Baby showers are a joyous and rather convenient occasion.
In addition to celebrating the impending arrival of the bundle of joy, a baby shower is also an excellent way for expecting parents to get all the needed supplies for their babies.
And thanks to gift registries, they can ensure that they will only open gifts that will delight them.
Even if that doesn’t stop guests from veering from the registry.
Redditor One-Poetry-7005 was expecting her second child.
But after receiving a number of gifts that weren’t exactly to her liking from her first baby shower, the original poster (OP) came up with what she thought was an efficient and easy solution to her second registry.
A solution that did not go over well with her guests.
Having doubts about her decision, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for making a request for baby shower gifts?”
The OP explained why the guests at her upcoming baby shower were less than thrilled with the one thing she wanted as a gift.
“I (31 F[emale]) am pregnant with my second child.”
“My baby shower is coming up in April so I sent out invitations the other week.”
“I am very picky when it comes to design aesthetics.”
“I hate the modern trend of beige and muted colors and tacky text, especially on baby onesies.”
“I cannot expect my family and friends who aren’t super close to me meticulously pick out baby clothes to my liking as that’s completely unreasonable, so on the invitations, I requested that guests bring diapers only.”
“I have a lot of items left from my previous child as well, so it’s not like I’m starving for clothes and toys.”
“Last baby shower, I got a lot of onesies I didn’t like and ended up donating.”
“I don’t want my loved ones to waste money, and I don’t want to pretend I like a gift that I don’t.”
“A few cousins messaged me and said that I was being a bit stuck up and ungrateful by asking guests only to bring diapers.”
“They say that they want to spoil the baby, too.”
“I said that the baby needs diapers.”
“They’re still upset, and I’m going to be honest, I don’t really see why.”
“AITA? Is this some rule I’ve never heard of?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for only wanting her guests to bring diapers.
Everyone agreed that it was entirely the OP’s decision as to what she wanted and didn’t want as gifts for her baby shower, with many agreeing that she made a very practical decision.
“Wow, people here are REALLY uptight about what qualifies as a baby shower.”
“Call it a shower or a sprinkle or whatever you like.”
“You’re throwing a party to celebrate your baby with friends and family.”
“You have baby things already, so if anyone would like to bring a gift, you would prefer diapers.”
“All that is perfectly fine.”
“As long as you don’t throw a fit if some people bring other gifts and thank them graciously before you discreetly re-home what you don’t like, NTA.”- No_Rope_8115
“I can’t tell you how many baby showers for second or third kids I’ve been invited to that request either diapers or books if you would like to bring a gift.”
“It’s completely normal where I’m from.”- Original_Safe_3143
‘It’s funny people are mad about the shower, but the family is not no one in the post is mad about the shower they’re mad they can’t spoil the child and bring whatever gifts they want to give regardless of whether it is something the parent would give their child.”
“They are mad because she only wants diapers. Like imagine it’s the cheapest best gift, and they’re mad.”
“lolz NTA.”- jsbleez
“It’s common to have a diaper and wipe shower for a second child.”
“My sister told me not to buy anything for her second son because she already had too much for him.”
“So I sent diapers.”- Cheddarbaybiskits
“Diaper parties are a thing.”
“Or you could call it a baby celebration and just say gifts not expected, but we would appreciate diapers.”
“But I think saying hey I am having a party for my second baby but seeing as we have a first baby, we don’t need gifts but would appreciate diapers.”- EmotionalFix
“Baby shower gifts are to get what the baby NEEDS.”
“You need diapers more than you need the clothing, it’s perfectly respectable to request only those things.”
“Why else would people have gift registries if not to let people know what would be an acceptable gift?”
“They do this at baby stores too.”
“You’ve skipped the registry and simplified it to a single item you always need more of.”- phenomstar
“These comments are wild to me, honestly.”
“I can’t believe that people are saying you can’t throw a second baby shower.”
“People have large age gaps between children, so they won’t have any baby supplies left. You may have one gender and then the other (not everyone buys unisex things), you could have been a young mom and or in a bad financial state for your first child and not have received much, it may be flipped to where you had good finances with the first baby, but now things are different.”
“Babies are destructive. Sometimes your things get ruined, especially if you thrifted a bunch of your stuff and it was not in good condition to begin with.”
“People go through hardships like house fires, flooding, evictions etc., and lose what they had.”
“Some women think they’re one and done and get rid of everything.”
“I’m a mom to a six-year-old and a 14-year-old. I’ve seen many women have two baby showers.”
“I only ever had one, but that’s because my 14-year-old was not a baby, and adopted after I had my six-year-old, and due to emergency placement, I had to immediately go out and buy her an entire wardrobe and supplies and everything she needed right then and there.”
“And I’ve seen women also ask for only diapers and wipes plenty of times.”
“Almost everyone who has a baby shower makes a registry!”
“So you buy the things they NEED!”
“And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with throwing your own shower. I did.”
“Some people don’t have close enough friends and family to where somebody would think to throw them a shower.”
“Some people have friends/relatives that like to make things about themselves and don’t want those people calling the shots.”
“Not everyone in the world fits into the same box, and all these comments are clearly trying to shove everyone into one box.”
“Also, it’s okay just to want to celebrate a new baby?”
“No shame in throwing a party because you’re excited to have a new baby even if you already had one.”
“Again, I absolutely cannot believe these comments.”
“It just straight up feels like woman/ mom shaming.”- LovelyNightSky
“I actually think it is SUPER gracious NOT to ask for regular gifts for a second child.”
A ‘Diaper Sprinkle’ is an adorable way to celebrate a second baby.”
“Your relatives are out of touch.”
“However, let them do whatever they want.”
“You can donate to someone who will appreciate the things you don’t!”- AlbanyBarbiedoll
“I’m confused by all these people confidently saying that showers are for 1st babies only.”
“The name implies ‘welcoming a kid’, not ‘marking your first-time only status of motherhood,’ and there’s nothing wrong with someone asking for items they need from people who love them and clearly want to celebrate them.”
“Throwing your own shower could be tacky, but not if your guests are eager to participate, and OP’s guests obviously are.”
“Sometimes friends and family want a way to celebrate you, but none of them live close enough/have the time and resources to host the party themselves.”
“Maybe don’t go into the whys. I think a polite fib would be best here.”
“’We have so many things we can reuse from our first child that we really only need diapers.'”
“‘That’s why it’s the only thing requested.’”
“Of course, people will probably still deviate, but a simple thank you & then donate later is fine.”- Stefie25
“Y’all are unhinged, NTA they’re diapers, not ‘gift grabs’; it’s not tacky to throw your own shower. Step outside and touch some grass.”- Layli2020
One can’t blame the OP’s guests for being disappointed by the limited selection and not being able to spoil her child as they might like to.
But ultimately, this was the OP’s decision.
And who could blame her for wanting to make sure she was never at a loss for diapers?