Baby showers can be awkward. There’s bad games, corny decorations, and a bunch of people hoping to go to an actual party.
It’s even more awkward when you don’t want to throw said baby shower for your sister, and when the baby’s father is your ex boyfriend.
Redditor Outrageous_Service51 encountered this very issue with her sister. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for not being excited enough over my sister’s pregnancy and saying no to planning the baby shower?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Ok, so it’s not that I (f26) hate kids, I really don’t, but you’d think that if you spoke to my family.”
“My parents and rest of my family are going insane over my sister ‘Sophia’s’ pregnancy. It’s dominating every discussion and every family get together.”
“Won’t lie, this has been getting to me, like I’m not saying it’s not a blessing but oh my God, I’m bored of talking about baby showers, baby names, clothes, etc, so I just kind of turn off when it comes up now.”
“I’m trying to be polite, but it’s especially upsetting because the father of my future nephew/niece is the guy I was (and might still be, idk anymore) really in love with.”
The plot thickens.
“‘Luke’ was actually someone I dated first, back in my final year of university. Luke is also from my home city, too, but we hadn’t met prior.”
“We dated a good few months before he decided that we worked better as friends. This hurt, but I pushed through it, and we got a good friendship out of it.”
“So, when we graduated, we both went back home, and he spent pretty much the entire summer at ours because he has a difficult relationship with his father.”
“That’s when Luke and Sophia got together.”
“Yet, despite all this history between Luke and I, no one in my family seems to think this whole experience might be a little strange for me. I won’t lie, when I saw him kissing my sister, drunk, at a party I kinda thought, ‘You dick, but it’s okay. It won’t last.’”
OP was wrong.
“Safe to say, it’s lasted. But whatever, you know, you have to get over stuff like this, and I am, but I’m not a fountain of enthusiasm over it, either.”
“The drama comes when my mom asked me if I could plan the baby shower, and I told her… no, basically, because I personally disagree with them trying to hold one during a Pandemic anyway, that I have a life outside of this whole thing and I’m busy.”
“I didn’t say it, but it also feels weird for me to be so involved with my feelings being the mess that they are.”
“I just told her she could do it if she wanted, it’s her grandchild, and that makes more sense than me doing it. But my mum got upset with me and ‘my tone’ and accused me of being unsupportive of my sister’s happiness this whole time, and even selfish for not wanting to be a part of it more.”
“And I wasn’t going to take that, because I’ve tried really hard to be mature over this.”
“I told her she was being suffocating with it, and not everyone has do everything she wants all the time, and basically told her off for making a drama out of nothing. But now she’s upset with me, and I’m starting to feel bad.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed there were no a**holes in this scenario.
“This has nothing to do with your history with Luke. If you don’t want to do the baby shower, don’t do it. Your mom is being extremely entitled to think she can just give commands like that and commit emotional blackmail when people refuse.”
“Mom’s have the reputation of being so kind and supportive, but I’ve mostly noticed they tend to be entitled little children that always have to get their way. So strange.” ~ Quick_Appointment_82
“And if she did agree, mom will be all over it, demanding and checking in and ordering. See what games you’ve planned and then tell you, you must also plan to play this one and that one too.”
“What!?! You don’t have a onesie station? You must hate your sister! Plan one now and make sure you have glitter glue, not just sharpies for decorating.”
“And what cake did you order? That’s not nearly big enough and why just vanilla? You need to do a vanilla chocolate split cake to show you truly care. Etc.” ~ rst012345
“Ugh… I am a mom(I have a 9 year old & I’m 37 weeks pregnant) and even I hate baby showers… if my friends want to buy a baby gift, cool, get some cute clothes whatever, but my hubby and I can handle buying all the ‘big ticket’ items.”
“The games suck a**, too.”
“I’d much rather wait until I’m fully healed after the baby is born is get a ‘Night Out’ with the girls away from the kiddos! Also, it’s lovely having a night (just once in a while) where the Littles are not constantly on/needing the mom. Seriously, my hubby (very involved dad) can be sitting tight next to our 9 year old and she will come ask me questions while I’m in the bathroom instead of just asking THE OTHER PARENT right next to her 🤦♀️ OP you’re NTA.”
“But maybe, just maybe, think about seeing if your sister would be willing or want a ‘YOUR BODY IS YOURS AGAIN’ party when the pandemic situation is at a point where YOU feel comfortable making arrangements…” ~ kristiswright
“I threw a baby shower for my best friend with her mom. It was a couples shower cocktail party. It’s what she wanted. She doesn’t like that or cutesie things, and neither do I or her mom.”
“I did cute invitations and special desserts. Her mom hired a caterer. It was just a party! My preference, but mostly it was her preference that mattered!”
“But in the end, you don’t force anyone to throw you a shower. OP’s mom is out of line.” ~ lp967ajp456
If OP’s sister wants a baby shower, why didn’t she ask for it herself?