Weddings are a joyous occasion, full of love and celebration.
Even so, weddings are often heavily scrutinized by those in attendance, namely over the venue, attire, music choices, and of course, the food.
Sadly, many people remember one or all of those things at weddings they’ve attended for reasons that would not fill the hearts of the married couple with joy.
The sister of Redditor Tasty-Watercress-190 gave her mother full reign to plan her wedding, as it seemed to matter more to her than it did to the bride.
However, when the big day finally came, the food being served caught the attention of the original poster (OP), and not in a good way.
Upon learning that her fears about it were correct, the OP felt the only thing to do was warn the remaining guests accordingly, much to her mother’s anger.
Wondering if she had overstepped, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Reddittors:
“AITA For telling people not to eat the food at my sister’s wedding?”
The OP shared why she made every effort to make sure none of the guests at her sister’s wedding ate any of the food being served.
“My husband (27 M[ale]) and I (26 F[emale]) were married eight months ago.”
“We had a BIG wedding with lots of food and drinks and people.”
“I knew we would likely have leftovers, so had arranged for them to be donated to the soup kitchen we sometimes work with, however, my mom went behind my back and took most of it with her.”
“I didn’t really know what happened to the food.”
“My sister Callie (30 F) got married over the long weekend.”
“She didn’t want to mess with any of the planning and- knowing how my mom was during my wedding- decided to let our mom take over the whole thing.”
“All we had to do was show up where we were told and party.”
“The ceremony was beautiful, but it was when the buffet was revealed that I noticed something odd.”
“The food looked eerily familiar.”
“Like, identical to what I had for my wedding except for a little more dried out and sad.”
“I found an opening and went to ask my mom about it where she happily told me she ‘saved a fortune’ by unfreezing the food from my wedding to serve to the guests now.”
“I was horrified and immediately voiced my concerns about safety.”
“She got upset and said I was acting like a snob and should be happy the food wasn’t going to waste.”
“I argued that it was never going to be wasted, but she wouldn’t hear it.”
“I didn’t want to make a scene, but was worried about people getting sick so snuck off to see my sister.”
“She was horribly embarrassed- mentioned that mom said something about saving money but didn’t question it because she didn’t want to foot the bill like I had.”
“She told me not to eat the food and thanked me for the warning.”
“From there, my husband and I discretely started telling some guests to be weary of the food and the rest of the night was fine.”
“My mom caught some flack for being cheap, but I’ve also been catching heat.”
“Some of our relatives have been saying that I intentionally made my family look bad and that the food was fine as it was frozen and then defrosted for the wedding.”
“They say no one would have known if I didn’t make a stink over it.”
“I don’t know if I did anything wrong, I could use some help and would like to know if I should apologize.”
“My wedding had about 200 guests.”
“My husband has a large family and we intentionally planned for more people to come and knew that a lot wouldn’t for one reason or another so knew we’d likely have leftovers and wanted to be smart about it.”
“My sister and her husband have been together for about 10 years.”
“They recently decided to get married for tax reasons and wanted to do a courthouse wedding, but my mom BEGGED her to let her do an ‘event’.”
“So, she had a small wedding with only 50 people.”
“My sister HATES planning and people, so she let my mom do everything.”
“Have ya’ll ever heard of garage freezers?”
“They’re super common where I’m from.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the. a**hole for warning guests at her sister’s wedding not to eat the food.
Everyone agreed that the OP was doing her sister’s wedding guests a favor by warning them not to eat the reused food, as doing so would have made everyone getting food poisoning the only lasting memory of the wedding.
“It’s not that it was stored frozen for eight months.”
“It’s that it sat on a buffet table for god knows how long at your wedding, then in your mother’s car, before it was frozen.”
“This is not only tacky but super dangerous.”- TemptingPenguin369
“Has nothing to do with it being frozen but HOW it was frozen, stored and then thawed out.”
“Unless mom has a food handler training, I’m sure that food had ‘extras’.”- shadow-foxe
“That was next level cheapskate behavior from your mom and she could have made everyone very sick.”- CrystalQueen3000
“That is straight up unsanitary and a major health hazard.”
“Your mother is cheap, gross and dangerous, oh yeah and TA.”- PublicRedditor
“Yeah, that’s a no from me and I’m not a germaphobe.”
“I’ve pushed the limits a few times, but just for myself and never anyone else.”
“Even frozen things have a shelf life.”
“Your sister does not want her wedding to be the one remembered for her quests being glued to the toilet with a garbage can in between their legs.”
“Food from 8 MONTHS AGO?”
“I’ve worked at jobs that require food handling, and the bottom line is that it is not safe for food to be between 42 and 139 degrees Fahrenheit for an extended period of time.”
“Before the food was frozen, it was sitting out on a buffet table for hours, then it was sitting in a car for who knows how long.”
“While it’s true that professional food handling standards are especially strict, serving food that’s been sitting at room temperature for hours and hours before being frozen for 8 months and then left out again is just asking to make people sick.”- TheCodonbyte
“It is cheap, and kind of disrespectful to the guests (it says you are only worth our leftovers) and I dare say think how the family of the new husband must feel.”
“At the end of the day, your mum went against your wishes, had no care on how it would reflect on your sister/husband, and sounds extremely controlling (taking over yours and sister wedding! What did her new husband thought of that?).”
“If you ever have children, I dare say things might get even worse.”
“She wanted to save money, with no regards for potential health and safety, and she got caught out.”- Whatever-and-breathe
“You can’t just thaw and refreeze food guys.”
“Same reason you can’t cook moldy food to a hot temp to make it safe.”
“The bacteria are already spreading poison.”- Squirt_memes
“Look, I’ve got no beef with leftovers, love them cuz I’m a lazy cook, but you shouldn’t feed people leftovers without their knowledge.”
“They don’t know where its from, if there’s cross-contamination, how well its been stored, etc.”
“People expect to be fed fresh, well-prepared food at a wedding reception.”
“This is gross.”
“I’m not going to say anything about the whole freezing food, de-freezing it, and then serving it at someone else’s wedding.”
“Let’s focus on the fact that your mom went behind your back and stole that food from you.”
“You had plans for it.”
“She stole it.”- ilovetoreadbo0ks
“Eight months in the freezer?”
“After sitting out all night on a buffet then riding home in the car?”
“You weren’t calling your mom out for being cheap, you were protecting people from a genuine food safety hazard.”
“You’re absolutely right people could’ve gotten extremely sick.”
“Your mom should be thankful she only got flak for being cheap and not for being so cheap she damn near killed your sister’s wedding guests.”
“I am being a little dramatic with that last bit but honestly it’s not unthinkable that that food could have botulism in it or other serious food borne illnesses.”
“Better not to risk it.”
“Ordering Dominos for a wedding instead of having a buffet is being cheap.”
“Putting out eight-month-old leftovers at a wedding is a biohazard.”- CapoExplains
It’s understandable that anyone would want to take as many cost-cutting measures as they can when planning a wedding.
But any cost-cutting measure which puts the health and safety of the guests in jeopardy is most definitely taking things too far.
One can only imagine that the wedding planning days of the OP’s mother are over.