Stress levels are off the charts right now, and that’s especially true for the folks working in the restaurant industry.
And thanks to a recent post by Redditor sadworksituation, we now have a clear, real-life picture of that stress. The whole ordeal was so difficult it drove sadworksituation to post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
Their title for the post outlined the complexities at play.
“AITA for [dis]inviting my boss to my wedding because she screamed at me in front of customers?”
The Original Poster’s (OP’s) story began with some history behind the relevant work dynamic.
“My boss Lottie and I used to be old drinking buddies.”
“I work at a restaurant and when our old manager left, I was offered her job. As I was going through health issues at the time, I declined and Lottie took over instead.”
“It was good for a while, and we started hanging out more. Unfortunately, Lottie started having some issues with the owner and it really effected how she treated the staff.”
And the difficulties grew from there.
“Lottie has often threatened to fire them over very minor issues (forgetting to wipe down a surface or switch off a light at the end of the night).”
“Considering the world we’re in right now and that most of them are struggling to make ends meet, I think it’s wildly inappropriate.”
“She snaps at the staff, speaks to me condescendingly and refuses to accept responsibility when she makes mistakes.”
“This has really effected our relationship. I’ve brought this up multiple times, with zero improvements but the weird thing is that every time we hang out outside of work she’s the nicest person.”
Then came the final straw.
“I got engaged three weeks ago and invited Lottie and a few other members of staff to my wedding.”
“This week she has been especially bad. Tonight, in front of a full restaurant, she snatched a drink out of my hands, spilling it down me, and loudly asked why there wasn’t a lime slice in it.”
“There were maybe ten customers staring at me, soaking wet and being chewed out by my boss.”
To respond to the public shaming, OP tried to strike a balance between firm and fair.
“I de-escalated the situation then took her aside after work to tell her I wasn’t comfortable having her at my wedding if she felt it was okay to treat me like this.”
“She absolutely flipped out. Said it wasn’t okay to just [dis]invite someone, that it wasn’t personal, it was just work.
After the altercation, OP was stunned.
“I’ve just left, and I’m at home trying to figure out what the hell has happened.”
“It’s like a Jekyll and Hyde with Lottie, but I feel like if you treat someone like sh*t at work you can’t pretend like it never happened.”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked to weigh in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors assured OP they weren’t the a**hole.
Redditors interpreted the incident as a sign of Lottie’s character.
“NTA. How you treat your subordinates shows a lot of who you are as a person. Doesn’t matter if she’s nice outside of work, she’s the same person doing those abusive things at work.” — kittensjamesandlily
“NTA – also I’ve never understood the ‘it’s just x’ x being work or whatever – how you treat someone in a situation is how you treat people full stop” — sharpgirl22
“NTA – She was unprofessional and she was abusive to you. That’s not acceptable even at work.”
“Someone that thinks it’s okay to treat you as dirt at work can not be trusted at a wedding, especially if you are serving alcohol because they’ve already proven they don’t have self control.” — perpIndignant
“NTA. Her behavior is absolutely unacceptable in the workplace and honestly I would stop hanging out with someone like that if they treated me like that at work, much less still invite them to my wedding.”
“Sounds like she has some serious issues that she needs to address, especially with the whole jekyll and hyde thing. Yikes.” — CrixusDaGaul
Some took a moment to remind OP their wedding can happen exactly how they prefer.
“NTA. ‘Said it wasn’t okay to just uninvite someone’? It’s absolutely okay to uninvite someone to your wedding. It’s YOUR wedding, why would you have anyone there you don’t want there?” — Aromatic_Cupcake
“NTA no way you shouldnt have to explain or justify this to her.” — vominatrix
“NTA, she sounds awful and you get to invite or uninvite whomever you want to your own wedding. If you share social media with her, I’d end that too.” — velvet_wire
“NTA that is abusive and assault. You shouldn’t have to worry on your wedding day how she will act because with an attitude like that she could ruin your big day.” — Disneyfan6428
Others focused on the fact it all went down at work.
“NTA. A person either treats people well or they don’t. Being at work or being someone’s boss is no excuse for treating people badly. This person isn’t your friend.”
“I suggest letting the boss know that this manager is abusing the staff.” — panic_bread
“NTA. And if I were the owner I’d be worried this environment will drive customers away.”
“Nobody wants to see someone belittled & shamed. Esp people who everyone knows are barely hanging on right now.”
“It’s just not cool on so many levels.” — LucyStonerRulz
“NTA. Go to HR? Do something because that’s f***ed and I hope she gets fired for it.” — dirtybirdy15
If the Reddit community has any say in the matter at all, we can expect one less person on the socially distanced dance floor.