First impressions are important, but second impressions are the unsung heroes of many relationships.
Sometimes people need to get used to someone’s personality before deciding if they like them or not.
Redditor throwawayaitawatches encountered this very confusion with his girlfriend. So he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
He asked:
“AITA for wearing a nice watch to meet my girlfriend’s parents?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“It sounds bad I know…”
“I am a 28M and my girlfriend is 26F. We’ve been together for about 6 months and I have loved every minute of it. This incident happened yesterday.”
“I have a passion for watches and I consider myself a collector.”
“For context, I come from a wealthy background and through that I was able to create a business with a friend after college. Things have really popped for us over the last 3 years through a combination of hard work (over 100 hours/week for the first 2 years) and luck.”
“As of right now my partner and I both stand to each make about 8 figures this year.”
OP treats himself with his watches.
“I’m doing well but I also prefer to save rather than spend if I can. I was always taught the age old cliché that ‘money talks but wealth whispers.'”
“I live in a nice, but relatively modest house in a great family neighborhood, it feels like home to me so it’s all I really need. The only things that I really put money into are my passions: watches, golf, and music gear.”
“So she and I were getting ready to go meet her parents who are from out of state on their way to their vacation. This was the first time I met them so I was a little nervous. My girlfriend works as a trainer and comes from a solid middle-class family. She said her dad is a very hard worker but he could sometimes be a bit tough with new guys.”
“So, we get ready to go meet them at the restaurant, which was a perfectly nice place by the beach, and I threw on a pair of nice shorts and a polo along with my daily watch, which is a Rolex Batman GMT that I’ve had for 4 years.”
“Putting it on is habitual. I don’t really think about it.”
OP felt ready to meet the in-laws.
“When we got to the restaurant we exchanged greetings and got to our table. Everything was going good.”
“Halfway through her dad glances down at my wrist and asks to see the watch I had. I took it off and handed it to him and he looked at it for a second and just goes ‘Do you expect me to be impressed by this?'”
“I asked him what he meant and he just says ‘This stuff may be impressive to ‘your people’ but my daughter isn’t some trophy for you to flaunt! I’m not going to let my daughter get close to you just for you to get tired of her and leave her heart-broken. I know your kind.'”
OP was shocked.
“I had more than enough. I told him he knows nothing about me or my character we left the restaurant.”
“I got pretty worked up on the drive home. She kept telling me that it wasn’t my fault and she’s never seen him act like that before but then she said ‘I guess you can’t wear a watch around him.'”
“That got me thinking.”
“Was I the a**hole here? Should I have not worn the watch since it was a first meeting? Was I wrong for getting up and leaving?”
“I know I wasn’t trying to prove anything to the guy, I was just wearing something that I always do. But then I start thinking that I must’ve not read the room properly. I feel terrible about what happened.”
“TL;DR: Wore a nice watch to meet the girlfriend’s parents and her father used it as a means to make assumptions about my character.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA”
“He’s off his rocker. Wear the watch.” ~ ___LapisLazuli___
“Since this is the top comment I’ll post the update here.”
“UPDATE: Alright, so this was actually a pretty quick turnaround. So the girlfriend just got to my house from work and she was already on the phone with her parents on the drive talking about last night.”
“She came inside and put him on speaker and he apologized to both for everything that happened last night. He told me that when he was younger his sister dated and very much loved a pretty wealthy guy.”
“Apparently this guy cheated on his sister (they’re very close) constantly and was incredibly emotionally abusive. Basically, he said he knew about my background and was okay with it but when he saw the watch it reminded him of that guy and all of the bad memories and he just lost it.”
“He said he’s willing to give this another try if I am because he said he saw how happy his daughter was before it all went sideways. I accepted his apology and agreed that we’ll give it another go and they’ll stop and visit us on their return trip.”
“He seemed pretty sincere and remorseful.”
“I also apologized and told him I should’ve read the room better but he brushed that off and told me not to worry. Honestly, I couldn’t be more relieved because I really do care about this person and I want everything to be as happy as possible. I appreciate all of the feedback and even the criticism there’s a lot I can learn from this. Thanks all!” ~ throwawayaitawatches
“What is this, a bunch of functional adults with real emotions and the ability of introspection/personal growth???! Is that even allowed on this sub?!” ~ blindfire40
We’re glad they figured it out.