Being comfortable and honest with your doctor or therapist is vital to getting an accurate diagnosis.
That’s why privacy and doctor-patient confidentiality is necessary, especially for teenagers. Even if some parents don’t understand it.
Redditor throwawayteenbean encountered this very issue with her mom. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for kicking my mom out of the room so I could talk to my doctor privately?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m gonna keep this short:”
“I (16F[emale]) have felt very anxious all of the time, feel really depressed, and so on. I’ve mentioned this to my mom, but she just told me that it’s in my head and that I’m fine.”
“So my mom took me to the doctor yesterday with my sister for checkups – and when I got the chance I had asked if I could speak with the doctor alone.”
OP’s mom got upset.
“Mom said she wanted to hear, and I said no and told her to get out of the room.”
“She told me she was my mother and needed to know what was going on, and I told her again to get out.”
“She reluctantly left the room with my sister. After the appointment, my mom accused me of hiding things from her and told me I needed to tell her ‘right now’ what was wrong. I said no.”
“She told my dad, who had a fit on me and said I was very rude and needed to apologize to my mother immediately.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“No, NTA. Doctors should ask parents of teens to leave the room at some point during appointments so they can talk freely.”
“It’s also important for teens to get used to speaking to doctors for themselves. Good medical practice in general, perfectly fine for you to do.” ~ Minimum_Fee1105
“Good doctors usually do. They know that with the parent present, the teen might not tell the truth and that might affect the diagnosis.”
“I’ve had that happen to me in the past, the doctor asked my parents to leave the room before he started asking me questions about my sex life.”
“Edit : forgot to say NTA.” ~ Nashiwa
“Even in x-ray we’re supposed to ask the pregnancy question away from parents so the teenager can be honest.”
“ETA: NTA” ~ kohns0
Some shared their personal experiences.
“This happened to me once in A&E and I still remember being infuriated. They asked me several times if I might be pregnant, but I had never had sex.”
“They asked me if I wanted my mum to leave, but I don’t mind talking about sex in front of her in a medical context – she’s a doctor and we’re close. They kept asking and then did a pregnancy test anyway.”
“I had appendicitis, so I understand the need to rule out pregnancy. But I hated how they didn’t believe me (I had never had sex at the time) and how if they were going to do a pregnancy test anyway, why not just save time and do it from the get go.”
“Edit:I feel I need to clarify, because I’m getting countless messages explaining how lots of people lie and many don’t know they’re pregnant. Yes, I agree, and I have no issue with them testing.”
“If they had asked once and then tested, I probably wouldn’t have remembered. The issue I took was the fact they asked over and over and then did the test anyway. Just do the test in the first place!” ~ Nougattabekidding
“You’d be surprised at how many people don’t understand the basics of sex and pregnancy.”
“I’m sorry you had to deal with that – one of my acquaintances is a doctor and when she went to the ER for stomach pains she also had to reassure them over and over again that she was not pregnant – but until they come out with a retinal-implant that pops up with a person’s relevant details when you see someone, they’ll have to treat everyone as the lowest common denominator to cover their a**es.” ~ squishbunny
“Is there any chance you’re pregnant?”
“What sort of contraception do you use?”