Loves knows no bounds. Even if it’s between a 26-year-old man and a very alluring pile of leaves.
According to the Manchester Evening News, Michael Golsorkhi of Stockport, England, was incredibly high on cannabis and cocaine when he did something he would come to regret.
Did they let him choose the location for his mug shot? https://t.co/dVUiFF69gJ
— Todd Barry (@toddbarry) October 31, 2019
Employees at the Premier Inn in Stockport were on the job when they noticed Golsorkhi “acting suspiciously” outside. One staffer told the courts:
“[Then] we saw a white male with his trousers down and we could see his bum. There was nothing between me and this male. He was about a car length away from me and he appeared to be having sex.”
— #DitchTheTories ⚰️ (@moodynews101) October 31, 2019
I don’t be leaf it
— lloyd mapes (@mapes86) October 31, 2019
A quick examination of the scene quickly revealed something unexpected, however: he was thrusting into a loose pile of leaves…in full view of a nearby family restaurant. The witnesses’ statement continued.
“At one stage I shouted to him, ‘What are you doing, you dirty b*****d?’ and he then leapt up, pulled his trousers up and sat in the bushes.”
Okay, that is a little off. Well, at least he looks like he is … satisfied?
— Brent O (@OnlineDetective) October 31, 2019
Meanwhile, in the UK… https://t.co/cYcEF7jqH6
— Rita Panahi (@RitaPanahi) October 31, 2019
The police quickly arrived on the scene to find the hotel employees yelling at Golsorkhi, who about 10 minutes later emerged from the bushes.
“He gave no explanation for what he was doing. I was concerned for the hotel guests — there were children staying at the hotel.”
He was barking up the wrong tree.
— GRUMPY CHEF (@GrumpyChef) October 31, 2019
“what you in for bro?”
“shagged a pile of leaves”
— SomeTimesImFunny (@SomeTimesImFun2) October 31, 2019
Neville Warburton, Golsorkhi’s lawyer, says his client has no recollection of the incident.
“Unsurprisingly, this is relating to some information that he took drugs ranging from cocaine to cannabis and alcohol. He cannot explain his behavior. He is entirely embarrassed about that.”
Wait until the Supreme Court hears about this!
— John Rambo (@JohnJ2427) October 31, 2019
Hope he turns over a new leaf when he’s out
— olly clowes (@clowezy) October 31, 2019
After pleading guilty, Golsorkhi was sentenced to a fine of about $158 and eight weeks in prison.
His judge, Edward Tasker, gave him sage parting words.
“Think about your life. Make sure you do go out and seek help. Unfortunately for you, it is you who have found yourself in this position.”