So we all know parents aren’t supposed to have a favorite child, but sometimes it happens.
The parents, of course, don’t admit it, but we observe little things here and there that support our suspicions.
On occasion – and in the most disturbing of cases – however, it’s not just tiny privileges and slides and extras that we notice bestowed; it’s a matter of emotional and physical needs of the unfavored being neglected.
A father on Reddit took notice and took action after his daughter was left hungry so his wife’s son could eat more, so he turned to the “Am I The A**hole Here” (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor Smart-Dependent-341 asked:
“AITA for abandoning my ex stepson?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I(M[ale]/48) was married to Lily(F[emale]/45) and together we have a 14 years old daughter Elena.”
“She also has a 17 years old son Isaac from a previous relationship.”
“Isaac doesn’t have a dad and I tried my best to be his dad.”
“I treated him exactly as I treated Elena however Lily was the SAHM and therefore she did most of the parenting.”
“I could always see that Lily favors Isaac but it seemed really mild and it wasn’t something I would worry about.”
“Then one day I figured that it was not that mild.”
“To be clear I fully blame myself for not seeing this sooner.”
“So about a year ago I got home from work and it was pretty late, I missed dinner.”
“I saw Elena taking multiple snacks constantly and eating them which is really odd because she doesn’t like eating many snacks.”
“I asked what they had for dinner and she said nuggets.”
“I asked how many she had and she said 3 pieces.”
“I asked why? I mean I went shopping yesterday and I’m pretty sure I bought 2 packs of nuggets and each had 20 nuggets in them so it’s not like we didn’t have more.”
“She said that’s all her mom gave her.”
“I confronted Lily and asked why she didn’t give her more food and she just shrugged and said that you know how Isaac is, he has a big appetite, being a teenager.”
“I asked Isaac if he actually had 37 pieces of nugget while his sister only had 3?”
“And he said yes, I was hungry.”
“I asked them how they could just let Elena go hungry and they argued with me that ‘she is a girl she doesn’t need much food’ and ‘drama queen will live.'”
“To say I was seeing red is an understatement.”
“I had a terrible fight with Lily and here we are, a year later and the divorce is finalized.”
“I changed my will and disowned Isaac.”
“I asked for no custody of Isaac because honestly the only feeling I have for him now is resentment.”
“Lily keeps calling me and telling me I’m a monster for abandoning Isaac like this.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on the situation and declared OP is not the a**hole (NTA) in this situation, with many stating that the mother, however, is.
“She is letting her own daughter go hungry in preference to her son.”
“I wonder if she only married you to support herself and her son and didn’t intend to get pregnant.”
“How much did that woman really love you?”
“NTA” – Dranask
“NTA.”
“‘Lily keeps calling me and telling me I’m a monster for abandoning Isaac like this.'”
“SHE’S a monster for not seeing anything wrong with STARVING your daughter in favor of Isaac.”
“And then MOCKING HER for being hungry.”
“I don’t blame you in the slightest.” – Condensed_Sarcasm
“NTA this sounds awful, what kind of mother would pick one child over the other?”
“I think you did what is best for your daughter.”
“Try to find out if there were other instances where this happened…” – Salty-Tomcat8641
“NTA. Lily is obsessed with Isaac.”
“She is also a creep for letting her own other child to live like this.”
“Like. come on, is Elena actually Cindirella??”
“Good thing that you were and are looking out for your daughter.” – Federal_Pineapple267
“NTA Favoritism in parenting is a serious issue, and it’s understandable that you felt betrayed and hurt by Lily’s actions.”
“If you felt you couldn’t continue in a family dynamic where your daughter was treated unfairly, prioritizing your own mental health and emotional well-being isn’t wrong.” – Rita_Sexyyou
“NTA. You wife is intentionally starving her daughter.”
“Good for you for getting her out of there.”
“14-year-old girls need food just like boys do.”
“I’d probably never talk to either of them again.” – Lisa_Knows_Best
“NTA, they are MONSTERS and honestly I hope you got full custody of your daughter with SUPERVISED visits ONLY with your POS ex.”
“Tell her her son doesn’t need much attention, considering he’s a boy and almost an adult, that he has her full support and you need to have your sole focus be on your daughter since her POS mother starves her.” – little_Druid_mommy
“NTA – I can’t imagine ever starving one of my children for the other… especially when there’s enough food for everyone.”
“I grew up with a single mom that would go without food to make sure my sibling and I were able to eat what we needed.”
“Your ex is horrible.”
“Not only is she starving your daughter, but 37 nuggets for one meal for her son?”
“The sodium in that is wildly unhealthy…that’s like 7 servings and even one serving is high sodium (I only know because our kids eat nuggets all the time 😅).”
“Your step-son and ex have neglected your daughter at best.”
“While more of the responsibility is on your ex as Isaac was a child for most of it, he’s 17 and is old enough to know better even if Lily taught him it was okay to mistreat Elena.” – WaryScientist
“NTA. He is not your son and he treated your daughter horribly.”
“Your ex is a terrible person for restricting food to her own daughter.”
“That is awful.”
“I’ve had food restriction from a step-parent before, and it took a while to recover from it.”
“Thank you for protecting your daughter.” – lilpotatobake
“She abandoned her own daughter long before the divorce.”
“NTA” – grayblue_grrl
“NTA- Isaac could have eaten 30 and Lily 10 nuggets with a side dish or side dishes like potatoes salads, cole slaw, or fries and would have been fine.”
“But to think three nuggets would be enough and acceptable is not favoritism it’s abuse!”
“You absolutely did the right thing.”
“If your ex couldn’t treat her kids equally and fairly, you needed to protect your daughter.”
“She has to deal with her son all by herself.”
“Your ex and her son had a sweet deal and their absolutely horrible behavior ruined it.”
“Get your daughter some therapy.”
“She never deserved to be treated like that, and I can’t imagine the garbage the ex tried to blame her for.” – PassComprehensive425
Others also mentioned that at 17 years old, Isaac is old enough to know better and should have shared with Elena.
“NTA. Your ex is a monster, and so is Issac.”
“Every parent has to make sure that everything is equally split, especially food.”
“Ex intentionally left your daughter hungry.”
“Also, I would get if Issac was 7 with no parental supervision.”
“But he is 17, and by now, he should know how to share.”
“Also, he is not your biological child, he is obviously neglectful and unfit to be around your daughter.” – International-P-2104
“Dude, do people have zero empathy about seeing others hungry, like if during lunch one of my friends didn’t bring their lunch for whatever reason I will share it with them idc.”
“Also, 37 nuggets is f**king insane.”
“I eat a lot, and the most I had at once was probably 10 or 12.”
“If I was Isaac and saw my lil sis having and eating 3 nuggets while I had 37, the thought of sharing will obviously come to my mind.”
“Some people really have no empathy.” – Radiant-Key8594
“nta = issac is 17 and knows better than to be a d*ck.”
“He’s not your problem, focus on your daughter.,” – grouchykitten1517
“NTA. He is 17, not an idiot.”
“He knew leaving his half sister 3 nuggets wasn’t enough and he didn’t give a sh*t.”
“I imagine they did this to her alot when you weren’t around.” – CrabbiestAsp
“NTA. 17 years old is old enough to know better than to eat more than his fair portion.”
“His precious mommy can keep her golden brat.”
“You just focus on giving all your love to your daughter, and I hope you got majority custody.”
“There is probably so many other instances of your daughter being neglected by her mother in favor of stepson.” – Rowana133
“At 17 years old, he should know how to share.”
“37 nuggets to Elena’s 3 ain’t fair.”
“NTA”
“EDIT. I bet that’s not the only case, that’s the only one you saw.” – No_Fee_161
“Normally I would say abandoning the kid you’ve known and raised since he was 3 is messed up, but at 17, even with the pushing of his mother, he should know that leaving a 14 year old with 3 nuggets is straight up Evil and the fact neither have shown any empathy or guilt.”
“It makes even less sense because this isn’t a step child/sister where there could be undue resentment at least, this is just straight malicious” – wolfmaster307
“I was straddling the fence until you said he was complicit in starving your daughter.”
“Nope, him and his trash mother can get bent.”
“He’s 17, he absolutely knows 3 nuggets aren’t enough for a teenager for dinner.”
“NTA” – Sassy-Pants_888
According to his fellow Redditors, OP did the right thing by getting himself and his daughter out of a horrible situation.
As for his stepson being cut off, it sounds like people on the platform believe he had it coming.