Let’s be honest—no one’s favorite pastime is changing diapers.
But it’s still something that has to be done.
One pair of parents found themselves arguing about this, according to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor asiam46433 forced her husband to try changing diapers after he criticized how she changed them.
But because her husband had a particular issue, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was in the wrong for pushing him.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for making my (germaphobic) husband change our son’s diaper?”
The OP’s husband had a weird habit whenever the OP changed their baby’s diaper.
“My husband [Male] 27 and I [Female] 25 have a 2 months old together.”
“He does everything almost except changing diapers. He’s a hardcore germaphobe so I handle the dirty part of our son’s care.”
“So my husband’s been pestering me about the faces I make when changing our son’s diapers. Telling me to smile all the time.”
“I told him to leave me alone, it’s easy for him to say when he’s not the one dealing with the smell.”
“But every time when I’m in the middle of changing diapers, my husband would show up out of nowhere like he busted me or something and tell me that the faces I keep making have an ‘impact’ on our son’s emotional state and should smile.”
“He’d motion with his hand and be like ‘Smiiiiiiiile’. I told him to leave me alone, he knows how difficult this is for me but does nothing to help. Instead he just mocks me and keeps pestering me.”
“I said if he ever tries to hassle me again with the ‘just smiiile’ bullcrap then he’ll start handling diaper change.”
The OP stood by her word.
“Last night at around 9, he was in the kitchen already eating dinner without me and not waiting while I was getting ready to change my son’s diaper.”
“He came into the room with his mouth full of food and once again commented on how my face looked and reminded me to smile and ‘show love’ and stop causing harm to our son’s emotional health.”
“I snapped!!!! I walked up to him and told him that he ran out of chances to stop his annoying behavior and he should start handling diaper change from now on and we’ll see how big his smile will be.”
The OP’s husband did not like the idea.
“His tone changed and he said that we both agreed that I’d be handling diaper change even before our son was born and that I already know too well what the reason is.”
“He’s a germaphobe, yes. But he’s also a PARENT. What type of parent never changes their baby’s diaper?”
“I handed him the stuff and asked him to enjoy it while I kept standing to watch how he do it. It took him forever and as I expected, he made all types of disgusted, grossed-out faces, and for a minute, I thought he was going to throw up.”
The OP and her husband argued after that.
“He was finished. I said he lost the smiling contest with those faces he made.”
“He was p**sed and rushed to wash his hands, complaining about how I’m trying to get him to do everything. And that I ruined his appetite by having him experience ‘that’.”
“I replied that he still ain’t seen nothing yet and asked, since he wants us to have 4 kids, how he will be handling the other 3.”
“He said he changed his mind and only wants 2. But still my point stands.”
“He tried to argue that I’m not taking his germaphobia seriously and what I forced him to do wasn’t cool.”
“He’s been upset since then. AITA?!?!”
Fellow Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said germaphobia shouldn’t get in the way of caring for a child.
“NTA he’s being a real a**hole. You are being fair.”
“He needs therapy so he can perform his responsibility as a parent.” – bebett
“Seconded. Therapy needs to happen here. It’s one thing to be a germaphobe, but it’s another thing entirely to refuse care to your child.”
“What, she can never leave the baby with him in case a diaper change is required? She goes out and the baby poops so he…what? Lets the baby sit in poop until she gets home? It’s not rational. He has to deal with it.” – lelawes
“I’m a germaphobe. I’m having a baby in a month and there’s a good chance I will be using gloves when I change my child. OP’s husband is using germaphobia as an excuse to get out of diaper changing.” – QuixoticLogophile
Others pointed out the smiling requirement was not cool.
“And at the very LEAST stop making her try to SMILE during diaper changes!! WTF?!?!” – Blonde2468
“That was the worst part. If he’s going to take a pass on changing diapers, he needs to shut his yap. He doesn’t get to walk in the room and criticize OP’s demeanor.”
“Also, someone should tell him it’s not going to mentally break your kid if you aren’t smiling during every diaper change.”
“What’s he gonna do when that kid hits the stage where the baby is way more mobile and is physically fighting against getting their diaper changed? I promise him, smiling will be the last thing he’s thinking of when the kid is flailing and getting poop all over themselves.” – Molicious26
“As far as I can tell, my kids were never traumatized by my facial expressions when they had stinky diapers. If anything, they laughed at the faces I made.”
“He needs to get over himself. The kid will probably pick up more from seeing his mom get criticized so often than he will from seeing her cringe at a poop.” – run23456
“This is some major control freak stuff. NTA. I’m not sure I’d be having another kid with him, either. Red flag.” – zunzarella
The subReddit was in agreement on this one, germaphobic or not, parents have to be able to take care of their children, and sometimes, that’s a messy task.