Buying presents for children can be a more difficult endeavor than it might seem.
Obviously, one wants to get them something which will make them happy.
The vital thing one must remember, however, is that children share a home with their parents, who might not always appreciate something loud, messy or which might influence them with bad ideas.
Should the item bring their children joy, some parents will suck it up and buy earplugs or clean up the mess it leaves.
Others, however, might not have as much patience.
Such was the case for the sister-in-law (SIL) of Redditor Bright-Trick7886, who disposed of a present the original poster (OP) gave to her daughter for a somewhat surprising reason.
A reason the OP found completely ridiculous, and wasn’t afraid to say so to her SIL’s face.
Having second thoughts about her behavior, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for calling my SIL ridiculous because she threw out the gifts I bought for my niece?”
The OP shared her surprise to find the present she gave her niece was missing, and her SIL’s questionable excuse for disposing of it.
“I (20 F[emale]) have an older brother (31 M[ale]) who is married to his wife (31 F).”
“They have a daughter Evie (10 F).”
“Evie’s birthday was last month.”
“She’s obsessed with Minecraft at the moment, so I got her a Minecraft themed cup and a Minecraft poster for her birthday.”
“Evie seemed really happy with these gifts.”
“I visited their home last week and noticed that the poster and cup were nowhere to be seen.”
“I asked my SIL if Evie didn’t like Minecraft anymore.”
“She admitted that she threw out my gifts because they didn’t match the rest of her home’s ‘colour scheme’.”
“I was shocked, and said that I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous.”
“My SIL said it’s her home and she can do what she likes, and that I’m not entitled to see the gifts I bought in their home or see Evie enjoy them.”
“I told my SIL that’s such a waste of a perfectly good poster and a perfectly good cup, and that she’s irrational.”
“SIL started raging at me and told me to stop telling her what to do in her own home, and said that if I don’t like it, I can stop buying gifts for her and her family.”
“I left shortly afterwards.”
“SIL told my brother what happened and he told me I’m being horrible to his wife over nothing.”
“I tried to tell my side of the story and he said I’m making excuses for piss poor behavior on my part.”
“I highly doubt my SIL is covering up Evie not liking them.”
“When her birthday was coming up, all she’d ask for is Minecraft themed things.”
“Just to clarify, my brother and SIL definitely aren’t having financial problems and sold the items.”
“They are actually quite well off.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for confronting her SIL for throwing out her niece’s gift.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s SIL’s rationale for throwing out her daughter’s present was ridiculous and insensitive, with many expressing their sympathy for the OP’s niece.
“Based on what is written NTA.”
“Does every coffee mug she owns color match every room in her house?”
“This is not dinner ware you bought for an adult, you bought a poster and a cup for a 10 yo.”
“I think you need to go petty revenge and stop buying gifts for her family and instead, take Evie out for her birthday going forward.”
“What you bought was normal for a 10 yo and your brother and SIL reaction was absolutely nuts.”
“However, your brother may have received a different story than what is here so it’s possible he is reacting to false information.”- ElephantNecessary366
“Based on what I’ve read, this kind of sounds like she has more of an issue with you rather than an issue with what you bought your niece isn’t matching the rest of the house, and you were right you’re SIL is being ridiculous, maybe she views you with some sort of threat or something, I don’t know.”
“It’s super weird that they’d throw away their own daughters presents because it ‘didn’t match the decor’.”
“You spent money on that and it literally was wasted.”
“SIL could have at least returned it to you for regifting if you wanted or to pitch it yourself.”
‘It sucks for that child but I wouldn’t buy them anything ever again and quote what SIL told you as the exact reason why if they ever ask.”
“‘I’m sorry, I don’t have enough money for it to literally be thrown in the trash immediately after I spent it’.”- Airydin
“Someone is going to be very shocked when her daughter moves out at 18 and wants nothing to do with her.”
“It’s a silly thing for your SIL to do.”
“They are Evie’s gifts, not your SIL.”
“So does every gift need need to match the home color scheme?”
“Will the SIL throw away gifts that are given to her and her husband if they don’t match the house?”
“I bet Evie was upset that her gift was thrown away.”- luvduvbunny
“Invest in an experience with your niece instead which is something a controlling parent can’t take away.”
“Apologize for the incident to keep the family happy.”
“They’re super in the wrong but it’s not worth compromising your relationship with your niece over principles with her parents.”- russellomega
“She’s one of them people with a ‘insta perfect’ house isn’t she.”
“She IS being ridiculous.”
“A child’s gift shouldn’t need to match the color scheme of their home.”
“Cups go in cupboards, no one sees them.”
“Poster on kids wall?”
“Well who is going in her room?”
“Does she give guided tours?”
“Can’t imagine telling a 10yr old, sorry”
“Poster clashes with the muted tones of the curtains, it has to go!’
“And not expect to be called ridiculous.”- HunterDangerous1366
“NTA but tell your niece she can keep her presents at your house.”- Alternative_Year_340
“That’s weird as f*ck and mean to the kid.”- purple_yosher
“I don’t understand how your brother can say that you treated his wife horribly by inquiring about the gifts that you bought for their daughter and expressing upset that they threw them out.”
“Don’t buy any gifts for them anymore.”
“Cut them out of your life.”
“SIL gets to say what goes up on the walls of her house.”
“She is not granted the right to be an ungrateful spiteful a**hole without consequence.”-Total-News3680
‘Your poor poor niece.”
“Most kids things don’t match ‘color schemes’.”
“I doubt she’s allowed to have anything fun as a result.”- Puzzleheaded-Big1680
“My sister in laws did the same thing with my gifts.”
“One even used to sell them!”
“They said I showed them up and made them look bad as my nieces usually loves my gifts the most.”
“Even though they bought them big ticket items.”
“I never spent a lot on them, but I really listened to them and got them things they loved.”
“One SIL said I would understand why it hurt them when I had kids of my own.”
“But I have a daughter now and I’d only be happy if she was given a gift she loved.”
“They both asked me just to give money as gifts before the girls hit their teens.”
“I will never understand it.”
“I just wanted to be a good auntie.”- Mobuladreams
“Going forward, give Evie gifts she wants but have her open them and keep them at your house.”
“Bet she will be ok with that as her mom tossing her poster probably hurt.”- 2ndcupofcoffee
“Open a bank account for your niece, and deposit ALL the money you would have spent on gifts for the whole family for the whole year, and give her access to the account once she starts University or needs it to move out, or decides she wants to go to Disney without her parents, or a car, whatever you both decide.”
“Then every holiday or birthday, just add a note to the card saying something like, ‘Happy Birthday SIL. $100.00 has been deposited into Niece’s ‘auntie’ account!'”- ScammerC
One can’t help but wonder if the OP’s SIL was being serious about throwing away the presents because it clashed with the colors of her home.
Maybe she just didn’t like Minecraft, and wanted it out of her house?
Either way, throwing a child’s birthday present away is a fairly shocking thing to do.
The OP’s SIL should seriously consider how she’d feel if she found someone threw away a gift she gave them.
Regardless of the reason.