Accidents happen.
Without any intention, we’ve all found ourselves breaking something purely out of inopportune timing or bad luck.
When we break something of ours, we can generally clean it up, and learn from our mistakes.
If we break or damage something belonging to someone else though, even by accident, things get a little more complicated.
Redditor mishchelle589 recently hosted a dinner party, in which one of their good friends brought their boyfriend.
Perhaps in an attempt to make a good impression, this young man felt the need to show off a little.
Breaking some of the original poster (OP)’s belongings in the process.
Wanting these items replaced, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for saying if you break, you buy?”
The OP explained why they felt the boyfriend of a friend of theirs needed to pay up:
“I recently hosted a dinner party for my friends and I allowed them to bring their significant others and plus ones.”
“One of my best friends of many years brought her boyfriend whom I have never met until now.”
“During said party, her boyfriend wanted to show off his ability to do a handstand, effectively knocking into one of my tables and shattering a lot of expensive pottery and glassware.”
“No one was hurt but everything was shattered beyond repair.”
“My best friend apologized effusively and I said it was fine I was just wanted the items that were damaged to be replaced.”
“I’d like to clarify that the items were expensive for what they were (vases/ornamental bowls) because they were made by small artists but they were not expensive overall.”
“I’d reckon $40-80 per item he broke, and he broke 3.”
“He also has a stable job and is more than monetarily able to replace the items from the original sellers.”
“I would also like to specify that this party had more of a classy/dinner party vibe.”
“No one was drinking excessively.”
“All my friends are in their mid to late twenties and her boyfriend was actually older (early thirties).”
“However, he seemed to be unable to read the room throughout the whole party and just had such a hyper energy, hence the random showing off of the handstand.”
“This is also why I didn’t put away everything because I believe if he didn’t do the handstand nothing would have happened to the decor.”
“My friend asked if instead her boyfriend could just replace the items with stuff from IKEA or Marshall’s.”
“I said no as I want the original items that were broken.”
“She responded that I was being unreasonable asking for such expensive vases and that it was an accident.”
“I pointed out how preventable the accident was.”
“AITA for asking for replacements for what was broken if it was expensive and an accident?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for wanting their friend’s boyfriend to replace their damaged items.
No one could understand why the boyfriend of the OP’s friend felt compelled to do a handstand in the middle of their home, and even if it was an accident, it would be the right thing for them to pay for the items he broke:
“NTA!”
“Who does a f*cking handstand in the middle of someone else’s living room?”
“That’s just bizarre and then breaks a bunch of stuff.”
“Moronic is just one word I would use.”
“Give them an invoice for the damage and tell them you expect payment in due course.”
“Depending on the cost it could be a small claims court.”- wowgamertbc
“NTA.”
“Doing a handstand… especially at a perfect stranger’s house… is a stupid thing to do.”
“Doesn’t matter if you’re sober or drunk.”
“As the saying goes: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”- Spare-Shirt24
“I’m f*cking sorry.”
“WHAT?”
“HER BOYFRIEND DID A WHAT?”
“NTA OP.”
“I am very upset for you.”
“Nope, he’s gotta take responsibility.”
“I would definitely get the bill on this guy.”
“That’s just completely negligent to the highest degree.”- GhostPantherAssualt
“NTA.”
“Who the heck does a handstand to show off after the age of, um, maybe 16?”- Puskarella
“NTA obviously.”
“Some friend.”
“Her boy’s lucky the damage didn’t cost 10 or 100 times as much.”- ReadMeDrMemory
“NTA.”
“Hold firm.”
“Even if it was a true accident (as opposed to a preventable one), it is still the responsibility of the person who caused the damage to make the other person ‘whole’.”
“Ikea is not a substitute for original artists’ pottery.”
“The guy needs to make you ‘whole’.”
“If he’s going to choose to do handstands in spaces not suited to that, he is also choosing to take full responsibility for the consequences.”- swillshop
“My daughter is 11 and her friends know not to do stupid stuff that breaks my things.”
“I would keep pushing her until she pays you.”
“She can shake down her immature boyfriend for money.”
“NTA.”- friendlily
“NTA.”
“Breaking something through jack@ss behavior means you replace the items and hope no one brings it up again.”
“You have reasonable expectations to be reimbursed correctly, not on an Ikea budget.”- verminiusrex
“NTA.”
“If for some reason my guest at a friend’s home did something like this, I’d be all over replacing the art.”
“I’d be mortified.”- EzAeMy
“NTA.”
“He needs to pay up, and if he doesn’t, take him to small claims court for the damages of everything, including the table if he broke that too!”
“And he’s not allowed back.”- Plastic-Ad-5171
“NTA.”
“Give him an itemized list.”
“If he has insurance it may pay for the items. You may need to take him to small claims court.”
“His behavior was absolutely unacceptable.”- pezgirl247
“NTA.”
“He needs to pay up.”
“IKEA doesn’t quite cut it.”- sugarintheboots
“Absolutely NTA.”
“Yeah, accidents happen, but that doesn’t make him any less responsible.”
“If i went out and accidentally crashed into someone else’s car, it would be on me and my insurance to cover the damages.”
“Also, what grown adult shows off with a handstand at a dinner party.”
“He should cover the amount that was damaged, and IKEA isn’t going to cut it.”- ZomB-Boy
“NTA, the f*ck is wrong with both of them?”- 5PeeBeejay5
“I mean you have to know you are NTA and are just collecting like 10,000 responses to show your friend what a lunatic she is.”
:Well, here is one of those responses.”
“NTA.”
“Your friend is a lunatic.”- teamnowak
“NTA at all.”
“What was he thinking doing a handstand during a nice dinner party.”
“Showing off?”- Disney1960
“NTA.”
“You don’t do [checks notes] handstands, at indoor dinner parties.”- this1weirdgirl
“You’re not being unreasonable, and her boyfriend is wild.”
“What sane person would try to parody Jackie Chan near decorated dinner tables?”
“He absolutely owes you money or replacements for everything he broke.”
“Your friend has no leg to stand on here; she brought this catastrophe of a human into your home, she’s complicit.”
“NTA.”- gravitational_lens
“NTA.”
“When you break something, you replace it to the owner’s satisfaction.”
“Unless you’re an AH.”- Chunkykitty_2000
“NTA.”
“I’m sorry, he’s over 30 and doesn’t know if you’re gonna do sh*t like that, you at least check what’s near you?”
“You’re asking him to pay max $240 for a mistake that was 100% preventable by just being respectful of someone’s space.”
“Of course he should pay.”- Buffalo-Empty
“First, NTA.”
“Secondly, wow!”
“Just wow!”
“What bizarre behaviour. There was no accident.”
“Just a fool who chose to undertake a completely inappropriate action.”
“It was a premeditated act, and therefore you are 100% in the right to demand full compensation.”
“Good luck!”- ChibbleChobble
“NTA.”
“It wasn’t just an accident.”
“Everyone knows that you don’t do a handstand near fragile items.”
“I get if it was in the thousands you’d just need to claim insurance, but $200-odd isn’t an unreasonable amount to ask from someone for acting like an idiot.”- Royal_Eye6517
“NTA.”
“What is he 6?”
“Jesus christ.”
“Make him buy the right sh*t.”- HouseMDeezNuts
“NTA.”
“Who does a handstand, indoors, in someone you’ve just met’s living room, in their 30s, at a dinner party?”
“You broke it, you bought it, bro.”- Jun1p3rsm0m
“NTA.”
“Lol I thought the vases were going to be a few hundred dollars or more.”
“But 40-80 is not expensive, not that it really changes anything.”
“He’s an adult and should own up to his mistake and replace the items.”- GotenRocko
“My then 3-year-old broke a picture frame at my best friend’s mom’s house while playing.”
“He went up and said sorry, I found a similar one on Amazon (as that’s where she got it) within 5 min and had it ordered, even though she said it was fine and not to bother, she’s like I’m the one that gave him the toy he was swinging around that knocked into it.”
“I tried to get as close to what she had (it was not a custom piece, but if it had been… I’d have been asking where she got it, and bought the exact replacement there too).”
“Because that’s what you do when you damage someone’s home, accidents happen but you still fix the loss.”
“At the closest version possible.”
“You’re NTA. In my example.”
“My 3-year-old was being a 3-year-old.”
“This ‘guest’ was also being a 3-year-old, and your friend is beyond rude for suggesting cheaper replacements.”- CallMeASinner
Seeing as he was dating one of the OP’s best friends, one can at least understand why this guy felt compelled to leave a good impression on the OP.
How he thought doing a handstand in the middle of the OP’s house would lead to a good impression is a little more confusing.
About as confusing as his not feeling even slightly compelled to replace the items that broke because of his ill-advised handstand.