You never really know someone until you live with them.
Or at least that’s been the case for many people who decided to get a roommate. Such it was for one Redditor—who after the dust settled and their new roommate was their ex-roommate—wondered if they did the right thing.
Redditor AITAdepression went to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit, where she asked:
“AITA for kicking out my new flatmate after she hid my medication?”
The OP explained:
“This happened a couple of weeks ago and I’m only posting this because I feel a bit guilty and then read a kinda similar post this morning that reminded me about it.”
“I’m 27 f[emale], I’ve been taking antidepressants for around 2 years after an event in uni that gave me ptsd.”
“If I don’t take them then I turn into essentially a human Gummi bear who cant do anything except mooch around like a miserable sack of potatoes. Yes i also see a therapist for this as well.”
“Anyway, my flatmate of 18 months left the country to go home before [the pandemic] and has now declined to return so I had to find a new flatmate.”
“The girl that I found seemed nice, a bit weird in the typical hippy vegan way but didn’t gave a problem with living with someone who eats bacon and i was having trouble finding potential flatmates and can’t afford the apartment by myself.”
“We agreed to a 6 week trial before she would’ve signed on for a year.”
“Initially everything seemed fine but in the 3rd week I noticed that my anti depressants were occasionally not in the cabinet in the morning when I woke up (I always take them at 8am before work).”
“Often I would briefly look for them but have to rush out of the house before I could find them. They would usually be back that evening or I’d find them in the other bathroom cabinet or in the vanity next to the toilet.”
“I asked her if she was moving them a couple of times and the first time she said no and the second she said that she was trying to find her health vitamins and had emptied the cabinets looking for them and must have forgotten to put my anti depressants back.”
“I thought this was weird cause nothing else had moved but shrugged it off.”
“In the 4th week I couldn’t find them for 3 days, confronted her and she offered to help search only for her to ‘find’ them in the kitchen cabinets and blamed it on me taking them into the kitchen (I never do).”
“Beginning of the 5th week I couldn’t find them again and while I was searching the apartment I saw her open bag and looked inside (yes I know I’m TA here), low and behold there were my pills.”
“I confronted her that evening and she said she was trying to wean me off them and that I should stop putting that poison in my body. I told her that it wasn’t going to work out and to find somewhere else to live.”
“She threw a hissy fit and packed all her stuff that night and left (to be clear I did say she had until the end of the trial period to leave, she didn’t have to go immediately).”
“Anyways, 4 weeks later I have a new flatmate who seems great, but the girl has been messaging me begging to come back because the friend she’s been staying with has kicked her out. Obviously I have another flatmate now so she can’t move back in but AITA here?”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
In addition to many declaring NTA, Redditors believed the roommate’s actions could have life-threatening consequences.
“NTA. This was dangerous. You NEVER mess with someone’s medication. It doesn’t matter what it’s for. You JUST DON’T do it.”
“You got lucky finding out and kicking her out early.” – hcp56
“100%. This can result in serious harm and can even be life threatening. Don’t do it, ever. Yikes. NTA OP.” – CanIBeWillyWonka
Side effects can be debilitating, as this Redditor can attest.
“Yeah that is a MAJOR problem. Depending on what meds they are, they could literally kill someone going off them cold-turkey like that.”
“I’ve gone through a ton of antidepressant meds with various side effects- the ones I’m on now cause major migraines, Body aches, nausea, and dizziness/vision impairment if I’m even 1-2 hours late taking them.”
“Cutting off cold turkey id risk seizures and possibly even death if that happened at the wrong moment, and would at the bare minimum go through a HUGE mood change and I have no idea what might happen then, when you’re no longer thinking clearly or in control of your faculties while having immense withdrawal pain.”
“The full body and migraine pain of Sudden withdrawal is hard to describe – but the closest I can get is imagine You’re at the dentist having a cavity or something drilled and that zing of Nerve pain – except it’s in all your joints and your head and is constant.”
“If I sleep in and don’t take em at the normal time the pain will wake me up to do it About an hour past due. It’s not fun.”
“(i found out because of fun issues with abusive family, but couldn’t FATHOM having to deal with that from a friend/roommate….)”
“Do not f’k with peoples meds.” – Not-a-Bot-101
The OP described the excruciating pain she suffers if she misses one day of her medication.
“Yeah thats what I get, I’m on a relatively low dose now that I’m no longer actively suicidal so being an hour or two late to take them doesn’t affect me too much… but a day?”
“Splitting migranes and my body feels like I just ran a marathon and then got hit by a truck. She seemed so nice when she was offering to help look for them and stuff too, it was honestly doing my head in.”
Criticism for the departed roommate continued.
“This behavior is dangerous. She needs to face consequences for what she did so she can learn how serious it is. Left to her own devices, she might end up killing someone else down the line by pulling the same sh*t”.
“She didn’t seem too apolagetic for doing it and I imagine she still feels she did the right thing.”
“I’ve encountered this anti medicine mentality before, and it leads to dark tidings. This is where we get sh*t like anti vaxxers resurrecting polio from the brink of extinction, people willingly and purposely spreading [the virus] because they think it’s not a big deal, even people trying herbal remedies for cancer or other kinds of faith healing bunk.”
“This mentality is deadly, and needs to be nipped in the bud immediately.”
“If you read this OP, I would recommend reporting her to the authorities so she can learn how dangerous her actions were.”
“You definitely are not the a**hole.” – Cipher_Oblivion
“Some people just have ZERO clue about mental health and have seriously misinformed views on medication.”
“For some people depression causes serious symptoms and psychosis which can be so dangerous. Like holy crap it can do so much harm to take someone’s meds.”
“Never let someone like that back into your home. NTA!!!” – DeviousCheesecake
“I don’t think the flatmate understand how dangerous it is to mess with someone’s medication.”
“Whether it’s for depression or a heart condition, you never take someone’s medication or try to meddle with the does. There’s a reason you wean yourself off medication under a doctors supervision, especially with antidepressants.” – maybeitwasfoxy
Overall, Redditors were relieved that the former roommate was out of the picture for the OP.