Everyone looks forward to the summer.
Later sunsets, lounging by the pool or lake, trips to the beach, there is so much to enjoy.
Which is why it’s somewhat ironic that one thing people don’t always look forward to in the summer is heat, at least in extreme cases.
Particularly if you don’t have immediate access to a pool or air conditioning.
Such was the case for Redditor lizfour, who found themselves without a place to cool down in their air conditioning free home.
So when their husband chose to cook in the oven during this heatwave, the original poster (OP) made no effort to hide their displeasure.
But wondering if their reaction wasn’t fair, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for being ungrateful that my husband cooked dinner?”
The OP explained how they figured out a solution which seemed to make a small difference in keeping their house as cool as possible, something they felt their husband chose to ignore.
“We’re in the UK.”
“Our place is old and has no air con, and is the kind that retains heat in the summer, no matter how open windows are.”
“Currently sitting at 32.5c/90.5f inside, according to thermostat which isn’t even in the hottest area, and the air feels heavy.”
“Outside is no relief.”
“I’ve been saying for days to leave the oven and gas hob alone as much as possible at least until the thermostat drops about 5c.”
“We’ve got plenty of supplies for salads, sandwiches, not to mention a supply of batch cooked food already in the freezer if someone did want something warm to microwave.”
“I come downstairs mid afternoon after chilling out, as much as one can, in one of the rear rooms, and I’m blasted with heat.”
“He’s been cooking, looks at me and says it’s nearly ready.”
“Hobs and oven, the kind of food that takes about 40/50 mins of heat to get done.”
“I ask why he’s done that when he knew it would make the place more uncomfortable, and reminded him we had plenty of other options.”
“I’m now ungrateful that he’s spent time cooking, he actually said I should consider he spent that time over a hot oven in this heat and say thanks.”
“I just replied that he chose to do that, when I had never asked him to.”
“The idea of hot food was really unappealing, but it’s the kind of food that can congeal if left.”
“I said was sorry but I wouldn’t be eating it, and asked him to consider whether adding a few degrees to the house was worth it.”
“He said he was going to work so it didn’t matter to him, he’s now left and I’m doing what I can to air the place out as we have 3 cats and they are obviously struggling.”
“Not to mention I’m melting.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community tended to agree that the OP was not the a**hole, and was justified in being angry at their husband for using the stove.
Most everyone agreed that while it seemed like a nice gesture on the part of the OP’s husband, he nonetheless used the stove despite being explicitly told not to, and the fact that he was on his way out the door before doing so only made things worse.
“It seems like a he did what he thought you ought to appreciate rather than listen to the message of what you actually wanted.”- Kris82868
“Kind of a dick move to heat up the house further then leave.”- StellaSaysSo
“He cooked for himself, made the place more uncomfortably hot and then left.”- awhitehibiscus
“This level of heat is uncommon.”
“Our homes are designed to hold heat in.”
“They’re usually thickly carpeted with underlay and our walls and attics are heavily insulated.”
“The humidity here is truly something else and homes simply do not have AC.”
“Most people have a desk fan if anything.”
“It’s stifling and like being smothered and none of us are acclimated to living like this.”
“The hospitals are overrun with heat stroke patients and fainters.”
“The government have issued a health alert and advice on how to keep homes cool.”
“Honestly, running the oven is contraindicated.”
“This was a thoughtless act of thoughtfulness at best.”- thehappymuggle
“He knew he wasn’t going to have to deal with the consequences so he did what he wanted and then left for work.”
“Is he always this self centered?”- Yobsjeremy82
“I think he cooked for himself in spite of the temp.”
‘That’s what he wanted and that’s what he made.”
“You just happen to be there, so he made enough for you also.”
“Then he pretended it was done with you in mind and told you to be grateful.”
“This guy sucks.”- PrettyFroyoyo
“Dear me, what fool would do that during a heat wave?”
“Oh, friend, I support you 100%.”
“We live in BC, where very few houses have AC because we historically didn’t need it more than a few days a year.”
“My kids’ dad is an architect and knows his applied physics, so he taught me to keep a house cool.”
“My whole family is trained on our heat wave protocol, which probably saved our cat’s life last year during a ‘heat dome’ that killed wildlife as well as humans and created horrific fire conditions.”
“We shut the house as soon as the sun hits windows in the morning—windows closed, blinds closed.”
“We keep fans blowing in from the cool side of the house as long as it’s cooler outside than in, but as soon as it warms up out there, we seal that side too.”
“We keep fans going and set baking trays of ice in front of them.”
“We open the house as soon as the outside air is cooler, and crank the fans.”
“And we cook nothing.”
“Sandwiches, salads, microwave. I prep extra meals when we’re going to be over 30 for more than a couple of days.”
“Any heat generated in our kitchen goes straight upstairs to the bedrooms, and makes it harder to cool them down at night.”
“Even the kids know that cooking will make it hard for them to go to sleep.”
“This regimen works to keep our downstairs about 10C cooler than the outside, which if you’re at 37 can be the difference between tolerable and really uncomfortable.”
“Last year when we got up to 47C, it was the difference between livable and deadly.”
“And our poor cat kept going upstairs and getting wobbly and panting.”
“We finally crated him downstairs so he wouldn’t go up there and do himself a harm.”- Amiedeslivres
“NTA especially since you have no A/C.”
“I feel horrible for you and your cats.”- Dear_Rhubarb8716
“I live in Las Vegas where it usually gets up to 110°F (43C) outside during the summer.”
“We have air conditioning and we still refuse to use the oven from June through August so our air conditioner doesn’t have to work harder to cool our old house.”
“I can’t imagine adding oven heat to the inside temps you all are dealing with.”
“Hopefully this heat wave ends for you soon!”- Phoenix-122
“You’ll probably have to remortgage your house now to pay for the energy he used.”- Maniac_Pony
“What he did was inconsiderate.”
“He needs to think about the perspective and needs of others.”
“40 mins of cooking hot food is really poor decision making if there is no temperature control in the house.”- LadyCass79
“He not only made your house more unbearable to be in, he ignored the fact that you had food that could be quickly microwaved and he ignored you when you said not to use the cooker.”
“He is a massive and inconsiderate AH.”- VFequalsVeryFcked
“I’m in Germany and its just horrible here as well.”
“probably still a bit more bearable from what my UK friends told me.”
“The heat sucks tho.”
“We’ve been living off of microwave food and some baked goods early morning when it’s still coldish.”
“There is no wind, sun is blasting and also no rain in sight.”
“Glad when this heatwave is over.”
“Hi, NTA but as a South African I’m going to give you some advice.”
“Get a fan, get a wet towel and freeze it.”
“Fill up another towel with ice.’
“Fill a spray bottle with ice and water and place the fan on you, spray the fan every now and then to help your house cool down, put the ice towel around your neck.”- LeeLadyLove
Cooking for one’s spouse is always a generous thing to do.
But when one doesn’t make something that they know their spouse will want, and goes expressly against their wishes in doing so, the gesture is somewhat lost.
A nice, cold drink would perhaps be the best way for the OP’s husband to begin an apology to smooth things over.