Blended families aren’t always the Brady Bunch.
In some cases it’s more like Cinderella and her sisters.
A 19-year-old woman struggled with the family dynamics between herself, her mother and her half-brother. Unsure she handled things properly, she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Redditor Routine_Junket1040 asked:
“AITA for selling my family home because my pregnant [sister-in-law] (SIL) ate my dinner?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I know sh*tty title but I’m in a rush to get to work. Also I want to point out me and my brother have two different fathers.”
“I lost my father last year to cancer. He left me 90% of his stuff including his family home that was left to him by his dad.”
“It’s been in their family for over a hundred years. My brother (34) and my dad didn’t have a relationship, but he did leave him 10k. My mom was pissed at the will reading but since she got 10k she couldn’t do anything about it.”
“For the past year me and her live ok together. She went on acting like it was her house like before which I had no problem with till in May my brother and his girlfriend (30) moved in (without even asking me).”
“They’re messy, entitled and rude. I told them in July I want them out by September because they don’t pay for anything nor wash a dish.”
“In August they announced they were pregnant and my SIL smugly said ‘guess we won’t be moving out now’. It didn’t go down well, but when I told them I wanted them out my mom and brother basically laughed in my face.”
“Well the past few months have been hell. They’ve become worse than before and my mom enables it then demands me to treat my SIL like a princess because she’s pregnant.”
“I once had to wait outside McDonald’s ’til they opened to get her a McMuffin.”
“Well here is where I may be the a**hole. Because my SIL is pregnant she eats everything she sees.”
“Like the cupcakes my friend made me for my birthday, she ate all six. I didn’t even get to try them.”
“I can’t even make my lunch the night before because when I go to get it, it will be gone. She’ll have a smug look on her face while rubbing her belly then laugh and say ‘I couldn’t help my self blame the baby’.”
“If I put stuff in my room, my mom will open the door with the spare key so SIL can go through my mini fridge.”
“Well a week ago I was running late to college. I didn’t have time for my breakfast or to make lunch and I had to go to work straight after so all I had that day was a bar of chocolate.”
“When I got home I was starving. I made myself dinner. While it was cooling down I went to use the bathroom.”
“I must have been in there 10 minutes at most. By the time I came out she had 70% of my dinner ate and I literally lost my sh*t.”
“Of course she started crying. My mom and brother started screaming at me for making her cry, making excuses like how she couldn’t help it and it was my fault for leaving food around her.”
“Well I had enough. I told them get out.”
“Just like before I got mocked.”
But here’s the thing—back in October my uncle offered me a life changing amount of money for the house. I called him up crying a few days ago, explaining the situation.”
“He said he’d buy the house, but he will evict my mom and brother. They of course didn’t take it too well and I have had to stay with a friend.”
“I’ve been receiving texts and I’m being tagged in multiple posts on social media. I’m starting to think I’m the bad person now.”
“So AITA for making my mom and brother homeless?”
The OP added more information later.
“If I sell the house to my uncle, I will lose 100k. But he’s always been good to me and it’s one of those situations where I’d sleep better knowing it’s gone to someone in my dad’s family.”
“My mom told me because of my age I wouldn’t be taken seriously if I tried to evict them.”
“If I evict them and continue to live in the house—along with the high financial costs—I don’t think they’d ever let me live in peace.”
“My mom has health issues and my SIL will have to move in with her parents. They won’t allow my brother so I’d be splitting up a young family in my mom’s words.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA at all and I’m very proud of you for standing up for yourself.” ~ Jareth47
“I am super proud of you! I think this is a smart choice.”
“These people have shown their true colors and now you can go on and plan your life without them. Sorry about your dad.” ~ Mis_Bee_Have
“I would get the house valued independently by several agents. If your Uncle’s offer is reasonable and in line with the valuations then take it, but don’t feel you have to sell to get rid of them.”
“Serve them a notice of eviction now, it will be easier for the Uncle if you do sell if they are not still there. Go to a solicitor and get them out!”
“NTA, whilst you are there, get a restraining order against them, they sound like wackos.” ~ Psychological-Pie938
“NTA. To be honest you should have gotten legal papers drawn to evict them and involve the cops because it seriously seems like they were emotionally abusing you.” ~ Teacherofnothing
“NTA split the motherf’kers up my gal.”
“I trained my 4 month old puppy to wait for my command to eat. Your pregnant SIL has two brains in her and less brain cells than my dog.” ~ radish__gal_
“Because of how stressed out you are, and how quickly your Uncle has swooped in to ‘save’ you from this situation, I am dubious of your entire family.”
“Owning a home is incredible at your age. There are also many MANY less tangible benefits to owning your own home that are more than just the value of the property. Security. Freedom. No mortgage.”
“Your father set you up with the best possible scenario to live well for a very long time if you play your cards right. I would not give this up without a vicious fight.”
“My first reaction is to follow the connections. Is Uncle your Mom’s brother, or your Dad’s? How is his relationship with your mother?”
“Could they be possibly working together in a good cop/bad cop situation to get you to give up ownership of the house out of frustration? Is Uncle offering market value or above for the house? Less?”
“Evicting a tenant is stressful, but it can be done. These people aren’t your family anymore.”
“They are abusive tenants who are destroying YOUR home. Your father left it to you, so you could have a good start to your life.
“Not them. Would he want to see you treated this way? You have to get them out.” ~ iHeal4Coffee
“NTA. They stomped all over you man, they didn’t treat you like family so why should you treat them that way?”
“You’re fine mate, your uncle is the one evicting them not you.” ~ LeviaCain
“I would caution against making a decision as huge as selling a home when emotions are high. It sounds like a solid offer from your uncle, but speak with a realtor to ensure you are getting a fair offer.”
“I would also highly recommend you get a plan in place for rolling the money into a stable investment that will last, whether it’s a home or long term investments. Also consider if you really want to permanently part with your father’s home.”
“You could always evict your brother and rent it out until a time that makes sense to live back in.”
“Edit- OP states uncle is offering $100k less than estimated worth. This is a hit too large to take in my opinion just to get rid of SIL.”
“If you can’t stand up to them in your own home, are you going to be able to stand up to them when they beg and plead and lay on the emotional manipulation for the cash you get out of the house?”
“Step 1: you need to lay out some boundaries that will be enforced immediately. SIL doesn’t touch your things or your food.”
“Mom stays out of your room and does not get a key. If anyone breaks these rules, you move toward immediate eviction proceedings.”
“Step 2: speak with a lawyer and become better educated in eviction law. Be prepared to serve 30 day notice to your brother and SIL, and mom if necessary.”
“Step 3: brother needs a plan to move out. If he knows you are serious about resorting to eviction, he will figure something out. You are not his only option, you’re just the cheapest one.”
“Step 4: get a therapist. You need to talk to someone impartial. It sounds like your family has beaten you down for many years.”
“You need to have someone in your court who can help you build yourself back up. This will be impossible to do living in close quarters with ungrateful people who treat you with no respect.”
“Step 5: figure out what you want to do with your house. There is a lot of space between selling and living with your miserable family.”
“You could rent it out for awhile and live alone in a smaller place. This would actually be my recommendation.”
“You could get away from your family, maintain your home equity, and rent someplace smaller and more peaceful for yourself.”
“No matter what you do, don’t let your mom or brother manipulate you out of your home or earnings from your home.”
“Your father left this to you to build your future. Don’t let them ruin it for you!” ~ arkieg
“NTA. Your mooching a** family can f’king pound sand and get lost.”
“They clearly think you’re a kid and a pushover so they gonna learn today.”
“All they had to do was treat you and your home and possessions with respect and common human decency but they’ve shown that they’re greedy and callous.”
“They’d probably guilt you into babysitting as well if you let them stay so toss em out now.”
“If any of em give you lip ask em what they did with their part of the inheritance.”
“Surely they didn’t think you’d be cool with living with them forever so they can scrape together whatever change they have and get their own place.” ~ plumeria1
“NTA. And heh, I am impressed!”
“Sleep on it, 100k is a somewhat large loss (yet, it don’t have to be as bad as it sounds, it can cost a fair share to sell a house). And, get a lawyer to set up the contract between you and your uncle.”
“Then? Pickle down 90-95 % or more for a year, spend the rest on housing, rest, chocolate, and give yourself time to think.”
“DO NOT WASTE THE MONEY! You will most likely never, ever get a similar chance in life.” ~ MistressLyda
In the end the OP thanked their fellow Redditors for their support.
Guys I’m actually crying I’ve never been told before ‘I’m proud of you’ and the fact I’ve seen a thread of comments telling me that means the absolute world to me.
I plan to meet a lawyer and will update you all as soon as I’ve news.
The OP added the assessed value of the house.
“Since people are curious the house is worth 2.5 million. It’s in the heart of London.”
That means her uncle is offering her 2.4 million. That information—shared after most of the comments were made—would likely change a lot of the responses telling her not to sell.
“NTA, as long as you’re getting the fair market value for the house you are good to go! At 19 paying utilities, taxes and maintenance on a house could be a burden.”
“Put that cash in a retirement account, re-invest the interest and when you’re ready to retire you could be a multimillionaire.” ~ 666POD