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Woman Publicly Corrects Friend Who Tries To Take Credit For Gift She Didn’t Chip In For

Redditor MaxxxJac is a 28-year-old woman who has beef with her best friend over her behavior involving a traditional group effort.

The friend is a 32-year-old female who became upset after discovering the Redditor made a decision without her.

When the confrontation ended poorly, the Redditor visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for not telling my friend my plan to exclude her?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained what led to her decision that wound up causing tension.

“I have a friend, who by all means, is a great friend and shows up in all aspects of my life. I never have to second guess if she has my back or not.”

“But I don’t like what she’s doing and it rubs me the wrong way.”

“Usually for birthdays and even big celebrations, like an engagement party, baby shower, a kid’s first birthday etc. Herself, our other friends, and I will all go in together for a big ticket item.”

“People pitch in between $40 – $100, just depending on what the gift is. I usually coordinate and everyone sends me their money and it’s not a problem.”

“Her problem is, she never wants to send me her money in a timely fashion or at all (IMO). This tradition has been going on for years btw.”

“I will send messages out, weeks prior to actually buying the gift. Letting everyone know this is the date of purchase, how much to send me, and the due date of the money.”

“She always acknowledges my messages, and agrees to the due date and the amount. But every time the due date comes, I never receive anything. I always give a grace period of a week before I follow up and ask for the money.”

“She always says ‘Oh yeah i’m going to send’ and still never does! Or I have to literally get upset and follow up for weeks for her to give me the money.”

“This last time, our friend had an engagement party. We all agreed to put in $100 for an expensive gift. She said she was game.”

“But she never sent the money after I sent follow up texts (3 to be exact), asking for it. I never received it.”

“I can admit I was fed up with chasing her down for her part. So I covered her portion and left her name off the gift and our friend thanked everyone except for her. She corrected the bride-to-be stating it was from her as well.”

“I stepped in and said the bride was correct because you never sent the money to me, even after I followed up. She didn’t say anything.”

“You could see she was visibly upset and she left. That was two weeks ago, and neither of us have spoken to each other since.”

“My best friend said I was an a**hole because I could have told her my plan to leave her name off the gift and tell the bride-to-be in private who it was really from.”

“But I don’t think so, because why would you think your name would be on a gift you didn’t pitch in for? Then correct the bride-to-be in public, knowing you never sent the money.”

“If it’s a matter of she doesn’t have the funds (which I don’t think to be true, she makes good money) Why not just tell me? Or just say you won’t pitch in on the gift up front? So AITA?”

Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here


“If she didn’t want to be publicly outed for her lack of contribution, she should not have publicly corrected the bride.”

“If you don’t pay by the due date, and you don’t agree to a later payment date with the purchaser, then your name doesn’t go on the card.” – winsomebunny

“NTA. You could have been nicer, but she made her bed trying to loudly take credit when she knew for a fact she hadn’t paid. What the hell was she expecting to happen?” – DavidANaida

“Eh- I think ops been plenty nice. She organizes the gift thing, sets the dates clearly and no one else has any issue with it. Every time she has to track down the woman and hound her relentlessly to get the money and sometimes even then she doesn’t.”

“One time is a fluke. Maybe two times as a second chance here. After that op should have just put in the texts: ‘this is the date I the money is due, this is when I am buying it- if you do not have your money in by then you will not be included in the gift.’”

“She didn’t tell her this but the fact that this woman thought she could do this every time is appalling. I mean this is a friend not a freaking bill collector or bounty hunter- stop making your friend act like one.”

“NTA- you didn’t owe her a heads up. She promises the money and then ignores it and makes you jump through a million hoops to get it.”

“You never should have to do this and Doing it set a precedent; if you want to be included you pay or you get your own separate gift.”

“This game she was playing was obnoxious and rude as hell. Any friends who tell you were wrong tell them next time if she doesn’t pay her share they can do the bounty hunter/bill collector thing or cover her if it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Or maybe next time say let her orchestrate the thing. Actually this might be the way to go.” – acegirl1985

“Have a very strict rule from now. If the money isn’t received by the day of purchase, your name doesn’t go on the gift, and everybody’s contribution goes up – no reason you should swallow the cost increase alone. NTA.” – Reasonable_racoon

“NTA… she never included you in her plans for never intending to pay you back. You let it go on longer than you should have. After the first time, you should have told her that until she paid for the past purchase and this one- her name was not going on the gift.”

“Her intentions to take advantage of you is far worse than what you did to her. She is just upset she will have to pay now.” – crazycatlady45325


“She was taking advantage of ALL her friends…not just you.”

“She knew she hadn’t paid and she still interjected and acted like she did.”

“And honestly, you say this is a good friend and always shows up for you but I bet if you looked at things objectively, you would see that she is not the friend you thought she was and that you were looking at her through rose colored glasses.”

“NTA.” – The__Riker__Maneuver

“NTA. You were correct, it wasn’t from her. She had multiple chances to pay and chose not to but wanted recognition. I would not include her in any more gift giving.”

“If she asks to be included tell her she has to pay prior to the purchase, upfront, or you will not be factoring in her payment and adjust the price requested from others accordingly and leave her name off the gift.” – HappyLifeCoffeeHelps

“NTA. In my friend circle, you sign your name on the card when you pay your portion. If you didn’t pay, you’re not on it. Simple as that. She decided to embarrass herself by bringing it up publicly, that’s not on you.” – MarblesFromSpace

“NTA and maybe (but not likely) this will be a wake-up call and she will shape up. If she still wants to speak with you, you can tell her, from the heart, that she has been a great friend and you love her in almost every respect, but she has a thing about money and it’s something that you cannot overlook any longer.”

“Leave the door open and tell her that if she has a better idea of how to handle these transactions, she should let you know.” – PandoraClove

“NTA. But something to think about for future group gifts….instead of picking an item first and splitting the cost, sometimes it’s easier to do the collection first. ‘I am collecting money by this date, please contribute what you want to / what you can’ and then choose the gift after that date based on the total amount you got.”

“Obviously only people who contributed get to claim credit, but doing it that way allows a bit of flexibility and discretion for people who are on different budgets.” – Educational-Cut572

“NTA she messed around, she found you weren’t the pushover she thought you were. Nice spine, looks good on you. Stand tall. She owes you the apology not the other way around. And the group judged her, and you.”

“They found her wanting and you look stronger than ever not to be messed with. Good work all around really.” – Max-Powers1984

Overall, Redditors thought the so-called best friend should’ve followed through after verbally committing to a contribution.

Because of this, they thought the OP responded reasonably to the situation.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo