Babies are a lot work.
When caring for a newborn, sleep becomes a memory.
So one must grab it in anyway they can and for whatever amount of time is possible.
When others stand in the way of sleep, trouble ensues.
Case in point…
Redditor blossom902 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for leaving our son with my husband so I could have a nap while his friends were over?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My husband’s friends sometimes come over to spend time with him.”
“They were here last Friday which I was fine with but our son wouldn’t go to sleep.”
“Which was frustrating for me because I wanted to take a nap as for this pregnancy I’ve been constantly tired.”
“I tried to get him to go to sleep for an hour but I eventually gave up and took him outside where my husband was with his guests.”
“I asked him to watch our son for a bit but his best friend told me some of them were going to smoke so I should take him back inside.”
“I’ll admit I wasn’t in the best mood so I told him he wouldn’t be able to smoke.”
“It didn’t need to turn into a fight but it did because he was trying to guilt me into taking my son inside by telling me they were drinking.”
“And how they hadn’t seen my husband in ages and how I had already changed my husband’s life rapidly in less than 2 years.”
“So I should let him have one night with his friends.”
“My husband did tell his best friend to shut up and said he would watch our son.”
“But was I TA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. His friends need to keep their noses out of y’all’s relationship.”
“If your husband understands, that’s all that really matters.”
“You needed rest and shouldn’t be expected to give that up so that his friends can smoke and have a good time.” ~ vivid_prophecy
“NTA, it is between you and your husband.”
“His friend, frankly, is a jerk.”
“Good for your husband for telling him to shut up.” ~ SugarFries
“NTA… and extra bonus points for your husband for telling his friend to shut up.” ~ whatever_1_2_3
“OP’s husband should have kicked his friend out the moment he said ‘you changed his life drastically’ like excuse me did OP get pregnant by herself?”
“The fact that the husband didn’t do anything for that comment alone is appalling.” ~ sveji
“I don’t know if he necessarily needed to tell his friends to leave but I think by telling them to shut up put them in their place the audacity for the friends to talk to his wife that way.”
“As of somehow there are more important than she and his kids are is really bizarre.” ~ Smooth-Enthusiasm433
“NTA. He made the baby too and plans sometimes get changed because of kids.”
“His friends sound pretty immature.” ~ Smashingistrashing
“NTA. It’s not a favor for your husband to watch his son, it’s just being a parent.”
“He had a child, that means he is now a parent, and has to care for that baby.”
“Next time you feel guilty, imagine the roles were reversed.”
“Would your husband feel guilty about asking you to watch your son for an hour or two?” ~ KaraAuden
“NTA. You’re pregnant and have a small child to take care of and needed a break.”
“Your husband is just as much of a parent to that child as you are.”
“It’s perfectly reasonable to ask him to watch the kid for a bit.”
“If your husband wanted to spend time with his friends free of parental responsibility, he shouldn’t have had kids.” ~ tszarathstra
“NTA. Your husband did exactly what he was supposed to do.”
“That wasn’t your battle, that was his battle and he stepped right up.” ~ dublos
“NTA. Your husbands friend is the a**hole.” ~ REDDIT
“I think he’s more than just an a****** he seems to feel that his relationship with her husband is more important than she and his kids are to him.”
“How weird is it that he would say to her you’ve changed his life drastically in the last 2 years as if somehow the husband had no say in it.”
“Like she made him marry her she made him have kids against his will.”
“Really odd actually.”
“She didn’t change his life he made life choices.” ~ Smooth-Enthusiasm433
“Your husband’s friend is out of line.”
“He’s a guest at your house and isn’t being respectful.”
“Good for your spouse for having your back.”
“My spouse’s best friend is like this and it’s very hard to like him.”
“All you had to say is pregnant and I would have been on your side though.” ~ EmBZee
“NTA. YOU changed your husband’s life?”
“It’s amusing how his friend wants to act like your husband has 0 autonomy.”
“Whenever I hear this crap it never occurs to the speaker they are calling their friend/family member a drone.” ~ BendingCollegeGrad
“NTA, good grief.”
“Best friend is single and no kids, right?”
“He has no clue how exhausting parenting and being pregnant can be.”
“I’m glad hub stepped in on your behalf, otherwise he’d definitely get a flying AH.”
“Friend sounds salty that you ‘took’ his buddy away.” ~ TCTX73
“NTA at all and the friend needs to shut his mouth.”
“Does he make all men out to be victims of some evil woman?”
“Your husband knowingly married you, had a child with you, and sounds like chose to have another.”
“He chose parenthood just like you did.”
“A large part of parenthood is spending time with your kids even if it’s not convenient.”
“I’m glad your husband stood up to this doofus.”
“If one of my friends said that to my wife, we would no longer be friends.”
“It’s insulting to you and your husband.” ~ michiganproud
“NTA. To me, having a ‘guy’s night’ at your place is a slap in the face.”
“Especially with a first child, the father needs to pick up some of the slack so that you can get a girl’s night out, or even so you can just have some time to yourself.”
“He also has to take steps to ensure you get some sleep, which means he shares the diaper duty at 3am.” ~ VlaxDrek
“NTA. Your husband is also a parent.”
“So he and his friends shouldn’t be surprised when he has to do dad things like watch the children so you can rest.”
“And you’re pregnant so that’s a legitimate reason to rest.”
“Also, you as a mom, would your girlfriends think it was okay to come over and start getting intoxicated and smoking around your kids?”
“Because I feel like most women would be asking if this was a kids free thing for sure before doing that or at least the party would be shut down immediately knowing they had to help with childcare.”
“This just feels like a double standard and men feeling like women should be the primary caretakers no matter if they’re sick or pregnant or what, and men get to enjoy themselves and have fun.”
“Good for you for standing up for yourself.”
“I wish your husband stood up for you too when his friend started guilt tripping you, especially when he was blaming you for your husband’s life changing so drastically.”
“I’m sure your life has changed drastically too after having a child and being pregnant with another!”
“Having children is one of the most life changing experiences, why should your husband’s life remains untouched while yours gets turned upside down?”
“Your husband’s friend is immature as hell.” ~ violetbanana0023
“NTA.You changed his life in the last 2 years??”
“You’re go**amn right you did he married you and you have children I’m sorry his friends think you’re an issue because of of his choices!!”
“Clearly his friends think they’re more important than you are or his family.”
“You didn’t make him marry you you didn’t make him have children with you the friends need to go.” ~ Smooth-Enthusiasm433
“NTA and parenting goes both ways and it sounds like you have been carrying majority of the parenting so far.”
“Expecting him to care for your child is not unreasonable even if his friends are in town.”
“His friend have no right to tell you how to parent and he needs to stick up for you.”
“When he chose to be with you he chose you over everyone else and he needs to hold up his end of that; whether it’s watching the kid while you nap or telling his AH friend to shut up.”
“He needs to do better.” ~ Outrageous-Lock2924
“NTA his friend is over stepping.”
“You don’t go over to someone else’s house and tell them what to do with their kid or what you’re gonna do on their property.”
“He sounds entitled and awful.”
“I would have kicked him out personally if my husband hadn’t already (my husband would have).”
“Get your rest mama.” ~ justusfam
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
Some people should really mind their own business.
So you have every right to tell off someone in your business.
Get some rest.