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Muslim Woman Called Out For Always Waiting Until Dinner Is Ready To Do Her Daily Prayers

A muslim woman prays on a carpet

Everyone wants to be respectful other people’s religions.

Prayer time is very important to many people.

But sometimes certain aspects of one’s religion can start to get in the way of other people’s day.

Like mealtime.

Mealtime is important.

And some people don’t want to wait for prayers.

Case in point…

Redditor throwawayaita70 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

They asked:

“AITA for not waiting for my mother-in-law to finish her prayer before eating?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“**She is a muslim so her prayer isn’t related to eating but something she has to do five times daily.**”

“My mother in law always pulls this stunt of waiting right until food is already served at the table to do her prayer.”

“It doesn’t matter whether it’s lunch or dinner.”

“Everyone is forced to wait for her till the food has gone cold.”

“She would always say go ahead, don’t wait for me I don’t mind the food going cold.”

“But it would be rude NOT to wait.”

“So we end up waiting and when she’s done she reiterates again why we waited for her and we should have eaten first.”

“So this time, I was really starving and decided to take her word for it.”

“Everyone kept telling me to wait but I told them ‘Sorry I’m just really hungry, you can all wait if you want.'”

“And then took a part of the main dish to my plate and started to eat in the midst of various dirty glares.”

“When the children saw me eat they also couldn’t hold back anymore and boldly reached for the food then everyone ended up also eating except my sister in law.”

“When my mother in law came out, she was shocked when she saw everyone eating and the much more skimpy main dish.”

“She said why yes do help yourselves you’ve stuffed yourselves full already.”

“Sister in law immediately jumped in to single me out as the ‘perpetrator’ who started this while everyone else remained quiet.”

“I told her I thought you didn’t mind us starting ahead.”

“And she said in a sarcastic tone, ‘Oh you thought I didn’t mind huh. Seems like your parents never taught you manners or how to respect your elders. I extend politeness by saying that but people who have some manners would know not to dig in like a pig.'”

“Others started to intercede to calm her down telling her things like… don’t mind her she’s young while mother in law retorts what young at her age I had three children… etc.”

“And then told them I’m not eating her food and went back to the room.”

“I still found it kind of funny and childish even after we left until my husband berated me when we got home.”

“He asked me whether I was satisfied now and why I couldn’t just be patient, that I knew exactly what I was doing.”

“But even if I did indeed know exactly what I was doing, I believe there was nothing wrong with it.”

“And I’m tired of her pulling these kinds of stunts.”

“But at the same time, I did cause unrest within the family and stirred up things knowingly, which might make me the a**hole here.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. Normally, I’d say her house, her rules.”

“But deliberately always waiting to pray until the food is ready and then forcing everyone to wait for you to the extent that their food gets cold sounds like a power trip for her.”

“Her reaction was then extremely immature and passive aggressive.”

“Sounds like she knows what she’s doing and isn’t used to being called out on it.”  ~ DisgruntledPelican54

“Muslims have specific times of day to pray.”

“So I don’t think it’s fair to claim she’s deliberately waiting to pray… instead she should be scheduling the meal around those times better.” ~ sylverbound

“I think what they meant is the M[other] I[n] L[aw] is deliberately waiting to put food on the table for right before it’s time to pray.”

“If it’s something she does multiple times a day then she should be able to plan around such properly.”

“Keep food in the oven or something so not every meal results in food going cold and guest sitting awkwardly waiting for her.”  ~ Available-Score-491

“Exactly. Prayer times are well known and made available so far in advance that there should be no problems moving mealtimes to before or after her prayers.”

“MIL is being a jerk and falsely pious in my opinion.”

“Ooh, look. I am such a good Muslim.”  ~ HM202256

“Not only does she put the food on the table before she goes to pray, she also makes sure everyone’s sitting at the table and then makes them wait.”

“If your prayer takes so long that the food gets cold, you can let the family do their thing until you’re done or have your family (spouse, kids) finish the meal/watch the pans while you pray so they can put it on the table and everyone gets to eat their food while it’s still warm.”

“This is a power move through and through.”  ~ EatThisS*it

“Muslim here. From the post (which may or may not be the whole story) she seems to be doing it deliberately.”

“She can either eat first (as another person said, if you’re hungry and food is ready, it’s sunnah to eat first THEN pray) or tell who’s making the lunch or dinner that she’s going to be praying at a certain time.”

“Which unless you just had daylight savings time should be around the SAME time +- a few minutes.”

“There’s no reason it should be an ongoing problem.”

“Also as a Muslim she should not be talking in that fashion.”  ~ mrcloseupman

“Islamic prayer times have time periods during which you can pray, the earlier (at the start time of each time period) the better.”

“So what OP means is, that mother in law could have prayed earlier because the time period had started long before meal time.”

“However she doesn’t pray until everyone’s ready to eat, but the time period for the specific prayer would end if she ate first.”

“And that’s the time she chooses to pray.”  ~ hummingelephant

“NTA. That said the best way to win this petty little game of hers is to not play.”

“They all know this is bulls*it on her part but they are all too chicken to call her on it.”

“Minus her yes woman in S[ister] I[n] L[aw].”

“You’re not cooking any more for them.”

“There is no point in wasted effort and cold food because she does this shit on purpose.”

“SIL can thrown on an apron.”

“To that end have a big meal before you get there.”

“When it comes up point out that there’s no point in you going hungry that long and you’re not interested in eating hot food gone cold.”

“Super petty option->IF you continue to cook, don’t turn a damn thing on until she goes to pray.”

“Sit down with a drink after doing prep and then find someone one to chat with.”

“When someone asks why you haven’t started cooking? ‘Oh well there is no point in starting before MIL goes to pray so I’m just going to wait for her to go so she can have a hot meal when she’s done.'”

“Put on the most sickeningly sweet voice when you say this.”

“Pull out a snack, offer some to the kiddos and wait her out.”

“She’ll crack or someone else will.”

‘Either way you’re off kitchen duty on that visit.”  ~ LhadyLoki

“NTA – but since she likes to hold you hostage to her prayers, just ensure that you don’t go to meals that start before her prayer times.”

“There are very mathematically set times (based on time of year and location) that as a good Muslim she should be following.”

“All you need to do is call your local Mosque for the times.”  ~ VonShtupp

“Exactly. MIL is shaming everyone and literally being holier than thou by choosing to pray when she does.”

“And my petty ass would look her dead in the eye and say, ‘Oh, I thought prayer time was at whatever the next time is, why are you praying now instead of then?'”

“Then I would make the sign of the cross and pick up a serving spoon.”

“NTA, but u might be a pot stirrer!”

“Thank you for your service. Lol.”  ~ blarffy

“NTA. Why isn’t your husband mad at her for insulting you in front of everyone?”

“She knows what she is doing and doesn’t sound like a nice person at all.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed your food while it was hot.”  ~ Imaginary-Fall-7310

“NTA: Your mother in law should be praying at specific times of the day.”

“Meals can be planned around these prayer times.”

“If she is waiting until it’s time to eat then she is clearly being the A.”

“She’s not following her own religion AND she’s holding you all up.” ~ Grakulen

“NTA what does she mean by ‘She doesn’t want to eat your food?'”

“Stand your ground. Don’t take anymore insults from her or your husband.”

“You shouldn’t let him talk down to you like that.”

“You didn’t cause a scene. She did.”

“Your husband’s needs to learn that his mother is not always right.”  ~ Joyjoyjoyjoy16

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

You took her at her word.

And hungry is hungry.

Maybe it’s time for a big, honest family sit down; after prayers of course.

Good luck.