We’ve all heard stories of sperm donors doing questionable things, whether it’s not disclosing family medical history or not disclosing they actually had a nose job to create that perfectly chiseled face.
However, Reddit user throwaway_tooshort, posited a new question for all of us to consider in a ‘sperm donor based’ post on the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP) asked:
“AITA for not telling my sperm donation recipient I had growth hormone treatment as a kid?”
It started out innocently enough.
“My parents are both tiny (mom is like 4’10” and dad is like 5’4”) and I was in something like the 1st percentile for height as a kid, so my parents decided to give me growth hormone treatment.”
“I ended up being average male height as an adult (5’10”).”
The OP began to realize perhaps he should’ve disclosed some additional facts.
“I donated sperm to an acquaintance a few years ago. I am not at all involved in her or her son’s life, besides receiving health updates every few months.”
“In the last update, she and her spouse reported that their son is very small for his age (3rd percentile for height at 5 years old), and that their pediatrician said that if he does not see a growth spurt within a couple years, growth hormone treatment should be something to consider.”
“The parents are surprised at this, because the mom is well above average height for women (I would estimate she is around 5’8”).”
Well, the OP decided to come clean.
“I wrote them back saying there is nothing to be concerned about because I had growth hormone treatment as a kid, so their child’s height is in line with my genetics.”
OP was surprised by the parent’s reaction to this news.
“I told them it worked well for me, so it is definitely something I endorse if they are worried about their child being undersized. The parents are both furious at me for not disclosing this beforehand, and said they would not have asked me to donate if they had known this ahead of time.”
But the OP defended the fact he hadn’t disclosed this information in advance of his sperm donation.
“I was never asked this in the fertility clinic’s lengthy screening process, and it was honestly something I never even thought to bring up. The parents are insisting I pay for the rather expensive hormone treatment if they decide to go that route; I will refuse if they ask.”
And finally the OP closed with the perennial AITA question.
“AITA for not disclosing, and WIBTA for refusing to pay?”
Redditors voted using these responses:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
A ton of people weighed in with the answer YTA.
“OP in the comments does say he was asked about medical history (OBVIOUSLY)… he didn’t disclose, YTA” – spaceballsthemusical
“YTA, full medical disclosure should be automatic, even if it wasn’t asked, in a case like this.” – CarpeCyprinidae
“YTA. I’m not saying I agree with anybody caring how tall their kid is, but you definitely should have disclosed that.” – FredinNH