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Mom Refuses To Tell Topless Neighbor To Cover Up After Sons Spy On Her

by juandiegojr -

Neighbors can be an issue no matter where you live.

And sometimes YOU are the neighbor who is the issue.

But issues can be fixed, right?

Everybody needs to just be respectful or drama can ensue.

Case in point…

Redditor AmIWrong-AITA wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for punishing my sons and not the woman?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I’m going to try to keep this short since frankly – I’m exhausted.”

“Any questions can and will be answered in the comments.”

“Long story short, my family (35 M[ale], 12m, 10m) and I ( 32 F[emale]) just recently moved into a new apartment complex.”

“Our unit is at the very back of the building, at the back of the property, so behind us is just a wooded area, nobody lives there.”

“At the very back of our unit and the one across from ours is a small balcony that faces out towards this wooded area.”

“Because of the way the building is constructed, you can’t see into another person’s balcony unless you go to the stairs and lean over the railing – otherwise the wall blocks you.”

“Across from our unit is a family of four – a young-looking mother, her husband, and their two children who are both under the age of two.”

“I haven’t had the chance to go introduce myself because I think one of their babies is a newborn, and honestly mama seems exhausted.”

“Anyway, a couple of nights ago, I made a horrific discovery.”

“Went outside to call the boys in for dinner and found them both with their upper bodies flung over the railing, staring into our neighbor’s balcony.”

“I grab both by their pants and ask them just what they think they’re doing, and that’s when I see it.”

“From their vantage point, they could see straight into the neighbor lady’s balcony, where she was sat completely topless, with underwear on listening to headphones.”

“I. Was. Livid. Not with her, but with the boys.”

“The way I see it, she’s on her own personal property, where no one is SUPPOSED to be able to see, and not drawing any attention to herself.”

“Plus, if she’s breastfeeding, I get not having a top or bra on.”

“It’s tedious to remove every few hours and for every feeding in between.”

“And who wears pants in their own house?”

“Anyway, I digress.”

“I pulled the boys in the house and took away their video games and phones until further notice, and told my husband immediately when he got home.”

“But surprisingly, HE was mad at ME!”

“Saying boys would be boys and the lady should have some decency to wear clothes outside, and asked me to speak to her about it.”

“I ripped him a new one and spent the night on the couch, after which he apologized but the boys still seem upset with me.”

“AITA for punishing them, but not saying anything to the neighbor?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA, good for you!”

“Your husband is out of line and frankly acting in a manner that could give your sons the idea that it’s okay to just ‘get’ from women without respect for personal boundaries whether it’s looking or worse.”

“A plus parenting from you and thank you for respecting your neighbor!”  ~ hallownest_undead

“This is an extremely important point here.”

“If they could just glance out of their window and easily see her, I might say something gently (and non judgementally) to the neighbor like “just so you know, my boy’s bedroom looks into your living room.”

“But as it stands the neighbor had an expectation of privacy that these boys invaded.”

“When talking to the boys I would focus on the expectation of privacy as well.”

“It is completely normal for boys to want to see boobs.”

“The important lesson here is not that the desire is wrong.”

“It’s that we should all be able to be naked in our own homes without other people looking.” ~ melodypowers

“Yeah, it’s not like she was laying on a beach chair in the middle of the parking lot.”

“She was on her private balcony that faces away from other people.”

“Like… the boys had to literally hop up onto the railing and jut their entire upper halves up over the edge to spy on her.”

“And that’s exactly what they were doing. SPYING. And it’s CREEPY.”

“My male cousins (3 of them all from 11-14) got caught by me spying on two almost 20-something ladies who were sunbathing in their hedged-off backyard that was diagonal from the cousin’s house.”

“I found them in the attic watching the women from the popped out vent up there.”

“I didn’t know what they were doing until I pushed them aside (ignoring their pleas for me not to) and looked out myself.”

“You could see both women and they were in practically nothing and you shouldn’t have been able to see them normally.”

“I told my cousins they were being little creeps and they should be ashamed.”

“The eldest one said it ‘wasn’t a big deal!’ because the women ‘didn’t know they could see them.'”

“So you know what I did?”

“I marched all three of them over there and made them knock on the door and apologize to those ladies’ faces.”

“They were humiliated I could tell.”

“Their faces were red and they couldn’t even look these women in the eye.”

“Little peeping toms like that are all self-righteous until they’ve got to come face to face with the adults they’ve been peeping on.” ~ REDDIT

“This ‘boys will be boys’ is mostly the mild excuse for sexual assault or violence towards other human beings.”

“I had a twelve year old that slapped my butt while I was working.”

“I politely told him to stop, but after he continued I had to hold his hands and had to say it more firmly.”

“His mother went nuts.”

“After she calmed down I tried to explain again what he did and that it makes me uncomfortable.”

“She was like: ‘Oh shut up you dang sl*t. Boys will be boys. Just bare it like a *ucking grown-up.'”

“Luckily my Boss was a really nice guy who instantly came while she was screaming at me and kicked her and her son out because of ‘inappropriate behavior.'”  ~ JustLetBe

“OP, your husband apologizing may not be enough!!”

“There’s an underlying issue here… if someone bought fancy new jewelry and their house got broken into specifically for the thieves to steal the jewelry, would your husband say they shouldn’t have bought it?”

“Also you have done the right thing regarding your sons.”

“BUT you have need to worry about them turning into entitled teenagers who have a victim-shamey-and-Blamey attitude.”

“Currently they might be reading the situation as ‘this woman was sitting outside naked so obviously we were looking, what did she expect, and then our mom yelled at us.”

“When our dad defended us, she got even angrier. Women are insane!'”  ~ REDDIT

“NTA!! And exactly this… Great parenting OP!!”

“That woman is allowed to walk naked in her apartment, and your husband needs to respect that and teach your boys that there is nothing wrong with that and that they should respect her.” ~ meithe

“Totally agree! NTA!”

“Boys will be boys isn’t an excuse, boys shouldn’t be raised to be skeevy little peeping toms they shouldn’t be encouraged or taught that doing that is okay.”

“Spying on women is creepy. She was in the privacy of her space and they invaded that uninvited by her, she had her headphones on she probably didn’t even realize they were spying on her.”

“She was probably just relaxing after being a new mama all day giving herself and body a well-deserved break.”

“They invaded her privacy.”

“Your man and your boys would have gotten a spanking and lesson of being respectful of women and other humans’ privacy.”

“Boys will be boys, and eventually grow into men and they will do what they were taught to do.”

“You did an amazing job!”

“You need a damn trophy for being an awesome mom!”

“Your man on the other hand… he needs to learn not to undermine you, imagine if someone did that to you, how would he feel about that?” ~silly-octopus-30

“NTA. ‘Boys will be boys,’ I’m sorry, what century is your husband living in?”

“Like you said, that woman was on her own property.”

“Not only are you NTA for doing some good parenting, you’re also NTA because you didn’t sexualize this woman.”

“Your husband, on the other hand, could afford to learn a bit.” ~ hedgeh0gburrow

“NTA. I would have reacted the same way.”

“I would also have a long talk with my son about privacy and gender equality.”

“And engorgement hurts.”

“Especially at the tail end of breastfeeding.” ~ April_Of_Wonderland

Well OP, sounds like Reddit is in your corner.

Punishing kids is part of the job.

Not a great part of the job, but a part of it.

Sounds like you and the hubby need to have a chat about discipline though.