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Irate Pregnant Woman Lectures Friend For Giving Her Baby Gift That Wasn’t On Her Registry

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When buying gifts for a big special occasion, like a baby or a wedding, it may be best to stick to the script.

Most big events come with a registry.

When everything is hand picked you can’t go wrong.

Or maybe just cash?

Case in point…

Redditor MyOwnGuitarHero wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

They asked:

“AITA for getting a friend a baby gift that wasn’t on her registry?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I asked my friend for her registry but it wasn’t yet set up completely.”

“I waited a few weeks after to see what she didn’t have.”

“I saw a baby bouncer and texted her to see if she had one and she said no.”

“The one on her registry was about $30. No big deal.”

“I click on the link to Amazon and the bouncer she wants is actually $88.”

“I don’t have that money.”

“I end up finding another one that’s the exact same just a different color and brand.”

“I bought it, sent it as a gift, etc.”

“I text her to say I bought her a bouncer just not the one on her registry and she sent a paragraph on how that’s not the one she wanted.”

“She wanted the one on her registry, it’s the only one she liked.”

“And why did I even ask for her registry if I wasn’t going to buy what she wanted.”

“So I canceled the order.”

“I didn’t even mention to her the price was incorrect because of how devastated I was I couldn’t buy exactly what she put down.


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“NAH – it’s not the same one though if it’s a different price, colour and brand.”

“It might have a different safety rating, it might be made of different or less safe material, it might have worse reviews.”

“I don’t think you are intentionally TA.”

“But people (especially new parents) put a lot of time and energy into researching and choosing exactly what they need.”

“So it’s absolutely pointless and a waste of time and money to get them something different.”  ~ OrangeCubit

“Very valid point.”

“Personally, I would never expect or demand others to pay for the items I carefully selected for my child (this is why I think the mother in this story is entitled).”

“But for example, I had a lot of pointless arguments with my parents because they wanted to buy a car seat for my son.”

“For their car, to take him out with them, we have our own car seats and I gave them a list of the ones that are safe.”

“The price tag wasn’t an issue, but my mother liked a specific car seat she had seen because of the design.”

“The colors and lines were beautiful, I admit.”

“Yet it was a brand and model that wasn’t crash-tested and wasn’t certified.”

“She was hellbent on buying that car seat and was super offended when I said my son would never use it.”

“For her, I was being stubborn and they were all car seats.”

“But I took the trouble to learn and research about vehicular safety for babies and I knew that wasn’t the case.”  ~ Jolly_Tooth_7274

“I agree, NAH because I just spent a full week researching a stroller/car seat set, and still have 48,000 other things to buy.”

“There seems to be a recall for half the playards I’m looking at.”

“Though I will say the friend is a mild AH for the rude reply.”

“Saying ‘why did you ask for my registry if you weren’t going to buy anything off of it’ is rude and they could’ve just said ‘sorry, I won’t be able to use it.'”

“‘I wanted X one because of safety reasons.'”  ~ ranseaside

“OP is NTA, they didn’t had enough money to get the exact thing the friend wanted.”

“Yes, it could be cheaper material, less reviews, or whatever BUT it’s a gift!!”

“You need to be grateful for whatever people wants to give to you, even if it’s not exactly what you wanted.”

“The friend is the huge AH here.” ~ Ordinary_Escape7682

“So the friend should have just said ‘thanks’ and trashed the gift?”

“It wasn’t what she wanted, she wasn’t going to use it.”

“And since the correct item would still be on her registry it’s likely someone else would buy it.”

“Why let OP waste her money?”

“Where’s the kindness in that?”  ~ OrangeCubit

A few people felt a little different…

“I’m not a fan of registries.”

“That said, she sent you the link for the one she registered for and you bought a different one.”

“YTA for that.”

“You should have picked something cheaper off her registry or just a gift card if there was nothing you could afford on her registry.”  ~ Harry7411

“Registries for babies mean more than others.”

“Birthday or wedding registries are things people want.”

“But baby registries probably involved hours of research since so many items have safety ratings and multiple options with different features.”

“It’s basically like researching multiple tiny cars and you’re doing it to keep your (likely first) baby safe.”  ~ ho_hey_

“I’m pregnant and putting together a registry and I am seriously considering telling people that anything purchased off registry will be returned.”

“I have been literally spending days at a time researching specific products for quality, safety and actual need.”

“And I am including various price points so no one person feels like they have to buy something expensive.”

“To be clear, I don’t expect anyone to buy us anything, but if they do, I’d prefer it be from the registry.”  ~ Bird_Brain4101112

“We’re attending a baby shower this weekend and they used a registry site that let people donate to a specific item.”

“So say they wanted a $200 breast pump and I could only afford $50.”

“I could put that $50 towards the breast pump and others could put money towards it also.”

“Parents still get what they want but people can spend exactly as much as they want to.”

“I will be going off registry for books/clothing, but I agree for the big items/decor stick to the registry unless you know the parents very well.”  ~ AzureMagelet

“ESH. She comes off entitled, but the truth is if you’re buying outside of the registry you should verify with the person before making the purchase.”

“Especially since you asked about the registry specifically.”

“She really should be more flexible and also understand that not everyone will be able to pick/afford something from her list.”

“All the more if she lists items as costing less than the actual price.”

“Price tag aside, what you did is basically ask someone what you want for your birthday, them saying I want a blue, long-sleeved shirt.”

“You getting them a green, short-sleeved shirt and saying well you wanted a shirt so that’s what I got you.”  ~ Jolly_Tooth_7274

“This! I had an upright vacuum on my bridal registry, and my future mother in law offered to get us a different vacuum because she worked at a department store and could get a good deal on it.”

“I said it was fine, but I appreciated her asking so I knew to take the vacuum off my registry so I wouldn’t end up with two.”  ~ VisualCelery

Reddit continued…

“Next time don’t say anything.”

“Buy what you want AND INCLUDE A GIFT RECIPT, that way if they don’t like your gift and have specific reasons for wanting a different thing.”

“Maybe the more expensive one has a better safety rating, etc.”

“They can take your cheaper gift back and put that money towards what they really want. NAH.”

“Next time say nothing & gift receipt.”  ~ Flashleyredneck

“NAH. You were not obligated to get her a bouncer.”

“If there were other items on the registry that were in your price range you should have gone with them instead.”

“Registries take time and quite a bit of thought to pull together.”

“And it can come across as very dismissive if you purchase a different version of item than they asked for, especially since you are not obligated to get them anything.”

“It doesn’t sound like you committed the faux pas intentionally though.”

“Her response to you was bit tacky but I can understand the frustration.”  ~ Sadbabytrashpanda

“NAH. Your heart was in the right place.”

“But when parents add things to baby registries it’s often because they want that particular item.”

“And have probably read reviews and such to decide on exactly what they want.”

“A cheaper alternative may not have all the desired features, it may be too big or too small, incompatible with other products they already own, etc.”

“Just because someone has a registry doesn’t mean you have to buy something off it though.”

“And never feel obligated to spend more on a gift than you can comfortable afford.”

“With $30 you could make a lovely little gift with a toy or two, a book, and some baby clothes.”

“For example I often buy off the clearance rack, and purchase whatever size the baby will probably be wearing for the season those clothes will be worn.”

“Parents often receive piles of NB and 0-3 month clothes but less if anything in larger sizes.” ~ AccessibleBeige

Well OP, Reddit is a little hot and cold.

But in your corner, for the most part.

Maybe there is a layaway plan, or a compromise gift.

Hopefully y’all work it out.