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This Couple Got So High On Bath Salts They Shot At ‘Alien Lasers’ That Were Really Just Fireflies

Normally, Florida easily takes the gold in the weird-news Olympics. But Pennsylvania is giving the sunshine state a run for its money in today’s news thanks to one young couple, a lot of bath salts, and an alien invasion.

30-year-old Jesse Shields and 22-year-old Katherine McCloskey got high on bath salts and ended up involving neighbors and police in their bad trip.

For the couple, it was a bit like this, but without the cotton candy… bummer.

Psychedelic Cotton Candy GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

After ingesting bath salts, the couple decided to take in the beautiful sights and sounds of nature. Unfortunately for them, the psychoactive traits in bath salts aren’t as “predictable” as they are with LSD or “magic mushrooms” and their trip went WAY sideways.

The pair found themselves surrounded by fireflies. Had they been not-on-bath-salts the scene would have probably been idyllic.


Start Grave GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

But they were on bath salts. 

So the glowing Pennsylvania night looked less like a romantic scene from a movie (probably starring Meg Ryan or Sandra Bullock) and a lot more like this:

Mars Attacks GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

The pair were completely convinced that the fireflies were lasers being shot at them from  approaching alien invaders. At first, they tried grabbing guns and firing back at the “aliens” but that didn’t help.

The “laser beams” just kept firing!

Next, they ran to a neighbor’s house where they begged them to call the cops because something was chasing them!

Rather than wait for police reinforcements to fight off the invading alien hoard, the pair broke a window and fled to another neighbor’s house … where they broke another window.

That second neighbor was able to get the gun away from Mr. Shields, who then asked to take a shower because the alien goo he had on him was burning his skin.

Makes sense, we suppose. Police say the pair were not able to post bail and both went to jail.

Needless to day, Twitter had some thoughts… 

Folks, bath salts are bad, mmmkay?


H/T: Twitter, WBOY News


Written by Erica Diaz

Erica is the consummate cool-kid. She’s so cool that she’s been talked about in magazines, on blogs and on the radio after losing her left eye because of a piece of glitter. She is still actively mourning the passing of Prince and hopes to one day do an all-iguana remake of Graffiti Bridge since iguanas are plentiful near her home in South Florida. She has yet to find one that can really nail the “ahhhyayayeaheaheah” that Tevin Campbell does in Round and Round, and everyone knows the music is the important part of any Prince film. She’s a mother, singer, writer and (if the internet is to be believed - which we all know it is) a Nigerian socialite mid-ranking member of the Illuminati. She prides herself on being the most popular one-eyed rock star under 5 ft tall in pretty much any room she walks into.