Most of us have our ideas and preferences for how things work in our homes.
But sometimes when we have guests, they have their own ideas about what’s acceptable, confided the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor destinysrevenge233 was caught off-guard when the repairman renovating her family’s kitchen criticized her for not providing him with takeout when she got some for herself.
Thoroughly surprised by the critique, the Original Poster (OP) genuinely wondered if she had done something wrong.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for not buying the repairman food?”
The OP went out to get herself lunch.
“So my dad’s friend’s cousin is putting up new counters in our kitchen right now. I’ve never met the man until now so he’s basically a stranger.”
“Anyways so it’s just me and him here because parents are at work.”
“I left to go get Taco Bell and came back with the Taco Bell.”
The repairman called her out.
“I was making my way upstairs to my room to eat and he goes, ‘Any of that for me my chance?'”
“I thought he was joking, so I said, ‘Haha no…’ and started to make my way upstairs again.”
“Before I could, he stopped me and said, ‘Well, that’s bad hospitality. You could’ve offered. All of this equipment and saw work can get really tiring and if you want me to have the energy to make your kitchen look nice, I need fuel.'”
The OP was uncomfortable.
“I didn’t really know what to say after that, so I just said sorry.”
“He sighed and said, ‘That’s okay, but just know that’s not how you treat guests, lady.'”
“I went upstairs after that and felt really awkward and bad. But at the same time, I work minimum wage and had like 10 dollars to spend on food.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some pointed out the repairman was hired, not a guest.
“NTA. He is not a guest, he is a professional you have hired and is working. He should be bringing his own lunch.”
“You don’t bring lunch to the bank for a teller or a garage for a mechanic. Why would you do it for a kitchen fitter?”
“I would tell your dad what happened and that his behavior made you uncomfortable in your own home.” – emperorduffman
“Bulls**t. This is not a guest. This is a worker OP hired to perform work. Meaning the guy is not there to socialize and be OP’s buddy.”
“All of the contractors I’ve ever hired bring their own food and are expected to take care of their own needs. That being said, I always ask as a courtesy.”
“For the contractor to respond with, ‘Well that’s bad hospitality. You could’ve offered. All of this equipment and saw work can get really tiring and if you want me to have the energy to make your kitchen look nice, I need fuel,’ is just bad form, unprofessional and not expected for someone OP is paying for.” – BeeYehWoo
“Generally speaking, I think it’s good form to offer something to someone working in your home. I’d always offer a cup of tea and biscuits. A sandwich maybe if it was lunchtime.”
“But him lecturing you and calling you ‘lady’? H**l no. He’s not a guest.”
“It wrecks my head when people think they can speak to people like that because of age. I would lay money that he’d never have said that to your parents.”
“A guy who lectures you on how sawing etc works up an appetite somehow decides not to bring lunch with him? NTA.” – sweetdeereynoldxxx
Others thought the guy’s behavior was creepy.
“Your mom, so you are a kid (or teen) and he’s a grown man – I don’t think it was about food … Sounds like a man trying to get an ego boost.” – einat162
“Maybe he’s just a condescending prick, and he definitely wouldn’t have spoken to your like that if you weren’t female.”
“He is not your guest or employee, and you had nothing to do with him being there. Tell him he’s being rude and condescending if he tries such crap again, and walk away. Do not speak with him or listen to this crap.” – Lexia_extreme511
“Stay away! That’s a super creep factor knowing you’re a teen girl! Your parents should consider this when repair people come.”
“A friend of a friend is great and all until you realize most women are sexually assaulted by someone they know.”
“Make sure you tell your mom! Don’t glaze over it. She’s gotta see the ick factor!” – Wooden-Pitch1451
“That is very uncool and super creepy. Like when you look back on this story in 10 years, it will hit you hard how creepy this is. NTA.” – NarlaRT
“NTA. OP, this is not normal, and is not only extremely unprofessional but also incredibly creepy.”
“Your parents should have fired him on the spot when you told them. I know I would have felt very uncomfortable with him in the house by myself after that when I was your age. The audacity!” – Acceptable_Day6086
“I have a 16-year-old and we’ve had multiple service calls for our HVAC system, some of them lasting all day. Any service person/contractor who dared approach my daughter and said this s**t to her would’ve been fired immediately.”
“This guy isn’t a guest. He’s there to do a job and it certainly isn’t reprimanding my daughter and teaching her (his version of) etiquette. NTA.” – Captain-Philosopher6
After receiving feedback from the subReddit, the OP shared an update.
“I told my parents what happened and my mom was super shocked. She said she couldn’t believe the nerve of that guy.”
“My dad kind of laughed it off because he knew the guy was kind of weird. He told me he was one of those guys who didn’t understand social cues and didn’t know how to properly interact with others.”
“But anyway, he wasn’t fired because 1) he’s already halfway done and they said that’d be a hassle and they need it done by Thanksgiving, and 2) he’s a friend’s family member and they said it’d be rude.”
“My dad did contact him and told him that speaking to me that way was inappropriate and asked him not to do that again (probably in a nicer way than that, I wasn’t there for the conversation).”
“My mom said she’s not leaving me here by myself with him again and she’s sorry for doing that in the first place. She feels really bad.”
“I told her it’s fine and that she didn’t expect the guy to be a total creep.”
“He hasn’t been over since and I’m kind of scared because I feel it’s gonna be really awkward…”
“Anyways, thank you so much for all the nice and very helpful comments! If you guys hadn’t shown such support, I probably wouldn’t have brought this up with my parents.”
Though the OP thought she might have been selfish to not provide lunch for the repairman, the subReddit insisted she wasn’t. Not only was he already being paid for his services, but how he handled the situation was kind of unsettling.