People have varying opinions about having pets and what their place and importance in the home should be.
While all of these opinions are valid, they can lead to serious disagreements, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor GermanCat34 was devoted to her three German Shepards, and she provided everything she could to make them feel as comfortable as possible in their shared home.
But when she was openly criticized by her family for how she furnished her home for her dogs, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was somehow wrong for how she prioritized them.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for refusing to give my sister my ‘unused’ twin bed?”
The OP arranged her bedroom specifically for her and her dogs.
“I (26 female) and my sister Megan (36 female) have been in an argument for the past day because I refused to give her my twin bed set for her 4-year-old daughter.”
“In the master bedroom of my house, I have a bed for myself and a nice, tall twin bed set I used as a dog bed for my three German Shepards.”
“The bed is super cute and equipped with everything from dinosaur bedsheets to large, plushy pillows in the shapes of bones and T-Rexes.”
The OP watched as her sister asked for favors starting early in her pregnancy.
“Since the first day my sister found out she was pregnant, she has been demanding handouts from everyone in the family.”
“My sister was not, nor is currently, financially stable or able to support having a child.”
“Instead of getting a job, she mostly guilt-trips my mother and stepfather into paying for everything she and the child needs.”
“My sister recently moved back into town and was unable to bring most of her things from her previous house due to her having to leave in a hurry.”
Her sister wanted something from her home when she visited.
“Two days ago, my sister came and visited me at my house for the first time since I bought the place over two years ago.”
“My sister was expecting me to live, and I quote, ‘in a s**t shack, but was quite surprised to find out I live in a quiet, comfortable home filled with nice things I take care of.”
“When my sister saw the master bedroom, she noticed the second bed I use for the dogs and commented on how stupid it was that I spent my money on a separate bed just for my dogs.”
“Walking through my house, my sister treated it like a shopping trip and constantly pointed out things I should give her for her new apartment that my mother and stepfather are paying for.”
The OP clarified in a comment what some of those other items were.
“1. Random knickknacks that I have acquired while traveling.”
“2. Certain vintage pots and pans.”
“3. Cute joke mugs.”
“4. A few dresses and pairs of boots from my closet.”
“5. She wanted me to take a few pictures out of my picture frames and give her the frames.”
“6. I could go on…”
But the sister was especially fixated on that bed.
“But she seemed to be most fixated on the bed I use for my dogs. She constantly pointed out how her daughter could really use a bed since she would be having to share with my sister until they can afford a separate bed for my niece.”
“The entire time, I stonewalled my sister and refused to give her any of the items in my house.”
“Eventually, my sister left disappointed and quite fussy.”
The rest of the family lashed out at the OP for how she handled her sister’s visit.
“The next day, I woke up to messages from my mother, stepfather, sister’s friends, and even her baby-daddy.”
“They were all saying that I am cruel and that it is unfair for me to not give my sister the twin bed, especially if it’s not even being used.”
“My stepfather is trying to play peacekeeper and has offered to pay me in secret for me to give my sister the bed as a ‘housewarming present.'”
“But I am not interested in giving my sister the bed, nor any of the other items in my house she wanted, as a housewarming present or otherwise.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some urged the OP to not set the precedent of giving her sister any of her possessions.
“NTA. Just tell your stepdad to buy her a d**n bed. They will deliver it and everything, FFS (for f**k’s sake).”
“I’d just tell them, I’m not setting a precedent where she thinks she can just go shopping at my house and expect to get whatever she sees.”
“That’s the kicker. Nope, not setting the precedent where my entitled sister thinks she can go shopping at my house for whatever she sees that she wants.”
“I can tell you where I got the bed, but that’s the best I can do.”
“Or if you must, just say, ‘Well, the dogs have had some accidents, so you may not want it…'” – chuckinhoutex
“She wants your picture frames?! What the actual f**k?! This is entitlement at its finest.”
“You definitely do not want to give in, now or ever. She’s not going to stop if you give her what she wants. She’s just going to ask for more stuff.” – Advanced_Cheetah_552
“That is such bizarre behavior. Please do not EVER give her anything. I cannot believe the nerve of some people… NTA.” – meghantraining
“H**l no. Not that any of this is acceptable, but my ‘random travel souvenirs’ have lots of sentimental value to me, and my vintage stuff is irreplaceable by default.”
“Why does she think she is entitled to anyone else’s things? Would she allow you to go into her home and randomly request that she give you things? Why not?” – xylodactyl
“I hope your relatives don’t have a key to your place? It wouldn’t surprise me if they just came in when you’re out and took what your sister wants.”
“I would also advise you to install some cameras, just to be on the safe side.”
“It’s so frustrating that everyone is trying to appease her. Why on earth is she fixating on a used bed by dogs? Why would she want her daughter to sleep on that?”
“She’s not thinking straight, and you are under no obligation to do what she tells you to. Do not set a precedent. NTA.” – RollingKatamari
“Uggg, your sister sucks like mine. NTA. My (half) sister started doing this when she turned 19 and moved out.”
“At first, I figured she just needed help because I didn’t have anything when I moved into my first place either. So I gave her a good bit of stuff from my place back then. Apparently, this set a precedent for her and it never stopped. She’s almost 40 now with a husband and a kid and she still does this.”
“She’s not struggling. She and her husband have good jobs and their house is paid off. We make about the same as them so it’s not like my house is filled with luxury goods/furniture but apparently whatever is in my house is just better and she wants it. It’s weird.”
“The last time she visited, she took a bunch of randoms like a small dog blanket (she said it’s perfect for her baby but my dog has been drooling on it for years, it hasn’t been washed in a while either so…), bottles of shampoo and conditioner, (just one) bar of Dove soap, and a jug of cooking oil (from Costco).”
“She lives several states away and had to fly with all that. I don’t even know if she was able to take it all on the plane or not.”
“Put your foot down now and don’t stop stonewalling her. Otherwise, she’ll get used to it and just take whatever she wants from your place without even telling you.”
“I looked for that jug of cooking oil for a week and thought I was going crazy. I’m so thankful she doesn’t visit often otherwise my house would be freaking empty.” – FBB7943
“What the (insert a lot of inappropriate language here)?”
“Nope, nothing, nada, no way, zilch.”
“As others have said, that sets a precedent, and she can get what she wants from others.”
“Number one itself [random knickknacks] already just made me go h**l no. This isn’t going for needs, this is the worst kind of entitlement.”
“NTA obviously.” – tango421
Others questioned if the OP’s sister was someone she wanted to keep in her life.
“Please ban her from your home.” – spaceyjaycey
“Ban her from your life! She sounds exhausting.” – Devidovely02
“My mother has this weird sense of how I owe her, and when I was young, she would come and take things when I had moved out of her house and into my grandmother’s. She once even took the cash I had set aside for my car payment.”
“Now I live very far away from her. NTA.” – archimedesismycat
“Wow. Just wow. I don’t think I have the words to properly convey what I think of your sister. Hopefully, that was her first and last time in your house.” – Muted-Appeal-823
“If you don’t already, get yourself a good security system with multiple cameras. She will come while you are out and ‘shop’ in your house for real. Keep her out of your house as much as possible. She is a very entitled person!!” – Blonde2468
“Be very careful with future visits by her to your home. Things have a way of going walkabout (missing) when a person is fixated and determined enough.” – blucougar57
“NTA.”
“DEAR PARENTS,”
“Sister has made her choices in life, and you continue to enable her to make poor choices. This is unfortunate as it models poor behavior for Niece. I choose not to do the same.”
“The bed is not unused, it is the bed I have trained my three dogs to sleep on. My home is not Ikea, Sister doesn’t get to go shopping here.”
“This is the final word on the topic. If you bring it up again, expect us to go low contact.”
“Signed, your child who has her s**t together.” – NerdySwampWitch40
The subReddit was just as confused about the sister being so insistent about supplying her toddler daughter with the OP’s bed that she kept for her dogs, but two things were for certain.
First, the OP absolutely was not wrong for wanting to keep a bed that was being used and was clearly important to her household.
Second, giving in to her sister’s demands absolutely was not something she should start doing, now or in the future, unless she wanted a frequent shopper in her home.