The global pandemic, unfortunately, saw many lives either completely shattered or severely inconvenienced.
But in spite of it all, people are still trying their best to move on and make the most out of their previously upended lives.
Redditor randomness57317 is a 28-year-old mother who–in spite of being in a difficult place, financially–did the best she could for her eight-year-old son’s birthday.
While the party she threw appeared to be a success, what she was confronted with after the fact proved otherwise.
Still struggling with self-imposed guilt six months after the birthday party, she visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for not inviting my kid’s whole class to his birthday party?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I am a mother of a wonderful 8 years old son. This whole thing happened last April, but I am still getting complaints. So here I am asking strangers for a judgement on the internet.”
“So last year was my kid’s first year in ‘big kids’ school’ like he calls it, since his first grade coincided with the pandemic. We are not in the best place financially; like most families, our consumer debt piled on and we are throwing every spare cent at it.”
“So when it was time to throw him a party, I only invited 5 of his classmates, the ones he considered his friends. For the others I sent 2 dozen cupcakes and juice boxes to class.”
“The invites were delivered to their houses and not in front of the other kids.”
“Like I said, money was tight so I got creative. I made 9 small cakes (box cakes, vanilla, chocolate and funfetti), buttercream in different colours. Also made big sugar cookies and different coloured frosting and sprinkles.”
“And finally bought tortillas, made pizza sauce and had a variety of toppings. I asked that the kids bring swimsuits and water guns.”
“We had a make your own pizza station for lunch, then they played with their water guns. Then they decorated their cakes and finally their cookies to take home with them. That was a Saturday.”
“Well the next Monday, the kids would not stop raving about how fun the party was, how it was the best birthday party ever. The other kids were not happy to not be invited.”
“At pick up Tuesday, a couple moms confronted me about not inviting their kids. I said that I am sorry, but it was a small party for his close friends only. They kept complaining about me excluding their kids.”
“I didn’t take it seriously then, but now it is a new school year, almost 6 month later, and I am still getting the occasional comment thrown at me. So AITA?”
Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors saw the OP as not the a**hole here.
“NTA. You did everything right. You sent treats for the class, you sent invitations to private homes rather than inviting kids at school, and it sounds like you gave your son a fantastic, creative party on a shoestring budget. You’re a good mom.”
“You can’t control that the party was such fun that the kids still wanted to talk about it on Monday, and you are under no obligation to invite everyone in the class over to your home.” – girlandagun
“NTA. I wouldn’t invite the whole class either. They loved it because it was different. And if nobody’s told you of late, you’re an awesome mum xx” – angethorp
“I have never in my life had everything I wanted. I highly doubt you have either.”
“I have always had everything I’ve needed though, and it sounds like your son does too, and that’s what is important.”
“You do not need to fill every desire to be a good parent, in fact you’ll probably raise a brat if you do. You need to fulfil basic needs and give them the opportunity to make the best of their future.”
“Don’t beat yourself up for not having designer clothes, latest console, holidays abroad… no one needs them to survive or thrive.” – Astra_Trillian
“This sounds like the coolest party ever! I doubt your son feels like that… I know it does to you but he loves you either way and it’s usually the smaller things they end up remembering!”
“I was going to do a huge Billy Beez party for my daughter’s 9th birthday with 10 of her friends, then a hotel swimming party but when I actually started planning it, it would have cost around $900, which is excessive.”
“In the end, we decided on a sleepover with just a few girls (some couldn’t come) and we set up little stations – beads for jewelry making, Orbeez play, coloring, makeup and nails, plus tons of snacks in cute little bowls organized by the color of the snacks.”
“We also did cupcake decorating, walked to the nearby sprinklers… all for probably less than $200 with pizza included. They stayed up all night giggling and my daughter still talks about it regularly.”
“Don’t beat yourself up; you sound like a great mom! 💗” – ylliimme
“That’s the way we used to do it. I think the expectations nowadays are insane.”
“I think OP’s good, because the invitations weren’t given at school. The ‘whole class’ thing is unrealistic for many parents, although I understand the sentiment (to emotionally protect ‘that kid’ who’s never invited to anything).”
“Maybe the parents of the children might want to have a talk with them about not shoving it in the faces of the kids who weren’t invited though.” – Pale_Cranberry1502
“NTA. You invited FIVE children. I am honestly boggled at any parents that think it’s okay to confront you about the fact their child was not invited. That is absurd honestly.” – zukolover96
‘They kept complaining about me excluding their kids.’
“Seriously, WTH is going on the last decade or so?! NTA OP, I blame reality television and educators not wanting to deal with jealousy (the whole-if you invite a group of people while at school you HAVE to invite the whole class or it’s unfair did NOT exist when I was in elementary.)”
“It’s crazy. Should have asked them for their bank account info because you feel excluded from their finances.” – Throwawayhater3343
“Teacher here. Don’t blame it on the educators, we do what we can and what we’re allowed. We go above and beyond and have to listen to the complaints/verbal abuse of these parents as if we are both customer service reps AND therapists.”
“It is literally the one thing I can say ‘Not my job!’ about – dealing with parent-on-parent drama. And we get paid sh*t for it and still get crapped on. This is solely on the parents (and I guess some TV and outside influences? Maybe?)” – UniqueUserName_93
“Yeah, this is ridiculous, a party is clearly for people’s friends, if these mothers want every kid invited then they need to pay for the financial cost for a party every time someone has a birthday and then include everyone NTA.” – TechnicianPerfect1
“In the real world, not everyone’s going to get invited to everything. While it’s never a fun lesson to learn, it’s better to learn it early in life than having a sense of entitlement that results in you acting like the parents in this post.” – Heavy_Sand5228
“NTA for throwing your son a wholesome and creative party. You’re not obligated to invite the whole class.” – Used-Atmosphere2422
“Exactly. OP gave out the invites privately, sent treats to the class for the other kids and only invited 5 kids from the class. OP didn’t just not invite 1 or 2 students. The other parents are acting entitled and they can kick rocks.”
“….It’s not my bday nor am I a child, but I now low key wanna play with water guns, make pizzas and decorate cakes this weekend 😂” – Electrical-Date-3951
“Unless im missing something, NTA AT ALL. You have every right to determine the budget and activities for your kid and his close friends.”
“The moms who are b*tching need to grow up and teach their children the world doesn’t revolve around them. Good on you for coming up with such a fun party day that the kiddos were raving about it! Their mothers should take notes instead of making you feel guilty!” – LuxSerafina
“NTA. If you’d invited 28 or 29 out of 30 kids in a class and just excluded one or two then that would be mean. But you had such a small number that it’s obvious this wasn’t about excluding anyone, it was just a very small gathering.”
“That’s normal and you did nothing wrong. It’s a shame you’re being treated so nastily over it.” – PinkGinFairy
“NTA. These parents are setting terrible examples for their children. Not everybody is invited to sit at every table – nor should they expect to be. It is perfectly okay to have small birthday parties with the kids your son considers his close friends.” – NUT-me-SHELL
Overall, Redditors praised the OP for being resourceful and throwing such a creative and memorable party for her son, and they thought the parents who took issue over having their kids left out was an indication of their entitlement.