“What’s mine is yours, and what’s yours is mine.”
Such is the general belief when entering into a marriage.
Though, it’s also not unreasonable for each spouse to have some items which are primarily theirs and might require their spouse to ask permission before using it.
Redditor FootHillsLawyer revealed he made the mistake of using something belonging to his wife without asking her first.
And how he used this particular product only made the situation worse.
Surprised by how angry this made his wife, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for using my wife’s shampoo and our good towels to wash our dogs?”
The OP first shared that when it came to running his household, he was under the impression that he and his wife were under a solid understanding.
“I have a first world problem that the Reddit masses get to weigh-in on, and it’s going to change the future of my marriage.”
“Me (40’s M[ale]) and my wife (30’s F[emale]) have been together 17 years.”
“We support each other well and have (mostly) resolved the petty disputes long ago.”
“Except for one…”
“More Detail: We discovered early in our relationship that we operate best with very clear roles in our household.”
“She picks up the house throughout the week, and I take off early every Friday and clean the entire house.”
“I get to be kind of a messy dude for five days a week, and she walks into a perfectly clean house, sometimes with fresh flowers in the vase at the door.”
“We support each other on these tasks when needed, like, I’ll help clear dishes and the kitchen if she cooks during the week.”
“She will fold all the laundry I have washed on Friday if I do not get to it.”
cooks during the week. She will fold all the laundry I have washed on Friday if I do not get to it.
“My intent of this preface is to let the reader know that we genuinely support each other…now…”
But while the OP’s wife seemed to be happy with their arrangement, she was less than pleased at how he was handling one particular duty.
“AITA: Part of my weekly cleaning on Friday is giving our two dogs a bath.”
“It’s normally my last task, and I’m rushing before she gets home from work.”
“Admittedly, because I’m in a rush to have the house and dogs clean before she gets home, I will completely ignore other options and use her shampoo.”
“Also her good towels.”
“Her nice shampoo.’
“It’s not the $50 bottle that some people use, but I’m willing to admit it’s pretty good stuff.”
“She hates the fact I do this.”
“I tell her that she could always pick it up at one of her trips out during the week, or I will personally go pick it up for her, if needed.”
“I wash the laundry, so I can ensure the towels go through an extra wash if they still smell like dog.”
“She says it’s the principle: men have no idea how much concern it may cause a woman to be close to running out of their shampoo.’
“Again, first world problems.”
“My wife reviewed this post, and agrees to let Reddit decide the direction we go on this argument.”
“TLDR: When washing our two dogs, I’m going to use my wife’s nice shampoo and our good towels.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was firmly in agreement that the OP was by all means the a**hole for washing his dogs with his wife’s shampoo.
Just about everyone agreed it was not all right for the OP to use his wife’s shampoo without asking her, regardless of how expensive it is.
“If you are willing to go out and buy your wife a replacement bottle of her good shampoo, why not just go out and buy dog shampoo instead?”
“And while you’re out buying the dog shampoo, why not also pick up a few towels that can be designated for the dogs after their baths?”
“Seems kind of passive aggressive that you are going out of your way to purposely use your wife’s good shampoo and towels on the dogs because she specifically asked you not to do that.”
“Also, do you ever use your shampoo and your towels on the dogs?”
“Why not?”- prairiemountainzen.
“Are you seriously telling me you bathe your dogs with your wife’s nice shampoo?”
“Just because you can’t be arsed to get dog shampoo?”
“Her shampoo could cost a dollar and it would not change the verdict.”
“She has asked you to respect her things and you refused YTA.”-Candy4Mandy.
“There is absolutely no reason that you MUST use your wife’s shampoo/towels for the dogs every week (especially since she’s asked you not to), other than to deliberately piss her off/make some sort of power play.”
“How hard is it to reach for some other shampoo?”
“I’d love to know what your wife thinks of the verdict so far!’- banjo_fandango.
“Why aren’t you using your own shampoo, if the issue is that you don’t have dog shampoo?”
“Women’s shampoo is (most times) more expensive than men’s (yay pink tax) – why are you wasting it on the dogs?”
“And also – why don’t you have dog shampoo???”
“And stop using good towels on the dogs! “
“The fact that you are calling them ‘her good towels’ means you know she doesn’t want you using them, and that you have other options.”
“You just choose not to go with the other options.”
“You’re choosing the option that you know upsets your wife.”
Many pointed out how human shampoo shouldn’t be used on dogs for numerous reasons.
“Why your wife’s?”
“Why not yours?”
“I imagine it s just as easy to grab yours? “
“So why be so petty as to grab her shampoo?”
“Because it is petty to always use hers and never yours.”
“That takes deliberate choice and not just grabbing the closest over and over again.”
“Plus you are likely drying out your dog’s skin.”
“Dog shampoo won’t completely strip the oils from their skin.”
“And using the good towels?”
“Go get dog shampoo and put it where you wash the dogs.”
“Take two towels and label them dog towels.”
“Then get some new towels to replace them.”-katamino.
“It’s one thing if you ran out of dog shampoo and didn’t realize until the last minute so you used what you had on hand.”
“But this a repeated occurrence, you said yourself that you are ignoring other options.”
“And why? “
“Why is it easier to use your wife’s shampoo/towels than dog shampoo/towels?”
“Is it location?”
“Then move the dog shampoo/towels to they’re easier to grab.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“And human shampoo can cause problems for dog skin when used repeatedly so yet another reason not to use your wife’s shampoo.”- strikingfirefly.
“Aside from the fact that dog shampoo is better for your dogs’ skin, you know this bothers your wife so why do you feel the need to do it?”- NeeliSilverleaf.
“Buy dog shampoo and a couple of towels explicitly for the dogs.”
“Human shampoo isn’t even good for dogs skin and coat.”- Samanthas_Stitching.
“If I were your wife, I’d start using your toothbrush to scrub the toilet, because same thing right?”
“What if she started using your underwear to clean the stove?”
“It’s cool, she’s gonna wash em twice.”
“I bet your best suit is great for dusting the ceiling fans.”- AdministrativeFee153.
Upon reading all the negative comments addressed towards him, a repentant OP promised to do better going forward.
“I broke one of the unwritten rules of Reddit: never post something at all controversial and walk away.”
“This blew up!”
“And also dissected.”
“I will respond to the Mai. points I have reviewed so far:”
“For starters, I’m officially the a**hole.”
“My wife will receive a gift basket from me full of new towels and several bottles of her favorite shampoo as a small act of contrition.”
“I mentioned in my post about other options, and these would be your typical items.”
“We have dog shampoo and old towels that I generally use.”
“Our dogs sometimes just get rinses, other times medicated baths, and sometimes the regular shampoo.”
“They are 12 and 10 years old, and we have never noticed any real difference.”
“To confirm, there is no spite or malice behind my actions.”
“This is at the end of a long day working and then rushing home before she gets off work to scrub, vacuum, and wash all the things.”
“For years I have run to the store for anything she needs.”
“I wouldn’t leave her in the lurch.”
The OP also expressed his pleasure at the amusement his post gave to many Redditors.
“To the many commenters who got a laugh out of this I thank you.”
“We posted this too while laughing, and me continuing to half-heartedly defend it.”
However funny she may have found the situation, one imagines the OP’s wife is breathing a sigh of relief that she won’t need to worry about her shampoo being used on her dogs any more.