Anyone who has been pregnant or spent a significant amount of time around someone who was pregnant can agree that pregnancy cravings are no joke.
But when those cravings start to get in the way of other important things, like attending events, there might be something greater at stake, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
While attending a regular family gathering, Redditor Legitimate_Shop_2621 experienced an intense craving for a slushee.
Because the closest place where they could get one was a half hour away, the Original Poster (OP) angered her boyfriend by demanding that they leave the gathering early to go get a slushee.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for getting a pregnancy craving during a party?”
The OP had a pregnancy food craving during a family get-together.
“I (29 Female) am pregnant with my boyfriend, Sam (32 Male).”
“Sam and I went to a party for his family. No momentous occasional just a normal family get-together.”
“During my pregnancy, I have had intense cravings.”
“While we were at the party, I told Sam I was craving a slushee. The closest place where we could get one was about 30 minutes away.”
“We had just arrived about 20 minutes prior. He said to give him a little while and we’d go get one.”
The OP didn’t want to wait anymore.
“After about 30 more minutes, I said it again to Sam.”
“He said, ‘Fine, get in the car.’ On our way there, we got into an argument, and he thinks the craving could have waited a couple of hours.”
“He’s now mad at me we have to leave the party early.”
“We see his family two or three times a month, sometimes more, and I don’t think it’s a big deal to leave when I have a craving.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought there was nothing wrong with acting on a pregnancy food craving.
“NTA. My husband left his cousin’s wedding early for me when I was pregnant with our first to get me a pregnancy craving. He didn’t even think twice. Like legit said let’s go.”
“It was him and I against the world. Two kids and 18 years later. F**k those people. We still are winning.” – pricelessmama04
“NTA. If you guys see them that much and already spent some time there, he can indulge your craving, especially since you’re carrying his child.” – Junita908
“Wait a minute!! Are people really serious about this one? Is a party more important than your partner now?”
“Leaving a party early isn’t that big of a deal especially when it is happening two or three times a month. Not like they met only every a year or so. People leave parties for all sorts of reasons, what’s so wrong with this one?”
“I don’t see any reason why you’re being blamed, OP. You had a craving, you asked your partner twice, and he decided to throw a fit. NTA. To each their own, though. If my boyfriend got mad at me for making him leave a party ONE F**KING TIME, I don’t know what I would do. NTA, don’t worry.” – ThrowRA-misssssy
“NTA. If he’s annoyed at this, wooooo, when it gets to other bigger ‘inconveniences,’ he’s going to be a delight to deal with. Tell him now, he needs to be on board with supporting you.” – RedditBear22
“NTA. In my opinion, your pregnancy takes priority. It was just a social gathering and you see them all the time. It shouldn’t be a big deal either way.” – h0td0g17
“NTA, because pregnancy is just a weird time and the hormones all over the place, fluctuating blood sugars also in the mix, makes things very difficult, then add in the increased metabolism. He better buckle up, because this isn’t a small matter if he doesn’t want a weepy and hangry pregnant lady on his hands.”
“For me, cravings were an all-consuming singular focus until I ate it. A deep biological urge that made little sense. I felt like a man dying of thirst in a desert and all other foods were a mirage. I would get the low blood sugar shakes and nausea if I didn’t indulge in that day’s cravings. It was horrible and really difficult to live through.”
“Not all women have the same pregnancy experiences, do not discount something just because you didn’t experience it. I didn’t have morning sickness, does that mean I can say somebody with hyper gravidarum is acting spoiled and selfish? Nope.” – Ecstatic-Catch-7149
“NTA. Families like this are so annoying to me, like, yeah, see you again in a week for another celebration. I think it’s completely fine for you to get a slushee, and then your boyfriend literally could have gone back after that, it’s not that deep.”
“These comments are so beyond disgusting with how much people downplay creating a human. You can literally die during labor and delivery. You’re literally risking your life to have this baby. All you asked for is a slushee, and people are up in arms about it.”
“Even some women who have given birth themselves are trying to downplay it because ‘my pregnancy cravings weren’t that bad.’ Like, okay, well, that’s you, and my mom said the same to me, so I wasn’t expecting to have many cravings, either, but boy was I wrong.”
“I’ve had a burger, like, at least twice a week, and in my first and second trimester, I had one almost every day. And slushees, oh my god, when you’re pregnant, they hit so different.”
“I don’t know, you’re literally putting your life on the line to have this guy’s baby. The least he can do is step away from a party he goes to basically three times per month or more to get you a slushee. I feel so bad for women who don’t have supportive partners like this; my baby daddy would buy me three different meals if I was craving all three.” – virgodaze
“NTA. The people commenting on here are scary. I’ve felt cravings and they are intense. A slushy in particular could be because you are overheating. I suggest trying to drink something super cold with a ton of ice to see if that helps.”
“Your boyfriend sees these people all the time. Pregnancy isn’t forever. Depending on how pregnant you are, you should be staying closer to home anyway.”
“To the other commenters, you’re not better than anyone because you didn’t give into cravings. Get over yourself. ‘I’ve had two kids!’ Blah blah blah. Get a grip.” – Dependent-Muffin-918
Others thought the OP was inconsiderate for insisting on her craving at that moment.
“NTA for getting a craving, but 100% YTA for your entitled behavior making him leave a gathering for something that totally could’ve waited until later.”
“Pregnancy does not trump basic good behavior and etiquette.” – AML1987
“First, You really want something right now. It’s something you can get any day of the week. He wants you to wait two hours.”
“Second, He really wants something right now. It’s something that happens once a week or less. You want him to wait a week or more.”
“Why do you win?”
“Why do you get to decide that his want isn’t important and he should wait instead of you waiting AND probably also being able to get what you want just two hours later?”
“YTA.” – bigcup321
“YTA. Just because you get a craving doesn’t mean everybody has to drop everything to accommodate you. If you don’t get the slushee, you’ll live.”
“Even in such a short post, you come off as childish and entitled.”
“Also, I’ve got five offspring. There’s nothing you can tell me about cravings I haven’t experienced.” – IAmHerdingCatz
“YTA. I’ve had two kids. I get cravings. But you don’t get to demand that your boyfriend leave a get-together 20 minutes after you have driven 30 minutes to get there. Yes, he put it off and you were oh-so-not-patient for another 30 minutes.”
“It is a big deal and honestly, seems like a total power play. I would really consider how long he’s going to stick around for this kind of disregard for him and his wants.” – rbrancher2
“Having four kids, I understand cravings, but I do not understand why you couldn’t solve this problem on your own. You literally wanted crushed ice and sugar. Ice cubes and any kind of juice thrown in a blender would work.”
“By the way, it is a big deal to hand your problems to someone else and expect them to fix them. You’re pregnant, not incapable.” – Alarming_Reply_6286
“YTA. You were in the middle of a family event and demanded he either spend an hour driving to get you a slushee or to leave the party after only just getting there. At the very least, why couldn’t you go yourself?”
“I understand pregnancy cravings are tough, but it’s hardly a medical emergency. If you were in the middle of a work day, would you just dip for an hour because you needed a slushee?” – Outrageously_Penguin
“YTA. Someone will have to explain to me in detail why a craving would need to be immediately satisfied to get me to change my view. Why is this a ‘leave now’ situation and not a ‘we will get one when we leave’ thing?”
“Because otherwise you can use ‘craving’ as an eject button for any interaction and it corners him into your every whim.”
“There has to be a reasonability element to a request.” – pottersquash
“NTA. You’re just a person. Like. Why would making a mistake in your judgment of how urgent something was make you the a**hole?”
“You had a minor error of judgment that led to an argument, just apologize for it, ask your boyfriend how he’s feeling about it and listen, and then move on and try not to do it again.”
“Making a selfish decision isn’t always an indicator of being an a**hole.” – SenSenaSen
After receiving feedback, the OP came to a conclusion.
“Thank you, everyone. I get it. I’m the AH.”
The subReddit could understand having a pregnancy craving, but they had questions about the immediacy of her need, or why the couple couldn’t have gone back to the party after getting the slushee. Some, however, thought the boyfriend needed to appreciate the fact that the OP was pregnant and was making a small request, especially since they frequently visit his family.