Everyone faces times when they need to essentially put their life on hold to be there for their family.
Some people from small families, who might not have siblings or cousins to help them out, might find themselves relied upon on an almost regular basis.
But occasionally, people from large families also often find themselves needing to help out family members for issues big or small, owing to the fact that their entire extended family is too busy, or simply can’t be bothered, to step up and help.
Redditor bashfulbloom initially didn’t mind helping out her cousin by watching her newborn baby every now and again.
But when a moment arose when the original poster (OP), simply wasn’t available to help out, she was met with a surprising reaction from her mother.
Wondering if she was, in fact, doing anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for snapping at my mother for asking me to cancel my trip to babysit my [cousin]?”
The OP shared how she wasn’t available to watch her cousin’s baby owing to an important trip, which wasn’t a good enough excuse for her mother.
“My (19 F[emale]) cousin (28 F) gave birth to a baby boy 4 months ago.”
‘For 2 months, she’s been dumping my nephew at our house to babysit him because she needs a job as soon as she can start working again.”
“Next week I have to go for a 5 day trip to a city where I’m starting university in a few weeks to set up my room in my friends apartment.”
“It’s new, and I already called people from the internet provider we’ll be using to help set up the router and TV.”
“I’ll be alone for the whole duration of my stay, and the city is 6 hours away so nobody can help me out.”
“My mother asked me this morning to babysit my cousin’s baby next Tuesday, I’d already be at the city, because my cousin has 2 job interviews.”
“I asked the mandatory ‘am I really the only person who can look after him?’, and to my shock, no.”
“Turns out my older sister, my cousins husband and her in-laws are all available.”
“I laughed in her face and told her no way in hell am I doing that, and she started screaming at me for being an ungrateful and irresponsible brat.”
“I snapped and told her I don’t care to look after someone else’s kid and that I have better things to do than babysit a 4 month old whose own dad is available to care for him.”
“My mother then argued it’s his only day off and her in-laws are conservative and think the father shouldn’t be bathing a kid or changing his diaper and I should be compassionate because of that.”
“I just told her I don’t give a crap and that’s not my business.”
“She later tried asking nicely for me to move my trip and I snapped, again, saying I don’t care for them enough to do that.”
“AITA?”
“Also to add this isn’t the first time I’ve been asked to sacrifice something for that family.”
“To explain why I snapped almost immediately.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to babysit her cousin’s baby.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s trip was too important to cancel, particularly as there were plenty of available potential babysitters, with many finding her family’s “conservative” beliefs to be sexist and antiquated, and others saying the baby’s father needed to step up to the plate.
“So your mom thinks being conservative means a husband and father can f*ck right off and a random teenage cousin should cancel plans to watch a kid that isn’t theirs?”
“Gross, stand your ground.”
“NTA.”- Brainjacker
“If they are conservative, then as a grandmother it is MIL and your mother’s duty to help her raise that child.”
“A mother’s job is never done”
“Their views, not mine.”
“NTA.”
“I’m curious to what your mother’s arguments are against your sister, your mother or your cousin’s MIL watching that child?”- CakeEatingRabbit
“NTA.”
“Guess what, he doesn’t get days off being a dad.”
“Not your baby, not your problem.”
“Make it clear that if you are going to be expected to take care of the baby then they can expect you will never be available.”
“Don’t ask if there’s anyone else to available to watch the baby anymore because they’ll just lie to you since now they know you have a spine.”- Natural_Garbage7674
“Your cousin has a husband.”
“It’s not called babysitting, it’s parenting.”
“The fact that they cannot grasp this is not your problem.”
“NTA.”
“Good luck at university.”- CriticalSimple3122
“NTA.”
“Their sexist views nor your cousin marrying and having a child with a sexist person is your responsibility.”
“Your mom sounds sexist as well since she is complicit with that mess.”- holisarcasm
“NTA.”
“You have actual plans, but even if you didn’t, it doesn’t matter.”
“No is a full sentence, they have plenty of other options.”- Far_Anteater_256
“NTA.”
“You didn’t have a baby, they did.”
“They need to look after that baby and the family needs to stop enabling them.”
“IDGAF how conservative people are.”
“The dad needs to be a father.”
“AND if they were truly conservative they would insist on that dad to be making enough to support his family.”
“They cannot have it both ways.”- squirlysquirel
“NTA.”
“You’re just being used and seriously, the kids father is useless.”- Nevyn-57
“Not your kid, not your problem.”
“NTA.”- armchairshrink99
“NTA.”
“Imma Sound probably rude but, why did they have a child when you just dump it to others WHEN ITS 2 MONTHS OLD.”
“I understand you have to make money but man, wheres the Father?”
“Can’t he work and make enough money for a short time.”
“I’m shocked every time again, as a German where the mum or dad stays at home with the kid for around a year, if not more, and gets support/still payed by their job from before.”- mrscatastrophe
“NTA.”
“You babysat when it works for you.”
“You have plans for your education.”
“Dad needs to suck it up and change a diaper.”
“It won’t kill him.”- MumSquared
“NTA.”
“Your poor cousin.”
“I hope she gets the job so she could be self sufficient soon enough to leave her loser of a husband, who cannot be bothered to stay with his own child for a few house, ever bathe them or change their diaper, under the guise of some religious conservative bullsh*t.”- dart1126
“So they are Conservative enough to think a man should not have to take care of his kid but don’t take issue with his wife having to work?”
“It’s almost like they think their son is special and should be treated as such.”
“For the record, I’m not saying mums shouldn’t work, but that those 2 beliefs often go hand in hand.”
“NTA .”
“As a dad of 3 I have no days off, neither does my wife and we both work too!”- RockNMelanin
“NTA.”
“Keep a careful eye on all your documents in case your mom tries to sabotage your trip.”
“Or your going to school.”- cassowary32
“NTA.”
“Others are available and your family need to get used to the fact that you wont be there soon.”
“Good luck at the new school!”- Lilod85
“Do Your thing tell the father to man the f up an look after his child, we are not in the dark ages regardless of what they believe.”- 13wade
“NTA.”
“And this ‘My mother then argued it’s his only day off and her in-laws are conservative and think the father shouldn’t be bathing a kid or changing his diaper and I should be compassionate because of that’ is insanity.”
“The man is really refusing to take care of his own child because his side of the family believe he shouldn’t have to?”
“And women are really going along with that?!?”
“No, you don’t enable that crap.”
“He has a day off to spend with his child, this is perfect timing.”- IllustratorSlow1614
“NTA.”
“NOT YOUR KID, NOT YOUR PROBLEM.”
“It apparently needs to be said again and again.”
“Enjoy uni life OP!”- MRavenclaw
“‘My mother then argued it’s his only day off’.”
“Yeah, I would laugh at that too.”
“Welcome to parenthood, my dude.”
“That’s exactly why some people choose to be child-free.”- Pale_Cranberry1502
Why everyone seems to think a teenage girl who is about to embark on her college career should be the only possible babysitter is confusing, to say the least.
And that her own mother felt she should make babysitting a priority is almost sad.
Particularly for the baby, who’s father apparently can’t be bothered.
Here’s hoping this family gives their “conservative” values a second thought, and the OP has a wonderful time at university.