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Teen Reports Teacher For Telling Her To ‘Control’ Her Period When She Asked To Go To The Bathroom

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Menstruating is a normal part of life for cisgender women, some transgender men and some non-binary people with a healthy reproductive system.

But despite its common occurrence, there are still many myths and misconceptions.

A 16-year-old girl was faced with her teacher’s ignorance of female reproductive health. Not sure she handled it appropriately, she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

Redditor PizzaPepparoni asked:

“AITA for reporting my teacher and potentially getting him fired?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My school requires us to keep our cameras on during the entire class. If we need to use the restroom we are supposed to privately message our teacher and ask to leave.”

“I have absolutely no issue with these rules as I understand that online teaching is hard and you have to make sure everyone is attentive during classes.”

“We also have this system where at the end of the week every student is emailed a Google document in which we are supposed to type out any problems we had with the classses during the week (eg – a teacher is favouring a student etc..)”

“On Thursday, I had a math class which was taught by ‘Mr T’. He’s never really been very strict and had always seemed quite reserved and quiet.”

“Of course, I’ve never been in a lesson with him outside of online school so I can’t really judge.”

“During the class I realized I had started my period. I privately messaged Mr T asking if I could use the restroom.”

“I waited for 10 minutes but he didn’t reply so I messaged him again, still no reply. By now I was getting extremely uncomfortable so I texted him for the third time explaining I had started my period and I really had to go.”

“He replies with this, ‘You should have planned better. Learn to control yourself’ uhhh… What?”

“I CAN’T control my period. I tried to explain that I couldn’t but he didn’t respond.”

“I got annoyed and switched of my camera anyways and left to the bathroom. Once I came back, I saw that he had kicked me out of the meeting.”

“I later found out the he had written me up for switching off my camera and I was given a warning. I was pissed.”

“Since it was a Thursday I received the google doc and I complained about Mr T in it.”

“Today (Tuesday) I found out, through my mother, who is also a teacher that Mr. T is being invesragted as there have been multiple complaints about his behavior and mine was apparently the last straw.”

“My dad, brother and few of my friends are calling me and an a**hole as I could’ve just waited for a while instead of complaining and potentially making a man lose his job, especially during this time.”

“I don’t know. I’m feeling really guilty now.”

“I don’t want him to lose his job. AITA?”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole.

“You didn’t make him lose his job. If it happens, he did it to himself.”

“Definitely NTA.” ~ needamemorablename

“I remember the one time I unexpectedly got my period during lunch break and I went to the male teacher I had after lunch to explain what happened and asked if I could go home to get clean underwear and pads and arrive late in class (probably about 10 minutes late).”

“We had a test that day, so I was really worried.”

“Poor man went beet red, but he told me to go home and not worry about the test, I could stay after class to finish the test if I hadn’t enough time after my return.”

“Even though he was uncomfortable, he didn’t say anything to make me feel bad, but he supported me, enabled me to take care of things and made sure I could take my test.”

“At the time I was happy and relieved, but stories like this make me realize how lucky I actually was.” ~ Trania86

“My second or third time getting my period I didn’t notice I started. This boy next to me?”

“I didn’t know him. He was very popular and funny and I was VERY uncool.”

“He fake dropped his pencil almost under my desk, leaned over and said ‘you need to go to the nurse’ quietly. I had a stain on my skirt and hadn’t known.”

“I managed to get to the nurse and clean up and I wasn’t teased or bothered. Thanks, Tyler.” ~ RunningTrisarahtop

“Yeah, unfortunately getting basic respect and understanding for uncontrollable bodily functions is ‘lucky’.”

“I got mine in the middle of a class once, and my male teacher told me that I was irresponsible and ‘should have used the bathroom before class instead of making out with my boyfriend’.”

“Just what every 14 year old needs, to be slut shamed and period shamed at the same time!” ~ Cgold13976

“At least have the decency to clam up and let a girl take care of her business! You don’t need to be an expert on menstruation to have basic empathy.” ~ unsanctimommy

“I had a teacher in high school who announced at the beginning of the semester that any girl who had any period related issues whatsoever just had to say or drop him a note saying ‘I gotta go’ and he’d excuse us from the class with no further explanation needed or wanted.”

“He was pretty awesome.” ~ chaunceyvonfontleroy

“NTA…your dad and bro should really take a biology class too…or just ya’ know be decent family members.”

Teach is obviously a d*ck or you would have been the first complaint, not the last.” ~ everydayimcuddalin

“Your dad, brother, and a few of your friends are a**holes. What the f’k are your dad a bro doing siding with your teacher?”

“I bet they wouldn’t want to sit and wait if they were in the same situation. So irritating.” ~ Corgi-Ambitious

“I thought it was just lovely how Dad, bro and friends all jump in to defend an abusive teacher, while implying that OP should just suck it up and sit there soaking in period blood. Great family support. *sarcasm*”

“Pack of arrogant, idiotic misogynists.”

“NTA OP. The teacher’s actions are what are getting him in trouble, not you.”

“This is a ‘blame the victim’ response from males around you.” ~ SarcasmCynic

The OP returned with an update.

“Oh my god! This post and its comments are such a relief.”

“I’ve been stressing over his supposed firing for the entire day. Thanks to everyone who commented, really helped me!”

“I’ve also sent this post to my dad and he hasn’t responded yet.”

No one who reports unacceptable behavior is responsible for any consequences the person who chose to act unacceptably faces.

If a person gets in trouble for their actions, they are solely to blame.

Written by Amelia Mavis Christnot

Amelia Christnot is an Oglala Lakota, Kanien'kehá:ka Haudenosaunee and Metís Navy brat who settled in the wilds of Northern Maine. A member of the Indigenous Journalists Association, she considers herself another proud Maineiac.