When a woman delivers her first baby, most husbands—or significant others—might be inclined to shower them with gifts, like flowers or balloons.
But sometimes, such a token of appreciation can be less important depending on certain circumstances.
Redditor tttHROQwaway is a 27-year-old woman who was furious about something her husband did on the day she gave birth to their firstborn.
She visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for screaming at my husband for buying me flowers?”
The Original Poster (OP) asked readers to hear her out despite how bad the title sounded.
“So last week my husband (27m) and I (27f) had a baby boy. My husband was away on business and the baby came early (only 2 weeks before the specified date don’t worry).”
“It was important to me that he would be there for the birth. It was hard contacting him because he was out with his phone off with some work friends post-meeting.”
“As soon as my SIL (his twin, 27 f[emale]) was able to contact him I was a few hours along. He made it there but stopped by a nearby florist for some flowers while I was giving him his first child.”
“HE MISSED IT.”
“He was in a line and did not think to forget about the gesture and be with me (despite him knowing that it was what I wanted to have him by my side).”
“He arrived while I was passing the placenta but instead of even bringing me the flowers he went to such lengths to give me, he went to see his son while handing the flowers to SIL to give to me.”
“Apparently, he wanted to ‘wait until the grossness was done’ to go see me.”
“When he finally came to see me I gave him an earful, his excuse was that it was tradition for the birth of a son in his family, to get flowers for the lady as thanks. That only made me ten times as livid.”
“I asked him what was the tradition for daughters, he had no answer.”
“I have tried talking about this but this past week he has slept on the couch and only talked to me about baby things, I don’t know what was wrong with my complaints.”
“From his coldness, I might as well have killed his son as opposed to given life to his son.”
“I made this post because IDK anymore, and earlier today he told me that I screamed at him for ‘basically getting me flowers’, he told me that I was shaping up to be a fine entitled parent.”
“Am I The Asshole?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The judges of Reddit weighed in with their thoughts.
“‘As thanks?’ What are you, a vending machine?” – Squinky75
“Anything centered around ‘giving men a son’ is so gross to me. And he actually avoided your birth to avoid the ‘grossness.’ Are you f*king kidding me? He views you as a broodmare.” – basilobs
“You yourself talk about ‘giving him his first child’ instead of having your first child.”
“I’m guessing you’re both quite conservative? There’s a ‘birth of a son’ tradition. He’s ‘away on business’ a lot.”
“What exactly did you expect from him? And did you two agree on that? Because it sounds like you’re both into the whole 1950s thing. Well.. You’re getting the 1950s thing.” – Timmetie
“There are plenty of women who DEMAND a ‘push present’ from their SO as a thank-you for giving birth. If he hadn’t been focused on the grossness then this could have been chalked up to a new dad being an excited doofus.”
“This guy doesn’t have any excuses.” – GlitterDrunk
“NTA but your husband is for the following reasons…”
“Who turns their phone off while out with friends when their wife is pregnant?”
“Even if you could explain away the time at the florist because he wasn’t thinking or that the excitement of having a son led him to see the baby first, to turn to you and say he was ‘waiting the til the grossness was done.’”
“What about being there for you? You’re still in the process of giving birth. Doesn’t seem like he expressed any real gratitude to you for the birth of his son.”
“After you get home and you are a new mother dealing with a newborn, hormones, recovery he’s giving you the cold shoulder.”
“He called you an entitled parent after you did the most selfless thing, grew a baby and brought it to life.”
“You need a partner who supports and values you. If you can get some space from him by going to your parents, I would suggest it. Get some distance and then explain why you are hurt by his actions.” – HotAudience6110
“I’m so completely confused by his actions and reactions. You’re certainly NTA.”
“‘Wait until the grossness is done?’ How’s he gonna handle changing a diaper? Or does he think that all of that is only your responsibility?” – Fireneji
“NTA. Your husband missed the birth on purpose. He confirmed it when he said he was going to ‘wait until the grossness was done.'”
“No attentive father turns his phone off while out with friends when his wife is two weeks from her due date. He is sexist and regressive and not a good partner.”
“I’m sorry that you’re realizing this now that you have a baby together.” – Ok_Sympathy6395
“He needs to grow up. Nothing of that was grossness and he’s a spoiled brat for saying that and calling YOU entitled, op.”
“And now giving you the silent treatment is just further childishness. Also who tf leaves their phone off all day that close to due date? FFS” – Ol_Pasta
Many Redditors continued expressing their disapproval of the OP’s husband for deliberately missing out on witnessing the delivery of their baby boy.
This Redditor pretty much summed up what a lot of others on the thread were probably already thinking, which was:
“The 50’s called and they want him back.” – Hermiona1