in , ,

Guy Furious After Wife Converts Spare Bedroom Into Office So His Family Can’t Stay With Them

Tom Werner/GettyImages

Space is important.

Home space, work space, we need the room to be.

And nowadays home space and work space are one in the same.

So when people start to take advantage of that space, drastic measures maybe required.

Case in point…

Redditor TAgamingroom443 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for setting an office/gaming room in the spare bedroom meaning not all my in laws can stay over?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (28 F[emale]) am married to Nick (30 M[ale]).”

“I work from home and earn significantly more than Nick, as he decided to pursue his education and is currently in apprenticeship.”

“The house where we live is my parents old 4 bedroom house which was gifted to me when I turned 18 as they had to move in with my nan due to her health back then.”

“Now they have her house which is significantly bigger.”

“After the sale and before meeting Nick I have done a full renovation for it to look more modern.”

“Currently me and Nick have joined savings for a new/better house and I have also got a decent amount that I saved myself.”

“As the house is a gift and mortgage free, we only pay the bills, which allows us to save more.”

“In no way or form we are struggling for money and are still able to afford holidays and such.”

“Now Nick came from a large family and since the lock down ended (about a year ago) they started coming to see us and stay over every other week.”

“It got to the point where I feel cramped in my own house due to how many people there are and due to how much space they take.”

“Sometimes they overstay their welcome making it nearly impossible for me to work or concentrate on my hobbies.”

“I’m not mentioning the amount of cooking and tidying up when they are staying or after they left.”

“After they left last time I have decided I have enough, took some time off work and converted the smaller bedroom into an office/gaming room which also has a library space and a cozy sofa for me to chill.”

“I finished soundproofing it just before this weekend.”

“Nick noticed my workstation has gone but haven’t asked anything.”

“Last weekend my in laws came in again and I have told Nick some will have to book a hotel as we don’t have space.”

“That’s when he saw my office.”

“Him and his family got upset and they decided to stay at the hotel instead and it was godsedt to be able to relax in my own house for once over the weekend.”

“I was able to catch up with some work too.”

“Yesterday after they left Nick called me an a**hole for setting a office and not telling him anything.”

“He also demanded I need to return to my previous arrangement and convert it back into the bedroom.”

“I have reminded him I work from home and need a quiet space to work.”

“As well as its my parent’s house and he has never asked me if I’m okay with his family being over so much.”

Nick has been sleeping in one of the spare bedrooms and stopped talking to me.

“As apparently I have crossed the line and am a**hole for saying that about his family.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“NTA. Nick can take his part of the savings and go live with his parents.”

“How disrespectful of him to have his family there constantly without discussing with you.”

“And then TELLING you to change your office space back. Uhhh. No.”

“However, you should have talked with Nic about how you are struggling with having in-laws there so much.”

“He should have known about the room change before it happened.”

“Not telling him was disrespectful and rude and that does make you TAH.”  ~ ParticularReview4129

“Girl. This is awful please don’t let this man take over the life your parents gave you a great start too.”

“There’s guys out there with In laws that are amazing and you deserve to find great in laws too!”  ~ CauliflowerOrnery460

“My own parents and soon my sister and her family don’t stay with me because I only have one bathroom in my house.”

“MY parents come up to visit at least once a year and stay in a nice hotel.”

“My sister and her husband and niece are supposed to come up this year in December and asked for hotel recommendations.”

“I offered that they could stay with me on an air mattress.”

“Once my ex-husband moves out next month, I’ve decided to change the guest room into an exercise room since no one stays with me anyway.”  ~ Positive_Promotion83

OP came back with some details…

“Edit: I realized I have forgotten to add some pieces.”

“Just after the lock down ended I have told Nick I will be converting one of the bedrooms into an office space, that’s when his family started coming over.”

“I have told him that they are too much and need to cut down on visits or have us to visit them but it was met with ‘they are family!'”

“After they left I’m dealing with all the cleaning after them.”

“The door to the spare bedroom was open so Nick could clearly see I was doing something there.”

“As he didn’t say anything I have assumed he remembered my plans and was okay with it.”

“Hell he even complimented the sofa there!”

“Also… someone has advised to add this…”

“The normal visiting bunch are my M[other] I[n] L[aw], F[ather] I[n] L[aw], and 6 underage (under 18) siblings (17 year old male twins, 16 year old daughter, 15 year old son, and 12 year old female twins).

“He has over 18 siblings too who visit but normally they stay Thursday to Monday and it is normally one or 2 at the time.”

“They do game most of the time together with my husband which is another reason why I need a separate office space as they are just too loud.”

Reddit also asked…

“INFO: please please please tell me the house is in your name only.”

“What I see is a woman who makes significantly more than her husband, has provided the home they live in (mortgage free!), get no weekend time for herself, and has her reasonable boundaries stomped on by hubs and his family.”

“And, Nick and Co are too rude to even cook and clean up after themselves.”

“The audacity of some people!”

“What if you have plans for a weekend out?”

“What if you’re sick?”

“What if you want friends over for a girl’s night?”

“What if your parents —the ones who paid for the damn place— wanted to visit you for the weekend, where would they stay?”

“Would his family get dibs on your rooms?”

“They seem to think what’s your is his and what’s his is theirs, and that’s concerning that they literally act like they own the place.”

“So far, no one is taking your opinions and needs into consideration but it’s your effing home.”

“You can try to find out why they want to spend the night so much, but it’s not necessary.”

“Please don’t be a doormat or this will be your future (or until you leave Nick).”  ~ saurons-cataract

OP responded…

“The house is in my name and will stay with me regardless.”

“I have been away with friends once and they just order takeaway and there’s even more cleaning.”

“People say don’t clean after but I just can’t deal with the house being a mess.”

“I’ve grown up in this place and felt really lucky when my parents gave it to me.”

We continue…

“NTA. You said you guys are saving up to buy a new house.”

“Just imagine how he and his family acts now that you fully own the house.”

“And what it will be when he also owns part of the house.”

“You are a doormat right now.”

“That’s not about to change without big changes.”  ~ Avre15

“The guy is taking over your save home.”

“This would be a big bloody nope for me!”

“Its your house, if you think his family is over too much/too much to handle, he should comply.”

“Why do they need a bedroom?”

“If they sleep over one night in a few months, a blow up bed should be fine”

“. Does he want them to come and live there or what?”

“NTA, you gotta stand your ground.” ~ Emisys

“NTA. I get strong feelings of him taking advantage of you for all of this.”

“Free house, free place for his family to stay.”

“No privacy or individual time for yourself though.”

“Nick is being lazy.”

“He needs to cater to his family (and be reminded that this house is not his).” ~ Electrical_Age_6542

Well OP, Reddit is not mincing words.

It sounds like it’s time for some hard conversations and truths.

Nick clearly needs some family boundaries.

Be careful. Good luck.