A year ago, Redditor Sad-Pomegranate2183 posted on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit, concerned about her stepsister’s hyperfixation on using her wedding dress.
The Original Poster (OP) refused for a variety of reasons to let her stepsister use her dress, but her stepsister continued to push the issue.
You can see the post from the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit here:
“I (23 Female) got married to my husband about a year ago. It was wonderful and probably the happiest day of my life.”
“My family was involved with everything, and I was delighted by it. This included my stepfather, who I had a somewhat rocky relationship at first, but I grew to appreciate him.”
“His daughter (26 Female) is an entire different story. We can’t get along. I’ve tried and I’m sure she also has, but it’s not about being different, it’s because she has always had very similar tastes as me. We used to fight about our clothes, our toys, and so on.”
“She has a relationship with a man whom I’ve gotten to know maybe three or four times. She announced her relationship with him during my wedding (which annoyed me at first, but I let it go since it was only a 20-second announcement), and became engaged just four months after that.”
“Now, she has been planning her wedding, and I’ve tried to help as much as I can since I already had most contacts fresh. She plans to marry the day after Christmas, so I thought everything was set and ready to go.”
Then the OP’s stepsister made an impossible request.
“On Saturday, she called me crying, saying that her wedding dress wouldn’t arrive on time since she had some changes made.”
“For some context, no one knows how this dress looks because she wanted to ‘keep it a surprise for everyone,’ per her own words.”
“I tried to comfort her, and I told her I knew some cute boutiques that had nice wedding dresses ready for her date. She cries harder, telling me she didn’t want any ‘cheap’ dress.”
“I tried to calm her down once more before telling her I would call my stepdad to see what we could do. Before I could finish that sentence, she says out of the blue, ‘Can I wear your dress?'”
“I didn’t respond, because I didn’t know how to. She goes on, explaining that it would make things less troubling, how she’s the same size as me, and how much she loved it the second she saw it on me.”
“I don’t know what possessed me to simply say, ‘No,’ and hang up the phone, but I did.”
“I’ve received multiple calls from her, her fiancé, and my stepdad, who I did respond to. He pleaded to me to let her ‘borrow’ my wedding dress, ‘just like when we were kids.'”
“I tried to explain to him that my wedding dress was very special to me, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting anyone else in it, unless it was my decision. He got super angry with me and hung up. My messages have been exploding with my stepsister, her soon-to-be husband, and my stepdad telling me how horrible I am for being so selfish.”
The OP felt reluctant to help her stepsister.
“I know how my stepsister is. I know how dramatic and over the top she can be when she doesn’t get her way. But there’s a part of me that feels awful for not letting her wear it since it’s just a dress and it would make her so happy.”
“But there’s that other part of me that remembers how my husband, my mom, and I struggled to save for it because it was my dream dress, and I don’t want to share something so personal with her. Should I just let her have it, just so things don’t escalate?”
Redditor Sad-Pomegranate2183 later updated that post. She agreed to meet up with her stepsister to talk, hoping that they could reconcile their differences, only for her stepsister to threaten to break into her home to steal the dress if she wouldn’t give it to her willingly.
You can see the update here:
“Well. That happened. I arrived at a coffee shop just in time. She took half an hour to get there.”
“I talked as gently as I could with her, explaining how I didn’t want her to wear my wedding dress and why, since it was so emotionally attached to me.”
“She went absolutely nuts. She called me a selfish cow, telling me how I’m the most horrible human ever.”
“I tried to calm things down until I just couldn’t do it anymore. I knew this was a possibility, so as soon as she started crying, I pulled out her wedding invitation and gave it back to her. I told her I wouldn’t be attending the wedding, but I hoped it all went perfectly.”
“Her voice couldn’t get louder at this point. She threatened to come to my house and take it from me. I simply left the coffee shop without saying another word, and now I’m home.”
Now, just over ten months later, Sad-Pomegranate2182 has reappeared on Reddit, this time sharing her story on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit, with an unfortunate update.
Sometimes, people are so eager to be able to reconcile with their loved ones, they’re willing to ignore major red flags, only to own up to the warning signs when it’s too late, cringed the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Sad-Pomegranate3183 agreed to attempt to reconcile with her stepsister again by inviting her into her home and allowing her to borrow an outfit for a big event.
But when the Original Poster (OP) realized her stepsister had used her kindness to distract her so she could steal the wedding dress she never got to borrow, she decided to report her stepsister and sue her.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for suing my stepsister after she stole my wedding dress?”
The OP and her stepsister tried to rebuild their relationship after her stepsister got married.
“Per my last post, my (24 Female) stepsister (27 Female) got married last December, and she asked for my wedding dress after not wanting to even look for one herself.”
“I said no, I stood my ground, and I didn’t go to her wedding.”
“Fast forward to last month, she and her husband have separated. She says they are only ‘taking a break.'”
“I began to rebuild my relationship with her, I took time and effort to find a way to talk to her and even go out on double dates with his husband and mine.”
“That went really well, up until the break she took with her hubby. She stopped talking to me altogether, ghosted me when I wanted to plan stuff, and I figured she only needed some time.”
The OP hoped that having her stepsister over would make a big difference.
“Up until she calls me again, in the middle of August. She wants to come over to my house and talk. I genuinely felt happy to have her come over, since my stepdad kept pressuring me to finally make peace.”
“She comes over, we have coffee, and she asks to see my closet since she was going out on a date and had nothing to wear. I thought this was a full circle moment for both of us, so I said yes.”
“I have a fairly large walk-in closet that gave us both room to be inside of and to browse. We looked through my clothes and I picked something that went well with her. She said thanks and put the outfit in a bag she brought with her, and left.”
Then the OP realized what her stepsister did during her visit.
“Some days pass, and as I was cleaning my own closet, I found that the spot where my wedding dress was hanging from, was empty. It was in a garment bag, and it had been there since I didn’t want it to wrinkle so bad, since the fabric was a little fragile.”
“I freaked out, searched for it everywhere. I realized the last time I saw it was before my stepsister came.”
“I called her and asked sincerely in case I was wrong, she got extremely defensive and hung up the phone.”
“I called my stepdad, and he was angry at me for thinking she could do that.”
The OP was expected to handle this like an adult.
“Later, my stepdad calls again. He got my stepsister to tell the truth. She stole it while I was looking for an outfit for her.”
“He tells me to calm down and to resolve this like adults, but I called her again and simply said to prepare her lawyers.”
“This created massive drama within my family, and I was too livid to acknowledge it until my mom called me.”
“Now, I’m thinking I may be crossing a line, but that dress means too much to me. I saved every penny I got, and it truly was the dress of my dreams. I’m scared to find out if she did anything to it.”
“AITAH for suing my stepsister?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some urged the OP to act fast.
“NTA. She’s a thief and she will be treated like one.”
“OP should TEXT her immediately, stating: ‘You need to return the stolen wedding dress immediately from my home undamaged within today/24 hours to avoid police action and legal action for any damages. This dress was expensive and would be a felony in our state. You not returning this stolen property will result in a police report and legal action for damages. You also need to return the other dress that I let you borrow. I will not ask you again.'”
“I say TEXT her, not give her a second chance, but a Text will likely get her to respond, her response is evidence for your police report.”
“Consider using the cc option to include stepdad. If he responds to her without changing the ‘respond to all’ option, you will have his response to her, which could be more evidence. He might help her return your property, which is good/better for you.”
“NTA.” – Dismal-Remote-3906
“NTA. You should act on this immediately. I would also text your stepdad and mom to let them know what your plans are, and they better make sure your dress is returned as is.” – Alarmed-Audience-407
“Text this to mom and stepdad:”
“‘This isn’t a teenage squabble between sisters. She didn’t borrow my favorite top without asking. She entered my home under false pretenses and stole one of my possessions. The item she stole not only holds sentimental value to me, it also holds monetary value. The dress she stole is worth thousands of dollars, and if she doesn’t return it immediately, undamaged, then she will owe me several thousand dollars. I am willing to involve the courts to get my property back if I have to.'”
“‘She has betrayed my trust and stolen from me. I cannot trust her anymore, and I do not want to be a part of her life for the foreseeable future. She is the one who did this damage to our relationship, not me, and I expect you to respect my desire not to interact with her.'”
“Any responses they write to you can be further proof of your sister’s guilt for filing purposes.” – readthethings13579
“Create a trail of communication and also mention the other people who know she stole it, so that when the time comes, those people can also write saying they know she stole it. As much evidence against her trifling ass as possible.”
“She’s gross. Never give her another chance, OP. She was sitting on her hate for you, until you trusted her enough to let her in your closet. No contact after you sue her.”
“Definitely go after more than the cost of the dress. Include the anguish and sentimental value of it as well. You might want to see if you can press charges. I mean, I would.” – BizarreCujoh
“Text her and demand the dress back, immediately and unharmed. If she does not return it, file that report. She is a thief and needs to pay for her crime. The price of a dream wedding dress is most likely a felony in most states. NTA.” – Frequent_Couple5498
Others agreed and felt the family needed a new definition for “acting like an adult.”
“NTA. I honestly can’t believe that an adult would steal a freaking dress and NOT expect to get sued like a thief.” – SouthCelebration608
“My ‘favorite’ part is stepdad telling OP to handle this like an adult.”
“Well, last I checked, adults get arrested for theft. Adults show up to court when sued or face the consequences. Adults don’t steal wedding dresses in the first place, at least not well-adjusted ones.”
“I’d be giving stepsister 24 hours to return my dress in the exact condition I last saw it in, and if stepdad and mom have any issues with that, then they better get on stepsister’s a** immediately because scorched earth is the only reasonable response to someone like this.” – BlueRaith
“I think people tend to downplay this kind of theft because it’s ‘just clothing’ but wedding dresses can be insanely expensive. Like thousands of dollars expensive. That’s like if someone walked off with your tv, computer and gaming consoles.”
“Hope OP doesn’t cave to whines of ‘but faaaamily!’ and goes after that thief.” – sadcrocodile
“NTA, call the police and file a report for the full value of the dress and tell them both she and your stepfather acknowledged she stole it from your closet.”
“Her marriage is ending but she still thought to steal your dress. This chick is cracked.” – Beneficial-Sort4795
“NTA. She might be doing this to pawn it, sell it, destroy it, etc. The wedding has passed, so there isn’t any clear reason she took it to return it later. Hopefully, she took it to have it, and it is safe in her closet or trunk.”
“She committed a crime, and lawyers should be involved. First, you should work on a police response. With an expensive wedding dress, depending on the dollar amount, she could be committing a felony.”
“If she doesn’t return it, you could press charges, and if convicted, she could go to jail for years. Fines of thousands of dollars. This should all be the incentive she needs to return it, and if she doesn’t, she deserves the consequences. Police may say you should work it out yourselves, but if you insist on pressing charges they should charge with a felony.”
“She manipulated you. She took advantage of your kindness to hurt you. Not all family members are worth forgiving, and this is absolutely something to take a stand on. You explained several times and ways what this meant to you.”
“You welcomed her back into your life. You have tried being the bigger person on several occasions, trying to talk it out, and to let her borrow clothes. She takes advantage of ‘family forgives’ and will only do more if you don’t follow through. Get the lawyer ready.” – Equivalent-Ad1173
From reconciling to double dates to inviting her stepsister into her home and allowing her to borrow another article of clothing, fellow Redditors were furious on the OP’s behalf that she had done so much for her stepsister, only for her to be stolen from.
The hope was loud and clear that the OP would stand up for herself, report her stepsister for her terrible actions, and never allow her stepsister in her life again.
And honestly, she might need to take another look at her relationships with other family members since they were so quick to defend the sister and expect the OP to accept her actions, no matter the cost.