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Woman Considers Returning Her Husband’s Christmas Gift After He Went Snooping And Started Using It

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Christmas is a very fun and stressful time of year with all the decorating, cooking, shopping and gift-giving.

For those who enjoy a surprise, it’s really frustrating when a loved one ruins everything by snooping through the presents.

In fact, Redditor audisupreme was so frustrated by this, she had an important hypothetical question for the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

The Original Poster (OP) asked the thread: 

“WIBTA (Would I Be the A**hole) for returning my husband’s Christmas present after he snooped, opened, and started using it?”

The OP clarified first just how well she hid this present. 

“Just as a start-up I would like to say that he literally went digging to find the gift. I hid it in our attic in a tote of summer clothing, which he literally never gets into. He never steps foot in that attic because he is terrified of spiders.”

And the OP thought she picked out a pretty great gift because her husband wanted it for a long time. 

“My husband has been saying for months that the only thing he wanted for Christmas was a VR headset. He’s wanted one since they came out with them so it’s been a hot minute that he’s been obsessed with these rigs.”

“So when I found the VR he wanted on Black Friday for $200 less than the original asking price, I immediately bought it.”

“When I got home with the gift, he was in the garage so I quickly ran the item to the attic and hid it. The item was still in the box, in the bag, with the receipt. Not wrapped.”

“When I was in the attic my husband came inside and yelled up the stairs to ask what I was doing and I told him I was sifting through stuff to see if I had any extra snow pants for a friend (which she had asked me for the day prior).”

The OP thought she had it covered, but apparently not. 

“He didn’t question it, at that point. However, he must have felt something was up because when I left for work the next day, he found the gift after he went snooping.”

“I came home early from work due to them scheduling too many people on, and when I returned I found him in the living room with the VR all set up and him playing some game. Meaning he went through the entire setup process and downloaded games already.”

The OP was not happy about her ruined surprise. 

“I was so p**sed off and upset about this. Not only did he ruin the surprise but I didn’t get to see his f**king face light up when he opened it, which I had been looking forward to.”

“As soon as he heard me clear my throat, he ripped the headset off and said something like ‘Oh, you’re home early. I found this and wanted to test it out before you gave it to whoever you bought it for.'”

“I will admit that me immediately starting to cry was over-the-top excessive. I was just extremely bummed out. I think that’s when he gathered that the item was for him. However, I walked out, got in my car, and took off to our local park to sit by myself for a minute.”

“He texted me and said, ‘I’m sorry! I didn’t know it was for me! You know how long I’ve wanted one of these bad boys, so I truly just wanted to test it out.'”

“[He continued,] ‘I thought it was for your brother!! But no offense, you are acting like you came home and saw me with another woman or something.’ I didn’t respond.”

The OP wondered if she was wrong for wanting to take the gift away. 

“WIBTA if I returned the gift because he snooped, opened it, and ruined the surprise for me?”

Fellow Redditors responded anonymously, rating the OP’s reaction on the following scale: 

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some Redditors pointed out the husband was making up a story about the brother. 

“NTA. I would be just broken if my husband did that. Both my husband and I have difficulty waiting to gift our presents to each other, especially when it’s a big surprise gift that we know the other is going to love.”

“I would be devastated if he hunted down, found a big surprise, very desired gift, and started using it without a word to me.”

“It seems your husband has very little regard for your feelings and what he did. He knew d**n well it was for him. He didn’t even stop to consider how you would feel. Is he normally this impulsive to the point he can’t help himself?”kaismama

“The fact that his excuse is something that would be a much s**ttier move than opening his own gift… even if we assume he’s being 100% genuine about ‘testing it out’ (which, I agree, I don’t think he is), that’s a shocking level of selfishness and disregard.”redmax7156

“this. P L U S, if she bought the gift for her brother, why the f**k would she have to hide it in an upstairs attic away from her husband?”

“OP, he’s 10000% lying to you and a selfish a**hat at that. NTA.”v0rtecks

“who opens and uses somebody else’s gift if it actually was for someone else? That’s straight-up entitled a**hole behavior.”

“I won’t steal somebody’s phone they were gonna get for Christmas and set it up and use it just to ‘try it out’ and ‘see what it’s like to have one’, no, literally, f**k off for that excuse alone.”

“He made himself look so much worse tbh (to be honest), dunno how or why he would think it would make the whole situation better”somerandomgod

As a result, some other Redditors suggested giving the gift to her brother instead. 

“Yes since he wanted to try it for so long and so bad and thought it was cool to open your brother’s gift & use it, give it to your brother & tell your spouse his gift was getting to try it out before your brother did.”janedoewalks

“Explain to the brother. I’m sure he will understand the punishment and be pleased with the extra gift.”PumpkinSpice2Nice

“I’d only do this if my brother promised to mention it relentlessly- ‘Thanks for behaving like a child BIL (Brother-in-Law), this VR set up is amazing! Best gift ever’ would need to be dropped at every family get together for at least a year.”

“Husband needs to be called on his s**t. Because if, for a moment, we imagine a planet where he really didn’t think it was for himself, it is the definition of tacky to give someone a gift that has obviously been unpackaged, set up, and used before gifting.”

“And unless he’s announcing his proclivity for dressing in his wife’s summer things in December we know the only reason he dug through the tote was to find the gift he knew was coming to him. Because why would she hide someone else’s gift in such a way?”slydog4100

Others suggested either returning the gift to the store or giving the husband nothing more.

“Nah, don’t give him the present. he couldn’t even own up to his mistake, he purposely went through looking and still is lying to OP. he doesn’t deserve to get this”StyleOriginal

“I’d say for OP to pack up the VR set, saying she is keeping it somewhere else and he can open it again on Christmas. Then return it and get him a pack of coal for him to open up. OP will get that priceless look on his face that she was hoping for still.”meechpeach_

“Take it back and don’t get him anything. Matter of fact, buy YOURSELF something you have been wanting and wrap it and put it under the tree for yourself OP!! Your husband was all the way in the wrong here and lied on top of it, then tried to make you feel bad for him being wrong!! TAKE IT BACK!!”SpottieOttieDoppie

Though it can be really hard for some people to wait for the surprise of opening presents on Christmas morning, they should still do their best to be considerate of the gift giver’s feelings.

Reddit seems to be in agreement, whether or not he gets to keep the gift, the husband should think about how thoughtless he was of his wife’s feelings.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan lives in North Chicago, where she works as a poet, freelance writer, and editor. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Western Michigan University, and her BA in English from Indiana University South Bend. Her poems have appeared in Rogue Agent, Whale Road Review, the James Franco Review, Thank You for Swallowing, and elsewhere; and her essays and book reviews have appeared with Memoir Mixtapes, The Rumpus, BookPage, and Motherly, among others. When she's not reading and writing, she's in her garden or spending time with her family. For more, visit www.mckenzielynntozan.com.