Redditor whythisnme is single, unemployed and pregnant.
When she was ready to break the exciting news about her baby during a family picnic, things did not go smoothly.
Her reaction to the announcement debacle prompted her to visit the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA).
The Original Poster (OP) asked:
“AITA for causing a scene when my sister (28) stole my pregnancy announcement?”
“My sister Lila (28 F[emale]) and I (34 F[emale]) are both the children of a single mother. Growing up, I was always closer to our mother since we were closer in age and had similar interests.”
“I was also very quiet and well behaved while my sister was wild. We grew up in the sheltered suburbs, so her behavior wasn’t nearly at the level of a lot of kids generally, but it was a point of stress for my mom.”
“Many moons ago, my sister and my ex boyfriend started a relationship. I was alright with it since he was my ex boyfriend in high school.”
“I made a mistake after she got engaged to him and I’m not justifying this but when my ex and I had a moment, I gave in and slept with him. I immediately regretted it and told my mom the morning of crying.”
“She was upset at me but understood and when she tried to console my sister, Lil blew up at her and said that my mom was taking my side instead of hers and was mad that my mom consoled me or whatever.”
“She didn’t talk to my mom for a long long time after that.”
“Lila is pretty happy now. She’s got her life together and earns good money.”
“Her husband is rich and she has this cute baby girl. My mom dotes on the baby and ever since Lila has made up with her, takes Lila’s side on everything because she’s scared of losing her.”
“I recently found out that I’m pregnant. I currently don’t have a job and I’m living with my best friend.”
“The baby’s father will not be in the picture. After the sh*tshow that was this year, this child is a blessing for me and I’m really happy and couldn’t wait to tell my mom.”
“Yesterday, we were meeting for a picnic in the park and I was really excited to make my announcement. I had made cupcakes with blue and pink frosting for everyone.”
“Before I could tell anyone, my sister let everyone know that she’s pregnant also. She’s 5 months along and knows the gender.”
“Everyone was so elated and I was a bit hurt but decided to make my announcement as well and revealed my cupcakes.”
Unfortunately, the cupcakes did little to elicit unanimous approval.
“My mom was silent when I told everyone and when I prodded her she said that she was worried for me since I don’t have a job and she doesn’t know how I’m gonna survive raising this baby by myself.”
“I started crying and told her that of course she’s going to criticize me and compliment my sister and that the favoritism is starting to show. It really hurt me.”
“My mom got hurt and said it wasn’t her intention and then my stepdad spoke up and said that she was right and it isn’t about favoritism since my sister has got everything figured out and that he doesn’t know if I’m capable of raising my child by myself.”
“I yelled at all of them for underestimating me and that just cause I don’t have some fancy job doesn’t mean I can’t raise my baby. I left in a huff.”
“My dad later called me and said that he’s sorry if my feelings were hurt but that I really ruined the mood of the picnic by asking my mom for her thoughts and ruined my sister’s announcement as well as mine.”
“I don’t think I’m the a**hole, and I just want to prove it to them. AITA?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors did not look upon the OP’s situation favorably.
“YTA. She didn’t steal your announcement. She didn’t know you were making one.”
“Sounds a lot like you being jealous that you aren’t the golden child anymore…” – NUTmeSHELL
“When I was reading the post I couldn’t stop thinking about how OP was the well behaved child while her sister was the wild child. Really gave off the feeling that she’s upset she isn’t the better child anymore, especially since it’s probably been like 10 years and it’s still something she’s proud of.”
“Usually in posts like these, the mother favors the child that needed more attention (in this case, her sister), but I’m getting the vibes that OP was the favorite child who was praised for being good, while her sister acted out because she was constantly being compared to her ‘better’ sister.”
“Now it’s the opposite, and OP is upset because the dynamic has been reversed and she’s only now realizing what it feels like to be in her sister’s place.”
“OP, you are unemployed, have no support from the baby daddy, and living with a roommate—I think you’re in over your head if you think a child won’t affect your finances and living situation.” – vulgarfruit
“OP is by far the largest a**hole here, but her mom (and possibly step dad) aren’t innocent either. Through their original favoritism of OP, they started this competition between their daughters in the first place.”
“I feel terrible for OP’s sister, in this whole retelling by OP, she got screwed over and over again.” – Minnie-Mint
“YTA. considering from the point of view of your sister, you are the mega a**hole. You did steal her announcement and you caused a scene because you wanted the approval of your mother.”
“You’re jealous of the attention that your sister and her family get and you wanted the same thing, but you guys are in different circumstances.”
“It also sounds like you were the favorite growing up and now that the roles have changed, you’re not doing so well with dealing with it.” – daisycherryblossoms
“YTA. First, you glided right over the fact that you slept with your sister’s fiance. Yes, he was your ex, but at the point you slept with him, he was both your ex AND your sister’s fiance!”
“That’s really outrageous and a horrible betrayal. Your mother’s reaction was also less than great, but apparently she was able to repair her relationship with your sister and you all moved on.”
“Now about the announcement. It sounds like a bad coincidence that your sister was also announcing her pregnancy at the picnic.”
“Fine, things happen. It’s not necessarily a disaster.”
“That said, I’m not sure what you were expecting in terms of a response to your news. Yes, you’re pregnant, but you’re also unemployed and the father wants nothing to do with you or the baby and there’s a pandemic going on which makes your lack of stability even more unstable.”
“This is really not a great situation to be in and your loved ones are correct to be worried. It’s not favoritism, it’s reality.”
“Your sister is in a stable, married relationship, has started her family already, and has financial security. Her news is happy because the stage is set for an easy welcoming of a child and she’s prepared for any unforeseen events.”
“You, on the other hand, are living with a friend, don’t have a job, don’t have a partner, and your stage is set for a lot of difficulty and instability, especially if things go wrong.”
“It’s not that you won’t be able to raise a child alone necessarily, it’s just that this is really not a responsible decision and you’re at a much higher risk of something going wrong because you lack security and have not planned and prepared for this.”
“What if you have a difficult pregnancy and need to be on strict bed rest? What if you have a baby who is sick or has special needs? Is your bff going to support both of you forever?”
“You don’t need a fancy job to be a mother, but your family is right to be concerned. Your decision to have a child in these circumstances is a bit reckless and it’s a gamble because you don’t have a safety net. Your mother is right to worry.”
“You have no right to be angry that people who love you are rightly concerned. Your accusations of favoritism are baseless. No one is obligated to pretend that this is wonderful news with nothing to be concerned about.” – ghostforest
“It also wasn’t some random picnic. Her sister planned the picnic CLEARLY for her own announcement, and then OP jumped on it and expected the same response. The lack of perspective is just….facepalm…” – HolodeckDisco
Overall, Redditors ultimately declared YTA for her convoluted perspective about who was hijacking whose pregnancy announcement.
Hopefully, the OP’s financial situation will improve if the OP decides to move forward and become a mother.