Many people bemoan how much we’ve come to depend on technology in modern society.
True, various advances in technology, namely the internet and cellular phones, do have countless advantages.
After all, it was smartphones and the internet that kept people connected in the early stages of the global pandemic.
However, one can’t help but raise their eyebrows at the fact that it’s simply not possible to go anywhere without seeing most people glued to their phones.
One of the many reasons Redditor oillpainter decided to make their new home a television and WiFi-free space.
A decision that did not sit particularly well with the original poster (OP)’s boyfriend… and his suggestions to change this sat equally poorly for the OP.
Concerned that they might be being obstinate, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not having internet / tv / games at my house, when my boyfriend stays over most weekends?”
The OP explained how while they feel they benefited from a technological cut-off in their house, their boyfriend felt otherwise, leading to some conflict in their relationship.
“Ok, I know this makes me a bit of a weirdo, but I don’t have a TV or home internet.”
“Or really any tech at home except my phone.”
“I don’t even take my work laptop home.”
“It’s not like I’m not online at all.”
“I love listening to podcasts or youtube video essays on my phone when I’m working on home renovations or my cars.”
“I just honestly get sick of sitting around looking at screens after working a desk job all day.”
“And honestly I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.”
“I hardly have time in the day to do everything I wanna do already.”
“But even during my downtime, I’d probably rather smoke a bowl and go out to stargaze or chill in the greenhouse.”
“My boyfriend has probably a more normal relationship with tech, he has a TV and has Netflix, Disney+ and a few other streaming services I forget, and is usually watching a few shows.”
“And he has a gaming PC, and a laptop, so he games a few nights a week.”
“He’s got other hobbies, he plays hockey and runs too, but those don’t take all his time.”
“It’s a little annoying for me when I come to hang out with him at his apartment and the main stuff to do is watch a movie or game or watch TV.”
“But we’ve found enough movies we both like for some chill nights in.”
“But he gets super bored when he’s over at my house.”
“Which is more often, because he has an apartment he shares with his cousin, and I bought a house that was a total fixer-upper at first but is now getting pretty nice.”
“We like to spend the weekends together, and he gets super bored without wifi and frustrated that he’s on a limited data plan and is wasting his data.”
“I’ve suggested he goes to the corner coffeeshop if he wants to look something up, and he says it’s not just one thing, he feels ‘cut off’ from the world.”
“He keeps trying to tell me I should get TV and internet and maybe a gaming console for my house, and saying he’ll let me share his streaming services, Steam, etc., and I’m honestly not interested.”
“It costs a lot here for internet, and all the stuff like a TV or console would cost extra too.”
“So I’ve told him he can bring a TV or computer or whatever, I’ve finished the attic but haven’t done anything with it yet so it could be a little game room/home theater.”
“But he says it wouldn’t even work without wifi and he’s not paying my internet bills.”
“So we keep on having this conflict, he resents I don’t have ‘anything to do’ when he stays with me, and I feel frustrated that he wants me to drop hundreds or thousands on gadgets and internet.”
“He feels like it’s a basic utility and a pretty basic expectation if you have guests, and I’ve honestly started feeling kinda offended he feels so ‘bored’ by my company he’d rather watch TV in my house instead of hanging out.”
“AITA for not having internet / tv / games at my house, when my boyfriend stays over most weekends?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for not getting TV and WiFi in their house just to please their boyfriend, though many felt that their boyfriend was likewise not the a**hole for urging them to do so.
While everyone agreed that the OP should make their house exactly to their liking, and shouldn’t be compelled to install TV and WiFi, they also agreed that the OP and their boyfriend didn’t seem particularly compatible, and questioned whether or not this relationship had sustainability.
“NTA.”
“But honestly it doesn’t sound like you are very compatible people if you both dislike spending time together at each other’s houses due to the activities that are available.”- angelaheidt
“NTA.”
“highly hypocritical of him to not want to spend money on more data for his phone but wants you to use your money to get wifi so he won’t have to spend his money.”
“He wants to act like the place is his but doesn’t want to pitch in.”
“Nope.”- This_Hybrid_Moment
“NTA.”
“But you seriously have nowhere near enough in common.”- Gromit801
“NAH.”
“I don’t think either of you are wrong in your opinions it’s just currently they’re incompatible.”
“You want to be cut off from technology at home which is totally fair and he wants to still enjoy which is also totally fair.”
“The real question is, if you live together in the future will you resent him for the time he spends on the internet or watching shows?”
“This may come down to a question of compatibility later on in your relationship.”- FlyGuy1922
“NTA.”
“You can be Amish if you want, but your bf will never be happy with being at your place.”
“Where do you see yourself long term?”
“If you guys get serious and decide to move in together, let’s say he moves in with you, are you still going to enforce ‘no tech’?”
“Ya’ll might want to reconsider the relationship.”
“You’ve got diametrically opposing lifestyles here.”- Barry_McKackiner
“NAH.”
“But are you compatible?”
“My boyfriend and I are huge movie buffs.”
“I’m trying to imagine being at someone’s house for an entire 48 hours without TV or internet.”
“What would that look like?”
“A full 2 days 1 night?”
“I mean cooking, eating and doing dishes probably could take 2 hours.”
“Sitting and talking for an hour sounds fair/relaxing/sex.”
“Maybe going for a walk, exercise, or sport for an hour?”
“Play a board game or some type of game for 2 hours?”
“And that’s a long game.”
“Do that all twice and that’s 12 hours.”
“Sleep and shower for about 8 hours.”
“Yeah I would need my phone and books to survive 2 full entire days.”
“I’d read a lot if I were at your house.”
“Either that or we’re leaving the house and doing activities for some time as well lol.”
“Maybe your boyfriend needs to stay a shorter time, come over at supper time, leave early morning, or you need to plan more outings like going to a movie theater, etc.”
“Good luck!”- SpeakingNight
“It’s hard to imagine that you feel entertained for the whole weekend when BF is visiting, without an occasional break from passing time and substituting a movie or a game.”
“IMO BF would be a lot happier if there was something available to accent socializing with you.”
“He’s not bored with your company.”
“He’s bored with what you both are doing.”
“Remembering back to dating, we had conversation, intimacy, watched tv, played games, and a lot of other things to choose from for things to do.”
“All of this was a part of sharing the experience with each other.”- harleybidness
“NAH.”
“But OP, based on your comments to others.”
“You’re seriously out of touch and not open to their insights.”
“You can’t force someone to enjoy your hobbies.”
“So saying that ‘there’s lots to do’ doesn’t mean there’s lots for him to do, all it says is there’s lots for you to do.”
“You getting offended at him being bored is controlling nonsense.”- kossl2000
“NTA.”
“But I think you might look down on him for liking things that involve screen time.”
“It just doesn’t sound like you’re a good match.”
“You both deserve to be with compatible partners.”
“NAH.”- goblinbeforesunset
The OP should not be judged for living a relatively technology-free life.
Nor should their boyfriend be judged for enjoying television and video games every now and then.
Finding common ground between their two worlds might not be that difficult.
But if either of them is unwilling to find it, one can only wonder how long this relationship will last.