As humans, we definitely appreciate acts of kindness and charity, but there is a line where charity becomes boundary crossing. It’s awkward to even suggest that somebody who has kind intentions is crossing a line, but there comes a point where we do need to stand up for ourselves.
Reddit user ThrowA70590714 found himself in this very situation, when his landlord’s daughter kept bringing him food that he didn’t ask for.
After making it very clear he did not want this to continue, he went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for perspective on his reaction.
“AITA For insisting on moving out after my landlord’s daughter kept bringing me meals?”
Our original poster, or OP set the scene where the unwanted meals kept coming from.
“I M[ale]23 found a place to rent a month ago. Before that I had issues coming up constantly with electricity, water, etc. My previous landlord’s were mean and disrespectful.”
“The one I currently have is a good guy. He has an 18 year old daughter who he introduced me to and offered that she comes over to clean up but I politely declined, but they insisted since her dad pays her to clean up other rooms in the building so it’s kind of a paying job for her. I said okay.”
However, this arrangement got bad pretty fast.
“She has a copy of the key that I didn’t know about til later.”
“No issues until she started re-doing my room every single week causing my belongings to get lost or putting stuff like books I’m not even interested in or candles with a strong scent or lamp that is too bright in my room.”
“I brought it up with her dad. She apologized but nothing’s changed. Then she started hanging around the place and letting her dog in causing a mess. I talked to her dad again then she stopped.”
Then the meals started showing up.
“Recently she started bringing me meals with ingredients that I’m allergic to. At first I thanked her and gave the meals to my friends but she kept bringing more.”
“I explained I have an allergy and I unfortunately can not eat her meals. But she didn’t stop and started bringing desserts that contain the same ingredients.”
“I was getting fed up with this. Yesterday I came back to see she left a meal on my computer desk and It was obvious I couldn’t eat it because of my allergy. I called a friend to come take it but he didn’t come. I ended up throwing it in the trashcan.”
When she saw the meal in the trash, she got very upset.
“She came in the evening and saw it. She looked upset and asked why, I told her why but she threw a fit saying it was incredibly awful of me to do this and that I had no respect for her.”
“I blew up and told her to have some respect and stop going into my room. Stop letting her dog in, stop bringing me meals that’s when she started crying calling me a jerk.”
At this, OP decided he needed to get away.
“I couldn’t take it. I called my landlord and told him I want to move out. He made excuses for his daughter’s behavior and said I should’ve been calmer and more respectful and not cause her to cry.”
“He said I shouldn’t move out because he won’t find a tenant easily in the area. I argued with him and insisted on moving out.”
“I told this to my friends who disagreed saying I was ungrateful and that the landlord’s daughter was cute but I was cruel and mean. They said I should stay but I refused.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Reddit agreed that OP hadn’t done anything wrong here.
“THIS is one of those times a well placed Yelp/Google review will come in very handy.”
“‘Dude lets his daughter come into the rooms, move things and bring all sorts of allergens into the apartments – do not rent from this guy as he thinks it’s ok.'”
“Next, what in the actual f**k? This is NOT how a landlord/tenant relationship should work AT ALL.”
“I live in a shared house as well and we do have a cleaner that comes (landlord’s daughter), however, she has no right to enter any of the rooms, she only does the common areas.”
“The fact this girl went from simply cleaning, to rearranging your stuff, to bringing you meals – it sounds awfully suspect that this dude is trying to hook you up with his daughter. Or she’s trying to make herself out to be a good housewife or something.”
“Either way, the boundary overstepping here is on an insane level. Ignore your friend’s ‘because she’s cute,’ is not an excuse for her behaviour.”
“If I were you, I’d move out and just stop paying rent. If/when the dude calls you, just say you moved out and it’s his fault for not respecting very typical landlord boundaries. NTA”~Els236
NTA. The OP’s friends are really weird. ‘Let the cute chick do whatever. So what if she keeps trying to feed you stuff that’ll make you sick?'”
“I agree that the landlord’s daughter might have some kind of unhealthy thing for the OP.”
“The snooping and constant invasion of space aside, the bringing food that he’s allergic to is the creepiest thing to me, because what if OP’s allergies are really severe or life-threatening? Some people get a reaction from just being in a room with an allergen.”~xeuthis
“Move out ASAP, but in the meantime pick up a Wyze camera. They’re like $20 online or at Home Depot and can alert your phone when it detects a person.”
“I bought one when my previous landlord’s son kept entering my apartment. I moved out and terminated my lease.”
“When they mentioned rent I asked if they wanted to see a video of their creepy son poking around my place without notice. They did not. NTA.”~zomblee84
“NTA. The landlord and his daughter are being wildly inappropriate and creepy as f**k.”