No good deed goes unpunished, as the saying goes.
And after a Redditor recently found herself in hot water with her roommate after she refused to do her taxes for her any longer, she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective on the conflict.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by the name ChocoloateDaifuku on the site, asked:
“AITA for refusing to help my roommate with her taxes?”
“My roommate (29F[emale]) and I (also 29F) have been living together for 9 years. This whole time, I’ve filed her taxes every year until last year. Every year, she’d hand me her W2, SS card, and ID, and I’d go to my sister’s place to file her taxes online. (I get my sister’s help because I’m dyslexic and don’t want to accidentally mix up any numbers while filing)”
“I would always ask my roommate if she wanted to go with us, and she would refuse, choosing to stay home and watch shows instead. Whenever my sister helps me with taxes, I treat her out for lunch as thanks whether this be going to a restaurant, fast food, or getting delivery of her choice.”
“This is where my frustration with my roommate comes in. She would never go with me to file her taxes, saying that she trusted me. I’d take screenshots of everything to show her what was filed, how much she would get, etc. When she’d get her tax return, she’d accuse me of stealing some of it, though I could always prove that I didn’t.”
“She never pitched in any money toward treating my sister out for lunch as thanks for her help but would also get mad if we didn’t bring back food for her.”
“So last year, I told her that I wasn’t going to do her taxes anymore. She whined about not knowing how to do it and being too anxious to go to a professional. I told her that she should have been more involved before, and I don’t want to do everything for her.”
“She never went to a professional to get her taxes done and didn’t do it herself. She didn’t file at all last year.”
“This year, she asked me to do her taxes, and I refused. She started crying and said that I’m ruining everything by not helping her. She complained to her friends at work about this, who all told me that I am being unnecessarily mean and I should help her out because she ‘clearly isn’t responsible enough to do this on her own.'”
“They told me that she’s still young and shouldn’t have to worry about it so much. But she and I are literally only 3 months apart in age.”
“She has not filed yet this year, and I’m being told that I’m an a**hole for not helping her because she’s too anxious to get her taxes done professionally and too insecure to do it herself. At this rate, she may not file this year too, and only my sister is on my side in this.”
“I have really bad social anxiety about seeing a professional, and that’s partially why I do my taxes myself with my sister’s help, so I understand being anxious, but am I really the a**hole for not helping her?”
Folks on Reddit were then asked to adjudicate who’s in the wrong based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And for them, this was a no-brainer.
“She’s 29. She SHOULD be responsible enough to do her own taxes and it’s shocking that people are enabling her like this. She could go to your sister who has in fact been doing her taxes all this time.”
“This reads as her acting like a child to get out of adult responsibilities and good for you for putting an end to it. If she hadn’t been a jerk to you when you WERE doing her taxes for her, maybe she would still have your help and would have learned how to do it, but she burned that bridge and now she needs to be an adult and own up to her actions.” —Apprehensive_Sand_77
“Anyone who tries to guilt OP is now de facto the new tax preparer. Turn their words against them. She is too young to do it. Well I am too, do both of ours!! She cant handle it by herself… well I am sure you will do a great job of it for her then.”
“People like this are wanting to use you as a meat shield against her whining. Give the 2 options, do it themselves or correctly stay out of it.”
“NTA!!!!! She’s damn near 30 and doesn’t know how to file? It most likely is even a 1040-EZ. Literally the lowest of the lowest of tax paper fruit and she wants to moan?”
“OP, your roommate is beyond lazy. Good on you, let her sink on her own.” —forceofslugyuk
“when I read ‘clearly isn’t responsible enough to do this on her own’ I went back to look at the ages because I would imagine her being 20 or something. She’s 29.
“I’m sorry but in this case she needs the sink or swim method. Not everybody is obligated to help you. And she clearly thinks she can throw a tantrum and people will give her what she wants.”
“you did her a favor doing it for her but she can’t say she trusts you and turn around and say you stole from her. Nope, That ‘service’ is gone for good.
She’s digging her own grave, stick to your guns and don’t let her manipulate you into doing it. She didn’t do it and is mad at YOU for not doing it? I’m sorry, sweetie. You did it all by yourself.” —ToastAbrikoos
“7 years of filing her taxes and being accused of stealing her money, and never a thank you? You are a slow learner, aren’t you?”
“NTA for refusing to do it anymore. At nearly 30 everyone should be able to file taxes.” —Renbarre
Hopefully OP’s refusal to continue being taken advantage of teaches her roommate to grow up a bit.