We’ve all heard horror stories about mothers-in-law and what they’re capable of when they don’t approve of a relationship.
But their grandchildren are often exempt from the treatment their parents receive, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
But that was not true for Redditor Roseonthefloor’s wife and future child.
When he found out his mother had forced his pregnant wife to sleep on the floor of her home during an emergency, the Original Poster (OP) began to realize just how much his mother likely disapproved of his relationship.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for getting mad at my mom for making my girlfriend sleep on the floor?”
The OP noticed a huge change in his mother recently.
“My girlfriend, ‘Rose,’ and I have been together for 4 years and she is 5 months pregnant with our first child.”
“My mum seemed to really like Rose (or at the very least tolerated her), but after we announced that we were expecting, something definitely switched in her.”
“She has become extremely rude and disrespectful towards my girlfriend. She makes passive-aggressive comments at every chance she gets.”
“I’ve had to take a step back from my mother until she fixes her behavior.”
The OP’s girlfriend recently needed his family’s help.
“Rose had gone to visit her family who lives far out of town. It was a very last-minute trip, and she drove herself to the destination and back.”
“Unfortunately, at around 6 pm, her car broke down and she was forced to pull over.”
“Fortunately, my brother, ‘Chris,’ who’s great with cars and lives about an hour and a half from where Rose was stranded, was willing to pick her up and sorted everything out.”
“I was out of the country, so I’m grateful that my brother sorted everything out for her.”
The situation was better than expected between the women, or so it seemed.
“Chris moved back in with my mum about a year ago.”
“Obviously, the situation wasn’t the best, especially considering the tension between Rose and my mom that exists for no particular reason, but I hoped my mum could put her pettiness aside for at least a night.”
“It was too late for Chris to drive Rose back home, so my brother told her that he would drive her back tomorrow morning.”
“It was an arrangement that my mum seems to not like, but one that she managed to keep her mouth shut about (my girlfriend tells me).”
“Rose helped prepare dinner, wash up, and actually engaged in a decent conversation with my mum for the first time in ages.”
“However, they mostly avoided each other. Chris went to bed earlier, leaving my mum and Rose alone.”
The OP’s mother’s hosting etiquette was questionable.
“My mum lives in a two-bedroom apartment and since both bedrooms were taken, Rose assumed that she would be sleeping on the couch.”
“She apparently assumed wrong.”
“My mum gave Rose the thinnest blanket ever and basically screamed at her, telling her that she had to sleep on the floor to not ‘ruin her couch.'”
“She told Rose to ‘make do’ with the pillows on the couch and the blanket that provides zero warmth.”
“Rose thought about protesting but ultimately decided against it.”
“According to Rose, my mum kept opening her door to check if she was sleeping on the couch, so she couldn’t even try to sleep on the couch.”
The OP lashed out at his mother for her behavior.
“At 5 am, Chris found Rose on the couch and let her sleep on his bed. He ended up telling me, but told me to not make a ‘big fuss out of it.'”
“I did the exact opposite.”
“I called my mum, very angry, and told her that she was disrespecting her so badly.”
“She tried to defend herself by saying ‘that she didn’t harm the baby,’ and that ‘it’s okay for pregnant women to sleep on the floor.'”
“I refused to hear any of it.”
“Chris agreed with me but told me that I shouldn’t make it a fight. I feel like I’m losing my mind.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the mother was showing her true colors now that the girlfriend was permanent.
“I’m so glad you took up for your partner. I see too many times where someone makes an excuse for their family’s bad behavior.”
“Your mom obviously thinks your girlfriend either got pregnant on purpose to ‘trap’ you, or she has a very old-fashioned idea that a girl getting pregnant before marriage is ‘loose.'”
“Either way, making a pregnant woman sleep on a floor when a couch is there is inexcusable.”
“Your brother obviously also assumed she would be sleeping on the couch or he would’ve given up his bed for the whole night, but he’s also saying just ignore the problem.”
“Your mom should be ashamed, but you need to speak with her about this attitude change and let her know if it doesn’t stop, you can’t continue to subject Rose to her hostility. NTA.” – kristent225
“NTA.”
“Your mom is so out of line and her behavior is appalling. I would go no contact with her after this if I were you because the amount of disrespect heaped on your pregnant girlfriend is abhorrent.” – Leimana76
“NTA.”
“Listen closely. Your Mom is feeling threatened because there is another woman about to become a Mom in the family. This feels like her role is being taken away and will lead to worse behavior. You have to have a zero-tolerance policy for this.”
“Sit your Mom down and tell her that she will always be your Mom. Also tell her that if she continues to treat your girlfriend this way, it will damage her relationship with you, so she needs to knock it off.”
“Good luck, O.P. and be firm in your boundaries.” – AwkwardAquarian
“NTA.”
“Setting aside the discussion about pregnant women sleeping on the floor and whether the mother should have offered a bed.”
“Your mother was checking on her to make sure she didn’t dare ‘ruin the couch’?! Stand up against that now because that treatment is not acceptable whether she’s pregnant or not.” – opinionswelcomehere
“You underestimated misogyny. Guys having premarital sex is expected – they can’t help themselves because all men want all the sex all the time.”
“But a woman is not supposed to have premarital sex, otherwise they are a slut. If Rose was a proper lady, she wouldn’t have had premarital sex or at the least would have insisted on marriage right away or would have quietly gone away to deal with it.”
“There’s also the chance that the mom thinks Rose is trying to trap OP.”
“All this is bulls**t reasoning, but there are still a lot of people that think this way.” – Mrs_Marshmellow
“The one brother is back at home, OP has had this girlfriend for awhile, but until she got pregnant, it was at least neutral.”
“Now that she is pregnant, that is a forever thing. Up until that point, the girlfriend was never a threat.”
“I’d think if mom had no idea or expectation of premarital sex in her son’s relationship or didn’t approve of a baby out of wedlock, she would be pressuring OP and girlfriend to marry before the baby comes.”
“I think this is about driving the girlfriend away before the baby comes.”
“Mom either thinks girlfriend is out to take her son’s money or for some reason thinks the baby isn’t his or some made up scenario. but I think she mostly doesn’t want to give up her son to another woman.” – wifeofpsy
Others went to a darker place, thinking the mother was trying to harm her grandchild.
“Her first words to defend herself were ‘I didn’t try to harm the baby’ when no one had mentioned harming the baby?”
“Sounds like she’s trying to make your girlfriend miscarry. Why else would she instantly jump to that? NTA.” – LavenderSage013
“It definitely sounds like OP’s mom is really bent out of shape by the pregnancy, and wanted to make the girl physically suffer. Insane or evil.” – nappingthedream
“She made a pregnant woman sleep on the floor AND checked in on her multiple times in the night to make sure she wasn’t sleeping on the couch!”
“She sacrificed her own sleep to make sure OP’s partner was as uncomfortable as possible, what an awful human being.” – FrozenYogurt0420
“Checking in on her throughout the night, she was reveling in her cruel handiwork. She was enjoying seeing the misery she caused to the woman who is pregnant with her grandchild.” – Pinkyandtheothers
While the OP’s brother didn’t see eye-to-eye with him about confronting their mother on her behavior against the OP’s girlfriend, the subReddit had other ideas.
Not only was forcing the girlfriend to sleep on the floor incredibly petty, and potentially dangerous to her and the baby, but it was a bad sign for things to come.
If the OP didn’t deal with this now, it would only invite his mother to continue mistreating his girlfriend, if not progressively worse and worse.