Family asking for favors can be one of the most awkward situations. If they need help, many would want to help out, but when they don’t need it, it just leads to a weird confrontation.
Redditor whyamistillhere135 had the strange conversation with her sister about her student loans. The original poster (OP) was given a student loan to pay for school, but her sister wanted her to use it on something else.
OP declined and now her sister is giving her the silent treatment and OP is questioning her choice. To figure out if she was wrong, she’s asking the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit about her situation.
“AITA for not buying my sister a really expensive graduation present”
So what did OP’s sister ask for?
“Basically my (18 female) sister (25) asked me to buy her this £500 [$707.21] diamond necklace that she likes.”
“I was given a student loan by the government, so I could afford the necklace but I’m moving out next year and I live in a really expensive city and I plan on doing a study abroad next summer; so money’s gonna be kinda tight.”
“Also my parents can’t afford to help me financially, so I’ll be living off my loan. My sister was like £500 won’t make a dent in my bank account and she deserves it because she graduated university.”
“I told my sister no because I need to save my money and she called me stingy and hasn’t spoken to me in like a week, she literally ignores my whole existence.”
“My mum says I should just be the bigger person and apologise; but I don’t know what to say. Should I be like ‘sorry for not buying you a £500 gift’.”
“I actually think my sister should apologise, since she’s way older than me and she got loads of money from my grandparents for her graduation, so if she desperately needed this necklace she could just use that.”
“Do you think I should apologise or let her keep ignoring me?”
On the AITA subReddit, people are judged based on their actions in a situation. They tell their story and commenters give their opinions.
The judgement is passed based on one of the following comments:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP’s financial situation isn’t super great if she needed a student loan to go to college. She’ll need to save every penny, especially since she needs to pay for an expensive apartment in the city.
Her sister not just asking, but demanding such an expensive gift is beyond out of line.
Because of this, OP was voted to be NTA.
“NTA completely unreasonable request of a 25 year old adult to ask of their little sister who has just literally become an adult. Do not buy her this bracelet and do not apologise.”
“The fact that she’s toxic enough to give you the silent treatment for not instantly agreeing to her crazy demand is proof that shes entitled as hell. I would personally just laugh at her and her behaviour.”
“Is she planning on buying you a diamond necklace when you graduate then? Probably not.” – Yoghurtie
“I am sure it is not a financially sound decision to buy a 500 pound/600€/700$ luxury diamond necklace during a pandemic for basically passing classes.”
“I’m sure she worked hard for her degree, but you can’t afford it. It’s a student loan – and in some countries it is considered actual fraud if you don’t use the money for the intended purposes of the loan.”
“Your mother fosters terrible financial sense in your adult sibling and in my opinion chances are not bad that later in life both will end up with outrageously terrible credit or too broke to afford basic care for themselves.”
“Be afraid OP, this is a slippery slope into financial illiteracy and your sister thinks it’s a slip and slide.”
“NTA” – Mesapholis
“NTA you don’t owe her anything, not an apology and not a £500 anything especially if she acts like that towards you and she doesn’t get to throw a tantrum over not getting what she wants.”
“NTA BIG TIME. You are 18 years old and were given a student loan because your family can not provide from you financially. So because of this your sister is entitled for a neckless because she graduated?”
“If her own parents would have a really hard time buying something expensive for her how can she possibly thing it would be okay to basically demand you to get her something out of your loan.”
“A gift is something someone gifts another not something one demands the other to give them, that’s ridiculous. My goodness girl for being 18 you are doing great.”
“Your sister really needs to grow up though…. You have to understand what she did wasn’t just not cool, it is simply f*cked up….” – ItsTheBroski
However some people were really fascinated with the sister’s request. The audacity to demand a diamond necklace from her younger sibling, especially since it’s all student loan money, is beyond bold.
But it’s OP’s own feelings that are hurt most by the sister’s actions.
“NTA – Automatically so actually; anyone demanding gifts (regardless of their value, or the perceived impact on someone’s bank account) is by default the asshole.” – MondaySuccs
“I don’t know how to get her to stop ignoring me tho, it feels quite lonely at home these days” – whyamistillhere135 (OP)
“NTA your student loan is to fund your studies and expenses related to them, not to buy your sister a diamond necklace. That’s a ridiculous level of entitlement from your sister.” – redditor191389
“Ikr!!, £500 is like almost 3 weeks worth of rent!!” – whyamistillhere135 (OP)
“Exactly! For the record I absolutely don’t think you should apologise, you’ve done nothing wrong.” – redditor191389
OP’s sister was wrong to try and demand a gift, but it’s her reaction after the fact that really hurt. OP feels lonely and like she’s crazy for using her student loans on her schooling.
Sister needs to look in the mirror and ask why she feels entitled to her sister’s loan money.