It’s hard enough for a teenager to come out as trans when so many people are intolerant, whether that’s vocal or felt silently.
But that battle can be even more steeply uphill if the teen’s loved ones don’t provide a truly massive amount of support while navigating the declaration of their identity.
One parent found themselves in a tough spot when some family drama cropped up surrounding his son’s gender identity.
The father, known as Only-Designer-4682 on the site, explained it all in a post to the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP) explained who the key players were right in the post’s title.
“AITA for not standing by my wife when she was lecturing our son?”
OP then began with a run down of the whole family landscape.
“so me [47-year-old male] and my wife [46-year-old male] have four kids [9-year-old female, 11-year-old female, 13-year-old male, 17-year-old male], and one of them is a trans guy [17-year-male].”
“my wife hasn’t been the most supportive, we are working on it and I am fully on my son’s side. (ik she is TA for this but this isn’t what my question is about)”
And recently, a rather terse exchange occurred.
“today my son came down wearing boxers and a hoodie, my wife started to complain about how it’s inappropriate to walk around like that, saying that it’s too revealing.”
“she told him to put some pyjamas on.”
OP’s son made his response clear.
“a few minutes my son came down in a pair of pink pyjama shorts my wife brought for him. she turns to him and tells him that he looks much better now.”
“he laughs and tells her ‘that’s weird, these shorts are a good five centimetres shorter than my boxers’ and had a huge smirk on his face.”
But OP suddenly found himself in a tough spot.
“my wife started complaining about his attitude and turned to me to get me to say something, I just told her that he’s right.”
“she’s now pissed at me for not being a united front for our kids and encouraging that kind of disrespectful behaviour. so AITA?”
OP closed with an edit to explain how unusual the exchange was.
“EDIT: just wanted to add that this is the first time my wife has taken issue with this, it’s not uncommon for my daughters to lounge about in underwear and t-shirts. (also for those asking, there is no slit or hole in his boxers)”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Nearly all of the Redditors who read OP’s post were on his side. In fact, many thanked him profusely.
“NTA. And good on you for supporting your son. Plus, his initial clothes are unisex sleepwear. Your wife is just being petty.” — brownies671
“NTA And as a trans dude, thank you for supporting your son” — DemonicSymphony