When people invite others over for dinner, they likely do it because they love to cook, and less as a way of impressing people.
Which doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t mind it if their dinner guests showed just the tiniest bit of appreciation for what they made.
Not to feed their egos, but rather just to acknowledge the hard work that went into it.
Redditor throwawaymomslasagna couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed when her girlfriend seemed underwhelmed by one of her specialités.
So when her girlfriend made a request for dinner a few weeks later, the original poster (OP) put much less effort into her cooking.
Only to find her girlfriend offended that she took the easy route this time.
Feeling confused and frustrated, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for making my girlfriend cheap lasagna?”
The OP explained how she couldn’t seem to win when it came to cooking dinner for her girlfriend.
“I (24 F[emale]) make a delicious lasagna from scratch that takes hours and lots of money to make.”
“It’s so good that friends and family ask me to make it for them for birthdays instead of getting them a gift.”
“Last month I decided to make it for my girlfriend (23F).”
“I spent a lot of money on the ingredients and then more than half of the day making the herb infused fresh pasta dough, the ragu, etc.”
“When she came over, she took a couple of bites and said that she didn’t understand why I spent so much time and money on it because it tasted EXACTLY like the lasagna she would make with canned Panzani bolognese sauce and boxed pasta sheets (not similar, not kinda like, but EXACTLY like it).”
This didn’t sit will with OP.
“My feelings were a lil hurt ngl, but I understand that to each their tastes, and I just told her I’m sorry she didn’t like it that much and then kept it pushing and suggested we watch a movie.”
“Flash forward to yesterday, she was coming over for dinner, and I asked her what she wanted to eat and she said ‘lasagna.'”
“So I popped over to the store and got panzani sauce and pasta sheets to make it because…”
“A)- She said my lasagna and the quick made one tasted the exact same, so no need to spend a lot on ingredients and…”
“B)- Because even if I had wanted to make my recipe, I wouldn’t have the time since it takes me an entire afternoon, which is why it’s a special occasions thing.”
“So she showed up at my house, took one bite of the lasagna, and then spat it out and said that it tastes different.”
“When I told her I made it how she did, she got really upset at me and said that I wasn’t putting in effort and that she was expecting to have a real meal and not something cheap.”
“I pointed out the comments she made last time, and she rolled her eyes and said she was clearly exaggerating.”
“So then I got upset because wth?”
“The situation got brought up to our mutual friends, most have stayed out of it, but two of them think I’m the a**hole because my gf clearly meant she wanted my ‘special’ lasagna, which is why she asked for it as dinner, and that I should have let her known beforehand that I was going to make one using premade sauce, etc.”
“I think it was clear that that’s what I was gonna do cause she literally asked for lasagna 2 hours before coming over, which is not enough time to make the ‘special’ one even if I wanted to.”
“To clarify, the ‘cheap’ lasagna tasted just fine, pretty tasty even! Just not at all comparable to the original one, in my opinion.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for making her girlfriend “cheap” lasagna.
Everyone thought that the OP’s girlfriend had to right to expect her girlfriend to make her special lasagna after her rude behavior, and also had no right to behave the way she did to the “cheap” lasagna she was served either.
Many wondered if the OP should even stay in this relationship after this incident.
“Boy, you really can’t win with her, can you?”
“You make good lasagna, she complains. You make simple lasagna, she complains.”
“That must be exhausting to figure out what she actually wants.”- happyhippietree
“No, She didn’t CLEARLY mean that because if she did, then she would have mentioned it specifically, especially after questioning the time and effort it took to create an objectively better dish.”
“Overall, now she knows the difference between asking for lasagna and asking for your lasagna.”-zalkaare
“She dismissed your meal last time, comparing it to quick and easy recipes.”
“Further, as you stated, you didn’t have time to make them from scratch.”
“In 2 hours notice?”
“If she can’t understand it, then she’s being incredibly obtuse or unreasonable.”
“She owes you an apology for her behavior.”- KronkLaSworda
“Your lasagna just saved your life.”
“It revealed your girlfriend for the petty, ungrateful person she really is.”
“Now you can safely escape before you signed a lease, bought a car, got married, or had kids.”
“NTA, and praise be lasagna.”- capmanor1755
“NTA your g/f sounds like hard work.”
“So she clearly thought your original lasagna was noticeably nicer than the cheaper version, but she wanted to… what?”
“Take you down a peg or two?”
“Keep you on your toes by telling you it wasn’t all that great?”
“She doesn’t sound very nice. Are you sure you want to stay with a person like that?”-Impossible_Ask_3564
“She sounds toxic and spoiled.”- Aeon_Flux_Capacitor
‘Don’t talk down about something then complain when somebody listens to you.”- Bostonya
“First, she bashed your ‘from scratch’ lasagna the last time.”
“Second, when she said she wanted lasagna two hours before coming over, she knew damn well that didn’t give you time to make it the way you did before (which, again, she turned her nose up at).”
“She’s the a-hole, not you.”- Ellie_Reads_Romance
“As an Italian-American, dissing a lovingly handmade lasagna is absolutely fighting words.”
“She belittled your efforts (food is a LOVE LANGUAGE) and then has the balls to cry about not getting the same effort?”
“No one cooks on demand, especially when it goes unappreciated.”- NotSorryCharli
“Throw out the whole girlfriend.”- Maximum-Row-4143
“She sounds pretty rude.”
“Who says that to someone who cooked them a meal from scratch?”- Budge1025
“If someone insults my food after I put hours and a lot of love and care into it, I’m not making that again for them.”
“Your GF sounds like the type who thinks nothing is ever good enough.”
“If this is the case, you may want to reevaluate your relationship.”- eggerrj87
“She said it tasted exactly the same.”
“So what is she complaining about now?”- columbospeugeot
“Keep the lasagna recipe for special occasions.”
“Ditch the GF.”- 1800TurdFerguson
“First she insults your high-quality homemade lasagna.”
“Then insults your quick lasagna.”
“You can’t win either way.”
“She needs to apologize for her comments on both lasagna.”- Edcrfvh
“OP, I love lasagna.”
“If you don’t mind, please share your recipe. I will worship the ground you walk on, forever!”-FormalRaccoon637
“But if she would lie to you about the lasagna and then expect you to still make it, that is a rather large red flag to consider.”- Nalpona_Freesun
“Your girlfriend sounds terrible.”
“Who belittles their partner’s specialty dish like that?”
“Then proceeds to get upset when they won’t make it anymore?”
“Does she use this bait and switch often on you?”
“Insulting something you work hard at or love, only to get pissed off and act like it’s your fault that you don’t want to do/make the thing around her anymore?”
“Because that’s emotionally abusive.”
“You need to put your foot down or leave her.”- Miiesha
“Your GF sounds incredibly immature, and her behavior in this situation was toxic.”-Forward_Squirrel8879
“Bless the lasagna of truth.”
“You were supposed to accept her insults, then grovel and use magic and time travel to produce the lasagna she insulted.”
“And now she conveniently gets to play victim and cause drama with people?”
“Run away.”- brokencappy
“OP as a chef myself, I’ll give you some advice for dating while being a cook.”
“Don’t date people who equate your effort to frozen goods as they have no taste to speak of.”
“Had an ex tell me that my 12hr sauce tasted like canned sauce, and like with yours, I made the canned stuff and it went to waste.”
“The time and effort someone puts into their food truly makes it unique. No one should put that to shame.”- AITAlurker25k
No two people have the same taste in food.
But it’s simply common courtesy to at least pretend to like something that someone put considerable effort into cooking.
Something the OP’s girlfriend better have learned if she ever wants the OP to cook her dinner ever again.