Teasing is a part of many sibling relationships, but sometimes people can take it way too far. A woman on Reddit had exactly this sort of conflict with her sister’s fiancé, who teased her about her height and weight so much that she decided to renege on being in their wedding.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by Just_Mastodon2674 on the site, wasn’t sure about how she handled the situation, so she went to the (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for input.
“AITA for dropping out of my sisters wedding?”
“I(15F[emale]) just dropped out of my sister’s (19F) wedding and my family is pissed. My sister is getting married to her fiancé(20M[ale]) in one week and now I have dropped out leaving her without a bridesmaid.”
“I never wanted to be a bridesmaid from the beginning and I made that very known as I don’t like standing up in front of people and tend to avoid social interaction all together but my mother has forced me to be a bridesmaid.”
“The main reason I did not want to be a bridesmaid tho is because of future BIL. We have never got along all tho I have tried many times to find common ground to get along with him.”
“Tho he always makes backhanded comments about my height and weight and my family just passes over them saying he’s joking.”
“My height and weight is something I’m very insecure about because I’m short and chubby while the rest of my family is on the leaner and taller side of things.”
“Today was the final straw when BIL made a backhanded comments out of no where comparing me to an Oompa Loompa in front of about 20 people. I quickly removed myself from the situation leaving the room and sitting outside to calm down.”
“That still didn’t stop him from coming outside to tease me even more. And that was the straw that broke the camels back.”
“I told them they could find someone else to be a bridesmaid because I wasn’t doing it. He then went and told my friends and family, who is now pissed at me for refusing to be a bridesmaid.”
OP then came back with an update.
“Sister just came outside and yelled at me saying I have no reason to drop out of the wedding and saying I should just suck it up since it’s her wedding not mine”
People on Reddit were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this conflict using the following acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And as you might guess, they were emphatically on Team OP.
“NTA. oh boy… ‘kids’ can be so mean. And die BIL obviously is. Why is your sister not taking your side and telling him to f**** off? Srsly! If someone spoke to my sister like that they would defenitely get an earful!”
“Do what makes you happy. I think it’s sad you’re not going to be a bridesmaid but if you don’t want to do it then that’s your choice. If it’s only because of the jerk please think about it again.”
“And please feel hugged?! Sorry nobody’s standing up for you but it seems like you’re doing a good job yourself!” —NeedleworkerSuch9895
“oh yeah, if an s/o spoke to anyone that way it’d be an instant dealbreaker for me, let alone someone I love and care about. that person would be dumped instantly, do not pass go, do not collect $200.”
“at 15 I imagine OP doesn’t have much choice, but at 31 I wouldn’t even go to the wedding of someone who treated me that way. it’s absolutely abominable behavior and I’m horrified that OP’s family aren’t standing up for her. NTA, OP, and I hope you get a better “chosen family” someday to replace your crappy family of origin!” —rogue144
“NTA. This guy has insulted you again and again. He is not teasing you. He is bullying you. You have no obligation to be in someone’s wedding who treats you like that. Tell your ‘friends’ that one of them can volunteer to be a bridesmaid and you very much hope that THEY will not be mistreated.” —patjames904
“I read the title and I read your age and I immediately said NTA. After reading your situation, I double down on NTA. You don’t mention age of BIL, but regardless of age your family should have put a stop to this a LONG time ago.”
“This kind of joking is crossing a HUGE line and honestly I’m worried about you. You did the right thing. I know you probably cant get away from them now, but try to move out ASAP because they will continue not to respect your boundaries.”
“It was so impressive how you left instead of confronting him in front of everyone. Im also short and a lil chubby too, and Idk if I’d been able to handle it with as much decorum as you did.” —SorryThatsPrivate
“The guy is treating you with disrespect. It is appallingly rude to make personal remarks like this to anyone but cruel to to do so to a teenage girl.”
“If your family and your sister do not support you when he behaves this way then I do not see what else you can do.”
“Consider carefully how you will feel about missing out on your sisters wedding though.”
“Do what is best for you. It is OK for you to have boundaries and to refuse to put up with disrespect.” —AeronwenTrewent
“NTA. …but sadly, it seems like that everyone in your family is. Don’t worry, they will divorce sooner than you’d think. They are just kids.” —zsyross
After reading some of her fellow Redditors’ responses, OP came back again to thank them.
“I’m trying to read all of your comments but I want to thank all of y’all for the support already. <3”
Good on OP for standing her ground.