No matter how many times the concept is explained, some people just seem to refuse to understand how gender works—and it causes all kinds of drama for society and families alike.
A teenage Redditor with a transgender sister found herself in precisely this situation on a family camping trip when the adults refused to allow her sister to sleep in the girls’ section of their tent.
So she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit to see if she handled the situation correctly.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by the name transsisthrowaway on the site, asked:
“AITA for moving my trans sister into my “room” on our camping holiday?”
“Disclaimer: this happened over a year ago, before the pandemic, but came up again recently. I have put ages as they were when this happened. I’m not sure if this is the right sub because I stand by my actions but want to see what other people think.”
“In 2019, I (cis 16F[emale]), my sister (trans 14F), brother (15M[ale]), and parents (40sM&F) went camping for a week with my aunt and uncle (40s and 50sM&F) and cousins (13M and 15M). Everyone except my sister is cis.”
“My parents had a tent, my aunt and uncle had a tent, and us ‘kids’ shared my aunt and uncle’s large tent.”
“When we got there, the large tent had been divided into two rooms. I was given one and my sister was expected to share with the boys (our brother and cousins).”
“Just to note here, me and my sister are very close. Even when she was a ‘boy’, she was basically my sister, and we did everything together (my brother preferred to spend time with his friends). We are completely comfortable changing clothes in front of each other but not the boys.’
“Anyway, my sister was upset so I tried to fix the problem with the adults. But my aunt just said that the rooms were best left as they were and made an excuse to go and do something else. My parents understood my sister’s problems but just said ‘their tent, their rules’ and said that she should try to enjoy the holiday as best as she could.”
“Obviously, this was going to ruin her holiday. So I moved her airbed over to my ‘room’ and asked the boys to not tell the adults. They were cool with keeping the secret and we packed up our tent early on the last day so no adults knew what happened.”
“However, not long after, my aunt and uncle asked their boys about how it was sharing a tent. One of them said something like ‘it was fine, the girls had their space and we had ours’. My cousins then had to say what happened and they both got grounded for a week for lying.”
“My parents were pretty annoyed at me and my sister, especially as me, since I’m meant to be the responsible one in that situation. Everything was eventually resolved, but it was mentioned recently in a family Zoom call, and I want more opinions as to whether I did the right thing (even though I would do it again if I had to).”
“So, Reddit, AITA for moving my trans sister into my ‘room’ when camping.”
OP later updated her post with more information.
“So me and my siblings spoke to my parents about this incident again. We’ve also been speaking to our cousins. So I will update and answer a couple of concerns I think a few people had.”
“My sister spoke to our parents about how she feels about this incident and other stuff. Me and our brother backed her up.”