Having roommates can be a difficult living arrangement.
With so many personalities in one confined space, drama is destined to thrive.
And certain requests can cause an uproar.
While others feel like they shouldn’t have to be made at all…
Case in point…
Redditor sn1pehunt wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for asking my roommates to remove their [sex toys] from the bathroom mirror in a way that was not kind?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Last night one of my (23 F[emale]) roommates (23 M[ale], 28 F) washed their [sex toys] in the bathroom sink and suctioned them onto the mirror to dry.”
“I used the bathroom shortly after, and when I came out, I knocked on their door, they said ‘Who is it?’ and I said ‘Get your [sex toys] off the bathroom mirror’ and walked away.”
“I went to bed later that night.”
“The following morning both [sex toys] were still stuck to the mirror when I walked in, and again I told them to get them out of the bathroom.”
“They told me I need to ask them kindly instead of demanding.”
“And I said that I shouldn’t have to ask at all.”
“We got into an argument about it.”
“I’m worried that I may be the a**hole because, yeah, I definitely didn’t kindly ask, but it’s not like I was mean or unkind either.”
“As I stated above, I feel like I shouldn’t have to ask at all for my roommates not to leave their [sex toys] in the common area.”
“And the insistence that I ask them kindly feels like they’re trying to derail from my request for them not to be left in the common area.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Leaving [sex toys] on the mirror is a d**k move.” ~ Slackingatmyjob
“I think the roommates are f**king with OP for being a prude.”
“You wouldn’t dry a [sex toys] that way, and you clean them before and after use.”
“Sticking them to the mirror to ‘dry’ is laughably stupid, and the fact she even believes that proves their prank was hilarious.” ~ Goblin_CEO_Of_Poop
“NTA. I am a very open person when it comes to this stuff, but I would not dream of leaving my toys out in a public/common area – even when I lived alone just in case someone stopped over.”
“And if you’re feeling petty: Next time put on some rubber gloves and suction them to their window from the outside if you can reach it.”
“Or their car windshield.”
“They’ll get the message.” ~ FearNokk
“I wonder if it was a power move.”
“My first apartment was a 2bed/2bath.”
“And it was agreed upon that the ‘guest’ bathroom was MY bathroom because my roommates were a couple and got the main bedroom.”
“Their guests would use THEIR bathroom, and my guests would use MY bathroom.”
“I kept the hallway access door locked all the time and kept my cat’s litterbox in front of it.”
“But the locks were crappy apartment knobs you could unlock with a penny or a fingernail.”
“I was CONSTANTLY coming home to find someone had entered through the hallway (they always had friends over hanging out in their room).”
“I could tell because the box would be askew, litter knocked every from being hit by the door, the door would be unlocked, and a general sense of ‘intruder’ vibes.”
“I’d tell them to stop letting their friends do that per our agreement, but it persisted.”
“So I started leaving extra sex toys littered all around the bathroom.”
“Lined up on top of the shower, suctioned to the mirror, lube on the counter.”
“It looked like a Hustler IKEA in there.”
“The intrusions ceased shortly after.” ~ echoCashMeOusside
“NTA. This is such an egregious overstep of boundaries that I can’t imagine how anyone thinks this is acceptable.” ~ Interesting_Flow730
“NTA, next time I would say, ‘your gonna want to clean those again before you use them’ and just let their imagination run with that.” ~ Madmaxx_137
“NTA – That’s really rude of them to assume you wouldn’t mind them drying sex toys in your shared space.”
“I wouldn’t have asked nicely about it either, honestly.” ~ inzillah
“NTA. It’s a shared space, so I understand you want that picked up.” ~ dreamingoutloud714
“NTA. In what world is that okay?”
“Tell your roommate to have a little courtesy and keep that sh*t in their room.” ~satansBigMac
“You are not the a**hole.”
“I would have thrown them away if I saw them the next day still on that damn mirror.”
“I cannot stand people like them!”
“Be courteous to your roommates, people!”
“It takes MORE effort NOT to be thoughtful.”
“That’s just mind-blowing to me.” ~ google_trix
“100% this, if they would have told me to ask nicer I would tell them they have 5 minutes until the toys get thrown in the trash OUTSIDE the apartment and that the same will happen to future toys without a warning.”
“Or just remove them and smack them up on their car/bike if they have it.”
“That should stop them from being so rude and uncloth.” ~ MeirianaFausth
“NTA. I feel like they’re trying to get a rise out of you.”
“This has nothing to do with sex positivity or prudishness or anything.”
“It has everything to do with being a decent and considerate roommate.”
“Adults don’t act like this.”
“Short term maybe ask in a nicer tone… long term start looking for new roommates if this keeps up.” ~ PoetMany2583
“Get your [sex toys] off the mirror.”
“Is not an unreasonable request.”
“I had a roommate that I had to ask daily to bring the dishes from his room so we could wash and use them.”
“That wasn’t unreasonable, either.”
“Put your towels on the rack to dry.”
“Clean your sh*t stains out of the toilet when you blow a**.”
“Wash your dishes.”
“Put your [sex toys] and bongs away because guests might come over. “
“These are not unreasonable requests from roommates. NTA++.” ~ thePHTucker
“NTA. It’s not like you invited their relatives over for lunch.”
“Then someone would eventually use the restroom and see it, then you say ‘Oh it’s 23 M and 28 F [sex toys] , if you want it removed from the bathroom mirror then you have to ASK NICELY otherwise, they won’t and demand YOU to ask them nicely to remove their [sex toys] form a common area.'” ~ No-Masterpiece-0725
“Yeah, if I walked in the next morning and they were still there.”
“I would have removed them and thrown them in the outside trash.”
“Being sex-positive is fantastic. Forcing your sexuality on other people is not. NTA.” ~ BananaLemonLime
“NTA. Just… leave them elsewhere to try.”
“If they want to try them suctioned to a glass surface, dry them against a window if they have them.”
“This is just kinda creepy to passively involve you in their sex life by leaving their sex stuff out.” ~ Expression-Little
“I think the tone is important.”
“If you just said ‘Get your [sex toys] [sex toys] off the bathroom mirror’ but didn’t yell or have a fit, you did nothing wrong, and honestly, even plenty of very sex-positive people don’t want to deal with other people’s dildos in their faces.”
“Hell, I wouldn’t want anything stuck to a mirror in a common space, but I may be an outlier.”
“They are being childish. NTA.” ~ NotACraicKiller
“Sorry, but we are going to need a pic of the alleged [sex toys] to ensure fair judgment.”
“Seriously, though….NTA.”
“As sexually fluid of a household that I have, we wouldn’t go leaving our toys out all Willy nilly.”
“Could you have addressed it in a more mature way?”
“Perhaps, but what fun is that??” ~ KCSportsGal
“NTA. Since it’s a shared area, everyone is expected to act a certain way.”
“So all personal items should be kept in their rooms unless other roommates didn’t agree that you could keep something in a common area.”
“No one agreed to be greeted by [sex toys] while using a bathroom, so that roommate was TA.”
“I mean, they could stick them to their room’s window.” ~ celestina047NTA
“They’re actually being inconsiderate asf.”
“There are multiple people in the household, not just them.”
“They need to clean up after themselves, and at their age, you shouldn’t be the one to clean up after them.”
“Seeing [sex toys] that aren’t yours on the mirror is unsettling- they should’ve expected your reaction- anyone would be pissed.” ~ MathematicianIcy794
“NTA. That is not their personal space. Personal items outside of the general daily used ones like shampoo, toothbrushes, etc, have no place staying there.”
“I’d have the same issue with someone setting up clothing to dry in a shared bathroom, too, or anything else in that vein.”
“I personally would have also not been too nice in my request, and if they choose that as their hill to die on, I’d be saying next that is not their personal space to monopolize and you will be throwing them out if not removed in the next 24 hours.” ~ ANALizethispease
“NTA Ewwww.”
“Toothbrushes at least get a swipe under the water, but the particulates that come out of a toilet should not be settling on something that goes up there.”
“Well, if the dude uses them, fine, but her lady bits shouldn’t be getting secondhand aerosolized poop all pushed up there.”
“Had it been me, I would have been inclined to put them in the toilet, except that makes everything you own open for retaliation.”
“That considered, they would have had un-smiley faces and whatnot drawn on them with her lipstick.” ~ KnightofForestsWild
Well, OP, sounds like Reddit is with you.
You get to have a voice in your own home.
Certain things just don’t belong in the common areas!