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Camper Accused Of ‘Holding A Grudge’ After Friend’s Girlfriend Nearly Gets Them Attacked By Bear

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It’s amazing how one of our favorite things can be ruined in the mere blink of an eye.

Owing to the fact that one unpleasant experience might have forever put a cloud over what once brought you endless joy or eternal sunlight.

This could include food poisoning after eating one of your favorite foods, learning that the author of your favorite book was a less than wonderful person, or associating your favorite place with an unhappy memory or a person you’d rather forget.

Redditor No-Pay-5094 used to always look forward to a camping trip with some of her closest friends.

This all changed, however, after they all found themselves in a near death experience, largely owing to one specific individual.

And while this individual has since laughed the near fatal encounter off, the original poster (OP) most definitely hasn’t, with some accusing her of holding a grudge.

Concerned that she might be overreacting, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for ‘holding a grudge’ against my friend’s GF over an honest mistake (that almost got her killed)?”

The OP explained how a new addition to her annual group camping trip nearly got them in serious trouble, dampening her excitement to ever go on the trip again.

“So the situation involves my friend Alex (27 M[ale]), his GF (21 F[emale]), my husband (29 M), and myself (27 F).”

“Last year we all went on a camping/ fishing trip that we do annually, but last year was the first time Alex’s girlfriend joined.”

‘His GF is a really nice person but she’s not super outdoorsy and can be a bit absent-minded at times.”

‘Here’s the issue, last year we were hiking in bear country and during peak bear season.”

“Normally this isn’t an issue, but you have to be vigilant and know what to do if you do encounter a bear!”

“So last year before we headed out on our hike I asked my friend if he’s given his GF the 411 on what to do if we see a bear, he hadn’t so he asked me to.”

“In super simple terms I explained that if you see a grizzly bear, most common in that area. do NOT scream and do NOT run.”

‘Avoid eye contact or sudden movement and back away slowly if they aren’t moving.”

“She listened but I could tell she was kind of blowing me off, she also wasn’t interested in carrying bear spray or learning how to use it.”

“So lo-and-behold the four of us run into a bear.”

“It was after a pretty sharp turn so we, and the bear were all startled.”

“Alex’s GF reacts in the worst way imaginable: starts screeching at the top of her lungs and sprinting back down the way we came.”

“The bear started charging so I deployed the bear spray which scared it off.”

“We then collected Alex’s GF and went back.”

“We pretty much all agree that if we hadn’t had the bear spray we would have been screwed.”

“My beef is that Alex’s GF treated the whole thing like a big joke afterwards.”

“She posted IG stories laughing about the whole thing and has basically shown 0 embarrassment or regret over her stupid ass behavior.”

“I didn’t say anything at the time, but my husband and I agreed to basically never go anywhere outside a city with her again, haha.”

“Issue is Alex and his GF kept asking when we’re doing our ‘annual trip’ and his GF made a joke about wanting ’round 2 with the bear’.”

‘I decided instead of continuing to make excuses to just be straight up with them.”

“I explained I didn’t find the experience nearly as funny as they did and that I was not willing to go anywhere near wildlife with Alex’s GF until she smartens up.”

“Now Alex is pissed I’m ‘holding a grudge’ his gf is pissed that I ‘called her stupid’ and my husband thinks I was rude for telling them the actual reason we aren’t willing to go with them this year.”

“AITA here?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to camping with Alex’s girlfriend again, or for telling them both why.

Everyone agreed that the OP was justified in being angry that Alex’s girlfriend has yet to acknowledge the danger she put everyone in or offer any sort of remorse.


“She endangered everyone’s life and is unapologetic about it.’

“She will likely make the same mistake again and it may not turn out as well.”

“I think people have a right to know how they screwed up, this means they can do better in future or just ignore it and suffer the consequences.”- dwotw

“[Alex’s GF]: ‘OMG, do you remember that time I blew off the safety lecture, seriously f*cked up, put us all in jeopardy and almost got the four of us killed by a grizzly bear? That was so funny. OMG!'”

“[You]:’ . . .'”

“[Alex’s GF]: ‘When are we going to go camping again?'”

“[You]: ‘After what happened last time and no demonstration of remorse? Never’.”

“[Alex]: Why are you being so unreasonable? No one actually got hurt’.”


“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”- He_Who_Is_Right_


“I’ve been charged by a bear before, and it’s definitely a terrifying experience by yourself; even more so when someone else screws you over.”

“Do not invite them to go camping until she respects the outdoors and the dangers that it can bring.”- IamForester

“Friend of ours was attacked, while sound asleep inside his tent, by a bear.”

“It managed to really get ahold of him, tore him up very badly.”

“He’s camped in bear territory before, had no food in his tent, had cleaned up all food, park rangers to this day still have no idea why this bear went after him.”

“They also have no idea why after beginning the attack the bear just let him go and ran away.”

“Super freaky.”

“So, even if you do everything right you can still almost die, and she wasn’t even willing to do everything right!”

“NTA.”- rhendon46

“NTA she’s a child that’s not mature enough to be camping it seems.’

“She endangered everyone and then made a joke out of it.”

“This wasn’t an absent minded mistake.”

“It happens sometimes that people forget in the moment of panic and react incorrectly to bears or other wildlife but her reaction afterwards was unacceptable.”

“The only thing I would have done differently was tell her immediately up front why you’re not taking her instead of making excuses earlier.”

“Given her age and immaturity you’ll probably not have her around your friends by next years trip anyways.”- Mall0wfloof


“I hate this weird nonsense about it being rude or AHolery to call out dangerous behavior.”

“Especially if it threatens more people’s safety than just the idiot committing said behavior.”

“I love to hike, camp, fish, etc.”

“I grew up in the woods because my Dad worked for the Boy Scouts, and I know woods safety literally like the back of my hand.”

“But I still talk to park rangers before going into unfamiliar territory, just to be sure I know all the hazards.”

I would 100000% refuse to hike or camp with GF again until she demonstrated she had made efforts to educate herself.”

“If you or someone in your party gets seriously hurt in the woods, it is extremely hard to get help.”

“You cannot keep the wounds clean, and you are faced with decisions like splitting the group to get help while leaving a possibly bleeding injured person to draw predators into the camp.”

“While you probably could have employed more diplomacy in how you addressed it, it was important for Alex and his GF to understand that her behavior was dangerous and risked all of your lives.”

“Sure, she got a great story, but the fact that it was a near-miss doesn’t change the NEAR part, or the fact that her actions directly caused a very preventable encounter.”

“You tried to ensure her safety and education, but she blew you off.”

“Her inattention directly led to the encounter you were trying to prevent.”

“She put the whole group at risk because she was too entitled to listen properly to the safety talk, and then treated it like a joke.”

“If they really want to attend the campout again, tell them both that you and your Hubs are not willing to be placed at risk this time.”

“GF needs to either show definitively she has put in effort to learn woods safety, including demonstrating working knowledge of bear safety, or else politely ask you and demonstrably LISTEN to what you teach.”

” She needs to do that well before you’re unloading the cars at the trail.”- KittenSpangles

Perhaps the only thing more surprising than Alex’s girlfriend showing no remorse for putting them in that perilous situation, was that she also never thanked them for scaring the bear away.

Alex’s girlfriend is one of those people who simply has trouble uttering two, simple words: “I’m sorry”.

One hope’s that Alex’s girlfriend might also soon realize that she might not want to go camping without the OP and her husband, eventually leading to her offering them her long overdue apology.


Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.