are on friendly terms, but K has never been a part of their lives and has lived in another state." "No visits, no phone calls, no presents, no birthday cards, nothing." "He worked under the table for 10 years and didn’t pay child support." "I didn’t go after him at that time because I knew it was pointless." "Well, he got a decent job, and I took him to court." "Last year, he got in a bad motorcycle accident and hasn’t been cleared to work yet." "He has a brain injury from the accident." "He got a warrant out because of child support, and he’s asking me to forgive it so they’ll drop the warrant." "I don’t want to." "I feel it’s owed to me for raising 2 kids completely alone." "This has now become a big debate with friends and family, so I’m coming here to try to see what the majority is." The OP was left to wonder: "So Reddit, AITA for not forgiving his $11k in child support?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole. "Don’t forgive it." "He knew he was a deadbeat from the get-go." "Now he is trying to get the sympathy vote." "Too bad, dude." "Should have fulfilled your obligations at the time." ~ Ok-Nothing6599 "He also knew he had this debt when he went and bought a donorcycle." "Now he’s whining about it. Boohoo, pay up. OP was nice enough to let it go for this long." "Consequences, consequences…" ~ picklepowerPB "NTA. 11k is nothing compared to the real cost of raising two children." "He should have contributed years ago." ~ lizardellie "Nope…NTA." "If he REALLY had the accident and is out of work, the court will possibly give him an extension or something, but he can’t just ignore it and hope it goes away." ~ bloodfeier "I work in family law." "He could very well get either a temporary suspension, meaning they will stop current support and interest, but that's usually for about 3-6 months." "But he has to request it." "Could have saved him a warrant." "But once the suspension is lifted, he's gonna have a huge balance." ~ GoreGoddezz "NTA. He owed the money BEFORE the accident." "You fronted his portion of childbearing costs, and now you’ve come to collect." "It’s not anyone else’s business, so family and friends can butt out." ~ JadieBugXD "NTA. That's money he's owed for far too long." "His circumstances don't change that." "That's money you should have had to make his kids' lives better." "Expect him to reach out to your children to try to guilt them." "Prepare them for this." "If there's any settlement from the accident for him, it'll first go to you to cover the arrears." ~ KatzAKat "How did K respond when you first asked him to pay child support?" "If he responded by saying he'd work under the table for ten years and pay nothing, I'd say you have a precedent to take a good ten years to decide whether to forgive the debt he owes." "I believe his disability can be garnished if he decides to get creative." ~ EmpressOfMyBackyard "NTA. He was supposed to be financially responsible for his children (at a bare minimum) and didn't do it." "You had to bear the full cost on your own, and you deserve to be reimbursed." ~ laughatbridget "NTA, this has happened to many moms I know." "These dudes will try to avoid it at all costs." "Get what’s yours and your kids." "One of my friends was able to get so much back pay she gave her son a down payment for his condo!" ~ SpiralBreeze "NTA, I was in a tough situation when my daughter was a toddler, and I couldn't afford to pay anything." "I wallowed for a week, and then I got a 2nd and 3rd job to pay what I owed." "Now, at 5 1/2 years, I've never missed a support payment, a daycare fee, or anything major in her life despite living a province away." "He's reaping what he sowed in my eyes." "Also, 11k isn't that much; that's basically what I pay in a single year of child support plus half of school fees, daycare fees, supplies, extracurricular activities, birthdays, etc." ~ ihavefaith77 "NTA. The court ordered him to pay it, and he has to pay it." "If he wants to order to change, he can ask the court to delay it or waive the warrant." "And if the family and friends are so concerned for him, they can pool together the 11k and clear the debt." ~ foxdogturtlecat "I'll tell you what I tell everyone who is owed child support: get every penny you're owed, accept no excuses or alternatives." "You spent your kids' entire childhoods being their sole financial support, when he could and should have been contributing, and I doubt any of your bills would have accepted excuses in lieu of payment during that time." "Take what's yours, and don't feel a second of regret." ~ JanetheGhost "Don’t forgive the debt." "He intentionally dodged his responsibility for 10 YEARS!!" "His situation sucks, but it’s really all his own doing." "It’s simply the easily foreseeable consequences of his actions (or inactions). NTA." ~ AdGold205 "NTA. Your kids are 18 and 21." "He didn't pay child support for 10 years." "He got in an accident last year." "If he'd done his best to at least pay child support for the past decade, or if he'd tried to be a present father in any way, and he'd just fallen behind after his accident, I'd say to forgive him 100%." "But he was never a present father, and he was actively evading child support for the last decade-- basically half of his kids' lives." "So no-- having had a bad accident last year doesn't erase the 10 years he chose to not fulfill his legal obligation to his kids before any accident." "And it doesn't erase the 18-21 years he chose not to have any role in his kids' lives." ~ lawfox32 "Let’s not overlook the fact that he waited until both of his children were over 18 years old before getting a legitimate job, thinking he was in the clear. NTA." ~ Fickle-Squirrel-4091 "Don't forgive it." "I made that exact mistake, forgiving over $100k in child support owed to me." "He didn't pay support for our 2 boys for their entire lives and asked me to forgive it because it was affecting his credit." "He was unable to buy a house with his new wife and their 2 small children." "I guess I felt bad for his new kids." "Anyway, all your ex has to do is start making payments, and the warrant should go away." "Even if it doesn't, that is the consequence for actions that he chose." "If he's not paying support normally, he might as well go to jail and not pay. He doesn't deserve to have a comfortable life at the expense of his children." ~ Mygreenoneeye "NTA, he has a debt to pay." "That's what happens when you try to dodge responsibility." "My niece's dad tried this, thought as soon as she was 18 he was done. Nope." "Bought property, and before the ink was dry on the closing papers, the state seized and sold it." "Sucks to suck." ~ Purple_Bowling_Shoes "NTA. Don’t do it!" "My friend let her ex off the hook so he could get a passport to go on his honeymoon with the promise that he’d still pay her, and he never did." ~ DestructoGirlThatsMe "NTA when he was able; he purposely took jobs under the table to avoid child support." "That's another level of deadbeat." "He knew he had 2 kids; he knew you are a single mother." "Instead of trying to give his children a better life, he purposely took under-the-table jobs (and a lot of times they would pay lower as well) just so he doesn't have to pay you." ~ CloudBuilder44 "Where were these friends and family with opinions when you were raising the children on your own while he wasn’t contributing either financially or emotionally?" "Ignore them and get the money you’re owed. NTA." ~ MissionRevolution306 "NTA, he owes it." "My son's dad really wasn't in his life (his choice) after we separated, but he did at least pay child support until my son's senior year, then decided he had paid enough. Lol." "We weren't actually divorced yet, so when we went to court, not only did he have to continue paying; the judge also awarded spousal support." "Had he just paid through his graduation, he would have been fine. "I'm sorry their dad was in an accident, but... he owes it." ~ LethargicLynx "NTA. He should have been paying from the beginning." "I’m sick of underemployed and shady employed deadbeat parents getting out of their responsibilities." ~ Expensive-Day-3551 NTA. Maybe he's waiting on an insurance payout if he's not at fault." "Child support can put a lien on the settlement case." "Once the case is settled, the insurance company will send the settlement to child support." ~ CauliflowerNaive9161 Reddit is with you, OP. What your ex is going through is sad. But how could he afford his new bike but NOT pay child support? He has his journey. You have to do what's best for you and your kids. Good Luck. --- ### Parent Berated By Sister For Refusing To Buy Wasteful Niece Food At Restaurant If She Won't Actually Eat It **Published:** October 2, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/niece-wasting-food-reddit/.md Wasting food is a big problem. Most of the time, this happens innocently, as people's eyes are simply bigger than their stomachs. When some people have this habit, others can prevent food waste. As with any intervention, however, these don't always go over terribly well. The niece of Redditor Gold_Possibility7728 had a niece who had a habit of ordering more food than she usually ate. On a recent night out with their niece, the original poster (OP) thought they'd found the perfect solution to this problem. Unfortunately, the OP's sister, their niece's mother, was anything but happy with their actions. Having some doubts about their decisions, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors: "AITA for not buying my niece food when we went out cause she always wastes it?" The OP explained why their sister was furious with them after taking their niece out for a meal: "I picked up my niece with my two boys after school, and sometimes we go out to get some food." "My niece always orders food she never eats, and ends up asking for some of what is get." "She is 6, my youngest is 5, and my oldest is 9." "This time around I told her that the two of us were going to share cause she all she ever does is pick at the food and does not eat it." "She threw a fit, but I did not budge." "We had our food, kept offering to share what I got. I told her that even if I ordered her food, she always just ends up wanting to get it even if I order her the same exact dish; she claims it is different." "Yes, I have tried to order us the same dish, but she plays around with her food, takes a few bites, and then says it is not the same, then asks for some of mine." "She eats it right up." "I Just did not feel like going through all of that or eating her food after she picked around it for 10 min." "So we all eat and she refused to eat." "She told my sister I refused to feed her, and let her go without food." "I explained to my sister that was not how it went down." "I explained the situation and she does the same to my sister I thought she would understand." "My sister lost it, said I should have spent the money on her own plate, let her do what she does, then let her have some of mine." "I told her that was a waste of money, and is silly." "My sister then told me, why go out to eat? I told her cause my kids asked, and I also had not eaten much that day cause I worked a double and was extremely busy." "My sister told me, 'Next time, don't go out to eat if I refuse to feed her daughter." "I once again told her I did not refuse to feed her; I just said we could share since that is what we always end up doing." "My sister told me she has tried that; it does not work." "She needs her own plate first and needs to realize she does not want her own plate, then will ask for some food from the person she feels closest with." "She claims I have ruined that bond, and I also risk giving her a poor relationship with food." "I am torn on if I was an a**hole or not. I know my niece does this, and maybe it was wrong of me to try and change it, especially because this is the norm for her." "AITA?" Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for making her niece share her food with her. Everyone agreed that the OP was being practical and economical, and that their sister could learn a thing or two from them: "NTA." "You haven't denied her access to food; you've established boundaries." "If your sister wants to throw her money down the toilet, that's her choice." "If she doesn't agree with you, she can drive her own child."- rasalscan "NTA." "Your sister is coddling her daughter beyond reason."- Jusbuster "NTA." "She already has a poor relationship with food." "Her mom needs to handle that." "Also you are doing her a solid by picking up your niece." "She should be grateful for that, not telling you what to do." "If she wants her daughter to have her own plate, she can give you the money for it up front so you’re not wasting your own."-Prestigious_Sail1668 "NTA." "Next time, order her food and refuse to share yours." "I only share with my kids and wife, nobody else."- DapperSmoke5 "NTA, but the compromise in this situation is that your sister pays for her kids' meal and half of yours."- hotdish420 The OP later returned with an update, thanking everyone who took the time to comment and clarifying some things about her family dynamic: "I appreciate all the responses and feedback." "Before I give the update, I want to clarify a few things I noticed." "I agree I have also enabled this behavior by playing along with it for so long." "Thing is I finally saw how silly it was to get her a plate of her own food just for her to play with it." "I pick up and watch her until my sister gets home cause her husband is literally useless, and the school our kids go to do not play when it comes to pick up." "It is five bucks per every minute a parent is late." "They do have aftercare but only until 5:30." "My sister gets out of work at 7:30." "I was doing this as a favor, and it was not really an inconvenience because I was already picking up my kids." "For those who asked why I did not just get her nuggets or something, because she does not eat things like that." "We were eating at a restaurant we frequent." "I order our usual we always share, and I did explain to her beforehand that I was not going to order her a plate solely to play with, and since last time she played with her food and did not eat it, her and I were just going to share like we eventually end up doing." "I also put the food aside from the start; I just did not let her have it until she said she was not going to play with it." "Yes, maybe she may have some food issues; it does seem like a ritual-like thing for her." "She does this at home also and family gatherings." "I guess I finally had a enough, my son who is 5 does not play with his food, she is older and does which is weird." "I knew she was hungry because she does not eat lunch at school, she eats snacks but actual food no." "She only eats what someone she is close with eats, and will only eat together with them." "My sister refuses to get her evaluated for anything cause she does not want to put labels on her child." "I don't drop her off at home because no one is home to watch her, and it would he a solid five hours before her mom gets home." "All that aside, I told my sister last time that she has until the end of this month to make new arrangements." 'I told her I don't appreciate her actually believing my niece that I refused to feed her." "That was not the case, and on top of that she expected me to cater to her wasteful behavior without any actual compensation." "Even with compensation, it is ridiculous to waste food like that." 'My sister got upset and told me I was being unfair." "I told her that she and her husband will have to figure something out." "She called our mom to complain; my mom said I was being unreasonable and should just watch my niece and accept her quirks." "Told mom she could do it, and left it at that." "For the record, our mom won't cause she also finds this behavior weird, and it's part of the reason why she stopped babysitting." If the OP had simply refused to give their niece any food, the OP's sister would have every right to be furious. The fact that she got this angry over the OP trying to think practically is alarming, to say the least. When the OP's sister sees her daughter's behavior remain stagnant as she grows up, she may wish she had thought as practically as the OP did much earlier. --- ### Guy Asks If It's Wrong To Abruptly Cut Off Conversation With Female Coworker He's Grown To 'Hate' **Published:** October 2, 2026 | **Author:** John Curtis | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/cut-off-conversation-reddit/.md To maintain a productive, harmonious atmosphere, it's important to build strong working relationships with your colleagues. This doesn't mean you need to be friends with them outside of work. Sometimes, being colleagues but not friends is the only way to remain professional. Unfortunately, some people have a much harder time staying cordial. Redditor u/FckFord had a somewhat challenging relationship with one of his colleagues. While the original poster (OP) tried to remain polite, it was becoming increasingly difficult. A recent encounter with this colleague simply pushed the OP over the edge. Concerned about his professionalism, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole Here" (AITAH). Unlike the similar 'Am I The A**Hole' (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Voting acronyms aren't required, and no final judgment is declared. The OP asked fellow Redditors: "AITAH for abruptly cutting off a conversation with a coworker whom I'm growing to hate?" The OP explained why they took semi-drastic measures during a recent conversation with a colleague: "I (31 M) have grown to not stand my coworker (34 F) for a lot of little but consistently annoying things." "At first, when she started working here, we got along well, not like work besties, but we developed a good coworker environment (the first couple of months)." "It started with the a/c temp..." "For context, we're on a tropical island where we average 92 degrees; she's always cold, so the thermostat would miraculously shift from 70 to 78 degrees." "The company we work for requires site visits to construction sites; more often than not, I would go into the office. It's warmer than the building's hallway." "I've sent multiple emails to my supervisors (who work at another base office and aren't there's 80% of the time), they ofc have spoken to her but after a couple of weeks the same thing begins to happen." "The damm lunch orders, she would offer to order lunch (me and another coworker) and would constantly mess up the orders." "Then my coworker and I started ordering since we noticed the pattern; she would eat with us and then 'forget' to transfer the money back until you ask her. I began to have lunch by myself." "She has sprung up work over me because she 'forgot' she had a meeting coordinated for 9am and told me to represent her at 9:30am. that same day... "She just 'forgot' and went to work at the other office (they're 2hrs appart btw)." "Since we're in the consulting industry, I didn't want to hurt the client over her irresponsibility, so I went, but I felt like a deer in headlights." "I didn't know ANYTHING of that project." "Had I been notified early in the morning, I would have scrolled through the vitals, at least." "I too notified my supervisor about this issue." 'TODAY she walked up to me trying to small talk, and she commented she hasn't had a good day at all, and I ICED HER OUT COMPLETELY, replying 'damn' and putting my headphones back on." "After all that inconsideration from her, I'm not going to feel sorry that work hasn't been great today when you've been a drag inconvenience to work with this entire time." "AITAH?" Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here Just about everyone tended to agree that the OP did the right thing by cutting their conversation short, even if some urged her that spending as little time with her as possible was probably the only way to maintain a healthy working relationship: "NTA, but you're at the stage where this woman could breathe slightly too loudly and you'd be drafting another email to your supervisor." "Keep your distance before you lose it."- OfficialBroccoliRob "NTA." "You've already started ordering and paying directly for your own food so that's a good start." "Stop covering for her at the last minute." "The bosses aren't going to know she messes up unless they can see for themselves." "I'm sorry I cant today, Im already overloaded." "And don't email your bosses anymore about the temperature." "It sounds immature and they don't really care." "Lower the temp, maybe buy a lock box over it so she cant change it." "Gee, I don't know where that came from."- rosegarden207 "NTA." "However, since other people around you don't know the specifics, you're cutting her off may look bad." "People watch and listen and could misconstrue your actions." "Just saying this to be careful."- Flipgirlnarie "NTA." "You don’t have to be friends, you just have to be civil." "Stop covering for her." "Stop hanging out at lunch with her." "Mumble a morning and get on with your day."- Past_Gear_4310 "NTA." "She seems awful." "Document everything." "If she’s pushing a meeting on your last minute, get her to email you about it or email her and copy your supervisor on it." "If you change the temperature, note it." "Note when it changes back." "If you know what 'grey rocking' is, do that." "If not, learn about it."- BrooklynIrish73 "Her lack of planning / ability to do what she is being paid for (the meetings) are NOT your emergency to fix." "Focus on YOUR work - and ignore her mistakes." "That really is the only way management will become aware of this issue." "OR 'Colleague wasn't interested in joining today, and told me to do in for her - I'm unaware of this project, however, since she gave me about 2 mins warning'." "Only if it is internal people - never when clients/externals are present!" "Also, if one is cold, a sweater or something is easier than making another coworker uncomfortable - and when management has told her to stop - and she doesn`t .." "'Hey HR/Boss, i feel like crap due to (name) continued fiddling with the temperature in (office name) - what are the rules for Working from home?'" "Not sure if that is possible - but this is an indication to management again." "This person is NOT a good coworker and should be held accountable." "Transfer to the Siberian office." "NTA."- SamuelVimesTrained "NTA." "But 1. Tell her to start bringing in a sweater if she’s always cold because she’s selfishly making it hot for everyone else, and she’s not to touch the thermostat again." "2. Report her irresponsibility with client meetings to her supervisor." "Tell them she’s consistently unprepared, unorganized, claims 'I forgot' so often you’re concerned that she has some serious cognitive issues that are starting to effect the business and she’s consistently passing off meetings at the last minute to others who are not familiar with her projects and it’s impacting the confidence of clients." "She’s a bare minimum player, at best and has a sh*t work ethic that is spreading like a cancer." "Someone in charge needs to be made aware she’s not performing, doesn’t care that she’s failing clients' expectations, and is expecting others to cover her 'forgetfulness' and disorganization." "If everyone else is doing her job for her then what purpose does she fill?"- Judgejudyssideeye "NTA." "You have just seen she's all bs and can't tolerate it." "I recognize it. It's tough, but don't lose your job over her." "I don't think she'd have a problem becoming a problem for you."- HollisterRN "NTA." "But stop doing 'favors' for her." "If you turn up to a meeting and don't know anything, it makes you and the company look bad." "The meeting was her responsibility, not yours." "Hopefully, HR will see what a liability she is."- Celtic-Brit "NTA." "i laughed at the 'damn' and putting headphones on lmaoo." "Just keep being short and boring to talk to so she (hopefully) distances herself." "But don't get too upset over anything. The extent of her bad habits is a few dollars you're out." "The meeting thing looks worse on her imo." "Don't get so nitpicky that you end up becoming a bad coworker as well."- thesinisterkitty "NTA." "You know, I envy her." "Spin around on a chair all day and take pics of my Uber Eats." "Entitled to other people's time and money." "Might forget something and have to drive 2 hours for it." "That's some best life shit right there."- JackJeckyl "NTA." "At another time I’d let her know you can not cover her if she 'forgets' again." "Also, you don’t go to work to make friends, and she seems to be aware of what she is doing; for example, clearly 'forgot' means 'I don’t want to'.”- _dundada It's entirely possible that the OP's colleague isn't aware of her problematic behavior. Even so, telling her she needs to change probably won't help the situation one bit. Hopefully, keeping his distance from her and saying as little as possible will be the hint she needs and help everyone do their jobs more efficiently. --- ### Woman Refuses To Be Maid Of Honor For 'Controlling' Bride Who Wants To 'Remove Her Personality' **Published:** October 2, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/refuse-moh-wedding-ring-reddit/.md Most of us have known a bride or a groom who focused way too much on the aesthetics of their wedding, rather than their love for each other and sharing the moment with the other loved ones in their lives. Bridesmaids are impacted by this far more than groomsmen typically are, between expectations around hair, dress, and makeup; behavior before, during, and after the wedding; and of course, not upstaging the bride, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit. Redditor LogUpbeat893 had been friends with Lola for several years, included her as a bridesmaid in her wedding, and was expected to be the Maid of Honor for Lola's. But when Lola started making all kinds of demands that made the Original Poster (OP) feel like she was stripping her of her identity, by dressing her in clothes she didn't like, and expecting her not to wear her own wedding ring to the event, she questioned if being Maid of Honor was right for her. She asked the sub: "Am I overreacting by not wanting to be Maid of Honor, because my friend wants me to remove my personality for her wedding?" The OP was invited to be her friend's Maid of Honor, but she felt conflicted. "I am supposed to be the Maid of Honor for my friend, Lola's, wedding next summer." "My husband and I recently moved overseas, so I am long-distance friends with Lola now, but we have been close for a few years, and I plan on traveling back to be in her wedding." "She was also a bridesmaid in my own wedding." The OP noticed a serious change in Lola's personality since she started planning her wedding. "Since getting engaged, Lola has been kind of putting me on edge in general." "She's asking me for help with every little thing, which is fine, but then she rejects all my ideas, tells me she hates my suggestions, and constantly says that her wedding has to be different and better than mine was." "She has made some weird comments, such as that my wedding is her 'bare minimum' or that hers has to be 'at least as good as mine' and such." "She will ask for my opinion on something, to which I will tell her what I think, and then she will completely change her mind just to disagree with whatever I said." "On top of that, she's honestly copying a lot of the things that I did at my wedding, including booking the same photographer, wanting the same dress style, and a few other things, even though she had never previously expressed interest in those details..." "She even recently started going to my tattoo artist and got a large tattoo that looks similar to my own, and in the same spot. When I got my tattoo, I had specifically joked about how I had to finish it before my wedding so it would look good in photos... and now she's saying the same thing." "The whole thing just feels weird, but I can't tell if I'm overthinking. It's not like I own the rights to certain tattoos or wedding vendors, but it just feels odd that she has done so many of the same things that I did." "Overall Lola is just being very strange, contrary, and controlling. But it's her wedding, and I know that many brides tend to act this way because they are stressed and overwhelmed. I'm trying my best to just be supportive and helpful even if she has been kind of off lately." The OP became increasingly flustered by the wedding planning. "Lola has recently picked out the color she wants for her bridesmaids' dresses, and of course, no problem, I'm happy to wear whatever color she wants." "Initially, she had told me that all the girls could pick their own dress style, as long as it was the color and fabric she wanted. This was the same thing I did for my wedding." "I immediately went to the website to browse, took screenshots of the ones I liked, and sent them to her. She said she didn't like any of them, which I was bummed about, but again, it's her wedding, so whatever." "She then sent me a few options that she approved of, and they weren't great. They were mostly looser, shapeless options, which I don't love because I wouldn't have as much support." "I'm a curvier gal, and I really love when dresses have built-in support; otherwise, I would feel a bit exposed, and frankly, they were just unflattering silhouettes." "I tried to tell her this, and she seemed annoyed. I asked point blank if she wanted me to cover up my chest, and she said it wasn't about that, but that all the styles I liked (which have a supportive bodice, typically with a corset or some sort of boning) looked 'too much like wedding dresses.'" "Frankly, I think that's absolutely ridiculous. After a bit of back and forth, she said she would probably just end up picking the dresses for us, or pick a handful and let us 'fight it out' to decide who gets which one." "I'm just a bit annoyed that she changed her mind. Why tell me that I could choose my own style, and then not actually mean it?" "At this point, I decided I was just being dramatic. It's one day, and I'll wear the unflattering dress for one day. I decided to move on and follow up about it later." Then Lola made the wedding planning personal. "But then, she started telling me that she also wants me to wear only gold jewelry for the wedding, as well as not wear my usual makeup or wear my hair down." "For context, I am heavily tattooed/somewhat alt, and wear silver jewelry (including my wedding ring). I have several ear piercings, all silver jewelry." "My usual makeup is pretty basic, but I do wear a small amount of dark eyeshadow as liner and black mascara, but nothing too bold or goth. My hair is long and blonde, and I always wear it down for events." "I don't think my look is too crazy, but she says she wants me to 'match everyone else.' All of her other bridesmaids have dark hair and wear gold jewelry." "But like... I feel like it's pretty egregious to ask me to take off all my usual jewelry (including earrings that I don't typically take out, and my literal WEDDING RING?) just to 'match everyone else'..." "I also don't want to have to buy dozens of pieces of gold jewelry (on top of the thousands of dollars my husband and I are already spending to be at their wedding at all) that I will never wear again." "That combined with her request that I not wear my usual hair and makeup, and wear a dress that looks like a sack... I guess I'm just bothered that she is wanting me to look like someone I'm not, even if it's just for one day. It almost feels like she wants her bridesmaids to look bad on purpose." The OP considered dropping out of the wedding. "Would I be overreacting if I told her I wasn't willing to do all that? I understand letting her pick my dress, even if it's a style I don't like, but I feel like asking me to remove my jewelry and change my hair and makeup is just kind of pushing it..." "I absolutely do not want to go the whole event without wearing my own wedding ring." "I feel like she's projecting some insecurities onto me. Should I just suck it up and do what she says to make her happy?" "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some reassured the OP that they would have already bailed without a second thought. "I barely got through a third of that before I was thinking, 'I wouldn't be involved in her wedding anymore...'" "By the halfway point, I wouldn't even be GOING to the wedding. NOR." - Flimsy-Car-7926 "NOR. If anything, you're underreacting, because I would have bailed as soon as I got the first comments about her wedding having to be better than yours was, and yours was the 'bare minimum.'" "Do friends really talk to each other that way? Supposed to be the happiest day of your life, and she s**ts all over it." - geekroick "NOR, and I say this with kindness, but why are you spending so much and doing so much for someone who doesn't like you? You deserve SO much better." - tphatmcgee "Uh, yeah, while writing this comment, I am your work supervisor, and I've just gotta say, I think you’re too busy at work to come and will have to pass on helping her........ NOR!" - Glad'Match'4317 "NOR. If it were me, I'd be setting my boundaries, and if she won't compromise, I'd step down as MOH." "Asking you to buy whole new jewelry is insanity. Things are already expensive for bridesmaids with a whole new dress and travel." "The whole 'I need my wedding to be better than yours' thing is so ridiculous. Golly. I'd never say that to a friend. That's so tacky. And insensitive. Ew." - Lickerbomper Others agreed and encouraged the OP to use this moment to perform a friendship audit. "NOR. She's jealous of you, and your wedding. Hence why she's choosing an unflattering dress for you, and jewellery/make up/hair that doesn't suit you." "She's scared you'll look better than her. You can either suck it up and not care about not looking as pretty as you could, or tell her off." "I think it's important to review your friendship, though. Has she only been like this during the wedding planning, or previously as well? Does she try to one-up you in other areas of life?" - Dutchmuch5 "That's not a friend. She's one of those people who puts others down to make themselves feel good. I used to have a 'friend' like that, and when I said goodbye to her, a massive weight lifted off my shoulders." "You deserve a friend that cheers you on and wants you to look your best. No doubt there will be snarky comments during the wedding, little stabs underwater, how you were difficult choosing a dress, how her wedding is better than yours, etc." "If you haven't booked yet, I'd spend that money on a nice holiday instead with your husband!" - VegetableBusiness87 "I had a friend like this. In hindsight, I think she struggled to be her own person because of some family trauma." "We would sometimes share clothes, and she would sometimes try to just keep mine. Eventually, the boyfriend she talked s**t about and I broke up… and she went after him immediately. They are now married." "I wish them no ill will; I was done with him for a reason… but I definitely didn’t need to stay friends with her after that." - MonicaLane "First she’s saying yours is her 'bare minimum,' and then she’s saying 'it at least had to be as good as yours,' so which is it?! Is yours her bare minimum? Because if it was, she wouldn’t say it at least has to be as good as yours." "She’s f**king weird, insecure, and threatened by you; the girl is unhinged." "I mean, she literally got almost the same tattoo as you did in the same size and same placement and is saying the same thing as you, like, 'I need to be finished before the wedding so the pictures look good!' I would be f**king terrified and creeped out if my 'friend' did that." "In fact, it would be an instant block and NOPE to being in the wedding party and NOPE to attending the wedding." - Several-Lawfulness78 "She’s being very competitive with you. Unfortunately, some people are just like this. But it means you’ll keep being her punching bag so she can make herself feel better." "Personally, I think you should move on from this friendship. Just tell her that you’re not sure you’re going to be able to travel back for the wedding, that you can’t be part of the wedding party." "You don’t need this level of drama!" - Local_Gazelle538 The subReddit was alarmed on the OP's behalf by how she'd been treated and what she'd allowed during her friendship. As nice as it might be to help the bride have a wonderful wedding day, it shouldn't come at the price of a person's identity or personal wishes. Some brides lean too heavily into their wedding aesthetic, leaving little room for anything genuine or authentic that day, and this bride seemed to be next in line. --- ### Nonbinary Redditor Refuses To Forgive Sister For Outing Them As Gay To Parents 12 Years Ago **Published:** October 2, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/sister-out-nonbinary-reddit/.md Whether we knew it or not, we've all known someone in the LGBTQ+ community, and as allies, it's our job to advocate for their rights, health, and happiness. The most vital rule of all, however, is respecting their decisions about sharing their own story and, of course, never, ever outing them, firmly stated the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit. Redditor Sad-Truck-2916 came out to their friends when they were a teenager because they felt more comfortable sharing the news with them than with their family. When their sister saw some of the Original Poster's (OP) messages with their friends and drew the conclusion that they were gay, she took it upon herself to tell their family, and they never forgave her. They asked the sub: "Am I overreacting for not forgiving my sister for outing me 12 years ago?" The OP came out to their friends but wanted to wait to come out to their family. "When I (28 Nonbinary) was a teenager, I had come out to my friends before my family." "At the time, I just saw myself as a Gay dude, and my friends would poke fun at it." "I was more comfortable around them, since my family had always expected me to date girls, but I wanted to wait to come out to my family until I was in college." When the OP's sister discovered their identity, she didn't respect their wish to keep it to herself. "At this time, I was 18, and my sister was 23." "I left my phone in another room without realizing it. My sister went through my phone, saw notifications, and came to me and asked if I was Gay." "I told her yes. Her response was that she was going to tell my parents if I didn't." "I sort of stumbled and panicked and ended up feeling forced to do so. It was awkward. They didn't really respond well." "My parents, my brother, and her are very supportive now (even though I present very androgynously and have been on HRT for years), but I grew immense resentment for being essentially forced out." "She never acknowledged this was wrong, apologized to me, or anything. She just gave me the impression I was just a bonus point because, 'I can tell people I have a Gay brother now!'" "I did confront her just days after this happened. I told her it felt really wrong and made me incredibly uncomfortable." "She got defensive but insisted I shouldn't have hidden it from her or the family, and she was proud of me for being honest." "I didn't address it after that and felt like I couldn't trust her anymore." The OP tried to confide in their parents, but it didn't help. "I told my parents how it made me feel, like I was completely disrespected and my privacy meant nothing." "They acknowledged it but felt I was overreacting and that she cares and wants to be protective." "As the years go by, I feel like it's the opposite. A protective sister would have kept it secret and supported me." "Now, 10 years later, my parents say I should reach out more and forgive her. But she's never ONCE admitted this was wrong. She has never brought it up." "Driving with them last week, I told them, 'I don't like my sister; I only interact with her because I'm forced to,' and they gave me a huge lecture about how I was being callous, and that's not my nature." "I have no interest in ever mending this relationship because of what happened." Even though the OP's sister attempted to be kind in other ways, it didn't make a difference. "My sister, she tries. She reaches out when I'm going through something rough. We have okay conversations, and I can tell she means well." "At times she will undermine me, still, which is so strange at our age. But as each year goes by, I think more and more about how little I want to do with her." "My family thinks I should drop it and move past it, because, 'she's your only sister!'" "My friends tell me they would feel similar to me. I get more stubborn about this as each year goes by and she doesn't acknowledge it. Apparently she's apologized about it to MY PARENTS but still hasn't said anything to ME." "Am I overreacting? Is this worth being so pent up about for a decade, and maybe forever?" "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some sympathized with the OP that their sister never apologized for what she did. "Honestly, it’s hard to move past something when the person who hurt you never actually owns up to it, so yeah, you’re totally allowed to keep your distance. NOR." - CharmerGurl "OH MY GOD, NOR. I can't stand it when people treat outing someone like it is just sharing gossip, while completely ignoring how dangerous or life-altering it can actually be." "She doesn't deserve you; it's not an exaggeration that she put your life in danger if given the right audience." - peachivani "NOR, and you don’t owe anyone forgiveness, especially if she doesn’t even acknowledge that what she did was horrible." "Regardless of her reasoning, she forced you to come out before you were ready. I’m glad that your family ended up being supportive, but it wasn’t her place." - brmstrick "So they admit that it’s against your nature. When push comes to shove, even your natural personality can be pushed aside and go against its natural self." "That’s how much she pushed you into disliking her. Why can’t they see how wrong that is in itself?" "Also, she may feel proud to have a Gay brother, but maybe it’s time to tell her that she didn’t make him feel proud; she made you feel like you were backed into a corner where naughty boys go, and that you are, in fact, not proud of her because of what she did." - Alicam123 "Nope! You're NOR. People deserve autonomy and the right to choose whenever they want to make a huge announcement like that." "Her forcing you out is a huge disrespect of that, and is not what a good sibling who actually cares would do. Until she genuinely apologizes and understands what she did to you or makes changes that satisfy you, you have the right to declare y'all's relationship as however you want it to be." "She should have thought about your situation and how it felt to be in your shoes whenever all of this happened, because this is YOUR journey that YOU are walking, not her." "I'm sorry you have gone through this OP, and I hope you're doing well. Family sucks sometimes, if not a lot of the time. Especially if you're dealing with unaccepting, judgy people." - TheSarcasticEggplant Others agreed and reassured the OP that they didn't have to forgive something that may never get better. "NOR. You have no duty or obligation to forgive her, especially since she’s never acknowledged the wrong she committed against you, and has never apologized." - Anonymoosehead123 "Forgiveness isn’t something you owe someone, especially when they’ve never even acknowledged what they did or apologized to you." - NessaDazzle "This is a heavy one. An apology has to actually reach the person it's owed to, not just get handed to your parents as a consolation prize. Forgiveness isn't a default setting you owe someone just because time passed, especially without any real accountability." - Kooky-Agency3494 "I wasn't ready to tell my parents (dad and step-mum) that I was a Lesbian, so I didn't. However, I told someone in confidence and was given the impression that it was safe to do so..." "Days later, my parents cornered me at the dinner table and lashed out at me about it, which was why I didn't wanna tell them yet, because I knew they would react really badly and take FOREVER to accept and get over it." "It even took them YEARS to accept my now partner of over a decade." "I was forced out before I was ready, and my life was NOT easy to deal with then. Your sister took a very vulnerable moment away from you (not to mention invading your privacy by spying on your phone?!), and forced you out, which could have really ended badly." "She doesn't and didn't have to go through anything like it, so clearly won't and doesn't understand. And she still has not apologised after all these years? Yeah, you are NOR about this." "Just because they are related by blood doesn't mean you have to get along or forgive family members for things they did wrong." - Sparkleunidog "NOR. My oldest came out when he was a teen. Over the years, we had a few of his friends stay with us because they were made homeless by their family after being outed." "That could have destroyed your life. She isn’t a good person." - pookapotomus2 After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update. "Thanks for the comments, all. I got much more feedback than I expected." "Thanks for the perspectives. I liked the comments that affirmed me, and even more the ones that told me to just tell her now (since we all change a lot over a decade) how this resentment sort of prevents me from having any desire to get closer with her." "I think what kills me the most is that my parents have brought up to her how wrong it was, and she still just never acknowledged it." "If the opportunity comes, I'll give it a shot. I figure, if it goes well, it could be a good decision. If not, then I'm fine being low contact forever." "I really appreciate all the feedback, and it makes me realize how good my friends are to have my back on this the entire time." Even if the OP's sister thought they should be out and accepted by everyone, and wanted to show her support by honoring who they are, coming out wasn't her choice to make. If she ever wanted to have a meaningful and trusting relationship with the OP again, she'd have to apologize to them directly, not their parents, and then prove time and time again that the OP could share information with her and trust that it would stay with her rather than being passed along to others. --- ### Retired Redditor Sparks Drama By Refusing To Help Broke Siblings Pay For Mom's $45k Funeral Services **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/mother-funeral-expenses-reddit/.md According to the National Funeral Directors Association, a standard funeral in the United States ranges from about $7,000 to $12,000 for a traditional burial with a casket and $6,000 to $7,500 for a cremation service with a viewing. Direct cremation without a service or urn, at about $1,000 to $3,000, is the least expensive option. Prices vary by state, depending on regulations and laws governing burials and cremation, and by region as well, depending on the cost of living. A son turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback over a dispute with his siblings over their mother's funeral arrangements. Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. Payneresistor asked: "AITAH for refusing Mom’s final wishes?" The original poster (OP) explained: "My mother is nearing the end of her life and in hospice. I’m one of five siblings and the 2nd oldest to my sister. My brother and I are both retired laborers. Worked hard, made good choices, etc…" "My sister and two younger siblings are still actively working and comparatively less successful, but far from poverty." "My sister called to tell me mom’s wishes are to be entombed within the walls of a specific church mausoleum. Without prior discussion, she’s already gone ahead and started pricing out everything from flowers, two-day viewing at a funeral home, casket, luncheon, etc…. THE WORKS." "I know Mom definitely wants the mausoleum because she’s mentioned it in the past for 'when the day comes'. The rest is my sister running up the tab for sure." "The message was essentially this: Mom has no money set aside. State took everything for her care. There will be no inheritance to offset any costs. My brother and I will need to absorb ~$45k cost to make this happen for mom because she and our two younger siblings 'have no money'." "My response was that we should tell Mom what she wants to hear and plan for the absolute cheapest options (cremation and a simple service). If more is wanted, then all five of us need to contribute." "My brother feels the same as I do. The three siblings not pitching in are pissed and think we’re being selfish and badmouthing us to the family." "Am I being unreasonable? AITAH?" Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not wrong (NTA). "No. It's not fair that the burden of payment should fall on you and your brother. You can do a nice, respectful, and loving ceremony without all the bells and whistles. I would tell your sisters that if they are so insistent, then they can pay for it." ~ Senior_Reaction2974 "I have never understood why someone insists on this type of funeral. My Mom says 'I’ll be dead, why would I care, do whatever you want'." "We will honor her, of course, but I totally agree with her (and you and your brother). That is a ridiculous amount of money." ~ gato-afortunado "I told my daughters to donate my body to science. It’s free, it helps form new doctors, and they can do whatever memorial they wish to do or nothing at all." ~ Terrible_Bad7998 "My mom is a nurse and decided years ago that she wants to donate her body. My sister was so upset, and my mom told her that if she had a problem with it, she's not getting a f*cking penny from her. I laughed my a** off at that, because she's the golden child. The one time my mom shut her down that I've ever seen in my life." ~ Pizzaisbae13 "I actually want to decay to return to the earth. People entombing corpses in mausoleums make no sense to me...why are we afraid of the decomposition? The person has died, there's no bringing them back from here. Slowing the process doesn't stop it." ~ Hyzenthlay87 "Oh, I remember when my dad died I always thought all my brothers and sisters put their money in, but it happened to be me and my older sister and the other 3 did nothing but took credit for it. I told them me and my sister are not putting money in when mom dies—they can pay for it all. I feel bad, but they all make good money." ~ Positive-Pack-396 "I was the opposite. My dad said the three of us kids needed to pitch in for mom’s headstone because he couldn’t afford it all. We said fine." "Fast forward two years, mom still has no headstone, so I started the leg work, priced things out, sent the proofs to my two brothers and Dad so they couldn’t say they didn’t get to have a say, they said all good, looks great." "I order and pay for it(over $3000), send the invoice in the group chat and let them know when it was installed.They all loved it as it turned out very well…that was 18 years ago, and I have still not received a penny, not even from Dad." "When my Dad died, I absolutely refused to put any money towards anything for him as I felt I had already done my part." ~ sistaneets "My dad died when I was a child. His estate went to myself and my sister. From his estate, we had to pay for his funeral. Bear in mind this is 1991 dollars; our Grandparents were in charge of planning the funeral, and spent our estate money on 8 burial plots, a headstone with 8 names on it (grandma, grandpa, dad, aunt+husband, uncle+wife, aunt)." "Plus service and other funeral expenses. The headstone alone cost 12k. The entire thing cost around 40k, which came right out of two children’s inheritance." "My grandpa was a multimillionaire who spent his grandkid’s inheritance on a tombstone for himself. And they wonder why my sister and I don’t come to family gatherings anymore." ~ Heronymous-Anonymous "The broke sibs can put the ashes in a nice urn and then save up until they can pay for it! It’s not like the mausoleum won’t take their money in the future!" ~ CollinZero "Ridiculous! You can buy a nice, USEFUL car or truck for $45,000 instead of throwing it away on someone's impractical, expensive mausoleum whim. If she were a Rockefeller, this would be a different story." ~ mikeinanaheim2 "Tell this to your siblings who have no money but are free to spend yours: 'We were thinking of spending the money to honor Mom’s wishes, but then we thought maybe we would just give you the money instead'." "THEN see how adamant they are to fulfill Mom’s dreams." ~ SPFTguy "NTA - first of all, I’m sorry for your impending loss. But no, you don’t get to plan the mega bucks funeral when you have no bucks and expect other people to pick up the cost." ~ grey-green-eyes "Cremation is pretty inexpensive if you deal directly with the crematorium instead of a funeral home. Last time I looked it was less than $1000." "Renting a community center, buying some flowers, and getting an economical lunch spread might cost another $1000-$3000 depending on how many people you want to invite and how fancy you want to be." "Definitely not the cheapest thing in the world, but a far cry from the $45,000 OP's sister is talking about." ~ Wild-Policy5625 "I told my kids, and it is in my will, that they are to spend the absolute minimum on my funeral. I told them every dollar they spend is a dollar less they will inherit." ~ No-To-Newspeak "NTA. If your Mom doesn’t have enough money for this kind of funeral, she won‘t have such a funeral. She can not demand that kind of funeral from her kids." "Refusing this is not selfish it is common sense. 45k for a funeral? Nope." "Let her go in peace and then have a decent funeral, but not this expensive one." ~ BerneDoodleLover24 "The funeral is not for her. She's dead. It's for those she leaves behind, and if they don't want their lasting memories of her to be that of massive financial burden, they should not feel obliged to make it so." ~ AutisticPenguin2 "I tell my family if they don't go the cheapest all the way, I'm coming back to haunt them. I also often say if it was legal, I'd be fine with a rock tied around my foot and being thrown into the nearest deep body of water." ~ Tcatgirl68 "I can't imagine expecting my loved ones to spend that much on my rotting corpse. ~ JudgeJuryEx78 Funerals aren't like weddings. The person being celebrated isn't being affected by whatever arrangements are made. If a person wants an elaborate funeral but has no means to pay for it, then they need to find a less expensive option or leave their final disposition up to the people who do have the means to pay for their burial or cremation. --- ### New Homeowner Livid After Realizing Mother-In-Law Tricked Them Into Buying Family Home To House Brother-In-Law **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/housing-autistic-brother-reddit/.md Disabled adult children who can't live independently require help with housing and day to day life. But isit ever a sibling's responsibility if their parents are still alive and capable of helping their adult child? A spouse turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback over this very question. Forced-girl asked: "AITA for making my brother-in-law (BIL) move out after realizing my mother-in-law (MIL) basically pushed us to buy this house so she wouldn’t have to house him?" The original poster (OP) explained: "My husband and I bought his late grandmother Gertrude’s house from her estate. My MIL 'Carla' pushed us HARD to buy this specific house. Like, really hard." "My BIL 'Kyle' had already been living in Gertrude’s basement for a few years before we bought it, and when we bought the house he just… never left." "There was never a conversation where my husband and I agreed that buying this house meant Kyle got to live with us indefinitely. We knew he was already there and obviously weren’t going to throw him out immediately, but we never agreed to permanently house him." "Now that the house is bought, Carla has gotten a lot more comfortable saying the quiet part out loud. She’s literally said she wanted 'her kids to be set' and that she pushed for this house because she didn’t want Kyle to be 'displaced'." "I'm gonna throw in a quick edit here, so no one can make assumptions. We have had multiple conversations about how long Kyle will be allowed to stay here, throughout the duration of the house buying process and moving in here. The conflict is coming up because Carla didn't expect us to put a timeframe on his occupancy or to stand our ground on it." "So basically, she didn’t want Kyle living with her, ('If he comes to live with me it will ruin my marriage!') and her solution was apparently getting us to buy the house he already lived in so he’d become our problem instead." "Every time we try to talk to her about Kyle moving out, she also suddenly brings up money." "My father-in-law (FIL) 'Bob' handled Gertrude’s estate and after the house sold, he received the seller’s proceeds check (the amount was less than 3% of what we're buying the house for. Roughly equivalent to one of my husband's paychecks on a slow week) and gifted the seller's proceeds check to my husband 'as a housewarming present'—Bob's exact words." "This DOES NOT MEAN that we got a 'free house'. I'm very confused on where some of you are getting that idea. We're gonna be paying on this house for the next 30 years at least." "There was no agreement that it was a loan or that we had to pay it back. Carla now insists we owe her that money and keeps using it to deflect from the Kyle situation. I think part of her motivation to have us buy the house was so she would get a payday ON TOP OF getting to shirk her responsibility to her grown child." "She even recently tried telling us we could lose our house over it, which turned out to be complete bullshit when I actually contacted the title company." "At this point we’re done. Kyle has been given formal notice to move out." "Carla is furious because according to her, Kyle staying here was basically part of the whole reason she wanted us to buy the house." "That's what I suspected from the beginning, and I tried to warn my husband against it, but she's very good at pulling the wool over his eyes and getting him to do exactly what she wants. They have a very toxic dynamic and it's been a point of contention." "But that’s exactly my problem. That was HER plan. Nobody bothered to make sure it was OUR plan before we bought the f*cking house." "We have our own kids and our own family. I don’t think buying a house means unknowingly signing up to house another grown adult forever because my MIL decided that arrangement worked best for her." "AITA?" "Sidenote: Kyle is on the autism spectrum. I want to mention that because I know it’s relevant context, but I also don’t want to imply that being autistic means he’s incapable of living independently or that autistic adults are automatically someone else’s responsibility." "My issue is not that Kyle is in the ASD spectrum. My issue is that Carla apparently made a long-term housing plan for him that involved our home, without ever actually getting our agreement." "Unfortunately Kyle's father has some substance abuse issues, that wouldn't be my first choice for Kyle's living situation. From everything I've seen in my years of being with my husband, Kyle shouldn't live on his own. In a perfect world, he'd go live with Carla so she can make sure he is appropriately taken care of, not spending his money inappropriately/ keeping up on his hygiene/ living in a clean area." "My husband has spent the entire entirety of his adult life being the one to take care of his brother, therefore he is fiercely protective of/ feels that he is responsible for Kyle. However he has voiced multiple times through the house buying process/moving in here (both to Kyle and Carla) that he has his own family now and cannot be on the hook/ be the only one looking out for Kyle; and his eyes the only people he needs to be responsible for is his wife and children." "He is torn because he doesn't want to kick his brother out with no backup plan but if Carla isn't going to step up, we have no clue what we'll do". OP later added: "FAQ because I left out a lot of context trying to keep the original post short which keeps coming up in the comments:" "Where is my husband in all of this? My husband is VERY much involved. These decisions are primarily being handled by him because Kyle is his brother." "He shares my views on the situation and is the one who served Kyle his 30 day notice. He is obviously concerned about his brother’s welfare, as am I, but we also have children of our own who are our first responsibility." "Can Kyle live independently? Realistically, no, at least not without significant support. He is autistic and struggles with things like personal hygiene, keeping his living area sanitary, trash picking and hoarding. Those behaviors are actually part of why continuing to have him live in our home isn’t working." "I’m not saying this to disparage him or autistic people generally; I’m explaining why simply telling him to go get an apartment by himself isn’t really the solution here." "Does Kyle even WANT to stay? No. Kyle doesn’t want to live here any more than we want him here. This isn’t some situation where Kyle is begging us to let him stay and we’re throwing him onto the street. The conflict is primarily with Carla and her expectation that his housing should continue being our responsibility." "Did Bob give you the house/the money in exchange for housing Kyle? No. We purchased this house. We have a mortgage. Bob gifting my husband the seller’s proceeds afterward did not make our house free, and Bob never told us the money was payment for housing Kyle nor attached any such condition to it. There was never an agreement that accepting that money meant Kyle could live here indefinitely." "So what do you expect to happen to Kyle? That’s something my husband is genuinely concerned about because he loves his brother. But we cannot make our household and our children responsible for permanently housing and caring for another adult because Carla doesn’t want that responsibility herself." "Kyle needs support, and we aren’t denying that. We’re saying that support cannot indefinitely be our home and our family by default. Carla is his mother and needs to be involved in figuring out an appropriate long-term living situation for her own son." "If Carla doesn't have Kyle out by the date on the notice, we'll be continuing with a formal eviction process." Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "NTA- but it was pretty dumb for you guys not to have a conversation with Kyle (or each other, apparently) about him moving out when you bought the house." ~ Awkward-Anybody5179 "OP says there were multiple conversations during the house buying process (so before they'd bought it) about Kyle not living there permanently and exactly how long he would be allowed to stay to find another place to live." "It doesn't sound like they ignored the problem until later--sounds like the mom just wouldn't listen to anything that didn't fit her pre conceived plan." ~ rainyhawk "Exactly. Laws vary by jurisdiction, but since he is a tenant, it isn’t as simple as removing a trespasser. The eviction process could take months and be costly if he’s not cooperative." ~ JustBrowsing49 "NTA based on what has been added when I'm seeing the post, but I have to say you and your husband were out of your minds to not realize that OF COURSE the whole point of her pushing was to make you responsible for Kyle forever." ~ HelenGonne "NTA - I think? Your MIL is a real piece of work though." ~ 2tiredforthis OP, her husband, and their children aren't responsible for anyone else's child. Social services offer caseworkers for disabled adults who can help sort out housing needs. --- ### Exhausted Parent Refuses To Make Dinner Late At Night After Husband Forgot To Buy Groceries After Work **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/husband-buy-groceries-reddit/.md Having access to food and money should be a bare minimum requirement in a marriage, but that's not always the case. A wife feeling isolated turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback. Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. Substantial_Home_713 asked: "AITAH for not making dinner at 9:30 PM?" The original poster (OP) explained: "My husband picked up extra work and was expected home at 8:00 PM." "I call him at 08:30 asking where he is because he was supposed to be bringing home a few ingredients so I could make us dinner. I made the kids dinner, fed and put them to bed after being home with them for 12+ hours by myself." "He answers and starts a FaceTime and he’s still at work, laughing with his coworkers, eating a donut." "I asked him why he’s still there if he’s not actually working because I’m tired, I’m hungry and I’m waiting on him so I can make dinner." "He says he will be home after a bit." "He gets home at 09:30 and didn’t bring the ingredients I needed to make dinner and is mad I’m no longer cooking. I showered and now I’m in bed; dinner-less because we don’t have groceries." "AITAH for not making dinner when he was just lollygagging after work and couldn’t be bothered to stop at the store?" "I didn’t plan this dinner at 08:00 pm. I planned it around 3:00 PM when he typically gets off work and asked him to go to the store. He agreed and then came back later and said he was working late." "We live in Mexico after his deportation. We filed for him to receive a marriage-based permanent residence (Green Card) and that’s a years long process. He also had DACA. I’m not sure if you’re keeping up with what that administration is doing, but they are taking people who have the right to be there and are working and paying taxes." "I’m not yet fluent in Spanish to navigate the grocery store by myself. First and foremost, things are not labeled. Secondly, meat and chicken is very different here and you can’t tell what’s what if you’re not from here or used to the options they have." "I’m an adult capable of taking care of children. I’m sure if it was that simple to grocery shop, I wouldn’t be posting about how I can’t quite navigate the markets yet by myself." "I had enough to feed my children and he was supposed to stop by the store on his way home. I didn’t plan to cook dinner that late, I planned the the meal at 3:00 pm and asked him to bring the ingredients on his way home. He agreed. I didn’t have enough groceries to feed my children and myself." "If I did go to the store myself, he’s in control of the money. I didn’t have the pesos to go, either way." "We don’t have 'take out' I am in rural Jalisco, in a small town of less than 20,000." "I am learning the local dialect of Spanish, it’s just not happening overnight! I’ve been here less than 4 months and knew nothing before coming." "I do use Google translate sometimes, but people here still don’t understand what I’m saying because it gives Spain Spanish, not rural Mexico Spanish." Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not wrong, but was in a precarious situation (NTA). "Living in a country where you don’t feel able to access shops and service, and have no access to money sound precarious. I would think about changing that." ~ Fridadog1 "It sounds abusive, honestly. Financial abuse plus not keeping any food in the house so OP is going hungry also sounds like physical abuse." ~ bananapineapplesauce "Notice how when they FaceTime’d, he was eating? Guarantee he got himself dinner before getting home." ~ godlingcaptain "He was eating in front of her, knowing she had no food. This is not a good partner." ~ allyearswift. "If he was deported are you and your children still allowed back in the country he was deported from? Because if he's in charge of the money and you're struggling with the language and he's coming home late with no groceries it might be time to head home. NTA." ~ BeACodeMistake "Yeah, NTA about the dinner, but the dinner is the least of what's in this post. you're in a country where you can't navigate a supermarket alone, with no access to money, waiting on a man to decide when you eat, that's not a chore dispute." ~ DeskInRain "Not to mention children who cant care for themselves. Go home, sis. Call mom or dad or whoever loves you and those children and have them come get you!" ~ 2MuchRealityTV "Seriously. The dinner is one thing, but having no access to money or basic independence while caring for the kids is a much bigger concern." ~ viusa107 "Exactly. She literally followed him into this situation just to keep their family together and he can’t be bothered to come home when he says he will, with groceries he said he would bring?" "On what planet would her not making dinner be her fault? You can’t make dinner with hopes and dreams." ~ Lazy-Instruction-600 "Right OP, I know it'd easy to focus on the little incidents than taking on the bigger issues that seem overwhelming, but you need to prioritize your safety. This includes financial safety. Why the f*ck do you accept not having access to money?" "If he's too controlling and refuses your acces to the MUTUAL accounts you have the right to as the wife, then start planning your return to your country and your divorce. You're arranging the deckchairs while the Titanic is sinking." ~ NegativeJuggernaut62 "Seriously! Go to your embassy, get assistance to get back where you know the language. Take the kids, because they likely do not speak the language there either, right?" ~ No_Professional8624 "NTA. I wouldn't have waited on him and would've eaten with the kids. He's a grown man. He can feed himself." ~ Chay_Charles "Honestly if he's getting home at 9:30 PM, he should probably have fed himself earlier. It doesn't make sense to me that he knew he was working late, but didn't eat dinner on his own?" ~ Collette_Schumer "He also wanted to be fed when he got home, but didn't buy anything to cook with. How is dinner going to miraculously appear?" ~ CheersDog31 "He ate donuts at work at dinnertime, he's fine." ~ mwenechanga "I’m just sad that there are people, especially with kids, that don’t have food in their freezer or pantry that they can cook. If I couldn’t get groceries, it would be about a month before we ran out of food." ~ ForeverFieldsFD "NTA. Get out. Do you know the truth when you saw him eating a doughnut laughing while you were putting your children to bed and asking about your own dinner. You’re worth more than that." ~ hippywitch "Girl you already knew the answer before you even started typing this post." ~ labospor "This is more than just about food. You are literally a prisoner in your home because if there was any emergency you are deliberately under equipped to handle it." "Your husband is not a good person. You need to call your family and embassy/consulate for help. You are being abused." ~ Plane_Practice8184 "Deported from the US, disrespects his wife, doesn't care if she goes hungry, doesn't care that the kids will go hungry in the morning because there's no food left in the house. I'd say it's time for some serious consideration on getting the hell out of there." ~ Germanium235 "So you're in a country where you don't speak the language and you don't get to have any money? And he regularly leaves you without food? This doesn't sound ideal." ~ Oi_Nander "You have much bigger problems than dinner. Come back to whichever country you are from. Is it America? Come back to America. This guy is no good. (NTA)." ~ GCU_ZeroCredibility "I'm more concerned that you are financially reliant on a man in a foreign country. That doesn't seem like a good plan." ~ Gertrudethecurious "Oh honey, can you take the kids and go back home? He is financially abusive, he isolates you. He starves you. NTA." ~ yhaensch "NTA. You’re in a place where you can’t communicate effectively and have no access to money? You sound captive. Your husband sounds like an inconsiderate jerk. I hope this isn’t normal behaviour because if it is, you’re being abused." ~ sun4moon "NTA. And I would heavily suggest to change that 'he is in control of the money' and learn Spanish. Because currently he controls your whole life. You are in a foreign country, no money, and don't know the language while he is fine and has fun. Toxic and dangerous." ~ Freestila "This sounds like a bad situation. You’re in a country where you don’t speak the language fluently with a controlling man and no access to money, plus children are involved." "It’s time to start a plan. Set aside some time every day to work on your fluency and find a job so you can earn your own money that you can keep separate from him. I hope things get better for you soon." ~ Hey-Just-Saying "The groceries are the least of this lady’s problems. She needs to go to the embassy of whatever country she is from and get herself and her kids out of there. Hopefully he doesn’t have her passport or identity papers." ~ Substantial_Dance486 OP is pretty reliant on her husband right now. He needs to recognize that and behave accordingly or OP needs to return home with her children until her language skills improve and her husband can provide a more equitable home. --- ### Woman Sets Off Roommate By Installing Lock On Bedroom Door To Prevent Her From Stealing Her Clothes **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/roommate-borrow-clothes-reddit/.md With housing scarce in many areas, people are forced to share space in less than ideal conditions. One issue that arises among anyone who cohabitates is borrowing each others possessions. Preset boundaries and a clear understanding are key to avoiding conflict. But there's no guarantees that previously agreed upon rules will be followed. A woman turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback over a conflict with her roommate. Any_Introduction1165 asked: "AITA for putting a lock on my bedroom door because my roommate keeps taking my clothes while I’m sleeping?" The original poster (OP) explained: "I (22, female) live with my roommate (24, female), and I work night shifts at a hospital. Because of my schedule, I usually sleep during the day and am awake/work overnight." "My roommate is very into minimalism and what she calls 'underconsumption.' She doesn’t own a lot of clothes, makeup, etc... I genuinely don’t judge her for this. If anything, I think it’s great if that’s what works for her." "The issue is that she has started using my things." "She has asked me a few times if she can borrow some of my clothes, and I told her that I’m completely fine with her borrowing most of my clothes, as long as she asks first and returns them. Obviously, underwear and socks are off limits, but other than that, I don’t really care." "My makeup is a different story. I’ve told her clearly that I’m not comfortable sharing makeup because of hygiene reasons, especially things like mascara, lip products, etc... That’s a hard boundary for me." "The problem is that she doesn’t actually ask before taking my clothes. Since I sleep during the day, she has apparently figured out that she can just come into my room while I’m asleep, take something, wear it, and put it back later. I’ve woken up several times and realized that something I had left in my room was gone." "When I’ve asked her about it, she’ll say something like, 'I was just borrowing it,' as if that makes it okay. I’ve repeatedly told her that I don’t mind her borrowing my clothes, but she needs to ask me first. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable request, especially since they’re my clothes and they’re in my bedroom." "A few days ago, I got tired of this and put a lock on my bedroom door. I started locking it when I’m sleeping and when I’m at work. My roommate is now upset and says I’m making the apartment feel hostile and that she doesn’t understand why I need to lock my door when she’s 'only borrowing things'." "She also thinks I’m being dramatic because I’ve already told her she can borrow my clothes. I told her that I’ve given her permission to borrow them when she asks, not permission to come into my room while I’m sleeping and take whatever she wants." "She says I’m making a big deal out of clothes and that I should be more understanding because she doesn’t have as much stuff as I do. I don’t think owning more clothes means I’m obligated to share them without being asked, but maybe the lock was excessive." So, AITA for putting a lock on my bedroom door after my roommate repeatedly comes into my room while I’m sleeping and takes my clothes without asking?" "By the way, I checked with the landlord. The lock is fine from his perspective!" "I have only been putting up with this because I can’t afford an apartment on my own and haven’t been able to find something else with roommates yet. Because she has been living there a lot longer than I have, I don’t think the landlord would evict her." "Honestly the only reason she still can 'borrow' my stuff is just because I am scared that it would result with me being kicked out." Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "You wrote, 'My roommate is very into minimalism and what she calls underconsumption'. Easy for her to say this and then just use your things. She's not a minimalist, she's a mooch." "NTA. Her inability to listen is not your problem. She created an issue by stealing your things. And taking something without permission is stealing." "I'd also tell her she can no longer borrow anything even if she directly asks." ~ Muted-Appeal-823 "She's not into under consumption. She's into taking other people's stuff." ~ andrea1797 "Yeah, why is it so hard for her to ask first? She just wants to take things without permission. Thinking it's better to steal makes OP's decision to lock her door the right thing to do." "I always find this 'you have more while I have less so you should be more understanding and give' a prelude for the other person to become entitled of the owner's stuff. It never ends well." ~ IceSeeker "She only has less because she decided to have less. Seriously, she can't use that argument when it was her decision to have less." "If she's complaining she can go buy more clothes or go to a thrift store. It's not OP's problem that her roomate made a decision and is clearly unhappy in her decision and refuses to fix the problem she f*cking created." ~ kaydenwolf_lynx "Under purchasing, but normal consumption." ~ cortesoft "She's into material things. She's just not into paying for them herself." ~ MerryChayse "It's perfectly reasonable for you to not lend out your things to housemates. This might upset your housemate, but there's no reason it would lead to being kicked out." "You asked your landlord about getting a lock, which means they know about you, which means you're not illegally subletting and therefore the person who decides whether you get kicked out or not is your landlord." "Your landlord is definitely not going to kick you out for not lending your clothes out." ~ Antlorn "Give her a list of thrift stores nearby and tell her to buy her own clothes." ~ Nearby-Ad5666 "NTA. Your low-consumption roomie, is a parasite. She relies on your consumerism to pad her wardrobe. Then she sneaks in when you are asleep?" "The apartment isn't hostile...just your room is off-limits to browsers when you are not there to say yay or nay. What is it with entitled people who abuse their roommates trust calling countermeasures to their sticky fingered activities 'hostile'?" "If I were in your place, some sh*t would be happening to anyone sneaking in to nip my stuff while I'm asleep. That would be hostile.You are right to put the lock on." "And if her entitled a** starts waking you up to ask, she deserves to be told off and have the door slammed in her face. Also, hostile, and yet valid." ~ Teahouse_Fox "NTA. Clothes aside, she should not be coming into your room when you're asleep. That would genuinely freak me out and I'd move." ~ DontEatThePorridge "NTA your clothes are not her property. Why do you still want to live with this person. I would leave asap." ~ foxdogturtlecat "NTA. I would be concerned she's still using your makeup products. Make sure your stuff is secured if you share a bathroom. If your bathroom is attached to your bedroom, she may have used them while tiptoeing in like a nasty little thief while you slept. Seriously, how does she not see that's f*cking creepy." ~ godihatepeople "I was going to comment this. OP she is definitely using your makeup if it’s out somewhere she can get to. She is not trustworthy and just assume anything not locked in your room is being 'borrowed' by her." ~ Calm-Jello4802 "How did she know you put a lock on your door if she didn’t first try entering your room to take something? Putting the lock on the door didn’t create anything, it simply provided you with a barrier against her doing whatever she wants in your space and with your possessions." "She’s taking her anger towards you and calling it hostility from you. She’s not into under consuming, she’s into under spending her own money and letting someone else foot the bill." "You need to clearly rescind your offer and tell her it’s because she has clearly communicated she is untrustworthy and doesn’t respect you. The lock is simply a physical barrier. NTA." ~ guavagirl3 "NTA. Your roommate is trying to gaslight you. That's what that is... Reflect it back at her. You're making a big deal about me getting a lock for my private room." "Don't touch the door knob and you won't even realize it's locked.Nothing you're doing about that is hostile. Her ignoring boundaries is the hostile act. And she's upset because you physically made it impossible for her to ignore it." "I'm guessing her household did not have very many boundaries or she was taught through example not to respect them.I can bet she's used your makeup without you realizing it. She probably takes food too." ~ Separate_Dream4412 "It sounds like her 'underconsumption' doesn’t work for her if she’s stealing your sh*t. Stop letting her borrow anything. She can get her own damn clothes." ~ Intelligent-Proof616 OP probably should look at a new living situation if her setting boundaries isn't going to be respected or accepted by her current roommate. --- ### Parent Livid When Husband Only Made Dinner For Himself And Daughter After They Got Home From Long Shift **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/burning-man-dinner-reddit/.md No relationship is perfect, and everyone will make mistakes from time to time. It's what they do to make the situation better that makes the difference. But when a romantic partner makes one bad decision after another and never apologizes or tries to fix the problems they're causing, it sets a pattern for the relationship, cautioned members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit. Redditor meow_hun's husband recently went to Burning Man without her, even though she really wanted to go with him, and when he got back, she felt like he didn't appreciate all that she did, and she felt emotionally neglected. But when her husband went so far as to make dinner for himself and their daughter, leaving nothing for her to eat when she got home late from work, it became much clearer to the Original Poster (OP) exactly how he felt about her. She asked the sub: "Am I overreacting for being upset that I came home and discovered my partner had made dinner only for himself and our daughter?" The OP had a hurtful surprise waiting for her when she got home from work. "I commute an hour each way for work, which means I don’t get home until around 6:30." "Tonight, I stopped at the store on my way home to pick up vegetables for dinner." "When I walked in, I realized he had already made dinner, meaning he reheated leftovers for himself and our daughter." "There wasn’t enough left for me. He hadn’t even considered that I might be hungry or want dinner too." This only further validated the OP feeling ignored and underappreciated. "Normally, something like this might just annoy me, but it comes on the heels of a much bigger issue." "He recently left for Burning Man for a week, leaving me to take care of our daughter over the long weekend." "On top of being left alone, I have never been, and it has been my dream for 15 years to go, and he completely ignored me. I love art and music." "When he came home, I told him that I felt like he wasn’t appreciative of everything I had handled while he was gone." "We have been fighting almost nonstop since he got back, and most of it stems from the same underlying feeling: I feel deeply underappreciated, and like my happiness and mental health are very low on his list of priorities." The OP felt conflicted about her relationship. "So tonight, I was really angry. I understand that I may be conflating tonight’s dinner situation with everything else that has happened recently, which is why I’m questioning my reaction." "Am I overreacting by being upset that my partner didn’t consider me when making dinner plans, ate without me, and finished the leftovers without thinking about whether I had eaten?" "I didn’t start a fight. He kept asking me why I was mad, then I finally couldn't take it anymore, and I said, 'Thanks for dinner,' and went into my room because I was too angry and hurt to deal with it in that moment." "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting A few admitted that the OP might be feeling extra angry because of Burning Man. "Did you tell him you were going somewhere after work? Is it Possible he assumed you went out after work and just made food cause your child was hungry?" "I say YOUR child because you refer to them as 'my' child, by the way." "Overall, yes, I think you are lashing out over the Burning Man issue, and this has little to do with this evening's meal." - CrimsonFangKnight "If there is a pattern of behavior, it's very much worth it to confront this now. If this predates Burning Man, then it's an issue that is greater then that incident." "As someone that swallowed my feelings for too long, I want to stress that you need to confront this now because resentment is really hard to move beyond once it burrows its way into your heart." "You need to have a long, open and honest talk with him about the behaviors that are troubling you and how you feel." - TombThugNHarmony But most felt that the OP's husband was being inconsiderate and definitely not appreciating her or thinking about her needs. "NOR. He did that on purpose. I’m actually mad on your behalf." - littlepotatoface "I'm guessing they were leftovers from a meal you previously cooked too. So he didn't even make the dinner; he just couldn't even be bothered to save you some of your own leftovers. That's pretty vile, to be honest." - LoveSuchs86 "What if those leftovers were meant for lunch tomorrow? My husband worked a closing shift today, and he made me breakfast, and I was home and not even working!" "Adults should all contribute to meals and cleaning, and reheating leftovers doesn't count as a meal here. Also when was the last time he did groceries?" - EnvironmentalQuit236 "NOR. Burning Man without you??? Really???" "I am allllll for couples having independence and their own friends and making their own plans and not being stuck together at the hip all the time. My partner isn’t into music festivals, so I go with my friends all the time." "HOWEVER, Burning Man is literally so weird to go to without your partner if you’re in a relationship, ESPECIALLY if said partner actually wants to go as well, going without them is so dodgy…" "You DO realise the stuff that goes on at Burning Man, right? It is so far removed from being just an arts and music festival anymore." - Normal-Tackle-5329 "NOR. Honestly, because of the Burning Man attendance is the exact reason why you should be annoyed. He seems to do what he wants with little concern for your needs." - callalind "It might be because of how I was raised, but I can not imagine allowing my wife or my kids to go hungry for the night while I have a full belly. I typically cook for my house, and there has been times I screwed up dinner or just underestimated how much I should have made, and I made sure my family was fed, and I went without." "Usually by hiding it from them so that they didn't feel guilty eating a full portion. Easy to pretend you ate too much while cooking." "But everything else makes this even worse. NOR." - sibre2001 "We're not traditional like this at all. In our family, we sometimes eat together, sometimes not, depending on schedules and preferences." "But never ever would we not make sure everyone's fed and happy at the end of the day. To have two people eat together without asking the third about their meal plans would be unthinkable. So thoughtless." - r_coefficient "You’re right. You’re very low on his list of priorities. He weaponized his tantrum after being called out for leaving for a week. He’s trying to teach you that you aren’t allowed to question any selfish thing he does. He had the gall to ask if you were mad. I hope the dick is worth all this." - HotDonnaC "NOR. You are like many moms these days. Your husband isn’t working with you to make life easier for you both." "I would never make dinner for just myself unless my partner and I agreed that was the plan. We always check in around dinner to agree on the meal and divide up the work." "Do you have any trips for yourself planned? If not, get on that. You need to be just as bold as him to take time away and recharge. He will see all that you do while you are gone." - Physical_Recording27 "NOR … considering his attitude, leaving you to watch his child while he goes and pretends he’s single and 19 again, and his inability to put himself in your shoes…" "What keeps you with this man? Not what he did for you ten years ago or after the birth of your child. What keeps you with him right now, TODAY?" - Comfortable-Item-184 Not only did the subReddit completely understand why the OP was upset over there not being enough food for her to eat and being intentionally left out of dinner with her partner and her child, but they also pointed out that there seemed to be a pattern building in this relationship, and it wasn't a good one. The OP's partner was choosing to go to any event that he wanted, regardless of how she felt about it or if she also wanted to go with him; he was willing to leave her alone with their child for days at a time with no concern for supporting her, and he was willing to leave her out of very simple but important acts, like setting aside a dinner plate for her to make sure she had something to eat, regardless of what time she got home. They all seem like little acts, but they add up quickly, especially later in a marriage. --- ### Redditor Threatens To Divorce Wife If She Sees The Guy That She Broke Their Open Relationship Rules Over **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/open-relationship-boundaries-reddit/.md Marriage looks different to different people. For some, it's a lifelong commitment to only one person. Emotional, romantic, or sexual attachments with other people are strictly verboten. But for other couples, marriage doesn't mean monogamy. Those relationships generally fall into a few categories: Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM): umbrella term for relationships where all partners are fully aware and consent to outside connections Open Marriage: primary partnership where spouses remain emotionally or legally committed to each other while pursuing outside sexual partners Swinging: lifestyle where a married couple engages in recreational sexual activities with other people, often together as a social or group activity Polyamory: multiple, simultaneous loving and committed relationships with the knowledge of everyone involved. A husband who's done with his open marriage turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback. Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. Kampur asked: "AITAH for not wanting my wife to hang out with someone that hates me?" The original poster (OP) explained: "My wife and I got married young and have been together for a few years. We live on a farm about an hour outside the nearest city, and we don't have many friends." "A while back we decided to try an open relationship, despite both of us being a bit jealous. Part of the reasoning was social: basically every guy who tries to talk to her ends up hitting on her, and we figured this way she could actually keep some of those friendships instead of having to cut people off." "The problem is that recently she caught feelings for one of these guys." "It went way past flirting or small talk, they became close friends, and he started saying things like he was going to 'fix' our open relationship, that he wanted to marry her and have kids with her, and that he wanted her to move to his city, along with some other things that also broke our open-relationship boundaries, which she hid from me, but I ended up finding out." "This crossing of the boundaries we had set for the open relationship ended up on us having a big fight about it. I was honestly ready to end things." "We spent a few nights talking it through, trying to figure out whether we should separate. During that time, she kind of panicked and went to her friend group (which includes this guy) to vent." "They all agreed that our relationship was garbage and that we should break up. This guy went as far as buying a last-minute ticket and traveling to our city to be with her and 'offer good company'." "But while he was on his way here, my wife and I actually worked things out. We talked, and I agreed to give her a second chance, with one condition: I didn't want her getting involved with the people who spent that week trashing me and pushing her to leave, especially this guy, given what he said and did." "She cried, got angry, and defended him hard. She said she didn't want to be 'an a**hole' to him after he made the effort to come here for her. She also now wants to take a break from the relationship, go stay in the city by herself and 'go out'... which happens to line up exactly with the days this guy is in town." "To be clear: I know I can't control what she does. I told her I'm fine with her keeping online friendships (Discord, etc.). What I said is that if she goes to see this guy or hooks up with him, that's going to hurt me a lot and she'd be putting the relationship at serious risk." "To me, that's a dealbreaker." "There's also a broader pattern. My wife vents about our relationship to all her friends like they're couples therapists. She admits she does it to check whether she's 'right' and to get validation and sympathy. The way she tells it, these people end up disliking me, and then they push her toward leaving." "So, AITAH for treating this guy (and this group) as a dealbreaker? And is it normal to be bothered by how she talks about our relationship to her friends?" "We both like what we have, we have a house, we have everything we've built together, and also, she cannot be alone." "She says I am indebted to her because she raised me to become who I am. She doesn't have a job or anything of value, but she claims it's because she dedicated her life to me like a mother, as I am kinda her provider." "She has strong anxiety and cannot handle being alone, so if I leave she will have nothing, and will be desperate looking for someplace or someone to stay..." OP added a synopsis of the situation: "Open relationship, wife caught feelings for a guy who said he'd 'fix' our marriage and wanted to marry her. During a rough patch her friends (including him) told her to leave me and he flew in last minute to be with her." "We reconciled, and I asked her not to get involved with him or that group. She's furious, says I'm being unfair to him, and wants to 'take a break' alone in the city while he's here." "AITAH?" Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not wrong to set a reasonable boundary (NTA). "You just named the worst (and saddest) reasons to stay married to someone. You must know that. 'You have to stay with me because I'm like your mother and I need your money and I'll be sad if you go' is not a foundation for a marriage." ~ pnw_cfb_girl "Your baseline for normal is so off it's currently flying past Pluto and set to leave the solar system. She's probably not super consciously aware she's manipulating you, but she's done a bang up job." "You are the manipulated, the manipulated is you. You're gonna suffer so she can be fine, and then she's just going to do what she wants." "It should be 50 50. Where's your 50 percent? You're doing all the giving, she's doing all the taking. She's extractive. Get out, have the chance at happiness you deserve." ~ composedofidiot "With all due respect, that sounds like she’s monkey branching and doesn’t want you to wise up until she’s got her next setup in place. She 'raised you?' Like a trained circus animal?" "So she openly disrespects you and your relationship to every single one of her friends, but credit where it’s due, at least she also does it straight to your face too." "If that’s how you want the rest of your life to play out, then brother, I wish you the best." ~ phoenixjen8 "Monkey branching" is a dating behavior where someone in a committed relationship secures or lines up a new romantic or emotional partner before breaking up with their current one. "So she’s just using you as a provider, whilst completely disrespecting your relationship and choosing others over you?She isn’t your mother and did not raise you. She’s supposed to be your partner, but failing spectacularly." "You are essentially just her meal ticket and carer. Tell her to f*ck off and let the other guy look after her from now on. And refuse to take her back when he realises what she is really like and he dumps her immature, selfish and highly manipulative a**." "She’s playing you like a fiddle mate. This woman doesn’t love you and never has, she just loves what you provide for her." ~ MrsSEM84 "That is a very manipulative foundation for the relationship. You do not owe her staying in the relationship because it’s what she needs." "You are not indebted to her, and being in a relationship with her is no way to repay a debt in the first place. Stay if it’s right for you. I would leave." ~ My_Dramatic_Persona "No one is ever obligated to be in a relationship, but if you still needed to be 'raised' you have even less obligation. As you grow up, what is right for you will change. You won't be the same person at 40 as you were at 18." "That's likely to mean the right person for you is someone different. And I say that despite being with my husband for 30 years—we happen to have grown together." "Dedicating your life to someone generally includes loyalty. That means not being friends with people who are anti your partner. It means not lying/breaking relationship boundaries." "Male friends who just want to hit on you is not a problem unique to your wife. Most of us choose either not having male friends or (my preference) having quality friends and clear communication/boundaries." "Deciding to just sleep with people to bribe them into friendship is an odd choice." "As far as we know, you get one life. Don't spend it being responsible for someone else's anxiety." ~ Cevanne46 "NTA. If she wants to continue in the relationship she shouldn't be maintaining that kind of relationship with someone who's goal is to break you two up. His intentions aren't in line with what she told you she wants." ~ ZoomZoomZachAttack OP provided an update: "She's currently in the other room talking to the other guy and a bunch of his friends making plans to go out. I am packing my bags up as we speak, thank you everyone." OP has decided he's no longer responsible for his wife's happiness. As the saying goes, don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. --- ### Parent Refuses To Attend Daughter's Engagement Dinner If New Wife Isn't Also Invited **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/daughter-engagement-dinner-reddit/.md Losing a parent can be a gut-wrenching experience. Some children never fully recover from the grief. And leftover anger can be misdirected at the surviving parent. When the surviving parent moves on, it can feel like a betrayal. This can lead to many impossible situations. Redditor Issuefamily-Yak-9767 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. They asked: "AITA for telling my kids that my wife isn’t going anywhere and if she isn’t welcome I am not coming?" The Original Poster (OP) explained: "My ex-wife and I got divorced when all the of the kids were adults." "The marriage wasn’t a good one, and I stayed for the kids basically, which I regret." "I will call her Pearl for this to make it clearer." "We both worked, but she found no joy in her job." "It was constant arguing, and she was extremely unpleasant towards me after a bad day." "She also had habits of addictive behavior." "She would become obsessed with something and do it 24/7." "She lost multiple jobs this way." "When I divorced her, she went off the deep end." "She fell heavily into alcohol and passed away after she got in a car accident." "(She was drunk." "The kid was already taking the divorce badly, and her death afterward was really bad." "I offered to pay for counseling, but they refused." "They blame me for their mom's passing." "Dating made it worse." "They believe I am replacing their mom, and when I married, they became nasty about it." "My wife has done nothing to them, and they are di*ks to her." "I have spoken to them multiple times, and they are now civil to her face." "The issue, my daughter is having her engagement dinner, and I am the only one who was invited." "When I asked, she told me that it was only for family, and my wife isn’t family." "I told her my wife isn’t going anywhere, and if she is not invited, I am not going." "This started an argument, and she is pissed. " "My other kids are telling me that they feel the same, and she ain’t family." "I brought up if they can not invite their S O to things because apparently marriage doesn’t make them family, and they told me that was different." "I am holding strong on this, but they all think I am a di*k." "Timeline form comment ( I can’t keep up with questions, look at my comments)." "The divorce took about 1.5 years to be finalized, then Pearl passed about 1.5 years after." "3 years after I brought up divorce, I was dating my now wife when Pearl passed." "I married her around 2.5 years after my wife’s passing, and my daughter got engaged about 1.5 years after we had been married." "So, 7 years after the divorce, I moved out." "4 years since Pearl's death." The OP was left to wonder: "AITA?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Her INFO - More Information Needed Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole. "NTA, however, is this a hill you want to die on?" "You can't replace your relationship with your children." "Edit: Doing some digging, it appears OP isn't being honest with the details." "Check out this user's comment on the other post and the attached article... "(https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA_Relationships/s/VjMtDuWqGN)" ~ narfinator96 "His kids need to stop redirecting their grief onto him and his wife and get counseling." "They are adults and should act like it." "While he can't replace a relationship with his kids, should he allow him and his wife to be a punching bag over his ex-wife's passing away from her own bad decisions?" ~ octillery "Agreed. The wife is innocent in all of this, and yet they're deliberately very nasty to her just because she married their dad." "OP is right to stand by her." "Their bad behavior has to stop." "While they don't have to like her, they have to treat her with basic respect and be civil at least." ~ IceSeeker "One cannot dictate another person's behavior." "One can set a boundary." "OP set the boundary that his wife be included in family events." "The daughter said no." "So OP can control his behavior (as he suggested) and not attend." "That is the only appropriate action." "If his daughter wants her dad there more than she wants to ostracize his wife, she may decide to change her mind." "That said, that’s up to her. OP, enforce your boundaries and do as you stated, or not, and have your children walk over your boundaries whenever they want." ~ Effective_Pie1312 "Exactly this." "My ex-husband went through something similar." "His family didn't like that he was gay and would only give him single invitations to family events, even once he and I had become serious." "He put his foot down and said, "This is my partner, going forward, either he is invited like everyone else's partners, or I am not attending.'" "He didn't attend a wedding that did not include a plus one, and a family gathering that didn't explicitly include me in the invite, and apparently, the family learned their mistake because after that, going forward, he suddenly got an invite for all future family events for him and a plus one." "Hold your boundaries, OP." "They need to stop using your wife as a scapegoat for the grief they are refusing to let go of." "Denying your wife will not bring their mom back." ~ Few-Adeptness8046 "Totally agree." "At the same time, the kids are adults." "Does she even want to be in the OP's kids' lives?" "Like, does she even want to go to the engagement party?" "If I were her, I wouldn’t." "I would have accepted I wasn’t going to fulfill the step-parent role and would just expect my husband to have a separate relationship with his kids." "The only sticking point would be holidays." "I would expect my husband to celebrate holidays with me, and if he wanted to celebrate with his kids, it would be fine as long as I still had time with him." ~ sraydenk "Honestly, as both a daughter of divorced parents and a divorced mom, I respect that." "Your peace should come first, and to be honest, it sounds like your kids are being immature a**holes about it." "I swear more people need to realize that it 'takes two to tango,' so to speak." "Divorce rarely happens because of one person." "Yes, it's tragic that she died, but in my opinion, she did it to herself." "That was so selfish of her and sounds like her final '**k you.'" "Sorry if I'm not being sensitive enough." "My mom was a toxic narcissist who tried for most of my childhood to ruin my relationship with my dad. I'm just so tired of the lack of accountability people have these days." ~ HarleighQwin "You also say they blame you, which I think is the main focus." "I understand protecting your wife, but since they blame you (and your wife by extension), it's okay to put some boundaries in place." "Kids, I love you, and I understand you are grieving." "But taking your grief out on me or others won't lessen your own pain." "I'm here for you if you need me and am still willing to offer counseling, but I will not be someone you can abuse nor someone you can blame for your mother's passing. - or something along those lines." ~ Desperate_Net3878 "These situations are never easy to give a clear answer to." "There's always a lot bubbling below the surface, and we can't know what that is for you or your daughter." "My question to you would be, do you want to be a part of your daughter's life or not?" "If the answer is yes, then the question would be, 'How important is it to me?"' "If the answer is that while it's important, my relationship with my wife is equally or more important, and if I have to choose, I will pick my wife." "You are not the AH to pick your wife (your child is an adult)." "If you want to eventually have a harmonious relationship with your daughter that includes your wife, then you need to find a way to keep the doors of communication open, and making it an ultimatum will close the door." ~ Fondacey "I went NC with my dad for a while, so definitely not judging that portion of it, but I’m confused on your warning in this specific context?" "OP’s children are willfully treating his wife poorly when they wouldn’t tolerate that treatment (or even this exact scenario) from their dad towards their own partners." "I understand they’re grieving their mother, but that’s not a license to misplace their hurt and treat their dad or his wife poorly." "Sure, his daughter is entitled to have who she wants at her engagement dinner, but his reaction to this is due to compounding exclusionary treatment, and he’s not wrong to be hurt by it." ~ Tangled_Up_In_Dreams "NTA. You can't control your kids' behavior and attitude; you can only control your reaction to them." "Stay calm as you explain that this is your hill to die on." "They don't have to call her their step-mother or anything else; they just need to be civil." "If they won't do that, you're right to skip the festivities." ~ Itchy_Juice_2528 "NTA. Divorce happens, and it was between you and your wife." "Your kids are adults, and it's sad that they don't understand this." ~ caryn1477 Reddit is with you, OP. This is a sad and difficult situation for everybody. Your kids are still clearly in deep stages of grief. They're entitled to their feelings. And you are entitled to live your life freely. Hopefully, you can all find common ground. Good Luck. --- ### Woman Asks If It's Wrong To Hold Grudge After Mom Told Her When She 8 Years Old That She Wished She'd Aborted Her **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/grudge-mom-abortion-reddit/.md While some people view having and raising children as the greatest blessing, some parents hold their children's existence against them for their entire lives. And when they feel that way about their children, they're unfortunately typically pretty honest about it, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit. Redditor heavelymango knew from the time she was young that her mother did not really like her and significantly favored her sister. But when her mother told her at the age of eight that she wished she had aborted her, the Original Poster (OP) held on to that grudge for years after the fact. She asked the sub: "AIO for still holding a grudge over a comment my mom said when I was 8 years old?" The OP had a grudge against her mother. "I (22 Female) have been holding onto a grudge due to something my mom told me when I was roughly eight or nine years old." "Growing up, I was a rebellious kid and always felt as if my mom favored my older sister. My sister would always get whatever she wanted." "I know she was born with Down syndrome and always needed more attention and care, but if my sister wanted my tablet, for example, she would have it for the whole day while mine was limited to 30 minutes so she could have it." "As a kid, I lashed out more because of this. She could take all of my things, but I could never use hers." During a heated moment, the OP's mother said something unforgivable. "Eventually, this led to an argument with my mom. I don't recall the whole thing, but it was related to my sister and how I felt my mom didn't care about me or give me the same amount of attention." "The fight got heated, and I probably told my mom that I hated my sister and her." "I remember she said back, 'I never wanted you from the start. I knew I should've aborted you when I had the chance.'" " I didn't know what aborted meant at the time, and I remember I looked it up, and it made me cry. I never forgot it, and it lingers in my mind whenever I am home." The OP's mother pressured her to "let it go" and move on. "Even growing up, I still brought it up, and she would get mad, saying I need to let it go and how I'm stubborn for not just forgetting what she said." "There was even a time in high school when she took me to a therapist, and she complained about how I never dropped what she said." "She says I need to move on from it because it has affected my relationship with her, and she wants to fix it." "I know I'm older now and it was so long ago, but it still hurts, and I feel like it's made me not want to have her in my life in the future, and I have told this to her." "How I don't want her in my life once I move out, get married, or have my own kids." "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some reassured the OP that this sounded like a core memory more than a grudge. "The axe forgets. The tree remembers." "It sounds less like you're holding a grudge and more that this is a formative, core memory for you." "It won't stop being a core memory (unless maybe with the help of a lot of therapy). Has your mom ever apologized for saying that? Because you don't have to forget to forgive, but if she's not remorseful for saying that terrible thing to her young child (not just remorseful that you remember it), then she probably needs therapy (or is a narcissist/sociopath/similar)." "You are certainly not obligated to 'get over it.'" - Hot-Can3615 "This is not a 'grudge'; it is pain that is still felt to such a degree. If she said it, then she was thinking it. She'll probably never apologize, but that doesn't mean your pain is or was invalid." - Fast_Register_9480 "NOR. This kind of thing needs a real apology. Like she needs to acknowledge the damage and genuinely care about it. Brushing it off won’t make it go away." - TentacleWolverine "NOR. Did she really want to fix things? She basically just told you to get over it from the start instead of giving you a sincere apology." "That isn't working on anything. She wants you to get over it so she can pretend that she never said it, so she doesn't have to feel bad about what she did. It doesn't sound like she cares much about how you feel." "She just doesn't want to deal with it. For that reason, I would still have issues with what she said." - Chemical-Ad6809 "If your relationship with your mother is being affected by the actions of your mother, your mother is responsible for fixing it." "You should know you probably aren't ever going to get closure, but you don't have to swallow it down. It helps to be the person you needed when you were younger out loud to yourself, but especially to others." "For example: My name is Liz, and my mom told me to go ahead and do it already and save us all the heartache when I finally had the courage to tell her about how much I've been struggling with self-harm and suicidal ideation. I'm never going to forgive her for that, and we have never been close as a result of her actions." "You aren't holding onto a grudge; you have a core memory of your mother distilling her feelings into a world-shattering sentence." "You did not have a secure attachment before and can't have one now because of the deep trauma. You do not apologize for being stabbed." "Find another therapist. I mean it. Someone who cares about your well-being wouldn't force you to apologize for being verbally abused as a child. I'm 29 now, and I lived through it. I still struggle with suicidal ideation daily, but once I stopped relying on my mom and unstable sources for support, my life got better immediately." "You want things for comfort and familiarity. Don't let your mom or your therapist gaslight you into crossing a boundary." "It might help to ask for a written five-part apology from your mom. 1. Acknowledge what you did 2. Say why it was wrong 3. Promise not to do it again 4. Ask how to make amends. 5. Share your feelings at this time if there's anything you'd like to say." "My mom can be a good person and a bad mom and role model. Being in your own company is so much better than poor company." - PotLuckyPodcast Others hoped the OP would go no contact with her mother sooner rather than later. "NOR. It’s emotional abuse. And you do not owe her closeness after that, especially as she refuses to be accountable for that and try to make it up to you." "She knows you have her number, and she can’t forgive you for knowing what a colloidal b***h she is." "It’s unlikely that will change; it will at least be turned back on you with her the victim." "Stop expecting her to apologize. If she doesn’t pay your bills, ghost her." - SnooCheesecakes2723 "My mom said something similar. My brother and I were adopted, and when I was a teen, in front of a church lady, she said, 'We didn't even really want you, but the people didn't want to split y'all up, so we just took you, too.'" "Me and the church lady were shook. When I say my falbbers were ghasted. Like huh? She didn't remember saying that when I brought it up years after the fact." "I also got grounded two times for two separate nine weeks (for C's on my report card) and a three and a half to four months (for smoking at 16 and getting caught because she liked to just pop up out of nowhere), and we just had a talk about that, and she didn't even remember." "She said, 'No, I didn't. I never grounded you for that long,' and when I gave my rebuttal, she said, 'Well, if I did, it definitely wasn't for no nine weeks or months,' and this started because she was praising me for reading so much and liking books. I said, 'Well, when you were grounded like me, that's all I could do (no TV, no friends outside of school, no music, nothing but my room and books)." "There's a reason I only call or answer her calls once or twice every few weeks. And I only call to get food, really..." - ManicalMoe "‘Fine, I'm sorry’ is not an apology." "Whilst I’m sure it was said in anger, most things said in anger have a grain of truth. There are also some things that no half-decent parent ever says to their children, no matter how angry they are, and this is one of them! It also sounds like she has made repeated similar comments of not wanting you as her child." "I understand her eldest had a disability, but this is no excuse for neglecting and emotionally abusing her younger child. Lots of families deal with a child with additional needs whilst still managing to prioritise their other kids. Children with Down syndrome are capable of understanding ‘that’s your sister's, not yours; give it back’ !! It sounds like your mum has mental health issues?" "Do you have a present father or other family you can turn to?" "Protect your peace. Your mum has hurt you time and time again, honestly, for no real gain other than momentarily satisfying her anger. You owe this woman nothing." - Background_Term9810 "I went through something similar. When I was a little girl, my mother used to make comments that implied she didn't want me, though it was never that explicit. 'I only had you because your brother wanted a sister,' and 'My figure never recovered after you; after your brother, it did.'" "Each comment stayed with me, but I never addressed it with her. I tried to move on and leave it in the past. She did a lot of horrible things throughout my life, but her behavior was always ignored because that's the precedent my dad set, where she can do essentially whatever she wants." "A few months ago, she came to see me because I was desperate for help and sick. Instead of helping, she made my life so much worse. I won't go into details. At one point, I could no longer keep it inside, and I told her that she is a narcissist, to which she responded with, 'It would have been better if I had never had you.'" "In some ways, it felt really good to hear her come out and say it. It felt good to hear the truth I've always known." "I don't know what you should do, but I've chosen to not forgive." "Every time I forgave, I just let her know that she can get away with whatever horrible things she had done. Her apologies were never real apologies. She always found ways to blame me or others for whatever she had done." "And I'm truly just done with it. As sad as it is to not have a mom, it's sadder to pretend that you have one when in reality you don't... quite the opposite, if anything." - Neos_Mom "So, OP, what will hurt more: keeping her and the grudge in your life or making a break and going low or no contact with her?" "Frankly, we've no idea of what she might have been dealing with at the time, but regardless, what she said was said only to cause pain and suffering. 'Sorry' doesn't magic that intent away." "Me, I think spending time alone or with friends or in therapy away from her might be what you need here. You might come to some sort of acceptance, but if this is something that's just going to keep coming between you, then stop trying to have that relationship." - Tal_Tos_72 After the OP received feedback, she shared a few clarifications from her original post. "I wanted to clear some things up, take accountability where it's due, and provide some much-needed context from many people commenting the same questions." "I want to be completely honest. We had many arguments, and I was a rebellious kid. I acted out and argued with my mom." "I don't want to give off the impression that I was an entirely innocent kid who never did anything wrong and my mom just snapped out of nowhere. We both said hateful and hurtful things to each other during our fights." "Growing up, the only way she would accept an apology was if I got on my knees and begged her for forgiveness. If I ever asked her to apologize to me, she would say, 'I have nothing to apologize for; you should be the one begging for my forgiveness.'" The OP had a lot of physical memories, too. "Things also would turn into physical arguments, not just verbal ones." "There were times when she would get so angry she would get physical. Like yanking me by my hair, twisting my arms, or throwing things at me (like remotes, a bug spray can, or a radio)." "When she yanked my hair, I would fight back just to get her to let me go, and she would scream that I was trying to kill her and she would get me arrested. When she twisted my arm, and I begged her to stop because it felt like it was going to break, she would say she hoped it did." "When she threw objects at me, she would say she wished they would hit my face." "I remember in middle school, during an argument, she said she wished she could break my face and that she hated it because I look like my dad. I won’t lie, whenever she said things like that, I would say nasty comments about how she chose to have him put us in her." While the OP wasn't financially ready to move out yet, she hoped to as soon as possible. "Why haven't I moved out yet? The main reason I haven't been able to move out is financial." "I wasn't making enough to support myself without worrying about whether I’d end up having to crawl back home." "Thankfully, I have recently found a better-paying job. My plan is to move out between mid-to-late October, or early November at the latest." "The only reason I can't leave this exact second is because I have a few legal/administrative things to get cleared up so I’m completely untied from my mom, which will take a few weeks." The OP also had proof that her mother liked her sister better. "Has my mom ever admitted to favoring my sister? Yes." "In arguments, she has explicitly told me that she doesn't see me as her legitimate daughter, and that she adored my sister more and forever will. She has also called me a 'monster,' told me there is a certain type of evil inside of me, and said she was afraid I would be just like my dad and try to harm them." "She would even tell me that she was telling family and friends these things about me, but then later claim she 'just said it in the moment' and wouldn't be crazy enough to actually tell people that." "Because I was so confused growing up and didn't know if she was lying or telling the truth, I started avoiding our family when they came over." "Naturally, that just made things worse because she would get mad at me for avoiding them (even now as an adult), completely ignoring the fact that she was the one who lied about what she told them." Unfortunately, the OP didn't have support from her father. "What about my dad? My dad is not in my life." "He was around sporadically, but never as a stable parent. My parents separated before I was born and divorced when I was two or three." "Growing up, it was just constant back-and-forth toxicity, with him telling me how toxic my mother was, and her telling me the same about him." "He would mostly only come over to see my sister, and often used me to care for her if he wanted to take her out to eat. Ultimately, my dad didn't care about anyone else other than my sister (and his drugs)." "I hope this can clear some questions on the original post. I know I didn't provide many details as I originally should have. I honestly didn't want to post something too long, and I honestly did not expect it to be noticed." "Thank you all for taking time to talk to me and share your thoughts." The subReddit fully sided with the OP, pointing out that no matter how heated the moment was, it would never excuse the terrible things the OP's mother had said to her. If the OP's mother really wanted a relationship with her, she'd drop the defensiveness and demands, offer a genuine apology, and work hard to be better for both of her children. That takes a very rare kind of person to pull off, and it didn't sound like the OP's mother had that in her. If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp --- ### Parent Refuses To Change 40th Birthday Trip To Disney To Accommodate Mother-In-Law's Party **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/disney-birthday-conflict-reddit/.md Maintaining relationships with secondary family members may not continue into adulthood. Stepsiblings and half-siblings may not even have a relationship to begin with if they didn't grow up in the same household, there's a big age gap, or lingering resentment over a divorce. A wife and mother turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback over a family matter. Girlihaveatheory asked: "AITA for telling my mother-in-law (MIL) I won’t rearrange my 40th birthday trip for her family event?" The original poster (OP) explained: "I have a big birthday coming up, and all I want to do is take my kids and husband to Disneyland this January. This is for my 40th birthday and the first birthday since my dad passed away." "It's going to be harder because my dad and I always celebrated our birthdays together. I'm on the 9th, and he's on the 3rd." "The issue is, my mother-in-law (MIL) is going to be out of the country for the holidays this year. She wants me to move my schedule around to have this big cousin event so all the kids can get together." "I gave her a couple of options, and neither of them worked for her. To make it harder, it's with cousins that my kids don't really know. My husband and I aren't close to his half-siblings, and we haven't seen them in over 5 years." "Why should I change my travel and birthday plans for people who haven't cared to reach out or spend any time with my family?" "My husband wanted me to coordinate the dates with his mom to get me involved. Normally, she coordinates everything with him, and I kind of just go along. He's 100% behind me on this. Since I'm making the plans and dates, he wanted me to communicate that with her." "She's trying to take advantage of us being in the area. The cousins live near Disneyland. We live further away and rarely go down. We haven't been in the area since before Covid." "So, I'm frustrated with this situation because she knows I've planned this, but wants all the cousins to get together since we're already in the area. I gave suggestions to get the kids to meet up in downtown Disney, but she didn't want to do it." "I finally told her and my husband that this is not the right time or vacation for us to visit with them. Could I have communicated that better? Probably." "My husband stands by me. It's hard because his mom is putting him in the middle of all this." "It's stressful enough during that time because I won't be celebrating with my dad. The last thing I want to do is rush through the parks to make time for people who can't make time for me." "Like I mentioned earlier, why am I going to meet up with people that haven't been in my life or my kids' lives for over 5 years? Especially when this is such a huge birthday, and the first one without my dad." "She's now mad at me and not talking to me about this." Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "You shouldn’t rearrange anything. ‘That’s not going to work for us’ is the end of it." ~ AssistantOk1481 "And you don't live for her approval and her plans, OP. This trip was about your birthday, spending time with your nuclear family and remembrance for your father. It was not whatever she's trying to turn it into." "If you tried to accommodate them within your plans, but it didn't work out, then that's fine. If it's so important for her for this meeting to happen, then she should schedule it for next year with plenty of advanced notice, not around your birthday, and before you already make plans." "Her not speaking to you shouldn't even be a thing you think about. You never were planning to get together with these people. You were going there for something altogether different and to be honest? Her insisting on horning in on those plans is rude and inconsiderate." "Do your own thing, NTA. She got mad and eventually, she'll get glad." ~ moew4974 "I'm sure she'll be back in touch when she wants something." ~ aloudcitybus "Enjoy the silence. Let your husband deal with his mother. 'That won't work for us and you refused every alternative offered'." ~ Equal-Jicama-5989 "You dont really know that side of the family, just go do your own thing." ~ No_Communication1557 "That's another good reason that I was thinking about when I was reading OP's post. When my dad married my mom, he had been divorced, so my mom was his second wife, and I didn't know until I was a teen that I had an older 1/2 brother and sister." "First of all, that answered why we didn't attend all of the family events I would hear about. Second, as we got older, because we ended up moving 35 miles away from the city where I was born, I was hardly seeing anybody anyway." "So, as an adult, my parents would still ask my brother and me to attend different family events, and I would politely decline when I knew that I wasn't going to know anybody well enough to come out." "I know some might say that it's an opportunity to reconnect but when you don't have a strong foundation from earlier in life, and you feel like you're not really going to be missed anyway, I felt fine doing my own thing." ~ TallTinTX "You don't owe them anything, and your husband should be taking the lead on this one. Your husband needs to tell his mother, 'Sorry, we can't make it on those days, ' and stick to it. NTA." ~ wesmorgan1 "NTA. You should tell her that if it's important enough to ask you to rearrange your plans, it should be important enough for her to rearrange hers." ~ Adept-One-819 "NTA - MIL is putting out an invitation. You can decline it." "If you want to be sassy, say 'it's been five years, another half decade isn't going to make much of difference' or alternatively 'This trip is very important to us, and has been in our schedule for a long time. It's my milestone birthday and the first time I haven't celebrated my father's birthday. This is far more important to us than meeting cousins who we've not seen for five years'." "MIL is out of the country for the festivities, so she's prioritized her needs over spending time with her grandchildren. So pot and kettle should be introduced." ~ Jonathan-Welford "Excellent point. MiL prioritized her holiday trip away from family and has subsequently asked everyone else to rearrange their travel plans because of it." "She should be gracious in understanding that someone else may already have scheduled conflicting travel plans, because they chose to spend the holidays with family. NTA." ~ Holden3DStudio "No, this is already planned, and just make it non-negotiable. NTA. She is very comfortable asking you to work around her schedule and you should be just as comfortable letting her know yours. Practice saying 'we will be away at that time'." ~ alicat777777 "NTA - you’re an adult, MIL is an adult, you’re both responsible for your own lives and schedules, not for each other’s. Whilst it’s reasonable enough for her to ask a family member to move things around on her behalf, it’s not reasonable for her to expect it to be granted." "Your reasons for declining in terms of the event itself are also completely valid, but to be honest you don’t even need those - it’s not your job to make her plans work and that’s all that really matters." ~ BanterPhobic "So the dates that work for you don’t work for her? Tell her to cancel her holiday plans. If it’s ridiculous for you to expect that of her, then the same can be said for her expectations of you. NTA." ~ Yaaauw "It’s very simple: 'Sorry, we have booked a trip months ago and can’t move anything, totally understand if you want to host this without us, or here are dates we could do'." "Then just nothing to discuss further. You have plans, they aren’t simple plans, and it’s what you’d prefer to do." ~ mfruitfly OP provided a synopsis of where things stand. "Right now, my MiL isn't talking to me and is upset. After she told me the options I gave her didn't work, I told her part of me had a hard time with this because we haven't seen my husband's half-sisters in over 5 years." "They didn't reach out when I got married, had my son, my dad got sick and passed away, and had my daughter. My dad passed away 2 weeks before I had my daughter. So, this birthday trip was something that was really special for me this year." "My husband wanted me to coordinate with her because she normally leaves me out of plans for our family. This is a woman who planned my husband's 35th birthday party at her house 2 hours away, during the week when I had work and couldn't be there." "Not to mention I was pregnant, and it was our first birthday celebrating as a married couple. So, he wanted me to coordinate my plans with her because she wanted to get the cousins together." The mother-in-law's invitation isn't a summons. OP has given her answer. If MIL can't accept it, that's her problem. --- ### Woman Asks If It's Wrong To Cancel 'Abusive' Ex-Girlfriend's Flight She Booked Under Her Airline Account **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/ex-used-account-reddit/.md Most people know about cyber security with strangers and in the workplace. But they might forget about protecting their online identity during longterm romantic relationships. A good rule after ending a relationship is to change all passwords and any other information that was once shared, like credit card numbers and bank accounts. A woman who found out about post-breakup cyber security firsthand turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback. Right-Welcome-9899 asked: "AITA if I cancel a flight my ex booked under my United Airlines account?" The original poster (OP) explained: "My ex (26, female) logged into my (26, female) United Airlines account and booked a flight… the flight is in 2 days should I cancel it?" "Any other way she could’ve booked the flight. It’s under her name and receipt sent to her email… she logged into my account. "My now girlfriend (31, female) of 4 months is insisting I cancel it. My ex terrorized me a few times in the last few months, so I think my girlfriend is fed up with the random stuff." "Ex has stalked me for months now! She was very toxic and abusive." "Let me make this clear. My ex was never logged in on her phone, that had never happened. She had my mileage # and knows a commonly used password." "I understand I should change all passwords regularly. That was my fault. On the app it says my name BOLDLY at the top. So I don't know how this was a mistake." "Ex has sent unsolicited packages to my place, texted me on countless new numbers for months now." "I understand canceling will bring unwanted attention. It’s just frustrating it’s been a year and it’s something new every month." Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP would not be the a**hole, but might want to consider if it's worth the blowback. "NTA for wanting to protect your account, but I wouldn’t cancel the flight without thinking through the consequences. Since the ticket is in her name and was sent to her email, the bigger issue is that she accessed your account without permission." "Change your password, sign out other devices, and contact United to explain the situation. You don’t need to keep giving your ex access just to avoid conflict." ~ Chemical_Hospital348 "Exactly,that would be a very satisfying little bit of revenge. But if she’s already logging into his account, I’d honestly focus more on locking everything down than given her another reason to come back." ~ myrvantis "I’d like to make a counter offer…. What if you were to only cancel the 'return'? I mean, what better way to get rid of someone you’ve accused of stalking you." ~ Honeyhwhite "Just change your password and ignore that she has booked a flight if you think it is a ploy to get you to contact her. She'd no longer have access once the password is changed." "It could have just automatic logged her in because she had used the account before and it was saved. One of the reasons not to just have your account saved where it auto fills information for you." "Also why you should regularly change your passwords." ~ CallingThatBS "Normally ignoring a stalker is the best route, but giving her free access to OP's airline account is risky. If it's linked to OP's saved payments, miles, or personal info, leaving that booking active lets her stay connected to OP's life. Canceling it shuts that door down completely." ~ Tanmijelky "It’s totally weird, but by cancelling or impacting their travel, you’re going to deal with your ex more than if you do nothing. Again, protect your account, change your passwords, and build the boundaries you need to." "So reading other comments, booking the flight isn’t the issue, it’s the ability to contact or maintain a relationship with you, which you don’t want to have." "Sounds like you already changed your password, they paid for the flight, and it’s under their name, essentially meaning, this won’t impact you directly moving forward." "I think cancelling the flight would just create drama. Make sure they can’t access your account from here on out and don’t engage further." ~ InformationLeast5607 "If she’s truly stalking you, cancelling the flight it the wrong play. Stalkers want attention and to create drama. Canceling the flight gives her both plus a reason (in her mind) to call you and ask if you canceled it." "Your best course of action is to not react. Don’t play into the drama." "I get the frustration- I’ve been stalked and it’s exhausting. Because she used your own account to do this, and if she’s done anything else online to stalk or harass you, you can file an IC3 form with the FBI to document cyber stalking without going all the way to restraining order (as they can be hard to get.)" ~ ms_sinn "Hey, if no one has mentioned it yet, you should read the book 'The Gift of Fear'. It includes good advice about stalkers and you are right to take the situation seriously. As in, changing all of your passwords to anything that hasn’t been changed since she started stalking you and not responding to her goading with giving her attention." "I hope you can get free of this someday and you have my sympathy here. The National Domestic Violence hotline could be helpful too: thehotline.org." ~ Whatnot1785 "How long ago was the flight booked? Even if they had the receipt and flight details sent to their email, I dont know any airline program or any other account that would not send you some kind of notification that a flight was booked." "There seems to be a lot of drama going on around you, your current gf telling you not to contact the ex to ask about this like an adult, if this ex was so toxic and doing so many crazy things why didn't you change the password to the account?" "Are there actually issues going on, is your current girlfriend jealous, insecure? Are YOU the drama here?" "There's more going on than youre telling and if this is an actual trip happening in two days, then yes you could cancel, but yes, you might also be the a**hole if they paid for the flight and aren't using your points. There are missing facts." ~ Calealen80 "I'd ignore it and change my login. Don't give her any more reasons to terrorize you. It probably wasn't, but maybe it was an accident. Change your user name/password and move on." "I don't think you can cancel a flight booked in someone else's name without their info... Such as a confirmation number, their email address, and last name." "But honestly, what's cancelling the flight going to do?? She paid for it.... The way I see it, changing the login info and blocking her is the best thing you can do. NTA." ~ SigSauerPower320 "If your ex has done everything you say, you should be able to get an order of protection. As far as your new girlfriend goes, you've been together 4 months. She doesn't sound very balanced either. She's starting to show her true self." "Go through all your accounts and change your username if you're able but for sure change your password. On ANY AND ALL accounts. If you're like a kid of people, you use the same login for multiple accounts." ~ stefaniki "My airline login information auto populates from saved info on my phone. If she used to use your login when you were a couple, it may have been an accident." "But even if for some wild reason it was on purpose, now that you e changed your password, there's nothing more you need to do. Since she paid for it, YWBTA if you cancelled it." "But more than that, you'd be inviting drama when you're just wanting to move on. Don't contact your ex. Don't cancel the ticket. Change any other passwords you may have shared with your ex and move on." ~ Craft_Minute "Did she use your mileage points? If not, you're gaining some extra points from her flight. Change your passwords and call it a day. Canceling it would only invite more drama. Also, your current gf sounds immature. ~ WHOA_____ "NTA. You've changed the password now. Has the ex used any of your points? If not, I wouldn't worry about it. Don't invite contact with someone trying to get your time and attention." ~ Difficult-Bicycle119 "You implied that she was terrorizing you and made her sound like a whack job. She did not steal any points from you to book a ticket? She used your account to buy a ticket with her own money? So then what's the point of canceling if you want to avoid contact with her?" ~ tickynicky OP provided a brief update: "I won’t cancel the flight. Passwords to all emails, several accounts including the United Airlines changed and 2 factor turned on." "Thank you to everyone who responded." OP decided ignoring her ex and tightening her accounts and passwords was the best choice. Sometimes not engaging with someone is the best course of action. --- ### Parent Of Two Called 'Unreasonable' For Not Wanting To Attend In-Laws' Child-Free Wedding To Make A Point **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/childfree-wedding-logistics-reddit/.md More and more couples have opted for childfree weddings. But that decision must come with the understanding that parents may choose not to attend. A parent who would prefer not to attend a childfree wedding a long way from home turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit for feedback. ThrowRA_bunny5142 asked: "AITA for not wanting to go to a childfree wedding?" The original poster (OP) explained: "My husband's cousin is getting married this year and is having a child-free wedding. We have two kids under 4. I don't want to go for a variety of reasons." "We are covering the travel costs of his parents and the four of us already. Including flights ($3,000 one way), car $300, hotel $500, food, and sitter care for a 2-day wedding is north of $600. This is for a 4 day trip." "I don't think I could afford to pay my babysitter for 4 days of work along with another plane ticket and a separate room." "I don't feel comfortable leaving my kids with an unknown nanny, even vetted by an agency. The reviews are hit and miss, and I don't have or know anyone in that city. If anything happened to them because of a party, I would regret this forever. When we've previously had similar situations, sitters were vetted by friends in those towns." "The venue is in the middle of nowhere. The nearest hotel is over a 30-minute drive away. There's nowhere closer to put the kids." "Culturally, it's unheard of to not have kids at a wedding. Enough that it didn't even occur to him that it was childfree until I had him ask his family." "It's a pain in the a** to drag two kids on a three-hour+ flight and another one-hour drive each way so they can marinate in a room. It's a multi-day wedding at 6+ hours per day. And much of it is just sitting on a chair watching ceremonial stuff." "I offered to stay home alone with the kids, daycare, and my army of sitters. I offered to stay at the hotel for the duration of the wedding and the three of them could go. It's led to multiple huge fights where he accuses of me being unreasonable." "I think it's cultural because it reflects poorly on him if I stay home." "I think they are entitled to whatever wedding they want. What they aren't entitled to is requiring me to attend. I feel like I've given every reasonable option and he is refusing to budge." "I ran this through a few friends and he thinks they're biased, so I posted here for an unbiased opinion." "Background. Some of it is because he and his parents feel indebted to that side of the family for all their help early in his career. His parents aren't happy about it, but haven't pushed the issue. He is otherwise a great father and usually very reasonable." "His parents live with us and help watch the kids. They're lovely, and we are glad to cover their trip. My side of the family lives in another country." Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA). "Husband can go with his parents. Why is your presence critical? It’s not." ~ Mcbriec "We are doing this, literally today. I'm going to the wedding of a family friend with my parents. My husband is staying home to look after our kids. It's only 30 mins away, and I'll be home by midnight." ~ SnackyandSnarky "Agreed. I left my husband and child at home with my MIL to attend my sister’s wedding. Would it have been nice if my husband had come? Sure - but he couldn’t get the time off work. I wanted to focus on my sister rather than wrangle my 3-year-old, who couldn’t handle crowds.I don’t see why the husband is being so difficult here." ~ No-Lifeguard9194 "You sound very reasonable, as someone else said it's an invitation, not a summons." ~ PrincessMo "Exactly. I think people are putting too much blame on the couple when OP’s husband is the one refusing to accept that this just doesn’t work for her. They’re allowed to have a child-free wedding, and she’s allowed to not attend." "The wedding couple set their boundary, OP set hers, and that should honestly be the end of it. It’s the husband who seems unable to accept that her no is valid." ~ myrvantis "And it's a cousin. OP's family needs to take a chill pill." ~ crabbywarrior "NTA. They chose to be child-free. You have children. I'm curious why you'd be covering parents' airfare, but, yeah... stay home that week." ~ Substantial_Slide_54 "Right? OP isn't trash-talking the other couple just because they prefer a childfree wedding AND recognizes the value of family childcare, so wants to show appreciation? OP seems really reasonable about parenting, and I love it." ~ thoughtandprayer "NTA/YWNBTA. You're looking at approx $7,500. If I did the maths correctly. I assumed that the $3k one-way tickets are for both of you, so $6k return all up?" "That's a lot of money to spend on one weekend to celebrate other people, with the inconvenience and stress of whatever you'd end up doing with the kiddos." ~ nahlaskidoo "It’s interesting he’s reacting that way. It’s not like you’re saying that he can’t go either. Your suggestion of staying home or even close in a hotel is very reasonable in my opinion. ~ jstine_4 "A wedding invitation is just that - an invitation. Not a command." ~ neverenoughpurple "NTA, your husband is being pig-headed, and there is absolutely no need for you to go. Your in-laws and husband can go without you and you can save some money, sound like a win-win." ~ Mean-Confidence3477 "Agreed. Him and parents going and you staying home with kids is win-win. Couple gets child-free wedding. Him and parents get to honor cousins. And your kids don’t have to suffer traveling." ~ Low_Cook_5235 "You offered completely reasonable alternatives for the children, so absolutely NTA. It's absolutely ridiculous to drag your children through travel and then leave them with a babysitter you've only met once. I don't even understand your spouse's reasoning here." "If he and his parents want to go, fine. You don't feel that obligation, also fine. Prioritizing your children makes complete sense here. Do what you gotta do and if he chooses to be mad about it, he's only going to ruin his own wedding experience, so that's on him." ~ small-black-cat-290 "Both of my parents used to travel together for work when I was a kid, and we were often taken along and left with unknown babysitters in whatever city we happened to be in. They would arrange it with the hotel concierge and poof, a random teenager (sometimes didn’t even speak the same language as us) would appear." "I remember just hanging out in the hotel room with my sister for large parts of those trips. Italy! Ireland! France! Germany! Technically I’ve been there, but definitely doesn’t count because I only saw airports and hotel rooms.". "Anyway, it was the 90s and nothing bad happened to us except getting super good at pilfering minibars without getting caught—the alternative was to stay home with a very strict grumpy grandma, so we preferred being bored to being scolded." "But OP doesn’t have to put her little children or herself through this. So I say huzzah to her for coming to Reddit for validation; she’s in the right here!" ~ _kismitten "NTA. I wouldn’t want to leave my kids with strangers either. I wouldn’t budge. Their welfare is more important than your attendance." ~ Dapper_Ad_1691 "I agree. I'd never leave my kid with a stranger. The whole trip sounds horrid. I hope she lets her husband be mad and stays home. He'll get over it eventually. ~ imbex "NTA, nope, I would not be going either; that’s just too much. I wouldn’t care if he was refusing to budge; the answer would be I’m staying home, and you can go. ~ Square_Owl5883 "NTA—the trade-off for having a child-free wedding means that there will be family members unable to attend. Send a gift and regrets and the in-laws can deal with it." ~ prosperosniece "This is very true, and I'm sure they even expect that of some invites sent, but then also some families will find care to have a kid-free night as well. But opting out and just sending a gift and regrets is plenty and reasonable." "No one is wrong or being unreasonable in this situation in my opinion. They just don't agree, so they have to agree to disagree and go from there." ~ Affectionate-Tap-588 "NTA. The a**hole here is your husband, given this has led to multiple huge fights, with him dismissing your opinions and those of other people who disagree. Perhaps it's time to reconsider a relationship where you and the kids are a higher priority than appearances to others." ~ ginisninja OP has made valid, reasonable points about their unwillingness to attend this wedding. Their husband can either accept their response or be upset, but they can't force OP to go against her will. --- ### Redditor Asks If It's Wrong To Skip Sister's 'Inconvenient' Destination Wedding Due To 14-Hour Flight **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/inconvenient-destination-wedding-reddit/.md Destination weddings are a beautiful concept but difficult to plan, and sometimes even more difficult to plan for attendees, who often have to figure out room and board, plus other details and costs in order to go. What a bride and groom have to understand is that, by having a destination wedding, they're guaranteeing that some of their guests simply will not be able to go, even if they're an important person in their life, pointed out the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITAH) subReddit. Redditor Excellent-Still4760 was excited for their sister to get married, but they were not at all enthused about it being a complicated destination wedding that would require a lengthy, expensive flight, plus time off work. When their family realized they were considering not going and were disappointed, the Original Poster (OP) wondered how wrong it would be not to go. They asked the sub: "Am I the a**hole for declining to go to my sister's destination wedding?" The OP's sister planned an expensive, long-distance destination wedding. "My sister chose a destination wedding in a location that’s inconvenient, about 14 hours by plane for me to get there." "It would run a few thousand dollars to make it happen, and while the money isn’t a big problem, I just don’t want to make the trek and sit in an economy seat to show face at this wedding." The OP's family didn't appreciate that they might not attend. "Lots of my family are going, however, and they’re pretty upset that I’ve indicated I don’t want to go." "For what it's worth, I have a busy job, and taking time off is a pain in the a**, so while I feel a bit bad, I also think a domestic wedding makes more sense if you’re sensitive as to who turns up?" "Happy to be wrong. Just looking for another perspective." "AITAH?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NTA: Not the A**hole YTA: You're the A**hole ESH: Everybody Sucks Here NAH: No A**holes Here Some pointed out that destination weddings statistically had much lower positive RSVPs. "Destination weddings can be a hassle; usually, people who do that don’t expect most to come." - ncjr591 "I scheduled and planned my wedding around the people who I absolutely didn't want to miss it. So that meant I didn't have the exact wedding venue and timing that I wanted, but I got the wedding I wanted because my family was all able to be there." "What's more important to OP's sibling? To have them there or to have the wedding in a cool spot?" - swd12422 "If you don't take into account whether the people you most want there can reasonably make it there, then they may not. It comes down to whether the venue or the people are what matters most." - readergirl35 "I did not attend my sibling's destination wedding despite my mom whining about it for months. NOR." - SpicyPom86 "My sister-in-law didn't attend her own daughter's destination wedding. She didn't want to spend a week at a resort with her ex-husband and his mom. The week was so bad with the ex-MIL that the ex-husband's second wife left him because of his mom at the wedding." "My sister-in-law was wise to not go and be in that mess. I do wonder if her daughter chose the destination hoping that grandma wouldn't make it to the wedding." - BlazingSunflowerland "My cousin got married on the Amalfi Coast in Italy. We are all from New York; she got married in June just as the school year was ending. I’m a teacher, and my sister is a teacher, and we could not attend because it was the end of the school year." "The bride’s sister has children, and she cannot attend because of the end of the school year. My cousins didn’t care; she was annoyed that we weren’t there, but as she told my uncle, this is my wedding, and I will do what I want." "I could tell you I think I’ve spoken to her twice since then." - ncjr591 "A sibling shouldn’t feel obligated to go because of cost and time off from work/life, whatever. If her sister really wanted her there, she could have offered to help with cost, as that’s the biggest reason." "My best friend's child is having a destination wedding and is child-free. Their only sibling is married and has a toddler and a newborn. They told sister and my best friend that they wouldn’t be able to afford it (their children were explicitly invited)." "The cost of four flying internationally and then the cost per person per night at the all-inclusive was more than they could afford. My friend was figuring out if she could help pay. Child’s partner stepped up and is paying for their per-person room rate, and friend is paying for the airfare." "If you choose a destination, you have to be ready for anyone you invite to decline." - WhichWitch9402 "You’re just as married here, there, or anywhere. Stop imposing on people. Have your honeymoon in the cool spot. NOR." - Consistent-Fix-8443 "I never had a wedding or wanted to be a bride as a little girl, even though I’ve been in a happy relationship for years. So I never understood the demand that people must attend their wedding or be shamed or bullied if they don’t. Maybe someone can explain it to me." - Malibucat48 "So people didn't come was the entire point of my destination wedding. We had too many cooks in the kitchen, and everyone had an opinion on where it should be, what for should be served, etc., etc., but we were playing for it." "We actually had some frank members tell us if they want an open bar, they weren't coming. So we decided to get married somewhere no one would want to go to our could afford, and it was perfect just us and the officiant." - badpuppeh76 Others cautioned that this might cause problems with the family, just in case that mattered to the OP. "I don't know that a sibling falls neatly into the category of not attending destination weddings just because it's a destination wedding. It’s less open and shut than it would be if this were a friend or extended family." "Not saying OP should go, just that there’s going to be fallout if they don’t." - Adventurous_Ad_6546 "It really depends. I have family who planned a destination wedding knowing the mother of the bride was in the middle of a citizenship issue that made her completely unable to obtain a passport, and that the bride's only sibling couldn't attend." "Maybe that was an outlier though, not sure." - babyelephantwalk321 "You’re not necessarily an AH, but you are telling your family something, and they will listen." - One-Passion5107 "'I just don’t want to make the trek and sit in an economy seat to show face at this wedding.'" "Something tells me the excuses of time-off and travel time are not the reason they’re declining the invitation." - Consistent_Rent_3507 "NAH. This is the trade-off of having a destination wedding. She and your family are allowed to be disappointed that you won’t be there; you’re allowed to not spend thousands of dollars to go to a party." - Megpyre "NOR, but. Like, isn't it at least a cool vacation spot you could enjoy for a couple of days? It sounds like you could use a vacation." "Plus, why are you just there to 'show face'? Won't you enjoy seeing your sister get married?" - Available_Writer4144 "NOR, but if OP cares so little about seeing their sibling get married (which is their prerogative!), then they realistically don’t or shouldn’t care about what a few relatives say about it, knowwhatimean?" - shyfidelity "If you are not super close, don’t go and don’t guilt yourself… even if some family have feelings about it now, they will get over them. Just don’t give the reasons you posted." "I would just say, 'I can’t make it because of work,' and leave it at that. No more is needed." - Relevant_Dentist7694 "I lost my best friend over it. We were 20 years old, and I wasn't financially ready enough at that age to drop a couple thousand dollars and take time off of my minimum wage job. I was a poor college kid at the time." - CityNo5770 "NAH. Family is complicated. That’s a long flight and a lot of logistics to plan for, especially for someone you rarely see in the first place." "Your sister knows that it can be a lot to show up for an international wedding, but I’d let her know softly and maybe splurge a bit on a gift for 'old times sake,' or see if you can do something for her, like a recorded speech/ handwritten letter." "She will still be hurt, and that’s okay even if you didn’t do it intentionally." "You’ll get pushback from family, but many people can’t do a 14-hour flight even if you were close (medical, financial, other personal details). They can have an opinion, but maintain consistency in yours." - Illustrious-Spite536 The subreddit understood that destination weddings are complicated to plan and expensive to attend, even for an immediate family member, so they could understand the OP not necessarily wanting to go. Even if the family didn't want to understand, they had to admit that destination weddings automatically exclude some attendees who might like to go but cannot because of budgets and other commitments. Even if they wanted to guilt the OP, they might have to admit that the OP was one of the people the destination wedding omitted. --- ### Teen Hurt After Dad And 'Disrespectful' Fiancée Purposely Exclude Him From Vegas Wedding **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** McKenzie Tozan | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/teen-excluded-vegas-wedding-reddit/.md It's wonderful to imagine two families coming together and everyone caring for each other, no fake feelings or ulterior motives involved. But life is life, and sometimes coming together is much more complicated than we'd like it to be, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit. While he was glad that his father was happy after being single for a long time, teen Redditor burnt-leafeonmeow couldn't help but feel left out by his dad now that he was dating his openly disrespectful fiancée. But when the couple went so far as to get married in Vegas and completely excluded the teen from their plan while inviting their stepsister, the Original Poster (OP) questioned how much they'd be in their dad's life now that he was with someone who obviously didn't like him. He asked the sub: "Am I overreacting for being upset that my dad and his wife didn't invite me to their wedding?" The OP was happy for his dad at first when he finally met someone new. "My dad (53 Male) and his new wife (54 Female) started dating on New Year's Day 2024. My dad hadn't dated anyone in over six years until he met her." "Around March of 2024, she asked me (17 Male) if she had permission to marry my dad." "I said yes, not expecting how soon they were thinking. I saw my dad was happy, and I felt that was all that really mattered." "He proposed on Christmas just this last year. I've noticed that since they have started dating, his wife has been very persistent about a wedding. Apparently she had remarried six times before this marriage. I had no idea when she asked to marry." The couple openly excluded the OP from their wedding plans. "Since December, they would openly talk about their plans for who was going. They told me that it was going to be a small wedding, including his wife's adult daughter and her husband, my dad's two friends from high school, and his youngest brother." "I asked if I was invited, and they said I couldn't go because they were just gonna go to the courthouse to sign documents and then go to a concert in Vegas, and that was it." " I was still very persistent about going because this is a lifetime experience, and I wanted to be there for his big moment. I also really like Godsmack and wanted to go, LOL." The couple made the situation even worse by lying to the OP about their precise plans. "They got married on the 11th this month. They lied about all their plans to me." "I called my dad the day of his wedding, and he was in an expensive limo, supposed to be on the way to their wedding to sign documents? Nope! They went to the Grand Gothic at the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel." "It was beautiful, and I was never told about this. I feel so hurt, but so petty and invasive for wanting to be there." The OP never felt welcome, but the wedding confirmed his feelings. "But anyways, his wife has always been disrespectful towards me. She won me over in the beginning, but when I started to get sick, she turned on me. I have a chronic illness that causes me to struggle with lots of things." "She is a nurse and openly tells me that I am faking what I have and that it's not real." "She also talks badly to my face about my mother and degrades her." "My dad has done nothing to stop this behavior towards me." "My only real conclusion on why I wasn't invited is because of my existence. I am a reminder of my dad's ex-wife, and that is why I am not welcomed. I was never told this to my face, but it has been my only thought since their marriage." The OP tried to talk to his dad about everything, but it solved nothing. "I have tried to communicate how I feel with my dad one-on-one. I've brought it up several times since December that I feel really hurt and unwanted due to this; he tells me it's not that big of a deal." "I also have been living with my mom primarily since 2012. I see my dad on weekends. I think that will be less soon." "In another phone call, I called my dad and said I was upset over not getting invited. I said how I was unhappy with how he lied to me about the plans." "He told me he never lied to me and that I am making things up. 'Why would I buy a suit to just go to a concert?' he said." "He also stated that there were no kids there and 'I wouldn't have enjoyed it,' and then his wife made a snarky remark about how there was a lot of walking, and I couldn't handle it." "AIO?" Fellow Redditors weighed in: NOR: Not Overreacting YOR: You're Overreacting Some understood why the OP was upset and sympathized with him. "NOR. I understand why you are hurt. I would be too, especially since your stepmother's daughter was invited." "Has she really been married seven times? Incredible! Hopefully that means you won't have to know her for long." - Terrible_Reaction395 "NOR. Being lied to about your own dad’s wedding while his stepdaughter got invited would hurt anyone." "And seven marriages is definitely a lot of plot development." - Minimum-Cow-9106 "NOR, god, a nurse telling you your chronic illness is fake and making a comment about how much walking you could handle, with your dad sitting there saying nothing." "That's the pattern; the wedding is just the clearest example of it." "You're 17, you live with your mum, and you get to decide how much of this you keep showing up for, to be honest..." - COTTONmarker "Does dad not want a relationship with you? Maybe one day he will wake up and realize how crappy his behavior was." "I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I hope you have a great relationship with your mom." - Scary-Rub5371 "NOR. The six prior marriages is a huge red flag. I would try to talk to your dad alone. Tell him how hurt you were, and you would appreciate it if the new wife would not speak of your mom." "Maybe he doesn't know what is happening. No matter what, you should have been there and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." - jonzluv2013 "So, your dad and the new wife are a**holes. I'm guessing because you aren't of age and have health issues, they thought you'd cramp their style on the trip, which is selfish as h**l." "I hate to say it, but I don't think it's going to change. If your dad is not only condoning but participating in this crap, then he's causing up in the new at the expense of the old." "Do what you need to do to preserve your peace. That may mean going low or no contact with them, depending on your living situation." "Also, if at all possible, please consider getting therapy to help you navigate this. Good luck. NOR." - Aggravating_Cat_6295 "NOR. Dad’s gonna be begging for forgiveness when she dumps him in three years, too, just like the others." - fabulousfantabulist "NOR. Have a one-on-one discussion with your father. Let him know the hurt he caused. Then leave it at that. Play the long game. Get him to pay for your college education. Have him set up a trust in your name that he can put four years' worth of tuition in." "This can be explained as: he doesn’t have to worry about any increased fees, etc." "Once you graduate from university, don’t invite him to the ceremony. Cut ties. When you get married, don’t invite him. When you have kids, don’t let him know or allow him to develop a relationship with them. Essentially, turn him into someone you don’t even know." "When he gets divorced, pretty much in a couple of years based on his wife’s track record, tell him that it is not your problem. He cut you out of his life, so you have no feeling towards his issue." - sog96 A few shared similar experiences they'd had when their parents remarried. "My father-in-law fell for a lady that had four previous marriages. She took complete control of his life. Isolated him from his kids. Made him sell his house and ranch, then buy a new house and a new ranch with her name on the deeds." "Used him up, and when the time was right, she filed for divorce and took him for half of everything. It absolutely crushed him." "She also seduced him when my mother-in-law was battling brain cancer. That’s a whole other thing, and honestly, I felt like him getting f**ked over was recompense for leaving my mother-in-law while she was still fighting for her life." "I mean, seven marriages is insane. The pattern is there, OP. Help your dad see the red flags." - RegularMaximum3570 "I have been in your position. When my Dad got married the first time, his wife INSISTED that I was part of the wedding, and I was. I was about six years old, and my stepsister and I (and several other women) were bridesmaids and a big part of the ceremony. Then they split up." "The next wife was not a fan of me. I wasn't really a fan of her, either, but I was young, so I was nice and respectful to her for many years. I knew they were engaged, but I never heard any of the wedding plans." "One day I got a card in the mail. It was a picture of my Dad, his new wife in a wedding dress, and the new wife's daughter. They were all on a cruise ship. So not only was I not invited, but she had the audacity to send me a wedding picture after they got married. I didn't care that much because I wasn't a fan, but my Mom was P**SED!" "Around this same time, the new wife sent me a letter telling me that everything I've experienced as a child with my Father (he's an alcoholic and was really awful to me for many, many years; we are no contact now) was a lie. He never drank in front of me; he never didn't pick me up for my six weeks of time with him during the summer (it was the best summer of my life; I got to spend almost the whole thing at my Aunt and uncle's with my cousin!). It was quite the letter." "Also, I don't think she finished high school because the writing was atrocious! She kept talking about pictures but spelled it pitchers, and I was very, very confused. I finally corrected all of the incorrect spelling and grammar and sent it back to her. At that point, my Dad finally read it and got real mad." "I think you're NOR. I would be p**sed and hurt too (and I was) if I were you." "I would try to chat with your Dad one-on-one and let him know your feelings on the subject. It won't change anything, but talking it out might make things a little better. My Dad and I didn't have much of a relationship, so I never bothered, but I think if we did, I definitely would have talked to him one-on-one. I'm sorry they hurt you like this." - Nice_Distance_5433 The subReddit completely understood why the OP was upset and were angry on his behalf. Based on the new wife's track record, the OP's dad likely would not be in this new marriage for long, but since he'd kept the OP out of his life during what should have been an incredibly pivotal time, there was little reason for the OP to involve him in his. --- ### Woman Berated For Lying To Dad About When Sister's Surprise Party Started So He Wouldn't Be Late **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** Amelia Mavis Christnot | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/lie-tardy-father-reddit/.md Chronic tardiness can be a problem for more than just the person who's always late. Why a person is late can be the result of a number of factors. But they're reasons, not excuses. A daughter turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback afted tricking her perpetually late father into showing up on time. Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared. Black_cat_energy_83 asked: "AITAH for telling my dad the wrong time?" The original poster (OP) explained: "My sister's husband (34, male) wanted to throw my sister (40, female) a surprise 40th birthday party and he rented a hall for it. I (42, female) was put in charge of a few things like gift bags to keep the children busy and dealing with my dad (60)." "It's been a running joke my entire life that my dad is always notoriously late for everything. He was late to both mine and my sister's weddings." "He's the youngest of 8 and always got a free pass. His lateness has been a joke for my entire life. He never really explained his side of it, but never really cared that he was always late." "The surprise for my sister's birthday was on a tight schedule." "People had to park in the lot in the back and she was under the impression that it was a party for my cousin's husband's birthday. I even faked my location with her so she would see that I was at work and not going to the party." "The only weak link was my dad." "I've seen the gag so many times about giving a fake time. I don't claim that this was my bright idea on its own. Thing is, we've never tried it on my dad before, so this looked like the perfect time to try it out." "Surprise was at 5pm. I told him it was at 430." "He called me at 435 to help him find the right parking lot. I met him outside and he asked if my sister was there yet because he was late." "I told him no, she's coming for 5. He looked at me funny and said you told me 430. I told him I only told him that to make sure he was there before 5." "He parked and everything worked out perfectly. My sister had a great party. My dad was acting just fine until after. He told me that I was rude and embarrassed him." "So am I the a**hole?" "Everyone was told arrive for 430 and surprise was at 5. I told my dad to arrive at 4 and surprise was at 430. He still arrived after everyone else." "I'm not going to lie, I felt amazing that I was actually able to get him to show up to something on time and vindicated when he was still actually late to the time I told him. It wasn't until afterwards with his reaction that it took some wind out of my sails." Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms: NTA - Not The A**hole YTA - You're The A**hole NAH - No A**holes Here ESH - Everyone Sucks Here INFO - more information needed Redditors decided the OP was "He proved exactly why you had to tell him 4:30. If that had been the time, he would have either possibly ruined the surprise or arrived after the surprise. NTA. If he was embarrassed, well, he should have been. Maybe he can learn how to read a clock." ~ sweets4n6 "My mother is like this. I did the fake time thing for my mother for 20 yrs. She found out 5 yrs ago and got all mad. When she asked me why, I said that she didn't need to be the center of attention all the time and that's what she does when she's late by 30 minutes. "She tried going around me and asking other people what the 'real time' would be, but I've now gotten everyone else trained to do the same thing, so now she always arrives a little early to family celebrations without even knowing. She always thinks she late." ~ CorrectDocument2 "NTA, This happened to my chronically late sister-in-law recently and she also said other sister-in-law who told her the earlier time embarrassed her. That’s how you know you’re dealing with a selfish a**hole. He should be way more embarrassed about being chronically late than he is about being on time for once." ~ SoCalThrowAway7 "You’re a great sister and an even better daughter, well done." ~ Due-Extreme-7608 "To be fair he wasn’t even on time for the fake time! I’d be reminding him of this and say that had he been given the right time he would have been late for the surprise." ~ wtaf28 "NTA I tell people to lie to me about start times for situations like this one, and they can’t tell me they’re lying. I also can’t do it for myself, like if I know it starts at 5:30 but tell myself 5. Still late." "I’m beyond hating myself for it and I have no pride. I’m hopelessly timeblind except for the few anomalous moments when I’m impeccably on the nose. Go figure." ~ PricelessPaylessBoot "If you people are embarrassed because they showed up late to the fake early time then they need to start showing up on time to the correct one. NTA." ~ aeroeagleAC "NTA. We used to do this with my MIL. If dinner was 7, we would tell her 6. Then she would arrive around 8, and be annoyed everyone had eaten already (not making small children and a diabetic wait until she arrives)." "She was also late to our wedding, despite only needing to exit her hotel room and walk into the gardens." ~ HereLiesSarah "He should’ve thanked you for getting him there on time. And I say this as a chronically late person.NTA." ~ wordsmythy "Yes…he should be embarrassed. He almost missed his daughter’s surprise. Because he was late. Again." ~ iwanttoquitworking "I'd ask him if he's really complaining about you assuming he'd be late when he was in fact late." ~ authorinthesunset "NTA. You didn't embarrass him, you told him an earlier time to ensure he'd be there on time. You didn't even call him out on it. If he's embarrassed he has no one else to blame but himself and you should tell him as such." ~ Shadow11Wolf50 "I don't understand what your dad is saying. Yes he's right: you humiliated him by proving he's an unreliable baby, and that's embarassing. It should be." "But is he suggesting you shouldn't have done it? Is he suggesting you should have allowed him to ruin the surprise?" ~ Hopeful_Dance_268 "NTA - people who are always late are inconsiderate pieces of garbage. They think they are more important than others and do it on purpose. If they get their feelings hurt, oh well." ~ Black_knight_sapper "NTA. If he's embarrassed is because his own rudeness wasn't overlooked like he's used to. Embarrassed is the correct feeling for being late." ~ fruitjerky "So he got mad... he was on time? This reaction tells me he knows he's always late, which means he's actively choosing to be late. Not saying he's doing it for attention, but it's certainly a red flag for some narcistic ish like that. NTA." ~ Interesting-End1710 "NTA. If he's embarrassed is because his own rudeness wasn't overlooked like he's used to. Embarrassed is the correct feeling for being late." ~ fruitjerky "So he got mad... he was on time? This reaction tells me he knows he's always late, which means he's actively choosing to be late. Not saying he's doing it for attention, but it's certainly a red flag for some narcistic ish like that. NTA." ~ Interesting-End1710 "You did what you needed to. But it was unappreciated so future attempts should be the accurate time and if they're late, do not try to apologize or fix the situation, let them be responsible solely for the consequences of their actions even if it's a missed event. Don't wait for them." ~ KnowsIittle "NTA... I had a chronically late family member that got pissed at us for doing the same thing, only we told them 1/2 hour earlier for EVERYTHING and they still showed up OVER 1/2 an hour later." "When we had a surprise birthday party for someone, we told the chronically late person a time 1/2 hour LATER than the actual 'surprise' time just so we wouldn't risk them showing up at the same time as the surprise. Only then did they finally come to grips with THEM being the problem." ~ Nutella_Zamboni "You weren't rude, you were realistic. Embarassed him to who? Himself? That's on him. Maybe he'll be embarassed enough at himself to make an effort to be on time more. NTA." ~ takatine "NTA. You accomplished what you needed to. If he complains again, ask him if he'd rather have spoiled the surprise." ~ JosieJOK OP's concern was for her sister, not her father's ego. That should have been his biggest concern as well. --- ### Redditor Finds Hilariously Petty Way To Deter Neighbor From Hanging Out Outside Their Home **Published:** October 1, 2026 | **Author:** Thomas Dane | **Section:** General **URL:** https://percolately.com/petty-deter-neighbor-reddit/.md Sometimes neighbors can be a pain. When certain neighborly situations escalate, the fallout can be stressful and everlasting. But when some people feel they've been pushed too far, they feel retaliation is the only recourse. Let the games begin! Redditor Human_Philosopher339 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit. They asked: ""AITA For hanging a bunch of windchimes to deter my neighbor from being outside my home The Original Poster (OP) explained: "I rent an A D U, and a family member rents the main house on the property." "We both rent from another family member who owns the whole lot." "Before the ADU was built, this guy had random junk in the backyard and spent a lot of time back there just doing weird sh*t." "Now the home is built, and the yard space is tiny." "He went to buy some big thing we knew wouldn't fit in his little junk yard and was told not to because it would block the walkway and he’d have to relocate it anyway." "And well, that conversation went great, if you consider screaming and threatening physical violence 'great.'" "Today the monstrosity sits right outside my door, bottlenecking the walkway." "My guests have to maneuver through his junk and witness him doing his weird little rituals just to get in my house." "It’s embarrassing; it makes the place look like a salvage yard, and my front window has basically become a live show of buffoonery." "Six months passed with zero progress." "So, I went the petty route and hung an irrational amount of wind chimes right outside." "Do they drive me crazy too? Absolutely." "It sounds like an aggressive orchestra every time a breeze hits." "But I’m a woman on a mission, and warfare requires sacrifices." "Now the main house is pissed, claiming the chimes are bothering their baby." "I told them the chimes come down the second he stops hanging out outside my window and clears the junk." "Naturally, the family is divided." "Most agree he needs to move his junk, but the chimes take things too far." "Meanwhile, the owner told him to clear it out... got screamed at, and promptly tapped out to keep the peace." The OP was left to wonder: "So... AITA?" Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA: NTA – Not The A**hole YTA – You're The A**hole NAH – No A**holes Here ESH – Everyone Sucks Here INFO - More Information Needed Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole. "Look up the number for the fire marshal and fire code enforcement in your town." "Call them and explain that you are concerned about the number of objects blocking your exit, and you want to know whether or not it's a fire hazard." "They will come out, they will look at these things, and based on what you're describing, they will issue a notice that this must be corrected ASAP." "Now it's not your problem." ~ KrofftSurvivor "Unless OP can somehow confirm the ADU was properly permitted and inspected, it might not be wise to call the authorities on themselves." "It could backfire with OP being out of a home if the unit isn't legal." "Not saying this is definitely the case, but the landlord who doesn't give a sh*t if there's a scrapyard on his property would probably be high on the list of people who don't go by the book, lol." ~ DeaconBlues "Don't threaten to do it." "Don't breathe a word of it." "Nobody has to know it was you." "I mean, they'll guess, but you can deny it." "Maybe the code enforcement guy was just driving down the street and saw an obvious problem or something." 'Code enforcement does occasionally just... do that, at least in my town." ~ Ippus_21 "NTA, and you have a landlord problem just as much as a neighbor problem." "And that they're both family?" "Yikes. I'd move." ~ MusketeersPlus2 "Sometimes, the cheapest way to pay for something is with money." "Right now you're paying part of your rent with your comfort, your safety, and your ability to easily host friends." "You need to decide if that is worth less than the money you'd have to spend to rent elsewhere." "At a minimum, I'd say to tell the landlord that either they need to enforce reasonable standards of how much junk is in the yard, or you'll have to have a conversation with the Fire Marshal - and then follow through." "As for your original question, no, NTA." "Baby can be soothed with a white noise machine." "And if you don't have one, I recommend a nice single-tube wind chime- it gives you some good deep notes to mix with the high tinkly ones." ~ SisterofWar "NTA. The guy is clearly irrational, and you can only meet that with a higher form of irrationality." ~ bootsmegamix "NTA. Wind chimes are annoying." "Physically obstructing your door is illegal and a fire code violation." ~ Beck943 "ESH. The main house renter for being a crappy neighbor." "You because you rented a place knowing the backyard was being used as a junkyard and that the other tenant spends a lot of time back there and you're now annoyed that the backyard is being used as a junkyard and that the other tenant spends a lot of time there, and your solution is one that will bother everyone in the surrounding area not just the main house." ~ SecurityAwkward7945 "NTA, if the junk is blocking the walkway to your door from the road, it’s on your landlord to get it gone." "The fact that you have had to do anything is ridiculous." "They don’t get to keep peace by tolerating things that put tenants in danger during a fire." ~ Perlinian_Willow "ESH, obviously him more than you." "I would call the landlord, express that the junk is still there, and say that a friend who visited mentioned that it could be a hazard if there was an emergency and the entrance is blocked." "Say that you are now worried about it being a hazard, and if the item isn’t moved, you’ll need to call the fire marshal about it because you feel unsafe." "Additionally, perhaps ask if they can add a temporary fence/barrier around a portion of the yard where the other tenant can’t put anything so that this doesn’t happen again." "It’s likely that if you bring up that it’s a hazard and you might need to call the fire marshal, they’ll tell the other tenant to move their sh*t rather than get fined." ~ Own-Adhesiveness5723 "NTA. So many people are completely oblivious to others and their impacts on other people." "Weaponizing wind chimes is a great move." ~ CheeseSandwich "NTA. It could be a fire hazard." "Contact the fire dept and tell them he is blocking access to your home." "Also ask Code Enforcement to drop by; they can fine the owner who seems to think it’s not his problem." ~ murphy2345678 "NTA. It could be a fire hazard." "Contact the fire dept and tell them he is blocking access to your home." "Also ask Code Enforcement to drop by; they can fine the owner who seems to think it’s not his problem." ~ murphy2345678 "NTA. Can you move the junk in front of his walkway?" "If they have a baby, I would hope his partner would make him clean it up pretty quick." ~ the_show_must_go_onn "If someone was giving me $1000/month for rent, I'd shut my mouth." "Start carrying pepper spray." "If he impedes you in any way, spray him." "He should learn after the 1st time." "Make sure to have something to cover your eyes." "It shouldn't be illegal either." "If I caught him looking at my screens, I would keep a spray bottle of bleach." "Spray it at his eyes." "I live in a community where wind chimes are not allowed." "You disturb every neighbor where you live." "They will eventually turn on you." "If you TRULY want it to stop, there are ways you can handle it yourself." ~ Cannagurlie "NTA, but if his property (ie the junk he bought) is on your landlord's property/the property you lease, then this is a civil matter." "If you are sure everything is up to code on the properties you rent, then you could call code enforcement because blocking designated egress can be an issue. " "BUT this could backfire." "If you're doing things to discourage him from being outside, that's not the A, he's doing the same - putting eyesores in his yard." "Good fences make better neighbors for a reason." ~ EquivalentTwo1 "NTA. He's blocking access and making it difficult for you to get in and out." "If he can fill the yard with his stuff, so can you." "I doubt this will produce a long-term solution, though." "Maybe talk to your landlord about how you can't keep going like this, and that if he wants to keep getting rent money, he needs to get this under control." "Seriously, he's not going to get a new tenant if you bail, not if they have to wade through a junkyard to see the place." "You could also check if there are local zoning rules that he's breaking." "If they are, report this to them, and they'll deal with his nonsense." ~ Mira_DFalco OP came back with some updates... "The owner did tell him that he needed to clear his clutter out because it sits directly in front of my front door and did make it clear before the home was even completed." "I'm sorry I wrote it in a way that was confusing; I'm trying to be vague." "To clarify, the junk owner is the renter of the main house." "The owner of the homes does not live on the property." This is a rough situation, OP. Sometimes petty is necessary. There has to be legal recourse. Stand your ground. 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