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Woman Gives Boyfriend The Silent Treatment After He Gets A Neck Tattoo Against Her Wishes


Redditor _conrvd_ is a man who is passionate about his tattoos and hasn’t gotten any additional ones on his body in the past year due to the pandemic.

That all changed, when a friend recently asked if he wanted to hang out and possibly get inked together.

He obliged, and when he got home, tensions between him and his girlfriend ensued based on a previous discussion they had.

He visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA I got a neck tattoo and my girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment.”

The Original Poster (OP) wrote:

“My girlfriend and I have been together for right about a year but have known each other and been good friends for around 5.”

“She has seen my transition from having virgin, untouched skin to my current state of what some people would start to think as heavily tattooed.”

“I’ve always said I wanted to be head to toe for the most part aside from heavy face (maybe 1 or 2) but she has contested the face at all and pretty hard stance on the neck.”

“So yesterday was my day off and a friend hit me up asking if I wanted to hang out, possibly get a tattoo.”

“Of course I was down, haven’t gotten a new piece in about a year because of [the virus].”

“There is this drawing my girlfriend did when we first started officially dating and I always joked that I was going to get that tatted.”

“When we l would talk about it I would float the idea of either getting it on my neck behind my ear or on my arm.”

“She of course would protest but also kinda blush like I knew she would like it. So when I went I kind just said f’k it and went through with it. She had no idea that I got it and came back home, acting normally.”

“She didn’t even notice for 15 min til I pretty much pointed it out! When she did, she was smiling big and red but then after the initial shock, she went into silent mode.”

“Pretty much didn’t talk to me all night and this morning aside from a few mopes around the apartment.”

“Her stance is I disregarded her feelings and did it in spite of her. My stance is I’ve always wanted this, it’s not super noticeable, she very clearly likes it, just not the placement but won’t admit it and is being dramatic about the whole ordeal.”

“So am I really being inconsiderate and the a**hole or is she just being dramatic and this will blow over?”

Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

Many Redditors did not think the OP getting a tattoo against his girlfriend’s wishes was cool.

“Huh, so I feel like this is actually kind of manipulative towards your girlfriend.”

“From the post and your comments it’s clear that you had permission from her to use her art for your tattoo, but she’s also made it insanely clear she does not like the idea of you getting tattoos on your neck and face.”

“So what do you do? You use her art in an area you know she won’t like! Basically, you took something that was important to both of you and you put it in the the one area she’s asked you not to.”

“If this is really about respecting this image that so important to both of you, why do in the ones place that’s disrespectful to her?”

“You can get tattoos anywhere you want, including your neck and face, but doing that with an image that is important to her after she’s made her opinion clear is really messed up.”

“YTA and honestly you sound exhausting. Like do you respect her opinion at all?”

“She keeps telling you she doesn’t like this, and you keep saying over and over ‘I know she secretly likes it’. You need to listen to her.”

“You know how you said she smiled and turned red? People smile in anger all the time! Especially if they’re brought up to be polite no matter what.”

“And people also flush when angry too! Ugh, the way you talk about her honestly makes me really upset.” – no_rxn

“I’m going with YTA just because you keep saying she clearly likes something she’s telling you she doesn’t? That just feels super disrespectful to me…and given she’s in silent mode and keeps saying she doesn’t like it, it’s weird you keep saying she does, and sort of dismissive of her as a person.”

“You can do what you want with your body but I can never vote that a dude who keeps insisting his girlfriend feels x way instead of y way she’s telling him isn’t an a**hole, so you’re an a**hole for that part.”

“Also: you need to ask an artist for permission before using their work like that imo, so yeah. She does have a say in how her own drawings are used…” – maggienetism

“YTA. For using art she made without her permission. Besides that yes, your body, your choice.”

“However her hard line stance on you not tattooing your face and neck means she may decide to break up with you, since that’s her choice.”

“Not everyone can deal looking at someone’s face and neck and seeing tattoos… Especially the face.” – Mera1506

The OP clarified in an update:

“EDIT: I feel like I’m really ruffling some feathers about the artwork itself.”

“1)She gave me permission to use the artwork.”

“2)She admitted she likes the tattoo just not on my neck.”

The YTA judgments continued:

“His ‘permission’ was her protesting verbally and saying no but ‘blushing so he knew she liked it.’ Even now he’s saying she liked things she’s telling him she didn’t due to her blushing.”

“It’s really creepy and disrespectful he’s taking blushing as consent/approval and ignoring everything she says?” – maggienetism

“YTA whenever you make a permanent decision without her that effects you both, especially one you knew she wouldnt like. It will affect how she sees you everyday.”

“It’s now an unavoidable everyday reminder to her that her opinion doesn’t matter to you. You said ‘f’k it’ because you knew she wouldn’t like it and you did it anyway.”

“Because it’s permanent it also feels like a ‘nana nana boo boo what’s done is done and you can’t change it’ she’s probably right now wondering what other big decisions you’ll make without her in the future.”

“You don’t think about it as a big decision but she clearly did. You used her art to try to flatter her into changing her mind about neck tattoos, but you never really gave her a chance to change it, and you didn’t really care if she did change it did you?”

“Maybe she’s worried about your career or job oppurtunities, or impressions on friends or family, or maybe she just finds neck tattoos unattractive, or tacky, or what many take to be a sign of bad judgement.”

“Either way i don’t think she’s giving you the silent treatment. I think she’s silently contemplating leaving you. Saying she’s being dramatic is just further disregarding her feelings.”

“At every corner your belittling her as if her feelings, opinions and preferences dont matter, are not valid.”

“Hey, it’s your face and neck. Get as many tattoos as you want on them. But if that’s whats really most important to you, you might be flaunting them on the singles market soon.” – Philliam88

“YTA – Not for getting a tattoo, but for how you went about it. You KNEW she wouldn’t like a neck tattoo, so you thought the best course of action would be to not even give her a heads up and just randomly get one anyway?”

“It sounds like you never considered her feelings at all in any of this, and I’m really not buying the whole, ‘She would kinda blush like I knew she would like it’, especially since she’s already made her dislike clear.”

“It’s your body, your choice, but not even letting her know what you were doing makes you an AH.” – Animalime

Overall, Redditors were in agreeance that even though the OP’s body was his to do with as he pleased, he was the a**hole for deliberately getting the tattoo on the specific part of the body his girlfriend strongly objected to.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo