Gambling can be fun when done responsibly. It can even be fun to do as a family activity.
You can even decide what to do with the winnings together, but that’s for the person who won to decide.
Redditor GamblingStepsonTA encountered this very issue with his girlfriend’s son. So he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
He asked:
“AITA for making my girlfriend’s son give me his gambling winnings?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (44m) have been with my girlfriend (40f) for several years now.”
“She has one child–a son who recently turned 18. He and I get along really well, at least for the most part.”
“But recently he and I had our first blowout fight and I’m wondering if I was wrong.”
“What happened was that we were returning home from a summer trip. My girlfriend decided that we should stop at a casino near the border of our home state–she enjoys gambling, maybe a little too much but that’s a different post.”
“We ended up getting a hotel room at the casino for a night. For a lot of it my girlfriend’s son and I just hung out and watched a CSI marathon. But eventually we ended up joining his mom on the casino floor.”
“I gave the boy $100 and told him that he should go make me some money.”
He definitely made some money.
“Eventually I met up with my girlfriend (his mother) and he came up a little later to both of us with a cash waiver for about $1,100.”
“He looked really proud of his earnings. I told him to turn his cash for another $100 but he responded ‘No, I think I’ll keep this.'”
“I answered him ‘No, you didn’t earn that’ and took the money and explained that all winnings between us were communal. I gave him another $100.”
“I think that he had no claim to his gambling winnings in the first place since it came from my money. My girlfriend is actually with me on this.”
“But her son is really mad it me right now; probably the angriest he has ever been, feeling like I stole his winnings and it’s had me thinking that maybe I’m in the wrong.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was the a**hole.
“YTA you GAVE the $100 to the kid with no expectation stated to pay it back.”
“It wasn’t a loan, and even if it was, he’s a fucking kid and you should know better. You have no rights to money you gave away.” ~ WavesnMountains
“I want to know if he actually said “go make me more money” when he gave him the $100. In my mind that’s the only thing that possibly makes him not TA.”
“If he set the expectation from the beginning, like he says he did, that it was his money and he was just giving the ‘fun’ of messing around in the casino, not the money, then against my will I think I have to argue he’s right. Mind you, that’s semantics and he should at the very least split it.” ~ Monkey_with_cymbals2
“Then he is even more of an asshole in my mind if those were his words and he genuinely meant it. You don’t go to a casino and employ your girlfriends kid to make you money.”
“In all likelihood the kid loses it. Then what? Do you hold it over his head too? OP is just mad they lost money and the son didn’t. I don’t think asking for the original $100 back is a huge ask but this whole thing is an asshole move.” ~ cycleski
“I can 100% see it being said as a joke, however, it’s hard to tell from OP’s post if he was joking or not.”
“His behavior has me leaning toward partly joking, more than partly not. :/”
“YTA OP – You gave him money so he could gamble along with you and his mom. Besides, he’s 18, just let him have the bloody money and enjoy the time he’ll have with it! Imagine being 18 again yourself and suddenly having $1100 – would you be happy if someone came over and told you ‘sorry, your winnings are actually mine!'” ~ PhiberOptikz
OP gave his girlfriend’s son the money as a gift.
“I think a % up to a 50/50 split would have been fair here.”
“OP provided the startup capital and should be compensated for that while Kid provided the work and the proceeds so he should get most of the money.”
“Court cases have fallen on cases like this ranging from OP just getting his money back to a 50/50 split.”
“OP is in the wrong for taking all of the money and now he’s created a lasting issue between himself and the stepson.” ~ ImFinePleaseThanks
“The kid could be generous and give OP his $100 back, but anything more is the fruit of the kid’s labor.”
“It’s like loaning a kid a car so they can get a job. You expect them to fill the gas tank back up, but wouldn’t demand an additional part of their paycheck (room and board being a separate issue).” ~ VoltaicSketchyTeapot
“He gave the kid $100. He didn’t say ‘I’m investing $100 in seed capital in your company.'”
“If you expect 50/50 returns, you need to ask up front. This is a complete AH move, and it’s no wonder his son is upset.”
“Given that the mom is on board, there probably are gambling issues in this family. I used to spend a lot of time in casinos and this post is giving me huge red flags for degen gamblers. Angle-shooting kids to take their $$. Mom has a gambling problem. Expect to pool their ‘winnings,’ etc, etc.” ~ ErikLovemonger
“Don’t be so sure. My dad was this level of asshole. I was 9 and we went to bingo because there was nothing else for him to gamble in our area other than bingo and scratch offs.”
“When I won the jackpot her took the half the winning plus the money to buy the cards and die. Some parents are just like that since they lack the ability to think outside of themselves.” ~ LostNYCTourist
OP should prioritize his relationship over his money.