No two people share the same opinion on re-gifting, or giving someone else something that was initially a gift given to you.
It is, of course, an extremely easy solution when one finds themselves at a loss of what to get someone.
And sometimes, it might works out, and the gift is a success.
Other times, though, it might result in conflict, particularly from the person who initially gave you the present in question.
Redditor laptopthrowaay saved up to get his girlfriend something that she had been talking about for some time, only to find out that she regifted it to her younger sister.
Not at all pleased by this news, he made a request to his girlfriend, one she profusely rejected.
Wondering if this request was, indeed, inappropriate, the original poster (OP), took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for asking for the laptop I gifted my girlfriend after she gave it to her sister?”
The OP explained how after saving up and working hard to get his girlfriend a present he knew she wanted, he was angry and hurt to find she almost immediately re-gifted it.
“My girlfriend have been talking about getting a laptop for a long time.”
“I offered her mine because I don’t use it but she said it was old and slow.”
“So for her birthday I got her a new one.”
“She used it for literally two days and then gave it to her sister.”
“When I inquired about the reason she said she didn’t like it and that her sister is going to need it more than her because she’s starting college this fall.”
“I told her if she wanted to give her sister a laptop she should’ve been the one to buy it.”
“And that you can’t just give away a model that you did a lot of research about because you didn’t like it after trying it for 2 days.”
“I reminded her that we could’ve traded it for a different model or sold it or whatever and got a new one.”
Feeling he had been taken advantage of, the OP felt there was only one solution.
“I told her I’ve been depriving myself from a lot of stuff for 8 months so I could buy the laptop for her so I asked for it back.”
“She told me that she can’t do that because in the US it’s rude to ask for gifts back, and since the laptop was a gift I can’t ask her for it back and same goes for her with her sister after she gifted it.”
“I think it’s more rude to pretend for months to want something just so you could give it to someone else shortly after you receive it unless there was a valid reason like the gift requiring money or maintenance or receiving similar gifts.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for asking for his laptop back.
Many people thought that the OP’s girlfriend may have manipulated him into buying her the laptop just so she could give it to her sister, with many even urging the OP to break up with her.
“While technically, once you give a gift, the other person can do whatever they want with it, it actually sounds like you were played.”
“It sounds like she always intended to give her sister the laptop and probably worked with her to make sure it was exactly what the sister wanted and needed.”
“Your gf used you.”
“You are exactly correct that if she actually wanted a laptop, she could have told you that the one you got wasn’t quite right and you could have returned and exchanged it for one that was more to her liking if she really wanted a laptop.”
“What she wanted was for you to fund a gift for her sister.”
“Get the laptop back, then break up with her.”
“This one is not a keeper – she’s a user.”
“NTA and your girlfriend sucks.”- Whaddup_B00sh
“This is an expensive lesson for you to learn.”
“I don’t think she’s actually going to get the laptop back for you, but you’re NTA for asking.”- samantha-tzofiya
“Call.her sister and tell her you need it back.”
“I’m American as well and I don’t play those games.”
“Gf was rude AF to do that.”- ProfessionalCar6255
“You got the gift for her to use, not her sister.”
“I am petty AF so this is NOT advice.”
“I would take the laptop back at the first chance that I got, return/sell it, and breakup with girlfriend.”- Purple-Mermaid-1967
“You were not asking her to give the gift back.”
“You were asking her to be honest with you that she didn’t like the laptop.”
“The gall of her to say that it is impolite to ask for gifts back.”
“You were not asking for the gift back, you were asking that you could have the opportunity to find something that she liked better.”
“We have all done the research on the features, speeds, RAMs, etc., only to find that you don’t like the keyboard or the sound is bad when you have it in hand.”
“So you think she was conning you in order to get a laptop for her sister?”
“Do you think sister knows that you bought it for gf?”
“Or did gf say it was a gift from her to her sister?”
“Tell gf that as it was a gift from you to the sister, you expect a thank you note.”
“Not sending a thank you note in the US is very, very rude.”
“If she objects, ask her why did she re-gift a present to her to her sister?”
“Re-gifting in the US is also very rude.”
“So gf needs to either get sister to write thank you note or explain why it is okay for her to re-gift something rather than come to you and ask for an EXCHANGE.”- LhasaApsoSmile.
“She didn’t even bother to ask about whether you’d be cool with her giving away this expensive gift?”
“Get the laptop back and give it to your new gf.”- Royal_Examination_74
“Your GF sucks.”
“That’s really f*cked up.”
“‘Hey thanks for the gift I gave it to someone else’.”
“She literally has you out on your a** to pay for her sister’s laptop.”
“And that’s fucked up.”
“Get the laptop back and break up with the user.”- nottheonlyone007
“In America it’s also considered hella rude to re-gift.”
“Plus, I don’t know, it just seems obviously rude.”
“It’s not cheap and it sounds like you really had to sacrifice to get it, so she should know it’s not just something you can buy at the drop of the hat.”
“And she GAVE. IT. AWAY.”
“Was she also expecting you to buy her another laptop?”
“Here, take another NTA.”
“I’m sorry, this sucks for you.”- Dangerous-Project672
“I would say it’s a correct price for a breakup.”- tikeu10
“Tell your ex gf that in the US we call what she did Fraud.”- SophiaIsabella4
“I think you meant EX-girlfriend as this seems a bit like she used you.”- Salamandajoe
“You were used.”
“Cut your losses and dump her.”- DifferentFun9286
“Technically, your girlfriend is correct, once a gift is given, you have no control over what happens to it.”
“But she has a lot of gall calling you rude.”
“It was very disrespectful of your effort and sacrifices to basically toss her new laptop to her sister when you wanted to work with her to get her something she actually liked.”
“Unfortunately, I think the laptop is a write-off.”
“I’d take that as an opportunity to write off the entitled (ex-)girlfriend, too.”- JosieJOK
“Did you mean your ex-gf?”
“Try to get the laptop back, but regardless dump her ass.”- Southern-Ad-7168
“NTA but are you sure this was your girlfriend?”
“How often were you two actually seeing each other?”
“Were these hang outs for a decent amount of time?”
“What else has she had you purchase?”
“This screams secret sugar baby to me.”
“This does happen and you should definitely watch out for it in the future.”
“Sorry about the laptop.”- Substantial_Sin
“Your girlfriend doesn’t really know what’s rude and what is not rude because what she did is so rude and inconsiderate to you and just plain freaking rude.”
“I mean thank you girlfriend for representing America in such an embarrassing way!”
“Dude that is not how we all act.”
“I have pretended to love presents I got that I hated just not to be rude.”
“In fact for years I pretended I liked one specific thing until I found a legitimate way to exchange it that was not about me not liking it because I would never tell somebody I didn’t like the gift they gave me.”
“I can’t even fathom being so rude as your girlfriend.”
“Especially upon hearing that you were saved and sacrificed for eight months to get it ends up being something you all had talked about I’m just blown away by the act itself, but mostly her nonchalant attitude about it.”
“I would guess she has the same attitude about you and I would maybe think about that.”
“You did such a nice thing and it was not appreciated.”- Orphan_Izzy
One could say it was generous for the OP’s girlfriend to give her younger sister a laptop as she heads off to college.
Though the fact that the OP saved up to get it for her in the first place.
Especially if she buttered him up to get it for her with the sole intention of giving it to her sister.
One wonders how this will reflect their relationship.
Though it seems safe to say the OP’s girlfriend likely shouldn’t expect any expensive gifts in the near future.